Posts Tagged ‘gay love’

To say that Maurice was a happy man; was to understand first his suffering and then his pleasure.



Maurice would go to work with a smile on his face, until he saw the woman who was making his life a miserable hell. He would watch her show off her engagement ring and brag about the plans for her wedding.



Maurice would tell everyone, he was wishing her all the best and that they should attend the wedding and not to forget to send him the pictures of their nuptial, via email.



After work, he would go home and look at his answering machine. The one device in his entire home that can give him more pleasure than his coffee machine and dildo put together.



If it was flashing red then he hoped he had a message from the one person, who could make him smile for the next couple of days. If not then his smile for the next day would falter, until that message came. When he did receive an message, immediately, Maurice would drop everything to be there, that same day or hour.



He would head over to the seethe motel that almost became akin to his home and would either wait for or see him there.



Mario… his tall Italian prince.



The name of the man, he has fallen in love with, would send shivers through his entire body. So, he began calling him ‘prince’ to alleviate the strong emotions coursing through him.



They would make love or have sex or just fuck in the cheap motel room. Long ago, Maurice had noticed that Mario had an itch for his cock up his ass and a thing for his ear. Mario would come to him hard and needing a good fuck. Sometimes all it took was the mentioning of a good tongue fucking his ear that got Mario going, but there were other times.



Times where, it gave Maurice hope and made him believe that there was something more to them than a quick fix. It was those times that Mario would explore more of their union and open up to him.



Mario would talk about himself and very few times about his girlfriend. It was those special moments that had Maurice coming back for more like an addict. Desperately, wanting a fix and feeling ashamed of it. Maurice loved the way Mario made him feel, but hating himself for it, because no matter how much sex they have, Mario would still get up and leave to go home to his girlfriend. No, fiancée!



There were other times when Mario would ask him about himself and Maurice would tell him everything he wanted to know. There were other times where words didn’t quite describe how he felt and he would either kiss Mario’s ear tenderly or made love to him to let them show.



After those sessions Mario would lay longer in Maurice’s arms and let him touch his golden body. Maurice took advantage of the moment and would touch Mario all over. Every where his hands could get to, Maurice would try to brand his touch into the other man’s skin.



Once, Maurice shoved his fingers in the loose mess that was Mario’s hole and Mario would let him play with the loose and sticky skin of his redden rim.



Maurice still couldn’t believe that Mario would still allow him to fuck hi. Though, there were times they would switch things up, but Maurice topped more than Mario. Mario had trusted him completely with giving him pleasure that he hardly touched himself to get off.



They had done everything at least twice at this point, but Maurice was desperately trying to convince Mario to go out with him, like on a real date. Maurice wanted them to do things that couples would normally do, like hold hands and express their love in public. Preferably, at work where everyone would turn their heads and asked him about the golden colored God, he had just brought into the office with him.



Maurice would love to do anything to get that bitch and Mario to break up, but every time he said something wrong or inappropriate about her, Mario would clam up or get defensive. On occasion, Mario would just get up and leave the motel room, all together.



Coming back to the entail statement, if Maurice was a happy man, since he had to go through so many trails and suffering to keep a hold onto the man that he loved.



Maurice would suffer through the days and nights, where he would dream. Dream about the receiving more than he was given, those dreams would leave him breathless with love and satisfaction and other times, he would dream of losing it all. Those dreams would leave him desperately gasping for air. Fear and desperation would be tightening his lungs and constricting his heart.



So eventually, the motel visits didn’t help anymore. Especially, when Mario showed up one day with his wedding ring on. Even though Mario said it was inevitable, Maurice couldn’t stand to see it on his hand. It was the first time that Maurice had left the motel room and had left Mario behind for a change.



Mario made it up to him by taking him out to a movie, but it only made matters worse. It only showed him a glimpse of what he could never have in reality and secretly only in his dreams.



They sat in the dark holding hands, but showing little else. Mario had sweated so much during the movie that they had taken a shower when they had gotten back to the motel room. Maurice had kissed Mario’s nervousness away, but there was never to be a repeat outing of this kind ever again.



Slowly, Maurice felt the clock began its count down as the months turned into weeks, weeks turned into days, till it was mere hours before Mario’s wedding day.



Maurice was planning on staying home, but the next day. He couldn’t understand how he had ended up alone in the groom’s dressing room looking at the groom as he put on his wedding attire.



“You look good, Mario.” He said quietly.



