Posts Tagged ‘petite brunette’

Before I met and married Ray, every man I had ever been with, boyfriends or husband, were all very jealous; they would get upset if I talked to a guy much less flirted! So you can imagine what a shock it was when the first time Ray and I were together he was trying to show me off!



He had flown down from Oklahoma to Austin to spend the weekend (after many weeks of long distance courting); I was living in a two bedroom apartment complex with my 18 year old son which did not allow for much privacy. After meeting Ray at the airport and smothering him with kisses, we went for a bite to eat, then back to my apartment for him to unpack and shower.



I think he wanted to impress me because he insisted we go out to a fine restaurant/club where we could get a good meal, drinks and enjoy some quiet conversation. I wore a pair of black slacks, heels and a not too low-cut blouse that was not very revealing though with the brassiere I was wearing it was easy to see my perpetually hard nipples through the material.



I knew of a nice quiet restaurant a few blocks off of Sixth and Congress that had a perfect ambiance. So we talked and we flirted, we dropped double entendres and sexual innuendos and we drank and we drank some more. Leaving, it was all we could do to get to my car in the parking lot before we were wrapped in each others arms. Holding each other tightly in a passionate embrace, pressed against my car, we made out like teenagers.



When I was married to Skip he would never allow me to dress in sexy clothes (though I did), much less have any public displays of affection! Now that was difficult because I have AWAYS been an exhibitionists and I have never had a boyfriend or husband that would allow me to flash or show myself. Indeed it was quite a surprise to have Ray publicly groping me and an even bigger shock when he unbuttoned my blouse and unfastened my front clip brassiere, exposing my titties right there in the lighted parking lot.



Oh My Gawd, I was in heaven!! We kissed, we fondled, we groped, he even sucked on my titties and unzipped my slacks, pushing his hand down to my crotch so he could touch my wet pussy. I reciprocated and unzipped his fly, reaching under the waist band of his briefs and pulling his hard cock out into the warm night air; I was hoping he would at least let me jack him off. It was extraordinary, here we were in a parking lot, on a Friday night, at nine in the evening and there were people walking by. I was sure at least one couple saw us, my blouse was pulled openly displaying my bare chest, and I was tightly gripping his exposed, hard penis.



I squatted down, my back leaning against my car as I tried to pull his cock to my lips. I was almost expecting to be rebuffed but instead he grabbed my head and pulled me forward to his dick and let me suck him, IN PUBLIC! I tugged down his pants, his underwear and pulled his cock and balls out of his shorts and then pulled his slacks down past his ass, baring him.



I sucked him. I let him stroke his stiff dick in and out of my mouth, I held his shaft, I examined it, I admired it, I licked and sucked his hairy balls, even taking one in my mouth, I reached between his legs and encouraged him to widen his stance as I tried to work my finger in his sweaty ass. He moved his legs apart as I buried my finger to the knuckle, fucking him. I could feel his cock head throbbing in my mouth as I worked my finger in and out of his asshole.



It was right about then, as Ray was punishing my lips, slamming into my face, that a couple approached. Chirp! Chirp! The sound of a car alarm. It seems the black Camry parked next to us belonged to them; the dude had let his date in on her side of the car and had been standing patiently, watching, waiting for us to finish. How polite is that? I cut my eyes to the guy as he stood just a few feet from us, staring.



Believe me, it is hard to flirt with another man when there is a big dick pummeling your mouth but I did attempt to wink at the young dude. He smiled as Ray grabbed the top of my head, and grasping a big handful of my beautifully fixed hair, pulled me back off of his cock and jerking his meat with his other hand, he let his CUM violently spurt across my face, into my open mouth. Big thick clumps, landing in ribbons, as he smeared his jizz with the swollen head of his dick, then back inside my mouth, grunting, groaning as he continued to spasm out his cum, oblivious to any watching.



Pulling me to my feet, while simultaneously pulling up his slacks, he kissed me; my bruised lips smarted as he pressed his own lips hard against mine. Unlocking the car and opening the door, he helped me inside the car as he walked around to the other side. I opened the glove box, found a couple of napkins as I flipped down the visor to use the mirror to attempt to clean Ray’s nasty spunk off my face and chest. Yes, my blouse was still open and my titties also had Ray’s thick residue smeared across them. I looked to my right and and of course the couple in the Camry was watching me, sitting there smiling as I cleaned up, reapplying my make-up, picking clumps of semen out of my hair.



Good Gawd! I needed a cigarette! I asked Ray if he minded if I stepped back out of the car and had a smoke. He shook his head no as he turned on the radio and rolled down both windows. Buttoning my blouse as I started to get out, Ray stopped me and asked to me to leave it open. Sure, I would love to. I was still raging HORNY and loved it that he wanted to look at my breast and show me off.



I stepped out onto the pavement and lit my Marlboro, sucking in a deep drag as the nicotine helped to curb some of my anxieties. I love to smoke and I have no desire to quit, thinking to myself how good it felt as I walked around the front of the car, of course I was trying to look my sexiest as I pulled my shirt back away from my breast, thrusting my chest out as I glanced down at my nipples. WOW! They looked huge, hard and erect as I reached down to tweak them and cup my breast for Ray.



I walked to his side and stood about a foot from his door as he seemed to take me in, his eyes running slowly up and down my body, a sly smile hinting at his lips as he said it. “Show me your cunt.”



Excuse me I thought as he said it again, “Show me your cunt.”



Again, “Show me your CUNT.”



Not demanding, but softly, almost like there was a question mark at the end. Such a nasty word, CUNT. I wanted him to see my CUNT. I wanted him to touch my CUNT, finger my CUNT, lick my CUNT. I wanted him to FUCK MY CUNT.



My slacks were still unzipped as I pushed them down, past my hips. His blue eyes were staring deeply at my eyes, unblinking as I continued to push my pants down past my thighs. I slipped out of my shoes and let my slacks fall to my ankles as I slipped one shoe off and stepped out of one leg of my pants; then slipping the other shoe off, I stepped out of the other leg and neatly folded my slacks and reached in Ray’s window and placed them on the back seat.



I slipped my heels back on and stood back with my feet a little past shoulder width apart, pulling my blouse back, letting him see me, my breast, my belly , my hips, my thighs, my legs, my CUNT. I reached down with both hands and pinching my labia between the thumb and forefinger of each hand I pulled my pussy lips open, subtly thrusting my hips forward as I offered my CUNT to Ray.



He continued to look me directly in the eye as I slid one hand to my wet hole and used two fingers to collect some of my wetness to smear over my clitoris. I put my finger inside my pussy. I put two fingers inside and finger-fucked my CUNT. Slowly at first, then picking up the pace, I knew I would CUM.



There was a pick-up truck parked next to us so I could not bend over very far, but I turned my back to Ray and stood a bit sideways between the vehicles as I leaned forward and let him see my ass as I reached between my legs and used my index moisten finger to play with my asshole, spreading my pussy juice on my anus as I pushed my finger up inside my shithole. I dug deeply into my ass, fucking my bung hole.



Of course it was while I was bent over, masturbating my cunt and asshole that the owner of the pick-up truck walked up, well actually it was a couple of young guys that must have worked at the restaurant. I was looking over my shoulder at Ray when I saw him look away, then I again heard the familiar Chirp! Chirp! of a car alarm. I did not stop but continued with the Slap! Slap! Slap! of my pussy as I fucked myself, spanking my swollen clitoris as I felt my cunt spraying my pussy juice and piss as I started to shiver and quiver from the orgasm coursing through me.



I knew there were strangers watching me, I did not care and apparently neither did Ray as he watched me trembling from my GIANT CUM. Bent over like I was, my ass and pussy were totally exposed and vulnerable and ACCESSIBLE, I was fantasizing that someone would slide a big thick cock in my fuck hole and finish off my orgasm with some nasty doggie-style fucking.



I am not sure if it was a sense of protection or a touch of nervousness from being in an unknown area, but whatever it was, Ray got out of the car and assisted me to my side of the car, my legs were so wobbly from the overwhelming climax that I could barely walk as he helped me in the car. Walking back to the driver’s side I saw him talking to my two spectators, laughing, then shaking hands with them as he got in the car and started the engine.



He said they were going on about how HOT I am and they even asked him if they could come home with us and fuck me! Hmmmmm. I did not want to appear to be a slut and smile real big or act excited at the prospect of a gang bang with two young HOT dudes plus my new lover, so I acted a little shocked when I asked what he told them.



He said he gave them my address and they were going to stop and get some beer then come over to my apartment. I was doing mental back flips inside my head!! I had NEVER had a foursome and as HORNY as I was right then I could probably fuck the entire Texas Longhorn football team and still want more! So to say I was a little anxious would be an understatement. Then I remembered my son, James was at home, CRAP. I was trying to think of all of his friends that he could spend the night with when I blurted out that maybe we could get a motel room for a few hours.



Now I really did not know Ray that well, even though we had gone to school together since we were five years old, it had been twenty years since we had been together and this was actually the first time we had ever been sexual with each other. I did not know his quirks and kinks, nor what a tease he could be, so I did not realize he was pulling my leg. Luckily I did not clap my hands and scream, “Goody, Goody” at the prospect of a HOT night of satisfying three men, so maybe he was still a bit in the dark as to what a cum whore I am.



We drove down Congress, to the Capitol building then back down to Sixth street, where Ray slowly cruised the street, windows still down and me pant less and blouse open. Ray was intent on showing me off, he was too obvious as he drove through the busiest parts of downtown Austin making sure to stop at every light and driving side by side to any truck he could find. Of course I accommodated him by spreading my legs and playing with myself while he drove. It was pretty HOT. The most outrageous was when he pulled up right outside the entrance to Stubbs and there was a steady stream of people going in and coming out. He double-parked under the street light, (he even turned on the dome light) while I finger-fucked my wet pussy, arching my back so much that my pelvis was almost as high as the window. I was going to CUM again as I spanked my clitoris, stopping to pinch it then back to slapping, then two fingers in and out, then grinding three in and out of my CUNT.



A small crowd had gathered around my car as I tried to put on the nastiest show I could. It was perfect, I was so turned on having so many people watching me, and to have Ray sitting there proudly indulging me in one of my many perverted fantasies, it was too much as a thick stream shot out of my pussy up in the air. OMG! I was squirting a MAJOR stream as I pissed and CUM all over my upholstered seats. I did not stop, I leaned back to the console and put my feet up, one on the dash the other on the door, as I opened my legs wide for an unobstructed view of my nasty gash.



Ray drove off just as one of the onlookers reached in and started to finger fuck me. The dude actually stuck his fingers in my pussy and started finger fucking me!



We drove to my apartment and as Ray gathered up my purse, slacks and shoes, I got out of the car, naked, well almost naked as I did have on my open blouse! Ray came around to help me. He was too much, he did not ‘make’ me get dressed, he did not try to hide me in the darkness of the trees or bushes, but instead walked me, arm in arm, to my apartment.



Fumbling with the keys he found the front door key and unlocked the door. I guess Ray had not even thought about my son James being at home and I am sure he did not expect James to have a couple of friends over while his Mom was out on a date. Guess what? James was home, as well as two friends who also live in the apartment complex, playing video games in the living room when I walked in. At least I did attempt to pull my blouse closed as I walked past James and his open-mouthed, gawking friends, slacks in hand, but with my swollen pussy lips, matted pubic hair and my red bare-ass I was sure James would be a hit with his friends.



Now let us jump ahead about three months, Ray and I had a whirlwind courtship and got married in June of ’89, only a couple of months after his trip to Austin.



_________________________________________________



We had only been married a couple of weeks when a classmate of ours (Ray and I had gone to public school together) spent the weekend with us. Mark lived out of town and had come to help organize a high school reunion. He and I were both on the planning committee and Ray offered to let him stay at our house rather than spend money on a hotel. That evening, after dinner, as we sat in the living room talking and watching television, drinking Margaritas, Mark pulled out a joint and asked if we wanted to get high. Of course I did but Ray did not smoke and so Mark and I went out on the back porch to indulge.



After we came back inside my ‘new’ husband Ray ‘suggested’ I put on something comfortable since I was still wearing my ‘good’ clothes from our earlier alumni meeting. By this time I was feeling pretty good, pretty loose, and the Xanax I had taken had really leveled me out, so I went to the bedroom to change. I had this thin white linen dress that I just loved to wear around the house so I had planned to slip it on, when Ray walked in as I was pulling it over my head and chided me, called me a prude because I still had on my brassiere and panties. This little thin white linen dress is soooo sheer you can easily see right through it, but what the hell if my husband likes to expose his wife who am I to argue?



Mark was more like an acquaintance rather than a friend, someone we had attended school with but we never hung out together. I thought I knew Ray well enough to know he was just going to tease Mark, torture him, knowing full well how HOT it makes me when I get to let people to look at me. Keep in mind, Ray and I had only been married about two weeks and up till then all we had done was flash some strangers, showing a lot of titties and some pussy.



Mark was a nerd, a really smart and nice guy, but not a stud or someone that woman would fantasize about, so when I came back in the living room I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head, especially when I sat down on the couch and pulled my feet under me and sat with my legs crossed. My dress was hiked up on my thighs and from where he was sitting not only could he clearly see my nipples through the thin material of the dress but my bare pussy was openly exposed! Then my dear, helpful husband Ray acted like he was looking for the remote control and turned on the track lights lights which was like turning a spot light on me.



The look on Mark’s face was hilarious and it was all I could do to stifle a giggle as Mark stared, wide-eyed, first at my breast then at my pussy, back and forth, up and down!! It was so funny that I wanted to torture him even more as I casually opened my legs wider as I talked to Ray, I was even sensually hunching my cunt very slowly, trying not to be too obvious, but enough that I could feel my pussy lips pull apart as my clitoris swelled out from between my wet lips.



I maneuvered my dress even higher by scooting my ass to the edge of the sofa. I could not believe Ray was letting me be this extreme in front of a schoolmate, a home town boy. The scene was so HOT, and the really funny thing was how the three of us were carrying on a normal conversation like nothing out of the ordinary was happening, talking about school, politics, nervous small talk.



Finally Mark excused himself to use the bathroom and when he stood up I could see he had a VERY distinct bulge, the ‘package’ in his pants was really sticking out! Now I was the one staring as I got to enjoy his reaction to my indecent exposure! As he walked past me on his way to the rest room, he stopped to talk to me as I almost nervously put one hand on my lap.



Holy Crap! Instead of my hand resting on the material of my dress I felt my naked and wet pussy! I had NEVER flashed like this, well at least not someone I knew, someone that knew me, I mean sure when I was much younger, but as I got older I always made sure it was a stranger, not someone that knew everyone in my family!



I tried to not let him know how freaked out I was so I kind of casually began to gently touch my naked cunt, circling my index finger softly around my clitoris, sliding between the fat puffy folds of my labia, rubbing my wetness over me. The hilarious part about this whole surreal scene was that he was still making small talk, telling me about when his dead uncle Claude was a Guthrie postmaster! We were having a ‘normal’ coffee shop type conversation while the whole room ‘dripped’ with SEX.



The whole time Ray was sitting across from me watching, smiling, adding very little to our conversation, but amused at both Mark and me and our stilted, nervous attempt at ignoring the obvious. It was his very subtle nod and equally subtle raising of his hand to his lips and a quick lick of two fingers that I took as a signal. Then to make sure I was clear on what I was ‘supposed’ to do he made a circle with his thumb and index finger and with the other hand slowly inserted his two middle fingers, in and out.



Mark was still standing next to the arm of the sofa, and had not yet made it to the bathroom, no doubt because his eyes were riveted to my crotch as I absent mindedly used my fingers to massage my genitalia. But now Ray wanted more, so still making small talk and not taking my eyes off Mark, I used two fingers to spread my sex open and pinch my throbbing purple love knob while my geeky schoolmate stood next to me, with his own tool throbbing hard in his pants.



I hunched my pelvis forward, arching my back as I moved my hands, my fingers to my wet, wet hole as I slowly worked two fingers inside and began to slowly finger-fuck myself. The small talk ceased and Mark was now speechless, no more trivial BS as I am sure the look on my face, the heavy-lidded, half closed eyes, my lips partially open as I ran the tip of my tongue across them, even my breathing became deeper, heavier as I was now seducing my nervous friend. I knew the look I was giving him was one of pure SEX and desire as I leaned slightly towards him, licking the pussy juice off my fingers.

Dressed to attract in high fashion and high heels, she arrives inside my bedroom doorway, shyly, almost timidly. Without a word, as if obeying a silent command, she slips off her shoes, enters and quietly closes the heavy wooden door behind her. She sees me, I’m naked; my hard pointy nipples and round luscious breasts are poking out from behind my straight, long blonde hair and my pussy is freshly clean-shaven.



She knows what I want. She has come here, intriguingly, by invitation, to perform a most special gift.



In anticipation all day, I’m excited and my cunt is already wet. Looking at her incredible appearance more love juice gushes out between my thighs. She is truly beautiful, a hot lady and size petite in all proportions. Her dark hair flows across her shoulders. She advances slowly into the dusky room toward the side of the bed after shyly glancing to her right, toward the window. Her flowery perfume is filling the room, totally capturing my attention.



I’m smiling lost in hazy, lustful daydreams; I watch her start to slowly, seductively, pull off her clothes piece by piece, dropping them onto the rug below. The yellow flickering candlelight creates a warm glow on her nearly naked body while dark animated shadows slowly sway on the wooden panelled wall behind her. The incense burning on the antique dresser is starting to mask her perfume as she advances into the room. The heady, smoky scent swirling around us both is relaxing lavender enhancing the atmosphere. Thick heavy tapestry drapes are drawn shut closing the world’s eyes on tonight’s play. Two grand oak columns at the foot of the old-fashioned four-poster bed hold the fluffy white comforter from falling on the floor. Now standing so close she looks at me with her large brown eyes and waits for her expected orders.



I kneel moving slowly towards her, on the woven bed sheets to the edge the bed, I reach up and gently stroke her glowing rosy, flush-coloured cheeks and caress her soft dark brown hair. Quietly, I whisper into her ear. “Thanks for coming.”



My face is close to hers; my closed lips gently brush over her bright, shiny red lipstick. She sensually parts her mouth ever so slightly. Our wet tongues reach out and dance together long before our lips actually touch to kiss, so velvety soft, so sweet.



I cuddle into her seductive dainty breasts donned with those perky, dark nipples that are ever so prominent against her pale white skin, plain to behold even in this dim lighting. I kiss one and then cup and lick the other. My tongue tastes, enjoys, the feel of her smooth satiny skin followed by her textured areola punctured by her hard, long nipples. My hand glides over the pearl necklace she wears wrapped around her thin waist and falls over her fury mound to fondle her cunt. I shift aside her little, black leather thong whilst I adoringly suck on her tiny hand-sized breast. Licking, wetting, my own two fingers, I part her hot swollen lips and stoke her waiting wet hairy pussy all over. With total abandon, she throws her head back giving a quiet moan. Offering her my fingers, she sucks them taking them into her mouth tasting her own love juice.



I shuffle myself backward towards the middle of the bed, with my back to the pillows, giving her ample room to join me. Lying on her back with her head toward the door legs spread towards me. Offering herself to me, I lower my face to her crotch; I close my eyes and draw-in a heady mixture of salty apple scent that her excited pussy gives off with a swirl of the mild, wet leather panties. Slipping the thong down off her legs, I kiss her belly button ‘neath the beautiful oval-shaped silver-yellow pearls. My tongue circles around in the deep abyss. Lying naked against each other’s warm bodies we share, caress and enjoy building excitement as we alternately massage our hands and mouths upon our breasts and lips. Flirtatiously, she has applied her bouquet of perfume along her bosom.



I am consumed as I watch as one of my nipples completely disappears inside her lustful red lipstick. Her muscular lips begin to pull my tit away from my chest rhythmically sucking hard. I feel a yank each time she stretches my hard nipple, into her hot mouth. The drag is sexually electrifying, the sensation pulsating down in my clit as though she is already between my legs. I want more. I yearn for even stronger suction with a long moan. She reads my mind and obeys my wicked wish.



Eventually, we entangle ourselves mouth to pussy enjoying a soixante-neuf for mutual satisfaction. With my arms embracing her outer thighs, her legs bent up high openly exposing her most private secrets to me, my fingers are free to play with her hairy cunt. From above, I open her fleshy outer lips wide and lick the folds of her inner light pink cunt, up one side and down the other. My tongue shaped like a small cock is deep inside her spread vagina, lapping, tasting and drinking her milky love juice but I know where I’m expected.



A woman knows what a woman wants. I gently pull back her clit’s protective covering and hold it there for easier access. The tip of my flattened tongue circles around her exposed erectness. She smells incredibly delicious. I circle again and she responds with a relaxing sigh. I enjoy the silky feel of her eclipsed skin.



She wants it; she needs it, I want it.



With half of my face encased between her soft lips, buried inside her dark tickling hair, I graze over her delicate clit my gentle tongue sweeping its way up and over. I release my touch and I do it again, stroking up and down. Ever so slowly, again, with feathering brushes I glide over her. I continue teasing her with these creamy little touches. I love licking her; her taste, her smell, that natural scent and her satiny folds. Her body language indicates she wants more as she raises and tenses up her legs.



I lick up and down again and again before swishing my tongue across her bulb sideways back and forth. Up and across faster I eat sucking her clit into my mouth feeling little explosions on my tongue. She moans loudly with excitement. I leave no secret hidden and no skin untouched. Almost roughly I force two fingers deep into her cunt, hunting for, finding her G spot.



All the time I feel the pleasures build in my own clit as we favour each other at the same time. A hot tongue licking and sensual lips sucking my own sensitive bulb have made my legs wiggle and my fleshy cunt is pumping around her fingers desperate for more. There are too many sensations all at once and it is difficult to tell exactly what she is doing to me as I still try to concentrate on playing with her succulent, sodden pussy that I’m so lucky to have today.



Faster I please her, giving her a steady vibration. She moans. I lick. She wiggles. I lick. She raises her legs. I lick. I eat her at the same pace trying to match the growing excitement in my own cunt. Playing with my fingers and teasing with my tongue in alteration, I am in paradise.



Licking and sucking…



Rubbing and stoking…



Moaning and gasping…



As she soon nears the peak of her climax, groaning loudly, I try to keep my tongue focused licking rapidly and directly on her clit, but I’ve lost the feeling of her little bulb in all her excitement. My excitement. I lick and suck anyway all around her clit’s area still pushing my fingers deeper right into the heart of her very soul, just as she is with hers in me. Heated passion is building in both of us. Together our deep breathing has evolved into quick little pants.



Now! Pleasures in my own pussy have risen to the point of no return. My lady’s legs begin to tense and shake as I drink her sweetness, as she drinks mine. She arches her back and lets out a scream from deep within her gut while violent tremors erupt from the centre of her body. Shaking turbulently from the waves of sexual enjoyment, I too have come to a rippling orgasm expressing my satisfaction with an ear-piercing scream.



We both collapse, spent, in a hug. Lying together embracing our warm sweaty bodies, we take a few minutes to cool off and collect our thoughts and our breath.



It is time. Our arousal still remains high and demanding of more.



Honey, you sit naked and overjoyed slowly stroking your fully erect cock in the comfy arm chair beside the covered window, almost hidden in the dark, you have been taken completely by surprise by tonight’s guest’s appearance, the most pleasurable viewing performance you have ever witnessed.



I am ready, now, to invite your hard wanting cock to taste and receive the gift of two women.



To my love.

copyright ©2009 by A_Satori. All rights reserved.



(Author’s note: This is a story of love and desire that could have been placed in a number of story categories.)




***************



SATURDAY MORNING



Bing! “3″ appeared on the display. Ted placed his palm on Kyli’s lower back.



“Is this our level?”



He nodded. “Yeah.”



The elevator opened on the third floor of the concrete parking structure. They smiled as they held the doors open to allow a forty-ish guy carrying a couple blueprint tubes and a briefcase, probably with his college age son handling the loaded baggage cart to exit first. Ted had noticed both of them checking out Kyli, not leering, just noting her beauty in an appreciative manner. Without thinking, his own eyes drifted down to her apple ass as he pulled his hand off her back and they stepped out. He had been gawking at her butt for fourteen years, since she was twelve and he was sixteen.



The fabric of the pleated, cotton, hiking shorts hugged her bottom. Even wearing those she looked beautiful, hot, and seductive to him. His gaze lowered to her smooth, slender, toned legs. She was petite, with dark brunette, nearly black hair, not as long as it was when she was twelve, barely reaching her shoulder blades now. Her breasts were small but proportional to her slender figure, maybe because of her it always seemed odd when he’d see Asian chicks with big boobs. She had a very pretty and cute face, and her dark, almond shaped eyes laced an exotic quality into her beauty and sexiness. Her eyelids even had that second crease that was supposed to be a prized beauty trait among Asian girls.



He was always amazed at how she could still look like a teenager sometimes, and failing that, she always looked younger than her age. The most remarkable thing about her was that she never seemed to be aware of how beautiful she was, which added another attractive quality to her.



He forced his eyes away from her ass and glanced down the aisle for the car. He felt his cock stirring and hated himself for allowing it to take notice of her again. He waited until it calmed down before he put his arm around her shoulders.



He smiled. “So… wha’d'ya think? Will they have a good time?”



Kyli folded her arms over her chest and watched her feet as she walked. She nodded as a small smile formed on her mouth. “Uh-huh.” Her brow pinched as she looked at Ted. “But… did Dad seem nervous to you?”



“Yeah, I think he was, but not about the flight if that’s what you’re thinking.”



“What was he nervous about?”



“His colitis. He was concerned it might be a problem. He made some jokes about it yesterday, but I think he’s worried it’ll get in the way of them having their dream trip. He really wants Mom to have a perfect three weeks.” Ted smiled. “I think the first phrase he learned in that Berlitz book was, ‘Where’s the toilet?’”



“I thought his med was taking care of it. He told me that at Easter.” She had gotten so scared a year ago when she visited and saw her father had lost thirty pounds. Her first thought had been cancer. He hadn’t gained all the weight back. He actually looked younger now. He and Mom had joined a health club last fall. She had slimmed down and toned up, although Mom had never been overweight. They both looked younger now.



“Yeah, it does for the most part, but I think he has days where it doesn’t work very well.” Ted grinned. “I can imagine worrying about it. I’d hate to be in the Sistine Chapel, gazing up at the ceiling and suddenly be a moment away from droppin’ a load of personally bio processed veal parmesan and pasta alfredo in my pants.”



Kyli’s left arm moved swiftly. She lightly swatted her brother’s thigh. “Don’t be crass.” Her arm returned to her chest. “He’ll be fine. You know, I…” She sighed.



“Huh?” He pulled his arm from around her shoulders and fished out the car keys from the pocket of his jeans.



“Mom and Dad really love each other, but… but it’s not just that, it’s… they… they’re still in love. I think that’s very rare, very… beautiful.”



Ted figured she was comparing their marriage to her own failed one. It was only five months or so since the divorce was final. “You’re right. They still are in love and it is really rare.” He wondered if he’d ever find that kind of relationship with any chick. He used the remote to unlock his parents’ sedan. Beep! For the hell of it, he opened the passenger door for Kyli.



“Thanks.” She didn’t notice Ted gazing at her legs as she got into the car.



He closed the door and walked around the rear. Kyli pushed the door open for him. He got in and started the engine. They buckled their seat belts. He backed out of the parking slot and headed to the exit ramp. “Mind if we just roll the windows down and leave the AC off? It’s warm out but hopefully we’ll be moving fast on the tollway. There hasn’t been much traffic for some reason.” He didn’t think she’d object. She liked it warm and he liked the air blowing in.



“No, that’s fine.” She looked out the door window as it rolled down, her thoughts were still on her parents, how much fun they’d have spending three weeks in Italy. It had been their dream since before Mom had gotten pregnant with Ted, which was why they hadn’t done it thirty years ago. Her mother was 53, her dad was 55 and had just taken early retirement. Mom had told her they wanted to do the trip before they were too old to enjoy it.



The small smile now laced with a bit of sadness, returned to her lips. Mom and Dad didn’t seem very old to her at all. Last night when she had walked into the family area of the house, Mom had been sitting on Dad’s lap. They had been kissing and when she happened upon them, Mom had blushed the way she always had when they’d get caught kissing, but she had stayed on Dad’s lap just as she had in the past too.



It had never been like that with Raymond during their time together before they were married nor during their two years of marriage. She had wanted it to be that way, had wanted her other needs met too, and had hoped they would be. She had been a fool. The first part Ray had thought was silly and unnecessary, the second part he had said was perverted when she had opened up a little to him. Why had she married him? Because he was Chinese American? Was that it?



She had met Ray her college senior year when she had gotten it into her head that she needed to ‘find herself,’ to be more in tune with her ethnic heritage. Mom and Dad had always tried to provide that, celebrating dumb Chinese holidays when she was young, making a dozen trips to the Art Institute and the Oriental Museum downtown, going to a handful of festivals in Chinatown, and other somewhat silly but well intentioned attempts to make her aware of her ethnicity. It had never been very important to her until senior year in college. Junior year she had been going out with Tom for nearly six months when they broke up just before summer. The ending had been acrimonious. They had quarreled, and he had called her a “slant eyed Chink bitch.” It had hurt her to her core, and then she had gotten ashamed about how little she knew and how little she had cared about her ethnic and racial background. It was after that she had started thinking of herself as a hyphenated American.



Senior year she had joined the Asian Student Union. That was how she met Ray. He was first generation American. He spoke Mandarin. His parents had emigrated from Taiwan. He was good looking and smart, and she had enjoyed visiting his parents. His mother had been so nice and fun, laughing with her at her pronunciation when she had tried to teach her Mandarin phrases and words. Raymond’s father had been very nice too, more formal, yet he also had a sense of humor. Whenever they spoke Chinese to each other in front of her, one or the other would tell her what they had said, usually it was some funny comment or joke, about Raymond, or her, or themselves. Ray wasn’t like them or his sister, Lian, who had also been nice, funny, and sweet. He was always so serious, and never impulsive. He always had to have everything planned out.



Ray’s parents were a little like her own. Humor was part of both her parents’ personalities, they were always laughing about something. They had tried to make Raymond feel welcome, and then feel he was part of the family. She knew without being told that they were disappointed that, although very polite, Ray didn’t reciprocate their warmth. She could see now that his attitude towards them had been at least somewhat condescending.



A couple months before the wedding, Ted had taken her out to dinner, just them. She could see something was on his mind. When she had finally asked him what it was, he had responded with questions of his own– Are you sure you want to marry this guy? Are you sure he loves you? It now seemed as if Ted had seen something in Ray she had been oblivious to.



Since the final divorce papers were signed five months ago, she had been trying to remember if not truly understand, why exactly she had said yes to Raymond’s marriage proposal. He had been interesting, and attentive to her before they were married, and he had even been somewhat romantic giving her flowers or little gifts at appropriate times. She wasn’t even sure now why she had thought she loved him. Her eyes teared. It had been a mistake. Her eyes welled more. When she had finally opened up to him, Ray had called her a pervert. She reached for a tissue from the box on the console. She really didn’t want to cry in front of Ted.



Ted sighed within. He imagined Kyli was comparing Mom and Dad to her marriage to that arrogant asshole Ray. He waited until she wiped her eyes and blew her nose, then he reached for her hand and held it firmly. She squeezed it but didn’t turn her face to him. “You okay?”



She nodded but kept looking out the window. “Uh-huh. Sorry.”



He wanted to tell her that Ray was a self-centered, carrot up his ass, down his nose looking, smug, asshole, fucking prick, but he didn’t think that would help her mood. She gave his hand another squeeze, then pulled hers away. He glanced at her slender legs and pretty feet in the leather flip flops. He had a vision of licking from her toes all the way up to her pussy, then pushing his tongue between her labs. He had always thought they’d be thin and delicate, an exotic, erotic flower, just like the rest of her. He felt his cock stir again. He hated himself once more for his lack of control over it.



He put both his hands on the steering wheel. “So… tonight, what about dinner? I was thinking of us driving into the city, maybe hitting Pietro’s Pizza for stuffed, or… maybe that Thai place by the el station on Western. Wha’d'ya feel like?”



The corner of Kyli’s mouth curled. Ted was teaching at the university downstate and whenever he was in the Chicago area he’d drive all over creation for different ethnic foods, or his true gastronomic craving, Chicago hot dogs with a ‘full garden’ on top. She liked them too, but not every day. She laughed softly and finally turned her face to him. “I’m surprised you aren’t suggesting hot dogs.”



Ted grinned. “Well… that’s always on the list of possibilities. Ooooh… what about driving into the city, down to Taylor Street to Ally’s for an Italian beef? Then drive up to Armitage to that Italian ice place I’m sure I’ve mentioned before.” He had really enjoyed living in the city for two years. He wished he still was but he couldn’t pass up the tenure track assistant professorship when it was offered. It was the ultimate ‘survival job.’



“Do we have to decide right now?”



He looked at the dashboard clock. It was a few minutes before noon. “Nah, we got a lot of time. Maybe I’ll stop at Porti’s, get a dog to tide me over. I should have had breakfast with you guys. You hungry?” He grinned again when Kyli laughed.



“You are so predictable.”



“You really think that? A few girlfriends have told me I was fairly spontaneous.”



Her smile faded. She looked out the window. She knew what he probably meant and she thought he probably was. “I didn’t say predictable in everything, just food.”



“Hmmm… I’ll take that as a compliment.”



Kyli realized she was clenching her pussy. She told herself to relax, and then told herself to stop thinking about being adopted and that Ted wasn’t related to her by blood. She wondered why she was thinking about that again. It had been years.



Ted inhaled deeply. “Mmmm… I love this part of the expressway.”



Kyli was still deep in thought. “Huh?”



He dramatically inhaled again. “Before home, let’s stop at the grocery store and get a few Butterfingers and Baby Ruths.”



Kyli looked to her right and smiled. They were driving past the Curtis Candy factory. The scent of sugary chocolate was thick in the air. She giggled. “Okay, let’s. After you have your hot dog.”



He glanced at the dashboard again. “I think I better get two dogs. Dinner won’t be for another six hours.”



Kyli rolled her eyes, then shook her head slowly as she softly laughed.



***



SATURDAY NIGHT



Kyli squirmed her hips getting a little more comfy on the cushion of the redwood chaise. She felt relaxed for the first time in months. They had driven into the city to have dinner at a small storefront Thai restaurant Ted knew. The food had been excellent. Playing CDs and relaxing in the afternoon, then the drive into the city, dinner, then a delicious Italian ice at a little place on Armitage, the drive back home — it was just like it had always been when they spent an evening together. They talked about a hundred different subjects, from very personal to politics, art, music, to teasing and kidding around.



If it had been a date, it would have the best one of her life. They had arguments and fights as kids and as teenagers, but she knew that he had always been her best friend when she really needed one. She had been the same towards him. They truly cared about each other. They always had. She took a slow breath and sighed.



They only had the underwater pool light on. It gave an eerie blue, tinted glow to the stone patio. It seemed to cool the humid, warm air. She tilted her head back. She could only make out the brightest stars. She wished they hadn’t turned on the light. She heard the sliding patio door opening. She leaned to the side and looked back at the house. Ted had two glasses in his hands and was closing the door with his elbow. “Ted? Turn the pool light off, okay?”



“Don’t you want some light out here?”



“I want to look at the stars.”



“Oh… yeah, good idea.” He stepped inside again and switched off the pool light.



Kyli turned around and gazed skyward again. She knew with the naked eye only a million or so stars were visible, but now without the light it seemed more like a gazillion stars. She smiled at her thought. She had used that word when she was little.



Ted handed her the seven-seven, actually it was a seven and bourbon. His was bourbon on the rocks. He had been surprised earlier when Ky had wanted a mixed drink, her usual was a single glass of wine. He sat down in the chaise next to hers and took a sip from his glass. He hadn’t had bourbon in a while. Maybe they’d both get wasted on whiskey tonight. He had never seen Kyli drunk. He looked up at the sky. Venus was shining brightly. Or was it Jupiter? Ky would know.



Kyli sipped her drink. It tasted strong but she hadn’t had a seven-seven in ages. She looked at the stars again. She spoke softly, “Remember ‘a gazillion?’”



“Huh? A gazillion what?”



Her small smile grew a bit more. “A gazillion anything. When I was little I heard you say it once, and then… well, I started using it. I guess it wasn’t…”



He interrupted with a chuckle. “That’s right. It was your favorite word for about a year.”



“I think it was longer than a year and then… then you told…”



He interrupted again, “I told you it wasn’t a real word.”



“Uh-huh. I… I got so mad at you when you told me that. I remember looking it up in the dictionary with Mom and you were right, then I got madder at you thinking you had tricked me into believing it was a word, and I felt so dumb.”



“I didn’t trick you into believing it was a real word.” He chuckled again.



“I know you didn’t. I… I don’t know why I thought that. I overheard you using it a couple times, and thought it was… oh… that you were real smart, and it was a, you know, a smart, intelligent word, so I started using it too.”



“I don’t remember ever saying that word.”



“I guess… maybe you only used it like… maybe twice. At least twice because the second time I asked what it meant and you said it meant a huge number. Something like that. I thought you were so smart.”



He laughed. “Yeah, maybe it was something like that. I guess that shows you how dumb you were, thinking I was smart.”



Her smile faded. She took another sip from her glass. “You were and are smart. You know you are.”



“I think you got the brains in the fam, Ky. I’m just a glorified blue collar guy.” He took a gulp of his bourbon. “I work with my hands making art that’ll never sell well enough to make any sort of a living from, so I have a survival job teaching drawing and painting to college kids who don’t comprehend the work ethic. You can do calculus, physics, and all that brainiac stuff.”



“I teach eighth graders math, Ted.”



“I always thought you should have finished grad school and gotten that doctorate in physics instead of…” He stopped talking. Shit!



“Instead of getting married?”



He sipped his drink. “Instead of dropping out of the program.”



She sadly smiled. “Yeah, then I might be teaching physics in some high school.”



“Maybe, or you might be working for NASA or at some research accelerator or some place like that. You know you’re smart enough. I remember you talking about being an astronaut when you were… what? Ten or so?”



“Uh-huh, around that age.” She sighed. “I like kids. I enjoy teaching.” She sipped her drink. “Maybe it’s being home again, or… or what’s happened in my life recently and being home again, but the past week here, helping Mom get ready for the trip, I… I’ve been thinking a lot about… about when I was a girl, about us as kids.”



“Yeah. I guess I do too when I visit.”



“The other day I remembered a time when I was ten, Mom and Dad were going out for the evening and they told me you’d be the baby-sitter.” She smiled and shook her head. “I was so mad when Mom and Dad told me that, said you’d be ‘baby-sitting’ me. I mean, it wouldn’t have gotten me angry if they had just said you were in charge while they were out at that party. I thought since I was ten, it wasn’t baby-sitting.”



Ted softly chuckled. “I was probably pissed too. I never got paid for baby-sitting you.”



“It wasn’t baby-sitting.” She took a breath. “And then… then you became my hero that night.”



“Huh? Wha’d'ya mean?”



“Katie was over and we were… oh… I don’t know, listening to music, maybe playing a game on that Mac I had, doing something, and I thought going out to get a slurpy was what we just had to do. So, we went downstairs and I asked you to take us over to the 7-Eleven because it was near dark outside and Mom and Dad wouldn’t let me walk there after dark, but I knew you could take us there. You… you were playing your Nintendo and didn’t want to be bothered, but I…” She grinned. “I kept nagging you and then when that didn’t work, I started begging you, saying pleeeeeeze, Teddy, pleeeeeze take us. Remember?”



Ted blinked. It was coming back to him. “Oh man… that was the night…”



Kyli broke in, “Un-huh, that night. So you finally agreed to go with us. We were a block or so from Ogden Avenue walking on the sidewalk, you were ahead of us a few steps, Katie and I were talking nonstop about something, and those two bigger high school kids came up on bicycles really quietly behind us, and that one guy bumped his front tire against the back of my foot on purpose and I fell down, then he… he called me a… a stupid gook.”

Her eyes welled. “And… and the next thing I knew, you were picking me up asking if I was all right. I said I was okay, then you were practically flying through the air and you grabbed the guy off his bike and started punching him, and… and I got so scared because he was older and bigger than you and I started screaming at you that… that we should just run away, but… but you kept hitting him and-and demanding he apologize to me, shouting that no one talked to your sister that way. And… and then that other guy got off his bike and I got even more scared because I thought he was going to pull you off the other guy and they’d both beat you up.” She took a slow deep breath and wiped her eyes.



Ted glanced at her. He had heard tears in her voice before they had welled in her eyes. “Actually, Ky, you were the hero.” He smiled. “I couldn’t believe you started shoving that other guy away, standing between him, and me and the guy I was fighting.”



“I almost started hitting him, but… he just tried to push me out of the way, and I kept jumping back in front of him, pushing him. He probably thought I was like eight years old, because… well, I was always small, and I guess he would have felt like a super jerk if he had hit me or something. And then Katie screamed she was going to get her dad and started running home. Then you got that kid to… to apologize to me, and his friend told him to get on his bike, that the other girl had run off to get someone. I guess he wanted to leave before Katie’s dad came.”



Her eyes welled up again. “No one ever fought for me like that.” She sniffled and wiped her eyes again. She set her glass on the little plastic table between their chairs, then took some tissues out of her pocket and blew her nose. She didn’t know why she was getting so emotional.



“Dad would have killed that kid. I just wanted to beat him bloody. In fact… his mouth was bloody. I think I was too.” He smiled. “My knuckles got cut on his teeth.” Ted’s smile grew as he sipped his bourbon.



“He was so much bigger than you. I got so scared you’d get hurt.”



“I probably had more fighting experience than him. I got into a lot of fights. Bigger guys always seemed to pick on me, push me around, tried to bully me. I could never figure out why. I never picked a fight with anyone. Anyway, I didn’t want that kind of bullying crap happening to you.”



“I loved you so much that day.” She wiped her eyes again.



“After they rode off I thought you had really gotten hurt because you started crying so hard. Remember? I kept asking you where you were hurt.”



She giggled softly, then wiped her eyes once more. “I know. I was crying because I had been so scared about you getting beat up. I… I remember I hugged you really tightly.”



“Yeah. I… I remember that.”



She looked at him in the dark. “Did… did that embarrass you?”



He thought for a moment. “No… no, it didn’t embarrass me.”



“Why… why did you hesitate just now?” She bit her lower lip.



“It’s… it’s hard to remember exactly what I felt at that moment. I… I was really adrenelized, still wanting to beat the hell out of that guy, and… and if I was embarrassed about the hug, it was because… well, I guess I liked it. So… no, I wasn’t embarrassed, at least not the way you mean it.”



“You… you liked it?”



“Yeah, I guess I did. At the time, maybe I thought of myself as a hero too… no, not a hero, a… a defender, and the hug made me feel good I guess.” He chuckled.



“Why the laugh?”



“Maybe later I got a little embarrassed, actually more like worried.”



“You did?” Her heart sank. Had he worried someone saw the hug?



“Yeah. I started worrying your little friend, you know, Katie, might start telling everyone you had protected me, you know, from that other guy, and then it would get around my little sister had beat up some guy to protect me.” He laughed briefly. “Jeez… I really hated it when Katie and her dad drove up and he came running over. Asking who was hurt and who the stupid guys were.”



Kyli nodded. “He drove us home after that and you had to keep telling him we were okay when he kept saying we should come over and stay at their house.”



“I now know Mr. Hall was a good guy, but back then he really pissed me off. I didn’t want his help… his concern.”



“I didn’t want to go over there either. He took us home. Katie went back to her house though.” She looked at Ted again. “Remember what we did after that?”



He shook his head. “Yeah, that was super stupid of me.”



“I didn’t think so. You… I think you were trying to show me not to be afraid. In fact, you said that at the time. That I shouldn’t let any jerks or fear stop me from doing anything.”



He laughed. “Ky, going to the store again was incredibly stupid of me. Hell… you didn’t even want the damn slurpy anymore. We could have run into those assholes again.”



She smiled. “I did want a slurpy, but… but I didn’t want to take a chance those guys would come back and beat you up, and I was thinking they might get other friends and be looking for you.”



“See? I told you a few minutes ago you’re the smarter one.” He chuckled. He remembered a part of him wanting to run into the prick again. And Ky was right. He had been trying to show her not to be afraid. It really had been incredibly stupid of him though, at least going with Kyli.



“It was a little odd walking back there, no, not odd. I mean… I felt scared for you, the guys coming back, but… I felt safe being with you.”



His smile waned. “I’m glad you felt safe with me around.” His smile reappeared. “Remember the funniest thing about that night?”



Kyli finally grinned. “Uh-huh. The slurpy machine was broken!”



“Yeah!” Ted laughed and looked at his sister when she turned her face towards him. “We got something else, didn’t we?”



“Uh-huh. We got… mmm…” Her brow pinched for a moment. “Oh! I got a coconut milk and you got… oh… some sports drink, and… and I got a big pretzel and you got one of those awful meat sticks.”



He chuckled. “A Slim Jim.”



She kept smiling. “Then we sat at the side of the building and watched the cars on Ogden.”



“Yeah, that’s right.”



“I… I thought that was the best part.”



“Watching the traffic?”



“No. Sitting with you and talking, and… that… that you didn’t mind if any of your friends saw us together, you know, if they walked by.”



He grinned. “Well… it was a special night.”



Her smile faded again. “It was.”



He remembered when they got home, the two messages on the answering machine. His mother frantic on both. The second one saying that if they didn’t hear from him in ten minutes they were leaving the party and driving home. He had called in the nick of time, explaining that they’d been outside and didn’t hear the phone, and that no one was really hurt, that Kyli just skinned her knee a little. He had already started thinking going to the 7-Eleven a second time had been very stupid. He had gotten angrier at Mr. Hall, although it was probably Mrs. Hall, for calling his parents, then he got pissed about his parents giving them the number to the party, obviously Mom had asked them to keep an eye on him and Kyli.



Ted half smiled. “You know, the next day, Dad really got angry at me about taking you up there in the first place. He was really pissed at me.”



“Why? They let you go up there at night. You were fourteen, right?”



“Yeah, I know, but… well, you weren’t. I think he was… he was post facto worried like hell about the possibility of you getting hurt.” He chuckled softly. “Then he asked if I had nailed the asshole. I told him I had and he patted me on the back about that, then he said I should try not to get into fights. Dad should have gotten a parenting award for mixed messages.” Ted grinned and took a sip of his drink.



“You know, we’ve… we’ve never talked about what you thought or-or felt about… about… ummm….” She bit her lower lip again.



“About what?”



“About me being adopted.”



His brow pinched. “I… I don’t know what you mean.”



“I don’t know, did you… did you think it was weird or-or… or did you ever wish I was, you know, a biological sister?”



He answered immediately, “No.” His gut tensed wondering if he had responded too fast.



“No, what? I mean no to what?”



“No, it wasn’t odd or weird, and no, I didn’t want you to be a biological sister.” His gut tensed again. It hadn’t come out right. He took another sip of his bourbon.



“What do you mean, you didn’t want me to be a biological sister?”



“Huh?” He made sure his brow pinched as he looked at her. “I meant, it wasn’t weird that you weren’t.”



She tried to see his eyes better in the dark for a couple moments. “Oh.”



He thought he needed to cover up that slip. He searched his memory. His mouth formed a crooked smile. “When Mom and Dad told me there was a possibility I was going to have a baby brother or sister, I got really excited. I… I think they may have tried to explain adoption but I can’t remember if they did or not, but… my excitement waned when a few months later, maybe more than a few months, they showed me a little picture of you and said you were my baby sister.”



He grinned. “Mannnn… I wanted a baby brother so badly. But… then when they brought you home after being away for… well, it seemed like forever that Gramma was at the house taking care of me, but it was probably only a couple weeks. Anyway, they brought you home and I… I just thought you were so cool, you looked like this little doll that moved all by itself, and… and Mom made sure I knew about being gentle with you and… oh… I guess she probably told me about the soft spot and all that stuff. She then told me I was now a big brother so I had to make sure you were always safe. I guess I liked the idea of being a big brother, because then you being a girl instead of a boy didn’t matter anymore. I was a big brother.” He grinned. “You know, your pussy is the first one I ever saw.” He laughed softly.



“Don’t be crass.”



“Wanna hear about it?”



No, you ass.” She took a slow breath. “All right. Tell me.”



“It’s kind of amazing I can remember all this stuff, well… maybe not that amazing, I mean I was four years old. I had two big scares about you, and Mom and Dad had one.”



“Huh?”



“The first one was… it must have been a Saturday or Sunday because Dad was home. Mom was changing you, and during that she suddenly started shouting for Dad, then shouted for me to find him. I think he was outside in the yard or puttering in the garage or something. So… I get him and we both run back into the house. Mom tells him to look at your diaper, and she’s nearly shaking and saying she’s going to call the doctor right away or… take you to the ER, and…



“What?! Why?”



He chuckled. “I’m getting to that.” He sipped his drink. “So… she’s really upset and Dad’s looking in your poopy diaper, and he says… I remember this so clearly…” Ted laughed again.



What?!”



“He says, ‘Oh mannnn, those are goddamn worms.’” Ted laughed.



Worms?!”



Ted nodded with a big grin on his face. “Yeah, worms.” He laughed again.



“Oh… gawd. How did I get worms?”



“I… years later, I remembered it, and I asked Mom about it, and… well, it turns out that a lot of babies from China had worms, from… I don’t know, the water or something over there.”



“Really?”



“Yeah.”



“Oh, gawd.” She felt a shiver pass through her. “What… what was the other thing about me that scared all of you?”



“You’ll get a kick out of this.” He chuckled again.



“What?”



“Mom is changing you another time, this was after the Great Worm Scare…” He laughed once more.



Shut up about that! What’s this other thing?”



“It didn’t scare Mom or Dad, just me. The worms were what scared them.” He chuckled yet again, and had another sip of his drink. He realized he was getting a little looped.



Kyli’s pretty eyes grew large. “Just tell me!”



“Okay… so… this is soon after the Great Worm Scare, I’m watching Mom change you, I’m pretty sure I was checking for more worms, and… and I thought… I thought something horrible had happened to you and it really scared me.” He grinned.



What?!”



“I’m watching real closely, staring at you and I’m shocked because you don’t have a package.” He chuckled.



“Huh?”



“You don’t have a penis. And I got scared that…” His grin grew. “This is good.” He laughed. “I got scared because I thought the worms had eaten it!”



“Shut up!” She leaned towards him and swatted his arm. Smat!



Ted laughed yet again. “So I got scared and asked Mom about it, then… then she explained it to me. I guess… I guess that was my first sex talk and… and afterwards, in my boy brain, it really made sense that, you know, boys and girls would be different down there. I mean I knew girls and, well, women, were different by then, you know, tits and stuff, and girls wore dresses, and you weren’t supposed to punch girls, but you know, I didn’t know about pussies.” He grinned. “By the way, you have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen, Ky.”



She felt her vagina clench as if it had a mind of its own. She spoke softly, “Shut up.”



The grin left his face and his voice. “You know, I… I always thought you’d have a very pretty… beautiful pussy.” He blinked and his face went slack for a moment. “Ahhh… jeezuz… sorry, Ky. I… I shouldn’t have said that.” He realized he was definitely a little drunk.



“Did you… did you really think that?”



He looked at her, glad it was so dark. He couldn’t see her eyes very well. “Yeah, I… I did.”



They both grew silent. It lasted two minutes. Ted broke it. “Did I just screw the mood here?”



“No. I… I’m just thinking.”



“You know, it would have been really funny, if in that pregnant pause jus’ now, half way through it, you would have said…” His voice rose an octave and took on a lilt, “Ted? I always thought you’d have the prettiest dick.”



“Don’t be crass.” Kyli shook her head but smiled softly.



He laughed then finished off his bourbon rocks. “I’m gettin’ another drink. Wan’ a refill?”



“I don’t think you need another. How many is that for you?”



“I don’ know. Two I think.”



“I think that’s your third because this is my second. You had one more than me.”



“You trying to take Mom’s role here? Or illustrate your math skills?”



“No.”



“Then shut up.” He stood. “You want another?”



“No. Wait. Oh… all right.” She drank the remnants from her glass and handed it to him.



“Okay, be right back.”



Kyli realized that talking about their childhood had taken her mind off of her divorce, which made her think about it again.



Ted made the refills, then returned to the lounge chairs. The backyard was surrounded by trees and tall shrubs but he knew the moon was rising. It had gotten a little brighter on the patio. He handed Kyli her drink.



“Thank you.”



Ted sat down. “You’re welcome.” He tasted his bourbon rocks and stole a glance at Kyli’s legs.



She took a sip of her drink. “Are you bored talking about the past, our childhoods?”



“Mmm…. no. Have another memory?”



“Yes, but… I’m… I’m not sure I should bring it up.”



His brow pinched. “What is it?”



A million butterflies alighted in her abdomen. “It was a game… well… no, not really a game game, but… um…” She took another drink from her glass.



“What do you mean? When was this? What kind of game?”



“I was… I think… like thirteen, maybe fourteen.” She felt breathless for a moment.



His brow pinched. “Yeah? What game?”



“It wasn’t a game game, it was… I guess… um… I guess it could be called a ‘what if’ game, if… if it should be called a game.”



He stared at her profile wondering what the hell she was talking about. His gut tensed as it came to him. Oh… shit!



“It only happened… I mean, we played it only like… oh… like ten times. The first time we were in my room and playing… well, playing some sort of regular game, a… a board game or cards or something, and we were on my bed and we finished playing it. Mom and Dad were out on one of their monthly dates to the movies or dinner or something. You lost so you were putting the game pieces away, and I started teasing you about… about seeing you holding hands with that girl, I think her name was Darcy. And…”



He spoke softly, “Her name was Marcy… or Marcia.”



“Oh… yeah, and… and then I said… I asked, what… what you’d do if you walked into her bedroom when she was sleeping and… and you’d know that she’d not wake up while you were in her room, what… what you would do. Do you remember that?”



His gut tightened more. He was tempted to lie. He didn’t. “Yeah, I remember. Listen, Ky, wha…”



“Sssh. Remember what happened?”



“Yeah, but listen…”



She interrupted again, “I’ve never forgotten that.”



“Ky, I never touched you in any…”



“Ted, I know you didn’t touch me… inappropriately. If that’s what you’re worrying about.”



“Well… I didn’t.”



“I know you didn’t.” Her anxiety rose a hundred fold. “Never… nevermind.”



He took a slow breath. “Come on, tell me now. I… I need to know what you remember about it. To… to see if it matches my memory.”



“So you really do remember it, all those times?”



“I didn’t think there were ten times. Maybe six times, over… a few years .”



“Okay, it was probably less than ten. But… you do remember the times?”



“Yeah.” He squirmed on the cushion. He wondered what she was going to say. He took a good sized drink from his glass.



“I… um… oh… nevermind. Let’s not talk about it.”



“You know, I hate when you do this. You bring something up and-and then say nevermind.”



“What… what do you remember about those times, and tell me the truth.”



His gut was still in a knot. “Why… why don’t we both tell each other what we remember. You go first, about… the first time.”



She drank more, then slowly lowered the glass. “I guess, in a way, in a weird way, when I saw you holding Marcia’s hand, I… I don’t know a better word to use, okay? But… I guess seeing you two holding hands, it kind of made me… jealous, in a weird, you know, odd way. And then I started wondering what… what other stuff, you know, boy-girl stuff you two had done together.” She closed her eyes and blushed. She was talking as if she was thirteen years old again. “What you might want to do with her sexually, but at the time, I didn’t think the word ‘sexually.’ I don’t mean having sex. I was wondering about kissing, putting your arm around her, hugging, that sort of thing.”



He had always wondered why it had started. He was glad to finally know the reason. “Yeah, you teased me about holding hands with her, and then came up with the scenario, she… she was asleep, wasn’t going to wake up, no one would know I was in the bedroom with her and… and you wanted to know what I’d do.”



