Just wanna say that comments and suggestions are always welcome and appreciated!


I was bouncing the entire way back- the boundless energy imparted on my by the frost didn’t seem to have the same effect on my master. He was energetic, but it was an anxious kind of energy; like he was looking for a fight. He tapped his boots, his fingers, he muttered about Tao and spoke in numbers that I didn’t pretend to understand, stats on his fighters, his idea of how I measured up. We were in our room (we had taken the stairs to burn off some of that energy) when he finally snapped at me.

“Stop fucking twitching!” he commanded.

“I’m sorry, master.” I knelt down as he slammed the door.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He demanded, “Ever since I decided to bring you you’ve been disobedient, impulsive, spoiled- what is it? Should you just not be allowed to leave the house?”

I started crying, and wouldn’t meet his gaze. I knew that there was going to be pain in those eyes, anger seething underneath it. I knelt at his feet with my hands to my sides resisting the urge to wipe away my tears.

“You were going to snap his neck. Don’t give me this, ‘I didn’t mean to’ bullshit- because that’s what you were going to do! You were going to break his neck like you broke his fucking arm.” suddenly, with a fierceness that I hadn’t been expecting, because I hadn’t been looking at him, he backhanded me, and I fell from a kneel to my ass, and stared up at him, crying freely now, “Do NOT ignore me, Xaxac! You were going to kill him.” He stared at me, as if he wanted a response. He hadn’t asked a question.

“Yes?” I tried, and flinched when he moved his hand to ruffle his hair.


“I don’t know. Because then it would have been over?” I ventured a guess.

“Are you telling me or asking me?”

“Um… I don’t know…” I tried to move back, thought better of it, and finally wiped my tears, “I don’t know things! I’ve never had to know things! I don’t think when I do things! I just try to do what I’m told! I didn’t think about it!”

Another blow to the face- more blood. My mouth was bleeding again- but he probably just reopened the first wound- it had started to heal.

“Take those clothes off before you get blood all over them!” he demanded, so I stood, took them off, folded them and sat them on the bench in the room. He watched me, and when I was finished, snapped, “Pour me a glass of that absinth! The crystal glasses in the sitting room- while I figure out what to do with you.”

I sighed, in appreciation that he hadn’t really hurt me, and went to do that. I returned with the glass and the only bottle that had been left in the basket. He- we must’ve left the other one at the arena. I knelt beside the bed and handed it to him. He threw me one of the towels that had been folded and left on our dresser- I wonder why they did that- and snapped at me again.

“Wipe your face!”

It seemed a waste of a white towel, but I did it.

“Did he hit you in the fucking face every time?” He grabbed me by the chin and pulled me up to look at the wounds, “bruising- your lip is cut- why is your mouth bleeding so bad?”

“I… one of my teeth came out when he hit me…” I blushed, “I… it’ll grow back though, remember- like when I was little…”

“Yeah,” he sighed and took a drink, “It might work that way.”


“I told you not to get hurt!” he hissed, but it was much more gentle.

“I didn’t mean to… I’m not a very good fighter, master. I’m sorry.” I sobbed.

“Stop crying Xac!” the anger was back in his voice. I took a deep breath and willed myself to strengthen. “The truth is, you’re an excellent fighter… and I was not expecting that. That is… that is actually kind of freaky. I’m not comfortable with it. But you took down and almost killed one of our most seasoned fighters in… what, about fifteen minutes?” he sighed, “Shit… he’ll be out while we wait on him to heal.” He took another drink and leaned back, in thought.

“You definitely need a bath,” he finally said, and took another slow drought, “And I do not need to make decisions during a blackout. I’m not going to remember this tomorrow,” he suddenly realized something, “Holy shit. You’re sober.”

“Not the frost…” I answered and filched, expecting punishment for my boldness in correcting him.

“I forgot about how fast you heal from shit. You’ve got to keep drinking or you sober up. That must be a bitch.” he looked down with care almost replacing the anger. I nodded. “Xac, you cannot keep acting up.” I nodded. “Do you want to keep fighting?”

“Do I… get more frost every time?” I asked sheepishly, and knelt with my head on the floor between my hands.

He laughed. I looked up, just to feel him tussle my hair.

“What the hell- if we can get it, you can have it before you step into the cage.” He smiled, “I love that look in your eyes.”

What look? Fear? Confusion? Gratitude?

He kissed my forehead, “I’m still going to have to punish you- you’ve been acting up far to much on this trip.” I nodded, “But first, we’re going to go downstairs and take a bath, and you’re going to see how long you can hold your breath.”

I arched an eyebrow in confusion, not really understanding what he meant, but I followed him as he moved to the door.

We took the elevator back down, the servant staring holes through me the entire time- something that normally made me proud, of my body, of my charisma- but everything was getting on my nerves and I leaned against the wall and tried to ignore him instead of flirting back. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm down- opened them, and realized that everyone else was in the bath or in a robe. Weird. Well, a lot of the servants were naked behind their little aprons. Whatever.

We went to the same bath he had used the first time- the same one we had used every time. I think that it was a personal bath for my master since he had bought into the hotel. Nice. I loved how the water came in heated- yet the bottom of the tub didn’t feel boiling like the one we had at home. I climbed in while my master was disrobing, and saw him close the door- he hadn’t done that before and the servants generally took it as a sign that he wanted to be left alone.

He climbed inside and rested near the edges while I cleaned myself- I hadn’t really paid much attention to the room, but I realized that there were little strings hanging from the celing; little cutouts in the tub at floor level holding the various soaps and whatnot, and I suddenly realized how they had dried the entire thing while I was asleep the other day. The water flowed inward like a waterfall from another bamboo shoot high in the celing- and there was a panal that I tripped over, on the other side of the tub, that slid out, letting the water out. It was to small to fit through, but the water would have no problem. I bet when the water got cold, they let it out and pumped in new, hot water.