Mario turned around suddenly that his bowtie came undone.



“Maurice what are you doing here?” Mario asked, with frightened eyes.



While approaching Mario, like a cat approaching its dinner, Maurice grabbed the ends of the bowtie and pulled Mario close to him. He looked into the gold irises and began tying the knot of the bowtie. Maurice felt Mario’s breath ghost his lips as they stood quietly looking into each other’s eyes.



“I don’t want you to marry her, but I can’t stop you from doing it. So, I came to say good bye to my prince for good.” Maurice said sadly.



Mario grabbed Maurice’s elbows before he could move away. Mario pulled him in and kissed him hard and long. Maurice’s hand came up and threaded through the once perfectly combed black curly hair as he messed up the dark curls that were far too soft and thick to let go.



Maurice felt their bodies connect in their usual way and their groins rubbed against each other. Immediately, without fail, they became hard as the kiss became heated and passionate.



One thing led to another and they were tearing each other’s clothes off. Maurice removed Mario’s clothes as if to say ‘don’t go, please, I am begging you’, but Mario removed his with care and tenderness.



Finally, when they were both naked, they wrapped their arms around each other in an embraced that spoke volumes. Maurice could feel Mario trembled in his arms and knew that this was a man, lost and confused. He pulled back his lover’s head and looked into his honey-colored eyes.



Maurice saw the wetness and knew what was happening inside of Mario’s head. Mario was torn in two or in too many ways. Mario was confused of his sexuality as well as his love for his wife to be and him.



Maurice knew he gave Mario’s body something that it has never experienced before, but in the same time, it made Mario experience things, he has never felt before. Maurice knew it was also impossible for him to ask Mario to give his relationship up, but at the same time he had wanted it with every fiber of his body. Some where in his body, he knew that Mario had maybe fallen in love with him, too.



Suddenly, there was nothing more to want as Mario began kissing him again. Mario touched his cock and began spitting in his hand to get the fat member wet. Maurice waited until Mario turned around and spread his legs as his golden lover braced himself against the counter top of the dressing table.



The sight of his lover’s lean back exposed made Maurice longed for things that he knew he could never have. With tears streaming down his cheek, he grabbed the golden muscled globes apart and slowly worked his cock into his lover’s ass.



It was an effort to get it in, but eventually it fit, like it did the other times before. Maurice reached around and grabbed his lover’s stomach and caressed the ripped muscles that bulged from Mario’s abdomen.



Maurice rested his head against Mario’s back and listened to his lover’s pants of pleasure and ecstasy. Maurice kept the rhythm slow at first, but Mario kept thrusting back to pick up the pace.



Maurice tenderly kissed Mario’s ear and felt the man shook from it. He didn’t want to rush their last moment together, but he had no choice, since there was a knock at the door and Mario told whoever it was in Italian to probably fuck off.



Maurice felt the urgency in his lover’s body and knew there was no way to prolong the inevitable. Unwillingly, Maurice relented and lifted his head up and began to pump into his lover in earnest.



He moved his hips faster and harder into his lover. The force of his thrusts rocked the mirror in front and for a moment a flash of deja-vu entered his mind. They have been here before, in the same situation. Mario’s suffering face with his right behind, their rutting bodies reflected their sinful union as Maurice brutally fucked into Mario’s ass.



Maurice felt their orgasms came crashing down over them. He reached up to silence Mario’s cries of ecstasy as he rested his head against Mario’s neck and bit his pleasure in to golden skin. They staid like that for a moment and then the moment was gone.



Mario nudged him to get up and Maurice did. Mario began putting his clothes back on and so did Maurice. Mario began fixing his hair and so did Maurice. The only thing that Mario couldn’t do was fix his bowtie and so Maurice did that for him.



Maurice tied the knot for the bowtie and Mario thanked him. His nod a shy one while Maurice’s was sad.



Without saying ‘good bye’ or ‘see you later’ Mario left Maurice standing in the changing room, by himself again.



The wedding was beautiful and Mario was even more beautiful. Everyone was watching the wedding couple, but Maurice saw only Mario. He watched as Mario rubbed his neck where Maurice had placed a love bite.



Every now and then Mario would adjust his pants and Maurice knew Mario was feeling Maurice’s cum leaking slowly out of his ass. The idea made Maurice smile while his dick became hard. Maurice left before he could watch Mario turn to kiss his wife for the first time.