“Uh-huh, that’s exactly what I said, and then I told you… I said you should demonstrate it on me. You didn’t want to at first, but I said it was just pretending, and… some other things which I can’t remember, and then you said, ‘Okay.’ So I lay on my bed and had my arms at my sides and my legs together, and… and I closed my eyes, I guess to make it seem like I really was asleep. I-I think I told you to turn off the lights.” Kyli remembered how excited she had gotten, yet had been a little scared too.

“I think it was me saying the lights would be off if she was sleeping, something like that.”



“Oh… right, uh-huh. You turned them off.” She felt as nervous as she had been that long ago night.



“You had on a tank shirt, white, and… and those light blue short-shorts you used to wear.”



“It wasn’t really a tank shirt, more like a sleeveless T.”



“I’m sure it was a-a mens tank style undershirt.”



“No. It was a sleeveless, you’re… you’re thinking of a couple other times.”



Ted’s brow pinched. “Oh… yeah, you’re probably right.”



“I then said something… whispered something like… ‘What would you do first?’ Remember what you did?”



“I… I lay down next to you and told you I’d want to… to touch… feel her skin wherever it was… ahhh… exposed.”



“Uh-huh, and… and I think I asked where you’d start.”



“Yeah… yeah, you did.”



“You started on my face, my cheek, your fingers were so… so gentle, yet sometimes a little firm too, and it… it felt…” She sensed her heart beating faster.



“It felt… ahhh… what?”



“Don’t laugh, but… your touch felt… I guess the best word to describe it is… electric.” She took a quick breath. “You… your fingertips moved all over my face, my ears even, then your fingertips passed over my lips and that… that made me shiver. And-and you… you said you’d be thinking how pretty she was, and how much you’d want to… kiss her. And…” She closed her eyes and wondered why she had brought it all up.



“What?”



She took a sip of her drink. “I pretended… I sort of wished you… you were thinking that about me.”



“I… in a way, I… I guess I was saying you were pretty.”



“You were? Really?”



He shifted on the cushion of his lounge chair. “Ky, I’ve always thought you were pretty… hell, beautiful.”



“You… you have?”



He looked at her in the near dark. He half smiled. “Of course I did… do. Are you jus’ fishin’ for compliments? You know you’re beautiful and…” He stopped talking.



“And what?”



“You know… hot… and smart, nice, sweet, all that stuff.”



“You thought that when I was thirteen, that night in my room?”



He chuckled softly. “Ky, I can’t recall exactly what I was thinking every moment that night. I… Yeah, I thought you were very pretty.”



“So you might have thought of kissing me?”



He shifted his ass again. “I don’t know, yeah… maybe, I mean… we were, like you said, in a what if scenario. Pretending. I like… ahhh.”



“Huh?”



“I liked you lying still and I liked… touching you.”



“Your… your hand moved from my face to… my neck.”



“Yeah.”



“It felt… that felt a little scary, no… not scary, but…” Kyli took a breath.



“But what?”



“It… it was kind of thrilling. And then you stroked each of my arms, and-and I liked it when you had to reach over me to get to my far arm.”



“I…” He smiled. “You’ve always been thin, slender, and… and I was a little surprised that your arms, had… well, your muscles weren’t putty, you know, I mean, there was a muscle there. And then you flexed, and I thought you were trying to show me you had muscular arms.” He chuckled softly.



“That’s not why I tensed my arms.”



“Why did you?”



“Your hands felt… good on me. It was a reaction to that.” She again wondered why she had brought all this up.



“I… I pulled your shirt up from your waist a little, and when I put my hand on your abdomen, you…” He smiled again. “You sucked your stomach in and I thought you thought that I’d think you were fat or something.” He grinned. It was sort of fun to finally talk about it. He took another sip of bourbon.



“I didn’t do it because of that. I… you… your hand made me tense up again. I-I remember my heart started racing.”



“Why?” He wanted to adjust his crotch, his cock was growing and pulling some pubic hair. He didn’t want her to see him do it though.



“I didn’t know if… I didn’t know where your hand was headed.”



As furtively as possible, Ted re-situated the bulge in his crotch. He was remembering that long ago night in detail. He knew where he had wanted his hand to go. “I didn’t touch you in… in any inappropriate spot, Ky.”



“I know that. I said that a minute ago. I’m… I’m talking about what I thought back then.”



“Where… where did you want my hand to go that night?”



“I… I don’t think I thought about that, I was afraid you… you might go higher and… and I was… I was flat chested. I only had…” She exhaled. “Little pimple boobs.”



Ted chuckled.



Kyli half smiled. “Shut up. I still don’t have boobs.”



“Yeah, you do. You have nice tits. Feminine, delicate tits.”



“Don’t call ‘em tits.” She took a sip of her drink. “Was that a lie?”



“Huh?”



“Do you think I have okay boobs?”



“Yeah. They look great when you don’t…” His brow pinched. He knew he was getting drunk. He was telling her too much.



“When I don’t what?”



“When you go braless. They… you look good that way. When your back is straight.”



She wondered if he was just trying to make her feel better about her body. She took another sip of her drink. “Remember when you started stroking my legs that night and I squirmed?”



He thought for a moment. His cock was throbbing. “I… I told you to stay still.”



“Yeah. You said it like an… an order. It… that alone sent a shiver through me. And your hand… your firm yet gentle stroking made it so difficult for me to… to stay still.”



“I guess I knew that. It made me want to make it more difficult for you.”



“I remember your fingertips started to… just a tiny bit, go under the hem of my short shorts.”



“I didn’t touch you anywhere tha…”



She interrupted, “I know and quit thinking that I’m saying or implying you did something… something bad, okay?”



He relaxed a little. “Okay.”



“I-I really liked you stroking my legs, and… and even my feet. I was so surprised it didn’t tickle, I mean, when your fingers curled around to the soles of my feet. I loved every moment of that on my legs, and didn’t want it to stop, but… but…” She took a slow breath. She was clenching her pussy and squeezing her thighs together. She knew she was moist if not wet.



“We heard Mom and Dad coming into the house, and I bolted off the bed and out of your room.”



“Uh-huh.” She wanted to finally say something and knew she shouldn’t, but the drinks were convincing her it was okay. “I… I want to tell you something and I don’t want you to laugh or… or think I’m weird.”



“What is it?”



“Don’t laugh.”



“I won’t laugh.”



“I’ve… that night, I’ve… I’ve always thought of that as… as…” Her brain made her stop talking. A little voice was telling her to shut her mouth.



He tensed. “Thought of it as what?”



“I’ve… I’ve always thought of that as my… my… ummmm.”



“Just say it, Ky.”



“I’ve always thought of that night as… as my first…. okay, it wasn’t sexual, but… it… it sort of felt like… like my first boy-girl experience.” She frowned for a moment. She was talking like a thirteen year old again.



“Ky, I didn’t touch you anywhere that…”



“I know! I’m just telling you how I view it. You didn’t do anything wrong, and… and I didn’t either, but-but…”



“What?”



“It… it was… exciting for me, like a sort of first time kind of thing. I mean, you know. It… it seemed intimate to me.”



“It… it was exciting for me too, and yeah, intimate too, I guess.”



“It was for you too?”



He let out a huff of air. “Yeah, of course it was.” He took a sip of bourbon. He half smiled. Maybe she wasn’t very smart after all.



“I’ve wondered, I guess, those times when, you know before I was a senior in high school, if… if you were just teasing me.”



“Looking back now, don’t you think it was both of us teasing each other?”



“I don’t know. Okay… yes, I guess we were.”



“I had a really hard time getting to sleep that night.” A crooked smile formed on his mouth thinking of the pun. The pun definitely applied that night.



“I… I did too.”



“The time after that was even worse. It was… what a year later? That’s when you did wear that mens tank undershirt, and… and some sort of short-short PJ pants.”



“I know. You… nudged the straps down a little over my shoulders.”



“Yeah. I remember.”



“Your hand stayed up around my shoulders, neck, and collar bones a long time.” She recalled how scared and thrilled she was when the heel of his hand got close to her little breasts.



“Yeah.” Ted had to adjust his bulge again. “You always looked… ahhh…”



“What?”



“You always looked hot in that mens tank undershirt when you used it as a night shirt.”



“I thought you might have liked it.”



He smiled as the alcohol loosened his tongue a bit more. “‘specially after you really started developing. I… I could sort of see your nipples under it, I mean the darker color. And… and your tits got bigger than pimples by the way.”



“Shut up.” She had worn it knowing her nipples would just barely show under the thin cotton fabric.



“And I loved it when they got hard, stood up.” He tensed. He was saying too much. “Sorry, Ky, I… I’m little drunk I think.”



“Maybe we both are a li’l tipsy. I… I don’t… is… I mean, is it okay we’re talking about this?”



“Yeah, but… ahhh…”



“What?”



“I keep thinking you’re going to say I did something wrong, that I… took advantage of you, or… something.”



“I don’t think that at all. If anything… I mean…” She quickly inhaled and exhaled. “I seem to remember it was usually me getting you to play the… ‘what if’ game.”



His brow pinched. A moment later the corner of his mouth curled. “Maybe you took advantage of me.”



He chuckled. She actually had suggested or at least hinted about doing it most of the times, but after the initial ‘what if’ experience, it had been on his mind before every single time they played it. He would have suggested it but was afraid she’d catch on that he was getting hard-ons and got off on every moment feeling every spot on her that would be ‘okay’ to touch. When he was older, in college, home for the summer, he’d stay in on purpose when their parents were going out. He even missed a friend’s ‘home alone’ party once, which ironically wasn’t a time they did it.



“I… I didn’t think I was doing that.”



“You weren’t. That was an obvious joke, Ky.”



She thought about how each time they played it, Ted’s hands had gotten closer and closer to sliding onto her breasts or her pussy, and a few times she thought his hand would turn and his fingertips would go all the way to the crack between the cheeks of her butt, which she had found so oddly thrilling. Each succeeding time they played “what if” she had gotten the same kind of thrill she had the first time, maybe even more so each time. She had to fight her urge to suddenly twitch or turn to get his hand onto her small breasts or onto her pussy, or more fully on her bottom. Yet, when she really thought about it, it was never anything more than a really light massage, or like the times he had put on sun block for her. His fingertips or hands never touched any of her ‘private areas.’



She recalled the last few times they played the game and realized it had to be close to eight times they played the ‘what if’ game over four or five years. Sometimes it didn’t have anything to do with any specific girl he was dating, just an imaginary girl he was really interested in, some girl he’d be hot for, a few times there was no scenario. Mom and Dad would be out and somehow they’d be in their PJs in her room. By then they had both silently agreed or assumed that him seeing her in her panties was okay, since they were like the bottoms of her bikini.



She remembered the time they played it a few days after she had turned eighteen. He had come home from college for her birthday party. A couple days later they were home alone and it started out as it usually did, but after he had caressed every uncovered part of her body with his hands, he had said, ‘After I touched every bare part of her with my hands and fingertips, I’d want to stroke my face on her like this.’



When he moved his face all over her skin, she knew now she had gotten very close to having an orgasm. Without really consciously deciding to do it, she had repeatedly clenched and relaxed her pussy and bottom. She had done that before when he had only used his hands and she had felt intense, shivering tingles. It was like his touch made her body clench like that. When his face had stroked around her, it had been even better, she could feel his moist lips and his warm breath against her skin half the time.



She took a sip of her drink. “I… I liked it even when you stroked me with your face… your face and hands at the same time.”



Ted’s cock was throbbing. He knew there was at least a small semen leak stain in his jockeys. “Yeah… ahhh… me too. I’ve never seen any girl whose… whose skin is as soft and smooth as yours, like… like you don’t even have pores. It… it was like satin. It still looks like that.” He noticed the moon peaking above the trees.



Kyli felt more butterflies alighting. “Do… do you remember that spring break, a couple months after my eighteenth birthday when… when we were both seniors, me in high school, you in college.”



He squirmed again. “Yeah. Yeah, I remember.”



“Mom and Dad were out with another couple, and… and I brought up some ¬what if situation, but… but you changed it a little.”



“Yeah… I know.”



“You… you had thought about that beforehand, di’n't you?”



“I… ahhh… yeah, I… I guess I did.” He took a gulp from his glass. He had been stupid if not insane that night.



“We drank a little before going up to my room.”



“Yeah, we did.” He had a few beers and gave her some wine, at least a couple glasses. He had planned that, had planned it all but had never really admitted that to himself until this moment.



“It was only like 9 o’clock, but… I had on my mens tank undershirt and… and just panties and you had on your… those black, light cotton parachute pants you used to wear around the house sometimes, without a shirt. We had both just taken showers.”



“Got those at the Salvation Army store at school. Pants to wear to just relax in, instead of sweats. They were comfortable.” He took a sip of his bourbon wondering why he was thinking about the stupid pants.



“The ‘what if’ was about that girl you told me you had started seeing… Darlene.”



He almost smiled. “Yeah.” Darlene was weird, good looking and hot in a very slutty way, not very pretty when you really gave it some thought, but she had been up for anything sexually. She was the first girl he had assfucked. She had loved it. In fact, it had been her idea. Her ass had been a killer butt too. Not quite as hot as Kyli’s bottom though. Ky was one of the few Asian chicks he had ever seen with an apple ass, a true bubble butt. He had never seen an ass as hot as hers, at least in real life, maybe on chicks in a few porn vids.



“Ted? Do you remember that?”



“Huh?”



“Do you remember telling me you’d want to tie her to the bed, just in case she woke up, in the… in the what if scenario?”



He realized he had zoned out for a few moments with his own memories. “Ahh… yeah… yeah, I guess I recall that.”



“So… so I went upstairs and pulled down the covers on my bed and… and lay down with my eyes closed, like… like all the other times, and my door was closed. And then you came in a few minutes later.”



Ted’s cock was starting to ache from the memories and gazing at Kyli’s smooth, slender legs. He waited for her to continue the story but she stayed silent. He glanced at her profile. She was looking up at the starry sky and lightly chewing her lower lip. He shifted on the cushion once more. “I came in with those old neckties and… that red bandanna I had folded into a blindfold. I put that on you first, saying… saying if she woke up that I’d not want her to know it was me. Something like that.”



“No, you said…” Kyli’s brow pinched for a moment. “You said if she woke up you’d want her to think she was dreaming it… dreaming you were with her in her bed.”



His ass squirmed again. “Oh… yeah, yeah, tha’s right.”



“You had those neckties looped at the ends already, so like they wouldn’t tighten. You moved my arms above my head on the mattress. You put a loop around each of my wrists then fastened the ends of the neckties to the vertical spindle things of the headboard in the center. You then held my ankles and pulled me down the bed making my arms straighten out on the mattress, and… my shirt slid up to my hips. Then you moved a pillow and… and your arm pushed under my lower back and I… I was surprised you could just raise my middle off the bed with one arm. You pu…”



Ted broke in, “Kyli, you hardly weigh anything.” He took a sip of his bourbon. He was getting very nervous about what she was going to say next.



“Well, it surprised me you could lift me like that. You pushed a pillow under my butt, then lowered me onto it. Then you looped neckties around my ankles, and-and spread my legs apart, I guess tying the end of the neckties to the ends of the footboard.”



“Yeah.”



“So, I was lying in… in kind of an upside-down ‘Y’ position on the bed.”



Ted’s ass shifted. He muttered, “Yeah, that’s… that’s what it looked like from the foot of the bed.”



“Then… you turned on the tea lamp on my dresser, I heard the switch click. You came to the bed and sat on the edge. I… I felt your hand lay on the top of my foot, it… your palm felt… warm and… and nice. It… it made me tense and shiver.”



She closed her eyes. She had clenched her pussy at his touch and it had made her shiver both outside and inside. “Your hand started moving up my leg, caressing, almost like a light massage, like… like the other times, but… more on the insides of my legs. That… that made me shiver even more. And when I’d squirm a little you’d… you’d tell me not to move, so… I tried not to, but your hand was making me want to squirm so much it was so difficult not to do it a little.” Just remembering it all, she felt herself getting almost as wet as she had been that night nearly a decade ago.



Ted folded his leg up, his foot flat on the cushion, in order to hide his hand moving to his crotch to adjust his throbbing hard-on once more. He was remembering that night as if it happened yesterday. Kyli was not really bound to the bed, she could have easily gotten out of the necktie loops, but it would have taken some time. He recalled how great the temptation had been to rip her tank shirt and little panties off.



“Your other hand pulled my shirt up to… to just below my boobs and started stroking around my stomach while your other hand moved from… from one leg to the other, mostly on my thighs but… but down to my feet sometimes.”



Ted mumbled, “Your abs were so flat… even concave, your pelvic girdle, by your waist was… was prominent.” He recalled her mons veneris was pronounced too, maybe due to the pillow under her luscious bubble buns.



She glanced at him. “My what?”



Ted’s voice was soft and low, “Your abs… stomach was so flat and smooth… and your… you know, those bones at your waist stuck out which… which I thought was hot… attractive. You didn’t seem to have an ounce of fat on you, but you had all these wonderful subtle, soft curves. You… you were, still are, very, very feminine.”





Kyli felt the compliment course through her almost like another tingling shiver, maybe it was because she had pressed her thighs together and clenched her now very wet pussy. Just his low voice made her do that sometimes. She spoke softly, “Thank you.”

“You’re beautiful, Ky. I’m just stating fact.” He took another hefty sip of his drink.



She thought for a few moments before continuing the memory. “Your hands moved to my arms, like… like the other times, you stroked, felt every inch of me that wasn’t covered.” She recalled how his fingers had gotten so close to her pussy and how she had to fight with herself not to finally push or jerk her crotch under his fingers. She recalled she had nearly been panting during it, and then definitely had been a minute or two later. “You… you then massaged me with your face.”



She had felt not only his lips touching her skin, but then his hot, moist breath above her pussy through her cotton panties. She nearly had an orgasm when he reached her hands and reversed course, but instead of just stroking, he started kissing and sometimes the tip of his tongue would draw a wet line on her skin as his face moved. “Then… then when you had your face at the bottom of my pushed up shirt, you pushed it more, right to where my boobs started, your face stroked over my… my covered breasts, then… you got on top of me.”



Ted squirmed on his seat again. “Ahh… I probably shou…”



She interrupted, “You were… hard, weren’t you?”



“Kyli, listen… I’m really sor…”



She broke in again, “Were you? Did you have an… an erection?”



He wasn’t sure what the tone of her voice meant, if anything. “I…” He exhaled. “Yeah. I was hard. Ky, listen, I’m sor…”



She spoke over him again, “Then you kissed my neck while your face moved around and your hands caressed and slowly slid up my arms, and… and…” She closed her eyes at the memory, the utterly erotic and intense sensuality of that moment so long ago. “You… you rubbed your… hardness against me.”



Ted felt overwhelmed with guilt. He glanced at her. Kyli’s eyes were closed. He wondered if she was about to start crying. He cleared his throat and was about to beg her forgiveness when she spoke softly.



“I pushed up as you stroked. I… I had never been so excited… so turned on, Ted. You kept stroking right on my… between my legs and I kept pushing up, over and over again for a few minutes, and then… then you abruptly stopped. I wanted you to keep doing it but… but I was afraid to tell you that. I-I had a boyfriend for a while junior year, and he and I kissed and touched a little, but… that night with you on my bed, I… that was my hottest sexual experience during high school. Maybe… it was the first real sexual experience for me. It-it was my first real experience. Why… why did you stop?”



Ted shifted his ass again. She had to know. “Why do you think?”



“Were… were you close to having an orgasm too?”



He glanced at her. He knew she had been turned on but he didn’t think she had been close to an orgasm. “Were you?”



“Yes… god yes. Couldn’t you tell?”



“Couldn’t you tell I was too?”



Kyli took a deep breath and sighed. She had wondered for eight years why he had stopped, if her getting so close to peaking had grossed him out or something. “I… I was blindfolded.”



Ted almost laughed. He kept it to a grin. “Yeah, Ky… I was very close. That’s why I stopped.”



“But then… you did it again, after you turned me over. Remember? You got my feet out of the loops, then told me to turn onto my tummy, the pillow still under my hips, you re-looped my ankles to the footboard, and… and then you stroked your face and kissed the back of my legs, all the way up to the edge of my panties, then over my buns, and up my back to my neck. That felt so nice around my neck and you pushed your face in my hair, then, and… and then you lay on me again, holding most of your weight off me with your elbows like you had when I was face up, and… and then you stroked your thing against my butt, be-between my buns, and… and I pushed up towards you again, and you… you kissed my neck again while your hands slid on the sheet and held my elbows. You kept stroking, pressing down and I kept pushing up. I heard you breathing so loud and fast and I was too, and-and sometimes I wasn’t sure whose breathing it was.” She wasn’t surprised she remembered every detail.



She took a sip of her drink. “And then… and then, like the very first time, we heard Mom and Dad coming home, and you sprang off the bed and got my feet out of the tie loops while I got my hands out of the loops and took the blindfold off, and then you got the ties off the footboard spindle things while I shoved the others behind the mattress and… and-and then you were gone before I even turned over. You had closed the door behind you really quietly. Then I heard Mom coming up the stairs just as I was getting up to turn off the dresser lamp, so I grabbed some book and switched on the lamp on the bedside table, got under the covers and pretended to be reading when she tapped on my door and opened it.”



He spoke fast, “Kyli, I’m so damn sorry, I… I never should have done any of that. I… I’m sorry.”



“You… you really had… um… an erection?”



“I did, yeah, I’m… I’m sorry. I really am. I-I never should have done any of that.”



“May I… I ask you something about it?”



“Ahh… yeah. What?” He held his breath.



“Did you have an erection because you were thinking of Darlene or… or because you were with me?”



He wondered if lying would be best. He knew he was too wasted to pull off a lie. “I had a… a hard-on… an erection, because I was… with you.”



Kyli had been holding her breath too. She exhaled. “Oh.” She felt relieved after years of wondering now and then.



His gut was still tensed. “Do… do you hate me, Ky?”



“Huh?”



“Do you hate me for that night?”



No. Not at all. Maybe… maybe I’d be mad a little if you had said you had been thinking of Darlene that night.”



He waited a few moments to see if she’d add anything. She didn’t. “I… I was only thinking of you that night.”



“We… we never played that game after that.”



“Yeah, I know.”



“Why?”



Her question surprised him for a couple reasons. “I think you just figured out why.”



They were both silent for over a minute.



Kyli spoke softly, almost a whisper, “You sort of played it another time.”



“Huh? No we didn’t. I… Kyli, come on. I went too far, and… and hell, I knew I couldn’t trus’ myself a next time.”



“I di’n't say we, I said you.” She took a slow breath. Her eyes teared for a moment.



“Huh?”



“A few months later, June or July, Mom and Dad went up to the Bensen’s cottage to spend like a week, maybe ten days… something like that. You and I were home alone, we both had summer jobs, and… and you asked Darlene to come up and visit that weekend, four days actually.”



Ted’s gut tightened but he still didn’t know what she was talking about regarding the ‘game.’ “You… you didn’t like her much.”



“No, I didn’t. That’s… that’s why I went to stay a couple days at Barb’s, then at Lara’s house. I didn’t like her at all, and… you suggested I go and do some sleepover with one of my friends after that first night she was here.”



Ted frowned. He had been so horny that summer. Darlene had gotten him hooked, nearly turning him into a sex addict, even though he knew he’d never fall in love with her, that there wasn’t any chance of the relationship going anywhere. “I was a jerk. Sorry.”



“You were.” She clenched her jaw for a few seconds. “I saw you two… you two playing the game, the game I thought was… was only our game.”



“Huh? No I didn’t.”



“Yeah, you did. I saw you two.”



“Huh? We nev…” He stopped talking, then stopped breathing for a few moments. He mumbled, “Oh… shit.”



“It was that first night I went to stay at Barb’s. I left around 7:00 that evening, then when I got over to her house, I realized I left my cell phone in my room, so… around 8PM I went back home by myself, and… and went up to my room to get it, and-and I… I heard you with Darlene in your bedroom. And then-and then…”



She took a breath as her stomach knotted tighter. She knew she shouldn’t have said anything about it. Was it because she’d had a few drinks? Was it because she was back home, alone with Ted again? Why had she been thinking about it so much since Mom said he was coming in to see them off too?



Ted groaned silently. He knew what she had probably overheard. He and Darlene had tried the bondage thing after spring break when he had used the ties on Ky, and then when she was over for the visit. It had to be that night.



“I saw you and Darlene on your bed. She… she was on your bed, her wrists and ankles tied to the bed, like… like I had been a couple months earlier.”



Oh jeezuz… she fucking saw us! He mumbled again, “Ahhh… crap.” He now remembered he hadn’t closed the bedroom door. There wasn’t any reason to. They had been alone in the house. At least he thought they would be.



“I stood in the hall and… and I saw you-you fucking her and you stopped and turned her over and looped her ankles again and… and you… you did anal with her.” She felt the old anger, jealousy, and tears rising once again. “I… I hated you that night. I-I know I shouldn’t have, but… but I felt you had betrayed me. You-you had her tied up in the upside-down ‘Y’ just like you did with me and… and I thought I had been just a-a practice for you. That-that I was so stupid for thinking you had been as excited as I had gotten the last time we played that stupid game, and… and I know I shouldn’t have been but I was so… so damn angry and hurt about it all.”



He waited a few moments again to see if she had more to say. “I… I’ve never wanted to hurt you, Ky.”



“Well… you did that night or-or, I don’t know, maybe I hurt myself. I… it was all so crazy and I got so-so… so jealous.” She felt like crying just as she did that night on her way back to Barb’s and later that night too. She told herself to get control of her emotions. She quickly wiped her eyes with her fingers. “It’s… that’s why I… I hardly spoke to you for a year.”



He squirmed again. He had noticed it the rest of that summer, she barely spoke to him and never wanted to do anything with him, and the same that following Christmas when they were both home from college. He had always thought it was because of the last time they played ‘what if.’ He wondered if he should tell her the truth. The sober part of his brain was getting pushed aside by the loaded part. “Ky… that night, I…” He stopped speaking, trying to restrain himself. He knew he’d tell her.



“What?” She wiped her nose with the back of her hand.



“It… it was the other way round.”



“Wha’… wha’ does tha’ mean?”



“I was with Darlene but… ahhh… I was… I was like pretending it was you I was with, not… not her.” He shifted his ass again. For the most part, at least some part of it he had been wishing that, not really pretending but as he shoved his cock into Darlene’s nice, tight cunt or her hot, gripping asshole, he’d realize how much he wished it was Kyli with him tied to the bed and they were doing what he was doing with Darlene. His voice was low, nearly a murmur, “I-I wished it was you with me.”



“You’re… you’re lying, you’re jus’ saying that.”



He looked at her. “No. No, it’s not a lie. I… I wished it was you. Ky, it… none of those times we played that stupid game had anything to do with any other girl than you, even… even the very first time.”



He took a breath. “That’s the weird part of you being adopted, I… I always thought of you as my sister, yet… when you got older, or… maybe it was when I got older, I… I sometimes wished you… you weren’t my sister so… so we could do what… so I could be more than a brother to you. But… I never… never wanted to hurt you and-and that last time we played that damn game, it… I-I got out of control, it… I couldn’t fool myself into believing it was just some stupid, teasing game anymore, not after that last time. And what you saw with Darlene, I… I wanted you in my bed not her that night. I’m… I’m sorry… jeezuz, please don’t hate me now. I’m so damn sorry. I just couldn’t help thinking about you like that sometimes. I’m sorry, jus’… please… don’t hate me.”



Kyli knew she felt the opposite. She loved him. She always had. Maybe that was why her marriage hadn’t worked out, maybe it was the main hidden reason, not all the other apparent ones. “I… I don’t hate you at all, Ted.” The air felt electric with emotional and sexual tension. There was silence for a full minute again. “Wha’… wha’ are you thinking?”



Ted was thinking about their last time playing ‘what if.’ He was wondering what might have happened if he had fully given in to his desires. He stopped breathing for a few moments realizing that Mom and Dad would probably have caught them screwing. “Huh?”



“You got… quiet. Wha’ are you thinking about?”



Ted almost smiled. He wondered how many times some chick had asked him that. Some of those times he had been thinking about Kyli while he was with those other girls. “I was thinking ’bout that last time we played and… how much I… I wanted to do what… how much I wanted to make love with you, an’… an’ wondering what might have happened if Mom and Dad hadn’t come home when they did.”



“I’ve wondered tha’… tha’ too.” She had never been so turned on as she had been that night. Maybe that wasn’t true. She thought of her time with Tom for a moment. Yes, it was true.



Another pregnant pause ensued, which turned into an awkward long silence. Kyli broke it. Her voice was very soft, just above a whisper, “I’m going in to… take a shower, after that do… umm… do you wanna play… play ‘what if?’”



Ted couldn’t believe his ears. “Are… are you kiddin’ around?” He didn’t look at his crotch but he bet it was visually throbbing.



“Ne… n-nevermind.” She put her hands on the arms of the chaise to get up. Ted’s hand covered hers. She stopped moving and looked at him in the moonlight.



He was too drunk to debate himself about whether what he wanted and what it seemed Kyli wanted was right, moral, or good. “Ky… yeah, of course I want to. Are… are you sure you want to?”



“Ye… I… Ted…” She took a breath and exhaled slowly. “I’m not sure about anything anymore, but… but I want some answers. I-I want to find out what it would’ve been like tha’ las’ time if… if we weren’t interrupted.” She felt breathless for a few moments at the truth she had just released.



He gave her hand a squeeze. “I think I still have those neckties with the stuff I’ve never taken out of my bedroom closet.”





“Does… does that mean you wanna… play it again?”



“Yeah, but… are you sure?”



Her stomach knotted and she felt a gazillion butterflies alight within her. She whispered breathlessly, “Yes. With… with the neckties?”



His cock leaped in his crotch. He nodded. “Yeah, with them, if they’re still in my room.” He knew they were. He took a slow breath. “I’ll take a shower too, then… then come to your room.”



“All right.”



As he stood he quickly adjusted the bulge in his pants. He grabbed his glass then held out his other hand for Kyli. She took it and rose from the chaise, taking her glass from the little table. They slowly walked to the house. Ted let her hand go as he opened the patio door. He glanced at her ass as she stepped inside. He wanted to rip her clothes off right now, but even half wasted, he wanted to give her a little time to think it over. He followed her in. “Give me your glass. You can start your shower. I’ll make us a couple new drinks before I take mine.”



“I jus’ want ice water, ‘kay?”



“Sure.”



Kyli headed towards the stairs. She almost felt as if she was in a dream. Maybe she was about to do what always had been a dream. She was both scared and very excited. She knew her pussy was still moist. She entered her room closing the door behind her. She recalled how Ted had complained to Mom and Dad that she got the room with the private bathroom when they moved from the old house. The memory made her smile softly and a little less scared.



She had unpacked her suitcase so she went to her old dresser, opened a drawer and pulled out a mens white cotton tank undershirt and a pair of white cotton bikini panties. One of a half dozen different color pairs she had bought on sale at Victoria’s Secret. She lay the garments on the bed and went into the bathroom. She turned on the shower and undressed. The butterflies were still going crazy inside her.



Ted carried the drinks upstairs to his bedroom. He looked for the neckties and found them in the dresser with some other old clothes he hadn’t bothered to take with him. He grinned when he discovered the black cotton parachute pants. He decided he’d wear them to her room. His smile waned. There was no turning back for him about this. He wanted her, had wanted her for years.



He told himself to ask if she was sure again before anything happened. He knew he was half looped and she had to be as drunk he was, even if she had a drink or so less than him. She couldn’t weigh much more than a hundred pounds. He figured she was at most, 5′-3″, about five inches less than his height. He had those inches and at least 45 pounds on her to soak up some of the alcohol. Maybe she was more wasted than he was. He hoped she wasn’t. He didn’t want her to hate him in the morning, or sooner. He’d never be able to deal with that. It would devastate him. She was the only girl he really cared about. The only girl he had ever really loved.



He told himself to stop worrying about it. They were both adults, although he had yet to actually feel like an adult. He undressed and walked across the hall to the bathroom. He recalled how pissed he had been that Ky got the bedroom with the private bath when they moved from the smaller house. He grinned as he turned on the shower.



He brushed his teeth as the water warmed up, then stepped into the shower. He grabbed the shampoo and poured some in his palm. He wondered for a moment if he was thinking way too much with his dick. He told himself again they were adults and they had both wondered about it for years. He wanted her. He had since he was a teenager, yet he didn’t want to lose her as a sister because of his lusty desires. He started shampooing. No, it was much, much more than lust.



Kyli finished with the hair dryer and then put on a tiny bit of makeup. She never wore much. She went into the bedroom. Butterflies were still going crazy as she put on the white panties and white, mens tank undershirt. She checked herself in the dresser mirror and her hands fussed with her hair a little. Her heart was racing. She knew she was a little drunk. She knew that was fuzzing her judgment. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew it was helping her rationalize, and she kept telling herself that neither she nor Ted had said they were going to have sex. Did they? They were just going to play the ‘what if’ game, that’s all. Right?



She turned and walked to her bed. She pulled the comforter down leaving the top sheet in place, then decided to take comforter complete off. She piled it on the upholstered arm chair. She sat on the edge of the bed. She had one of the bedside table lamps on. She could nearly hear her heart beating. She glanced at the bedside table drawer and her heart rate quickened for a few moments. She wondered if she should lie down and pretend to be asleep as she used to. She felt nervous, then realized it was excitement, not nervousness. She had wanted this to happen since she was eighteen, maybe before that if she really thought about it. She heard a couple light knocks on her door. More butterflies alighted in the already crowded space within her. She felt breathless again for a moment. “Come in.”

Ted had the neckties on his wrist and both glasses palmed in one hand. He opened the door and then switched one glass to his other hand.



“Oh… I forgot about the drinks.” She started to stand.



“Sit… I’ve got ‘em.”



The corner of her mouth curved. “You still have the parachute pants.” She also saw he had an erection. Once more she felt breathless for a moment. “Could… could I have a drink?” She held out her hand.



“Sure.” He gave her the glass of ice water. He set his bourbon rocks on the bedside table then removed the neckties from his wrist and tossed them on the mattress near the foot of the bed. He picked up his glass and took a gulp then set it down. Kyli was taking little sips of water. She looked beautiful and hot and he knew he’d always want her. He had wanted her for years. She looked at him and held out her glass.



“Would you put this on the…”



He interrupted, “Yeah.” He took her glass and set it on the table. His eyes met hers. She seemed scared. He sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. He stroked his face into her hair. He spoke softly, “Sure you want to play ‘what if?’”



Kyli was yet again feeling breathless. She nodded slightly and spoke softly, “Yes. Do… do you?” She felt his lips at her ear, heard and felt his warm breath as he spoke low and softly. It made her pussy clench and sent a thrill coursing through her.



“Ky, I’ve wanted to do this for years.”



“M-me too.”



He kissed her head. “If you want to stop, at anytime, just tell me.”



“All right. You… you too.”



“Tonight is… about you, not any other girl. Ky, it was never about any other girl.”



Another thrill coursed through her. “It’s… about both of us.”



“Yeah, I guess it is.” He stroked his face in her fragrant hair. He continued speaking softly, “Ready?” He felt her nod. “I’d come into your room, just like this and now I’m just going to talk to you directly, not describe it, okay?” Again she nodded against his face. “It’s never been about any other girl, Ky, it was always about you, about what I wanted to do with you. It was… about what I felt and feel towards you too.”



She trembled with excitement. “I… I’ve always hope that so much.”



He dipped his head more and kissed her cheek. “Now… just lay back.”



“Don’t you… don’t you want me in the upside-down ‘Y?’”



“Not yet, jus’ lay back across the bed.” As she started to recline he stood up and went to end of the bed. He picked up two neckties and moved around to the other side of the bed. “Stretch your arms over your head on the mattress.” He watched her slender arms slide towards him. He slipped the loop of one necktie on her left wrist, then did the same to her other wrist with the second tie. Her arms weren’t as straight as he wanted but that wasn’t necessary yet. He crouched down and shoved the tie tails between the mattress and the box springs. He knew from other experiences that it would hold her well enough. It was about teasing, not bondage. His cock was throbbing with excitement.



He stood up and leaned forward. His palms cupped the sides of her pretty face. A small smile appeared on his mouth. “You look beautiful even upside-down.”



Maybe it was the alcohol or her nervousness but she giggled and said, “You look funny upside-down.” She saw his warm smile disappear and instantly regretted saying it. “I’ve always liked the way you look. Whichever way you are.”



He thought her little joke was saying something more. “Ky?” He pulled his hands away and sat on the edge of the bed so he could look at her right side up. “Are you sure y…”



She interrupted, “Ted, I… I want this to happen.”



His left hand went to her face again, cupping her cheek. “You really are beautiful.” He leaned down and kissed her lips softly. Her mouth opened more, their tongues touched, tentatively caressing at first, and then began a slow, oral erotic dance. The kiss quickly became more ardent. Ted shifted away from her, straightening his torso so he could lean down more comfortably. His hand moved from her face and slid up along the length of her arm. It seemed to cause Ky’s mouth to open wider and the kiss grew even more passionate.



He started moving again, turning his face perpendicular to Kyli’s as he slid off the bed, finally on his knees. His face turned more so it was nearly upside-down to hers once again. His hand slid down her arm, then both hands coursed down to her hips. A moment later he broke the kiss. He hoped she wouldn’t giggle at seeing his face upside-down again. He started working the mens tank undershirt up her body.



Kyli arched her back to help. She closed her eyes, worried he’d pull it up past her breasts, equally worried that he wouldn’t. Had he told the truth about liking her small boobs? Darlene hadn’t had big breasts but she recalled they were larger than her own. She felt the thin fabric tugged passed her fleshy mounds. She would have held her breath but she was so aroused already her breathing was ragged. Her body tensed slightly.



Ted stopped working her shirt up and stared at her breasts for a few moments. They were on the small size but looked firm, and were topped with raspberry shaped nipples that were now taut. They were like the rest of her, very feminine, not brassy, and so inviting. He tugged her shirt up higher nearly to her neck. His hands slid to the sides of her chest, then up to her breasts, cupping her pliant mounds, feeling their firmness. It may have been his imagination but it seemed her nipples grew a little larger, more turgid. He spoke softly, just above a whisper, “Ky, you’re so beautiful.”



He watched his thumbs stroke over her pink-tan nubs. He leaned down making sure his chest didn’t press against her face. He kissed both breasts a few times then lightly sucked her left nipple. Kyli arched her back a little and he sucked more intensely. She let a soft moan escape and her back arched more. He sucked harder as his tongue rubbed her erect raspberry.



“Mmmhh,” Kyli murmured. She felt her nipple released and then Ted smeared his face over her yielding mounds a few times. He took her other nipple into his mouth. He sucked it harder than the other one and his tongue was more frenetic. Her breathing quickened. She shut her eyes again and wished he’d give her just a few nipping bites.



As she was trying to decide whether or not to ask him, his face stroked over her boobs again, then he straightened up. His hands moved to her bunched up shirt and started working it up again. She twisted back and forth to help as he gathered it and got it over her head. He pulled it down her arms, passed her hands down to the ties. He kissed her again as his left hand caressed her breasts. His tongue was ravenous, so was her own. The oral dance was even more frenzied than a few moments earlier.



Ted’s hand cupped her right breast, then his thumb and index finger clamped her taut nipple, not harshly but firmly.



Kyli felt his digits holding her nipple. “Mmmh,” she moaned into his mouth. Her back arched a little.



Ted’s thumb and finger tightened a little more and he tentatively tugged her erect nub.



Kyli exhaled sharply into his mouth as her back arched more. “Mmh.”



He moved on his knees, his mouth turning on hers. His hand moved from her right breast to her left. His other hand slid onto her right mound. He clamped both her nipples lightly again, rolling, twisting, and tugging each slightly. Kyli’s exhaled sharply into his mouth once more. Her own mouth opened wider. Their tongues danced wildly for a minute then she abruptly turned her head to the side breaking the kiss. She gasped quick breaths.



Kyli murmured, “Oh… oh god… Ted.”



His hands caressed her breasts as he shifted more on his knees then sat back on his legs. He kissed her shoulder then her face and neck. He kissed her other shoulder and that side of her neck, then kissed her ear. He spoke breathlessly, “I want you so much, Ky.”



“Yessss,” she spoke between breaths, “I want you… too… oh… oh, Ted.”



“I need to taste you.”



“Ohhh… yesss.” She wasn’t exactly sure what he meant but hoped she did.



He smeared his face in her hair as his hands left her firm breasts. He quickly stood and moved to the other side of the queen size bed. He leaned forward, his eyes locked with Kyli’s as his hands cupped the backs of her knees. He drew her towards him so her hips were right at the edge of the mattress. He watched her arms straighten on the sheet on the other side of the bed. He lowered her feet to the carpeting, her legs together, bending at the knee, her thighs off the bed. He knelt in front of her legs. His hands went to hips, then his face lowered to her thighs. He kissed her warm, smooth skin beginning an upward journey.



Kyli raised her head and looked at him. Ted met her eyes. She saw desire, even lust, and hopefully love in them. Her heart and breathing increased tempo. She saw his face dip forward and just as in the past, her pussy tensed as his face began stroking over both thighs. Her head got heavy. She let it flop back on the sheet. She murmured, “Mmm… oh god.”



She felt his hands slide from her hips to the waistband of her cotton, very brief bikini panties. Her pussy and anus tensed even more when she felt his fingers curl under the elastic waistband and began slowly pulling them down. It was going to happen. All the nighttime dreams, all the daydreams, it was finally going to happen. She whispered between breaths, “Oh… ohgod… oh… Ted.” She raised her bottom slightly to assist him. She shut her eyes when the little garment slid passed her pussy. She wondered if she should have shaved her muff. She bet Ted would have liked that. It was too late to worry about it now. She felt his hands stop.



Ted gazed at her pussy. Her pubic hair wasn’t thick nor was it sparse. As if combed, it angled towards her thin labia which looked pink and slightly puffy but hadn’t opened, maybe because he had her legs together. He kissed the small bush. He spoke softly, “Ky… I have to say this again… you’re beautiful.”



Kyli raised her head again. His eyes met hers. A little smile formed on his mouth and her eyes teared slightly. She blushed, closed her eyes and let her head flop down again. She released a soft and brief giggle, then went back to taking fast breaths.



Ted really wanted to taste her. He quickly finished the task of getting her panties off, then without any delay, his hands cupped behind her knees. He raised and folded her legs up and back. Her knees were spread wider than her body very close to her rising and falling breasts. He gazed at her muff. As if she did it on purpose, her labia opened. He stopped breathing for a moment. Her pussy looked exactly as he thought it would. Pink, thin, delicate major lips, inner lips pinker and he could see them glisten in the soft light. She was moist. His mouth actually salivated. He whispered, “Ky… it’s like a beautiful flower.”



His face descended. His tongue lapped slowly upward and separated her petals more. She was warm, fresh, and already slippery. He savored her flavor with two more slow, broad strokes. His eyes were closed as he tried to memorize her taste and the first oral touch on her sex. His lips and tongue then concentrated on her clit. He could feel it taut under it thin pink hood. He teased it out from under it.



Kyli’s eyes shut tight at the intense waves of delight emanating from between her legs. She had been licked before but for some reason this was a hundred times more exciting than any other experience. She didn’t hold back, her hips swayed and she tried to push her pussy towards her mouth. Abruptly his tongue wiggled between her pink folds entering her, then began squirming, lapping, swirling within her. “Oh! Oh… gahhhhhd.” Her hips churned more intensely.



She tasted wonderful, so fresh, there really wasn’t a flavor. He sucked her delicate labs into his mouth and rubbed them with his tongue and nibbled with his lips.



Kyli raised her head, he was doing something she had never felt before. His eyes met hers. She realized he had sucked her labia into his mouth. Her head flopped back. “Oh-h-h-h.” She trembled. His mouth was pushing her pussy lips out then sucking them in over and over again, while his tongue never stopped flickering or stroking. No, she had never experienced this before. She felt herself already starting to rise towards her peak. Her body started trembling.



He lapped her slit a few times glad and amazed at how wet she was. His lips returned to her pink pearl, sucking gently as his tongue tip flickered on the little nub. He heard a soft whimper from Ky. He was looking towards her breasts, heaving now as her hips swayed and her pussy pushed against his mouth. He wished she’d raise her head again. He wanted to look into her beautiful eyes as he began firmly stroking and pushing her little jewel. Instead he heard another whimpering moan and her neck arched. She started trembling constantly.



He abruptly plunged his tongue into her wet warmth, swirling it around within her, trying to push in deeper, so much so that his lower teeth rasped against the root of his tongue. He concentrated on her pink pearl again, sucking gently, rubbing it, pushing it, stroking crazily on it. Her trembling intensified. It made him increase his oral efforts. He wanted her to reach orgasm on his mouth, on his tongue. He pushed her clit to one side and let it slide back under the tip of his tongue. Kyli twitched. It did it again to the other side, the elasticity of her pearl pulling it back under his tongue tip once more. She twitched harder.



“Oh… Ted.” Kyli nearly yelped.



For the next few minutes, his tongue became even more ravenous on her turgid clit, diddling, stroking, rubbing it almost as if he was trying to erase it. His throat muscles and tongue were tired, but as her trembling turned twitchy, he knew he’d keep going until she peaked. Her hips began squirming even more. He pushed her legs farther down, her knees almost to her shoulders which raised her hips slightly.



Kyli started shaking. “Tehhhh-h-d. Ohhhhh… ohhhhh… mmmmhh-h-h.” She felt herself on the threshold of not only orgasm but of losing control of her body. It scared her a little. She had never felt that before. “Mmmhhhh-h-h-h,” she whimpered.



He abruptly stopped rubbing her clit, pushed his tongue into her pussy, swirling it around a half dozen times, then did something else he had dreamed about for years. He pulled his tongue out, broadened it, then slid it down to her hot little orifice, laving it, rubbing circles on and over her anal pore as firmly as he had her pink pearl.



“Ted! Oh… OH!” Kyli peaked at the unique sensation of his tongue on her anus. She felt her wrists strain against the tie loops and that too heightened her thrills. His tongue slid up between her glistening labia and once again wildly rubbed her shivering clit. “Mmmm…. oh gahhd… Ted!”



Kyli twisted and jerked, and was shaking and twitching as wave after wave of orgasmic delight coursed through her. It felt like every cell of her body was shivering and tingling. She could feel her vaginal canal convulsing as much as her body, her anus seemed to be doing the same thing. Ted’s tongue just kept going, rubbing her clit, pushing into her sex, laving over her anus. Oh god…. he’s so good… so good to me. The twitches of her body grew more intense, almost like electric shocks were making various muscles flex.



Ted ran his wet, tired tongue up through her thin, glistening pussy lips to her pearl once more. He sucked it gently as his tongue flickered, pushed, and rubbed the turgid nub. He watched Kyli arch her back while still shaking, her firm, somewhat pointed breasts wobbled slightly.



“Oh… god… stop… stop, Ted… stop-stop-stop… it’s… too… too good… too much.”



He pushed his tongue into her weeping channel one more time. He wished he could stick it deeper inside her, reach all the way to her cervix with it. Her twitching and jerking slowed and lessened in intensity. He pulled his tongue out, kissed her labs, kissed her clit, then smeared his face on her pussy, feeling the slipperiness of it, the warmth, and the wet, fine, pubic hair surrounding it. He was breathing hard, almost as raggedly as Kyli. He swallowed. “Ky… god… you’re beautiful… I’ve wanted to taste you for so long.”



He smeared his face into her again, getting her dew and her scent on him, marking himself with it. It made her body twitch hard a couple times. He let her legs fold down over his shoulders. His hands slid to the sides of her chest. He gave her slit another kiss then turned his face and rested his profile on her mons veneris, sucking breaths as fast as she was.



It took Kyli a couple minutes to catch her breath and gather her wits. “Ted… come up here, please kiss me, then… I want you in my mouth. I wanna suck you.”



Ted swallowed. “Yeah… kiss, but… I need to be inside you, Ky. Now.” He took a quick deep breath, then slid down and back so her legs slipped off his shoulders. He got up quickly and walked around the bed. He knelt as before and kissed Ky from the side. His tired tongue danced with her ardent one. He almost smiled about how achy his throat muscles were. He had wanted to lick her pussy to orgasm for years. His left hand caressed her breast while his right pulled each of the necktie tails out from under the mattress. Her tank shirt fell to the floor.



As soon as her hands were free, they were on him. One on the back of his head as the kiss continued, the other stroking his hairy chest with the backs of her fingers. Their mouths and tongues finally slowed, then parted. Ted gave her neck and face a few moist kisses before he stood up. They were both still gasping breaths.



When he rose to his feet, Kyli, nearly cat-like, quickly flipped over on the bed, drew her legs forward, folding them under herself as she leaned towards him. Her left hand grabbed the waist of his black pants, then her right hand hurriedly opened the button and yanked down the zipper. The baggy, lightweight pants fell to the floor. She blinked. “Ted… you’re… you’re so big.” She didn’t wait a moment longer. Her delicate hand gripped the base of his throbbing member as his feet stepped out of the puddled pants. She noted the tips of her fingers weren’t able to reach her thumb. Her fingertips had always touched her thumb with Raymond, and just about touched when she held her other two boyfriends.



Ted knew he didn’t have some porn star dick. It was average, maybe a little thicker than average according to a couple chicks. “Ky, it’s not…” She engulfed the deep red head, sucking it as her tongue swirled around the glans. “Urrrrrhh… jeezuz.” For a moment he wondered how big… how small Ray’s dick had been. Same for her earlier boyfriends.



Kyli’s hand started moving on his staff. She had decided years ago in a daydream, that if she ever did oral on Ted she’d swallow for him. She made sure her teeth didn’t touch him as her head started bobbing slowly, the tight “O” of her lips sliding down and up about a third of his length. She never had to open her mouth this wide before. He was really thick. She started wondering what it would feel like in her pussy. Her hand started moving, stroking up to meet her descending lips. She sucked a little harder, making her cheeks concave, the slippery insides pressing against his manhood.



“Urhhh… jeez… Ky… that’s good.” He was glad he was half looped, if he wasn’t he knew he’d be shooting his wad already. “Ky… mmmmh… Ky… I wanna be… inside you. I wan’ us making love.” He inhaled a few quick, deeper breaths. “Now… c’mon.”



She sucked harder and jerked her head back. Pop! She gasped breaths as her tongue laved around the large helmet. She pulled her tongue back and spoke between breaths. “I wan’ you to reach… orgasm.” She flickered her tongue on the tip for a few seconds. “In my mouth. I… I wanna feel you cuming… I wanna do that for you.” She took his cock into her mouth again. Her head resumed bobbing, her lips sliding down meeting her up stroking hand.

“Ky… no… not your mouth.” She was making it very difficult to pull away from her lips. It felt wonderful. “Ky… c’mon… ahhhhh…. urrmmmh.” He was starting to feel the urge. He jerked his hips back. Pop! His cock exited her mouth.



“Ted… no… I wanna… you gave me an orgasm. Please let me d…”



He went to his knees and cupped her face. His mouth met hers. Their tongues danced passionately again. He pulled his face back, breathing heavily. “Ky… I need to be inside you. Now.”



“You’ll be inside my mouth. I want to make you feel good firs’ with my mouth.”



He smiled as he gave her lips a kiss, then her cheek and neck. He chuckled as he stroked his face into her fragrant, dark hair.



“Wha’s so funny?”



“You made me feel fantastic, that’s why I want to be inside you, want to make love with you.”



Kyli was nearly panting her breaths too. “‘kay. Are you gonna put the ties on my ankles first? And tie the ones on my wrist to the headboard?”



“I don’t give a damn about the ties. I need to be inside you, Ky. Now… right now.”



“Yeah… me too… oh god, I want you so much, but tie me… tie me firs’. I-I wan’ you to do it like you did it to her that night I watched. Please…. please, Ted. Tie me. Tie me like you did her. I-I need it to be that way. Please… please.”



She moved on the bed to the center, turned on her back, then stretched her arms over her head on the mattress, the tails of the ties dragged on the sheet. Her fingers were just shy of the vertical square spindles of the headboard. “My… my ankles too. Jus’… jus’ like that night we did it senior year.”



Ted moved quickly to the head of the bed. He looped the tie tail about the vertical spindle, tied it with one knot tightly, then did the other one on the neighboring spindle. Her fingertips were a few inches from the headboard. As he had so many years ago, he raised her with an arm under her lower back, and slid a pillow under her ass. He then hurriedly moved off the bed, picked up two looped neckties. He put one on her left ankle, then another on her right one. Her pulled her legs down towards the foot of the bed making her arms stretch a little straighter. He angled her right leg first, spreading it, then tied the tail to a footboard spindle. He did the same to her left leg.



He stood and looked at her for a few moments. She was in the upside-down “Y.” Her eyes were intensely gazing into his. His view drifted down her slender body. Her breasts were rising and falling with every breath she took. He had never seen any woman look so feminine, so beautiful, nor so incredibly hot. He realized he could do anything to her tied like this, and knew she realized it too. That in itself was such a gift, an incredible gift of trust and love. This wasn’t anything like it had been with Darlene or any other girl for that matter. He loved Kyli, he really did love her. This was a dream becoming reality. Even though he was aching to be inside her, he had to ask her one more time.



He sat on the bed near her hip. He watched his hand settle on her smooth thigh and slowly slide up towards her pussy, then onto her flat abdomen to the far side of her waist. “Ky, I want us to make love, but… we’re both a li’l drunk, so I have to ask once more. Are you sure you want us to do this?”



Kyli’s breathing had quickened as he had tied her legs to the bed. “Yes. I’ve wannid to… for a long time. A very long time.” She remembered how much she had wanted it that last time playing ‘what if.’



His hand coursed up to her breasts, caressing them as he leaned down, his lips met hers, her mouth opened, his tongue slid in to meet hers. His thumb stroked over one taut nipple then the other as their erotic oral dance gained intensity.



The kiss lasted two minutes and when their mouths parted they each were breathing heavily. Ted’s hand became more urgent at her fleshy mounds, his thumb and index finger holding, then lightly tugging her turgid nipples. His other hand stroked up and down her stretched straight arm, as Kyli’s neck arched to receive a necklace of warm, moist, breathy kisses.



His mouth moved lower, his right hand holding her breast, his mouth surrounding her nipple, sucking it, nibbling it with his lips, then his tongue flickering and rubbing the pink nub. More kisses laterally marking a moist path to her other mound, finding her left nipple, sucking again, tongue rubbing, then sucking more intensely.



Kyli was nearly panting. She whispered between breaths, “Harder… harder.”



Ted heard her. His suction increased, pulling her nipple into his mouth, stretching it and some of her pliant flesh, his tongue wildly attending it. His hand slid down her torso, his palm coursing over her slightly pronounced mons then it turned and his middle and ring fingertips felt her awakened clitoris. He started rubbing it, side to side, circles over it, then pushing it to one side then the other allowing its elasticity to pull itself back to its centerline. Kyli twitched each time he did that. He liked that response.



Ky pushed up with her hips. She murmured, “Mmhhhh… urrh, Ted.” She couldn’t believe how quickly she was heading towards her peak. She felt her other nipple sucked again, harder than the first time, little light nipping bites around her aureole. “Mmmmh… mmmh.” His lips moved back to her neck, more kisses. His fingers rubbed her clit faster, more firmly. “Oh… oh-h-h-h.” She shook with pleasure for a moment, then strained against her restraints to raise her pussy to his hand. His face pushed against her profile, stroking through her hair. A moment later his mouth was on hers again. Another impassioned, urgent, tongue dancing kiss. She felt his middle finger slide into her slippery, drooling channel. Automatically her pussy clenched around the probing, undulating, curling digit. “Ummhhh.”