I lathered myself up and ducked to rinse, thrashed, and came up, arching my back and gasping for air. God, I love baths! It was hot today though- my skin was taking on a red tone beneath the color, and it was making me sleepy- thank Quizlivin, because the frost was burning through my system and I needed to be tired.

I sighed contentedly, and leaned back, letting the heat sooth my tired muscles. It felt amazing.

“Xaxac,” I heard my name and turned to see my master motioning for me. My face was healing and I’m sure the bruises were gone, so I smiled, in the cutest way I could muster, and crawled to him.

“mmm,” he sighed as I crawled into his lap, and gently moved my face to get a better look at it, “Already healed. Perfect.” He pulled me into a deep kiss and I melted. While he explored my mouth- no longer filled with blood, he put his hands on either side of my hips, and moved me higher- I braced my knees against the bench he was sitting on, just under the water, to help him get me positioned over his now erect and towering member. He slammed me down just as he released me, chewing on my bottom lip where the fighter had connected with it.

I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck. I heard him laugh.

“Already healed,” he repeated, but I knew he wasn’t talking about my face.

“mm-hm,” I agreed, and bounced- pushing up with his shoulders and arching my back so that he hit my sweet spot, grinding into him, moaning in pleasure- the warm water caressing my sore muscles, his deep thrusts relaxing me, my mind began to shut down, my eyes rolled back, his grip tightened, thrusting faster and faster- we found a rhythm and I let myself go to the ecstasy, the build-up. I forgot the world outside of myself and gave in to every feeling of pleasure, clutching him for dear life, spreading my legs as far as I could.

“Take a deep breath,” he warned, but I barely heard him, I couldn’t hear him, I was to far gone.

And then, I was underwater! At first, it felt amazing, he had one hand over my nose and mouth in a death grip, the other around my waist, still pumping into me- the hot water surrounding me in a cloud of comfort. Then I realized- I couldn’t breath!

My eyes sprang open and panic settled in. Shit! Um… I need to do something about this! This wasn’t like being choked at all- my lungs burned- then my entire chest- not a peaceful glow, not a comfortable numbness- my entire body fought me- trying to get me to figure out why I was letting myself drown. I couldn’t hear my master- the soap and herbs in the water stung my eyes, but I couldn’t close them. I was trying not to flail, trying not to fight him…

Was he going to kill me? Why? Because of the fight!? I wanted to beg, wanted to plead with him- wanted to start offering stupid bargains that I knew I could never keep, but I couldn’t. I also couldn’t control my urge to move, to strain, to try and get to the surface, so I wrapped my legs around him- he was standing now, I realized, pushing me, holding me down- I held onto the arm that had my face with a death grip! Why was he doing this? What had I done to make him this upset with me?! Tears wouldn’t describe the way I cried- panic and sorrow couldn’t describe the way I felt. I knew that whatever I had done, I deserved this… But a part of me, just didn’t want to die.

And the entire time, the steady pumping continued, mocking me, fighting my mind, fighting my desire for life, reminding me of my real purpose- and I knew that no matter what, I had no choice. I wanted him to kill me, if that’s what he needed to do. I gave up, lost my grip, lost my will- I had been underwater for to long, my vision was fading, my lungs had given up, and my brain was beginning to shut down. I had lost hope.

And he chose the second that I went completely slack to fill me with his hot cum, one last time. At least I could still do that- at least I had one last use, one last moment of… love? Before I was gone forever. I smiled beneath his hand and wondered what would happen next- wondered why I had misbehaved so badly… wondered what I had done to push him to that point. My eyelids were so heavy- my entire body was heavy- I felt like dead weight- nothing would respond even if I had tried to move. So I stopped trying. I just relaxed. And I thought about how much more I could have done for him- how I could have avoided this-

And his arm, still wrapped around my waist, jerked me upward. He moved his hand- why? I slumped against him, still sitting in his lap, my eyes were open, but I couldn’t see.

“Xac?” he asked.

I tried to answer him, but my body wouldn’t let me. It had faded away. I couldn’t access it anymore.

“Xaxac!?” There was panic in his voice.

I can’t, master. I want to, but I really can’t. I can’t even cry over it.

“XAXAC BRIGADDON!” he yelled, and slapped me again-

Wait- that hurt! I opened my eyes and inhaled sharply, then coughed as my confused lungs rejected it. Shit! The world slammed back into me and I tensed, fell back, but he caught me. I couldn’t get any air, I kept coughing it back up! Water? I spit it out. Air- oh fuck, air! I tried to take slow, deep breaths, leaning against my master with his arms wrapped around me! He had changed his mind! He didn’t kill me! He wanted me to stay- here- in the world of the living- with him! As soon as my arms would obey I wrapped them around him, and dug my head into his shoulders, weeping for joy and thanking him so many times that he words began to lose their meaning.

“I thought you were going to kill me!” I sobbed, “I won’t ever disobey you again- I never want you to hate me again- I swear I’ll be good! I swear!” I sobbed into his shoulder, and his grip tightened, “I love you so much! I never want to hurt you again!”

“Oh, Xac,” he sighed, “Stop talking, baby, breath, ok?”

I cuddled deeper into him- I wanted so badly to be able to crawl inside him. I don’t know what made him change his mind, but I was still alive! He hugged me deeper- and we seemed to meld together. I could feel his heartbeat as frantic as mine- wait- he was scared! He had only meant to scare me! When I had stopped breathing it had scared him! Holy shit- he was afraid- afraid that he was going to lose me! He really did care about me!

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June 2018
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