Ted felt how incredibly tight she was. It made his cock lurch at the thought of how good it would feel surrounding his prick. His finger slipped from her vaginal clutches as he started moving his body atop hers. He broke the kiss, Ky’s little tongue poking out of her mouth as if she hadn’t wanted it to end quite yet. He gave her neck another necklace of kisses. His elbows held most of his weight off her chest, as his hands cupped and slid from her biceps to her elbows. His hips lowered and he stroked the length of his cock through her labia and over her turgid clit. Kyli strained to push up against his sliding hardness. Ted felt her body shiver again. He gave her cheek a kiss and gazed into her sparkling dark eyes.



Ted asked hurriedly, “Are you on the pill?” He wanted to ravage her. He had dreamed of this moment. Yet, he wanted to show her how much he loved her too. He was afraid he’d not be able to hold back. He wanted to screw her until they were both exhausted and satiated. Love and lust were one inside him. “I don’t have any condoms.”



Her desire overpowered her caution and Kyli lied quickly, “Yes… don’t… don’t worry. I wanna feel you inside me naked.” She remembered watching him with Darlene. “I want… I want you to show me… show me how crazy I’ve made you. Ted… I want you so much. Ohgod… I want you so much.”



She closed her eyes and pushed her hips up, her bottom clenching tight, as the length of Ted’s thick, hard cock slid against her clit again. She murmured, “Mmmhhh… oh… mmmh.”



Without thinking she tried to put her arms around his shoulders but she was instantly stopped by the ties. A extra thrill coursed through her as she again realized she was bound to the bed, that Ted could do anything he wanted to her. He firmly stroked his cock up between her slippery labs and over her clit another half dozen times as his mouth devoured her small breasts. When he sucked her taut nipples she tried to arch her back to present them better but sometimes got confused because she tried to push her pubis up to meet a new stroke of his thick manhood simultaneously. “Mmmm…. arrrrrhh.” Her breaths grew quicker and more ragged.



His hands moved closer to her wrists, making his chest lower a little more to hers. He could still hold his weight off her. Her pussy was very wet. He was teasing her with the strokes, teasing himself too. He had fantasized about this moment for so long that he wanted to savor it. Kyli wanted him inside her. It had never seemed possible it would happen until an hour or so ago.



Ted held her arms a little tighter. He slid his thick, throbbing cock against her slit and over her clit one more time, then stroked down again. His hips swayed as the tip of his member found her opening. He nudged just a fraction of the head inside her channel. Kyli’s neck arched pushing the back of her head into the mattress. Her breasts rose and fell faster as her already shallow breathing quickened. He pulled back. Her hips squirmed wildly. Her neck arched collapsed and she raised her head.



“Don’t tease… Ted… don’t tease. Push in… please push in. I want you so much.” Her head dropped to the mattress.



He started to work his cock into her hugging, wet warmth, an inch in, pulling back, swaying his hips, pushing in a little more, back, swaying, pushing in a little more. She felt perfect around him, tight, satiny sleek, slippery, warm. Perfect. He kept up the routine until he was a fraction short of being fully engulfed. Just as he was about to pull back, Kyli’s hips jerked towards him taking the last fraction of his cock into her. “Urrh,” he grunted.



“Oh!” Kyli yelped when the firm yet spongy head rammed her cervix. Her neck arched again as Ted bore down grinding his manhood into her, his pubic bone mashing against her clit. “Oh-h-h-h… gahhhhd… mmmmhh.” Kyli’s hips squirmed as she strained to push towards him, her neck arched, forcing the back of her head into the mattress again. She felt him pull back. He thrust into her hard. Her body lurched as her pussy was instantly filled, the spongy firm head butting her cervix. “Oh!” He retracted and thrust in again even harder. “Oh!” She lurched again and felt the tie loops straining around her ankles, holding her in place until he retracted. He thrust in again, again, again, again. Her voice trembled as much as her body, “Oh-h… oh-h… y-yes… yes!”



The grip of the tie loops at her ankles added to her thrills, somehow heightening her pleasure. She was fully giving herself to him. She realized she had never done that before with any guy. She wanted to know, to see, to feel his desire for her, his lust for her, and the intensity of what she hoped was love too. She felt his hands grip her arms tighter. It also added to her thrills. She truly was giving herself fully to him. Being tied to the bed, he really could do anything to her he wanted and she wanted him to know that. He thrust deep again and kept pushing. She felt the strain of the loops around her ankles again. His hips swayed, grinding his thick cock inside her and his hairy groin smooshed and rubbed her shivering clit. She moaned, “Mmmmm…. mmmhhh.”



He spoke through gasping breaths. “Am I… being… too rough.”





“No… no… I like it… I want you to… to be. Show me… show me how much you want me.”



Ted knew if they hadn’t been drinking they’d not be in Kyli’s room. He half wished he was completely sober so he would remember every single moment with crystal clarity, the other half of him was glad he was half in the bag. He had more control over his dick and when he’d cum. It was always like that when he had a few drinks, of course if he was really wasted he had trouble staying hard. It seemed he was at the perfect level of inebriation. He wanted to make love and lust with Kyli for hours. He didn’t acknowledge it but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew this might be the one and only time they’d be together like this. He wanted it to be the best for Kyli, never to be topped. He wanted that for himself too. He pulled his cock back within her cozy channel and rammed into her again.



Her body lurched again from the force of his thrust. She felt the tie loops tug at her ankles yet again. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. This is what she had needed, had wanted, had desired, not just the intensity, but that she was with Ted. Between gasps of breaths, she exhaled whispers, “Harder… harder, Ted… show me… show me… how much… how much you… you want me… n-need me.”



There was a part of him that wanted to be slow, deliberate, and very intimate and loving, but he had waited too long, had dreamed too long about this, and it seemed Ky felt the same way. His ass reared back again and he started pistoning his throbbing cock into her weeping channel.



Again Kyli’s neck arched and she tried to meet each of his thrusts. “OH! Ohhhh.. oh yes… yes!” She kept trying as best she could to thrust up and meet each plunge of his thick manhood. He was giving her what she had dreamed of, had needed for years. This was exactly the way she imagined it would be and the thrills were even better than she had hoped. She wanted to shout but it came out as a breathless whisper, “Oh gahhd… oh Ted… I… I love you… oh god I love you.”



Ted slowed, but each thrust was just as forceful as before. He was gasping his breaths. He planted breathy kisses around her neck, then her breasts. He wanted to move her into a dozen different positions but it seemed she wanted it just like they were. His mouth began to devour her pliant mounts, sucking her nipples, giving her felt quick nipping bites, Ky’s body lurching with every thrust, her back arching presenting her breasts to his mouth, her hips squirming and trying to jerk towards each plunge of his throbbing prick. He started staying deep after each thrust, grinding his pubis into hers, swaying his thick cock within her snug, hugging, slippery channel.



Ky’s neck arched again driving the back of her head into the mattress. His pubic bone was mashing and grinding against her clit and she knew she was on the verge of another orgasm. “Yes… more… more!”



Ted thought she meant thrusting. His cock started pistoning again. He gasped out his words, “I… can’t… last…. much longer.”



“Yes… yes… cum… cum in me… Ted… oh… oh Ted!” She felt him plunge deep and start grinding again. “Yes! That! THAT!” She felt the stain of the tie loops around her ankles. Kyli’s neck, then her back arched yet again. She held her breath, then shouted, “URRH! YES!” Kyli’s body went out of her control, she virtually went into convulsions, her limbs jerking against her restraints. It scared her for a few moments, but the orgasmic waves coursing through her overwhelmed her fears.



Just as she thought it couldn’t feel more intense, Ted pulled back and plunged once more. He grinded savagely into her, his hands tightened even more on her arms, his face coursed through her hair and against her head. Her orgasmic waves intensified, then his body stiffened, his cock expanded slightly and then she felt the gush of viscous liquid heat spew deep within her quivering channel as he loudly grunted like an animal.



“Oh Ted!” Whatever control she had over her body vanished. She no longer knew where her body stopped and Ted’s began. It felt like they were melting into each other. She had never sensed that before with any guy. She wanted to laugh and scream and cry simultaneously. All she could muster was a whimpering, “Oh baby… oh Ted… oh… oh.”



As his body jerked with the last pump of his hot cream into her depths, Ted started gasping his breaths again. He lessened his grip on Kyli’s arms, he used his elbows to lift more of his weight off her rising and falling chest. He stroked his face into her fragrant hair, sometimes accidentally inhaling strands of it into his mouth before blowing them out with another rushed gasp of breath. He wondered if he had ever cum so hard. He wanted to chuckle just from the relief he felt, but he was too breathless. He swallowed and kept taking fast deep breaths. He swallowed again and spoke softly, “Are… are you okay, Ky?”



Kyli was still trembling. She closed her eyes and giggled softly. “Yes… oh god yes.”



He pushed himself up higher on his elbows and looked into her eyes. She was smiling, huffing breaths as fast as he was. He kissed her cheek, then gave her lips a quick one. He gazed into her beautiful, dark, almond eyes. They were tearing but her mouth was still smiling. Her hair was mussed and sexy. His right hand moved off her arm and his fingertips combed her hair behind her ear. He took a deep breath. “Ky… I love you. I’ve loved for years.” He saw her eyes tear more.



“I love you too… so much… so much.”



He kissed her again, it was an intimate, loving caress. It wasn’t lengthy. They were both still breathing too hard and fast for it to be longer. He pulled his face up. He was grinning. Kyli giggled softly. He looked at the headboard. His hands slid up to her wrists, making his chest lower to hers. She started breathlessly giggling again.



“I… I… I can’t… breathe.” She laughed harder.



Ted grinned as he quickly freed one hand, then her other. He pushed up on his elbows again as her arms encircled his neck and she hugged him fiercely.



“Oh gahhd… Ted. That’s… you’ve… it’s… it’s never… never been like this.”



He pulled his head up as his palms cupped her face. “Me too, Ky. It’s never been like this.” He gave her lips a kiss. “I love you.”



“I love you so much.”



“Want your ankles free?”



Kyli nodded. “Uh-huh, but… I don’t want you to move.”



He looked into her eyes for a few silent moments. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?”



She saw concern. Some of it had been painful but she loved that part too. It made her feel a little animalistic. “No, not at all, not… not for this time. You were perfect, just what I wanted… needed.” She blinked. “Was… was I okay for you?”



He grinned and then released a soft chuckled. “Better than perfect.” His spine arched up and he dipped his head to give her breasts a few playful kisses, and quick sucking ones on her nipples. He looked into her eyes again. She was still smiling but not as widely as before. “God… you got nice tits.”



“Shut up. Don’ call ‘em that.”



“Wha’d'ya want me to call ‘em? Have you named them?” He gave her a crooked smile.



She rolled her eyes. “Call ‘em boobs. They’re my boobs.”



His smile waned. His eyes teared a little.



Her smile disappeared. “What?”



“I… I really have wanted to make love with you for years.”



“I wanted to be with you for years too. I…” Her eyes welled again. “I love you. I’ve loved you for so long.”



He tenderly kissed her lips, then looked into her eyes again. “How ’bout I take the ties off your ankles?”



Her throat was constricted with emotion so she just nodded. Ted gave her lips another tender, albeit quick kiss, then he moved off her body and her arms slid off his shoulders. She watched him work the loops down and passed her toes on both feet. She wiggled to the side slightly, then fluffed a pillow for Ted, and moved the one that had been under her bottom to the side.



Ted lay next to her. He put his arm out. Kyli turned on her side and put her head on his shoulder. Her slender leg folded slightly and slid onto his thigh. Her hand stroked across his hairy chest a couple times, then settled on his pectoral. Ted kissed her head as his hand lazily stroked her back. “Are you really okay, Ky?”



She nodded her head against his shoulder. “Uh-huh.” She took a slow breath. “We’re… we’re not going to sleep yet, are we?” Her hand slid down his torso then her fingertip stroked his flaccid cock as if it was petting a small, cute animal.



The corner of Ted’s mouth curved. He spoke softly, “No, not unless you wanna.”



“I don’t wanna go to sleep yet.”



“I’d like us to make love without the stupid ties.”

Kyli bit her lower lip for a moment. “Uh-huh.” She took a slow breath. “I… I thought the ties were… exciting.”



“Yeah… it was.” He kissed her head again. “Like I said, I dreamed about you like that.”



“Me too.” She watched her hand wrap around his soft cock and caress it. It grew a little. “You… made me feel so good with your tongue too. You jus’ kept doing it and doing it.”



“Jeez… I loved that, ‘specially when you kissed me back.”



Even drunk Kyli still blushed. “I… I couldn’t help that.” She saw his cock suddenly grow. She blinked. He really had liked licking her.



Ted grinned. “I wish I had a dollar for every time I thought about licking you, pushing my tongue into you. I could quit teaching and just work on my art.” He chuckled then kissed her head. “Every inch of you is beautiful, Ky.”



She didn’t think she was beautiful, but his words made her feel wonderful. “I… I didn’t wanna stop sucking you. You should’a let me finish. I wannid to finish.”



He smiled. “Finish?”



“I wannid you to cum in my mouth. I… I wannid it to be the firs’ time… I only wannid you to do that.” She watched his cock grow a little more. “I wanna do it now.” She started to move down his chest but Ted’s hand gripped her shoulder and stopped her.



“We have time. I’m thirsty. How about a… a soda, and… I have to go to the john too.”



She kept holding his cock as she twisted around, moving perpendicular to his body. She lay her profile on his upper abdomen and looked at his face. “How come you’re always stopping me?” She raised her eyebrows.



For a moment her facial expression made her look like a teenager. “Jeezuz… I love you, Ky.”



She knew that had nothing to do with her question. Her eyes teared. She released his cock and moved again, sliding onto his body. His arms encompassed her. Her own arms encircled his head on the pillow. Her eyes welled more. Her voice squeaked, “I love you too.”



They kissed tenderly. Their tongues touched, then danced, much slower than the last few french kisses. Ted’s right arm moved down, his hand cupped one cheek of her ass, caressing her flesh, then slid to her other bun and repeated the touch. Kyli’s hips squirmed slightly. His palm stroked across her bottom. She felt his cock burgeoning.



The kiss deepened, became more impassioned, yet still continued the slow tempo. Ky swayed her chest, stroking her small breasts against Ted’s chest. He loved feeling her turgid nipples press against him and slide back and forth. His other hand slid down to her seductive bottom. He cupped her fleshy curves and squeezed a little, feeling their firmness as she clenched. He gripped a little harder and she exhaled a breath into his mouth. Her tongue instantly went wild against his.



Kyli felt his cock growing in earnest. She squirmed her hips and aligned her wet and slightly tender slit against it. Her hips started a rhythm sliding up and down his manhood. She couldn’t believe how wet she was, then realized his gooey seed was drooling out of her onto his cock. She clenched her pussy automatically. She wanted to keep his goo inside, not even sure why she did. He grew more and she started tingling intensely again as her clit slid against his throbbing rod.



Kyli abruptly broke the kiss turning her face to the side, gasping breaths as she lay her head on his shoulder. Her eyes closed as her hips moved sliding her drooling slit and tingling clit up his thick cock. At the tip she didn’t reverse course, but slid off the head. Her hips swayed and she pushed down slightly. She shivered when her clit pressed against the head. She pulled up once more and then pushed back, swaying then wiggling her hips.



It felt good to Ted but his brow pinched. He spoke softly, as her pussy moved up again. “What are you doing?”



“I want you inside me again.”



He almost laughed but it sounded so damn hot to hear Ky say that. He felt her clit against the tip of his prick once more, then her half erotic half cute little hip wiggle. He debated with himself for a moment which he wanted more, to have her do what she was doing, which it seemed she liked too, or help her out. He wanted to be ensconced within her perfect pussy again. “Move up again, a little higher, then wait a second.” He felt her do it. He flexed his abs and cock, it rose an inch or so from his abdomen. “Try now… slowly.”



Ky moved her pussy down, slowly, with a slow sway to her hips. She blinked. His cock wasn’t laying on his stomach any more, it was slightly angled up. The tip nudged between her glistening labia, then the head nudged inside her channel. She was still gasping breaths. “Ohgod… how did y… oh god Ted.” She slid down more, and more of Ted’s wonderful cock entered her, stetching her. “Push, Ted.”



He was nuzzling her neck and stroking his face in her fragrant hair. His hands were cupping and holding the cheeks of her ass. He was enjoying feeling her glutes flex as she swayed, wiggled, and pushed down. He whispered, “You want it, you take it inside. Do it, Ky… take it.”



Kyli didn’t understand why, but his words excited her. She did want it. She did want to take it. Her ragged breathing quickened. He was letting her show him how much she wanted him. He was asking her to show him. She felt an odd erotic rush. Her teeth clenched, then an impish smile appeared on her lips. She jerked her hips back and suddenly half his thick member was expanding her channel. She shoved back again and took the rest of his rigid rod into her channel. She squeezed her pussy as tight as she could around his muscle.



Ted groaned, “Urrrrrrhhhh… god… jeezuz.”



Her teeth still clenched, her breaths hissing through her teeth as her hips started grinding. She turned her face towards his profile. Her mouth was by his ear. Her jaw moved but it was still tight as she rasped out whispered words, “Do you want me to fuck you, Ted? Is that why you said for me to do it by myself? Hmmm? Do you want me to fuck you?”



She blushed at her own words, she had never said anything like that before, but she also grinned for a moment as her hips churned more intensely. She could feel herself on the path to another orgasm, not only with him inside her but as she grinded on him, she was rubbing her clit on his pubis. She had never had a time this exciting with any guy.



Once more Ted almost laughed, but again it was just too hot. There was a smile in the tone of his voice though. “Is this the naughty Kyli you’re showing me?”



It was Ky who laughed softly. “Yeah… the naughty Kyli.”



“The naughty Ky wouldn’t ask, she’d just fuck me.”



She moved her hands to the mattress by his shoulders, then pushed her torso up. She looked down at his eyes. Her hair formed a curtain around their faces. Her hips started jerking forward and back… again… again… again. Ted didn’t move. Her breathing turned more ragged. She shoved back, then grinded. She felt Ted start to mirror her movements. Her body shivered. She shut her eyes tightly. She whispered, “Oh god, Ted.” She pulled forward then when she shoved down again, Ted’s hips thrust upward. “Oh!” The head of his cock rammed into the end of her channel.



Ted spoke breathlessly, “Slide… you legs forward… a little.”



Kyli did as he said, folding her legs up his sides. Her hands moved to his shoulders. His moved to her hips. She began riding his cock, pushing down as he thrust upward. She heard a clap each time their groins met. She shut her eyes tightly. She murmured between breaths, “Oh… oh… oh god.” They kept thrusting at each other.



He gazed at her face, her hair bouncing with every plunge of his cock. “Is… is this too rough?”



“A… li’l… no… ye… I don’t know. Just keep doing it.” She gasped a couple quicker breaths. “Ohgod… Ted… Ted.” All she knew for sure was that it felt right, right and wild and good. Ted suddenly sat up and his arms surrounded her back holding her closely. Her arms encircled his neck. She kept grinding her hips crazily, pushing downward, feeling his length and girth filling her channel. The head of his manhood wasn’t bumping her cervix very often. Her body shuddered and she almost peaked again. She couldn’t believe she was at the threshold of yet another orgasm. It had never been like this with any guy. She felt his hot breath, then his lips on her neck. She tilted her head back to accommodate his kisses.



Ted pushed his face into her fragrant hair. “This feel good?”



“Uh-huh.”



“Let’s slow down a little, okay?”



She had to think for a few moments, she was so close but she wanted to please Ted, make it be what he wanted. She took a few quicker breaths. “‘kay.” Her hip grinding slowed. She felt herself step away from her orgasmic peak. She hugged him tighter as she sensed his legs moving, then he leaned to the side, then the other side. She realized he was sitting back on his folded legs. His hands moved to the sides of her chest.



Ted spoke, “Lean back, Ky.” His hands palmed her back and his torso angled downward, lowering her to the bed.



Kyli loosened her arms at his neck but didn’t remove them until her shoulders pressed into the sheet and Ted arched his back raising his torso to near vertical again. Her arms slid from around his neck and settled on the sheet angled away from her body. Her feet were flat on the mattress, her legs partially folded, her knees up. His inner thighs were pressed against her buns. Her eyes locked with his.



He kept his cock working in and back within her tight, slippery channel. “Nothing we ever do together will be naughty, Ky.”



“I know.”



His open mouth curved slightly. “But it’s hot to think it is.”



Ky smiled softly but also clenched her teeth. She pushed towards him more intensely.



Ted growled, “Urrrrhh… yeah.” He knew if she kept that up, he’d cum sooner than he wanted. He stayed deep for a few moments, then pulled back and looked down at her pussy and his cock sliding back, then into her warmth again. Kyli seemed to want to rest. Her hips slowed their movement. The corner of his mouth curled. He kept staring at her abdomen.



He had seen it on a couple other chicks. He thought it looked really hot. He placed his palm just above her muff. “Put your hand down here. Press down a little.” He moved his hand away.



Kyli moved her right hand and placed it where Ted’s had been on her lower abdomen, her fingertips just touching her dark pubic hair. She watched as Ted slowly pushed his wonderful, thick cock into her. She smiled. “I can feel you moving inside me.”



Ted was watching her hand. “You can see it too.”



“Huh?” She raised her head and moved her hand. She really could see him moving inside her. “Oh god.”



They both watched her lower abdomen as his cock slid into her three more times, then Ted stayed deep as his hands cupped behind Ky’s knees and raised her legs over his shoulders while he leaned forward, forcing her legs to fold back and down. His own stretched out behind him. His hands pushed under her shoulders and cupped over them. His face descended and their mouths met. Kyli’s lips parted and their tongues touched, then danced together. Ted slowly retracted his cock, then slid deep again, staying deep as his hips churned, pressing into Ky more intensely. Her hips mirrored his movements.



Kyli abruptly broke the kiss. She gasped her breaths. “Oh god, Ted… mmmhhh.” She felt his hot breath at her neck then moist kisses. Her neck arched to receive his caresses. She felt his cock slide back then rush into her again. Her body twitched as the bulbous head reached the end of her wet, shivering channel. Again he kept pushing and twisting his hips, his pubic bone pressing and rubbing against her clit. Her jaw clenched again as her neck bridge lowered. She hissed through her teeth, “Yessss… yessss.”



Ted’s back curved upward as his face slid down to her small pliant mounds. He kissed her breasts, then sucked and tongued her right nipple as his cock pulled back and started a steady rhythm, shallow-deep, shallow-deep, not quite thrusting. He felt Ky pushing up to meet his strokes. His mouth moved to her other nipple, sucking and rubbing it with his tongue. He heard both their breathing turn more labored.



Ted pulled his face up. Ky’s eyes were closed. “I wanna move… faster… harder, okay?”



Kyli opened her eyes. She nodded and breathlessly added, “Yeah… yeah.”



Ted’s ass reared back and he plunged his thick, throbbing cock into her slick, hugging channel. His groin slammed against her pubis. Smat!



“Oh! Yes!” Kyli’s petite body lurched but she felt Ted’s cupping hands on her shoulders holding her in place. “Yes… yes.”



He saw Ky’s face wince but she also said ‘yes.’ His speed increased as he thrust hard and fast into her a dozen times. He was close to cuming when he saw her face wince again. If he was with any other girl he would have kept going. He plunged again, then stayed planted deep. His hips churned. He was gasping breaths. “Ky… you… does it… hurt. I don’t wan…”



“No… uh… a-a little… but… keep going… ohgod… it’s good… so good.” She felt his legs sliding forward as his torso began rising. “No… no… c’mon… more… more.” She wanted to give him what he wanted. And even if she was getting really tender, it did feel so good too. She almost desperately wanted to feel him cum inside her again. “Ted…” She tried to take deeper breaths as she watched him.



Ted shifted his knees, then lowered her left leg to the sheet and moved her other leg from his left to his right shoulder, and as her hips turned his right knee moved over her prone leg and he leaned forward so his throbbing cock would stay ensconced in her tight, slippery channel.



“What are you… um…” Ky blinked as he nudged her upper back with his left hand to turn onto her side. For a moment she thought she was twisting his stiff member inside her and then realized how crazy the notion was. His right arm wrapped around her thigh at his chest. His cock started moving. Her eyes opened wide then she blinked. It seemed different, like he was touching spots inside her that had never been touched before. Her hips started churning slightly as the push and pull of his muscle within her increased tempo. His left hand cupped one cheek of her bottom and gave her a squeeze, then slid over her hip and twisted to her pussy. He plunged into her harder, but the head didn’t ram the end of her channel. Two fingers of his hand at her pussy started circling her shivering clit. She felt herself take a giant leap towards her own orgasm. Her voice quavered, “Oh-h-hhh… oh Teh-ed.”



He thrust harder and faster. He could feel his pubic bone ramming the upper cheek of her ass and sensed her pelvic girdle under the firm fleshy bun. He hoped this position would be better for Ky, he’d still be able to be a little rough but not get as deep. He saw her eyes shut tight and her face contort. He pushed deep and stayed planted, his hips churning but not as intensely as he wanted to. He was very close to shooting again. “Ky… am I hurting you?” He gulped a few deeper breaths.



“No.. ohgodno… faster… I’m so… close… ohgodohgod…. faster… Ted… Ted!”



His ass reared back. He plunged into her harder and faster than before. He made sure his fingers weren’t too rough on her clit. He wasn’t surprised when Ky’s hips started churning and rocking with abandon. Yeah, this was better than his dreams. He knew he was losing his fight to hold back. He wanted her to have another orgasm.



Kyli’s body started shaking. She was at the precipice. “Oh-h-h-hhhh.” She tried to stay in rhythm with Ted’s thrusts but she was losing control of her body. “Ohhhhh… oh…. OH! OH Ted!” She was able to move her arm and grab his wrist at her sex. She tried to pull it away but didn’t have the strength. She was in orgasm, yet it just kept getting more intense. It scared her. It had to be because of his fingers on her clit. “OHH-H-H!”



Her shout was all he could take. Ted plunged deep and grinded. “Arrrrrrghhhh!” He kept pushing, straining forward as his balls tightened and the first surge rippled up his throbbing cock. “AH!”



His fingers stopped and Kyli was able to yank his hand away from pussy, yet her orgasm kept getting more intense as she felt his thick member spew heat into her depths. It seemed her body was possessed, she rocked, bucked and shoved against his groin. She could feel her leg over his shoulder bouncing and tensing on his back. She knew her heel hit him at least a few times. His cock rippled a half dozen times more, then his hips started moving again, his still hard cock moving in shorter yet still intense strokes. He yanked his hand down to her pussy again, a fingertip didn’t stroke but only caressed her pearl, yet it seemed like it was electrified.



“OH! OH Ted!” Her peak kept rising along with her fear. It felt so wondrous, so incredible but she thought she might faint, then for a moment she thought she might die. At that very second, Ted, pushed deep and stayed planted within her contracting, shivering channel and his finger moved off her clit. She felt his cock expand and ripple twice more but didn’t feel any extra heat enter her now gooey channel. It took her a moment to realize her hips were still churning and straining to push her pussy to him, as if she was never going to let him escape. She knew it was true. She wanted him inside her forever. She almost started crying a moment later when Ted leaned down folding her upper leg more as he kissed her shoulder and her neck then spoke through his labored breaths.



“Ky… where I am… inside you… I don’t ever want to leave.” Ted was still huffing breaths but he held it for a moment as he kissed her lips. He pulled his face back and was smiling but it instantly disappeared. Kyli seemed to be on the verge of tears. “Dammit… did I hurt you?”



Kyli shook her head and gave him a pursed lipped smile.



“You sure?” He watched her nod. He wasn’t sure whether to believe her. He had gotten pretty rough. He figured he should unfold her leg immediately. As he began to do that, he leaned to the side to get his knee over her prone leg. They both flinched as his half deflated cock slipped out of her wet warmth. “Dammit.” He lowered her leg to the sheet.



Tears ran down Kyli’s face but her pursed smile turned into a grin, then she giggled.



Ted was first relieved at her giggle because it probably meant he hadn’t been too rough, then he realized the timing of his dick flopping out was actually funny. He had just said he wanted to stay inside her forever. He smiled, then grinned, then chuckled. He leaned down again over her twisted form and kissed her smiling lips. They were both still half laughing. He pulled his face up and looked into her eyes. She was still smiling. “You okay?”



Kyli nodded again. “Uh-huh.” She turned onto her back as her hand rose and she ran her fingers through Ted’s hair starting at his temple. She took a deeper breath. “I’m very okay.”



He gave her another kiss, longer than the one a second ago, but still fairly brief. They were both still catching their breaths. He drew his face up again, still smiling. “I hate to say this.”



Kyli’s smile vanished. “What?”



“I have to hit the bathroom.”



Her smile returned and she rolled her eyes. “Then go.”



He glanced at the night table, then back to her beautiful eyes. “I’m getting something to drink too, a soda, I don’t want any more bourbon. You want something other than your ice water?”



“Could I have a glass of… mmmm… ginger ale?”



“Sure. How about we share that?”



“Okay.”



He gave her lips a quick kiss then slid off the bed.



Kyli watched him leave the room. She had never felt so good after making love. It was like he had touched all the spots inside her that had craved attention. She bit her lower lip. Not quite every spot though.

Ted used the first floor bathroom, washed his hands then went to the kitchen. He got a glass, added ice, then poured the ginger ale. He grabbed a can of Coke for himself, deciding he rather have that, then headed back to Kyli’s room. He walked slowly, trying to shake the sensation that he was in some wonderful, erotic dream.



He had been in love with her for years, even though he always tried to deny that fact. He may have hoped sometimes that she felt the same but discovering tonight she did, had been a surprise to say the least. Especially the passion. It mirrored his own. He was glad they had made love without the damn neckties. He hoped he’d be able to get it up again. Do it really slowly, try a bunch of different positions, see which Kyli liked the best. He smiled. Yeah, that would be fun, and if he could get hard again, he’d probably last a long time. He had shot twice and the booze would help too.



He stopped at the stairs as he thought of the ties again and his gut tensed. Having her tied to the bed had been very hot, but what if she wanted to be tied up every time? He blinked as his gut knotted tighter. What if this was the one and only night of passion they ever shared? That somehow tonight was some sort of closure thing regarding that night she saw him with Darlene and connected to that stupid game they had played? Was that why she kept bringing up Darlene? What if tomorrow everything went back to normal, when they were both sober?



His brow pinched. But what if their relationship became something new, something different? How was any of this going to work out? They weren’t biological siblings, but they were brother and sister in the eyes of the law, and even more importantly, they were siblings in the eyes, hearts, and minds of their parents. Hell, he even thought of her as his sister, and Kyli undoubtedly felt the same about him being her brother. Yet it was way more than that too for them, at least it was for him.



He knew he was still too drunk to think about anything right now. Maybe it would just be this night of passion, maybe it would be more. One way or the other he’d never forget this evening, this night. She was so hot, so incredible. He had never been so excited eating her pussy and fucking her tied to the bed like that. He worried for a moment again that she only got off when she was tied up. He shook his head. No, she had liked it the regular way too just a few minutes ago, yet a few hours ago he may have imagine her bound to the bed and ramming his cock into her, Ky begging to be fucked harder and harder, but that had just been erotic daydreaming. He had never thought she would be like that whenever he gave it serious thought. All of it had been his fantasies coming true, coming to life.



His thoughts shifted again. He wondered if she and Raymond had done it that way a lot. And how was tonight connected to that night she watched him with Darlene? He closed his eyes and exhaled. Tomorrow would be soon enough to think about it all. If they only had one night of lusty lovemaking, so be it. He was going to enjoy it, enjoy her, give her a night of love that she’d never forget, that neither of them would ever forget. He glanced up to the second floor. What the hell was he standing around for? The girl he had love for years was upstairs, nude, waiting for him. He shouldn’t waste a moment of this night! He started up the stairs.



Kyli turned her head to look at the alarm clock. Ted seemed to be taking a long time to get a soda. Her teeth clamped her lower lip. What if he was already regretting them being together like this? What if he thought she was a perv now just like Ray had? He might, even if he had done this with Darlene. She didn’t want him to ever think of her like that.



Her fear of that happening, her fear of losing Ted’s care, friendship, and brotherly love began to overpower her erotic need, her romantic and erotic love towards Ted. She couldn’t bare to lose him because she had wanted to do this since she was eighteen. Her right hand hurriedly went to her left wrist.



Ted stepped into Kyli’s bedroom. He halted abruptly. His flaccid cock instantly started growing. All the thoughts he had at the base of the stairs were forgotten. “Don’t move.”



Kyli froze for a moment, then turned her head but couldn’t see him at the doorway. “Ted, I… I jus’ don’t want you to th…”



He interrupted as he approached the bed slowly, “Sssshhh, let me enjoy just looking at you for a minute. God… Ky, you’re really making all my dreams come true.”



He stood at the foot of the bed. Kyli had somehow gotten herself into the upside-down “Y,” the face down version of it. He thought a moment and realized it would take her at least a couple minutes to get her feet and hands free from the necktie loops without assistance. Her legs were spread, her arms were stretched straight towards to the headboard, her wrists and ankles bound, the thick pillow was under her hips, the lips of her pussy were flared opened, looking a deeper pink now in the soft lamp light. There was a telltale white drool still leaking from her cunt to prove what he had recently done with her. He only had a teasing partial peek of her hot little hole, the deep crack between her bubble buns not open much even with her legs spread. “Ky, you… you’re so incredibly beautiful, and…” He took a deep breath.



“What?” She turned her face to the sheet and tensed as she imagined him saying she was a pervert.



He looked at her hair draped over her shoulders and down her sleek back. He noted her narrow waist, her perfect bottom, her slender, smooth legs, her petite, pretty feet. He wanted to tell her she was incredibly sexy, seductive, hot but thought she’d not think of it as a compliment. “You’re beautiful, so… so feminine.” That really did say it better. He took another deep breath and moved to the side of the bed. He set the drinks on the bedside table and his cock lurched when he saw the tube of personal lubricant.



“Jus’… jus’ don’t think I’m weird, okay?”



He sat on the bed. He watched his palm cup the right cheek of her pouting ass, squeeze gently, then slide to its twin and do the same. “I’d never think that, but if you are, then we both are.”



He continued watching his hand as it slowly slid up her back, criss crossing from side to side on its way to her neck. He pushed her dark hair up to the top of her head and then leaned down. He gave the back of neck a few lingering moist kisses.



Kyli closed her eyes as a shiver ran down her spine. She felt him shift on the bed, his lips gave her shoulders kisses, then the side of her neck. She turned her head towards that side. He kissed her cheek, her temple, her ear. Another shiver traveled down her back. It made her pussy and anus clench.



Ted gave her ear another tender kiss. He knew he might be misreading her pose. He spoke softly, “Ky… I want to feel my cock pushing into your bottom, if you don’t want to, that’s o…”



She interrupted, “I want that too.”



He kissed her neck as his hand coursed up her farther arm to her elbow. “Are you sure?”



She nodded. “I… I want to do everything you did to her, with… with Darlene.”



Ted exhaled. “Ky… quit thinking about her.”



“I’m not… not really thinking about her, I’m… I… I jus’ wanna do what you two did together, because… because it was what I thought you wannid to do with me, that… that ‘what if’ night.”



Don’t think about her.”



“I’m not, not really. I… I wanna do this with you, but…” She tensed again.



“Huh? What?” He kissed her temple again as his hand stroked down her arm to her shoulder and onto her back. “What?”



“I… I’ve never done it before. Not… not really.”



Ted’s cock, close to a full erection, quickly reached it limits. “Wha’d'ya mean, ‘not really.’” The corner of his mouth curled. He knew the answer she’d give. He gave her a kiss between her shoulder blades.



“I… I’ve done it with… with my own finger.” She closed her eyes for a moment, even half looped she was still embarrassed. She had never told anyone.



An image of Ky finger fucking her ass flashed in his mind. Again his cock flexed. He kissed her ear once more. “We’ll go slow. I want to go slow. Whatever you don’t like, just say so, jus’… jus’ tell me to stop. Okay?”



Kyli loved his low, soft voice. She nodded. “‘kay.”



His feet still on the floor, he slid his ass lower on the bed so he could lean down farther. His hairy chest lightly touched her back. Both his hands cupped around her arms and slid up her limbs past her elbows. His face stroked into her fragrant hair, his lips nibbled her neck for a few moments, then he kissed her ear. He spoke softly, “Tell me again, Ky, tell me you want to feel my cock sliding into your hot ass.”



Kyli’s breathing had already quickened. “I…” She swallowed, panted a few more breaths, then continued, “I wanna feel your beautiful cock sliding into my bottom.”



She kept her eyes closed. She felt his moist breaths against her ear. His breathing had quickened too. She felt a kiss, then his tongue tip wiggling around, finally tracing the curves around her ear. It made her entire body shiver. She listened to his low, soft voice again.



“It’ll feel a little naughty, won’t it?”



“Yeah.”



“Very naughty.”



“I… I wanna be like that… with you.”



“It’s also making love, Ky, because it’s us… you and me… whatever we do, it’s always going to be making love.”



“Uh-huh… with you.” She panted a few even quicker breaths.



“You tied like this… I could do anything I wanted.”



“I… I know.”



“That means you trus’ me, don’t you?”



She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”



“I only want to do this if you want to.”



“I do… oh god, Ted, I wanna do it with you. I’ve wannid to for so long.”



“If I do anything you don’t like…. anything that doesn’t feel good, tell me right away.”



“‘kay. I… I will.”



“I’m not going to rush.”



“‘kay.” She opened her eyes to check that the lubricant was on the bedside table. A part of her was nervous, even a little scared, but she knew Ted would never hurt her.



He had to ask her one more question. “When you pushed your finger into your bottom, what… who were you thinking about?”



“I… I… um…” She closed her eyes and her teeth clamped her lower lip. Her mind was overloaded with emotion and desire. For some reason she wasn’t sure she should tell him.



“Tell me, Ky.” He had an urge and gave into it. His face moved and he gave her shoulder a lingering but gentle bite. He felt her tense and her breathing turned rapid during it. He released her flesh and gave the spot a few kisses. “Who, Ky?”



She whispered breathlessly, “Y-you. I-I thought about you doing it to me. Only you.”



“I wanna give you pleasure, Kyli.”



“You have. I know you will this way too.”



“Slowly. I’ve waited too long to rush.” He also knew that was the only way she’d enjoy it.



“I wan’ it that way too.” She wondered for a moment why he kept repeating that.



He wanted to remember every single moment, wanted to enjoy each second of it. He wanted her to remember it that way too.



Every cell of her body seemed to be shivering in anticipation. It was going to happen, it was finally going to happen. She had wanted this for years. Be with Ted, have it just like this, tied to the bed, the trust that would take, seeing, hearing, and feeling him wanting her just as much as he had wanted that bitch, Darlene. She felt his hands firmly slide along her arms to her shoulders, as his lips and tongue started a meandering trail down her back, giving her skin kisses and teasing licks.



His face then gave her pouting buns a couple strokes before he stood up. He picked up the tube of lubricant from the night table and moved to the foot of the bed. His thick, stiff cock, angling towards the ceiling, bobbed with each step. He gazed at Kyli’s slender form. She was so feminine, so beautiful. Her ass was perfect, the curves of her fleshy-firm buns were exquisite, tempting, sensual. He couldn’t imagine a derriere being more seductive, more alluring, more desirous. He thought about her virginal, hot, little hole. She wanted his cock to push into that tight, torrid orifice, feel her clenching hot “O” slide down his length and girth. He imagined his pleasure, the pleasure she would give him, but he wanted her to have at least as much erotic joy as him. He had fucked Darlene’s ass, with Kyli he wanted it to be making love.



He knew he had to feel it with his tongue again, feel her heat, put his tongue right on the hot spot his cock was going to deflower. She was the only chick he had ever licked there. He hadn’t even given it much thought earlier, he wanted to and just did it, for her and himself.



He half crouched and then leaned forward onto the mattress between her slender, smooth legs forming the “Y.” He wished the bed was longer. He put the tube of lube near her waist. His arms folded at his sides, his hands slid under her spread thighs, just above her knees. It made her hips squirm on the thick, firm, foam pillow for a moment. He leaned to his left and kissed the back of her knee. She tensed for a second, then relaxed as he started a meandering journey up towards her ass. His lips and tongue caressing her smooth, warm skin. As he neared her bottom, her ass pouted even more. At the beginning of the curve of her bun, he teased her, shifting his torso slightly, then sliding down a little, he kissed the back of her other knee, duplicating the journey of kisses and licks up to her bottom again.



His hands slid out from under her thighs, up and around to the outsides of her legs, caressing firmly upward to her hips. He held her. As he slid slightly higher on the bed, he pushed his face into her warm flesh, sliding back and forth over her ass. Her bottom pouted again and when his face pressed harder, she pushed up with equal strength.



Kyli moaned, “Mmmmh.” She loved feeling his face stroking. Her pussy and anus clenched with the hope he’d do what he had earlier even though it worried her too. She wanted to feel his tongue right on her anus. She felt his hands move, sliding up onto her buns. Her gripped her fleshy cheeks firmly. “Ohhhhhh,” she exhaled and moaned.



He pulled his face up as his palms cupped, held, then opened the deep valley of her ass. He gazed at the alluring, pursed, little hole and saw it clench, then relaxed three times. He could feel the body heat rising from her. He pushed his face into her, feeling the baby smooth skin of her valley caress his own. She pushed towards him. Ted had thought of doing this with Kyli for years, had dreamed and fantasized about it. The night really was his dreams coming true. He pressed his wet tongue against her hot little orifice, undulating his oral phallus.



Kyli tensed again. No other guy had ever done this. She prayed she was fresh. She felt embarrassed for a moment, but that quickly dissipated, the pleasure, the intimacy of his act overwhelmed her and made her hips sway and squirm. She shivered then whispered, “Ohhhh… Ted.”



She wasn’t worried about anything now. It felt so hot, so erotic, so loving to her. She knew he’d be like this. She guessed she had always known it. Her body was taking over. Her hips squirmed slightly, her anus started clenching and relaxing, her pussy was doing the same, contracting then loosening over and over again. She felt his broad, firm tongue squirming right on her little anal pore. “Oh… oh yeah… oh god.”



Her squinting hole felt very hot against his tongue. His cock lurched trying to expand even more. His hands gripped her buns tighter, his fingertips digging into her flesh a little. She shivered as she pushed up towards his face and hands even more.



Kyli’s voice was a trembling whisper, “Oh-h-h-h… Teh-h-hed.” Her delicate hands formed fists as her thrills intensified. His tongue started rubbing and circling her anus. It made her hips squirm more. Her turgid clit slid slightly back and forth against the firm pillow. She felt a shivering wave radiate from between her legs. “Oh… mmmhhh,” she murmured.



Ted sensed his lust rising and mixing with the love again. His face turned and his teeth clamped the flesh of bun. He bit her, not harshly but harder than he had her shoulder a few minutes ago. Kyli flinched. The movement brought him back to reality. He was about to say ‘Sorry’ when he heard her mumble.



Kyli breathlessly whispered, “Yessss… bite… bite.”



Ted did. Another to the same cheek, then two nips to the other side. He didn’t do it as hard as the first one, but Ky flinched each time. Her ass pushed and squirmed more intensely. His tongue went back to her now saliva wet little hole. Again without thinking, his lust driving him, his tongue stiffened, and he pushed the tip at the center of her torrid anus. He felt the little hole clench.



“Oh… oh… oh Ted…. no… no.” He didn’t listen to her, neither did her own body. She pouted her bottom more and tried to relax her anus. She had never envisioned this, not in her wildest erotic daydreams had she ever imagined Ted’s tongue on her anus, nor him trying to push it inside her. She then remembered he had licked her there when they started tonight.



His throat muscles were aching again. She was too tight. He pulled his face back for a moment and quickly whispered, “Push out a li’l.”



His tongue was instantly back on her hot spot, laving it for a few moments, then stiffening and the tip was back at the center of her heat. He felt the little orifice open slightly and the tip of his tongue felt her heat around it. She was too tight. He kept pushing as his right hand released her luscious bun and slid down under his chin. His thumb stroked the buttery, pink folds of her slit. He was glad she was so wet again. He pushed his thick digit in. She was warm, tight, slippery. He undulated his thumb and Ky shook for a moment before her hips squirmed again. He pulled his thumb back, then found her turgid clit. He started stroking it as his tongue made another extra effort attempt to push into her virginal anus.



Kyli’s breathing was rushed and ragged. She murmured, “Ohhhh… Tehhhed… mmmff.”



She was already close to orgasm. Her eyes were shut tight at all the wonderful, hot sensations coursing through her body, not just what his tongue and finger were doing, but again, as earlier, how the loops around her ankles and wrists held her in place as her body moved by itself. She wanted to feel his tongue in her ass but it was impossible to concentrate enough to relax her little hole.



Ted’s throat and neck muscles were exhausted. He stopped trying to push in his tongue. He was disappointed with his failure. He wanted to experience it but even more, he wanted to give it to Ky. He had wanted to see her reaction, see how crazy it probably would have made her. Maybe she would have reached orgasm. He went back to licking and laving her hot, little hole as his thumb worked her slippery clit, pushing it side to side, rubbing it, stroking it, varying the speed and intensity of his strokes. His left hand released her bun which closed her valley but he kept his tongue on her anus by pushing his face into her with more strength. His hand felt around for the tube of lubricant, then his fingers deftly unscrewed the top.



He pulled his face back and stroked it over her luscious buns as his hands moved to her back, one with the tube, the other facing up and cupping. He squeezed some lubricating gel into his palm. The back of his cupped hand nudged Ky’s left cheek to the side, his right hand gripped her other bun opening her deep valley again. His face dipped into her deep valley again, his wet, warm tongue laving around her torrid pursed hole once again. He felt the little orifice twitch and tense, then Kyli’s hips squirmed slightly.

Kyli pushed her face into the pillow and moaned, “Mmmmhhh.”



As Ted’s tongue worked, he felt his cock throbbing at its full length and girth and thought it was funny only a short while ago he was wondering if he’d be able to get it up for a third time. His tongue slipped off her squeaky clean hole and he gave the baby smooth skin of her valley a half dozen breathy kisses before he pulled his face up.



Ted dipped his right thumb into the clear lube already melting a little in his left palm. He shifted his body to the left slightly, then smeared a dollop of the gel on Ky’s hot little hole. He wasn’t surprised when she flinched and tensed.



Kyli was panting. She turned her head to the side on the pillow. “That’s… cold.”



Ted half smiled. He watched his slippery thumb rubbing. “Still cold?”



She closed her eyes and shook her head. “No. It… feels good.”



Ted settled his profile on her fleshy bun and watched his thumb on her hot asshole. His thumb stopped moving and his face went blank. “You… you don’t have condoms?” He chastised himself for not having any with him. He hadn’t thought he’d need any.



“Huh? Condoms? Why… no, I don’t.” She wondered if he was worried about getting poop on his cock. Oh god… that would be so embarrassing. “Why? Are you afr…”



He interrupted as his thumb started moving again. “I… I think you’re supposed to use them for… for disease… health reasons.”



“I… I don’t have any STDs, do… do you?” Kyli tensed.



No. It’s… about hepatitis.”



“I don’t have that, do… you?”



“No.”



“I don’t understand.”



The times he had done anal he had never used one. “I don’t either.”



“Does it really matter?” She didn’t want to stop for any reason.



Ted hated himself for bringing it up, but he was concerned about Kyli. Or was it the guy who was the one taking the chance? Wouldn’t you have to have hepatitis to pass it to someone? “No, not… not for us.” He again mentally chastised himself for not knowing more about it. Then again, there weren’t too many chicks in his past who had wanted to take it up their ass. He’d look it up on the internet soon. He turned his head and gave her cheek a few kisses as his thumb applied a bit more pressure to its circling massage. “This feel good?”



Kyli closed her eyes and stopped thinking about condoms. “Uh-huh.”



He hoped he hadn’t broken her mood. He moved his thumb and coated it with more lube and returned it to her torrid hole. She flinched again. He heard her giggle softly and briefly. “Cold?”



“Uh-huh.” She felt Ted’s hand turn, his fingers covered her slit, then a fingertip gently rubbed her already tingling clit. “Mmmmh.” Her breathing picked up tempo again. Her hips squirmed.



Ted watched his thumb even while he gave her smooth bun a couple kisses. His voice was soft and low, “That night when you were 18, the ‘what if’ night, I wanted to make love with you every way possible, Ky.”



“Me… me too.”



“I wanted to rip your panties off… rip your shirt off and… be inside you.”



“I… wanted you to.”



“I wanted to be in your pussy, and… and in your ass too.” He pressed the tip of his slippery thumb to the apex of her pursed little orifice. “Relax and try to push out a little… sort of.” He didn’t know how to tell her any better. He felt it on her anus. The tip of his thumb sunk into ass up to the first knuckle. His fingertip switched from circling to crossing strokes over her taut pink pearl. He remembered her confessing to fingering her own ass. The thought made him relax a little. In a way she had some experience with this.



“Oh… oh Ted.” Her breathing turned into deeper quick gasps.



“Feel good… feel hot?”



“Yes… yes.”



“Remember, tell me if anything gets… ah… uncomfortable.”



“Uh-huh. Um… push… push more.”



Ted didn’t need to be told twice. He kept his fingertip working her clit as he swayed, undulated and applied pressure to his thumb. It slowly slid intoKy’s ass not stopping until the large knuckle at his hand was stretching her opening. He felt her torrid ring grip tightly.



“Urrrrrh,” Kyli moaned.



“Does it hurt? Should I pull back?”



“No.. jus’… don’t move it yet.” There was a little pain, like at first when she had first tried two fingers. She knew all she had to do was wait and relax. Maybe it was the drinks she had but she was able to do that sooner than she thought she’d be able to. “Okay. It… it feels good.” She wasn’t really sure what he was going to do next. What he did surprised her.



Ted poured and wiped off the gel from his palm at the top of Ky’s deep crevice, then pushed that hand between the pillow and her abdomen. The middle fingertip replaced his other on her taut clit. The other fingertip curled and coursed up and down between her flared, slippery labs. He knew part of the lubrication there was his jiz still oozing out of her channel but hoped it was also her dew of excitement. He kept his thumb planted deep in her ass, only moving the tip slightly, as his finger at her slit undulated into her channel, curling and stroking within her tight confines.



Kyli’s eyes blinked open. She had never felt anything like what he was doing, especially when his thumb and finger both pulled back then slowly pushed into her again. “Oh… ohgod.”



He almost stopped but kept pushing into her slowly. “Feel good?”



“Uh-huh… oh… oh Ted.”



He added more gel to his thumb, then continued slowly DP fingering her for another minute. The last two strokes, Ky’s ass pushed to meet his probing digits. That alone almost made him shoot his wad. The very last stroke, he kept pushing, the final, large knuckle on his thumb pressuring her anal pore, making it yawn.



Kyli moaned, “Uhhhh… mmmmmhhh.”



Ted felt both her anus and channel tighten around his digits as her bottom pushed towards him and her hips swayed and squirmed. His face dipped and smeared over fleshy mounds. The finger on his other hand varied speed and stroke more on her turgid, pink pearl. His finger and thumb slowly pulled out of her pussy and ass. He quickly picked up the lube and squeezed another large dollop on her coccyx, put the tube down, then coated his already dewy middle finger and his ring finger, wiping up a large gob of the clear gel onto his fingertips. He nudged her right cheek to the side with the back of his hand and pulled the other with his face, opening her deep valley.



Her anus hadn’t closed all the way after his thumb exited. When he deposited the gob of gel on the little “o,” Ky tensed again at the coolness but only for a moment. He held his fingers away as his thumb attempted to gather and push as much as he could of the lube into the little opening. Ky’s ass pouted a little higher. He curled all his fingers back except for the middle one. He circled the tip around her hot pore, then pushed the tip inside her heat. It entered easily. He diddled it for a few moments then slowly pushed his stiffened digit into her ass. He felt her anus tightened for a second as his middle knuckle disappeared into her bottom.



“Mmmmmmhhh,” Kyli moaned as she pushed up and back to meet Ted’s slippery invading finger. When it was all the way in, she felt it turn and twist. “Mmm.”



Ted slid his digit out, then crossed it with his ring finger. He turned his hand back and forth working the two tips into Ky’s little “o.” As more of his fingers moved into her, the “o” stretched wider. Ky’s slightly swaying hips stopped. His fingers halted, even the one on her clit. God he wanted to have his cock in her ass. “Ky… I don’t want this to hurt you.”



“Wait.” She was panting. “Wait a second.” She didn’t want to disappoint him and she didn’t want to disappoint herself either. She concentrated on relaxing. “Okay… okay now.” She first felt the fingertip on her clit move. It sent a delicious shiver through her and maybe because of it, without thinking her bottom pushed up and back. She felt her anus stretch and it didn’t hurt. It felt erotic, hot. She shut her eyes tightly, her teeth gritted at the pleasure of having Ted’s fingers in her and not her own. “Yesssss,” she hissed softly.



Ted slowly worked his fingers in and back for nearly two minutes. He had to go even slower for a few strokes after he uncrossed them. Kyli got used to the added width quickly though. He turned them now and then and again almost shot his wad when Ky responded by churning her hips with a bit more intensity. He added more gel, then grouped his index finger with the other two. They slid in easily until the middle knuckles.



“Urrrh,” Kyli grunted.



Ted stopped but didn’t ask if it hurt. Obviously there was discomfort. The finger on his other hand continued firmly but gently working her clit, pushing the nub side to side, circling it with his fingertip, diddling it for a few seconds, then stroking, then pushing it side to side again. Just as he was about to tell Ky that maybe they should stop, she spoke.



“Now… push… push slowly.”



Through his own ragged breaths Ted whispered, “If it hurts, tell me to stop.”



Ky breathlessly answered, “Push… slowly, push in… I… wanna feel it. I wanna feel you inside me.”



Ted did as she instructed, with starts and stops over a minute or so, he finally had all three overlapped fingers buried in her hot hole. Again he almost shot his load when Kyli’s hips started churning again, tentatively at first, then with more certainty. He slowly retracted his grouped fingers and then pushed in again.



“Ohgod… oh yes… yesss… ohgod… Ted… I-I want you in me there.” She shut her eyes as her hips squirmed. He felt his fingers twisting. It didn’t hurt at all. There was just that weird erotic thrill coursing through her body. “Now, Ted… now baby, please.”



Ted was still on the edge of orgasm. He wanted his cock in her ass. He slowly pulled his digits back, twisting them the entire way. He pulled his other hand out from under her, held her valley open, and added more gel to her now dilated anus. Once again she flinched at the coolness, then released a very brief, breathy giggle. He quickly used his thumb to work the gel into her torrid cavity, then hurriedly coated his throbbing cock.



He moved between her bound open legs, stretching his own over the end of the bed but holding himself up on his knees and with an outstretched arm. He grabbed his lubed rod and brought the deep read head to Ky’s dilated anal pore. He stroked the tip around her hot hole.



Kyli’s eyes shut as she whispered, “Ohgod. Yes… yes, Ted.”



He took a few deeper breaths. “Tell me to stop… if it hurts.”



“Yes… yeah… push in… push in.”



He gripped his prick and nudged the tip at the center of Ky’s slightly gaping anus. The head was twice as large as the “o.” It started to dilate more. He had to shut his eyes even though he wanted to watch. He was already at the edge of cuming. He had dreamed of this moment for years. He didn’t want to shoot until he was completely buried in Ky’s luscious ass. He could feel her anus contracting against the spongy-firm helmet. He felt her sphincter hugging half the head. He kept pushing slowly and firmly, then just as the lip of his helmet was about to get past the hot muscle, he felt it contract severely and Ky tense beneath him. Dammit! He opened his eyes and looked first at his groin and her luscious ass, then at her pretty profile. Her hair hid a good portion of her face but he saw her eyes shut tightly and an expression of pain.



Through labored breaths he spoke, “Ky… we don’t have… to do this.” He gulped more air.



“No… no… wait… wait…” Kyli panted more breaths. She concentrated on relaxing.



“You… you push back when you want to.” He looked down at her perfect buns again. He didn’t move for nearly a half minute, then felt and saw Ky’s hips sway slightly. Her sphincter loosened a little. She pushed up and he held fast. They both twitched when the ridge of his helmet passed her sphincter.



“Urh!” Kyli nearly yelped.



“It hurt?”



“Yeah… no… um… just wait. It’s jus… ohgod, you’re… so big.”



“Ky, I don…”



She interrupted, “No… wait.”



Over the next five minutes, in slow increments and adding a lot of lubricant, Ted’s cock worked into Ky’s tight anus. For the most part, he let her determine when to move, allowing her to push back and take a fraction more into her hot rectum. Ted would pull back a little from time to time, then push in the same amount. A couple times Ky would breathlessly say, “A little more,” and he’d nudge a bit more of his throbbing rod into her pouting, seductive ass until she clenched again. Finally there was only an inch of his stiff, pulsing manhood not ensconced in her heat.



She told him to wait as he felt her torrid ring tighten around his staff. He was holding himself up with his elbows, looking between their bodies once in a while, but had to stop that. The sight was too erotic, too hot and he didn’t want to cum yet. His left forearm was under her, his hand was at her pussy, his finger playing with her turgid clit. His right forearm slid on the sheet, his hand cupped around and held her elbow. Her arms were still stretched straight, her wrists still in the tie loops attached to the headboard.



He stroked his face through her fragrant, dark brunette hair. His breathing was ragged, so was Kyli’s. He felt her anus relax again. He pressed his lips to her ear and whispered, “I’m going to pull back, then… slowly push into you, all the way, Ky. I-I won’t last long, this… you feel too good. If… if it hurts, tell me… right away.”



Kyli swallowed and took a deeper breath. “Yeah… I want all of you in me… all of you, Ted.” She swayed her hips slightly.



His chest rose and he looked between their bodies, at the sensual curves of Ky’s luscious buns. He started pulling back. Ky moaned but he knew it wasn’t from any pain. When he felt the helmet at her sphincter, he reversed course, denying himself the urge to shove his pulsing prick into the depths of her heat.



Kyli released another soft moan as she felt the entire length of Ted’s thick cock slowly slide all the way into her bottom. On the last inch or two, she pushed up and back to meet him. It felt so weird, yet so erotically and sensually thrilling. His finger on her clit alone almost had her at the brink. She felt so full of him, her anus was so stretched, yet the discomfort, sometimes momentary painful discomfort, had disappeared. It was so hot, so erotic, so incredibly intimate, and so naughty yet it wasn’t naughty, wasn’t bad, and wasn’t perverted, they were giving each other what they wanted, what they desired. It was loving, yes, it was love not perversion. She felt so close to Ted, no psychological or emotional or even sexual taboo boundaries separated them. That was what making love should be. What she had always wanted it to be.



His cock and his finger on her clit had her at the brink for minutes. She couldn’t hold back any longer. “Oh… y-your f-finger… Ted… oh… oh god… you’re in me so… so deep… s-so b-big… I-I… y-you… c-cum… oh… oh…” Her hips started churning more and more intensely. “Push. Harder. Push!” She felt his groin grinding against her ass, not only shoving his cock as deep as possible into her bottom, but forcing her body towards the headboard, straining the tie loops around her ankles. That last sensation threw her into orgasm. “Ohgod… ohgod… now… now… T-Ted… n-n-NOW!”



Ted had been holding back so long that when he let himself go, it was almost painful. “AHHHH!” Without thinking, he shoved even harder into her ass.



“Ohhhh!” Kyli felt his thick cock surging, pumping viscous heat deep in her rectum as her body went into erotic convulsions.



Ted couldn’t have held back after her shouts. He had hoped to slide in and retract at least a few times but it would have been impossible to restrain himself that long. This was incredibly perfect as is. As Ky’s ass shoved, swayed, jerked, and twitched, he kept pushing into her and grinding his hips, as his fingertip continued playing with her pink pearl. His entire dream had been realized. The dream had always been that Ky would want this and get as much pleasure from it as he would. And it seemed, no, it definitely was true. She loved his cock in her ass. He felt the last ripple, but still kept pushing and grinding although with less intensity. He was gasping his breaths as he lowered his chest a little more to her sleek back. His grip on her upper arm lessened. His finger slowed then stopped on her clit. He pushed his face into her dark, fragrant hair. He gulped a few breaths before trying to speak.



“Ky… I love you.”



Kyli was still trembling and twitching. She had to swallow a couple times before she could whisper, “Ted, I love you so much.”



Two minutes of relative silence passed, only the sound of Ted’s breathy kisses on her profile, neck, shoulders could be heard and of course their labored breaths. They both felt his cock shrinking. When it finally slipped out, they both flinched.



Kyli released a breathy giggle. “It got small again.” She drew in a deep breath. “God… you were so big.”



He knew his finger had probably felt huge in her bottom too. “Ky… are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”



“Uh-uh. Didn’t hurt.” She closed her eyes as he gave her a dozen moist kisses on her upper back. “Um… but…”



Ted instantly raised his head. “What?”



Kyli felt her face flush. “I… I think I have to um…”



He smiled and gave her shoulder a kiss. “Like you have to take… ahh… poop?”



She shut her eyes. “Yes.” She heard his breathy chuckle. “Shut up.”



“Can you get the loops off your wrists?” He knew she didn’t have to defecate.



“I… I don’t know.” She blinked, then her brow pinched. Ted started working the loops off her wrists. “Ted?”



“Yeah?”



“It’s weird. It… it kinda feels like… like you’re still inside me.”



He half smiled. “Really?” He knew it was the ‘ghost’ of his cock.



“Uh-huh, but… I… you know.”



He got her other wrist out of the loop. “Yeah, I’ll get your ankles free.”



“I… I really don’t want either of us to move, but…”



“Yeah, me either but you need to… ahhh… sit down.” He gave the corner of her mouth a kiss, then slid off the bed. As he took the loop off her first ankle, he gazed at her pussy and ass. He only had partial view of her anus in the deep valley. It was still dilated but already closing. Both her pussy and ass were leaking his seed. He freed her second ankle.



“I… I don’t think I can move. I… I’ve had too many orgasms.” She giggled.



Ted sat on the edge of the bed and again wondered how drunk she was. He wondered that about himself too. He stroked his palm gently over her ass and up her back. He leaned down and kissed her shoulder. “Want me to carry you to the bathroom?”



She giggled softly again. “Mmmmm… That’d be nice, but I think I can make it.” She drew in a deep breath then started sliding towards the edge of the mattress. Ted stood up. She looked at him. He was smiling. She grinned. “I… I never had a night like this, never… I never felt this good.”



He took her hand and helped her up. “Neither have I.” He wrapped her in his arms, then they kissed, their tongues dancing once more. They held each other closer. Ky was the one to slow the kiss, then hugged him even tighter.



“Ted, I love you so much.”



“I love you, Ky.”



“I have to go to the bathroom.”



Ted chuckled and pulled his arms away as Ky did the same. He took her hand. “Mind if I watch as I start us a shower?”



“You’re gonna watch?”



“Yeah.”



“You’re so weird.” She was about to tell him no, but then realized how open and intimate they had just been. What difference did it make if he actually did watch? She glanced at him. Was he just kidding? He had always been weird like that though. She remembered as kids and teenagers, him watching people, and insects, and staring at odd shaped trees, and all sorts of things.

“I’m going to do all the work in the shower, so you can just stand there while I soap you, and then… let’s just go to bed, okay?” Ted felt exhausted.



“Mmm… that sounds nice.”



***



SUNDAY MORNING



Ted opened his eyes. His head was throbbing and his mouth cotton dry. He looked to his left. Kyli was turned on her side facing away from him. It hadn’t been a dream. They had finally done it last night. A rush of guilt hit him followed by a rush of fear.



Had he forced her into it? Had he manipulated her? No, no he hadn’t. He was sure of that. Incredibly, even with a hangover, his cock began growing as it all started coming back to him, not in detail, only hazy visions at the moment. He hoped his memory would sharpen as his head cleared. He needed a couple ibuprofen and a couple vitamin pills. He also needed some water and to piss too.



He looked down the sheet covering Ky, his eyes following her feminine contours. He drew in a slow breath. She was beautiful, smart, sexy, sweet, caring, and a good person. When he thought of what a woman should be, it was who she was. She tended to get overly emotional sometimes, not just with sadness and tears, but she had a streak of angry strength in her too. She was delicate and feminine and sometimes needed to be protected, yet she was also part tomboy, and when she felt she was right about something she’d never back down no matter what the odds. She was the perfect mix. She was the perfect girl, the perfect woman.



Since high school he had been looking for a girl just like her. A girl just like her who was also a lusty animal in bed. He had imagined Kyli like that too, but last night went far beyond his daydreams and fantasies about her. He had taken her anal virginity last night. He knew he had the most erotic night of his life, and he thought, at least hoped, she had too.



His gut knotted. How the hell was he going to go on without her now? How could he ever stop wanting and loving her now? How could he ever find a woman who could equal her? Yet, how could they continue? She was his sister, an adoptive sister, but still his sister. Mom and Dad would never accept anything other than a sibling relationship between them.



He slowly turned onto his side and moved closer to her until his body was pressed against her. His arm gently moved over her, his palm cupped her small breast. He felt her nipple grow a little against his palm. He spooned her for a few minutes, trying not to worry about anything, just enjoy her body against his own, but his thirst and headache were getting in the way of the pleasure of just being with her. He also realized he needed to urinate soon. He wished they hadn’t drank so much yesterday, but knew if they hadn’t he’d probably not be in her bed right now.



He remembered bits and pieces of them in the shower last night, how they had bathed each other. He had even gotten half hard and Kyli had said, ‘Save that for tomorrow. I’m too sleepy.’



They had spooned in bed. He had felt so comfortable with her. It had been the best night of love in his entire life. Except for drinking too much, it was the perfect night with the perfect girl.



He really had to piss. He slid his torso back from her, his head dipped and he planted a soft kiss on her shoulder. He whispered as softly as he could, “Ky? You awake?” He was tempted to wake her but he knew she could use the sleep. He wished he was still asleep. He softly kissed her shoulder again, then pulled his arm from around her as he quietly slid away from her and rose from the bed. He smiled as he headed to the bathroom, glad for the first time that she was the one who got the room with the attached bath.



Kyli pretended to be asleep when Ted had kissed her and whispered. She hadn’t said anything or even opened her eyes because she had a headache and was feeling hungover, but mostly because she was scared to death he’d now think she was just some crazy loose girl, some sex craving slut who had, in essence, seduced him last night. She knew it was her doing. She had started talking about the “what if” game. She stayed silent as he got up and went to her bathroom. She listened to him urinate. The butterflies of last night were fluttering in her stomach again. She had to figure out what to say to him. She loved him and wanted him, but wasn’t that crazy? They were brother and sister. What about Mom and Dad? Oh god.



Ted flushed and then realized he hadn’t closed the bathroom door. “Dammit,” he whispered under his breath. He didn’t want Ky to wake up to pissing sounds. He washed his hands, then started towards the bed, stopped and changed directions. He needed to brush his teeth and take some aspirins or whatever Mom had in the other bathroom. He’d get some ice water for Ky and a couple tabs of whatever he found. Maybe he’d take a shower too just to help him wake up. His brow pinched. He recalled Ky shampooing his hair last night with her shampoo. Yeah, he’d take a shower. He didn’t want to be smelling like some chick. Maybe he’d make her a breakfast tray, or… maybe they could go to that cafe in town. Yeah, that was a better idea. Just some juice and ice water with the meds. He smiled. He’d put it all on a little tray.



Kyli stayed quiet as she listened to the sounds Ted made. The shower turned on in the other bathroom. She thought they might shower together again this morning if things were okay between them, were good and new between them now. She got more nervous. Did he want to be alone? Did he want to pull away from her? Did he want to forget last night happened?



Ted wanted to shower with Ky but he didn’t want to wake her and he needed to clear his head, and a shower usually helped for that when he had a hangover. He knew they’d have to talk today. His gut knotted when he realized she might have been faking being asleep. He had a feeling that she had been awake. Did that mean she already regretted it all? What if she did? How would he convince her otherwise? No. No, he couldn’t advocate them being together, just tell her that was what he wanted. He doubted he could change her mind anyway. It had to be her decision. His hand stopped moving the bar of soap on his chest. He stood still as the water cascaded down his torso. Shit… what if last night was the first and the last time?



Kyli was getting more anxious. She wasn’t sure what to do. She had an awful headache. She had nearly forgotten what a hangover was like. Maybe she should give Ted time to think things through. Maybe it would be best to just try to sleep longer. She glanced at the clock. It wasn’t even 9AM yet. She closed her eyes and tried to calm her fears.



Ted dried off then went to his bedroom without even a towel around himself. He put on a fresh pair of briefs, then pulled out his cargo shorts from his bag. He didn’t bother with socks or his sneakers. He was still hoping to shower with Ky, he just wouldn’t need to wash. He had taken a couple aspirin he found in the bathroom cabinet. He’d find the vitamins downstairs, maybe some ibuprofen for Kyli. He quietly walked down the hall to her room. She hadn’t moved. She was still asleep. He turned and headed to the stairs then the kitchen.



Kyli had heard Ted at the door, then going downstairs. She knew she wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep. She had hoped the morning would be different than this. That Ted would have stayed in bed with her, that maybe her hangover wouldn’t be this bad, that they would have taken a shower together again. A shower. She didn’t really need one, but then neither had he. It might be a way to wake up and it would feel good to stand under the spray.



She slid out of bed, closed the hall door, then walked into the bathroom. With each passing minute she worried more. She didn’t want to lose Ted, as a lover or as a big brother. What if last night would make him pull back from her in every way? Would he just think of her as a perverted slut now? Just like Ray had? No, Ted wouldn’t do that. He loved her. He had told her he loved her a dozen times last night. But, was that just passion speaking? Was last night a once in a lifetime thing? She closed the bathroom door, turned on the shower and said a prayer that everything would be all right.



Ted busied himself in the kitchen. Mom kept the vitamins in the same spot since he was a kid. He found some generic ibuprofen too. He put a couple each on a small silver tray, one used for cream and sugar at holiday dinners. He wondered about making her a toasted bagel with cream cheese and jelly. She used to like that, so did he. He then thought of the cafe in town. Cappuccino and a croissant sounded better, and she’d probably not want to eat anything as soon as she woke up anyway. He pulled the refrigerator door open. Orange juice or cranberry? Ky liked OJ. He pulled out the container and got a medium sized glass from the cabinet.



As the water cascaded down her body, Kyli touched her pussy. She was very tender. She had never been this sore before. Her hand moved, dipping into the deep valley between her buns. Her anus was sore too but surprisingly not as much as she had anticipated. Ted hadn’t been rough with her, they had both just been really intense, passionate. Her labia weren’t friction burned, they were probably a little bruised, so was her pubic bone. She had been a little wild before with that jerk Tom, but never as wild, and definitely not as uninhibited as she had been last night with Ted. She pressed a couple fingers against her anus as her other hand cupped her tender slit. Her eyes closed and for a few moments she forgot her growing concerns about Ted and the future, and allowed herself to remember the essence of the passion and love they had shared just a few hours ago. It had been wild and wondrous.



Ted decided to add a glass of ice water. He looked for another, slightly larger tray.



Kyli was standing under the spray, letting the water hit her face and head before it flowed down her slender body. She was still trying to calm her nervousness, and still trying to figure out what Ted’s actions this morning meant. He had spooned her and had kissed her shoulder, but then he left too, and showered in the hall bathroom. What was he thinking? What was he doing? Where was he anyway? Her body froze for a moment. Had he left? No! He wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye! Again Kyli told herself to relax and stop worrying so much.



Ted stepped onto the second floor, the tray in his hands. He smiled at it — glass of OJ, glass of ice water, a jigger glass containing the ibuprofen and vitamins, and he had borrowed the little vase with the single realistic silk rose his mother had on the foyer parson table, and had put that on the tray too. He thought it might make Ky smile.



Her bedroom door was closed. He couldn’t recall if he had shut it. He tapped on it lightly, then opened it. Kyli wasn’t in bed. He heard the shower going. The bathroom door was closed too. He wondered if she was saying something by that. Doubts about the way she’d feel about last night entered his mind again, and once more he told himself not to jump to conclusions. He headed to the bathroom, tapped once on the door then opened it and stepped inside.



“Hey, Ky? Good morning. I’ve got some juice, ice water, ibuprofen and vitamins for you. Are you a little hungover?” He could only see the shadow of her body behind the shower curtain. He set the tray on the vanity and then leaned his ass against the edge. He wondered again what her attitude would be about last night. His gut tensed.



“I… I guess so, I-I have a headache.” Her breathing had turned shallow. She had no idea why she was so nervous. Ted didn’t sound worried about anything.



“I thought you’d still be asleep.”



“I… I got up a few min… a short time ago.”





Ted could tell she was nervous, but his cock started growing anyway. He kept seeing flashes of the previous night, Ky’s face as they made love, and yeah, made lust too. His dick overruled his hesitation. “Shower feel good?”



“Um… yeah, it does.” She felt breathless for a moment.



“Would you like some company? I’ll do your back again, like last night.” He pushed off the vanity.



“I-I… I think I’d…” She thought she heard the phone ring. “Is… is that the phone?”



“Yeah, the landline.” He stepped closer to the tub. He smiled as his hand started raising to pull the shower curtain open.



“Run and get it, Ted! Mom said she might call!” Kyli was breathless again as the thought of her mother finding out about what happened last night nearly overwhelmed her with guilt and fear.



His brow pinched and his hand stopped moving. “Mom’s calling? From Italy?”





“Yes! She said she might. Answer it!” Kyli was suddenly panicky. She irrationally thought Mom would somehow figure everything out if the phone wasn’t answered. “Hurry!”



Ted exhaled sharply, turned and jogged out of Kyli’s bathroom to his parents’ bedroom. He grabbed the cordless just before the voicemail kicked in.



“Hello?”



“Ted?”



He smiled. “Yeah, Mom, it’s me.” His smile disappeared. “Is everything all right?”



“Yes! Everything has been wonderful so far! Our hotel is perfect! You were so right to suggest getting a room near the Spanish Steps, I think we’ll be able to just walk everywhere. Oh, and you were also right about the Unification Monument. It really does look like a gaudy wedding cake. We saw that again this morning. But last night we strolled to the Fontana de Trevi, and it was so beautiful and romantic. We tossed coins in, just like in that old movie, do you know that movie? We had dinner at this little restaurant close to it, and have you ever had gelato?”



Ted’s smile had returned. He guessed Mom actually wanted an answer or to take a breath. “Yeah, Mom, it’s good. You know, don’t you, it’s just rich ice cream.”



“Are you making fun of me?!”



Ted chuckled. “Mom, just make sure you and Dad go to the church of Santa Maria della Vitorio, I marked it on your map. You have to see that sculpture of St. Theresa in Ecstasy, and remember to note the age of the cupid angel, and don’t forget that those marble figures on the wall are part of the piece too, those are the patrons. It’s all one piece together. It’s not only extremely erotic, but kind of humorous too.”



Tadeuz… there’s not going to be anything erotic inside a church. Quit trying to be funny.”



Ted grinned. He didn’t think he was exaggerating at all. “Okay, maybe I’m kidding around, but I guarantee it’s a really beautiful piece, you have to see it.”



“We will. We’re going there tomorrow.”



“Good. So, you’re having an exciting time so far?”



“Yes! What do you think I’m telling you?! We’re at the Coliseum and Forum right now. Your dad’s taking pictures of everything. He’s… oh… he wants to talk to you.”



“Ted?”



“Hi, Dad, how you doin’?”



“First off, I’m not taking pictures of everything, I’m looking at things mostly, soaking up the atmosphere and the history, I’m not taking this journey of ours through a viewfinder. Your mom insisted calling to just say we arrived safe and sound, I didn’t think she meant to give you a play by play of what we’ve done in the past 18 hours at a hundred dollars a minute transatlantic call.” He laughed. “She just punched my arm. She trying to grab the…”



Ted heard his mother’s voice again.



“It’s not costing that much, John. Ted, is Kyli there? Let me speak to her.”



Ted’s gut tensed. “I think she’s taking a sho…” He heard Ky in the hall. “Hold on.” She appeared at the master bedroom doorway. She was already dressed, similar to what she wore to the airport yesterday. Her hair was only towel dry. He had wanted to at least see her nude if not make love with her this morning. “I guess she’s done with her shower. Here she is, Mom.”



Kyli walked up to him. She looked nervous and a little teary eyed. He handed her the phone.



Kyli took a quick breath, then smiled. “Hi Mom! What are doing right now? Where are you?” She saw Ted’s mouth form silent words, saying he was going downstairs. She nodded at him and felt more nervous. Her eyes turned towards the window and her lips curved into another small smile. “No, Mom, I don’t have the map copy right in front of me, but we looked at it so much this past week that I have most of it memorized.” She listened for a full minute. “Uh-huh, I think you two could walk there, but don’t rush looking at the Forum.” She giggled. “Hi, Dad.” She listened again then grinned. “I know how expensive it is, but you guys called us.” She listened then laughed. “Dad, give the phone to her! Don’t be mean to Mom!” Kyli giggled yet again.



Ted poured himself some cranberry juice and downed it all within a minute. He refilled the glass then walked out onto the patio to check the weather. The morning was already warm. It was going to be hot again. He sat on the chaise that he had the previous evening. He sipped his juice and wondered what Kyli would think and say about last night. She hadn’t seemed very happy when he handed her the phone.



He would hate himself forever if his actions last night made her never want to have anything to do with him again, if it ruined the sibling relationship they had, the love they had before yesterday. He hadn’t given a thought last night to it possibly ruining their brother-sister relationship, had he? He seemed to recall wondering about a lot of things when he got the sodas or whatever the hell the drinks were, right before they did anal. He felt his cock twitch.



Jeezuz, she had been so hot, so damn perfect. And he had been so relieved when they made love that second time without the damn ties. He was sure she got off on it without being in the damn upside-down “Y.” He felt his cock grow at the memory of her bound to the bed. That really had been incredibly erotic though, even more so than with Dar or that other chick who got off on it. He shut his eyes and shook his head. He loved Ky, he wanted her, but if she didn’t feel the same, he’d be able to deal with it. But if she couldn’t even love him as a sister now, he’d not be able to handle that. He prayed he hadn’t made a mess of her life, or of both their lives.



He told himself to relax. They’d talk today. It was wasted energy to worry about any of it until there was definitely something to worry about.



He heard the patio door opening. He turned around. Kyli looked beautiful as always, but what tensed his stomach was that she looked worried, possibly even scared. His heart sank. He again wondered if she was regretting everything that happened last night. He forced a smile to his face as Ky slowly walked towards him. “Mom sounded really excited, so did Dad. It seems they’re off to a great start on their vac…” He grinned, “I’ll use Dad’s term, a great start on their journey through Italy.”



Kyli nodded. “They were both almost… giddy, like… like teenagers. They said everything is beautiful, and full of history, and… romantic. They’re having a great time. They’re going to walk to the Baths. I forgot the name of them, some… emperor.”



He still couldn’t read her mood. “Did you take the ibuprofen and vitamins?” He was hungover but not as badly as he thought he’d be. The long shower and aspirins seemed to have revived him somewhat. He hoped it was the same for Ky.



“Uh-huh.” Her teeth clamped her lower lip for a moment as her eyes teared. “Ted, are… are we okay?” Once more she felt breathless.



He rose from the chaise and put his arms around her. He kissed her cheek. “I guess we need to talk? Obviously we need to talk.”



Her eyes teared. She nodded.



“Why don’t we… go to that little cafe in town. Have a cappuccino, a croissant, maybe talk a little there, but… let’s… neither of us should get nervous or…” He took a breath. “Listen, let’s relax for a while, not even talk about last night yet, just have coffee, then… we’ll come back here or maybe go for a walk or sit in the park and discuss it, talk about everything. Let’s just get out of the house for an hour or so, and just relax. Okay?”

copyright ©2009 by A_Satori. All rights reserved.



[Author's note: My thanks to Andrea4328 and ny_girl14 for their editorial help on this story. It is greatly appreciated.]


************

* * *After the fake tears were wiped a few times, Lana started in on how she had tried and tried to get jobs, applied everywhere within walking distance and couldn’t get anything, even at the fast food joints. She said that without her allowance it was going to be the summer from hell and what would she do in the fall? She’d never be able to do anything fun, or buy any clothes, or get little things that were really necessary. She’d never see any of her friends if she had no money. More faux tears started dropping from her eyelashes.



I stopped listening. A few minutes later I said was going outside to have a smoke. I had two cigs. When I got back to the visiting room, the crying had stopped. When I sat down at the table. Lana smiled at Barb and said she was going to get a drink of water since she didn’t have any money for a snack.



Barb looked at me with intense eyes. “Give her some money for a soda and a snack.”



My jaw clenched. I guess my eyes were intense too.



“Please, just a couple dollars.”



My gut knotted again, but I pulled my wallet out and gave the little bitch two dollars.



Lana smiled at her mother. “Thanks, Mom.” She gave me a smile too, a smug variation.



As soon as her hot, pouting apple ass swayed away, Barb started in on me.



“Maybe we shouldn’t cut off her allowance. It is hard to get a job. I know. I’ve been through it all my life. I…”



The “we” really got me angry. I cut her off. “Barb, she’s playing you, and you goddamn well know it. She’s lying about everything. You know what really scares the hell out’a me?”



Her eyes teared a little. She knew I was telling the truth but she didn’t want to believe me nor admit it. “What?”



“What if she walked in here, and told you I had a woman over, I was fucking some other woman, or… or even worse, what if she came in today and said I had assaulted her, raped her? She’s your kid, not mine. You can believe her fucking bullshit all you want but I’m not going to fall for it. I’m being goddamn nice to your kid, I always have been, and all I get from her and all you get from her is that shit attitude. I’m not giving her an allowance this summer. I’m not doing that. I’ve told her and I’ll tell you again, I’ll pay for her food, the roof over her head, and I’m even going to pay for that community college in the fall. Without me, she’d be on her own right now. And what I said a moment ago? I do get scared she’ll make up some damn bullshit about me, call the cops, tell you, whatever. I don’t trust her.”



“She wouldn’t do that.”



“Why not? She just lied through her teeth about last Sunday. I told her plainly you were going to call, that it would break your heart if she wasn’t there to take the call. She was just an inconsiderate, self-absorbed, self-centered little bitch about it. I was going to take her out to dinner, a nice place, she told me to go to hell about that too. That was fine, but when she said screw your call, that really pissed me off.”



“She… she’s had a rough life. I… I haven’t been… a… very good mother.” Barb started crying. Her voice became high pitched and squeaky, “I made… m-made so many mistakes with her. So… s-so many other mistakes too.”



“Yeah, and here I am dealing with one of your huge mistakes, you being in prison, but I’m not going to deal with eighteen years of your mistakes with Lana.”



Barb’s crying turned into sobbing and I instantly felt like a total asshole. I hated it when I lost my temper, sometimes it just happened, I wouldn’t even be aware it was boiling up. It just exploded and took possession of me. She bowed her head. She looked so much older and so damn pathetic at that moment. Her hands went up to her face, her palms covering it as she shook with more sobs. I reached for her arm. As soon as my fingertips made contact with her skin, she quickly turned to the side.



She squeaked, “Don’t… touch me.” She released a couple more loud sobs.



I had just been cruel to her. I knew she thought, and to a degree I also thought, that she was in prison because I had been so wasted that night. I knew with a couple less shots in me, and a couple more in her that night, I might be sitting in her chair and she in mine. I seriously doubted she’d be visiting me at this point though. I reached for her again, stroked her arm. She didn’t pull away. “I’m sorry, Barb. I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t think that.”



“Yes, you do.”



“I shouldn’t have said it if I do or not. Both of us have made big mistakes in our lives. At least you’re getting dry in here. I’m trying but… hell, I’m off the wagon again. On-off, on-off. Listen, things will work out. Don’t worry about it. Really, please don’t worry.”



“Are…” She wiped her eyes and nose with a paper napkin. “Are you going to give her an allowance?”



My jaw tightened for a moment. “No. I’m sorry if that bothers you, but no, I’m not. Barb, I’m broke, we’re broke. When I was a kid, from the time I was fifteen, I always had a summer job, right through college. She hasn’t applied for any jobs. I’m not giving her money to blow. If she doesn’t want to work at least part-time for spending money, she can just stay at home and watch TV or surf the internet. I don’t tell her not to have her friends over. She can do that.”



“She’s ashamed of the house.”



“Hell… it’s better place than my parents’ house.”



I didn’t want to breech that subject. I was thinking of getting a smaller place, maybe an apartment. The house wasn’t the greatest nor the worst in a fairly shitty part of town, but I thought the rent was high for what we got for it. The problem was we had just signed a new three year lease a couple months before the accident. I knew I’d probably lose the security deposit if we moved. Plus I really didn’t feel like apartment hunting.



I exhaled. “Look… when she starts community college in the fall, I’ll… you and I will talk about the allowance thing again, but if you mention one word about it to her, I won’t ever give her an allowance, and I’m not saying I will in the fall, just that you and I will talk about it again.”



She blinked a few times. “Are you sure you won’t at least give her…”



I interrupted quickly, “Barb, I’m not giving her spending money. I told her months ago she’d not be getting an allowance after she graduated, and she’d need a job this summer. I told you months ago the same things. In fact it was last fall we talked to her about getting a job.”



Barb blew her nose. “All right.” She took another napkin and wiped her eyes. “She didn’t say, did she like the sun dress? Was I right about the size?”



I didn’t want to tell her. Barb had told me to put a gift receipt in the box in case it didn’t fit. I thought it was an incredibly stupid gift. I had never seen Lana wear anything close to it, but Barb said that she’d be graduated and would hopefully change her style, start acting more like an adult. I knew that was a wishful prison fantasy. I had given it to Lana on Monday evening. She had ripped open the envelope not to read the card but to see if there was any cash in it, then ripped open the gift wrapped box, frowned, and then in a snotty tone asked me if I had kept the receipt.



I told her it was in the box under the tissue paper. She tossed the dress on the couch, and got the receipt. She said it didn’t say how much it cost on it. I told her it was a gift receipt. She asked how much she’d get when she returned it. I just told her she’d have to wait to find out. I was really angry about it all. She glared at me, grabbed the dress, then the box and went to her room. The wrapping paper was still in the living room, on the floor.



On my way home from the graduation ceremony, I had decided not to give Lana the three gift wrapped novels I had gotten her. Barb had been right, Lana would have thought they were a ridiculous gift. They were still sitting on the shelf in the bedroom closet.



“I guess it didn’t fit. She said she was going to returned it.”



“Did they have her correct size, or did she get something else?”



“I don’t know. I guess you could ask her.”



Lana walked up. She had a bag of tortilla chips and a soda She sat down. She didn’t offer any chips to her mother or me. “So… did you two have some time to talk?”



Barb sighed. “You… you should try harder to find some summer job, honey. Maybe…”



Lana broke in, “I told you, no place is hiring!”



An expression of defeat, maybe despair washed across Barb’s face and for a few moments she looked ten years older again.



Barb’s voice was soft, “Just keep trying, honey.”



“I can’t. I don’t have a car. I can’t get around town to even apply for jobs.”



I spoke, “There’s the county bus line. One stops six blocks from the house that goes to the big mall. I’ll buy you a ten pack of tokens.”



“I don’t wanna ride the bus. Only dweebs and old people ride that bus.”



Barb continued the soft toned voice, “Honey, you should take the tokens. We’re… trying to be helpful.”



Lana’s jaw clenched as she glared at her mother. Her mouth opened and then she rethought whatever she was about to say. She slumped lower in the plastic chair, her arms folded over her chest as she looked towards the barred and cyclone fence covered windows of the cafeteria.



When the visitation period was over, and Barb hugged her daughter, Lana’s body was limp in the hug. She just said “Bye” to her mother without even looking at her. I kissed Barb who was on the verge of tears again. I hugged her and told her not to worry, things would work out.



Of course I didn’t believe that. During the last part of the visit I was again silently cursing myself for ever signing the damn guardian papers. I figured I’d probably be paying for a divorce lawyer soon. Maybe not. That would take a some initiative, energy, some actual caring, and I used all my energy and any “giving a damn” I could muster to keep my job, in other words, to stay sober on my job. I was going with the flow, or maybe I really didn’t want a divorce. Sometimes Barb and I did have a good time together. Sometimes even when we had been sober. And, although no one could tell with her in the prison jumpsuit, she had a very hot bod. Maybe I’d just think about it.



Near the half way point of the drive back, I was hungry, with a taste for greasy spoon food. I remembered a truckstop, about fifty minutes from the house, somewhat seedy but right off the interstate, easy off, easy on. I didn’t want to stop for fast food which Lana might have enjoyed. I had gone there a handful of times a couple years ago when I was working on a job out this way, mostly for breakfast, but for dinner twice when we worked overtime. It was about twenty miles ahead.



I took a slow breath. “You hungry?” I glanced her slender legs. My balls were turning blue again. Lana waited almost a minute to reply.



“Yeah, but I don’t have any money.”



I actually smiled, well, a half smile. “Don’t worry. My treat.”



She didn’t say anything more and neither did I until I turned into the semi-trailer crowded parking lot.



Her face scrinched up. “We’re stopping here? Why not like a Burger King or something? Didn’t you see that one just down the road?”



“Home cooking here.” I smiled again. Sometimes I just had a craving for greasy spoon food. Breakfasts were always the best, but anytime was all right when the urge hit.



I wasn’t able to park very close to the entrance. We got out of my pickup and headed to the doors. A woman, maybe thirty, looking the worse for wear, dressed nearly exactly like Lana, miniskirt and tank top, sans the shitkickers, was smoking a cigarette standing at the corner of the building out of sight from the windows. As we made our way to the doors, she looked at Lana for a few moments, then at me.



She smiled. “Hey, honey, how are you today?”



I nodded and smiled. “Fine. You havin’ a good day?”



“Could be better.” Her smile stayed in place as her eyes somewhat glared at Lana.



“Well, hope you have a better one.”



As we approached the doors, Lana asked, “Do you know that woman?”



I grinned. “No, never saw her before.”



Lana noticed the sign in the window–


WAITRESSES WANTED



FREE ROOM/BOARD INCLUDED”What’s a half and half?”



I ate some of the coleslaw. I swallowed. “Half suck, half fuck.” I figured it was all right to speak frankly. I was sure she had heard all the words and probably performed the acts too.



“Oh.” She stared at the trucker area for a minute. “That guy thought I was one.”



I chuckled. It sounded more like she was speaking to herself, but I responded anyway. “Well… you’re a hot lookin’ chick when you don’t slather on the makeup, and you’re wearing the uniform.” I instantly regretted the ‘hot looking chick’ comment. I quickly shoved another piece of chicken into my mouth.



She turned her face towards me. Her eyes seemed a little wider than usual. Her teeth clamped her lower lip for a few seconds. “You think I’m hot? I… I thought you thought I was ugly.”



“I never said you were ugly.” I ate a few fries.



I relaxed a little when her eyes went back to normal and she added ketchup to her burger then took a bite. A couple minutes of silence ensued. She broke it again.



“So… like you’re sure it’s fifty dollars for a… a… half ‘n’ half?”



“I’m guessing.” I then made another verbal mistake. “Want me to ask?”



She stared at me for a few moments. “Yeah, ask.”



“I was kidding.” When I blurted it, I hadn’t been.



“Ask… c’mon. I… I’m just curious.”



I had to admit to myself that I was now curious too. I had been before when I used to come to the joint. “Maybe I will on the way out.”



She frowned at me, then took another bite of her burger. We finished eating fifteen minutes later. Lana only ate half her burger, a few of the limp greasy fries, and didn’t touch the paper cup of coleslaw. I ate some of her fries and a forkful of the coleslaw. I left an adequate tip, picked up the check and said, “Ready?”



“Yeah.”



At the cash register, we had to wait for someone to come over. I pulled out my wallet and got the money ready.



Lana stepped closer and whispered, “Ask, c’mon, ask.”



I let out a huff of air in lieu of a laugh.



“C’mon, just ask. I’m… I’m just curious.”



I was too again. Our waitress finally came up to the register.



“Was everything okay?”



“Yeah, it was fine.” I started to hand her the cash, then stopped. I took out two more singles. “I left a tip on the table, but maybe it was a little light.” I added the couple bucks to what was in my hand. “I was… thinking of having a party, is there anyone who works here I… I could invite?”



The woman glanced at Lana, then at me, then at Lana again, before she looked at the trucker only area.



“Not right now, but… maybe in a few minutes.” She looked at Lana once more then glared at me.



“Ahh… on second thought, I don’t think I’m going to throw the party.” I handed her the cash. “Keep the change. Have a good one.”



“Yeah, you too, hon.” Her eyes went to Lana one last time.



I held the door for Lana again just to get another gawk at her ass. We stepped outside.



There was an edge to her voice. “Why didn’t you ask?”



“There wasn’t anyone to ask.”



“Wouldn’t she know?”



“Maybe, but I don’t think she’s involved in that part of the business.”



“You should have asked her.”



My jaw clenched again. I saw the earlier woman still at the corner of the building.



As we approached she said, “Hi again, honey.” The woman glanced at Lana.



I thought she might have been good looking at one time. “Havin’ a better day?”



“Not yet. Are you… are you lookin’ to have a better day?”



I slowed. “What did’ja have in mind.”



She glanced at Lana again. I thought the woman’s eyes looked dead like the hooker’s in the hallway.



She flicked her hair. “Are you a cop?”



“No. I was wondering the same about you. Are you a police officer?”



She smiled. “No, I’m not a cop, honey, just a girl looking for some fun. You wanna have some fun?”



“How much does fun cost nowadays?”



“For the three of us?”



I grinned wondering what expression was popping onto Lana’s face. “No, just you and me.”



“For sixty you can have my company for an hour, and we can have any kind of fun you want. But… you have to wear a condom. Just so you know that.”



“Anything?” I doubted I’d have to wear a rubber, but I damn well would if I was going to fuck her. I wasn’t a total idiot. Something had to be wrong. Sixty seemed way too low for ‘anything.’ She had to be totally broke and in some sort of jam.



“Uh-huh.”



I decided to push it. “I’m… well, I’m out’a work right now, can you manage a discount, how ’bout… forty?”



Her jaw tightened for a moment, then the fake smile came back. “For you, honey, yeah… sure.”



“I have to get the girl home. You gonna be around later?”



She frowned. “Yeah.”



I felt bad about what in essence was teasing her, and I guess I was still feeling bad about being mean to Barb. Out of guilt or pity, I’m not sure which, I pulled out my wallet. I was getting short of cash, but drew out a fiver and gave it to her. “Take a break, have a cup of coffee.” She had to have hit the skids, maybe a druggie with a jones on right now. Forty bucks seemed incredibly cheap for an hour of ‘anything.’ I didn’t see any tracks on her arms, but she might be shooting between her toes or god knew where. Maybe a crackhead. Her skin didn’t look that bad so I didn’t think she was using crank. Maybe she was just waiting for a trucker to trade for travel to get anywhere else in a hurry. Maybe escaping from her pimp?



The five bucks neutralized her frown but didn’t make her smile. She took the bill. “Thanks, honey.”



“Take care.”



“Yeah, you too.”



We walked to the truck. I opened my door first this time, got in, leaned to the passenger door and unlocked it. Lana climbed in and I started the engine. I headed for the interstate ramp.



As we got on the highway Lana spoke, “So… so she charges sixty dollars for a… a half and half.”



“No, she charges forty bucks for an hour of anything a guy wants to do.”



“You mean like… like anal too.”



I guess I wasn’t surprised that she knew about anal. I figured all teenagers nowadays knew about anal. The internet had everything on it. “Yeah, maybe more than that.”



“Like… what else is there?”



“B and D, spanking, all sorts of stuff.” I didn’t really think it included any of that. The chick had meant suck, fuck, and butt.



Lana looked out the door window for five minutes, then she took off her boots and stuck her feet on the dash, her usual pose. I just had to look whenever I had a chance to get a furtive peek. I had a hard-on in the booth in the restaurant, imagining fucking her if she was a prosti. My cock was fully erect again, thinking about doing her ass now, slow at first, then rougher when she got used to it. Barb loved it pretty hard after her asshole got accustomed to my girth. I also had a taste for her little bitch’s cunt, for both my tongue and my prick. We barely said a word the rest of the drive to the house.


* * *I already had a couple beers and I needed something stronger to get through the evening, hopefully it’d make me doze off. That had been the plan, get loaded, swear to and at myself about the shitty day, especially the argument with Jim, get sleepy and fall asleep on the couch. Her staying home was fucking that up which made my day even worse. I finished the beer I had, rose from the couch and started towards the kitchen.



“Where ya going?” Lana asked.



I stopped and turned around. She had rolled onto her side, her legs shifted, one partially folded, her forearm and hand holding her head up. The pose accentuated every curve of her slender body. “Kitchen. Why?”



“Are you getting something to drink?”



I exhaled. “Yeah.” She was blatantly prick teasing me, not only with her pose but she kept glancing at my bulge. I watched her eyes go there again and the tip of her tongue slowly travel on her upper lip from one corner of her mouth to the other, then back again. She had obviously seen too many lousy movies. Her eyes met mine once more.



“Since like I’m jus’ gonna stay here tonight, I was wondering if like I could like have a beer too, jus’ one.”



“I’m not getting a beer.”



“What are you getting?”



“Bourbon rocks.”



“Could I have one of those?”



My brain told me to tell her no, my dick said what the hell, give the little bitch a drink maybe she’d put on a better ‘floor show’ tonight. Bad days always put me in a ‘don’t give a damn mode.’



Her left eyebrow rose on her forehead and her mouth curved in a half smile. “It’ll be our little secret.”



My cock lurched all by itself at the mention of a secret. “Jus’… jus’ one… with water.”



“Mmmm… okay.” Her mouth formed a full but light smile. “Want me to help?”



“Yeah… sure.” I don’t know why I said that.



As she moved to stand, her shirt came up and I got a shot of the white cotton covering her snatch. It had to be a thong because I hadn’t notice any panty lines under her thin tank shirt covering her hot bottom.



When we got to the kitchen she really didn’t help, just waited, leaning forward against the counter while I put ice in the glasses, then she moved next to me, pressing her little, skinny body right up against mine as I poured the whiskey in my glass first. When I moved the bottle over to her glass, her arm went around my back, she turned slightly into me pushing one of her little tits into my arm, and for some reason I froze for a couple moments before I started pouring. It felt like my cock was about to explode from the extra blood pumping into it. As the amber liquid start flowing into her glass, her hand moved off my waist and she pushed my elbow up, making me pour more into her glass and spill some on the counter. I quickly lowered the bottle. “Goddammit! You made me spill it!”



Lana, giggling, grabbed her now substantial drink and said, “I’ll put the water in.”



It pissed me off that she made me waste at least a shot of booze, but my mind hadn’t been on what I was doing anyway. I added a bit more to my glass and screwed the top back on the bottle. I stiffened for a moment when she passed behind me and her hand dragged along my lower back near my ass. I turned to say something to her, but my eyes went to her bubble butt and my brain went blank again except for the vision of my cock pushing between those firm, pronounced buns. I told myself to get a grip. She was just pulling a con job on me, a fucking practical joke. Haha! We’ll get him horny all the time until he gives me my fucking allowance! I wasn’t ever going to give the little bitch a fucking allowance! I didn’t care if my fucking prick did explode from pressure!



“C’mon, wha’s keeping you?!”



I took a gulp from my drink and again told myself to relax. It was just a silly and stupid teenager teasing me. What was the big deal? She was just getting some payback for what she viewed as me being a tyrant, or asshole, or mean son-of-a-bitch. Who cared? And I’d beat off good tonight. I liked her little fuckin’ body. I was getting a little show for free. Of course I wanted the full monty, but what the hell, beggars can’t be choosers. I took another sip and made my way back to the couch.



I sat down. Lana was sitting on the pillow, not fully on it, just her ass and thighs. She was facing the couch. Her slender legs were in a loose pretzel configuration, her feet and calves on the floor. Her tank shirt was stretched across her thighs. I had an unimpeded view of her little white panties covering her twat. She took a drink and I glanced up from her cunt. Her eyes were definitely on the throbbing lump in my lap. I took a drink too. She moved, knee walking over to the end table.



“Mind if I surf and look for a movie or something?”



“Nah… go ahead.” She got the remote, knee walking back to the pillow, stopping at the midpoint to sip her drink, then finishing the trip. She set her glass on the floor and went down on all fours. She moved the pillow a few inches, her ass pouting right at me. She lowered her torso towards the pillow, accentuating her apple ass even more, then slid her legs back and straight, slowly lowering her hips to the floor. Her chest was propped up over the pillow, held up by her elbows. It curved her back and made her ass look even more pronounced. She started slowly channel surfing. My eyes weren’t on the TV. My cock was throbbing, my gut was tensed, my mouth was salivating.



“Oh… that Terminator show is on. I don’t think I saw this one. I guess they’re showing the reruns during summer. Wanna watch it?”



I only vaguely heard her. I was watching the porn vid in my mind, starring me and the little bitch.



Lana twisted onto her side. “Wanna watch this?”



I drew my eyes away from her ass. That smug smile was on her mouth again. “Huh?”



“‘Terminator,’ the TV show. Wanna watch it?”



“Uh… yeah, whatever. Put on whatever you wanna.” I took a good pull from my bourbon rocks.



“‘kay.” She turned and took a long drink from her glass. She set it down and did a little hip grinding to get comfy on the pillow. “You think she’s hot?”



“Huh?” I finally looked at the TV. “What?”



“That Asian-Am… maybe Amer-Asian chick. You think she’s hot?”



“Uh… I don’t know… yeah… yeah, I guess.”



“I don’t think her bod’s all that hot, her legs look too thick to me, but she comes across as really hot. I guess that’s wha’ counts.” She raised her glass again and took another sip.



My eyes went back to her ass. Over the next forty minutes the show got better, some twists, some stretches, some back and forth of her legs. We both were bending our elbows pretty fast too. Her big drink was nearly finished, so was mine.



Lana picked up the remote and lowered the volume to barely audible. She turned onto her side, her top leg folded a little, as before it accentuated every curve she had. I finally looked at her face.



That smug smile was back on her mouth. “I bet you’re jus’ as horny as Barb, maybe more ’cause you’re a guy.”



I knew I wasn’t thinking very clearly, or more accurately, I was doing most of my thinking with my dick. She knew she was driving me nuts. I was getting sick of her freakin’ game. I wasn’t going to admit how damn horny I was! “Go… go an’… an’ put some goddamn clothes on, some… some shorts, or somethin’.” I took another gulp from my glass. It was almost empty.



“You know, I could help you with that.”



“Help me with what?” I was at least partly in the bag and with my dick doing most of my thinking, I couldn’t take my eyes off her hot body. I don’t think I ever wanted to fuck any chick more than I did her at that moment. I had no idea what she was talking about.



She giggled softly. “You know, with being horny. I… I could help you not be horny, you know, like… for a price.”



“Huh?” I wasn’t really sure what she had just said. It couldn’t be what I thought I heard. I forced my eyes to her face. My brow pinched. “Wha’ the hell did’ja jus’ say?”



She maneuvered on the floor so her head was towards me. Her lithe body rose onto all fours. She crawled closer. Her tank shirt drooped. I could see both her little breasts. Her nipples were taut. They looked like light pink raspberries.



“You could pay me to hook up with you.” She looked at my bulging crotch. “I know you’re horny. I know you think I look hot. You said so in tha’ truckstop.”



My brain was reeling. I don’t know why, but I chuckled then said, “Oh… so… I’m gonna pay you for sex, huh?”



She moved closer and got into a kneeling position nearly between my legs. She placed her palms on my thighs close to my knees. “Uh-huh.”



I forced a laugh out again. My mouth was on autopilot, maybe I thought I was playing along, teasing her back. “An’… wha’d'ya charge?”



“A… a hun’erd dollars for a… for an hour of half ‘n’ half.”



Again I chuckled. “Honey, I can get anything from that chick at the truckstop for forty bucks.”



“I’m… I’m better looking than her and… and younger.”



I let out a huff of air. My cock was throbbing. My blue balls were screaming in pain. I’m not sure but there might have been a vague voice in the back of my mind shouting at me to shut up and walk away. If there was, I didn’t understand what it was saying. “She was hot, and… I’m sure she knows her job.”



“I… I’m not a virgin.”



I hadn’t thought she was but it was nice to have confirmation. I was a bit too loaded to note the slight hesitation. She had lost her cherry but that hesitation might have meant she hadn’t repeated the process too often. “I figured.”



“I give good beejays.”



“Beejays?” I knew what she meant I just wanted to hear her say it. My hand moved, then stopped. I had almost squeezed my throbbing cock.



“Oral sex. Don’t play dumb. You know, blowjobs.”



I couldn’t tell if the expression on her face was embarrassment, fear, anger, or possibly pride. Maybe all four? I was tempted to ask her for affidavits proving she gave good head. “You been doin’ this long?”



Lana’s brow pinched. “Huh?”



“Well… a hun’erd bucks is awfully steep for a novice, no matter how many amateur beejays you’ve done. That babe at the truckstop, said anything for forty. Anything meant anal, B ‘n’ D, spanking, all that stuff. You’re gonna hav’ta do better ‘n’ a hun’erd for a halfsies.”



Lana pursed her lips. She turned around then crawled on all fours to her drink. I wasn’t so drunk not to know that she was displaying her fuckin’ hot ass for me, teasing me, showing me the merchandise. She sat down, picked up her glass and finished off the mostly bourbon, bourbon and water. “I… I foun’ out that anything di’n't mean stuff like that. It means… anything with your dick or mouth or hands. Not B&D and S&M. So… so don’ try to fool me ’bout tha’.”



“Who tole you that? Have you tole anyone ’bout this? You offerin’ sex to me?”



Funny, but I didn’t have one thought of Barb, it was as if she didn’t exist. I asked the questions because of another little voice somewhere in the back of my alcohol clouded brain reminding me that it wouldn’t be good if anyone knew. At that moment, I wasn’t sure why that was though.



“No. I’m not an idiot. I… I wouldn’t tell anyone. I’d… I’d be too embarrassed to say I let you fuck me. I… I found out that stuff… on the internet.”



If I had been a little more sober, I wouldn’t have believed her about not telling anyone, about anything she had just said, and where on the internet would you find out what ‘anything’ meant when spoken by a hooker? Maybe chatrooms? But I was pretty loaded and anyway ninety per cent of my thinking was going on between my legs, not between my ears. So, I believed her about it all. “Okay… maybe I was wrong ’bout the bondage thing.” I knew ‘anything’ only meant suck, fuck, and butt. I sipped my drink. I saw her jaw clench.



“Okay… seventy-five for a half ‘n’ half.”



I smiled then chuckled. “I can’t afford that. You gotta do better, baby.” She rose from the carpeting with her glass in hand. “Where you goin’? Negotiations over?” There was a small part of me, a microscopic part of me that was hoping she’d go to her bedroom, slam the door shut, push the lock button on it, and then never speak to me again.



“I’m gonna get another drink.”



“Hey… you didn’t ask. You can’t have anymore booze.” After she passed me I gave my aching cock a squeeze.



“I don’t care what you say. I’m havin’ another.”



I realized I didn’t care what I said anymore either. I took another gulp from my glass. I listened carefully thinking she might call one of her asshole girlfriends to discuss the negotiations. All I heard were the freezer door opening and closing, ice clinking, and a bottle nearly being dropped onto the countertop.



I got up and went to the kitchen too. We passed midway. She was walking and drinking. I didn’t turn my head to check out her ass. I poured a few fingers, added ice, then poured an aditional couple fingers. I went back to the living room. She was sitting on the pillow still facing the couch. She had turned off the TV and had the CD player on low, some chick singer. I sat down and didn’t hide where my eyes were looking– right at her panty covered pussy. I took a hefty drink of my bourbon rocks.



Lana took sips of her drink as she looked from my crotch to my face over the next couple minutes. I just gazed at her body and more or less matched her sip for sip.



“Well?” She said. “A hun’erd for a half ‘n’ half.”



I looked at her face and grinned. “You think I’m drunk?”



“I don’ care if you are.” She took another sip from her glass.



“A few minutes ago, the price was seventy-five.” I saw her brow pinch. I could see she had forgotten.



“‘kay. Seventy-five.”



Somehow my brain worked my mouth for a few moments. “You know what I liked best about that chick at the truckstop?”



Lana frowned. “Wha’?”



“It’s not jus’ that she was cheaper, I knew I could trust her.”



“Oh gawd. You’re not thinking about Barb are you? I’d never tell her, an’… an’ like I said, I’m not gonna tell anyone. I’d be too embarrassed.” She took a swig from her glass. It seemed she stared at the bulge in my crotch while she swallowed. “I thought you guys would be on a break. I mean like wha’ does she ‘spect you to do, not get any for like five years?” She smiled then giggled and looked into my eyes. “Yeah… I thought you guys would be on a break… a prison break.” Lana laughed. “Get it? A prison break?” She laughed again.



My brow pinched. Finally I thought about Barb. What the hell did Barb expect me to do for three to five years? Why should I be forced into celibacy because of her fuckin’ mistake? We sure as hell should be on a break, right? That’s only fair. I didn’t do any criminal act. She did! I’m supporting her fuckin’ kid. What the hell am I getting out of it but grief from both of them! I wasn’t going to become a fuckin’ priest for five fuckin’ years!



I guess I forgot about the possibility of conjugal visits.



“So… you’re gonna keep your mouth shut, huh?”



“I jus’ said I would.” She took another drink. “Seventy-five for half ‘n’ half.”



“I want a triple play, and a cheaper price. I keep thinkin’ ’bout that chick sayin’ forty bucks for an hour of anything.”



“I knew you’d want anal.” She bit her lower lip for a moment, then took a gulp of her drink. “Anything for…. for sixty dollars.”



“That truck stop chick said forty.”



“For me it’s sixty. That’s twenty for each thing.”



I took another swig of my bourbon rocks. “I might need more than an hour. I’m half smashed. It all takes longer when you’re drunk.”



“No it doesn’t.”



“Jeezuz… okay-okay… Fifty for anything for one hour.”



A smug, triumphal smile curved her mouth. “Okay… deal.” She started to take a drink, then pulled the glass away from her mouth. “Wait! You tricked me! I said sixty!”



Even half smashed I smiled at her use of ‘trick.’ “No, you just agreed to fifty. I’ll give ya fifty.”



“No I di’n't!”



“Then… screw it. Give me the remote.” I pretended to drink more bourbon while I held out my hand. I was holding my breath, leaving the glass perched in my mouth.



Lana’s jaw clenched. “Okay… fifty, but it’s only an hour. Not a minute more.”



I lowered my glass but kept it near my mouth. “What if I don’t like it? What if you don’t perform good enough. You gotta get into it, ’cause I know you could just lay there like a sack of flour. If that’s the case, I could save my cash and screw my pillow.” I finished off my drink.



“I… I’ll perform. I won’t jus’ lay there. Fifty for… for all three things an’… an’ tha’s a… a one time only price.”



I lowered my glass and stared at her. It finally hit me that I was going to fuck her for fifty dollars. I blinked. I suddenly didn’t have a single relevant thought in my head.



“So… where d’ ya wanna do it? An’… an’ you should give me the money firss’.” Lana started to stand up. She looked a little wobbly.



I watched her rise and step closer to me. I looked at her legs as my arm moved automatically, my hand went to the back pocket of my jeans. I blinked again. My wallet wasn’t there. I looked at her face. Surprised there wasn’t a smug smile on her mouth. She was either angry or scared. I was too far in the bag and my brain wasn’t working very well so I didn’t bother trying to interpret her expression. “My wallet… my money’s in the bedroom. I’ll get it.”



“I’ll… I’ll make us two more drinks. ‘kay?”



“Uh… yeah, sure.” I gave her my glass, she turned and leaned down to pick up her empty tumbler. I looked at her pouting ass as I stood up. It made me remember my throbbing hard-on. I headed to the bedroom and Lana went to the kitchen.



I turned on the tea lamp on Barb’s dresser, then picked up my wallet from top of the chest of drawers. I looked in it. There was only eighteen dollars. I hadn’t cashed my paycheck. I usually did that on Saturday mornings if I wasn’t too hungover. I glanced at the doorway, then stepped over to the closet and opened the right side bi-fold door. I licked my fingertips, then reached inside, up to the top casing. I had routed out a segment of the casing to be able to hide a business size envelope in it, just a quarter inch of it showed the top. I pushed it up with my moist fingertips and got it out. I had five hundred bucks in it, ten fifties. Emergency money. I took one out, a new crispy one. I closed the envelope and reached up to get it back in the casing slot.



“Wha’re’ya doin’ in the closet?”



I looked at the doorway. Lana was holding one bourbon rocks in her left hand, the glass nearly full of ice and booze, her right hand was holding another that she was drinking, her head titled back a little, her eyes on me. I should have closed the goddamn bedroom door. “Lookin’ for… somethin.’”



She lowered her glass. “Is ‘at my money?”



I closed the closet door. “At the mo’, it’s still my money.”



A frown appeared on her mouth, but only for a second. “You wan’ your drink?”



“Yeah.” We walked towards each other. I took the glass and had a big gulp. I wondered how much was left in the bottle. I went to the bed. I hadn’t made it, I never made it in the mornings. I did it at night if the comforter and sheet were half kicked off the bed. I sat on the edge of the mattress and raised the glass to my mouth again.



Lana bit her lower lip for a moment. “So… we’re… gonna do it in here?”



“Yeah. We’ll… we’ll start in here.” I wasn’t sure why I said that.



Lana giggled softly. “‘kay.” She took a long sip of her drink then walked towards me. She held out her hand. “So gi’ me my money firss.’”

My cock was throbbing, my balls were screaming in pain. I knew I was thinking with my dick. I knew I was going to fuck the hell out of her, but my hand with the bill didn’t move. My brain was trying to tell me something, so was my gut. There was something like nervousness or fear churning inside, but my brain was too wasted to interpret any of it, and my dick was shouting to get the show on the road. Finally a sentence came out of my mouth, “Ya know, no one can know ’bout this. If you ca…”



Lana’s eyes grew large and filled with anger as she interrupted, “I tole you… I’m not gonna tell anyone.” She blinked and the anger drained away. Her teeth clamped her lower lip for a moment. She shook her open hand a few times. “Are ya gonna gi’ me my money or… or not?”



My arm moved by itself. I handed her the fifty. She yanked it from my grasp, then turned and stepped to Barb’s dresser. She took a long drink from her glass, then put the bill on the dresser and used her glass as a paper weight on top of it. She switched off the tea lamp then turned around. “So… so… wha’ d’ ya wan’ me to do firss’?” She blinked a couple times and bit her lower lip yet again.



I raised my glass and took a long drink, my eyes on her. At the moment she looked fourteen, skinny, biting her lower lip, her slender legs looking smooth as satin in the soft, dusky light coming in from around the closed window blinds. I set my glass on the bedside table, then switched on the lamp there. I wanted to see what I was fucking. I threw the top sheet and comforter over the end of the bed.



Her face tensed slightly. “You… you wan’ the light on?”



I looked at her. “Yeah. Come closer.” I saw her hands ball into fists for a moment as her teeth clamped her lower lip once more. Her thumbs and fingers moved as if she was trying to massage her palms. She took a deep breath, her hands loosened and she stepped closer to the bed, standing a couple feet in front of my knees. I looked at her crotch, still covered by the nearly see through men’s thin cotton tank undershirt. I realized she had taken off her panties. I could just make out her dark muff. “Take your shirt off.”



Lana hesitated for a moment, then crossed her arms in front of her, grabbed the thin fabric and raised her shirt up and over her head. She turned and tossed it onto the dresser, then faced me again. Her small breasts looked larger than I imagined, but were still little. Except for the thick muff around her cunt, she looked years younger than eighteen. I felt my cock get stiffer.



I gazed at her cunt. It was one of the prettiest pussies I had ever seen. The tops of her labs were already flared, like wings of a little butterfly. My tongue moved in my mouth. Her legs looked smooth, a gap between her thighs, her knees touched, then her calves almost touched, then her ankles touched. Her slender legs looked perfect, her ankles no longer seemed a half size too big. Her feet were little and attractive. I watched her toes curl on her right foot. I looked at her face. Her teeth were clamped on her lower lip yet again. Her pretty eyes were open wider than normal. I wasn’t sure but she looked nervous, maybe even scared.



“So… so wha’ d’ ya wan’ me to do firss’?”



“Jus’… jus’ turn around for me right now, all the way around.” She did a quick 360. I exhaled. “Do it again, slowly.” She did it again, very slowly. I gazed at her ass and her contours. She did look young but had womanly curves. She really did seem to be shifting between fourteen and eighteen right before my eyes. She definitely had a killer ass, and my cock throbbed harder as I thought about shoving it into her hot little asshole. When she finished her turn, I stared at her cunt. I licked my lips.



“So… wha’ d’ ya wanna do firss’?”



“I… I wanna lick your pussy.”



Lana blinked a couple times. “You… you wanna lick me? Lick my pussy?”



I looked at her face as I stood up. I wasn’t sure what her expression was. It seemed both scared and surprised. “Yeah. Sit on the edge of the bed.” I moved to the side and Lana sat down. I stood in front of her, opened my jeans, then pushed them and my briefs down. My aching hard-on sprang out. I raised one foot and shoved the jeans passed it, then did the same with the other leg. I tossed them to the side. I pulled my T shirt up and over my head, adding it to the pile. I saw Lana’s eyes wide again. Her teeth were holding her lower lip once more.



Her voice was nearly a whisper, “Gawd… you’re… you’re big.”



I almost laughed. It was exactly what a whore would probably say! I knew I didn’t have a monster dick. I was average. Maybe a little thicker than average according to a couple chicks in my past, and Barb had said it too. Maybe Lana had only experienced below average size cocks.



I moved closer to her. “Lay back.” As she did I went down to my knees. My hands spread her thighs, then slid under her apple ass. I pulled her towards me so her hips were right at the edge of the mattress. My hands cupped behind her knees and I raised then folded her slender limbs up and back. Her knees were near her shoulders. She raised her head from the sheet and her eyes met mine. She still had that half scared, half excited expression.



I gazed down at her cunt. A moment later, her pink labia opened more, the butterfly morphing into a narrow, elliptical, exotic, little flower. Barb had a pretty cunt too, but her labs were thicker. Lana’s were thin, delicate. I think my mouth actually salivated. I stared at her slit realizing I hadn’t had my mouth on a cunt for eight or nine months. Hell, I hadn’t even seen a pussy in that amount of time. I shuffled back on my knees a bit, then my head descended.



I smeared my face over her little thick muff. I could feel her pink labs, already moist and slippery, licking my skin. Her hair was surprisingly fairly soft. I drew the tip of my tongue up from the bottom of her slit to her temporarily hidden clit. Her flower opened wider. I could feel her pearl firm beneath its thin hood. I flickered my tongue against the nub and pushed the hood back, then rubbed it firmly side to side. It felt large. Barb had a large one too.



“Mmmmhhhh,” Lana moaned softly. “Ohhhhh.” Her hips squirmed slightly.



Even though I was paying for it, I guess I was sticking to my usual fucking plan, maybe it’s more of a theory. Give the chick an orgasm first and then she’d put out better for you after that. To be honest, I get off on chicks cumming first. Not sure why. Maybe it helps me unleash my own needs later. I also really don’t know why exactly but I also like licking pretty cunts. I like it when the chick kisses back with it. It’s wanton, slutty. I like that. Lana tasted good too, clean, fresh.



My tongue slid from her pink pearl and wiggled as deep as I could push it into her channel. Jeezuz… she was incredibly tight, warm, and juicy. As my tongue swirled within her satiny, hugging hollow, her cunt started drooling more, or I salivated more, maybe it was both. I could feel it running onto my chin. Her hips churned harder. She pressed her cunt to my mouth. My tongue automatically became more ardent.



“Mmmhhh… oh… ohhhh gawd,” Lana murmured.



My eyes looked towards her head. She was arching her neck back. Her little tits were



rising and falling with each quick gasp of breath. I pulled my tongue from her gooey hole and frantically rubbed her big clit again.



A whimper emanated from Lana’s throat, “Oh… oh-h-h-h-h-hhh.”



My lips formed an “o” around her pearl. I sucked gently as the tip of my tongue flickered firmly on her taut nub. Through my hands and mouth, I felt her shiver, then she twitched a few times. I kept working her clit for a minute or so, then sucked her thin pink labia into my mouth, rubbed them with tongue, pushed them out, sucked them back in, rubbed them, then push them out. I kept repeating that for another minute.



“Oh… oh… ohgawd.” Lana’s neck arch collapsed. Her trembling head rose. Her mouth was open as she panted her breaths. Her eyes met mine for ten seconds before she couldn’t hold her head up any longer. It flopped back down to the mattress.



“Oh-h-h-h-hhhh,” she whimpered again.



I released her labs, stiffened my tongue and stabbed it into her drooling cunt. My right hand slid down the back of her folded thigh. She was smart enough to wrap her arm around her calve to hold it folded back herself. My hand moved down to her ass. My thumb found her hot little asshole. A stream of her pussy dew and my saliva had it all slippery. I coated my thumb with it as I stroked circles around and over her torrid squinting little hole. She tensed for a moment, but when my tongue went back to rubbing her clit, she relaxed then churned her hips with more abandon, pressing her cunt to my mouth. My thumb started pushing into her ass. She tensed again. I moved my thumb away, as my other hand pushed harder behind her knee, making her hips rise a fraction more. I slid my tongue down from her clit, through her warm, slippery slit, then laved her hot asshole with wet, broad strokes. Her body shook for five or so seconds.



“Oh! Oh gawd!” Lana’s eyes shut tight as her neck and back arched, pushing the top of her head into the mattress. “Urrrrrrrhmmmm,” she moaned.



I kept tonguing her little hole, but slid my thumb back to it too. I worked it with both for a half minute or so, then wiggled and undulated my tongue into her cunt again, as my thick digit kept rubbing and circling her slippery asshole. There was gel lube in the drawer of the night table, but I didn’t want to stop to get the damn tube.



I pulled my tongue out of her and raised my head a little. “Hold both your legs back for me.” I watched her wrap her other arm around her right calve. She pulled both her legs back, farther than I had them. It raised her hips a fraction higher.



I shifted slightly to the side. My tongue concentrated on her big pearl. My newly freed hand pushed between her thigh and chest. I fondled her little tits as my other hand moved again. I wiggled my ring finger into her wet cunt and let more of my saliva drool down between her labs as I pulled it out, coating it more. I moved the tip of that finger to her squinting little hole and pressed gently at the apex of her anus while wiggling the digit. I kept my tongue working her clit, almost as if I was trying to erase it. I moved the tip of my middle finger to her channel and diddled at her opening. Her hips squirmed more intensely. The tip of my wiggling ring finger finally started to work into her hot asshole. I dipped my middle finger into her cunt. She started pushing towards it. I pushed on both fingers. She tensed probably because of the one barely stuck in her ass. I changed tongue strokes on her, slowing them, circling around the nub, sometimes pushing her pearl side to side. I heard her breathing get more ragged.



“Oh… oh gawd… oh… oh… mmmmmhhh.”



Her hips swayed and maybe she relaxed because both my fingers started sliding into her.



“Oh… ye… ye… yessssss….. mmmmmhhh.”



I started to slowly finger fuck her ass and cunt. After a dozen strokes she began trembling.



“Oh-oh-oh… oh gawd.” Her shaking intensified.



I don’t know why, but I really wanted to taste all of her again. I slowly withdrew my fingers, then laved my tongue down through her labs, all over her torrid little hole, then pushed it into her cunt, while both my hands played with her little tits, cupping, stroking, massaging, giving her raspberry shaped nipples little tugs and twists, nothing harsh, sometimes holding the small plaint mounds firmly as my thumbs petted and stroked over her taut berries.



My tongue went crazy, licking through her furry muff, stabbing into her drooling channel, even trying to push into her asshole a few times, but mostly wildly lapping away on her big clit. Her shaking increased, then she started twitching. A few moments later, I felt her hands hold the back of my head.



“Oh-h-h-h-hhh… oh-h-h… oh! Oh! OH! OHGAWD!”



The only way to describe it, was that Lana’s petite, slender body began convulsing. I pulled my mouth back. I didn’t want her to ram her cunt into my teeth. I did smear and stroke my face over her oozing slit and muff though. She was either having one hell of an orgasm or she was fucking faking it like an Oscar winner. It gave me an erotic rush just feeling her twitching and trembling, and seeing her little body out of control.



I waited until her spasms lessened, then licked her slit for another minute. She moaned again and shook harder during those sixty seconds. My hands slid up the backs of her firm, slender thighs to her knee pits again. I stood up. I was breathing heavily too. “Reach down… guide my cock in.” I wasn’t really going to fuck her yet. I wanted to do something that I loved doing after tongue fucking a cunt. Then a bit of sanity spewed out of my mouth without me even thinking it. “Do I need a condom, or are you on the pill?” I got instantly pissed at myself for asking. I didn’t want to stop for anything!



Lana swallowed a couple times as her hand gripped my prick. “I… I went on the pill a coupl’a months ago.” She looked at her hand and guided my dick to the wet opening of her twat.



I was instantly glad I had asked. I nudged the head in. Jeezuz… she was fucking tight.



“Oh god… you’re… you’re so big.”



Again I thought she was spouting bullshit. I had my legs spread and was leaning over her. It wasn’t the most comfortable position but I wasn’t going to be inside very long. I pulled back slightly, and pushed in a little deeper. Jeezuz… she felt sleek, satiny, perfect.



“Urrrhhh,” she groaned. Her hips began to sway. Her breathing was quickening again.



I pulled back a little, then pushed in again, swaying my hips too, going a little deeper. I kept repeating that over the next minute or so, until I finally pulled back nearly all the way out of her, then pushed in again sliding the full length of my throbbing cock into the tight confines of her slippery twat. I think I felt the head press against her cervix.



Lana twitched. “Ooh!” She started panting faster.



I churned my hips and grinded my muscle inside her and my groin against her pubis. It took a few moments before she started mirroring my movements.



She whispered breathlessly, “Oh gawd… ohgawd… you’re… you’re so big.”



I was looking down between our bodies, seeing that I was fully planted inside her cunt. I felt the tip rubbing against something deep in her. I realized then that I was at the perfect point of inebriation. I loved that point. I knew if I hadn’t been drinking, I’d probably be unloading my balls into her right now. Jeezuz…. her cunt felt perfect. Sometimes when I got too loaded, it was difficult sustaining an erection, but there was this, what I called the ‘perfect zone’ for fucking when drunk. Not so wasted it was difficult to stay hard, but drunk enough so I had to actually concentrate on shooting my wad. I knew at that moment, I’d be able to fuck the little bitch as long as I wanted tonight. I grinned, at least on the inside I grinned. I looked at her face. She was also watching our organs. “You like my cock in you, baby?”



Lana looked up. Her mouth was open as she sucked in breaths. She nodded.



My jaw clenched as I grinded my rod into her a bit more intensely. Her face winced then she panted faster and churned her hips harder. “I think it’s time you give me one of those famous beejays of yours. I want you to suck it…. suck it good, baby.”



Her hips squirmed even more intensely. She looked up at me as her brow pinched. “Right… right now?” She panted a few breaths.



“Yeah… now, baby.”



“Yeah… yeah… ‘kay.”



I slowly pulled out of her comfy snatch, then let her legs unfold as I stood straighter. I had pushed her farther onto the bed. Her calves lowered against the side of the mattress and box springs. I noticed her little feet didn’t quite touch the floor. She slowly sat up. She reached for my prick. Her delicate hand wrapped around the base.



She whispered, “God… you’re so big.” She leaned forward and engulfed the head. She sucked as her tongue laved around the helmet.



“Urrrrrh…. ye-ahhh.” I couldn’t help moaning. It had been a long time. I was in need. I liked knowing she was tasting her own cunt juice on my cock. That’s one reason I pushed it into her first, although I had really needed to feel it in her. Her pussy felt too perfect around my tongue. I had to know what it felt like around my prick. I almost hated to admit it felt fucking perfect, slick, smooth, tight, slippery, warm… fucking perfect.



I was tempted to fuck her mouth now, maybe even push my cock into her throat, but I guess I was thinking there’d be a ‘next time,’ and I didn’t want to scare her, plus I only rarely got into that pushing down their throat crap. I usually wanted the chick to do it on her own. At least try it. Do a little payback for me tongue fucking their cunts so well. My hands did gather her hair from the sides of her face though as I leaned to the side to watch as well as I could. I realized I should have told her to kneel down. I liked that too, the chick kneeling, that also gave me a little erotic rush.



“Take as much as you can… deep… take it deep.” I wanted to see what she’d do. She held me tightly and tried. As soon as the helmet got to the back of her tongue, her gag reflex kicked in. She coughed and I yanked my dick back. I didn’t want her puking on me. She pulled her head back, coughed and swallowed a few times. She then shocked the hell out of me.



She took a couple quick breaths. “Sorry… I’ll… I’ll try again.”



I think that was the first time she ever said sorry about anything. Her face moved towards my cock. I stepped back. “Not here. In… in the living room.” I was getting tired of standing. I really liked that she leaned forward more and gave the head a few circling licks before she let it go and stood up.



“‘kay.” Lana swallowed a couple times and licked her lips, then wiped them with the back of her hand.



“Take your drink with.” I grabbed mine from the bedside table.



“‘kay.” She got her glass and took a gulp, then walked out of the bedroom.



I walked behind her to the living room. She definitely had a killer ass. I gave my throbbing cock a squeeze as I imagined it sinking into her tight, little asshole. In the living room she set her drink on the end table. I put my glass there too, then headed to the armchair and sat. “Kneel down, and start suckin’, baby.”



She didn’t hesitate. She knelt between my knees, grabbed the base of my prick and engulfed the head again. Her hand started stroking, meeting the “O” of her mouth sliding down. I gathered her hair again with both hands to keep it out of the way, then held it in one like a pony tail in back of her head. She sat back on her legs, her hand angling my throbbing rod down a little, and then as her head kept bobbing, she gazed at me with upturned eyes. She looked fourteen again, and if I hadn’t been in the ‘zone,’ I probably would have pumped my load then and there.



I started thinking about how perfect it felt inside her tight cunt. She was also sucking pretty well. For a few moments I felt like a kid in a candy store, not knowing what hole I wanted most. Her eyes closed as she sucked the head of my prick hard as her tongue laved around it. Her free hand started roaming my abdomen and chest. For a very brief moment I thought of Barb. She liked feeling my abs and chest when she went down on me. Lana started bobbing again and the thought of Barb vanished.



I watched the tight “O” of her liplock slide up and down the top portion of my cock as her hand stroked up meeting the downward wash of her wet, warm mouth. Sometimes she’d loosen the “O” and let some of the mix of her saliva and my leaking semen drool down my rod, lubrication for her stroking fist. Her thumb couldn’t touch her fingertips, so maybe to make up for that, she’d twist her hand sometimes to rub the entire girth of my throbbing prick. Maybe that gave her the idea to bring her other roaming hand to help with the job. She sucked the head and part of the rod fairly hard as her tongue laved the helmet then both her hands wrapped around the staff, twisting around in opposite directions on my now slippery circumference. She sucked harder. I shut my eyes at the wonderful sensations, my gut tensed, then my ass, then the rest of my body as I pushed up in an autonomic response to her stimuli.

“Urrrrhhhhhhh,” I growled.



“Mmmmmhhhhh,” she hummed, the vibrations of that went right into my cock and made me take a sudden giant leap towards unloading my balls into her hot mouth. I hated to admit it, but she did know how to give good beejays. I opened my eyes and gazed at her. Her eyes turned upward again. I again had that taboo impression of her being younger than she was, and once more it almost made me shoot my load. I didn’t want to cum yet. I wanted to fuck the hell out of the little bitch.



I growled, “You’re making me… wanna fuck you, Lana.”



“Mmmmhhhh,” she hummed once more. She pulled one twisting hand off my rod which moved to my abdomen, it formed a claw and she dragged her fingernails over my hairy torso. Her other hand started jerking me off again, as her head resumed bobbing. “Mmmmhhhh,” she moaned yet again. The vibration nearly pushed me to the brink again.



I released her hair then my palms held the sides of her head. I nudged it up. She responded by a downward pressure, increasing her sucking and jerking her hand faster. I wanted to fill her mouth with jiz but not before I filled her tight little cunt. “No… no… stand up. I’m gonna fuck you now.” She sucked even harder then a few seconds later she let go of my rod and jerked her head up. POP! I flinched as my dick recoiled from her mouth. It bounced against my abdomen. “Urrh… jeezuz.” I gasped a couple breaths, then said, “Stand up.”



Lana swallowed a few times, then she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She gripped my knees and pushed up to stand. I noticed her eyes wide and her small breasts heaving with each of her quick breaths. She took a step back as I stood.



I moved over to the end table by the couch. I handed Lana her drink. I picked up my glass. I finished it off. I’m not sure why I did that. I was more than half wasted already. I had that kid in a candy store confusion again. I tilted my head back to get the last drops. I set the glass on the table, and looked at the arm of the couch. It was one of those couches where the arms were as high as the back. I hated those couches, I liked the arms lower, but they were good for one thing. I pushed the end table away. The lamp teetered for a moment, the cord tightening to the floor outlet under the couch. I turned and saw Lana’s head tilted back getting the remnants from her drink. When she lowered her glass I took it from her hand and put it on the end table.



I looked at her. “C’m'ere.”



“Huh?” Her brow pinched for a moment, then her mouth formed an inebriated smile when my hand firmly but not harshly gripped her slender upper arm. “You’re… you’re gonna kiss me?”



That thought hadn’t occurred to me. I was going to fuck her little, tight cunt, fuck it rough, ravage it good and thoroughly. I wanted payback for all her fuckin’ bitchiness. “Yeah… c’m'ere.”



I didn’t have to pull her. She was in front of me in an instant. I let go of her arm and her hands held my shoulders. She moved closer sandwiching my throbbing rod between us. She had that fourteen year old face on again, her expression a mix of… of what? Fear? Fear and excitement? Her teeth clamped her lower lip for a moment. My arms went around her. Her lip slipped out from under her teeth. Her mouth opened slightly just before mine met hers. My tongue slid between her parted lips and her mouth immediately opened wide. I was surprised how our tongues began dancing wildly, as if we had done it before. I pulled her closer and she pressed her little body into mine. She squirmed slightly, pushing and stroking my cock with her abdomen. I could feel the top of her furry muff touching my aching balls. My hands slid down to her bubble buns. I squeezed them firmly and she exhaled sharply into my mouth.



“Mmmmhhh,” Lana moaned.



I was glad we were kissing. Her arms encircled my neck as she pressed her lithe form tighter to my body. I gripped the cheeks of her seductive bottom harder. Again she exhaled into my mouth but her tongue never stopped its Salome dance. I released one bun and dipped a couple fingers into her deep, warm valley. The skin there felt baby smooth. Two fingertips circled and stroked her hot little asshole. Lana tensed for a moment, then she pushed her chest into me more as her ass pouted towards my digits. Those little movements had me near the brink for a few moments. Was she thinking about getting her butt fucked? Would she like it as much as Barb? I broke the incredibly hot kiss at the thought of Barb. My head tilted to the side and I kissed Lana’s ear, then the side of her neck.



“Mmmmmhhh,” Lana moaned then started gasping breaths.



Her murmur pushed all thoughts of my wife from my mind. Both my hands gripped the cheeks of her ass harshly. She tensed for a moment then moaned again. My mouth moved to her ear once more. My voice was low and raspy, “I’m gonna fuck you, baby. You wan’ that? You wan’ me to fuck you good?”



Lana was still breathing raggedly when she responded, “Yeah… oh god, yesssss.” She panted a few breaths, then added, “I’ve wannid… you to for… for so long… yeah… do it.”



In my booze hazy brain, all I heard was: Yeah. I loosened my grip on her ass. I growled, “Turn around.”



She was still panting breaths. “Huh?”



“Turn around,” I repeated, then put my hands on her slender waist and turned her to face the high armrest of the couch. “Bend over.”



“Huh?”



I held her waist with one hand as my other moved between her shoulder blades. I nudge her forward. “Bend over.” I almost added ‘bitch’ but didn’t.



Lana giggled. “Oh.” She leaned over the armrest. She giggled again when her little feet left the floor and her slender, almost skinny legs were hanging in the air. She spread them apart.



I put my hands on her ass again, then ran my right palm up her spine. It made her back dip into a sleek curve up to her neck. I gazed down at her bubble butt and leaned away to look at her cunt. Her thin pink labia were flared open. They glistened. My mouth salivated again. I slid my palm down her spine to her ass again, and both my hands gripped her buns and opened her valley. I saw her little, squinting, light pink anus tighten and relax, once, twice, then a third time. I could see the nub of her surprisingly large clit poking out from under its hood. It almost looked like a little cone shape at the moment. I had to swallow my saliva. Without thinking I kept my hands gripping her buns and knelt down, then sat back on my heels. A moment later my tongue was laving around her wet, slippery slit, then rubbing her taut elongated pearl. Her little body trembled in my hands and against my mouth.



“Ohhhhh…. oh gawwwwd,” Lana moaned. She pulled a throw pillow under her profile. Her hands clenched it tightly.



I lapped away at her clit and slit. Her pussy really was cute and pretty. So was her tight little asshole. I wasn’t thinking at all really. I was just doing. I was becoming an animal of lust. I liked getting to that point. Without a thought, my tongue slid up between her buns and I rubbed it around her hot little orifice like it was the sweetest candy. It tasted like nothing actually, skin and maybe a little pussy dew that had drooled down over it. I gave the sides of her baby smooth valley a few teasing nips.



“Ooh! Mmmmmhhh… yeahhhh,” Lana cooed.



I laved my tongue around her asshole a few more times, then went back to her clit. As I flickered and rubbed my tongue against it, I again realized that I had paid her for sex and I was acting as if she had paid me. I pulled my face back. My hands gripped the cheeks of her ass tighter, digging the fingertips into her firm flesh that instantly tightened.



“Mmmmhhh,” she moaned.



I gave her buns a few playful nips then pulled my face back again. My hands slid to her hips as I smeared my face over her seductive bottom. I growled into her flesh, “I’m gonna fuck you, Lana… I’m gonna fuck you good and hard.”



She was panting. “Uh-huh… mmmh… yeah… yeah, do me… do it to me.”



I quickly stood up. My hands pushed her a bit more onto the armrest. I grabbed my cock, and directed the head to her slit. I moved the tip up and down between her labs. It felt warm and slippery. I think I could actually feel her taut clit. My hand wiggled my rod so the tip rubbed back and forth in quick strokes over her elongated pearl. Her hanging spread legs shivered then trembled.



“Oh… oh-h-h-hhh gahhhhd,” Lana released a quivering moan.



I moved the head to the opening of her tight channel. I nudged the head into her wet warmth, then let go of my prick. My hand joined my other at her waist.



Lana was gasping breaths again. “Oh… ohyeah… yeahhh.” I heard her take a few quick, deeper breaths as I pushed just a fraction more into her tight channel. “Do it… do it…. oh god…. you’re… you’re so big.”



My jaw tightened at that repeated piece of nonsense. I almost rammed the entire thing into her as hard as I could, but didn’t. I wanted to feel every single inch of her tight cunt before I started fucking the hell out’a her. That little piece of bull about me being big, I figured one of her stupid girlfriends told her to say that to any guy she screwed, maybe they had come up with it in some laughing discussion about fucking guys. Her hips started swaying and moving back and forward. I knew what she was doing. Other chicks had mentioned it to me. She was rubbing her clit on the armrest. That was one reason I bent her over. The main reason was that I liked seeing a chick in that position, open, on display, and it was too awkward for them to move and protest much.



I pushed another inch in, she seemed to tense, then relax as I pulled back, then pushed in again a little deeper. She tensed again, stopped moving her hips. Jeezuz… she was so fucking perfectly tight around my prick. I pulled back a fraction, her hips started squirming again. I pushed in another inch deeper. Her body tensed yet again.



“Oh god… oh… you’re… you’re so big.”



My jaw clenched again. I remembered again I was paying her. She was playing her part in a very cliché manner, trying to play me actually, like I was some john — Oh you’re so big! I reared back then plunged my throbbing cock into her tight little cunt as hard as I could. Smat! My groin hit her buns. Her body seemed to recoil starting at her buns traveling up her torso and down her legs which bounced against the side of the couch.



“AH! Oh… gawd!”



I pulled back and rammed into her again, then started pistoning my ‘in the zone’ rod into her tight, juicy cunt over and over again.



“AH! Ah… oh!” Her body shook for a few seconds. After a dozen thrusts, her hips started moving forward and back, her ass shoving back as I plunged my pulsing prick into her depths. I wasn’t sure, but I think the head was punching her cervix every other stroke or so. From past experience, I know some chicks thought that was painful, other chicks loved it. I really didn’t give a damn what Lana’s opinion was about it. I drove my cock hard into her a dozen more times, then shoved it deep again, grinding my rod inside her and my groin against her ass. I liked watching her hips and butt churn crazily.



I was gasping for breaths too. “You like… like being fucked… by my cock, baby?”



“Mmmmhhh…. ye… ye… yeahhhh… mmmmh.”



I pulled back and shoved it in hard again. Her body did that little lurch. I grinded for a few seconds, then pull back slowly, waited a moment, then drove my hard spike into her depths and grinded once more. Her little body lurched again. I loved that.



“Ah! Oh… oh yeahhhh,” she moaned again.



I kept thrusting like that another five or six times. She’d always moan like a slut after each one. For a moment it made me think of Barb. Barb got verbal, and she always moaned like that too. I drove my prick into her perfect pussy again. Jeezuz… it really was perfect — tight, slippery, warm. It felt like smooth, slippery satin backed by extra firm foam rubber. I almost laughed at the thought, wondering if that’s how those toy cunts were made. As I grinded into her I felt her channel constrict even tighter around my throbbing prick. It now felt like muscle behind the satin.



I shut my eyes tight as I again felt myself suddenly at the brink of shooting my load. Her hips churned harder, so did mine.



It was my turn to moan, “Urrrrrhhh… fu-uuuuuck.” I opened my eyes and turned my face to the side, concentrating on delaying my ejaculation, wondering where my ‘zone’ had gone. I saw the big tube of Lana’s hand lotion. She had about four of different brands that migrated around the house. It was the stuff I often stole from her. Some Norwegian hand lotion that was actually really good for chapped dry hands. My hands were usually like that from the construction work, even in the summer, but mostly in the winter when I was lucky enough to be working. It really healed the cracks in my skin. It was also probably 70% petroleum jelly.



I leaned to the side and grabbed the tube. I kept grinding my prick into her as my other hand moved from her waist. I unscrewed the top, then squeezed a large dollop of the thick gel just above the crack of her ass. It came out in a long thin string. The hole in the top had a very small diameter.



I tossed the tube on the end table, it bounced and landed on the floor. I pulled back on my cock and rammed it into her again, grinding my hips as she did likewise. I smeared my thumb in the dollop of gel, then gathered the rest of it on the tip. My other hand gripped her bun, opening her valley. I rubbed my gelled thumb on her hot, squinting, little asshole. She tensed for a few seconds.



“Mmmmmmhhh,” Lana murmured and then her hips resumed squirming.



I pulled my cock back, then instead of ramming it to her depths, I slid it in slowly, as I had the first time, feeling every sensual inch of her tight channel. I kept doing it like that as my thumb worked her other tight hole. Lana’s hips kept moving as they had been, forward and back on the armrest, sometimes side to side, not slowing at all. She was rocking her clit on the armrest. I started wiggling and pressing the tip of my lubed thumb at the apex of her asshole. As the tip started to make her anus yawn, she tensed again. I slid my cock all the way in. “Push out with it.”



“Wha’?”



“Push out with your asshole.” Her body stayed tense but her rocking on the armrest started again.



A moment later her hips stopped moving. She spoke breathlessly, “Too much. It… it’s gonna hurt. Can’t ya jus’…”



I interrupted as I retracted my throbbing rod so just the head was in her cunt, “Jus’ push out a li’l. If… if you don’ like it… I’ll… I’ll pull it out.” I wasn’t sure if I would or not. I wiggled my thumb a little faster and pressed again but still gently. I felt her asshole loosen. My thick thumb started sinking into her hot ass. As the first knuckle passed her anus I slowly pushed my cock into her too. My undulating thumb disappeared into her ass, the wide knuckle at the base forcing her torrid little hole to form a slightly larger “o”.



“Urrrrhhhh…. ohhhh…. gawwwwd,” Lana groaned.



Her cunt gripped me like a vice, her asshole did likewise to the big knuckle on my thumb. Seeing her asshole grip and hearing her moan almost made me fill her cunt with all the pent up hot spunk screaming for release from my blue balls. I had to shut my eyes again and get control of the urge to shoot my wad. I felt her asshole loosen slightly, then her cunt relaxed a little too.



“Oh gawd… I… I feel so… so full…. you’re… you’re too b-big.”



I opened my eyes. I slowly pulled my cock back so only the head was in her pussy. I twisted my thumb in her ass. Her little hole and cunt tightened for a moment, then her hips slowly started rocking again. I kept my cock steady as my other hand pushed between her and the armrest. My fingertip found her taut clit.



“Oh… oh… oh-h-h-hh,” Lana started rocking faster. “Oh… ohgod,” she mumbled.



I pulled my thumb back, almost out, then pushed it deep again.



“Ooooooh,” Lana cooed. She rocked faster on the armrest.



I did that with my thumb four or five more times, then pulled it out. I moved that hand to her waist as my finger continued to shift side to side on her rocking clit. I started fucking her with short quick strokes of my cock.



“C’mon… c’mon,” Lana whispered between gasps of breath. “C’mon… do it… do it.” She tried to rock farther back.



I wanted to hear her say it. “Do what, baby? What do you wan’ me to do?”



“C’mon… do it.” She panted a half dozen breaths. “Fuck me… c’mon… fuck me.”



I rammed my cock into her. Her little body did that hot, jerking lurch.



“Oh! Yeahhhh… oh… oh yeahhhhh, c’mon… don’… don’ stop… c’mon… c’mon!”



She nearly screamed the last ‘come on.’ I didn’t piston her but fucked her forcefully, deeply, and with quick thrusts. Her body still lurched with each plunge, but not as much as before. In her awkward position she tried her best to shove her cunt back to meet my probing rod. Jeezuz… her cunt felt perfect around me. She was even getting more juicy. I wasn’t sure but I think my aching balls were wet from her. I started pounding her harder. I was starting to lose the ‘zone’ again, but I kept ramming her. I didn’t want to stop, not only because it felt fucking fantastic, but I wanted to make the little bitch cum again. I’m not sure why that was important to me, but I wanted her to cum on my cock. I started to think I might shoot my load first. A moment later, her little body started shaking.



Her voice was a warbling high pitched tone, “Ohhhh-h-h-h-h-h-h… nnnnn-h-h-h-hhhh….. oh…. oh… oh.. oh. Oh…. OH… OH GAAAAAAWWD! ARHK!”



Her body started convulsing then I felt her tight channel grip my throbbing prick on the next thrust. At her last little yelp, I shut eyes tight to keep from cuming myself, then her channel started going into spasms, contracting repeatedly, and I really thought I might pump my load into her. I fought the urge. I wanted to fuck her more. It took me ten seconds to push the urge back. I opened my eyes. I watched her squirm and twitch and shudder. I heard her panting, gasping breaths louder than my own. I pulled my hand from her cunt. Both hands gripped her narrow waist. I pounded my cock into her another ten times.



“Oh! OH GOD!”



I watched her body jerk and quiver harder, then drove my prick deep again and stayed deep. I swayed my hips, feeling her tightness, feeling the spasms of her pussy, like it was trying to milk the spunk from my balls.



She whispered between pants for air, “Cum… cum… in me… cum… c’mon… cum… cum in me.”



I was also sucking big gulps of air. “I’m gonna.” I swallowed a couple times. “In… in the bedroom.” I took a few more quick deep breaths. “A drink… then… then in the bedroom.” I slowly pulled my cock out of her comfy cunt. I finched when the now very sensitive head came out and my prick sprang up to nearly vertical. I let out a huff of air in lieu of a chuckle. I was really in the fuckin’ ‘zone.’



I gave her hot ass a couple taps, not spanks, just firm taps. Smat-smat. Her little body flinched, but then she giggled for a moment. “C’mon, get up.”



She swallowed, panted a few breaths, then said, “I… I don’ think I can.”



My hands slid down her back to her shoulders, then down her arms to her elbows. I pulled them down to her sides, her hands let go of the throw pillow. I gripped her arms and pulled her up, her spine dipped making her ass even more pronounced and the sight made me wish my cock was still in her. I would have done her right there, holding her like that suspended in the air, if my prick had been inside her. I had fucked chicks like that before. It was hot, I liked it.



Lana giggled as her pussy slid off the armrest and her little feet touched the floor. “I… I don’ know if I can stand.”



I pulled her up to a standing position. I still held her arms somewhat behind her as I kissed and licked her neck. She tilted her head to show me more neck. My teeth then clamped her ear for a moment before I rasped out, “Do ya wanna drink.”



She shook her head slightly. “No… I wanna make you cum. I wan’… you to cum in me.”



“I’m gonna, baby.” I gave her neck another sucking kiss, then let her arms go. She wobbled for a second then her hand gripped the armrest for support. I grabbed my glass and went into the kitchen. As I was putting ice in my glass, Lana came in with her glass. She rinsed it, put ice in, then filled it with water. She drank half, then refilled it. I poured my drink and downed a third of it, then grabbed her free hand and headed back to the bedroom, my stiff, nearly vertical, throbbing cock springing forward then back to my abdomen with each step.



The lamp was still lit on the bedside table. I let go of Lana’s hand, put my drink down, then propped up a couple pillows against the headboard. I sat down on the bed with my back to the pillows, slouched a little. I gripped my aching cock at the base. I looked at Lana. She was staring at my prick. My hand wagged it a few times. “C’mon, baby, get on it. You do some work for a while.”



Lana set her glass down next to mine. She put a knee on the mattress then surprised me. Her delicate hand grabbed my prick above my fist, she leaned down, her other arm went over my body, that hand planted on the mattress, her mouth opened wide and she started sucking my cock. I released an inadvertent groan, “Urrrhhh.”



Her little hand started twisting around my rod as she had done earlier. She sucked harder and her tongue went crazy on the head. I thought she wanted me to cum without fucking her more. Just as I was about to tell her to stop and get it in her cunt, she yanked her head back. POP! She giggled, probably at the sound, and then moved her hand higher, her thumb rubbed her spit and my leaking semen around the helmet. She pulled her other leg onto the bed, folding it, then raised it over my legs like she was trying to get on a horse from a kneeling position. She let go of my cock and crawled up my sides.



“How… I… don’… how should I do this?”



I was a little surprised she didn’t know how to do it. I figured I’d tell her the way I liked it best. “Put a hand on my shoulder, then squat over it, like a baseball catcher, grab it with your other hand and guide it in.” I let go of my rod.



Lana giggled softly as she moved into what I thought of as a really hot, slutty pose. As she moved, I again had that feeling I was with some much younger girl. The thought made my prick expand a bit more for a moment. I watched her align the head with her opening. I blinked. There was a thin, short line of pussy drool hanging from her slit. I had heard about that sort of thing happening but I had never seen it.



Lana must have seen it too. “Oh god… you made me so wet.” She giggled when she moved the head of my prick to catch the drool, then she rubbed it against her slit a few times. Her hips swayed as she tried to nudge the head inside. She pushed down with her hips and it almost felt like the head ‘popped’ inside her. “Oohh… god… you are so big.” Her hips swayed more and my rod started sinking into her warm slippery cunt again.



I almost rammed it up into her for making that fuckin’ stupid comment again, but I was enjoying watching her hips sway and my cock slowly disappearing into her tight pussy. Who knows, maybe she only had skinny, tiny dicks fucking her before this. It seemed even during fucking she couldn’t stop bullshitting and scamming.



I kept watching my cock and her cunt. I had a funny thought. It almost looked like her cunt was sucking my fuck muscle into her body, like it was eating it. I almost chuckled about that, but then it just felt too good. I watched her glistening labs disappear into my pubic hair and felt the “O” of her cunt kiss around the very base of my rod. I was sure I felt the head push against her cervix.



Lana, still watching between our bodies, mumbled, “Mmmm… oh god… you’re… you’re so deep.” She pushed down more and swayed her hips. She tensed for a moment, then squirmed harder. She exhaled her whispered words, “Oh gahhhhd.”



My palms held her hips. I nudge her up. We both watched my cock begin to appear again. Her labs seemed to pout outward, as if her cunt was licking my staff, or trying to keep it inside. When just the head remained, she reversed course and lowered onto to my throbbing peg again. Jeezuz… she felt fuckin’ perfect around my cock. Her labs kissed my groin again as her cunt tightened around my full length and her hips grinded and push down even more.



“Ohhhh… gahhhhhhd.” Lana shut her eyes and her body shivered for a moment, then her hips slowly rose again until the head was only left, then again she reversed movement, this time her tight pussy slid down my staff faster.



“Yeahhh,” I groaned, “Like that, baby. Like that.”



Lana increased her speed a little more, but after the tenth stroke down my rod she stopped although she kept squirming her hips. I was sure I could feel the head right up against the end of her tight channel. She didn’t seem to mind.



She spoke as she panted breaths. “My… legs. It’s… hard doing it this way. They… feel like jittery.”



“Move your legs so… so your kneeling, don’t let my cock out.” I watched her move one leg. My hands moved to her waist. “Lean forward when you get your other knee down.”



“Oh… yeah, I see.” She kept watching between us as she started rocking, caressing my cock in her pussy with shorter strokes. She closed her eyes for a moment. “Oh… oh yeah.” The strokes got a little longer.



I nudged her head out of the way with my own. I realized I hadn’t sucked on her little tits yet. Her pink nipples were standing taut, like two pink raspberries. My hands slid up her sides to her ribs. I pulled her down as I shoved my back up the pillow a little. I smeared my face over her small plaint mounds. Her nipples were hard. She surprised me yet again.



“I… I have li’l boobs.”



It sounded like an apology. I didn’t really care about big tits, although a couple chicks in my past had decent sized ones, and one of those girls really liked them treated rough, both her nipple and the whole tit. She loved it when I cuffed her wrists behind her back, made her kneel down as I sat in a chair at her side. I’d hold her hair in one hand, pulling her head back, making her spine and neck arch backwards. I’d French her mouth or suck on her neck while my other hand grabbed, squeezed and generally manhandled her tits. She loved to have her nipples clamped with my thumb and finger, twisted and pulled until she was whimpering from it. One time I slapped her right tit, a sort of an in the moment kind of thing. She loved it. I spanked her tits that night, and a couple other times before she dumped me about a month later. The slaps weren’t really intense though.



I sucked Lana’s nipples gently at first, rubbing my tongue on the firm nubs, kissing her breasts, sliding my mouth to her other tit, kissing, sucking, moving from one mound to the other. I started sucking harder.



“Mmmm… yeah… uh yeah,” she murmured as her cunt kept sliding up and down on my throbbing prick.



I drew more than her nipple into my mouth, more of her pliant flesh, then I clamped my teeth down a little, not really a bite, while my tongue rubbed her berry. I think she liked that because she moaned again and she started rocking faster on my cock, when I clamped and sucked her other tit, she shoved down ardently and squirmed her hips wildly. I felt her back dip more which seemed impossible to me, her breast pushed against my mouth tilting my head back on the pillow. I didn’t know she was that limber, like some incredible carnival rubber woman, although I should have noticed that earlier when I had her legs folded back. I bet she could get her calves behind her head.



Her mons was now in contact with my groin and her squirming intensified. I felt her hugging cunt squeeze tighter around the length and girth of my prick. I finally realized she was rubbing her clit on my pubic bone. I felt the tight sleeve of her channel giving my rod quick short strokes while her hips continued grinding like some possessed slut. I got my mouth around a nipple again, grating it with my teeth, then sucking it hard. Her body started trembling.



The tone of her voice was higher, “Ohhhh-h-h-h-h… ye-ahhh-h-h-h.” She panted a half dozen breaths. “Cum… cuminme…. oh god… c’mon-c’mon-c’mon… uhhh-h-h-h.”



I didn’t want to cum yet. I was enjoying it too much. I did want to feel her juicy twat cum again on my cock though. I moved my right hand from her thigh and slid it, palm down between our bodies, curling all the fingers back save for the middle one. The tip touched the root of my cock, I arched the digit slightly, and I felt her taut, pink pearl slide over it. She twitched, then shoved down so hard it seemed she wanted to get my balls inside her cunt. Her grinding hips started wiggling back and forth with more force and speed.



“Oh g-g-g-god! Cum… cuminme…. I hav… wanna… ha… feel… you… cum… c-c-cum… oh… oh… oh-h-h… OH!” Her body started shaking, then twitching.



I was sucking her right tit really hard. I could feel her cunt shivering, then I was sure it was doing that convulsing thing. Jeezuz… that felt good. I suddenly started to lose the ‘zone’ again. It was like her cunt was frantically trying to jerk off my cock. Her hips twitched a couple times, then her torso jerked up. My mouth stretched her small breast, there was a slurping and pop sound as it was pulled from my sucking mouth. As soon as it exited, a second jerk forced her little body forward this time. Her sternum rammed my forehead, snapping my head back, the rear of my skull banged against the headboard. A microsecond later there was a second thud. I figured her head had hit the wall. There were only a handful of times I had seen some chick orgasm that fiercely, Barb was a few of those. I had been on the verge of unloading into her cunt until she whacked my head.



Maybe her orgasmic spasm pissed me off, or maybe I realized again it seemed like I was servicing her, not the other way around. I had paid the little teasing bitch! Why the hell should I care if she got off?!



She was still orgasmic, on the downside of the peak, as I folded my legs on the mattress into a pretzel form and my torso rose to vertical. I pushed her onto her back, my arms moved quickly, shoving between the backs of her folded thighs and calves. The crooks of my elbows behind her knees began pushing her legs up and back so her knees were at her shoulders as I worked my folded legs back out from under her ass and lower back, making sure my cock didn’t slip out of her tight snatch. I sat back on my heels, then stretched one leg back followed by the other. I had her little body basically folded in half, her pretty, petite feet hanging in the air, like when I tongue fucked her pussy. I was going to pound my throbbing, aching fuckmuscle into her drooling little cunt until it emptied the load of spunk boiling in my aching blue balls.



Lana’s face looked dazed, or maybe it was frightened, or possibly that was just her well-fucked expression. For some reason, I wanted the little bitch to cum yet again for me, cum once more on my aching prick. I don’t know why. She was panting, gasping her breaths like a chased then cornered little animal.



I could feel her tight channel still quivering around my prick as I pulled back and rammed it into her. Her body lurched.



“Ah!” A pained expression came onto her face as I grinded my stiff rod into her.



I looked into her eyes and growled, “Play with your clit.”



“Wha’? Huh?” She kept panting breaths.



“Finger your clit. Do it.”



Lana had to shift and twist her shoulders to get her arm between her folded legs. I watched two of her fingers start rubbing back and forth over her pink pearl.



She closed her eyes and mumbled, “Oh-h-h-h gahhhhd.”



I decided to fuck her hard but slow, increasing the tempo with each succeeding plunge of my cock. I pulled back and rammed it into her, grinded for a moment, then pulled back slowly, then rammed deep again, another grind, then pulled back.



“Oh-h-h… I… I can… can feel it!”



I rammed it in again… pulled slowly back and again… again… again… I fucking hoped she could feel it. Where the fuck had she been the past… however long we’d been fucking?



“I… I can… I can feel it!”



My speed picked up. Jeezuz… her cunt was still wet and tight. It really was smooth satin. Fucking perfect. I increased the tempo of my thrusts. I saw her pull her hand away from her clit. I had told her to do that mainly for herself. As I rammed into her again, after her body lurched she raised her head to watch the next plunge then the next and the one after. I pulled back.



“Oh god… I can see it… I can see it in me! I can feel and see it!” She gasped a few breaths. “Do… do it slower… please… jus’… jus’ a few times.”



I figured what the hell, I’d give the little bitch what she wanted. I looked down at her cunt wondering what the big deal was about watching it. I mean, I liked to watch too, but it seemed she was seeing something for the first time.



I didn’t ram it into her. I pushed it in, but did the grind at the end. I blinked. I saw it too. Maybe I had seen it with Barb once or twice, and definitely with skinny Darlene back in college. I pulled my cock back then pushed it in slowly again. Yeah. Maybe it was the way I had her legs folded up and back, raising her ass off the sheet a little, changing the angle of my probing prick, and of course, her flat abdomen was almost concave really; for whatever reason, I could see my fucking prick bulge her abdomen, going in and coming out. She had felt it with her hand. It looked a little like that fuckin’ Alien movie, you know, the one where the creature comes exploding out of the guy’s stomach? I was a little too wasted to remember the exact times I had seen it before, I mean a chick’s lower abdomen doing that, not the fuckin’ movie, but, yeah, I had seen it before. I liked watching it now as I had with those other chicks.



I don’t know why but I kept slow fucking her. Lana and I seemed to be mesmerized by the quirky thing, you could even see it sway a little when I grinded it into her, or maybe that was her squirming, I’m not sure which. About the tenth stroke, as I watched the elongated hump forming under her skin again, I twitched when I got this flash vision of one of those fuckin’ alien monsters exploding out of her tummy. I had to shut my eyes and shake my head to make it go away.



That happens to me sometimes, like on the job, I’ll be on the roof, cutting excess OSB off the gable ends and I’ll suddenly see a vision of the circular saw binding, jerking back and slicing right through my thigh. I was surprised I flashed. That happened mostly when I was sober.



When I opened my eyes again, Lana’s head had flopped back, her hand was feeling and stroking over the subtle ridge above her mons. I stopped thinking about aliens and then started worrying I was loosing the ‘zone,’ not that I’d cum too fast, but it would be one of those extremely rare times, half wasted, when I couldn’t get my rocks off, even though my balls were screaming in pain, nor be able to get my hard-on to shrink. If that happened, I knew I’d not even be able to walk tomorrow unless I was bent over, my balls would be a step past ‘blue balls’ and be into ‘purple balls.’



I resumed fucking her at what I think of as a ‘normal speed.’ I looked down. Her two fingers were back on her clit, more diddling her pearl now than rubbing it. She shook for a few seconds and then moaned. Her head turned to the side and I saw her profile. For some damn reason, she looked fourteen to me again. I wasn’t sure I liked that anymore. I shoved it into her a little harder and a little faster. I thought about Barb for a moment. When I was in this dilemma and other times too, she’d talk filthy for me. We both loved doing that once in a while. I’d keep pounding her and she’d keep mumbling filthy shit or answering my filthy questions and it’d eventually get me off.



My voice was a breathless growl, “Do you like me… fucking you, Lana? Do you like my cock fucking your little cunt?”



“Uh-huh… uh-huh. Yessss… oh god yeah.” I saw her swallow then take a couple deeper gulps of air. Her body still lurching from the force of my thrusts, not as much as a few minutes ago though. “It… it hurt a li’l at firss’, but… then… oh god… it felt so good… so good. I di’n't think… it could.” More pants. “I… I wanna feel you cum… cuminme.” She then said something I didn’t think I’d ever hear from her. “Please…. please cum-in-me.”



I leaned down farther, forcing her folded legs down even more, her knees nearly level with and next to her shoulders. It raised her ass higher off the mattress. It didn’t seem to give her any discomfort, then I recalled how flexible she had been earlier. I started pounding her again, so fast and hard that I was driving her ass into the mattress so she was almost bouncing up to meet my next deep and hard thrust. I smeared my face back and forth over her little tits. I savagely sucked her nipples a few times. She whimpered twice. I kissed and sucked on her neck, then her shoulders, then back to her tits. I raised my head.



“Tell me again,” I growled. “Tell me wha’ ya want.”



“I wan’ you to cum. I’ve… wannid you to come in me for so long.” She gasped a couple breaths. “I wan’ you to cum in me like you do in her.” Another few gulps of air. “Cum…. cum. I wanna feel it… I wanna feel it so much. I wanna hear you like… with her… C’mon cum… please… please.”



I was huffing my own breaths so loudly and I really wasn’t paying attention much to her words, mostly just the erotic pleading tone, only really hearing ‘cum-in-me.’ I was getting off on it but wished she had more experience with dirty talk. I was on the way to shooting my wad though.



“I’m fucking you, Lana…. I’m fucking your sweet, hot, little cunt.” I pounded her harder. “I’m fucking your little… teenage…. tight… li’l twa….” The urge seemed to come out of nowhere. My balls tightened. I rammed deep into her, grinding viciously into her, pushing my face into her tits, then her neck. I felt the first dollop of spunk start to boil up from my nuts. It actually hurt a little, blue balls will do that sometimes. “You wan’ it, La…. URRRRH!”



My body stiffened as the first surge went up my cock. I could tell it was only a little spit that came out the tip, then the second surge immediately followed, really gripping my gut, and I knew as it spewed into Lana’s depths it was a freakin’ stream. “ARRRRRH!



Lana started shaking. “I… I feel it!” She tried to push harder against my groin, which was impossible, our bodies couldn’t have been pressed together any tighter than they were.



The third and fourth surges were streams too, not as much as the second one. The fifth and sixth shots were smaller but bigger than the first. I thought it was over and gasped a deep breath. I always seem to hold my breath when I cum. Maybe all guys do. When I sucked in air, I was surprised when my balls tightened again. I gripped Lana’s upper arms and pushed my face into her shoulder, as three more spasms shot through my prick. I think they were blanks, but even so they did feel good. “Ah… fu-uck!”



I think Lana whispered, “Oh my god. I can feel it.”

copyright ©2009 by A_Satori. All rights reserved.



[Author's note: This story is Part 2 of A Prison Break, which I recommend be read prior to the story below.]



[Acknowledgments: My thanks to Andrea4328 for her editorial input and especially her tutelage on comma splices in compound sentences, although some of it may have fallen on deaf ears. Her work on this story is greatly appreciated. Any mistakes remaining in the text are mine alone.]


****************I placed a doubled paper towel on the countertop to put the newly washed glasses on, there wasn’t any room in the high pile of dishes draining in the other sink. I bit the bullet and separated the previous washed glasses from the big pile, put those on the paper towel, then stuck in the newly washed dishes in the drainer. I looked at the clock. 7:58AM. I figured I needed to get some fuckin’ clothes on.



I quietly walked to the master bedroom and peeked inside. Lana had rolled over to face the opposite wall. I silently walked in, picked up my jeans, underwear, and T shirt, then went to the living room, pulled the damp towel off, and got dressed. There were a few small semen stains in my briefs. There had been semen leaks in all my fuckin’ underwear the entire previous week from either watching Lana’s tease shows or thinking about Lana’s tease shows. I picked up the towel and tossed it on top of the washer in the mud room.



I put more ice in my water glass and refilled it. I thought about making coffee but my stomach wasn’t feeling very well and I was too thirsty to drink coffee. I lit another smoke. I wondered how long Lana was going to sleep. I had to get my shit together. What the hell was I going to say to her? I sat at the kitchen table.



Well, I couldn’t fuck her again. It was wrong for a hundred reasons, a few vying for the top of the list. I didn’t want Barb to know for good, and for some selfish reasons. It would devastate her, emotionally it would kill her. She hadn’t done very well those first couple months drying out. Those visitations had been afternoons from hell. Would she off herself if she found out? My gut tightened yet again. I knew that answer was “yes,” at least a good possibility. How could I have fucked up so badly? Did I want to leave Barb? Did I want to divorce her? To have her divorce me? Can prisoners divorce their spouses? Locked up in prison, she’d be in utter despair if she found out I had fucked Lana, especially if she knew I had freakin’ paid Lana.



Jeezuz. Barb might reach some crazy conclusion that cutting off Lana’s allowance was my way of getting Lana to fuck me for money! Oh shit. Would she think that? I hadn’t done that! Yeah, I’ve been thinking about fucking her, especially the last week or so, but yesterday I was fuckin’ praying she would be out before I got home last night! I didn’t plan any of it, she did! She had the whole fuckin’ thing planned out!



It suddenly felt like the wind got knocked out of me. Last Sunday, going to that goddamn truckstop con whorehouse… that’s when she started planning it all. We talked about that one whore last night. Shit! Why the fuck did I stop there?! Did I subconsciously go there on purpose for her? So she’d see those prosties? Did I hope she’d get the idea?



I stared out the window over the sink and considered it. NO! I didn’t think anything like that! Did I? NO! I had a taste for that fuckin’ chicken and I didn’t want to go to some fast food joint she might have liked. That’s why I stopped there. How could I have ever thought seeing a few whores would make her jump to the conclusion that she should offer me sex for money?! I may stretch possibilities sometimes, but that would have been a fuckin’ colossal intellectual leap of fantasy, even if it was subconscious. Fuck subconscious! What the fuck does subconscious have to do with any fucking thing! If it was subconscious, I wouldn’t fucking know it, and I sure as hell didn’t think it consciously!



Why should I feel any of this is my fuckin’ fault?! What the fuck does Barb expect me to do for three to five fuckin’ years?! Become a priest?! The knot in my gut tightened yet again when I recalled thinking something like that last night. I pushed the thought from my mind.



Lana is the one who fuckin’ propositioned me. She’s fucking eighteen, that’s legal age in this fuckin’ state, in EVERY fuckin’ state. She fuckin’ teased me for three, four days! Like any whore on a street corner, hell, MORE than street walkers! She had the whole thing planned! She preyed on me, not the other fuckin’ way round! She knew I was horny and she made me even hornier, insane fuckin’ horny! She knew I was drunk, she knows I fuckin’ get half smashed nearly every evening some weeks, and she fucking goddamn well knows I don’t give a shit about anything sometimes when I’m half in the bag. She must have noticed that in all my fuckin’ arguments with Barb! She played me like she was a fuckin’ whore! Just like a fuckin’ whore!



I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I crushed the butt in the ashtray, then swept the ash that had fallen on the table top off the edge. If it was her fault, why the hell was I so fucking full of guilt about it? Because I was a weak fucking asshole, a drunk, and now a cheating fucking prick of a husband? I had vowed to myself that I would never… NEVER do that to Barb, even though I guess I thought she might do it to me. I had promised myself I’d divorce her before I ever cheated on her. If I couldn’t do that, then the broad wasn’t worth fucking.



Shit. Fucking shit.



I buried my throbbing head in my hands then rubbed my face and skull. Why couldn’t I just stop fucking drinking? Some days I didn’t drink at all, other days I’d plan to have one or two beers but then I’d drink an eighteen pack. Why couldn’t I just fucking quit?



It was my safety valve, that’s why. It was a way to release the pressure. And I didn’t do crazy shit every time I got wasted. Barb liked me drunk, she always said I was so funny, and so hot after I had a few drinks. We had fun at the bars, we had hot times in the bedroom too. Yeah, I’d wish I could recall every minute the next morning, but sometimes it was fun with Barb the following day filling in each other’s memory gaps of the night before, like hearing about some movie where you were the main character. When I was loaded, I didn’t worry about anything, I didn’t feel like some fucking shithead failure, the edges were taken off everything, for the most part.



Not always though. Sometimes it made me plain crazy or turned me into a mean son-of-a-bitch. That’s usually when I got into the fights. The next day it would scare the hell out of me sometimes recalling how I had done some crazy shit like driving the truck at 95mph, or how I made a fool of myself in some bar, or how I had really wanted to kill some asshole who had said some shit to me, or who I just thought was a fuckin’ prick. Half the fights I had been in had been me picking them. Maybe more than half.



After I met Barb, I had cooled it a little, but sometimes even Barb screaming at me to leave some bar instead of fighting, or physically trying to restrain me from duking it out with some fucking asshole in the parking lot, didn’t stop me. Once I shoved her away so hard in some bar, she fell over someone else’s table, which had the bouncer on me in a microsecond, holding me while the asshole I was about to fight, delivered a few fists to my face and gut as the bouncer dragged me to the door and pushed me outside. Barb came out and screamed at me for at least five minutes, the bouncer standing at the door watching. Then in the car, she sobbed between shouting tirades at me all the way home, telling me that if I ever shoved her like that again, she’d kick me out of the house and never have anything to do with me again.



I never planned to get drunk. No, that’s a lie. Of course I did. The thing was, I never planned to be an asshole. Yet if I was honest with myself, which sometimes I can’t manage, I probably knew or at least could feel the nights I was going to end up in a shouting match with some prick in a bar, or worse. It was usually after a lousy day, a day when I’d lose my “sober” temper during the day. Sometimes my fuckin’ goddamn anger just exploded. Half the time I didn’t even know why.



Sometimes on the days I felt it brewing, I could keep it under control, other days, it really did just explode. It would truly surprise me, like some terrorist bomb had just detonated. There was never any conscious decision to go off on some prick. Like at that truckstop with Lana. At first I really was about to throw a punch at the guy, who undoubtedly would have mopped the floor with me. I pulled back from it though. Sometimes I could pull it back, think with my brain not my gut.



Thinking with my brain. I certainly wasn’t doing that last night. I was thinking with my fuckin’ dick. Along with the ball of guilt inside, I added self-loathing. What the fuck was wrong with me? There were some days I could just have a couple beers, or no alcohol at all. Why were there other days, when I would start out thinking just a couple, and end up opening the Comfort and drinking myself into blackouts? Why don’t I know when I’m going to do that?



I thought of AA. I hated AA. I had never gotten a sponsor, never gone to the smaller touchy-feely meetings, just the large general ones. I never stayed to the end of those. I’d been going to the general meetings on and off for five years. I would get so fuckin’ depressed listening to the fuckin’ testimonies or stories or whatever you call them. I hated it because I saw my own bullshit and lack of control in every one of those assholes. I didn’t want to admit that I was like them, that I’d end up like any of those sick looking older guys. All I had to do was somehow figure out why there were those days I could not stop drinking, then when I figured that out, all I had to do is just not drink on those days. It was one of those days that Barb drove home, me passed out, the night she killed that kid on the bike. It was like one in the fuckin’ morning, why the fuck wasn’t that kid home in bed?!



Oh jeezuz. She is in prison because of me. My eyes teared for a moment.



‘If’ and ‘What if’ and ‘Why can’t I’ were the fucking chapter headings of my fucking life.



I fucked Barb’s daughter last night. I cheated on Barb with her own daughter. What’s lower than scum? I looked out the window again. I had to get my head together. What the hell was I going to say to Lana? I blinked. What the hell was she going to say to me? I thought for a minute. I had to find out if she was going to tell Barb. I had to find out if she was going to tell anyone. I was sure she said a few times last night that she wouldn’t say a word to anyone. I thought she said that. She had to have said that, right? Shit. I’ll have to ask her again.



A fresh, gut wrenching thought entered my head. Oh fuck. What if she’s now thinking about selling her body, selling it to fuckin’ high school boys? Oh jeezuz. I had to make sure she didn’t do that. How the hell was I going to do that? She doesn’t listen to me about any fuckin’ thing. Don’t become a whore, Lana. Don’t ever sell your body like that again. Sex is for people in love. It should be making love, not fucking. Yeah, like she’s going to listen to me! Especially now. I wouldn’t even believe that bullshit. She’d just laugh at me. I was her first trick, now I’m going to be giving her advice as her counselor? As her priest? Yeah, right.



I gave it more thought. Was her plan to fuck me once for money, then use it as leverage to get her allowance back? Threaten to tell Barb? But, wouldn’t Barb also be insanely angry at Lana then too? Wait. She could tell Barb I raped her. Oh shit. I had already mentioned that to Barb, and that would make Barb think that I was trying to make her believe Lana would lie before I had actually raped her daughter. Yeah… yeah, she might think that. Oh shit. Oh jeezuz. How could I have been so goddamn fucking stupid?!



Barb would tell the cops. Wait. Maybe Lana will threaten to tell the cops, extort money out of me with the threat. Blackmail. But, unless she goes in for a rape exam today, maybe even tomorrow, how could she prove it? Her word against mine? Would the cops believe me when I would say she had propped me for sex? Yeah, right.



My hands rubbed my face again. I was spinning my wheels. I had to find out what she was going to do and say. She had me over the proverbial barrel, and she goddamn knew it. Fuck. Maybe I should just give her the fucking allowance and not discuss last night at all, or… maybe tell her it was a mistake, that it would kill Barb if she found out, and that it would destroy her mother if she started hooking for high school guys or… jeezuz, just hooking for any guy. I blinked again. She could use the house during the day for fucking her johns. How the hell would I know or stop her?



I leaned back in the chair. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I was still spinning my wheels. I had to talk to her. I wouldn’t know what to say or do until I talked to her. What if she didn’t say anything to me, didn’t answer any question, just left me guessing about all of it? What could I do then? I could do… … nothing. She’s not going to listen to anything I have to say anyway. She never has, why would that change this morning? The only thing I could do is try to talk to her, try to get answers. That’s all I could do.



I can’t show fear though. I do that and she’ll have even more ‘hand’ over me. I can’t show fear. I guess my fuckin’ father was right all those years growing up. I do have my fuckin’ brains up my fuckin’ butt. What the hell is wrong with you? You got your goddamn brains up your ass?” Yeah, and fuck you too, Dad.



My fucking dad. He was a drunk too. A periodic drunk, like me, but my periods are shorter. I guess I inherited the right fucked up gene from him. He gave me the fucking anger too.



I thought about the ‘strappings.’ I didn’t think about those very often. Other kids got spanked, maybe not with a belt, but spanking was still part of parenting when I was young I guess. He never did it to my older sister, just me. From the time I was four.



A sardonic smile curved my mouth.



I never knew what I had done so wrong that deserved a whipping. What could a four year old do that would deserve a lashing? I didn’t burn the garage down, didn’t do finger paintings on my bedroom walls, didn’t break or ruin shit in the house on purpose. And if a four year old did any of those things would it validate a whipping?



Sometimes I was just slow to follow his ‘orders.’ I don’t wanna stop playin’ yet. Can I play more? On his bad days, that fell under ‘backtalk,’ or giving him ‘lip,’ and I’d hear, “I’m not taking any shit from you like that!” or, “I’ll teach you to show me some goddamn respect!” I was supposed to ‘jump’ when he told me to do something, and when I didn’t that was more than enough at four, five, six, seven, and eight to have him grab my arm and drag me to my parents’ bedroom, order me to lay on the bed. He’d remove his belt, then he’d whip my ass with it until he got his fill of my screaming and sobbing.



Other days, he would tell me he and I were best friends. “You and me, we’re buddies, right? C’mon, get your glove, let’s play some catch.” Those buddy days were usually a day or two after a whipping.



I love-hated him.



When I was seven, I figured out what his rush was about it the strappings. He wanted, needed, maybe even craved to hear me scream and cry in pain. Finally my own hate and anger gave me some backbone. One evening when I gave him ‘lip’ or somehow didn’t give him enough ‘respect,’ he gave me one of the usual lines, “I’ll teach you respect!”



He grabbed my arm and pushed me to his bedroom, shoved me onto the bed, took off his belt and started lashing away, craving to hear me crying and screaming that I was sorry and I’d be good. I clenched my jaw and kept my mouth shut. I didn’t utter a sound. My eyes welled up and tears flowed but he couldn’t see it because my face was pressing into the bedspread. He whipped my little ass harder. With each lash, my anger and hate grew, which reinforced my resolve not to make the smallest whimper. I think about halfway through he muttered something like, “You think you’re tough, huh? I’ll show you.” He whipped harder. A minute or so later, I heard my mom at the doorway. He kept that belt coming down adamantly while she spoke.



“Anton… that’s enough… Anton, stop. That’s enough. Anton! That’s enough!”



The son-of-a-bitch gave me at least four more. He then pulled the belt away and started putting it back on his pants. He was actually a little breathless, huffing air, when he said, “That’ll teach you to respect me.” He left the room.



The fucking, ignorant prick didn’t realize he and his belt just made lose respect, made my disrespect grow, and taught me to hate him even more. As I slid off the bed, Mom came up and put her arm around my shoulders. I shoved it off, told her to leave me alone. I went to my room, closed the door and lay on the bed. My ass was burning as I buried my face into the pillow trying to muffle the sound as I cried and choked with sobs. A couple minutes later Mom came in, sat on the edge of the bed, stroked my back gently, and said something like, “Just try to be good. Just do what he says right away. Okay, honey?” I didn’t answer. I hated her at that moment too.



I never cried after that or tried anything like I had when I was five, stuffing a book in the back of my pants. I think I had seen that in some really ancient cartoon very early some Saturday morning, some animal character about to be spanked, putting a book in his pants. Dad didn’t always push me to the bedroom, sometimes he’d shout at me to go there, make me wait for the strap, probably trying some psychological terror on me. It was one of those times that I stopped in my room first and got the book. It was a thin but fairly large hardcover book on butterflies. Looking back now it’s funny. Of course he saw it as soon as he walked into his bedroom, not too many kids had flat rectangular butts. He didn’t laugh. He rained that belt down on the back of my thighs that time. Probably gave me a few extra for being so fucking stupid, shoving a book in my pants.



I didn’t get whipped every day, not even every week. It was periodic, like his drinking. Maybe they both coincided. I was too young to differentiate when he was drunk and when he was sober. I never cried again during the punishments, even though the strappings got move severe. When I was eight, I won. Dad lost.



He didn’t lose to me, he lost to Mom. I think she finally realized I wasn’t even getting teary eyed anymore. I think she could see that my hate and anger grew after each strapping, just by looking at my face, just by seeing my clenched jaw and the intensity of my eyes. I also think she may have thought Dad would really injure me some day, being drunk, being even more pissed off that he couldn’t elicit a scream, or a tear, or a pleading sob from me begging him to stop.



Even at that age, I had decided I’d fuckin’ die first before I’d give that fuckin’ prick the satisfaction of hearing me cry ever again. I never heard Mom speak to him, but I was sure she told him to stop the strappings. I’m glad she finally did. I bet I’d be an even meaner son-of-a-bitch now if she hadn’t. Funny, but I never did and still don’t respect my fuckin’ ol’ man. I also know, he could have beat me a lot harder and more often than he did. I never once had to pull my pants down. Later I learned there were other kids who had it a hell of a lot worse than me, although I didn’t know that then. I guess it really wasn’t that big of a deal, although it was during those four years or so when I was little.



I was staring out the window blindly. My jaw was clenched. I relaxed it and took a slow breath. How had I gotten on that shit? Why the fuck was I thinking about the fuckin’ ol’ man now? I had bigger fuckin’ problems, real problems I had to deal with.

I looked at the clock. 8:26AM. I felt my anxiety rise, maybe it was plain fear down to my very core. It was time to start facing reality. I got up, got the bottles of ibuprofen and vitamins. I took two pills out of each bottle and put them on a saucer. I got a clean glass off the paper towel, put ice in it and filled it at the faucet. I’d leave it all on the bedside table if Lana was still asleep.



My heart was beating faster than normal and my gut was knotted as I approached my bedroom. I peered inside. Lana had moved again, but was still facing away from the door. The sheet was up to her shoulder. As I quietly stepped inside I thought I saw her leg move a little. I set the ice water and small plate of pills on the bedside table. As I picked up the glasses left from last night, I noticed her shoulder. She was wearing the mens tank shirt. I was sure she didn’t have it on earlier. I stood straight and gazed at her.



I whispered, “Lana? You awake?” She twitched slightly. I waited for a response. After ten seconds I started to turn.



“I’m… not feeling too good.”



I spoke softly, “Hangover?”



“I… I guess. Do… do you want me out of here?”



What I wanted was to erase the past twenty-four hours. “I… no… stay, but… I brought you some ice water, and some vitamin pills and a couple ibuprofen. Why don’t you take ‘em now.” She didn’t move. I still hadn’t seen her face.



“I… I don’ wanna.”



I exhaled softly. “I think you’ll feel better if you do.”



“I… I’ll take ‘em later.”



“Do you want to sleep more.”



“Um… yeah.”



“Ahh… do you want some… orange juice now?”



“Um… no… um… later.”



“Okay. I’ll… ah… let you sleep.”



I waited a moment to see if she’d say anything more, possibly ‘thanks,’ but she stayed mute. I walked out to the hall, took a couple steps away from the door, stopped and leaned against the wall. I listened for crying, a cough, a muttered swear word, I don’t know why I was listening. I heard the glass clink against the rim of the plate. A few seconds later the plate slid on the table. Another period of silence then the glass setting down again. I frowned. She couldn’t even tell me the truth about whether she was thirsty or not, was she going to tell the truth about anything? I remembered what I had said to Barb a few weeks ago: I don’t trust her.



I felt exhausted. I wished I would have slept longer. I folded my arms across my chest, holding the empty glasses with my fingers stuck inside, bowed my head and closed my eyes. I silently began chastising myself all over again.



“Oh!”



I flinched, nearly jumped. I opened my eyes, turned my head and pushed off the wall. Lana was standing in the hall less than two feet from me. Her puffy, sleepy eyes were wide and her mouth was agape. Her hands went to the hem of the tank shirt. She pulled it down a little, then one hand held the hem as her other rose to her shoulder, her arm covering most of her little tits.



“I… uh… thought you were going to sleep longer.” She looked fourteen to me again, a thoroughly embarrassed fourteen. My guilt rose yet again.



“I… I-I needed to… um… go to the bathroom.”



“There’s the master bath.” I figured the john was filthy as hell. I knew she was lying.



“I… I meant I… I was… couldn’t sleep, so… so I was going to take a shower.”



“Feeling better then?”



“Um… no, not really.”



“Did you take the pills?”



“Uh-huh.” She pulled her shirt down a bit more, then looked down to check the neckline at her tits.



“Oh… I guess I should mention, I didn’t want to wake you this morning, so I showered in the hall bath.”



She looked at my face. “You… you used my bathroom?”



I almost laughed at her ‘my.’ “Yeah.”



“Oh… um… ah… okay.” She looked really scared again. “Are… you going into your room?”



“No.”



“Where… where are you going?”



I genuinely smiled for the first time since waking, not a big smile, as I told her the truth, “I don’t know where I’m going.” It seemed like my smile made her even more nervous or scared. I glanced at her hand at the hem of her shirt. She was holding it out knowing it would make it less see through.



“Would you go somewh…. um… don’t you… don’t you wanna go into your bedroom?”



For a moment I wondered who the hell was wearing Lana’s tank shirt. Where the hell was the tough little bitch I had known. “What are you doing after your shower?”



“Huh?”



“Are you going somewhere… you know, out after your shower?”



“I… I-I-I don’t know… um… I… I don’t think so.”



“Well… obviously, we… ahh… need to talk about… about last night.” I got angry at myself for the verbal hesitance.



“I… I thought you’d say that.” Her breathing turned shallow and quick.



“So… take your shower, then we’ll talk. Okay?”



“I… I guess so.”



I gave her a limp smile. “Good.”



“I… I’m gonna take my shower.” She really seemed very nervous.



I nodded. “Okay.”



She bit her lower lip and stepped around me. As she passed, her hand lowered from her shoulder. Both hands gripped the hem of the tank shirt, holding it down a little but also pulling it back so it didn’t lay on her apple ass. My gut knotted with fear again. I wondered if she was hurt, bleeding. I tried to remember if I had fucked her ass. I remembered thumbing her asshole, but not sticking my dick in it. Dammit! I turned and went into my room. I checked the top sheet for blood stains. None. I yanked it off the bed and looked at the bottom sheet. Only cum stains. I relaxed a little.



I stripped the bed. I stepped over to the corner of the room by Barb’s dresser. There was a gap between the end of it and the corner of the room. That’s where I tossed my dirty clothes. I glanced at the dresser top. I saw the fifty dollar bill. I couldn’t believe she forgot her money. I picked out the white things from the corner pile, added it to the sheet pile, grabbed the two glasses and headed to the mud room, figuring I might as well do a load. Shit. I’d have to wait until Lana got out of the shower. It might screw up her hot water, the water heater was old, the replenish time on it sucked.



I put the glasses in the sink, then went into the mud room, put liquid detergent in the washer and loaded it. I opened the fridge and looked inside. I really wanted that orange juice. I grabbed a soda, sat at the table and took a sip. I lit a smoke, then tried to relax and figure out how to start the conversation with Lana. Even if I had been totally blitzed last night, which I hated to admit I wasn’t, at least not at the start; how in hell could I possibly have thought fucking Lana would be okay to do? Jeezuz.



Maybe… maybe we could talk about it like adults.



It was an hour and a half before I saw Lana slowly walking towards the kitchen. The girl was still surprising me. It was a warm June day, not really hot, but she was wearing a long sleeve off-white cotton jersey shirt, and those kind of running pants that had replaced most everyone’s sweat pants, the ones with the single stripe on the outside of the legs. They were pink with a white stripe. I had never seen her wear them. Her hair looked damp and she had it in a pony tail. I couldn’t recall if it had ever been in a pony tail. Something wasn’t right. Something happened last night that I can’t remember. She was scared. Maybe scared to be with me now? That’s the only reason I could come up with for the way she acted when wearing her tank shirt earlier, and now she’s fully covered up, well, she was barefoot. She flaunted her hot, little bod for a week, and now she was trying to cover it up? What the hell was going on?



I looked at her hand. She had a tube of toothpaste and a toothbrush. I realized they were mine. “Oh… ah… thanks for bringing that.”



“You… you left it in my bathroom.” Lana put the things on the table near me then sat at the far end of the table. She pulled her legs up to the seat, pretzeling them.



I guess it really was her bathroom. “I… I didn’t know you did all that work, the decorating in there. It looks good.”



“Some of that stuff I um… picked up during the last town junk pick up week. The… the wire shelf thing, and… the pictures, and… that wicker stuff.”



I really wanted to ask her about that hidden photo in the linen closet. “Looks good.”



“Um… um… thanks.”



I took a slow breath. “Ahh… I guess we should talk about last night.”



“Um… yeah.” She bit her lower lip.



“Firstly, I… I hope I wasn’t too rough with you, or… or hurt you in any way. I… I was pretty drunk.”



“I’m… I’m a little sore, but… I… no, you… I guess you weren’t too rough.”



I saw her eyes tear a little. It made my gut knot tighter. “Lana… ahh… obviously, last night… ahh… shouldn’t have happened. I think we both know it was a mistake.” I held my breath.



She responded immediately. “I knew you’d say that.” Her arms folded over her chest. I realized she was wearing a bra by the depressions on her shoulders. It seemed her eyes teared more.



I hadn’t expected that response from her. “Ahh… maybe… ahh… Do you want to talk first?”



No, not really.”



It was the shit attitude again. I suddenly didn’t feel like taking all the blame. I told myself to keep my cool. “Why are you angry?”



“Am I angry?”



I again told myself to keep it level. “I don’t know if you are, but I’m getting the impression you are. I hope you remember, it was actually your idea last night.” I instantly knew I shouldn’t have said that. I quickly added, “But… that doesn’t mean I have no responsibility about it.” I took a breath. “So, are you angry about something?”



“I don’t know. I guess not. I…” She exhaled. “You…. you…” She pursed her lips and her eyes teared a little more.



“What? Tell me, or-or ask me if it’s a question. What is it?”



“Do… do you… do you remember what… what we talked about in bed before… before we went to sleep?”



My brow pinched. “What we talked about?”



“Yeah. What we talked about.”



My forehead was still tight. “I was pretty drunk, and really tired by then, Lana. Why… why don’t you refresh my memory.”



Lana turned her head, pretending to look out the kitchen window over the sink. “I knew you’d say you were too drunk to remember.” Her jaw clenched for a moment.



I felt anger start to simmer and I told myself to relax again. “Well, it happens to be the truth, and I find it a little amazing that you seem to remember it all so clearly, since we were both drinking pretty heavily, in fact I seem to recall we were matching drink for drink.” She had to have been drunker than me with that little body. I saw her bite half of her lower lip.



She didn’t look at me. “I… I guess I had a… a little less than you.”



“Wha’ d’ ya mean?”



“One of my drinks was… wasn’t whiskey, it was iced tea.”



I couldn’t stop the grin but kept it down to a small smile. She really had been acting like a freakin’ whore last night!



There was an angry edge to her voice, “Are you laughing at me?”



“No, just wishing I would have joined you on that ice tea. I… I’d probably not feel so lousy today.”



“You drink t…” She bit her lip again for a moment then looked at the sink window once more.



“I drink too much? Yeah, I do.” She didn’t say anything to that. “So… you wanna tell me what we talked about before I fell asleep.”



“I don’t know.”



“You don’t know if you want to talk about it? Or, you can’t remember now what we talked about?”



“Yeah.”



I got angry for a moment, then I just found it funny. In my past I had answered double questions with that same response. I said hell with it, and let a brief chuckle escape my mouth. “That was pretty funny.”



“I’m so glad you liked it.” The edge was still there.



I decided not to get pissed off. I pushed my chair back. “Do you want that orange juice now?”



“I don’t know. Yeah… yeah, I guess.” She started to get up.



“I got it.” I made up a glass of ice and poured the last of the OJ in it. I set it in front of her.



“Aren’t you having any?”



“Isn’t any more. I was saving that for you. I’ll have a soda.”



“Do you want this?”



I got a Coke from the fridge. “No, you drink it.” I sat down and popped the can, took a sip, then lit a cigarette. We stayed silent for a couple minutes. Lana broke it.



“You… you like really don’t remember what we talked about at… at the end?”



“I really don’t. Sorry. You wanna tell me what it was?”



“I… I don’t think it matters now. You… you already said it was a mistake.”



“Don’t you think it was a mistake?” I saw her eyes tear up again. My brow pinched. What the fuck was going on? What the hell was I missing here?



“I… I guess I should.”



“What was the… Tell me what we talked about at the end.”



“I… I don’t know. Maybe… maybe I can’t remember now.”



I wondered how in hell I had hoped a short while ago that she and I might be able to be at least somewhat adult about it all. I told myself not to lose my cool. I drew in a slow breath and exhaled it just as slowly. “I’d like to ask you something which is a little off the subject at hand. Is that all right?”



“I don’t know, is it?”



My teeth clenched for a moment, then I realized, that’s what she now wanted. She wanted to piss me off. I waited to cool down before I spoke softly, “You know for… hell, nearly three years now, if you count the time I was dating Barb, I have been wondering why the hell you and I can’t at least be civil with one another if not friends. That answer you just gave me, that tone you just gave me? I didn’t deserve that. At times you seem to want to be treated like an adult, then you do shit like that answer. I’m trying to talk to you seriously here, because… because we… we both did something serious last night, serious… on a lot of levels. So, do you want me to treat you like some ornery little girl, or do you want to be treated as a young woman. It’s your choice.” I could see that had her a little stumped.



“Why… why do we have to talk about any of it?”



“I just told you why. Last night serious things happened. And obviously, we need to clarify everything. You’re giving me the impression we talked about something important and serious last night at the end, which I do not remember. I… I want us both on the same page here. I don’t want either of us assuming that the other remembers saying this or that or agreeing to this or that, when that person may not recall any of it. So… that’s why.” I took a sip of soda, amazed how well it seemed I was speaking. “So… what was it we talked about at the end?”



“You… you just wanna know if I’m going to tell anyone, that’s all you really wanna know.”



“No, it’s not, but since you brought it up, are you going to keep it all confidential, between just you and me?” I held my breath.



She spit her words out, “I know what confidential means.”



My ire rose again. “Yeah, I assumed you did, but you know, things can be confidential between more than two people.”



Her jaw clenched and her eyes glared. She stayed silent for ten seconds, then said, “I won’t tell anyone. Happy now? I must have told you that a hundred times last night.”



I wasn’t happy but I was a little relieved. I also knew she’d have it hanging over me for the rest of my fucking life. “No, I wouldn’t call it happy. I’m glad I can trust you about it. I won’t tell anyone either.”



“I didn’t think you would.”



“I know you’re angry at me, and maybe what I’m about to say will make you even more pissed, but I have to say it and I want you to listen. Okay?”



What?”



“Last night was wrong for a l… for a few reasons. I want you to know that… ah…” I took a breath. I didn’t want to say it but I had to.



What?”



“I… I hope you know that… that making money that way is wrong, and I hope to god you never do it again. I…”



Lana broke in with a shout, “Keep your stupid money!” Her face scrinched for a moment, then she quickly wiped her eyes and calmed her face, looking down at the edge of the table.



“You’re… you’re too beautiful and… and you have your entire future ahead of you, so… so I… I had to say that about… about selling yourself.”



“Yeah, I’m SO beautiful, with… with such a great future ahead of me.”



I exhaled. “Lana, it… it can be, but… but not if your attitude doesn’t change. I think… I think I’m a good example of how you can screw up your future. From what I know, you… you haven’t made the kind of mistakes that… that I made by the time I was your age. You’ve got that going for you. I was angry like you too, and… and I still have a hard time dealing with my anger. Do… do well in college this fall. That’s when things get… start to get important and serious.”



“That’s not really college. It’s a community college.”



For some reason I asked, “Did you try for grants or student loans for other schools? Universities?” Maybe I was hoping she’d somehow be able to go off to college somewhere far away. If she went away, it would somewhat solve one of my problems.



“Not… not really.”



“Why?”



“Because… because I… I didn’t know if I wanted to go.”



“Did you apply for admission at any college or university?”



“Maybe.”



“Where? Which ones?”



She thought for a few seconds, probably about whether or not to answer me. “Champagne and DeKalb.”



I was surprised to say the least. “Did you get accepted at either?” I quickly added, “At both?”



“Yeah.”



“Which?”



“Both.”



I was dumbfounded. “Why didn’t you say anything about it?”



“What difference would it have made after her accident? And…. and you told me there wasn’t any money, and… and I figured there wasn’t any anyway. At least not… not enough for either of those schools. Not that kind of money.”



“Why in hell didn’t you tell us, tell me?”



She looked at the window. “It doesn’t matter.”



The conversation was not going at all the way I had anticipated. Why the hell didn’t she at least tell Barb about it?! “Did you write the admissions offices at both those schools and ask for a… at least a year extention on enrollment?” I had done that for grad school. I had been dumped by a girl a couple months before I was supposed to start and was getting drunk a lot. I didn’t have my shit together enough to begin a masters program. I got the extension, started a year later, then dropped out right before finals week that first semester.



“No. I don’t know. What… what is that?”



“It means you might be able to keep your enrollment status for a year. You can start next year, as… as a sophomore, or a second semester freshman, depending on what courses they accept from your community college work. You should write them as soon as possible, tell them… tell them money or something is a big problem right now. Maybe… maybe we can work something out, maybe… you can get some grant or loans. We’ll look into it. You… you should have told Barb about this, and… and me too.” For a moment I wondered if I really cared or if I was just afraid she’d tell Barb everything about last night. But, why the hell hadn’t she told Barb about this college shit?



“I knew there wasn‘t enough money. What difference would it have made?”



“You should have told me and… and like I said, maybe we can work something out. Write those letters as soon as possible. Tomorrow.”



“Maybe… maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. I don’t know.”



I couldn’t remember what the rest of what I was going to say about last night was. Why the hell didn’t she tell me about any of this? Why the hell didn’t I ask her? Barb always told me she was the only parent, that’s why. No, that’s not why. I’m just in my own fucking little world, that’s why I didn’t ask, but… would Lana have told me? No, I didn’t think she would have even if I had asked. I would never have guessed she had even applied. Hell, I was surprised she got her high school diploma!

I couldn’t remember if I got her to say she wouldn’t be crazy and try hooking out in public. I thought I had asked already. I couldn’t muster the guts to bring it up again. “Now, you want to tell me what we talked about at the end of last night?”



“There’s no point. You’ve already said in a few ways that last night was a huge mistake. So… talking about anything last night… doesn’t matter anymore.”



Something was obviously upsetting her about the end if not the entire evening. I tried to think. It was at the last, the part I just could not remember. “I don’t agree it doesn’t matter.”



“Well, I don’t agree with you not agreeing.”



I sighed. “Okay, let’s stop thinking and talking about last night for a moment. Now… would you please tell me why you hate me so much?” I figured I might as well ask.



“I… I don’t hate you.” Her eyes welled up again.



“Okay, you don’t hate me. Could you then tell me why you have the attitude towards me?” I emphasized the word for emphasis, not to be an asshole.



“Maybe it’s… it’s you who has the attitude, not me.”



I was either still in an alcoholic haze or she was living on another planet. I lit another cigarette, then sipped my soda. I tried to remember the other things I had planned to say about last night. I kept drawing a blank.



Lana finally looked at my face. “So… is this… this talk finished?”



“What do you want to say or tell me about last night?”



“Nothing. So… are we done with this talk?”



I crushed my cigarette in the ashtray and pushed my chair back. “In a second. I’ll be right back.”



Lana exhaled sharply as she stared at the center of the table.



I went to my bedroom and wasn’t sure if what I was going to do was good and right, or extremely stupid and wrong. I picked it up and returned to the kitchen. I walked up to her. She didn’t look at me, just kept staring at the center of the table. “This… this isn’t payment for last night, it’s… I don’t know what to call it. But… you should have it. I offered her the fifty dollar bill. She looked at it.



“I don’t want that!”



“All right. I’ll leave it on the dresser in my room, it’ll be there if you want it. Don’t think of it as payment for last…”



She broke in, “I DON’T WANT IT!” She shoved her chair back, got off it opposite me, and started walking quickly to her room.



I had clearly made the wrong choice. I knew she needed spending money. That’s why I was giving it to her. Or… was it a blackmail payment? Maybe it was a loose end of last night I just wanted to get rid of. Hell… I don’t know. I bet though, that if I hadn’t offered it to her, she’d have shouted a demand for her money. Why did she play me all week with the teases, then prop me last night, to just refuse the cash today? None of this shit made sense to me! I figured I should apologize to her, even though I would find that irritating as hell. I heard her bedroom door slam. Shit.



I held the bill and slowly walked down to her room. My other hand formed a fist and I raised it to knock. I froze. I heard her crying. My gut knotted once again plus that sensation that I was something lower than scum. What the hell was going on? She was the one who said ‘let’s fuck,’ not me!



I spoke softly, “Lana? Are you okay?” I knew it was a stupid question. “Open the door, let’s…”



“GO AWAY!”



I tried to think of something else to say. I had no idea what was going on with her. I was still dealing with a hangover and obviously I couldn’t handle it and her at the same time. She was upset, I had no idea of how to help her. I looked at the fifty in my hand. I turned and went to my bedroom. I put it on the dresser, then was going to lie on the bed and saw it was stripped. I went to the mud room and started the washer, then returned to the bedroom. I closed the door and lay on the mattress pad, using a bare pillow. I switched on the radio to NPR, soft volume, voices to fall asleep to. I dozed off about ten minutes later.



I awoke from a fitful sleep, sweaty, my T shirt sticking to my chest. Someone was pounding on my door. “What is it?!” I swung my legs over the edge of the mattress. For some reason I had a vision of a cop hammering on the door. A wave of fear coursed through me.



“I want my money!”




I rubbed my eyes. “It’s on the dresser. Come in and get it.”



The door flew open and banged against the doorstop. I looked up. Lana was in her short black skirt, but with white sneakers not the shitkickers, and a black T sans the rips. She grabbed the fifty off the dresser, then headed out the door.



“Where ya goin’?”



She didn’t turn around nor slow down. “Out!”



For some reason, I got really pissed and almost ran after her, but didn’t move from the bed. I muttered, “Fuck the little bitch.” My gut tightened thinking about the drive and visitation tomorrow. I lay back and fell asleep again.


* * *Her brow pinched for a moment. “Um… three.”



Without looking at the pile I reached for it. I picked a bar. “That means I get this one.” I saw her ever so slightly smile. I looked at what I picked. “Ahh… shit. It’s the Milky Way. I wanted the Snickers.” I saw Barb smile for real, then she softly giggled for a moment. For the thousandth time, I wished to god that she had never hit that goddamn kid.



Barb was still smiling but her eyes had teared. “Give me that. Take the Snickers.”



Lana finally spoke. “I want the Snickers.” She grabbed it.



For some reason, maybe it was the tension of the situation, I burst out laughing. Barb started giggling, and Lana turned her face away but as she pulled the paper off the bar, I saw her mouth curve into a tiny smile. I suddenly wondered how everything had gotten so fucked up. Barb in prison, Lana accepted at two good universities but wasn’t going, me screwing her a couple days ago. I knew it didn’t have to be this fucked up, but I didn’t have clue how to make it into what it should be, whatever that was. Or if it was even possible.



I grabbed the last candy bar. “Well… I really wanted the Payday all along.”



Barb smiled again as she chewed her first bite.



Barb and I made small talk for a while. I spoke at length, more like babbled about how the house I was working on was coming along, making some valid and some idiotic comments about the design, just to fill in the dead air.



Barb mostly asked questions during the visits. I don’t think she wanted to talk about prison life much. She looked at Lana. Her daughter was again staring at the high windows. “Honey? What have you been doing this past week?”



“Not much.”



My gut knotted yet again.



“Are you still trying to find at least a part-time job?”



“I told you, no place is hiring, at least not hiring someone like me.”



Barb glanced at me. I held her eyes. She raised her eyebrows slightly. Barb and I were married only for a year and a half before the accident, and we knew each other only four months prior to the wedding, plus she’d been in prison for the past eight, nine months, but I had been with her long enough to know that slight eyebrow rise was asking me to rethink giving Lana an allowance, and that Barb thought she should have an allowance, even if Lana was lying about applying for jobs and the job situation.



Since Saturday morning I had been wishing I had never made a big deal about the goddamn allowance because then Friday night never would have happened. A week ago I would have been pissed right now. Actually I had been. I think we talked about all this then too. Yeah, we did.



I looked at Lana. “Did you go to the places you’ve applied a second and third time yet?”



“No. Why would I do that? They said they didn’t need anyone.”



“Because it would show them you really are interested in a job and possibly someone quit between your application and your second or third visit.” I knew she hadn’t filled out any applications anywhere. It was all bullshit from her.



“They’d just call someone who had already applied to fill it.”



I spoke calmly, “No, that’s not how it works all the time. Showing your face and telling the manager your name two more times would help in either situation.”



“That’s your opinion.”



I started to get pissed. Barb reached for my forearm on the table, gave it a squeeze, and then held it. I don’t know why but as she started to speak, I almost started fucking crying. Her hand on my arm, the touch telling me not to get angry, was a little act a wife would do. She was my wife! I had fucking cheated on her with her teasing, goddamn daughter! What the fuck was wrong with me?!



“Lana, he’s right. You should do that. Did you… did you use those tokens and take the bus to the mall?”



Oh dammit. I had forgotten to get the fucking tokens for her! I cleared my throat and tried to get my shit together.



The edge was in Lana’s voice, “No. I didn’t get any tokens.”



I took a quick breath. “My fault. I forgot all about it. Sorry, Barb.” I turned my face to her daughter, the girl I paid for sex. “Sorry, Lana. I’ll give you money for the tokens when we get back to the house.”



“It’s not going to make any difference.” She took a drink of diet soda.



Barb frowned slightly. “You still need to try, honey. Get the tokens and try the mall.”



“I… I did, sort of. I went to three stores and filled out applications.”



I stopped breathing for a few moments. For the first time, I actually believed she had applied for jobs. Something… something in the tone of her voice made me believe her. Had she really applied at all those other places like she had said?



Barb said, “Well, go again and… and try some other stores while you’re there.”



Lana didn’t respond, just took another sip of soda. She set the can down, then announced, “I’m going to the bathroom.” She rose and walked away.



I looked at Barb. She gave me the ten thousand word ‘allowance’ expression again. I sighed. I figured I had to stick to my guns, just to be normal if nothing else. “Look… I don’t want to give her an allowance, especially since she never did anything for it, but…” I exhaled. “I know she needs pocket money. I’ll… I’ll maybe… make a list of chores that she can do every week and… and list the amount she’ll make doing them. Something like that.”



Barb frowned. “She’s not a child anymore. That’s like… like something you’d do with a little girl.”



I knew damn well she wasn’t a little girl anymore. “I’m not going to give her free money to just blow. She’ll have to do something for the money she gets.” I wished I had used a different word than ‘blow’ and for ‘something’ too. I saw Lana in my mind, in the tank shirt, telling me she gave ‘good beejays.’ I then hated myself even more when my dick twitched and grew a little.



Barb sighed. “All right.”



The rest of the visitation was the usual boring and somewhat tension filled time. It had been exactly what I had hoped it would be — normal. When it was time to leave, Lana at lease gave Barb a curt and limp hug. I kissed her and hugged her tightly, saying a version of what I usually did, “Don’t worry about anything, Barb.”



On the drive home, about a half hour from the prison, I twisted in my seat, then gripped the steering wheel tightly with both hands. “I guess I should tell you that Barb is still pushing me to give you an allowance.” I waited a minute for her to say something. “Did you hear me?” I glanced at her profile, then looked ahead again.



“Yeah. I heard you. So?”



I took a slow breath. “I’m… I’m considering it.” She again said nothing. “I… I haven’t… I don’t have it all thought out, but… I’m thinking something like… getting paid for doing a chore, different pay for different chores over a week.”



Her voice was dripping with anger and sarcasm, “Like what? One price for fucking you, and a different price for sucking you?”



Once again, she nearly made me lose it. I’m sure my hands almost broke the steering wheel. I told myself to cool down, but it was difficult. She was the one who had brought up fucking and sucking, not me! She propped me, not the other way round! I told myself she was just a fucked up, immature teenager. I told myself to be an adult. I finally spoke, “No, I thought the chores should be something you’d be g…” I stopped speaking. I almost said it should something she would be good at. Jeezuz. I was being as immature as she was!



“Something I’d be good at? That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it?” Her arms folded over her chest. She looked to the side out her window.



I had screwed up once again. “No, I was going to say, something that you might actually not think was a big pain in the ass, like… well, I don’t know what yet.” I shouldn’t have made the fuckin’ slip. Shit. I took a quick breath. “Do you have thirty bucks?” I still hadn’t cashed my paycheck.



“Why?”



“I need change for a fifty.”



What?”



“I think that ten pack of bus tokens is twenty bucks. I only have a fifty dollar bill and some singles. I give you the fifty, you give me thirty back.”



She stayed silent for a minute or so. “I have it at home.”



I really didn’t give a shit if she bought the fuckin’ tokens or not with the money.


* * *I knew I was half smashed, but I had gotten a little more sober since starting to talk, so I realized I had just shot my entire verbal wad. If she didn’t respond now, she’d never do it. I’d never screw her again, and living together would just be hell for me, maybe for her too. If she stayed silent, her hate, animosity, anger towards me would just grow. It was like I was my dad and she was me, that kind of thing, yet, I hadn’t treated her like my dad had done to me.



I just didn’t get any of this. I knew she could be, maybe should be angry at me about fucking her, but she had been the one who initiated that. I had recalled since then that I had even gotten angry and told her to go and put more clothes on right before she hooked me. I took a slow breath. I decided I’d wait at her door until it was time to go to the job if need be. I’d slept on floors before. Finally I heard something.



“I… I think… I have thought a lot… about you too.”



I started holding my breath without knowing it. I waited for more but nothing came. I exhaled and started breathing again. “You have?”



“Yeah. For… for a long time.”



“What… what did you think?”



“I don’t know if… I don’t think I should tell you now. I… I thought I should last Friday, so… so I did, but…”



I interrupted, “Lana, please, jus’ tell me.” I had to wait another minute.



“At first… you know, when you first started going out with Barb, I… was surprised about you. I… I thought you were cute, and… and not an… an ass like all the other losers she’d gone out with.”



If I hadn’t been half in the bag and horny as hell I might have laughed at that line. She had inadvertently called me a loser too, maybe it wasn’t inadvertent. I actually agreed with her.



“And… and you talked to me, like really talked to me, and you didn’t treat me like some little pain in the ass, or some little girl even if I did look like one, or like I was some… some sort of negative about Barb. And… and so I liked you for that.”



She took a long audible breath. “And then, you guys got married, and… and I… and I started liking you more, and… and then I knew I liked you too much, and… and when it got to that point, it was about then that… that you stopped talking to me as often, and… I don’t know, I… I started not… not liking Mom very much. I mean, I started seeing all the things in her that I hated before, except it was worse than before. And… and then I did some really dumb things, that… that I now know I did because….”



She exhaled sharply. “I did some dumb things because… because I was… jealous, I guess, that… that she was with you all the time and… and I wasn’t. I… I wanted you to notice me more and… and I wanted to piss off Barb too. I don’t why I did some of those things, like… like that internet page. It… I wanted her to find it, and… and I wanted you to… to see it.”



I heard her start crying, not loud, but definitely crying. I spoke softly, “Lana… open the door.”



“No… no, I can’t.” She took a few quick breaths. “I… I know now it was so stupid to… to get so emotional about you, to… to think that it was… was more than like. I… I wanted you to… to look at me as if… as if I was a… a woman, but I… I was acting like a-a-a teenager, which… which is what I am. And… I don’t know, I… then started really hating… both of you… you and… and M-Mom.” She started crying again.



I was overwhelmed. My dick shrunk to totally limp over the course of her monologue. “Ahh… Lana… Lana.”



She sniffled. “What?”



“I did pay attention to you, but you pushed me away, or… or I was drunk, or trying to deal with… with all my fuckin’ problems, or with Barb, I mean we just got married, you know? But… mainly, just dealin’ with myself. I wanted to be your friend, I still wanna be your friend. I… I remember talking to you those times, early on. I enjoyed those times. I’d… I’d think about you, you know, about what we had talked about. I remember thinking you were smart, an’… an’ pretty, an’… I don’t know, I liked you. I… I never thought you were some… negative thing.



“Then… I don’t know, it all started changing. You and Barb fighting all the time, an’… and it seemed both of you were hating me half the time. You… you weren’t even civil to me sometimes, an’… an’ don’t get mad at me, but… sometimes you acted like a little bitch, and before you say it, yeah, I know, I can be a real asshole, a real bastard. I’m no fuckin’ angel or piece of cake or whatever that fuckin’ sayin’ is. I know that, but… I tried, Lana. I really tried to be your friend. At least I tried as best I could.” I heard her crying softly again. “Lana? Don’t cry, honey. What’s… what’s wrong?”



“I don’t know. I… I was remembering how… how you protected me from… from that asshole guy at the truckstop. How… how it seemed you were ready to fight for me. No… no guy ever… ever did that… f-for m-me.”



“Lana, I’d always do that for you. I’d never let anyone hurt you.” I guess I forgot about my night of lust with her.



“I… I teased you all… all last week. I-I shouldn’t have done that.”



“I know. Lana? Why… why did you do that?” I was wondering if it was for her allowance, or the fifty bucks, to just drive me nuts, or what.



“I… it’s complicated.”



“I’m not goin’ anywhere. So… tell me the complicated story.”



She sniffled. “I hafta get some tissues.”



“Okay.” A few seconds passed. I heard her sit on the other side of the door again and pull out some tissues from the box. “Do you want to open the door?”



“No. I… I couldn’t talk that way.”



“You okay?”



“Yeah, I guess.”



“So? The complicated story?”



“I was… I was really angry about the allowance, about it being cut off, and… and on that Tuesday, I just thought I’d tease you to get back at you about it, and… and I knew you had to be horny because… you know, Barb’s in prison. So I did that on Tuesday, then… then on Wednesday, I… I thought about the truckstop and… and that woman outside, and… and I needed money, and… and… don’t laugh at me.”



“What?”



“I… I wanted to… to-to hook up with you, see… see what it was like with you, and… and see if… see if you’d like me as… as much as you l-like Barb in bed.” She cried for a few seconds, then pulled out more tissues. “Maybe… maybe that was t-the main reason.”



I really started to sober up. I knew I shouldn’t say she was better than Barb, and obviously not say she was worse. “Lana?”



“What?” She blew her nose.



“You’re beautiful, hot and… and a fantastic lover.”



“You’re just saying that. It… it took you forever to cum.”



I chuckled.



“Don’t laugh at me!”



I heard her starting to stand. “Lana! Sit down. I wasn’t laughing at you. Wanna know why it took me so long?” It took her five seconds to sit down again.



“Okay. Why?”



“Guys who are drunk sometimes take longer to reach orgasm, sometimes… the alcohol makes it hard to… ahh… difficult to stay hard too, but… sometimes, it just delays orgasms. That’s… that’s why, and… and… I… I don’t know if I should tell you something else.”



“Go ahead and say it.”



I could tell she expected it to be some negative comment about her. “I was really glad it took me a long time. I… I wanted to be inside you as long as I could. You… you have a beautiful, wonderful body. You were a great lover.” I had to wait twenty seconds for a response.



“Is that the truth about…. about alcohol and orgasms, and… and the other things you said?”



“It is for me. That’s the truth. And yes, it was the truth about you too.” There was about a half minute of silence. Lana spoke again.



“I wish… I wish I wouldn’t have taken that money, but… I got so mad at you.” She started crying softly again.



“Don’t you dare think that was me paying you for Friday night. That money wasn’t for that.”



She sniffled a couple times. “Yes it was.”



“It wasn’t. You said you didn’t want that money. So I gave you other money. That’s the way I’m looking at it.”



“That’s stupid.”



Like at the prison, maybe from the tension, I chuckled. “I don’t care if it is stupid.”



There was another silence for ten or so seconds, which seemed like minutes.



She spoke softly, “I’ve… been thinking about Friday night a lot.”



“I have too. Didn’t I say that already?”



“I… I can’t remember.”



I smiled. “Isn’t that my line?”



“It has been.”



“Lana, I’ve been thinking about Friday night a lot, all the time since Saturday morning.”



“What… what are you thinking?”



“That I hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did. That I hoped I didn’t hurt you in any way… like even… you know, you remembering it in the future. I… I’ve been thinking a lot about… about what it felt like to be inside you, how… how perfect that felt, and… and the last thing I remember from that night was… was thinking how perfect we fit together spooning.”



“You… you thought I was talking about a… a real spoon.”



My brow pinched for a few seconds, I blinked, then chuckled again. “You’re right. I… I thought you were eating ice cream or cereal or something.”



“I… I guess I knew you were pretty drunk.”



“Why… why did you trick me with drinking tea?”



“I didn’t want to get any drunker than I was.”



There was about a minute of silence. I broke it.



“What are you thinking about?”



“I… I don’t know. What… what are you thinking about?”



“I was wondering if it was ever going to happen again. Us being together like that.” My cock started growing again. I then thought of Barb. The growth slowed.



“I… that’s what I was wondering.”



“I… I want it to happen again, but… I-I also don’t want it to happen again, because… because of Barb.” I surprised myself by telling her the truth.



“I…” Lana stopped talking.



“What?”



“I don’t know.”



“Lana?”



“Uh-huh?”



“Do you think it will at least be possible for us to be friends.”



“I… don’t know. I guess, I… I think so. I… um…”



“What?”



“Don’t get worried, okay?”



“What?” I suddenly wondered if she was on the pill. I thought she had said she was that night.



“It might be hard being friends, because… I… it… I think I… I still like you more, than as a friend. I’ve tried not to, which… which is one of the reasons why I… I’ve been really bitchy to you, I guess, but… it… it doesn’t seem like that’s worked.”



“I think it’ll be difficult for me to only think of you in a platonic way now too.”



“I know what platonic means.”



“Lana? Why do you say shit like that? I figured you knew what it meant.”



“I… I don’t know. I… Sometimes I think, you think, I’m stupid.”



I smiled. “You know what I really think?”



“What?”



“I think sometimes I’m really stupid, and yeah, sometimes you’re really stupid too.”



“Do… do you mean last Friday?”



“Actually… I wasn’t thinking of that. I meant, in general.”



“Oh.” She waited a few seconds. “Do you think it was stupid? Friday night? I guess you do since you said it was a big mistake.”



I thought for a moment. “What you and I did, the way it made me feel, and hopefully you feel during it, that… that wasn’t stupid, but… but because of the situation, maybe it was a mistake. I mean… we’ve both been pretty upset since then, you know? Among… other reasons.”



“You mean Barb, right?”



I sighed. “Yeah.”



“Could I ask you something, like… personal?”



“Yeah, but.. maybe I won’t answer. Ask.”



“What does she expect you to do? I mean, you know, about sex? Did she say you shouldn’t hookup with anyone, even like… like a casual thing?”



“This will sound really stupid to you because it sounds extremely stupid to me right now, but… Barb and I have never discussed it. So, I assume she thinks I should stay loyal to her, which… which I should do.”



“I… I thought you might start cheating on her, but… you haven’t, have you? I… I don’t mean last Friday, I mean… before last Friday.”



“No, I haven’t messed around.”



“You… you really… love her, don’t you?”



I felt like scum once more, when I heard Lana cry for a few seconds again. She blew her nose as softly as she could. “I guess I do… most of the time, but… I guess I don’t love her enough, Lana, because last Friday, I wanted you more than I wanted to follow my marriage vows. That… that makes me one hell of a self-centered, fuckin’ asshole.”



“I bet… I bet if you were in prison, that… that she…”



I interrupted, “It doesn’t matter what she would do. It doesn’t work that way. The only thing that matters is what I do. And who really knows what she’d do? I thought I’d be able to handle it when she went in. Obviously, I was wrong.”



“I… I shouldn’t have teased you. I mean, I knew you had to be horny. I knew even I might be able to… you know, get you more horny to even hook up with me.”



“Lana, I wanted to be with you before last week, except for the… the bitchy part.” I took a quick breath. “No, I guess even with the bitchy part.” There was another pregnant pause. I heard Lana shift on the other side of the door.



She drew in a deep breath, then exhaled. “What are we… I mean… um… what are you going to d… I mean… oh… I don’t know what I mean.”



“What are we going to do about wanting to be together like last Friday?”



“Yeah… I guess… I guess that’s what I meant to say.”



“I don’t know. It feels very complicated now… more complicated now. I… I don’t want to hurt Barb, I don’t want to hurt you, I know I’m going to think about us together, us… making love, from now on though.”



“You mean… us… fucking?”



I actually smiled. “I prefer making love mixed with a healthy dose of fucking.”



“No kidding.”



I chuckled and heard Lana giggle softly. “Lana, did you have good time with me? Did I hurt you at all? I hope to god I didn’t hurt you.”



“I was sore, and… and at the start, I mean… you know, with… with your dick, it… it hurt a little but not that much, and then it felt so good, and all that.. that oral stuff you did, just… drove me crazy. I… I guess near the end it… it half hurt and half felt good, but… I didn’t want to stop. I… I liked it all.”



I smiled. “So, you really did enjoy it?”



“Yes.” She took a breath. “Did… did you like it with me?”



“Yeah, you’re a great lover, very feminine… you felt perfect and… and you give good beejay.” I chuckled softly, then instantly regretted that ending bit of humor. I began to open my mouth not sure how to correct it when Lana spoke first.



“Do… I guess you don’t remember what I told you about… about doing oral and… and hooking up, do you?”



“Ahhh… when was that?”



“At the end.”



“Sorry, but… like I said… ah… no, I don’t remember. What did you say?”



“I… I’ve only been with two other guys, like one time each, and… and I like made it seem that I did a lot of, you know, oral on guys, but I… I haven’t.”



“You’re ki…” I figured I shouldn’t say what I was about to say.



“Kidding? No. That’s the truth. I… I know Barb is… is probably a lot hotter in bed than me, and… um… I was hoping to be… you know, okay.”



“You’re a fantastic lover, Lana.”



“As… as good as her? Nevermind… I know I’m not. Dumb question.”



“She has more experience but I don’t think that necessarily makes her better. You each are unique. You’re both great lovers. I mean that, you really are, Lana. Eroticism is more than just knowing the moves, it’s… it’s deeper than that, it’s… it’s… well, someone once said the biggest sexual organ, or… maybe it was the biggest erogenous zone, was the brain. I guess it was ‘organ.’”



Lana giggled softly. “I like that. I’ll have to remember that.” There was a few moments of silence. “Could… could I ask you something that… like is not really related to what we’re talking about?”



“Yeah, like before, that doesn’t mean I’ll answer. Shoot.”



“Why do you drink so much? Why… why does Mom drink so much?”



“I want to give you an answer, but I don’t know if I can. I drink like I do, because… well, the simple answer is I’m an alcoholic.”



“So, it’s really an addiction. Do you think you’ll ever stop, that… that Barb will ever stop?”



“It’s an addiction, but… it seems more than that for me, Lana. I… I have this feeling, and I guess I’ve had it before too, that… that I think Barb can quit. I… I think I may not be good for her. And me? I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to quit.”



“You and her have quit for… for weeks though. And… and neither of you get drunk every single day.”



“You don’t have to drink every day to be an alcoholic. I can’t seem to get past three weeks dry. I can’t get to that fourth week. Does… that answer your question?” I really didn’t want to talk about my drinking.



“Um… I guess.”



I could tell that wasn’t enough. “What else do you want to know about it?”



“You said it felt like more than an addiction. What did you mean by that?”



“That’s just my view of it. I know other addicts feel the same about their drug of choice, or feel similar maybe, but… drinking is where I can hide when things get too hard for me to handle. I run away to the bottle, drown my fears, my anxieties, my worries, my anger, my frustration. It feels warm and good there. Mainly, getting drunk lets me escape.”



“Escape from what? Your… um… worries?”



“Yeah, like I just said, but it’s mostly it’s an escape from… from…” Something inside was stopping me from telling her.



“Escape from what?”



I took a slow breath. “An escape from… from myself.”



“Yourself? What… um… okay.”



“Can you keep a secret, Lana?”



“I… yes.”



My eyes started welling up. “I… I hate myself, and when I get wasted, I’m not with that guy anymore, so… so there’s no one to hate. I escape from myself.”



“You… you shouldn’t hate yourself.”



I wiped my eyes and smiled. “Easier said than done, honey.”



“Does… does Barb hate herself?”



“I don’t know, Lana. I hope she doesn’t.” I took a quick breath. “Could I ask you something?”



“I guess. But… I may not answer the question.”



I chuckled. “That was funny.”



“I wanted to make you smile.”



“You did.”



“What’s the question?”



“Do you really hate your mother?” I had to wait ten seconds.



“I… maybe I’ve hated her at times. Maybe… sometimes I still do.”



“Growing up, did she spank you… punish you physically?”



“No, she usually just yelled at me, said… said I didn’t appreciate her enough, stuff like that. Once… once when I was about ten, she… she got drunk and mad, and… and hit me across the face really hard. But… that was the only time. When… when I was about eleven, she… she stopped yelling so much at me, usually when she was drunk she… she mostly cried a lot in her bedroom and… and moped around. She… I know it’s been my fault, at least some of it, but she started shouting at me again, when… um… when you came on the scene. Um… why did you ask that?”



“I hoped she hadn’t done that, and… and I wanted to know if you hated her.”



“I… I like don’t hate her, I guess.”



I smiled. “That sounded funny.”



“What? What do you mean?”



“I like don’t hate her.”



“Oh… yeah, I guess that was a queer way to say it.”



“‘Like’ has become the new ‘uh’ or ‘ah’.”



“Yeah, I think I’ve heard that before… sometime like recently.”

I chuckled again. “You’re funny. I thought you might be.” Had I really? I guess I wasn’t sure if I had or not.



“You’re funny too.”



“Lana? I don’t want things to be so screwed up. And I don’t want to screw up your life, and… I don’t wanna screw up Barb’s life more than I have already.”



“I don’t want things to be screwed up either. I can take care of myself, so don’t worry about screwing up my life.”



I wondered if that last part was true. “Lana? We can’t hurt Barb. I… I don’t know if she’d be able to deal with it if she found out about last Friday.”



“I… I know. I guess… I don’t want to hurt her either.”



“My problem is that I don’t want to hurt her, but I want to make love with you too.”



“I have the same problem.”



There was another long patch of silence. Lana broke it. “You know what else I think?”



I wondered what she was going to say. “What?”



“I think you should go to bed because it’s getting really late and you have to get up early for work.”



I knew there was nothing more to say at the moment and realized Lana knew that before me. “I guess you’re right. You should get some sleep too.” I heard her rise from the floor, so I did too.



Lana spoke softly again, “Are you still there?”



“Yeah. What is it?”



“Thanks for… coming to my door tonight.”



“I’m really glad we talked.”



“Me too. I… I really want to kiss you goodnight, but I think if I do that, I’ll… not want to let you go.”



“Lana? This is the truth… I was thinking the exact same thing.” I really had been.



“I’m glad you said that. Tomorrow are… are you going to remember us talking tonight?”



I nodded to the door. “Yeah. I’m gonna remember.



“Good.”



“Goodnight, Lana.”



“Goodnight. Sweet dreams.”



I returned to my bedroom, took a couple ibuprofen with a swig of warm beer, pulled off my shorts, got into bed, and incredibly fell asleep within minutes.


* * *”I… I wanted it to piss you off. I’m… um… sorry.”



I looked at her. I wasn’t sure how to respond. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.” I rose and walked quickly to my bedroom grabbed something off the closet shelf then returned to the couch. “This is… a graduation gift I… ah… forgot to give you. It’s from me. You’ll probably think it’s dumb, but… well… here.” I handed Lana the giftwrapped books. I smiled. “But… you better toss the gift wrapping out.”



“I… I thought the other gift was really from you and Barb.”



I saw her eyes well up. “That was from your mom mostly, I guess. This one’s from me mostly.”



Lana pulled the wrapping off. “Books?”



“Yeah, I know… dumb. Barb said it would be a stupid present, but… well, I thought you might do some reading before school this fall, to… well, just do some reading. They’re… not really classics… well, maybe modern classics. There’s one that I think you should try to read sometime. It… it made me think when I was in my early college days.”



“Which one?” Lana looked at the three books.



Steppenwolfe. Herman Hesse is the author.” I took it out of her hands. “German guy, can’t recall exactly when he lived, mid 20th century I think. There’s a segment in this where… well, it’s sort of an interesting… sort of a basic and simplistic explanation of life, involving a chess game. It… it’s simple yet when I first read it, it seemed really deep, at least I thought that when I was a freshman or sophomore in college. It… it just made me think. I… well, I hoped it might make you think too.”



“I’ll read it.”



“The other two are supposed to… you know, be modern literature, not just fiction. I’ve read ‘em, they’re good novels.”



“Um… thank you.”



“You’re welcome.” My gut tensed slightly. “Oh, in that larger one, I left the receipt if you want to retu…”



Lana broke in, “I won’t be returning them.”



I wanted to ask her about returning the dress but I didn’t want to rock the boat of whatever had started today. Friendship? Neutral coexistence? Tentative steps down the path leading to hot, passionate, erotic love? She was still staring at the books. Her hand rose and her fingers wiped her eyes quickly.



“You okay, Lana?”



She wiped her eyes quickly again. She kept staring at the book. “I… I should have been here when… when she called.”



I didn’t know what to say for a couple moments. “Yeah, you should have, but I bet in the future for something similar, you will be there to take the call.” I saw her nod then wipe her eyes once more.



Lana stood. “I’m um… pretty tired. I think I’ll go to bed.” She looked at me. “Thanks again for the present, and for… dinner tonight. It… was fun.”



“It was fun. We’ll… do that more often.”



“Um… goodnight.”



“Goodnight.” I smiled and added. “Sweet dreams.” It was what she had said to me a couple times, nicely last night, and another time like a bitch.



“You too.” She glanced at the vacuum. “I’ll… finish with that tomorrow.”



“Okay.”



“Night.”



Night, Lana.”



If she had waited another moment, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from kissing her. I was glad she hadn’t dallied. I watched her walk from the room holding the books against her chest, her head bowed slightly. I wondered where the girl I was now looking at had been three years ago. I knew the problems she had with Barb weren’t pretend. There was history there. Me coming onto the scene may have just stirred it up more. For maybe the millionth time since I was fifteen, I wondered why life had to be so goddamn fucked up.



My gut tensed. All day I had been thinking so much about how Lana had acted this morning, that I had hardly given any thought to what she had said last night from behind her door. Jeezuz… did I remember everything? I promised her I would. Had she said she felt more than ‘like’ for me? She had said that. Was she trying to say she had a crush on me? She couldn’t have meant she felt ‘love’ for me, could she? Wait. She had also said she hated me too, didn’t she? Hated me and Barb because… because I didn’t pay attention to her? It was something like that. She had also said she still felt ‘more than like’ towards me. I was right this morning, everything had suddenly taken on an emotional dimension. What did I feel towards her?



My palms rubbed my face. I knew one thing I felt towards her. My cock had been half mast all evening. Was it more than sex for me? I knew it had been today. At the job today I did think about screwing her, but I also thought about taking her out to dinner tonight. I liked her this morning. I liked her last night too. I had been hoping that last Friday might somehow be a foundation, albeit an odd one, for us to build a friendship on. I wasn’t sure how that would follow, but she had been at least friendly this morning. And then doing all the cleaning, that surprised me so much, then dinner, the mall, the grocery store, I hadn’t really had time to think about what she had said last night and all the implications. I took a deep breath and sighed. Now I was too damn tired to think about it.



I turned off the TV and lamps, checked the doors were locked, then headed to my bedroom. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, took my clothes off and got into bed. I tried not to think about screwing Lana less than a week ago. I kept seeing her and what we had done in my mind. My cock was throbbing hard after ten minutes. I wanted to beat off but not to a mental porn vid of her and I fucking. I tried to think of Barb, tried to remember some really hot time with her, but Lana kept getting in the way. I tried not to think about anything. At 11:00PM I switched on the radio, volume low, tuned to NPR, listening to BBC Overnight, hoping Brit voices, speaking English I sometimes I couldn’t decipher, would lull and dull me to sleep. It didn’t work.



A few minutes before midnight, I tossed the sheet off me, turned off the radio, put on my gray jogging shorts and went to the kitchen. I was considering having a short bourbon water, medicinal, to help me sleep, but I had been sober since Saturday morning and didn’t want to break the streak. I opened the fridge and grabbed a can of Coke, popped it open, and sat at the kitchen table. I took a long drink, then set the can down. I put my elbows on the table and leaned forward so my palms could cup and hold the top of my head. I didn’t want to think about Lana. Sometimes when I held my head like that, I’d have this brief vision, maybe it was just a wish, that I could pop my head like it was a huge zit and never have to think again.



“Are you okay?”



I jerked in my chair to sitting upright. “Jeezuz… you scared the hell out’a me.” Lana was standing at the kitchen entryway.



“Sorry. Are… you okay?”



“Ahh… yeah, couldn’t sleep. What are you doing up?”



“I can’t sleep either.”



We stared at each other in the darkened house for some very long moments.



“Lana?”



“Uh-huh?”



“I can’t stop thinking about making love with you.”



“I… I can’t either.”



Even though my dick was throbbing hard, it wasn’t what made me push the chair back and stand up, nor walk over to Lana and take her in my arms, nor press my lips to hers. For some reason, I did it though. As her mouth opened wider and my tongue greeted hers, I didn’t need any voice of conscience in my mind screaming at me that I was making another huge mistake. I knew I was. I couldn’t stop myself. Maybe I didn’t want to stop myself. I wanted her. Maybe I needed her.



She was wearing the same long, large red T shirt she had this morning. She wasn’t teasing me to get me to do anything. It was all my own free will as my hands slid down her back to her perfect, seductive, apple ass. I cupped those cheeks gently, then more firmly. As she had that Friday night, she released a huff of air into my mouth when I squeezed harder but her tongue never interrupted its thrilling dance with mine, nor stop her from squirming her little body against me.



I broke the kiss. We were both already breathing heavily. I kissed the side of her neck and then pushed my face into her fragrant hair. My arms moved again, surrounding her. “Ahhh… Lana.”



She whispered breathlessly, “Please… don’t feel guilty about this. We’ll… maybe we should just take one day at a time. Not… not think about tomorrow.”



I was giving her neck kisses again. “Yeah… yes. Not worry about tomorrow.” I wanted her so much I didn’t remember that there were always tomorrows to worry about, and that for every action there were consequences. At the moment though, all I could do was think about Lana in my arms, about how much I wanted her, to make her feel so good and have her do the same for me. At the moment, I could only live in the ‘now.’



“I wanted us to do i… to make love when… when you hadn’t been drinking.”



“Me too, Lana.”



We kissed again. Our tongues even more passionate than a minute ago. It was passion not lust, at least I think there’s a difference, it at least felt different to me. One of my hands roamed down her back to her luscious bottom, firmly but gently tracing her curves, barely dipping my fingertips into her deep valley. She wasn’t wearing panties. I slowed then broke the kiss. I planted a few warm, moist caresses on her neck which she arched for me. I kissed her cheek, her temple, then my lips were at her ear.



“I want you in my bed, Lana.”



She whispered, “I want to be there too.”



My arm went around her and she leaned into me as we walked to my room. At the bed I tossed the comforter and top sheet towards the footboard. I raised her shirt over her head and off, then took my shorts off. I told her to lie down in the center of the bed. I pulled a pillow over and asked her to raise her hips. I slid the pillow under her bottom and crawled onto the bed, my torso between her legs, my legs extended over the end of the mattress. My hands slid under her bottom. I raised her slightly as my face descended to her muff. I planted kisses in her trimmed bush then stroked my face gently over her already dewy flower. I kissed her slit, then drew my tongue up between her petals to her pink pearl. I swirled my tongue over and around it.



Lana murmured, “Mmmmhhh.” Her legs folded slightly so her knees rose, her feet flat on the mattress. Her legs flexed as she pushed her pussy to my mouth.



I slid my tongue lower and wiggled it into the her moist channel. Again she pushed towards my mouth and her hips slowly swayed. My hands moved from under her and slid up her sides then onto her small pliant mounds, my thumbs stroked over her already pouting nipples. My tongue became more ardent as did Lana’s churning hips. I pushed it and pulled it back another dozen times then slid it to her turgid pearl, rubbing it firmly.



Lana murmured, “Oh… mmmh… oh gawd.” Her breathing grew more ragged. “I… I want you inside me.”



I raised my face slightly and stated kissing around her muff. “Not yet.” My tongue wiggled into her slippery, warm cunnie as deep as I could push it, then swirled it around over and over again.



“Mmmh-h-h-h,” Lana’s murmur quavered.



As my tongue worked, my thumbs and index fingers held her raspberry nubs, tugged and twisted them slightly, then my hands fondled her diminutive breasts. I slid my tongue to her clit again and rubbed it frantically.



“Oh… oh… yeah.. ye… ye… yeah… mmmhhh.” Lana’s little body started trembling. “Now… now please… I… I want you inside.”



I wanted to be inside her too but I wanted her to reach orgasm first. She pushed up more, then her hands held my head. I stroked my tongue harder and faster on her pearl, pushing it side to side sometimes, rubbing it hard, lapping at it. Her trembling grew into shaking. My tongue strokes increased speed again.



“Oh… oh.. oooooohhhhh!”



Lana stated twitching. I licked her clit a few more seconds then pushed my tongue as far as I could into her, swirling it around within her warm, buttery, tight channel. She started shaking harder, the twitches were more frequent. I rubbed her clit again. My hands left her breasts and quickly moved under her firm buns. I raised her, then slid my tongue down to her hot little hole, giving it a few swirls, then returned to her clit.



“Ohhhhh… oh oh gawd… yeah.”



Her body shuddered intensely. I hoped that was an orgasm because my tongue was exhausted. I smeared my face around her little muff. I was breathing heavily but her gasps were louder than my own.



I slid my hands up her sides again, as I worked my body up over hers. I held my weight off her with my elbows as I started a trail of kisses up her torso, lingering at her breasts, kissing her mounds and nipples, sucking them, rubbing each with my tongue. Her hands went to my shoulders as I kissed along both ridges of her collar bones, then around her neck, then her face. I raised my head and looked into her beautiful blue eyes. I asked, “Was that okay?”



She smiled, then giggled softly. I moved a little higher and felt the head of my throbbing cock touch her warm, wet slit. I slid the length of my rod through her parted, glistening labs and over her pearl. She twitched then pushed up against me again. I reversed course down her slit, then slowly up again. “Does this feel good?”



Lana nodded, “Uh-huh.”



I slowly stroked my cock against her wet pussy another half dozen times, then said, “Do you want me inside you?”



She nodded again. “Yes.”



“Guide me in.” I pushed my torso up and raised my hips a little. My fingertips combed her hair away from her pretty face while she reached between us, held my cock and moved the head to the entrance of her channel. I nudged inside. Lana’s eyes closed and her breathing tempo increased. I pushed in a fraction more. She was as tight, warm, and slippery as I recalled. Push in, pull back, push in, pull back, I worked my cock into her slightly deeper each time. Her hips started swaying again.



She whispered, “Oh god.”



“Feel good?”



“Yes. To you too?”



“You feel wonderful around me, Lana.”



It took a few more moments before I pulled back and slowly slid all the way into her. Her channel gripped around me tightly. My hips swayed so did hers.



“Oh god… you’re so big.”



“Quit saying that.”



“Huh?”



“Lana, I’m just average.”



“No you aren’t. You’re big.”



“No, I’m not.”



“Yeah, you are.” She pushed harder against me.



“No, I’m not.” I also pushed and swayed with more intensity.



“Yes, you are.”



I smiled. “Shut up.”



She giggled. “You shut up.”



At the moment I heard her soft laugh, I knew we were making love, not just fucking. I lowered my face and we kissed. Our tongues entwining like long time dance partners. I pulled back and slid into her slowly, then again and again, picking up the speed and strength with each drive of my rod. Lana did the same in a perfect counterpoint rhythm. A few minutes later I was thrusting into hard enough to hear the– smat – smat – smat… of our groins meeting. Lana’s legs folded more but her feet stayed flat on the mattress.



She spoke between gasps of breath, “Does… this… feel… good… to… you?”



“Yeah… you?”



“Uh-huh.”



“I’m not going to last very long… you… you feel too good.”



“I wanna feel you cum. I wa… do it… do it anytime.” She took a few quicker breaths and then squirmed and thrust to meet me more intensely. “Now… do it now.”



I pushed deep and churned against her. “I wanna last longer. Does… does it feel bad… are you tender or something?”



“No… I mean… it feels good… I… wanna feel you cum, and… I wanna make you feel good.”



I smiled then gave her breasts a few sucking kisses. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You are making me feel good.”



My arms slid behind her knees, folding her legs up as my torso rose and I folded my legs under me. I sat on my heels. I put her pretty little feet on my chest then rocked my cock in and back within her wet, hugging pussy. “This okay?” She nodded. I twisted my arm and hand around her thigh so I could get my thumb onto her clit. “This better?” Her eyes closed, her neck arched and pushed the back of her head into the pillow. I smiled. “Feels good to me too.”



She whispered, “Oh god.”



I moved us into a few more positions, keeping my cock within her the entire time, sometimes we laughed as she tried to follow my directions of where to move her leg or put her foot so I didn’t have to withdraw from her amazing, tight cunt. Finally we were sitting up, my back against the headboard, her back against my chest, her feet flat on my thighs close to my knees. One of my hands was stroking and playing with her taut nipples and firm, pliant feminine mounds, while two fingers of my other hand rubbed and caressed her clit. She pushed down with her feet using her legs to rise and lower while squirming wildly on my rod as I shoved up in short strokes.



Her breathing was fast and ragged as she spoke, “Oh… oh god… I’m s-so… close… cum… ohgod… cum-in-me… now… now… NOW!”



Lana started shaking almost violently, squirming her hips crazily, while driving her pussy and ass against me with force. I couldn’t hold back any longer.



“Ahh… oh jeezuz… Lana… I’m… oh… fu-uuuuck!” I jerked forward, my arm held her chest and I had to concentrate on keeping my fingers moving on her clit as my body tensed and the first shot of seed boiled up from my balls and spewed deep in her quivering channel.



“I… I feel it! Oh… ohgod!”



I grunted again, “ARRRH!” As the second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth spasms traveled up my cock and spewed more of my thick spunk deep in contracting pussy. Lana’s neck arched back and she pushed her face into my neck and profile. I could hear her loud gasping breaths. She kept pushing down on me as she shook and twitched. It took us both a couple minutes to settle down.



I chuckled softly, “Jeezuz, Lana.”



“What?”



“That felt… incredible.” I kissed her neck then her cheek then her ear.



“I…” She swallowed and took a deep breath. “I thought so too.”



I gave her shoulder a kiss. I was glad I wasn’t shrinking really fast. “I really like being inside you. You… feel… perfect. Perfect and delicious.” I smiled and gave her shoulder another kiss.



“Did… did I really taste okay?”



“Yeah, wonderful, clean, fresh, hot.”



“I… I can’t believe I had two orgasms again.”



I wondered if she as lying. I figured one or the other had to be faked. “Really?”



“Uh-huh.”



I didn’t push it. If she was lying it was for my benefit. I smiled. “Well, I had five.”



She giggled. “Shut up. You had one. Do… do you want me to suck you now?”



“That might have been nice, but you asked.”




“Huh?”



“I don’t like to be asked. I figure if the girl wants to, she’ll either do it, or tell me she wants to.”



“I meant it like that.. okay, it was a question, but I meant it that way. I want to.”



“It sounded like quid pro quo to me.”



“I bet you think I don’t know what that means.”



I chuckled. “I don’t care if you know or not.”



“I know what it means.”



“Dammit.”



“What?”



“You made me laugh and it made my cock shrink faster. I’m going to slip out any second.”



Her brow pinched. “Does laughing make it shrink?”



I could tell it was a serious question. “I don’t know.” I chuckled.



She exhaled sharply.



“You want something to drink? Water? Soda?” I didn’t want us to touch any booze tonight. We both flinched when I slipped out. “I’ll get us something to drink. What do you want?”



“No, I’ll go. What do you want?”



“A Coke. I think I left one on the kitchen table.”



I watched her slide off the bed, then gawked at her seductive ass as she headed to the door. Her hand cupped her pussy.

copyright ©2009 by A_Satori. All rights reserved.



[Author's note: This story is Part 3, the conclusion of A Prison Break I recommend both previous "chapters" be read prior to reading the story below.]



[Acknowledgments: My thanks to Andrea4328 for her editorial input. Her work on this story is greatly appreciated. Any mistakes remaining in the text are mine alone.]


****************I was glad she had taken off that damn dangling chain from her eyebrow ring when I asked her to do it. I looked at the small group of dancers. It was so crowded in the club, it seemed more like they were just moving up and down, a bubbling area of bodies in the sea of zombies. I figured I could bounce up and down. I exhaled, finished my drink, set the cup on the table, and said, “Fine! One dance!”



Lana grinned and instantly started pulling me towards the undulating circle. We pushed into the group passed a few couples. Lana started dancing, got into it right away, including the theatrical facial expression. On the other hand, even after three drinks, one being a double, I stood there swaying a little, feeling incredibly self-conscious. I just moved my hips and shoulders a bit, hoping there wouldn’t be a burst of laughter from the mob.



I looked around. I hadn’t seen college age people dance in a while. I noticed a couple to our left, the guy was basically dry humping the girl’s ass. I looked to the right. Another couple was doing the same thing. I saw another guy crouch down and his date moved between his spread thighs and virtually shoved her cunt right into his face. I stopped looking when Lana backed her seductive apple ass into my crotch. Her head twisted around.



“Put your hands on my waist!”



I did. Her hands covered mine and held them. She started dry humping my now full erection. I basically just stood there. Tens seconds later she bumped her ass against my throbbing prick a few times.



“C’mon! Move too!”



I obeyed and started dry humping her butt. A half minute later she turned around, put my hands on her shoulders, her hands went to my waist, and as best she could in her miniskirt, she started rhythmically humping my thigh, then moved between my legs, then to my other thigh, the ‘into the music’ expression still painted on her face.



Dancing had really changed since my college days, although I had never paid that much attention to it back then either. Maybe I should have. I was always at the other end of the bar drinking. I smiled when Lana turned around again and her firm bottom pressed against my cock. My hands on her waist pulled her tighter to me. I began envisioning a night of wild lust when we got home. I couldn’t take my eyes off her butt.



We danced, or more accurately, humped through three more songs. We were both sweating when I leaned down and pressed my lips to her ear. “Let’s go home. You’ve made me so fuckin’ horny, honey.”



Lana giggled. “Not yet. C’mon. A few more dances.”



I pulled my head back to look into her eyes. She had her eyebrows raised and the rest of that goddamn cute Oh c’mon pleeeeease for me pleeeease face on. She was learning all my buttons pretty fast. Another song started as my lips went to her ear again. “I need another drink first!”



“No you don’t! Let’s just dance!”



I gripped her hand and shook my head. “Drink first!”



She exhaled. “All right!”



We waded through the crowd to the bar, it was slow going, then another couple minutes before a barmaid come over.



The young woman smiled. “What would you like?!”



I noticed her big tits again. “A double bourbon rocks and a…!” I looked at Lana. Her face was now wearing her I saw you checking her tits out expression. I smiled. “Wha’d'ya want?!”



“Ginger ale!”



I looked at the barmaid again. She nodded then stepped away and started building the drinks. I reached for my wallet. Lana tugged my arm. I dipped my head to her.



“You wish I had bigger boobs, don’t you?!” Her eyes were intense.



I gazed into her blues. I smiled and shook my head. “No! You’re incredibly perfect!”



She exhaled and rolled her eyes.



Our drinks arrived and I paid the young woman. “Keep it!”



We moved towards the wall where there was a better chance of getting a tiny table to stand at and actually have some elbow room. We found an open one. I was dying for a smoke but a city ordinance banning smoking in bars had passed a few months ago. I watched Lana sip her soda. Her body was swaying and turning to the beat of the music. I took a swig of my drink and set the plastic cup down. My hand went to her lower back as I kept watching her little body move and the profile of her pretty face.



She looked at me. “What?!”



I half smiled. “You look so damn hot!”



She nodded then flapped her hand in front of her face fanning herself. “I know! I wished they’d open windows or something!”



I chuckled. She wasn’t kidding. I leaned down to get my lips at her ear. My hand on her lower back drifted down to her ass. The wall was behind us. “I meant you have a very hot body, baby. I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” I gave her bun a firm squeeze, she tensed for a moment. “Why don’t I finish this drink and then we’ll just go home.” I kissed her neck. She tilted her head offering better access. I planted three more kisses on her warm, moist skin.



“We have to dance some more first! But… I’ll speed us up!” She set her soda down and grabbed my drink. She downed nearly all of it, just leaving a tiny sip.



My jaw clenched for a second. “Goddammit! Why did you do that?!”



She grabbed her soda and took a big gulp to wash the taste of whiskey from her mouth. She looked me squarely in the eyes. “You’re drunk enough! I… I wanna be with you, not totally drunk you!”



My jaw loosened. Her simple statement diffused my anger. I was getting pretty loaded. And I was driving. I smiled, my lips went to her ear again. “Fine. I’m actually glad you drank that because I like being with the little bit drunk you better.” I laughed.



“Shut up!” She slapped my arm pretty hard.



“That was a joke! You bitchy little booze thief!” I took her soda and had a large sip.



“Watch it or you may not get any tonight! And give me that!”



I laughed as she took her plastic cup from my hand. She finished it then grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bubbling pool of rhythmic dry humpers.



After three more dances I told Lana if we didn’t leave now, I’d cum in my pants, and I didn’t want to waste it on Fruit of the Looms. Maybe because of the dancing the liquor seemed to have hit her bloodstream really fast. She looked at me with slightly inebriated eyes, then wrapped her hand around the back of my neck and pulled my head down so her lips were at my ear.



“I want you inside me so badly right now. Let’s go.”



We got to the truck as quickly as we could. After a few deep tongue exercising kisses that were about to lead to something more, Lana broke away, breathing heavily and said, “Let’s get going. Just be careful driving. Don’t speed, just… just hurry up.”



I laughed and headed towards the expressway. After we got past the busier city traffic and were nearing the first suburb, I put my right hand on Lana’s thigh, stroking it, moving her miniskirt higher and higher, until my palm cupped the cotton panel covering her pussy. It felt warm and slightly damp. She squirmed in her seat, moving closer to me without removing her seat belt.



“Take your panties off, Lana.” I thought she’d give me some smart remark, but she quickly raised her ass and pulled the little garment down and off her legs. She had taken her pumps off. I looked at her feet. “Put the heels on again.”



She giggled and mumbled, “You perv.” She slipped them on.



My hand went back to her pussy. I worked slit and clit with a couple fingers. She really got slippery. Ten minutes from our exit, she had an orgasm.



At the house we virtually ripped each other’s clothes off. I got the comforter from my bed and spread it out on the living room floor, then got all four pillows from my bed and a small, black plastic bag from the closet shelf. Lana was already lying on the comforter, her little, naked body making my stiff cock throb with increased lust. I put the pillows down then sat and handed her the bag.



“What’s this?” She sat up.



“Little present.”



She pulled out the anal plug ‘training set,’ a string of condom packets, and a new tube of lubricating gel. She held up the plugs. “These… these are new?”



“Yeah. They’re yours now. I washed them already.” I watched her get all three plugs out of the plastic box. “Do… do you still wanna try it?” I saw her smile.



She looked at me. “Yeah. Do… do you?”



I chuckled and she rolled her eyes.



“Do… do I put these in?”



I smiled. “No, I will, but first…” I took everything from her hands and set it to the side. “I need to kiss every square of you.”



I nudged her down to the comforter again. I started with her lips and worked my way down, dallying at her breasts, then much longer at her pussy, my hands holding her luscious bottom, raising her up, and tonguing her to another orgasm. I continued my oral journey all the way down to her toes. I told her to turn over. I began the reverse side trip, up from her heels, both legs, over the curves of her always pouting bubble butt, up her back to her shoulders, down both arms, then returning to her neck, dallying there then down her spine kissing but mostly just drawing a line with the tip of my tongue to her tailbone.



I pulled a couple pillows over. “Raise up.” Her bottom rose and I pushed the two pillows under her hips. “Okay.” She lowered onto them. Her ass looked glorious. I held her hips and smeared my face across her smooth, firm buns. I was breathing faster and deeper than normal. “Ahhh… Lana.”



I gripped her fleshy swells and opened her deep valley. She stiffened for a moment then relaxed. My tongue laved on and around her hot little hole. She tensed again for a few seconds.



“Oh…. ohhhhhgahhhhhd,” she murmured.



My tongue worked as my palms massaged her glutes. I could hear her breathing quickening again, just as it had when my mouth was on her pussy.



She whispered, “I want you inside me there… oh god… mmmhh.” Her hips churned.



I pulled my face away and moved to get the tube and the small and medium plugs. I slid another pillow next to Lana’s shoulder, and told her to raise up into a half doggy position. She knew what I meant. She pulled the pillow under her head and her butt rose as her legs moved into a kneeling position. I lubed the smallest plug and set it down, then my fingertip applied some lube to her hot little hole. She giggled and tensed at the coolness of the gel. As I brought the tip of my middle finger to the apex of her anus, my other hand went under her and cupped her little pussy. My finger found her clit still turgid, still slippery from my earlier oral ministrations. Her hips squirmed for a moment. I wiggled and gently pressed the tip of my finger at the center of her squinting little hole.



I spoke softly, “Anytime you don’t like something, tell me and we’ll stop. Okay?”



“Uh-huh. I want to do this.”



“Relax and push out a little.”



I knew that sounded contradictory but I didn’t know how else to say it. I felt her anus relax. My finger started slowly undulating into her ass.



“Oh god.” Lana’s breathing quickened.



I worked her clit a little faster. “Do you like this?”



“Uh-huh.”



Within a minute the entire length of my middle finger was repeatedly slowly sliding forward and retracting within her ass. She started pushing back to meet my probing digit. She reached under herself and grabbed my hand playing with her pussy.



“Don’t… I’ll cum if you keep doing that. I… I don’t want to yet.”



I pulled my hand away and stroked her inner thigh, then her small breasts. I finger fucked her ass for another minute, then brought the smallest plug to her slightly open little hole. I touched the smooth tip to the tiny ‘o’.



“Push out a little like before.”



She was panting. “Okay.”



My other hand cupped her pussy again. I slowly worked the plug into her. The first half slid in easily, then she tensed. “Relax, baby.” I felt her hole loosen. I pushed it all the way in. As the widest part passed her anus, she tensed for a moment until it popped inside. I fingered the base of the plug, pushing forward and side to side. “You okay”"



“Uh-huh. It… it felt big for a second.”



I pulled it out a minute later and repeated the process with the gelled medium size toy. Her breathing turned ragged when it popped inside.



“Uh. That’s… feels… um… bigger.” She moaned when I started diddling her clit again. “Mmmhhhh.” I wiggled the base for a minute or so, then pulled the plug partially out, just passed the widest part, and then pushed it back in. She tensed for a moment.



“Ohgod,” she whispered.



I did it again, then three more times. Her little hole expanding and contracting– o-O-o. “Do you like it?”



“Uh-huh… yessss.” She panted a few breaths. “I want your cock in me there.”



I did too. I pulled the plug out dropped it on the comforter and reached for a condom packet.



“Do you have to use that?”



“I… I think it’s best for… for disease or something.”



“Do you have some STD?”



“No. I think it’s for hepatitis.”



“Do you have that?”



“No.”



“Then… don’t use it. I… I want to feel you cum in my bottom.”



I wasn’t going to argue with her because I wanted the same thing. I lubed my aching, throbbing cock and reached over her for the pillows. “We’ll start with you on your side, I think that’s the easiest way to… to begin with. Let me pull these pillows out of the way. It’ll be like spooning.”



“Okay.”



I moved the pillows out from under her as she rolled onto her side.



“Can you reach back and hold your top bun open?”



“Uh-huh.” She did it.



I saw her anus was dilated, the hole about the size of the neck of the medium plug, about the diameter of a nickel. I didn’t use the largest plug, I thought she’d balk at trying my cock even if she could have taken the largest toy. The widest part of it was slightly smaller than my girth. “Jeezuz, Lana… every inch of you is beautiful.” My hand guided the head of my cock to her hot, now open, hole. I nudged the lubed tip in.



“Ohgod.”



“If you want to stop, just tell me. I’ll stop.”



“Okay.”



I firmly and gently started pushing in. “You can push back when you feel like it.”



“Oh god… you feel so big.”



I didn’t argue about that this time. Half the head of my prick was being hugged by her hot ring. I felt my balls tighten. “Urrh… jeezuz… I’m not going to last long, Lana, this… this is too damn hot.”



“Don’t… I… I want you all the way inside.”



I’m not sure how long it took, but with starts and stops, and mostly letting Lana push back when she wanted, my cock finally sunk all the way into her hot ass. Her torrid anus was gripping the base of my prick as if it was holding on for dear life. I was taking ragged breaths, so was she. “Lana… this feels so damn good, so… so incredibly hot. Are… are you okay, baby?”



“Uh-huh… god… but you’re so… big.”



I pulled the pillows over. “Let’s try to turn onto your stomach, so you’re on the pillows again. Tell me to stop if it hurts.”



“Okay.”



We slowly rolled into the position, my cock still deep in her ass. “You okay?”



“Uh-huh.”



I held my weight off her back with my left elbow as my right hand slid under her. My middle fingertip started diddling her still turgid clit.



“Mmmhhh.”



“Lana, I want to start moving my cock. Okay?”



“Uh-huh. I… I feel so full of you.”



Even though I was a hair away from shooting my wad, I almost laughed, thinking being full of me was about the same as being full of shit.



“I like this… it… it feels hot and… and so weird.” She shivered when I kissed her shoulder. “Your finger… ohgod… I’m getting close.”



I slowly retracted my cock, enjoying each inch creep passed her hugging sphincter.



“Mmmmm… oh… oh yeah.”



I pushed into her again. She tensed. I stopped.



She exhaled. “Keep going.”



I obeyed, slowly my cock sunk into her luscious ass. I squirmed my hips. I almost shot my load when I felt her ass push into my groin and squirm too. Jeezuz… she did like it. If I wasn’t so close to cumming I would have grinned. I pulled back and pushed in again, grinding again when I was fully planted in her. She responded again.



“Oh yeah… do it… do it a little faster.” Her breathing grew more ragged.



I pulled back and pushed in with a bit more speed. She moaned when I grinded for a few seconds. I kept pulling back and pushing in, and my finger continued playing with her pink pearl. A minute or so later, we got into a good rhythm. I was fucking Lana anally. I was fucking Lana’s perfect, hot, apple ass. Just the thought again almost made me shoot. “Honey… I can’t wai…”



She interrupted. “Oh god! Harder… I’m-I’m-I’m gonna…. ooooh.”



I pulled back and did more of a thrust than a push. She shoved her ass up and back, her hot hole gulping my muscle into her bottom. It was a miracle I lasted three more thrusts. After the second one I nearly shouted, “I’m gonna cum!”



“Yes! Now! NOW!” Lana began convulsing, her hand made it to mine at her pussy and she pulled it away.



I thrust into her ass the hardest yet, my groin smacking her bottom – smat! – and that was it. “ARRRRH!” My hips went crazy as if they were trying to get more of my fully engulfed cock up her ass. My body went rigid. I pushed my face into the pillow at her head. “Ahh! Fu-UK!” My rod started pumping in her rectum. It felt like each spasm spewed a lot of jiz. I kept pushing down and she kept pushing up and swaying her hips. Jeezuz… it felt so damn good. Finally I was spent.



I started gasping breaths. Lana already was. I had to take a dozen breaths and swallow a couple times before I could speak. “Honey…” I swallowed and gasped yet again. “… are you okay?” Her head turned towards mine on the pillow. We exhaled and inhaled each other’s breaths.



Lana smiled. “Uh-huh.” She huffed a few more gulps of air. “That was so… so hot and so… god…. I felt so full of you, so… so close to you, like… like the regular way.”



I raised more of my weight off her back. I kissed her lips and smiled. “This is… a little naughty though, isn’t it?”



She released a soft giggle. “You make me naughty.” She took another breath. “Are… there other positions?”



I chuckled. “Yeah, just like the regular way, there’s other positions.”



She took a few deeper breaths. “Which do you like best?”



I glanced at the couch, then gazed into her pretty blue eyes. “Like… you on the couch or on the bed, you know how sometimes I fold your legs up and back?”



“Uh-huh.”



“I could enter your sweet bottom that way, facing you. I’d… I’d really like to look at your face when we do it, I want to look into your eyes.” I swear she blushed.



“Can we do it that way tonight?”



“Aren’t you sore… tender?”



“I… I don’t know. No. I’m not tender.”



Incredibly, my softening cock in her ass started growing again.


* * *”Did Barb ever tell you about… ahh… why she’s no longer in contact with them?”



“She told me they had a fight, and they… they really didn’t love her or me at all, and… and I guess she and I were living with them then. They got really angry at Barb about something, they told her to take me and leave and never come back. They said if they ever saw her again, they’d… they’d get the police to take me away from her and… and put me in a foster home. Something like that. I’ve only asked Barb about it a few times, and… the stories were the same, but… but some details were different.”



“Do you know anything about them?”



“No, not really, she never wanted to tell me anything really. I… once I thought about looking them up on the internet, but… I don’t know their names, you know, their first names, and… well, Sullivan is… so common, there’s a lot of Sullivans in the white pages. I’m not even sure what state they live in.”



I gazed at the far wall. I remembered the linen closet photo vividly. Barb’s mother wouldn’t have put Lana in the foster care system. Something Lana just said had my wheels turning. I started to believe they had either threatened or told Barb they were going to take Lana away from her sans the foster care system, because of a different story I was remembering about her parents Barb had told me once when we were both half smashed at some bar. She said it was a couple months after she had finally gotten her high school diploma when her parents left her in the house alone for a week.



They had been invited to some friends’ cottage up in Wisconsin. She said they had surprised her coming home two days early. It had been really rainy at the cottage. She said her parents had walked in on her and her boyfriend of the time, asleep, drunk, naked in the living room. She said they had gotten really angry, she had never seen her father so angry, same for her mother.



When she had told that story, she never mentioned Lana. I hadn’t even thought of Lana when she had told it. Maybe because she was talking about just graduating and even though I knew she had Lana before that, being half smashed at the time, I just didn’t put Lana into my mental picture, especially since Barb didn’t mention her. Where was Lana? I doubted Gramma and Grampa had taken her to the cottage. She must have been with Barb.



Jeezuz… Barb might have forgotten all about Lana, maybe forgetting to feed her half the time, change her diaper, all that stuff. Her parents would have not only gone ballistic, they would have been scared as hell that something could have happened to Lana. They would have threatened, no, not threatened. They might have told her right then, they were going to take Lana away from her.



That had to be it! Barb would have gotten angry, then pleaded they not do it, made all sorts of promises to never screw up like that again. And, then… and then the next day or so, she would have taken Lana and run away.



Jeezuz… that had to be it. At least something like that. They would never have disowned their innocent granddaughter. They might have said they were going to take Lana away from her, even legally, and maybe said they were going to sign commitment papers forcing Barb into rehab. Her parents disowning her and Lana didn’t make sense at all, especially Lana. That woman in the photo would never have done that.



I knew I was inventing a story, but it made sense, especially tying together both the getting caught and the disowning stories. My imagined scenario wasn’t farfetched, it was very possible, especially the time frame. Jeezuz… why didn’t I ask Barb about Lana when she told that story?



Lana looked at me. “What… what are you thinking about?”



I blinked. “Huh? Ahhh… nothing, sorry. I… I just zoned out for a second.”



I looked at Lana. Jeezuz… she had lived all her life thinking her grandparents threw her and Barb out, not caring about nor loving her, believing they would have shoved her into foster care if they had the chance. Jeezuz.



I wondered if I should tell her what I now believed. Was it my place to tell her? Would she believe me? And she’s right, it would be really difficult to find them. I remembered that Barb had told me she grew up in Ohio one time, another time she had said Iowa. I never gave it much thought. I now had a feeling it was somewhere in Illinois… or maybe around Milwaukee or St. Louis? It probably wasn’t Wisconsin, but it had to be close enough to Wisconsin to drive there. She had said ‘up there’ too. We had talked about our childhoods, but she never mentioned the name of the town. Had I ever mentioned the name of the town I lived in when I was a kid? I must have, did she?



Lana raised her eyebrows. “What?”



“Huh? Sorry. Still zoning out.”



“Well… stop doing that.” She smiled.



She looked incredible at that moment, like who the little girl in the photo was meant to be. I cupped her face with my palm and gazed into her pretty blue eyes. “You’re really beautiful. Did you know that?”



Lana lightly blushed. “You don’t have to say that.”



I smiled. “Yeah, I think I do.” I kissed her lips softly.


* * *”Uh-huh… yesssss.” She panted a few deeper breaths too.



“Say it… tell me.”



“I want you to cum… cum in me… I wanna feel it… I wanna feel your cock pum… urh!” Lana’s little body jerked as I started ramming into her again.



All I had needed was to hear her asking. On the fourth plunge I stayed deep, grinding once more. “ARRRRH! FU-UCK!” My body leaned forward a little and stiffened as I felt my nuts tighten and the first dollop of hot jiz shoot up my rod and explode into her depths. Five more thick spurts followed immediately. Lana was squirming wildly again.



“Oh… ohgod I… I feel it!” She raised her feet and pushed her legs back and up then wrapped them around my thighs. I kept holding her hips.



My torso lowered to her back. I was gasping breaths. The anger that seemed to be brewing a few minutes ago had vanished. “Oh… jeezuz… baby.”



I stayed motionless for twenty seconds, still huffing my breaths as I kissed the back of her neck, then her temple, then her ear. I swallowed before speaking. “I think I’m addicted to you, Lana.”



She breathlessly giggled. “Feeling is… mutual.”



I smiled, kissed her neck, then my entire body froze. Even though I was still struggling for air, I stopped breathing. I had said the exact same thing to Barb, in this very position, at this same spot on the table about eight months into our marriage.



“Is… is something wrong?”



I exhaled. “No… nothing, honey.”



Lana turned her head as much as she could to look at me. “Then kiss me.”



I smiled and did.


* * *”You’re… that’s… too rough… Don’t…”



I growled, “You like it rough, Lana… you… told me.” I watched her ass jerk again as I rammed my prick into her. I felt her hand try to grab my hand from her little tits. I grabbed her other little breast.



“Ow! Don’t. Sto… Slow… slow down… not… not so rough… come… c’mon.”



I shut my eyes. I was too fuckin’ close to listen to her.



“Ow! My neck… stop that!”



My eyes shut tighter. I rammed deep again, stayed deep and grinded my cock into her and groin against her ass as hard as I could. “Arrrhh… arrrhh… AH! Fu-UCK!” My body stiffened, but my hips still grinded slightly. My cock started pumping, dollops of thick jiz spewed into her hot, tight, little cunt. I was hoping the fuck would unknot my gut. I guess it did for the most part. I started gasping breaths. I let go of Lana’s tits and the back of her neck. I held her hips.



Lana’s torso rose. She held the top of the head board and jerked her hips forward. My half hard cock popped out of her cunt.



“What the hell did you do that for?” I felt the anger start simmering again.



She didn’t answer me. She slid off the bed and started picking up her clothes around the room. I had nearly ripped them off her. She started towards the door.



I asked, “Where’re you going?” She didn’t answer and disappeared about the jamb into the hall. I exhaled sharply, then muttered, “Now what the fuck?” I lay down on my half of the bed. I mumbled to myself, “Fuck her if she thinks I’m going to run after her. What’s her fuckin’ problem anyway?”



A few minutes later I heard the shower in her bathroom.



I got up and peed, then did a quick wash to get the jiz and cunt juice off my cock. I considered a shower but had just taken one a couple hours ago when I got home from the job. I brushed my teeth and went back to the bed and lay down. I muttered again, “What the fuck is wrong with her? So it was a little rough, so fuckin’ what?”



A few minutes later she came back wearing her longest nightshirt T, the one that nearly went to her knees. She only came into the bedroom a couple steps. Her arms folded over her chest. “I… I didn’t like the way you were tonight. You… you were too rough with me. You weren’t paying attention to me.”



My face tensed. I glared at her. “So… you’re changing your mind about liking it when I get intense, when things get a little rough? You told me a dozen times… hell, two dozen times you like it like that. Now you’re changin’ your fuckin’ tune about it?”



“Okay, yeah, I do like it like that sometimes, but that’s when you’re with me.”



My brow pinched. “What the fuck are you talking about? I was with you. Where the fuck were you?”



“You weren’t with me! You were just fucking. You didn’t care who was in bed with you. It could have been any girl. It didn’t matter to you. I didn’t matter to you.”



“That’s bullshit. I was with you.” I knew she might be right. I didn’t want to think about it.



No you weren’t. You didn’t care about me. I-I told you it was too rough. I told you to stop. You didn’t care. You just kept fucking me, that’s… th-that’s all you cared about… fucking.”



I lied again. “Did you? If you did, I… I didn’t hear you or… or didn’t understand it exactly like that.”



“That’s a lie. You heard me.” She swallowed. Her eyes started welling. “Why… w-why did you d-do that to me?”



Ahhhh… shit. I didn’t need this fuckin’ bullshit tonight. I took a slow breath, then exhaled it just as slowly. “Okay… fine. I’m a jerk. Sorry.”



“You’re not sorry. You’re not s-sorry at all.” One of her folded arms over her chest moved. Her fingers quickly wiped her eyes then her arm returned to her chest.



My jaw clenched again. “How the fuck do you want me to say I’m sorry?”



Her face scrinched. “I… I-I want you t-to mean it.” She coughed or sobbed, I’m not sure which, then quickly wiped her eyes again. “N-nevermind. I… I guess it… I guess it doesn’t m-matter to you.” She turned and started towards the door.



Ahhh FUCK! I jumped out of bed and took two long strides to catch her before the doorway. I wrapped my arms around her. “Wait, Lana.”



“Why? Why should I?” She halfheartedly twisted in my arms.



“Look… I’m… I’m sorry. I really am. I just…”



“I told you to stop and… and you didn’t.”



My brow pinched again. She might have but I honestly didn’t remember that. I had heard her say something about being too rough, but I really couldn’t recall her saying ‘stop.’ I exhaled. Maybe she had. “If… when you did, I didn’t hear you. That’s the truth.”



“You’ve… you’ve said you never wanted to hurt me. Y-you did tonight.”



I actually got a little scared. I had pounded her cunt pretty good. “Are… are you bleeding or something?”



“Not that ki… I’m not bleeding, but yes, that hurt, but… but that’s not what I meant. You… you hurt me… y-you weren’t with me.”



I exhaled again. I made sure my voice was soft, figuring that would make it sound more like the truth, “Okay, I was being selfish, but… but I was with you.” I inhaled. “I’m sorry, Lana. I… I really didn’t mean to hurt you in any way.” Intellectually, I guess I was sorry, but in my gut, I wasn’t. In fact, I was even getting pissed off again.



“Do… do you really mean that?”



“Yeah, I really am sorry, and… and I was with you the whole time. I’ll… I’ll listen closer next time. I… I really didn’t hear you say stop.” I thought about the times she had fucked me like a sex maniac, and had asked me to fuck her the same way. Why the fuck were those times okay, but when… I took another breath. I knew she was right and that tightened my gut a little more. “Will you sleep with me tonight?”



Lana stayed silent for ten seconds. “Are… are you going to be nice?”



I almost laughed. What answer could I give but the one she expected? I grinned then blinked. Something had just happened inside me. The knot was nearly untied and I had no idea why. My sardonic grin softened to a real smile. I kissed her head. “Yeah, I’m gonna be nice. But…”



“What?”



You have to be nice too.”



“Don’t be an ass. I… I was serious about everything I said.”



My smile vanished. The joke hadn’t worked. “I know you were. Do you want to sleep with me?”



She took a slow breath. She waited ten seconds and two more kisses on her head before she spoke. “Yes.”


* * *”Here, take a dollar in change. It’s not worth more than four.” She kept holding my wrist as she pressed the single into my palm.



I chuckled. “Nah. You keep it. Bargaining with you was at least a dollar’s worth of fun.”



She closed my fingers over the bill and finally let go of my wrist. She started slowly backstepping away. “No. That chair’s not worth more than four. My… my son’s coming home later this evening. He’ll be putting things out tomorrow if… if you want to come back. I think he might have… you know, stereos, music CDs, that sort of thing.” She pushed her hair behind her ear again.



“Okay, well… maybe I’ll come back.”



She smiled. “Good. Do that.” She turned around and walked back to the table area.



For some reason I stood there gazing at her ass. It was slightly plump, but looked firm, fairly big tits too. She had that slightly hourglassy, fortyish figure. I’ve often wondered about chicks like that, wondered what it would be like having sex with a woman just like her. She looked over her shoulder and I got caught gawking. She grinned and gave me a little wave. I nodded and decided I should stop daydreaming and get my ass home.



I put the chair in the bed of the truck, got in and continued to the house, thinking about the chair all the way, my cock growing harder with each passing minute. As I pulled into the driveway, I considered leaving the chair in the truck and teasing Lana that I had bought her a new sex toy. I decided to skip the tease. I parked, got my soft cooler and the chair and entered the house through the garage and mud room.



“Hey, Lana?! You home?!” I grinned expecting to hear her shout telling me not to shout in the house. She had done that a couple times. I saw a piece of PC paper folded and tented on the kitchen table. There was printing on it. My grin faded away. I set the chair down and picked up the note. It read:



Dear Dopey,



Cindy called around noon. She wanted me to go to dinner and see a movie. I told her I’d get back to her. I tried for 2 hours to call you! EIGHT TIMES! Your cell was turned off AGAIN! So I’m out with Cindy tonight, you jerk. Don’t you dare get mad at me. You said I should be as normal as possible with friends, so shut up. I really wanted you and me to do something tonight!!! I’ll probably be home around midnight.



XXXXOOO



Lana



My jaw was clenched. I crumpled the paper up into a ball and threw it as hard as I could against the kitchen window. “Fucking SHIT!” I grabbed my cell out of its holster case. I flipped it open. It was off. I pressed the button to turn it on. Nothing. I pushed it again. Shit. I let the charge run out again. “Fucking shit.” I told myself to relax. I was a hair away from tossing the phone as hard as I had the paper. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I muttered, “Shit.” I turned to the chair and mumbled yet again, “Dammit.”



I moved to the cabinet and pulled out the bottle of Comfort. My gut tensed. I put it back then opened the fridge and grabbed a cold beer. I took a few gulps, set the can on the counter, then sat on my new chair to take my boots off. This time I whispered, “Fuckin’ shit.”



I took out the leftover taco meat from the fridge, constructed a burrito sans the refried beans and miked it. I ate, then took a shower. The whole time thinking about Lana, realizing again I was addicted to her or worse. I didn’t want to consider the ‘L’ word. As I soaped my stiff cock, for a few seconds I considered beating off, but really didn’t want to. I wanted to shoot in Lana’s mouth, or cunt, or ass, not onto the bathtub wall.



I then thought of the garage sale lady and I actually smiled. Maybe I should give her a call. I shook my head and chuckled. I turned off the water, dried off, and got dressed. I had done laundry yesterday evening. I put on my jogging shorts, got another beer and turned on the tube. During a commercial, when I was getting another beer, I brought the dining chair into the living room. For the next hour I watched it more then I did the TV. After about four beers, I dozed off, sometime before the ten o’clock news.



I felt something on my lips, my face. I flinched, then jerked my head to the side. I squinted.



Lana smiled. “Hi.”



I cleared my throat. “Hi.” I blinked a couple times.



“Have you been…” She bit her lower lip for a moment. “…sleeping?”



My gut tightened. I knew what she had been about to say. She could undoubtedly smell the beer on my breath and the empties were on the kitchen counter. “No. I haven’t slept a wink.” I felt a little buzz but I wasn’t drunk at all. I let the anger go. She looked very cute, very pretty, except for… “Lana? Would you mind taking that fucking chain off your face?” I saw anger flash in her eyes for a second, then it disappeared.



“Oh… all right.” She sat up and removed the ring and chain. “Happy now?” She leaned over my head to put the damn chain and ring on the end table. I wrapped my arms around her and started smearing my face over her small, pliant mounds.



“Ahhh! What are you doing?” She giggled.



“Mmmm… nice tits, baby.”



Don’t call them tits. They’re my boobs, my boobies.”



I kept nuzzling and stroking my face against them. I really liked them. Small but very firm. “You’re not wearing a bra.”



“So?” Her fingers stroked through my hair.



“Were there guys with you tonight?”



“Yeah, a couple. We met some people at the theater.” She felt my face stop moving. She exhaled sharply. “No guy rubbed his ugly face on my boobies if you’re wondering.”



I hated being jealous. I really hated it, but I couldn’t help it. I tried to let it go. I wanted to try and save the rest of the evening. I arched my neck back so I could see her face. “What about the girls? Did they rub their ugly faces on your tits?”



Lana giggled. “Yes. All of them! And don’t call them tits!”



“Your friends are twits not tits.” I chuckled.



“Shut up! You don’t even know them.” She tried to push away. I held her tighter.



“Jeezuz… relax.” I would have been more jealous if she had been wearing a tank top. She had a loose T on, but was wearing her black miniskirt. The shirt hem reached her hips. I told myself to get a grip again. “How was the movie?”



“It was kind of stupid. Romantic comedy that wasn’t romantic or funny. Why wasn’t your phone on again?”



“It was on, but the charge went dead.”



“Dope.”



“You know, you could have waited until I got home.”



Her eyes flashed with anger once more. “Remember? I did that, when we did have plans. Remember? I waited to almost 11PM for you to show up. You blew me off to drink. And then there was the time y…”



I didn’t want her to list all the times I had fucked up or disappointed her, or just got wasted, or screwed her a little too roughly. I cut in, “That time was a friend who had a prob…” I exhaled. Maybe I wouldn’t salvage the evening. “Okay. Yeah, I’m a jerk.”



“Yes, you are… sometimes.” She slowly smiled softly. “And sometimes you’re the opposite.”



For a moment I wondered what the exact opposite of a jerk was.



She turned her face to my purchase. “So what’s this chair doing in here? Did you just get it?”



“It a present for you.”



“A present for me?” Her brow pinched as she faced me again.



“Actually, maybe it’s more a present for me.”



Her eyes grew larger. “Did you get a dining table and chairs? Is it all in the garage?”



“No. It’s just that chair, and it’s… it’s not really a chair.”



She glanced at it again. “Not a chair, huh? What is it?”



“It’s a sex toy.”



Lana smiled. “A sex toy?” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “How does it work?” She softly laughed.



“Well, take my shorts off and then stand up and slowly take your clothes off and I’ll show you.”



“Is this one of your stupid jokes?”



I smiled and shook my head. “No. No joke.” I was already imagining her undressing and my cock in her.



“I think you’re just trying to get me to pull your shorts off and get me naked.”



“Well… if you don’t want to, then don’t. Of course, then you won’t know how the sex toy works.”



She bit her lower lip for a moment. I figured she was trying to think of some smart ass comment or maybe she didn’t want to play tonight. If it was the latter, I was going to be very disappointed. She finally let her lip slip out from under her teeth. She rolled her eyes and exhaled sharply.



“Okay.” She stood up and looked at my shorts. “Do you have a hard-on?”



I smiled. “I don’t know. See for yourself.” I raised my ass off the cushion. Her torso leaned forward and she yanked my shorts below my hips.



“How can you have a hard-on?!”



“I was stroking my face over your ti… boobies. Didn’t your girlfriends get wet when they did it earlier this evening?”



“Shut up.” She roughly pulled my shorts to my ankles then off. She tossed them towards the hallway. “I can’t believe you have a hard-on.”



“It’ll get harder when I watch you seductively strip for me.”



“I didn’t say I was going to do it like that.”



“Oh… okay.” I grabbed my cock and held it vertically. I began slowly stroking it. I smiled when she watched. I remembered the night she seduced me, licking her upper lip like an actress in some cheap porn flick. I closed my eyes. “Mmm… I’m thinking about your girlfriends rubbing their ugly faces on your boobies. God that’s hot.”



“Shut up.”



I looked at her. “Well, you undressing?”



She exhaled sharply. “Okay, but I’m not doing a silly strip show for you.”



“Oh… jeezuz.” I sat up still stroking my cock. “You’re no fun, but… okay. Take it off, baby.”



She slipped out of her sandals. “Do you have to watch?”



I chuckled. “Yeah.” It was something she said periodically, same for my simple response.



She shoved her tight, stretchy miniskirt down and before her long T shirt fell, I saw the left side of her cotton panties get pulled down to her hip by her skirt. I chuckled.



“Shut up.” She stepped out of the little skirt and tossed it on the recliner. She pulled her panties down from under the shirt so I didn’t get a glimpse of her pussy. It was fast but not a bad strip show. She tossed the panties to the chair but they fell short. I didn’t laugh. She waited a moment, then crossed her arms, grabbed the sides of her T and raised it up and over her head. She threw that to the chair.



“Okay, so… what about the chair?”



I was staring at her trimmed cunt. The delicate labs were closed. I looked up at her small, firm breasts. Her nipples were standing up but I had seen them stiffer. I finally met her eyes. “Are you wet?”



She bit her lower lip and giggled briefly. “Um… no.”



I sighed. “Are you horny?”



“I don’t know. Maybe.” She smiled.



I really wasn’t in the mood for much foreplay if any. I would have if she had been home earlier. “Come closer.”



I moved my ass to the front edge of the cushion and spread my thighs. Lana stepped between my knees. I held her waist, leaned forward and planted kisses on her breasts. She put her hands on my shoulders. I whispered, “Spread your legs a little more.”



When she complied, I slid my right hand down between her legs. My middle fingertip gently stroked the center of her slit. I felt her labs instantly blossom. Her inner lips were slippery. I pulled my head back. I looked at her eyes. “You’re wet.”



“Well… I’m not… um… that wet.” This time there was a little devilishness laced into her smile.



I slid my middle finger into her tight channel easily.



Lana closed her eyes. “Mmmh.”



“I’d say you’re wet, honey.” Her hips swayed a little as my finger curled and undulated within her.



Her eyes opened. “Well… you were playing with yourself. I liked watching that.” She giggled.



“You little pervert.”



“Me? You.”



I pulled my finger from her channel. “Sit on my lap and I’ll explain the chair.”



“You mean on your cock?”



I thought about it for a second. “No, my lap.” I shifted back on the cushion.



“Oh. Okay.”



I gawked at her ass as she turned, then sighed when she settled onto my thighs. For a few moments I forgot about the chair as my cock grew even stiffer with the new porn vid in my mind, my cock sinking into her tight, torrid, little asshole. She squirmed her bottom until my rod was wedged between her firm, fleshy buns. I had that ‘kid in a candy store’ sensation. My hands slid under her thighs to the backs of her knees. I raised her legs and opened them, setting her little feet on the outside of my knees. One hand went to her firm diminutive breasts as my other slid between her legs. I started playing with her taut nipples and her clit. Her bottom squirmed.



“Mmmhh.” She took a couple quick deep breaths. “Okay, so… the chair’s a sex toy? How does it work?”



I had forgotten all about the chair. I kissed her neck, then looked at my new purchase.



Jeezuz, her pussy was really getting wet. “Uh…” I kissed her neck again. She tilted her head to give me more to caress. I did, then stroked my face into her herbal hair. I felt her tremble and her ass squirmed yet again.



Her words were getting breathless, “So… so the chair?”



I kissed her shoulder, then gave the nape of her neck a little nip. “Lana? I need to be inside you, but I want you to screw me tonight. That’s what the chair’s for. Do you want to? Do you want to fuck me tonight?” I pushed my face through her soft, brunette hair. I felt her nod.



“Uh-huh.”



My mouth moved to her delicate ear. My voice was soft and low, “Say it, honey.” My thumb and index finger tugged and twisted her right nipple firmly but not harshly while my fingertip on her clit rubbed faster. “Say it dirty for me.”



“Oh… mmmh… yesss… I want to… to fuck you tonight. I… I want to fuck your cock with my… my cunt.”



I smiled. She wanted to be naughty tonight. She didn’t like me or herself saying ‘cunt.’



“You’re a naughty girl, aren’t you, baby?”



“S-Sometimes.”



“Let’s move to the chair.” I pulled my hands off her and she slid off my lap. She turned towards me as I stood.



Her eyebrows rose slightly. “Kiss me first.”



I took her in my arms and she pressed her little body against mine. As soon as our lips met, our mouths opened wide in a passionate, nearly animalistic, fencing match of our tongues. My hands slid down to her pouting ass. I gripped her smooth cheeks firmly. She responded as she always did by huffing air into my mouth. I squeezed harder and she moaned. We broke the kiss simultaneously, each of us gasping breaths.



“C’mon.” I took her hand we moved to the chair. I released her hand and sat down. “See the side rungs?”



“Uh-huh.”



I grabbed my rod at the base. “Put your feet on the rungs, and hold my shoulders then… come down on this.” My hand wagged my rigid cock.



Her eyes were on my prick as she moved closer. She started to separate her feet wider. “Um… how… um…”



I chuckled. I hadn’t taken into account how petite she was. “Come over to the side, hold my shoulder, step on the rung, then raise your leg over my thighs to get your foot on the other rung.”



“Oh… like a horse.”



I almost made some crack about my cock being a stallion but I didn’t want to break the mood. I wanted her feeling a little naughty. She mounted the chair. She was so petite, with her legs spread to the rungs, her sweet pink slit wasn’t very far from the tip of my cock.



“Wait… I have to turn my left foot outward.” Her hands pressed down on my shoulders harder as she moved her foot. “Okay… so I… I just lower down now?”



I was staring at her little pussy. “Just a little bit, just touch the tip.” I watched her slit descend a couple inches. The tip dipped between her soft, slippery, delicate petals. I murmured, “Jeezuz… Lana.”



“What?”



“Your… your pussy is… is gorgeous.” My hand directed the head to her pink pearl. I could feel it was firm. I circled around it, rubbed over it slowly, sensually. Lana shivered.



“Ohgod.”



“Do you like that?”



“Yes.”



I diddled my dick against her pearl with a little faster. She twitched.



I slid the tip down her slit again, zigzagging a little. I could almost imagine it was her labia moving, not my cock. I had wanted to have crazy animal sex with her earlier, now suddenly I thought I could watch my prick head stroking her buttery slit for the rest of the night. And it felt great. Lana started trembling.



“My… my legs are feeling weak, with… with you doing that.”



I didn’t look at her face, kept my eyes on her twat. “Too bad.”



“C’mon, you jerk. I… I thought I was going to… to fuck you with my… my…” She exhaled. “Fuck you with my… cunt.”



My libido switched gears again. I looked into her eyes. “Is that what you want, baby?”



“Yes.” Her breathing quickened.



I moved the head of my cock to her opening. “Maybe you should go sl…”



Lana slammed downward. “Oh!” The full length of my cock instantly disappeared into wet, extremely tight sheath. She started squirming like a crazy girl.



Jeezuz… Lana!”



“Mmmmhhh… mhhhh.”



I didn’t want her to stop what she was doing but I had to know if it worked on her the way he had on other chicks, including Barb. “This feels really good, but… I’d like it if you’d… raise up, use your legs, push up so just the head of my cock is inside you, then slide down again… slowly. Okay?” She felt so wet, I wondered if that would lessen the effect.



She was breathing hard. Her hips slowed. “Okay… I wanna do that too.” Her hands gripped my shoulders tighter. She used her legs to push up.



I closed my eyes and actually moaned. “Urrrrhhhhh.” Her always tight cunt was like a squeezing tube around my entire length and girth. “Urrh jeezuz.”



“You… you seem bigger than big now.”



I almost laughed again. “You’re squeezing me. It feels fantastic.” I looked at her face as her pussy creeped up my cock. Her eyes finally met mine. She had a blank expression for a moment, then she started grinning.



“The chair… my legs… it’s… it makes me squeeze you.”



I grinned. “Yeah.”



You’re the naughty one, not me.” She stopped when only the top third of my cock was in her vaginal clutches. Her jaw clenched, then her eyes closed, her hips swayed a fraction side to side.



I closed my eyes too. “Oh, mannnnn.” She was really squeezing it. I looked at Lana. Her eyes were open and intense.



“It almost feels like… like I cold yank it off.” She giggled.



I made my eyes go wide. “Well, don’t do that. I wouldn’t like that at all.” I chuckled.



She looked down and rose up a fraction, so just the head was lodged inside her wet warmth. She kept watching as she slowly lowered a couple inches, then rose again, down and up, only the top two inches. Down then up. “Mmmm… I am squeezing you.”



“Yeah.”



She looked at me, while she kept moving slowly up and down only those two inches. She stopped at the top for a moment, then slowly slid down all the way to my pubic bush. I automatically pushed up and squirmed.



She kept her eyes locked with mine. “Can I ask you something?”



I held her waist. “Yeah, what?” I nudged her when she stopped squirming. She started swaying again.



“I think sometimes we… we make… um… love, and sometimes we… like you said last week we make lust together, most times we mix those two, and… and I think sometimes when we’re doing it, we… we then add fun to it.” A nervous expression covered her face. “Do… do you ever feel that? I mean, the fun part? Sort of like just a minute ago?”



My brow pinched. “Yeah, of course I do. Why? Don’t… don’t you like that?”

“Yeah, I… I like it a lot. I… I just never… I don’t know, I mean, I just never thought that… that would be part of it. Is it… has it always been part of it for you?”



I realized this beautiful petite girl had me on an emotional roller since I stopped at that damn garage sale. From smiling to pissed off to lustful and now I was feeling… well, jeezuz her eyes, that look in them, my damn heart started swelling. I spoke softly, “No, sweetheart, not with every… not with every girl. It’s… it’s…” I took a slow breath.



“What?”



“It’s a… a special part of making love, I guess. It means…” I stopped speaking. I certainly wasn’t going to tell her the truth.



“It means what?”



I pulled her close and pushed my face into her hair. “It means there’s a lot more going on than… than just two bodies screwing.” I kissed the side of her head and hoped that would suffice. I felt her nod against me. I hoped she didn’t start crying. I ran my hands up and down her back, sometimes one would trace the curves of her seductive ass. She swayed but not much at all. We stayed like that for at least two minutes before she leaned back. She smiled softly. Her eyes were teary but not sad. Her face moved forward and she kissed my lips, her tongue wiggled into my mouth. She knew I preferred it the other way round, my tongue in her mouth. I tried to push hers back. She started giggling. She started squirming harder. My hand slid between her buns, two fingertips caressed her torrid, squinting hole. Her tongue retreated and mine chased it into her mouth. I wiggled the tip of my middle finger into her ass, just to the very first knuckle.



“Mmmmmh,” Lana moaned into my mouth.



Her ass started rising, her cunt tightened around the base of my cock and kept gripping as it slid up the staff. Our kiss broke. Her pussy reached the head of my prick, then she shoved down hard, grinded, then rose again. She kept that up as a fraction more of my finger screwed into her hot bottom. I scrunched down a little more in the chair. My other hand left her waist. I turned it around and placed my palm on her lower abdomen so I could use my thumb on her turgid clit.



“No… no… my waist… on my waist… I’m close… close.”



Instead of moving it to her waist, I reached around and gripped a cheek of her ass. Her up and down and squirming grew more intense. Without giving it much thought I released her bun, raised my hand away and brought it down sharply– smat!



“Oh! Yeah… yeah.”



I gave her three more taps — smat… smat… SMAT! She got even more crazy. I was on the brink. I moved my hand back to her abdomen. My thumb couldn’t have rubbed her clit more then four times, when she shoved down hard and started convulsing on my lap. Her fingernails dug into my shoulder muscles. I moved my hand to her ass.



She screamed, “Oh god! Oh GOD!” She arched her back and leaned forward. I think she was rubbing her firm, big clit on my pubic bone.



I wasn’t paying attention to that though, I was concentrating on the magic her tight cunt was doing around my throbbing cock. “Lana… ah, jeezuz… ah… ah fu-UUUK!” I yanked my finger out of her butt and both my hands gripped her luscious buns. It was now me holding on for dear life as I strained upward with my cock and pumped gob after gob of hot spunk deep into her perfect pussy.



I wanted to stay inside Lana forever.


* * *She didn’t look happy but to be honest, I didn’t really give a shit. She stood at the rear of the tub staring at me. I finished washing my legs and feet, then turned around to rinse off. I faced her again. “So? You just gonna stand there, or are you going to get on your knees and start sucking?”



She looked me in the eyes. I’m not sure but hers may have been tearing a little. She knelt down and wrapped her little hand around the base of my prick. She engulfed the head, her tongue laving it, then she started bobbing.



I gripped a handful of her now damp hair. I started pushing and pulling my cock into her sucking mouth. My voice was a growl, “That’s it, baby, fuck it with your mouth.”



She really was a great little cocksucker. I tried to decide if I would fuck her mouth a little harder and deeper, then make her swallow it, or fuck her mouth harder and deeper, not shoot, then take her to the bed and fuck her good and hard.



My other hand gripped some hair. I pulled her head towards me as I pushed forward with my throbbing prick. “Yeah, that’s it, fuck it with your mouth.” I heard her gag a little. I really didn’t give a shit.


* * *”No, honey, it’ll be a guard, but… really, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about it. I mean… you’re not a prisoner. They know you could make a complaint on them.”



I’m sure she knew that would cause her hell if I did complain. I imagined some rough, gay fuckin’ guard would point that out to me too. “Yeah… ahhh… sure… I mean, it’s no problem.” My mind was reeling and I was so nervous about all of it, including Lana, I didn’t even wonder about Barb getting cavity searches, and if there were lesbian guards doing the fingering so I didn’t think about her saying — You’re not a prisoner, and the implications of that regarding her. “So… ahh… next Sunday.”



“Uh-huh. That’s… all right with you, isn’t it?” Barb looked scared again. “You… you still really… do want to make love with me, don’t you?”



I took a breath. “Yeah, of cour…” I forced a small smile to my mouth. “Yes, I want to make love with you next Sunday. I want to make love with you… every day.” I can’t describe what my gut felt like at that moment, even though I guess it was the truth. I guess I would want to make love to her everyday. I’d also want to make love with Lana everyday. I forced my smile to grow.



She started to smile as her face scrinched and more tears ran down her face. She giggled and softly sobbed simultaneously. Her voice was strained. “I love you so much.” She giggled-sobbed again, then added, “You’re so cute sometimes.”



I felt the fucking complications of my life double. I felt the weight of my guilt and self-hatred skyrocket. My mind was in overdrive, thinking about Lana, Barb, how I had fucked up everything so badly, how weak, stupid, and foolish I was. I don’t know how, but my small smile stayed in place and I said, “And you’re beautiful all the time.” As soon as that passed my lips, it was the lowest I had ever felt in my entire life.



“I guess we should tell Lana now. She’ll…” Barb smiled and wiped her eyes with the napkin. “She’ll probably be happy she won’t have to come next week. She can have a Sunday with her friends.”



“Yeah… yeah, I guess we should… ahh… tell her.”



Barb squeezed my hand as she looked towards the vending machines. I didn’t want to think about Lana’s reaction to the news. I watched Barb smile, really more of a grin, as she waved to her daughter. Again I found it difficult to breathe for a few moments. My gut couldn’t have been more knotted. Barb pulled her hand from mine so she could blow her nose. Before Lana reached the table, her hand was clutching mine again.



Lana sat down. She put three candy bars in the center of the table.



Barb did the talking. She told Lana she had been granted the privilege of having some “private time” with me next Sunday, so even though she really wanted to see Lana too, it wouldn’t be much fun for her waiting around for over an hour all by herself. Barb told her she should make some plans with friends, then said she’d miss her very much, and hoped with all her heart she’d keep coming every week after that. She said she’d not be able to have private time with me all that often, months in between. Barb said that only bad thing about it, would be not seeing her.



At first Lana’s brow pinched, then her face went slack when she understood what “private time” meant. Her jaw clenched for a moment, then she just said, “Okay.” She sipped her soda as she looked at the barred high windows in the cafeteria/visiting room. She didn’t say much for the remaining twenty minutes of the visitation. No one ate the candy bars.



I tried my best to fill in the conversational gaps even though my mind was still reeling and my gut so tight it actually ached. I didn’t want Barb to notice the change in Lana. I felt like a bigger and bigger shithead as the minutes passed. When it was finally time to leave, I was glad to see that when Lana hugged Barb, she at least put her arms loosely around her mother, but not like the squeezing hugs over the past few months.



When I kissed and hugged Barb, she whispered, “I’m really looking forward to next weekend, sweetie.”



She hadn’t called me ‘sweetie’ in a very long time. “Yeah… yeah, me too, Barb.”



Lana and I were both mute as we headed out of the prison. In the parking lot I unlocked and opened her door first, then closed it for her when she climbed in. I walked around the truck. She didn’t lean over to open my door as she had started to do a few months ago. I unlocked it and got in. Her arms were folded over her chest, her jaw was tight. She was blankly staring out the windshield.



“So… you’re going to FUCK her next week! You knew about it! Why didn’t you tell me?!”



“I didn’t know about it.”



“That’s a lie! You knew! You’d have to know!”



“I didn’t know!” I told myself to cool down. “Barb… Barb never mentioned it and… I never asked.



“No, you didn’t ask because…. because you were getting your fun with me! You… you were using me! You… you don’t care about me at all! And… and now you’re going to be back fucking HER!”



“I do care about you. You have to know I care about you. Jeezuz, Lana, I-I told you I wasn’t going to leave Barb, what… what the hell can I do about the visits, these conjugal visits? She wants them. I am her husband. I told you that. I told you I wasn’t going to divorce her. You knew th…”



She interrupted, “Yeah, but… but you didn’t tell me you’d be fucking her! You didn’t mention that very often when… when you were fucking… FUCKING ME! I never would have let you fuck me if I knew you were going to go back to fucking HER!”



My jaw clenched. She seemed to have forgotten it had been her making the first move, her teasing me, her propositioning me like a cheap whore, so she could fuck me. I told myself again to keep my head. “Lana…” I wasn’t sure what to say. I took a slow breath and kept my voice soft, “I care about you. I don’t want to hurt you, but I did tell you that I wasn’t going to divorce Barb. I didn’t know about this conjugal visit thing until today, until after Barb asked to talk to me alone. That’s the truth.” I looked at her. Her arms seemed tighter across her chest. She was staring out the side window.



“Maybe… maybe I should fuck someone else too next Sunday. How would you like that, huh?!”



I was surprised that hadn’t crossed my mind. “I… I wouldn’t like it.”



“Well… I don’t like you fucking her! So…. So tell her you can’t do it!”



I exhaled slowly. My voice was soft and low, “Lana… I can’t do that. You know I can’t.”



“Then… then-then you’re never going to fuck me again! I-I-I’m not ever going to let you touch me again! Never!”



“Lana… come on. Let’s… let’s not… not get pissed at each other. I… I don’t want this to hurt you, and I…”




“I’m not hurt! I’m not hurt at all! And… and there isn’t anything to talk about. You’re going to fuck her. So… so SHUT UP and-and-and leave me alone! I-I don’t wanna talk to you anymore!”



I leaned towards her and cupped her upper arm. “Lana, listen…”



She jerked her arm away from my grasp and verbally cut me off, “I don’t wanna listen! I jus’… Just take me home! I wanna go HOME!”



I sat straight and gazed at the prison as I started the engine. I guess I knew everything was going blow up in my face all along. I guess I just didn’t expect it to be so soon. I twisted to look out the rear window as I slowly pulled out of the parking slot.


*My anxiety was growing with every heartbeat. “Barb? Are you nervous?”



She held me tighter and snuggled her body against mine. “I don’t know, maybe a little. Should we… should we take our clothes off?”



I forced a chuckle out. “Yeah, I guess that’d be a good start.” We released each other. She wanted to get the show on the road, incredibly my anxiety grew even more intense.



I think she was blushing. “Don’t laugh at my underwear.”



I smiled, still in an anxiety mode. “If you don’t laugh at mine.” I watched her start on her zipper. “Wait. Let me do that.”



Barb definitely blushed. “All right.”



I unzipped the front of her jumpsuit, then nudged it off her shoulders. She was right, her bra looked institutional. I was surprised a bra could be that unappealing. Same with her “full cut” granny underpants. I told her to sit on the edge of the bed and I took off her shoes, socks, then pulled the jumpsuit down and off. She removed her bra, then I slowly pulled the panties down her still slender and toned legs. Barb giggled like a nervous school girl. I smiled looking calm but I was a thousand times more nervous than her. I put her clothes on one of the molded plastic chairs.



“Okay, now I’ll undress you.”



I watched Barb as she reciprocated. She was gorgeous, stunning really, considering everything. Her breasts were slightly smaller than before, but still looked very firm, not large, but much larger than Lana’s. She looked years younger than the day she was incarcerated. She was thinner, more toned now. No one would guess she was thirty-four, no one would say older than twenty-five. Her giggly mood started to wane when she was kneeling on the floor and I was sitting on the edge of the mattress. She saw I didn’t have an erection.



“Okay, now these.” She pulled the waistband and I raised my ass from the sheet. Her waning smile disappeared as she pulled my shorts passed my feet. She rose, turned her back to me, stepped to the chair, and for some reason slowly folded my briefs and set them on top of my other clothes on the chair next to the one with her clothes.



By the time I stood up, moved behind her and wrapped my arms around her, she was crying softly. I kissed her neck and shoulder then her head. I held her tightly to me. My limp dick pressed against her right bun.



“Y-You don’t… think I’m… a-attractive… anymore.”



“Barb, that’s not true.” I felt her tremble as she tried to cry silently. “Barb, stop that. You’re beautiful, hot… sexy. Prettier than the night I first saw you.”



“Then… why… w-why… why aren’t you excited?”



I could easily tell her all the reasons why, the least of which was being locked up in a jiz smeared concrete room within a prison. “Let’s lie on the bed, okay?”



She sniffled. “Do you have any… tissues?”



“Yeah, I’ve got something. Go ahead and lie down.” I glanced at the roll of cheap toilet paper next to the metal toilet as I picked up my jeans and got the handkerchief from the back pocket. It was clean and large. I made sure I had two clean, large ones on every visitation day, even though most of the time Barb used napkins. When I turned around I was somewhat surprised Barb had crawled under the top sheet. I handed her the handkerchief and slid under the sheet. She held onto it when I moved closer and put my arm around her shoulders. She put her head on my shoulder.



I sense her about to start crying. I wasn’t wrong.



“Is… is there some other woman?”



No. There’s no other woman, there’s… just you, Barbara.” I rarely called her by her full name. I usually saved that for when I was trying to be romantic. “I love you. I… I think you know I love you. Jeezuz… I’m here every week. I only missed once in the past year and that was to go to Lana’s graduation. You’re my wife. I love you.” I was trying my best to believe everything I said was actually true. At that moment, I wished it all was true.



There was a couple minutes of silence. I was about to tell her I was going to lick her to orgasm when she spoke. I knew she was on the verge of crying yet again.



“Aren’t you attracted to me anymore? I… Don’t you like the way I loo…”



I broke in, “I just said a few minutes ago that you’re beautiful.” I took a slow breath. “Barb, I’m so damn sorry and embarrassed. But… come on, cut me a little slack. It’s… it’s been a year. I’m sober. There’s a time clock running on this. I’m nervous as hell about it, about it being good for you, for… both of us. It’s like… like it’s my first time all over again. Aren’t you nervous?”



“I… I was nervous about… about you being nervous and about… about you not liking me… that way… anymore.”



I hugged her to me. “Jeezuz, Barb. You were beautiful and hot before, and you still are. Of course I like you… want you that way. God… you’ve lost weight and toned up more, hell… you look healthier than ever, and younger… jeezuz, you look like a teenager.” My gut knotted. She didn’t quite look like a teenager, but as I thought when she first was naked, no one would have guessed older than twenty-five. For some reason I vividly recalled the small framed photo of her in Lana’s linen closet. Barb, Lana, and Gramma.



Barb started crying again. Her voice was high pitched and whiny, just like Lana when she cried, “I… I wanted this to be… be special, because… I waited, because… because I thought you might… that you’d find someone else, and… an’ I… I didn’t want to… to stop you because… because it’s… it’s so l-long t-to wait for m-me. But… but I don’t wanna l-lose you either. I wan’… w-wan’ you stay with m-me… stay for me… me and Lana. I don’… don’t know wha’… wha’ I’d do w-without y-you. B-but I… don’ wanna m-make your l-life… aw-awf-ful either. Y-you’re… it’s… l-like… I’m putting y-you in p-prison t-too. I’m… s-s-so s-sorry. I’m s-so sorry.” Barb began crying harder, then some sobbing.



I held her closer. When she settled down some, I spoke softly, “Barb we went over all that last Sunday. I love you, there is no other woman, I don’t… I’m doing this… I mean, I come here every week because I love you, because you’re my wife, because I can’t wait for you to be released. But, this today… I… I-I just feel really pressured. I’m the one who should be sorry. I am sorry. This… my lack of an erection, has nothing to do with you, how you look, or how much I love you and know you love me. I… I feel like a goddamn failure most of the time and now I can’t even get a goddamn hard-on with the woman I love. I’m sorry. I’m very sorry, sweetheart.”



I felt like scum, no, lower than that. I was lying to her constantly now, yet, I did love her, I knew I loved her. Maybe my love had never been good enough or strong enough. Maybe it had always been missing some essential element and I’ve never been able to figure out what that element is. How could I love Barb, and be fucking her daughter at the same time? How could I love Lana, yet still love Barb? I knew if I wasn’t so goddamn nervous, no, not nervous. I know if I wasn’t feeling so fucking guilty and anxious about cheating on Barb, and fucking up Lana’s life, and cheating on Lana now too, I wouldn’t have any problem, even being sober and locked up in a cinder block room, getting a goddamn erection right now.



Why the hell do either of these chicks want to have anything to do with me?! What the fuck do they see in me? I’m nothing but selfish prick, a drunk, a self-centered asshole. If Barb had met some other guy instead of me, I bet she could have kicked the booze, could have gotten sober. Whenever we’ve quit together, I was always the one pulling her down again– C’mon, just one drink, baby. I don’ wanna drink alone, jus’ a li’l one– either that or coming home pissed off and wasted, then Barb saying hell with it too. She would never have killed that kid if she hadn’t met me. She’d never have been in this prison. She never would have been in this goddamn ‘fucking room.’ All of this shit was my fault. ALL OF IT!



I held Barb closer. She was still crying a little, and sniffling a lot. “I’ve got another handkerchief in my jeans. Want it?”



“Yes, please. And… an’ then… will you just keep holding me?”



That’s what I did. I was going to say I wanted to lick her pussy, but I knew that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted me hard, she wanted to make love or at least screw a guy with a full, hard, erection. That was the only thing on her list. Holding her was all I was capable of doing in that small, awful room.



Near the end of our 50 minute conjugal period, before the timer went off, we got dressed. I helped Barb strip the bed. We even folded the sheets. Before I could help her with spraying the cleaner/disinfectant and wiping everything down, two guards opened the door. The female bitch watched Barb clean, and the same fuckin’ prick who had escorted me in, walked me down the hall. Another guard escorted me back to the main building. I went through another check-in and waited for Barb in the cafeteria.



When Barb finally arrived, we had a little over a half hour left to visitation. I think Barb interpreted my quietness and not meeting her eyes very often as embarrassment, not guilt, remorse, and feeling worse than scum. Whenever I did look into her pretty blue eyes I saw both love and something like fear in them. I didn’t look into them very long. I knew if I did, I’d either spill my guts about me and Lana, or just start bawling like a fuckin’ little kid.



About every five minutes when the conversation would dry up I’d say, “Barb, I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.”



She’d say something like, “Honey, don’t worry about it. I… I know you… we both were under a lot of pressure.” She had taken my invented excuse as fact and adopted it too.



She didn’t know that most if not all of my repeated apology was for fucking her daughter, shitting on my marriage vows, cheating on her, and not because I couldn’t get it up. I was scared to death I’d not be able to get hard for the next conjugal visit.



“Barb, I’ll… I’ll do better next time. When will that be? You said the wait is a couple months?”



“Uh-huh. Two to three months.”



“Will you put us on the list?”



She smiled sadly and nodded. “Uh-huh.”



I looked into her eyes a little too long. I started to lose it. Mine welled up and my throat tightened. My voice cracked as I said, “Barbara, I… I love you. I really d-do. You truly are beautiful and a g-good woman. I’m glad you’re m-my wife. I’m so damn lucky that… that you married me. I love you, sweetheart. Please believe that. And… and I’m so damn sorry about the room today.” Among all the other crap I was feeling, I added ‘wimp’ to the list.



She smiled with trembling lips as her face scrinched and her eyes welled even more than mine, so much so that tears ran down each cheek of her pretty face.



I put my arm around her shoulders and kissed her head.



Her voice was squeaky, “I… I love you so much.”



When the visitation period was over, I warmly kissed Barb and hugged her close. She held me very tightly. Before I had a chance to say my normal line at the end, she said a variation of it to me, “Don’t worry, honey, I really have a feeling everything’s going to get better for you, me, Lana, all of us very soon. I really feel that.”



Of course, I couldn’t see how that was possible. I gave her head a quick kiss. “I think so too, sweetheart.”



“Tell Lana I love her, and that I missed her very much today.”



My guilt expanded again. “Yeah. Yeah, I will.”



“I better go now.”



“Yeah, okay. I’ll see ya next week, Barbara.”



I pulled my arms from around her and smiled. She was teary eyed again but put a brave smile on her face. She started towards the door where she’d be searched, halfway there she turned her head around and saw me watching her. It made her smile, a real smile. She gave me a cupped hand little wave, which was very cute and reminded me of the few times Lana had done the same thing. She turned and I watched her until she disappear into the other room.



I wanted to run after her, grab her and kiss her passionately, tell her again I really did love her, tell her I’d be the best damn husband ever, tell her I’d never even look at another woman again. I really wanted all of that to be true, wanted it with all my heart and soul. I also hoped with all my heart that Lana wouldn’t have anything to do with me again. And if she wanted to start it again. I’d refuse. I loved Barb. I wanted to be a good husband to her. I wanted to be with my wife, with Barbara.



I stood there staring at the now closed steel door. I was on the verge crying again. I was the last free person to leave the cafeteria.



As I started driving home, I couldn’t have felt like a bigger fucking asshole or a worse excuse for a man, nor could I have hated and despised myself more. As I drove through the now beige and brown harvested cornfields, I wondered how two pretty women, well, at least one woman and one teenage girl, how in hell could they both love me? I was a cheating husband to one, and a cheating boyfriend to the other. I was a drunk, and a mean son-of-a-bitch sometimes. I was a guy who was always a few words away from losing his goddamn job. Not only could I not keep my marriage vows, I couldn’t even get my ass to work on time consistently, no matter how many times I promised Jim I would.



Did I truly love Barb? My eyes welled up so much at posing that question to myself again, I had to wipe them to see. Yeah, most of the time I did think I loved her. Then again, did I even know what the hell love was? If I really loved her would I have fucked her daughter? If I really loved her wouldn’t I have been able to quit drinking? Before I met her, for years before I met her, I really thought when I found the right chick, really loved her, got married, I would be able to quit. What the hell happened to that? Yes, I loved her. I loved her as much as an asshole like me could love someone. What the hell did that mean though?



I loved her but it was all right to cheat on her? I loved her but it was all right to lie to her every time I saw her? Not only lie but put on the whole charade, the street theater of me and Lana just being friends now? That we were just getting along better now, nothing more than that? Barb wasn’t stupid, sooner or later she was going to see there was something more there. I was trying to save more money to help Lana go away to college, but the bills were still eating up most of my paycheck, a good chunk of that was still paying the goddamn lawyer and the fucking community college bills.



Was I hoping that was the answer to all this shit I had gotten myself into? That Lana would go away to school and find some other guy? Did I love her too? Did she dump me this past week but neglected to actually say the words to me? She did say she didn’t want to fuck me, but was that just in anger? Why did I feel even more like I was cheating when I was with Barb in the fuck room today, than when I was with Lana screwing her at home? How ass backwards was that?



What the hell did I feel for Lana? How could I love two women at the same time? How is that even possible? It had always been nearly impossible to find one to love, in fact, until Barb, I probably never loved any chick, at least not until they dumped me, then I loved them or thought I did. They’d finally get fed up with my drinking, with me being an asshole, then when it was too late, I’d vow to clean up my act and would beg them to give me another chance. It had always been too late then.



I had always thought that it was bullshit stereotyping that chicks would constantly change their minds. Maybe they took longer to make up their minds about something, but once they did, that decision was set in concrete. It was guys who changed their minds more. Or, maybe it was just me who couldn’t stick to any decision, not even my marriage vows.



The only thing I knew for sure was that I needed a drink, more than one drink.



I kept mulling it over, spinning my mental wheels as the miles slipped by under the truck. Finally I slowed to angle onto the exit ramp that led to home or to Sully’s. At the end of the ramp I stopped for the red traffic light. When it switched to green I turned right not left. I guess the ramp led to Sully’s. Five minutes later I pulled into the parking lot, got out of truck and went inside.



There was some football game on the big TV, most everyone was at the tables watching it. The bar was nearly empty, just a couple of real drunks, like me. Greg wasn’t working. I couldn’t recall the name of the guy who was. I said hello and ordered a draft, finished that off pretty quickly, then order another. Took a sip, said hell with it to myself, and called the guy over again and ordered a double bourbon rocks. I figured I’d drink both slowly. It was my usual lie to myself. I surprised myself though, I actually started out drinking that bourbon pretty slow, little sips.



I thought about the situation again. I guess it was less the situation and more about Barb and Lana. Actually it was probably both. Even though it wasn’t the same, I had a similar sensation inside me like all the times before Barb was in the slam, when both Barb and Lana were pissed off at me. I had hurt both of them this week. Why couldn’t I make anyone happy? Yet, why did they both say they loved me? Well, Lana hadn’t actually said it, but I thought she felt it. She would have said it if I had let her.



Why did they love me? Were they both just scared of being alone? Don’t they realize, even Barb when she gets out and if she can stay sober, that both her and Lana can get almost any guy they wanted, a guy not like me, not a drunk, not a self-centered prick?



And how in hell can I feel and believe I love them both, yet I’m cheating on Barb and if I can get it up, I’ll soon be cheating on Lana. How can I love them both? Is it that I don’t know what the hell love really is? What the hell is love anyway? Does anyone really know what it is? You love a person if you’d give up your life for them? Soldiers do that for guys they don’t even know. Would I give up my life for Barb? For Lana? I shook my head. It was a silly assed question. Okay, yeah… if I saw a bus coming at either one of them, I’d push them out of the way knowing I’d get smacked and killed. But… was that because I loved them, or because I knew if I didn’t, I’d never be able to live with the guilt of not doing it?



For a moment I wondered if anyone else ever had thoughts like I was having.



An image of Lana appeared in my mind. I wondered if it was over with her. She was really angry about me seeing Barb today. I wondered if I should tell her I didn’t screw Barb, then she’d probably ask why, and what would I tell her? The truth? That I couldn’t get it up mainly because I felt guilty about fucking her, fucking Lana? That I was feeling guilty about every goddamn thing? What if Lana comes back to me, and then in a couple months or whenever Barb can get another conjugal visit, will Lana and I go through this whole fucking thing again? What if we go through it all a second time, and I still can’t get it up with Barb? What the hell was the title of that play by Sartre? No Exit? Was that it? Our lives would become a repetitive hell?



I had to figure out what to say and do. I kept thinking and mulling and ordering double bourbons. Barb and Lana. Lana and Barb. I loved both of them as well as I could love. Was that the real truth? Was it also true that Lana had dumped me? That it was over between us because I had gone to fuck my wife and even if I couldn’t get it up it was still over between Lana and me? Was I spinning mental wheels for no reason? Maybe she had made my decision about what to do plain and simple, because her decision was already set in concrete.

But, I didn’t want it to end with Lana, did I? She hadn’t really dumped me, had she? Saying she would never let me touch her again was just anger speaking, wasn’t it? But, didn’t I more or less promise myself as I drove away from the prison, that I was going to cut it off with Lana no matter what and really become a good husband, maybe even a good man? What if I actually loved Lana more than Barb? What if Lana and I are the ‘true love’ in all of this?



I suddenly felt I had to pick one of them, then a moment later asked myself why I had to do that. I couldn’t give myself a good answer. Maybe the first thing to do was to find out if Lana had really dumped me. Maybe I should have gone straight home and asked her that before stopping here. Yeah, that would have been the smart thing to do, but I probably would have needed a bit of liquid courage to do that anyway.



I looked at the old fashion electric bar clock on the bottle shelf behind the bar. It had a red neon tube around its circumference. I couldn’t believe it was 9:20PM. I had been sitting at the fuckin’ bar for hours. I figured it was time to face the fuckin’ music. I finished off the remnants of my beer, then the last drops of my fourth or was it my fifth, bourbon rocks. I glanced at bartender as I placed a few bucks on the bar but he didn’t see me. I put my empty glass on the bills. I took a slow deep breath then slid off the stool. I felt dizzy for a moment. I wasn’t looking forward to facing Lana. I walked outside and got into the truck.



Thoughts of Barb, how much I loved her, how I was her husband and had made vows to her the day we married, all of those thoughts were waning. Lana started filling my mind more and more. I had gotten angry when she had gotten mad about me going to Barb today. What did she expect would happen if conjugal visits were possible? Should I have mentioned the possibility to her? Hell, it shocked me almost as much as it had her when Barb mentioned it last week. Maybe Lana hadn’t known it was possible? Hell, I wasn’t even sure it was possible.



I wanted to be with Lana. I didn’t want to give that up, give her up. I wanted us to continue making love, and continue fucking too. I wanted us to go back to sleeping together. I wasn’t able to sleep much without her this past week. I did feel I loved her. And I felt I loved Barb too. But… how can you love two women at the same time? If that isn’t impossible, it should be. Am I lying to one of them? If I am, which one is it? Or am I really lying to myself? Today, Barb crying, me holding her, I truly loved her. I knew I loved her because I felt so awful, so fuckin’ guilty. I couldn’t have hated myself more while I held her. My life had been a chain of fuckups. Fuckups that not only screwed me, but hurt people who I supposedly cared about, who I supposedly loved.



I did love Lana. I did want to be with her. What the hell was I going to do with Barb in prison for at least a couple more years? Was it really that bad to want to sleep with and screw Lana, even if she was Barb’s daughter? Had Lana dumped me? Are things going to be like they were before that night she hooked me, like the way things have been this past week? I didn’t want it to be like that.



I hurt Barb today because I couldn’t get it up, but next time I would. Jeezuz, I must have been really fuckin’ mental today, she looked incredibly hot. What was wrong with loving two women? What was wrong with screwing two women if you loved them both? Why was everything always my responsibility? What was wrong with fucking both of them if they both wanted to fuck me? Did Lana still want to screw me? Want to sleep with me? I wanted her. I wanted her a lot.



I came to a stoplight at the grocery store strip mall. Without much thought, I made the right turn into the lot and parked. I would buy Lana some flowers not just as a peace offering, but because I love her, and then I’d try to talk to her, even if I had to sit on the floor in the hallway and talk to her through the door like that other time. I needed her. I wanted her back. I wanted her with me, in my bed, in my arms. Maybe I really did love her, maybe I really loved both of them. Maybe it really was possible to truly love two women at the same time and have no one get hurt.



I walked into the store and then into its little flower shop. There wasn’t much of a selection late on a Sunday night. I decided to get a bunch of miniature roses for her because they looked the freshest. I liked the miniature aspect, but not the flowers. I paid for them and quickly walked outside to the truck. I really hated roses, they smelled like all the fuckin’ wakes my parents dragged me to as a kid. Since then roses have always smelled like fuckin’ death to me. What is that called? A memento mori? Can an odor be that?



I got in the truck and continued driving to the house, never breaching the speed limit and glancing side to side ahead looking for fuckin’ drunk motherfucking sixteen year old shitheads riding bikes. As I turned into the driveway, I saw an unknown car almost too late. I had to brake hard or I would have rammed the back of it. It was black, one of those sporty looking, newer, cheap, compact cars that supposedly got good mileage. It was undoubtedly one of Lana’s stupid girlfriends. Maybe Lana was breaking her promise and spilling the whole fucking story to her. I pulled back then over to the side of it, parking half on the grass so the stupid bitch could drive out later.



I headed to the front door, holding the flowers, trying to decide if giving them to Lana in front of a friend or two would be really stupid. I had hurt her. I didn’t want her pissed at me. I had hurt Barb too. I had to talk to Lana about everything again. I’d figure everything out when we talked. Just like that other time. I did love her. I really did.



I shook my head as I reached for the handle of the front door. I couldn’t believe I failed to get it up with Barb. She actually looked the best she ever had. She had lost weight, toned up, her face had even looked younger, at least it had until she had started crying. She had virtually looked like that eighteen year old girl in the photo in Lana’s linen closet. Both Barb and Lana were beautiful. As I pushed the door open, I found myself thinking there must be a ‘younger looking’ gene, because both Barb and Lana had it.



I stepped inside the little foyer and quietly closed the entry door behind me. I was surprised I didn’t hear music or the TV on. I thought that was odd as I took my jacket off and hung it on knob of the entry closet door. For some reason, I just stood there and listened. I did hear something. Noises. Human noises.



I moved to the hallway and looked towards Lana’s room. That’s where the sounds were coming from. I could see some soft light spilling into the darkened hall from her open doorway. My jaw was already clenched as my gut did likewise. Yeah, human sounds but it wasn’t talking. My hand tightened around the stems of the roses, my other balled into a fist.



I quietly walked down the hall. I stepped to her open door and looked inside her room. I saw them on the bed. A dark haired guy was on top of Lana, more like over Lana, her hands were holding the back of his neck. I saw the glint of a couple face piercings on him. The guy was taller than me, thin but obviously somewhat muscular and in shape. He was almost in a pushup exercise position over her, not exercising, but thrusting his fucking prick into her cunt. Lana’s thighs were spread, her legs partly folded so her knees were up and the soles of her little feet were flat on the sheet. Her hips pushed up to meet each of the motherfucker’s thrusts.



I didn’t get angry, it was something beyond that. Something primeval snapped within me and I wanted to beat him bloody, beat him to death, kill the filthy son-of-a-bitch who was fucking MY WOMAN. My hand released the roses and they fell to the hallway floor. I rushed headlong into the room going straight for the son-of-a-bitch on the bed. I guess he saw me enter, because he yanked his fuckin’ dick out of Lana’s cunt and looked me in the eyes, his own were probably larger than normal. His mouth was open, maybe to breathe faster and deeper, breathless from fucking the little bitch on the bed.



Lana started screaming something at me as my right fist hit him in the mouth. I cut my knuckles and got pissed at myself for forgetting not to punch teeth. Even in my enraged state, I knew I should be tossing my fists at the motherfucker’s nose, jaw, eyes, and especially the throat. I threw two more punches as he rolled trying to protect himself, and get up at least to his knees. One connected with his cheekbone, the next hit his shoulder when he turned. I tried to grab his long hair but he quickly jerked his head back. He was able to get into a crouch.



Lana shouted, “Get out! Leave us alone! GET OUT!” She pulled her legs up and moved towards the headboard. “GET OUT OF HERE!”



I had to lean over the bed as I tried to grab the fucker’s throat with my left hand while my right arm cocked back to throw another punch. I gripped his neck. He used both his arms to bat and push my arm with the hand choking him away. I landed a punch above his left eye. His head snapped back and his shoulders traveled the short distance over the gap between the bed and the wall. I put my knee on the mattress to reach him. He thrust his foot at me which rammed into my abdomen, just below my solar plexus. It took the wind out of me as my fist missed him completely.



He bounded off the bed and grabbed his leather jacket, jeans, and boots. I sucked breaths as I lunged at him. I grabbed him, shoved him hard against the wall, then swung at him as he pushed himself off the wall. My knuckles smacked his head just above and to the back of his ear. It made his head jerk to his far shoulder. He stumbled, then turned towards me as I was rearing back with my arm. He shoved me back towards the bed, then leaped for the doorway, still holding the clothes he had picked up. I kicked his shin. He stumbled and fell to the floor, his knee taking all his weight. I thought I heard something pop but I wasn’t sure. He dropped his clothes and grab his knee. I was about to jump on him, knowing I could kick him in the balls and then stomp him, kick the living fucking shit out of him, but Lana must have stood up on the bed, because it seemed when she jumped on me, she was coming from above. Her slender arms wrapped around my throat, her legs around my waist.



She screamed, “You fucking asshole! Stop it! It’s all YOUR fault he’s here! You went and fucked her! Why shou…”



She continued shouting but I wasn’t listening. She was really choking me with her arms. I tried to pull them off but couldn’t. If I had any clarity of thought before that moment, it vanished. I became insane, crazed, a rabid animal. I think I rasped out, “You fuckin’ goddamn bitch.” I saw the motherfucker crawl into the hallway.



I kept trying to pull Lana’s arms off and failing. I turned and twisted and made my way to an open area of wall. I turned my back to it, then lunged backwards, smashing Lana’s back and head against the wall. I kept pushing back as I tried to yank her arms off my neck.



Lana was now sobbing and screaming, “You’re hurting me! Stop it! Stop it! I don’ care about him! I hate you! You fucked her today! OW! You’re hurting me! STOP IT!”



I took one step farther away from the wall, then virtually jumped backwards as hard as I could, ramming her little body against the wall. I heard a loud thud, then some picture frame crashed to the floor, sounds of broken glass. Lana’s arms loosened. I peeled them off and stepped away from the wall. I heard her head hit the wall again as she fell backwards. I frantically turned and twisted and finally started getting her legs loosened from around my waist. One of her hands grabbed my shirt at my shoulder, the other started slapping the back of my head. She was still shouting words. I pulled my arm away, then my elbow punched backwards as hard as I could.



“URGH!” Lana yelped, her legs dropped from around my waist. She fell to the floor. I jumped towards the door and ran down the hall. I saw the pierced face prick, now in his black jeans, pulling on a black engineer boot in the kitchen. He was wearing both of them now. He was leaning against the table. Maybe his knee was injured. His chest was still naked. His nose and mouth were bleeding, maybe from that dumb first punch.



He shouted at me. “Fuck it, dude! I don’t give a shit about her! She called me! She wanted to fuck! It was all her fuckin’ idea! Jus’ let me fuckin’ leave!”



I heard him but didn’t listen to a word. He backed up against the kitchen counter. I charged at him. He moved quickly, my fist landed on his shoulder. I wasn’t really thinking at all. My only goal in life was to beat him to death. That’s all that mattered to me. It was my meaning for existence.



He tried to kick me in the balls but hit my thigh. I landed a punch to his solar plexus that almost doubled him over, then another to his ear which jerked his head to the side, but when I tried to grab his trachea and close my hand like a vise to rip his throat open, he brought a knee up and did at least partially connect with my testicles. I let go of him. We were both bent over then, each of us trying to suck air in. He shuffled away from me, sliding his fucking ass along the edge of the countertop, he stopped shy of the refrigerator. He straightened up, almost fully, his hands went behind him flat on the countertop, propping him up, as he kept trying to get his wind back.



I swallowed a couple times. I started to straighten up too, still trying to suck air deep to get the pain out of my groin. I spoke between gasps of air. “I gonna fuckin’… rip your fuckin’ head off… you motherfuckin’… prick. I’m gonna… fuckin’ kill you!” In my peripheral vision, I saw movement. Lana must have caught her breath and run in from her bedroom. She was still naked.



She stood at the entryway of the kitchen. She started shouting, “Stop it! Both of you STOP IT! Don’t fight! STOP IT!” She looked at the son-of-a-bitch. “Richie! Just leave! Just get out of here!”



I gulped more air. I was blocking his exit by way of the mud room, and the front door was too far for him to get to fast unless he was faking the injured knee. I’d be able to grab him no matter which exit he picked. I think he knew that. I growled at him, “I’m fuckin’ gonna kill you, motherfucker.”



Once more I charged the son-of-a-bitch, my left hand an open claw for his throat, my right in a fist cocked back. I saw his right arm start to move from behind his back. I knew he’d not be able to get a fist very high before I connected with one of my hands. My abs tensed to receive a stomach punch.



I’m pretty sure Lana released an extremely high pitched scream before it felt like my lower left chest had been rammed with the top end of a baseball bat. It stopped me dead in my tracks. Again the wind was knocked out of me. Maybe he pushed me back a little with it. It hurt like hell, excruciating pain really, maybe he broke one of my fuckin’ ribs. I looked down and saw it, the large kitchen knife, the one with the nine inch blade, the one I used for virtually everything. I always kept it sharpened.



The side of the blade was angled about 45 degrees, only a couple inches of steel showing, the rest buried inside me. The fucker’s hand was still on the wooden handle. For a moment I wondered if he was going to pull it out so we could keep fighting, then all my strength seemed to evaporate. The room became pin drop quiet for two seconds, then Lana shrieked even louder and higher pitched. The noise was grating, irritating to me.



Everything began moving in slow motion. I saw the son-of-a-bitch’s hand let go of the knife, then his knee coming up again. I think I tried to lean back, maybe I was already falling back, maybe I had started crumpling straight down. I’m not sure which. His knee connected, missed my balls but hit my pubic bone with force. I then was definitely falling backwards, still in slow motion. I didn’t have the strength or the wits to throw my arms out to the sides or twist a little to break the fall. My back then my head hit the tile floor hard. I think my head bounced. It disoriented my alcohol clouded brain for a few seconds.



I then heard Lana screaming words again. “You stupid FUCKING ASSHOLE! Why did you DO that?! You stupid ass!”



I think she started slapping the motherfucker. I heard smacking sounds.



“Fuck you, bitch! He was gonna kill me! I’m gettin’ the fuck out’a here! You crazy fuckin’ bitch!”



I didn’t want the bastard to leave. I did want to kill him. Then I thought I was going to vomit, but it was a cough. My mouth filled with blood. I turned my head to the side and coughed again, expelling it onto the floor. I thought I was drowning for a moment. I started taking faster breaths. I don’t know why or how, maybe my adrenaline switched gears or something, but I suddenly felt nearly sober. My mind started racing, trying to figure out what had just happened, why it had happened, whipping through more and more thoughts and memories, like I was going through a filing cabinet searching for something extremely important. Lana’s shitkickers on the truck dash? I heard an odd gurgling sound in the background.



A moment later, Lana dropped to her knees beside me, naked, her face contorted, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her hands were hovering over my chest. They were shaking. So was her body. Her mouth was open like she was screaming but I only heard a whimpering sound. Her lower lip curved inward over her teeth, like you see little kids do when they’re getting ready to start bawling really loud and hard. I wanted to say something to calm her down but I couldn’t think of a thing to say. I tried to raise my hand to hold one of her trembling hands, but I didn’t have the strength.



For some reason, I thought of that Saturday, just a couple months ago, maybe early August, when I had finally taken Lana to that Thai restaurant in the city, for lunch, not dinner. A few days before, I had given her a dress, similar to the one she wore to her high school graduation, except it was pastel blue, and along with that, I gave her a pair of thin strapped, medium brown, leather sandals. I asked her to wear the things on our date. She did. At the time I had been sober for twelve days.



She looked so beautiful that day. She even took out the ring from her eyebrow piercing. The lunch was very nice, pleasant, we talked nearly non-stop. That dry period was when I started truly understanding she knew things, like current events, cultural history, that sort of thing. She was intelligent and bright. I fell in love with her that day, or something like love, maybe it was only that day, maybe only until I had my next drink a few days later. But that day, beginning at the restaurant, then when we walked hand in hand along the lakefront, I was madly in love with her, yet… the day had eventually been stained with sadness and guilt for me.



On that walk, I remembered another Saturday, during another dry period for both me and Barb, six or so months into our marriage. It was our nineteenth sober day. I had recalled saying to Barb, “We’re going to make it this time.”



Barb had gripped my hand tighter and said, “I hope you’re right. I really want you to be right.”



Barbara had been incredibly beautiful that day too, and on our slow stroll along the lakefront it really did seem to me that everything was possible. I realized that day that I truly did love her. The booze just always got in the way, although I knew it was more than the drinking. Sometimes it was just me getting in the way of that love. Holding her hand I turned off the concrete sidewalk onto the grass and headed into the trees where we sat on a shaded bench. I told her what I had realized, I mean the part about truly loving her. She said she truly loved me too. We talked about what we really wanted in our lives, in our life together, in our marriage, what we felt were the most important things. Neither of us mentioned stuff like ‘a lot of money’ or ‘fancy cars.’

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