‘Fuck the newly weds, he thought’



Maurice received throughout the day, pictures of the newly wedded couple and their wedding reception. Maurice was happy to see that at certain times, Mario looked distant and dejected from it all. In one picture it looked like he was having trouble sitting down.



The pictures ended when he saw the pictures of them driving away and Maurice knew they were leaving to go on their 2 week honeymoon trip to Italy. Maurice was hoping that their plane would be delayed, but the text message he saw on his telephone made him both sad and happy to read.



‘We are leaving to go on our honeymoon. Wait for me, until I return. Love, your prince.’



And so…



Maurice waited for him. Hoping that Maria and Mario would change into Maurice and Mario as there would be no more Mario, Maria and Me.



The End



P.s.



There might be an epilogue to see how long Mario can keep it up. If he is stronger divided or weaker whole?

8===> More than the big ball in Times Square drops at midnight



As Josh pulled into the pizza store parking lot he shifted the still half-hard shaft straining the fabric of his shorts. He also took one more glance at his phone again…hoping against all hope to find a text from Kyle he had missed…and saw that it was a few minutes after 10PM now. He frowned at both the hour and at the still empty, new text screen before he kicked open the car door and sluggishly walked into the shop.



“Please tell me I am done and can get the hell out of here,” was the begging whine he gave Cody when he saw just two boxes stacked on top of each other under the heat lamp. “That last run almost killed me man.”



Cody grinned wide at first as he couldn’t help but notice both the obvious protrusion and the dark wet spot on Josh’s crotch. Then his face adopted a, ‘You don’t wanna know’ look that made Josh cringe. “Well little bro…”



Josh cut him off in mid sentence with, “Fuck no Cody! Somebody will be back soon enough to take that one! Please don’t ask me to do ‘just one more’.”



“Shut the hell up and listen a minute, Josh,” Cody ordered.



Josh slumped to the chair next to the dispatch screen without looking at it, but did give his friend a look that could kill as he already knew the pleading that was about to come. “Oh what the fuck! It’s not like I have anything to go home to except an empty house anyway.” His expression was something resembling a martini blended of hatred, lust, and despair…and eyes that were like a pair of wet olives floating on top trying to make love to the mixture but only succeeding in weeping.



“Josh…” Cody began as he walked to the chair and squatted down as he wrapped an arm around his shoulder, “…listen to me guy. This one is the last one and the only reason I want you to take it is because it’s right on your way.” He paused before adding, “Its a comp’d order, but this guy will tip big anyway. Easy money for you.”



Josh felt the squeeze on his upper arm and saw the magnified smile on Cody’s face. Exceptional tip or not, he had no desire to even see another customer tonight, much less be friendly. He just wanted to go to the house and cry. “Please Cody. Let somebody else deliver the damn thing,” he whined.



Cody playfully turned Josh’s face to his and looked straight into his eyes as he said, “Josh, you just might want to look at the address before you bitch anymore because this is a really good customer of yours. But if you really don’t want to drop this one off…” The sarcastic grin he tacked on the unfinished statement was as confusing as the wink and glance he gave towards the computer screen above them.



Josh’s eyes grudgingly followed Cody’s to the glowing monitor. He shook his head a little to find clarity of the street and house number he was seeing; then almost knocked his friend over as he jumped up from the chair and pasted his face to the screen to let the far too familiar address bore into his brain. “If you are fucking with me, I swear I will stuff your ass in the pizza oven, Cody!” burst from his lips and his eyes began to moisten. He spun around to take in the wide smile on Cody’s face and was literally shaking as he mumbled, “Are you serious? Is he REALLY there?”



Cody grinned from ear-to-ear as he embraced his friend and whispered in his ear. “All I am going to say is the customer said he is really, really, really hungry, and he will never order from us again if anyone but you shows up with his food. And the customer is always right aren’t they?” The huge guffaw that came after those words made Josh start laughing too, as tears of joy streamed down his cheeks.



After managing to regain some composure, Josh looked at Cody and asked, “Is this some really twisted scheme Kyle talked you into to mess with my mind half the night?”



Cody simply grinned and replied, “Nope! All I am allowed to tell you is his cell battery died at the Rochester airport just as they called for his flight to board, and he called the shop from a pay phone about two hours ago, to tell me he was in Atlanta and catching the last commuter here in 15 minutes…but to not tell you.” Cody halted for a breath and then added, “I think he wanted to surprise you since the day had been so fucked up, Josh.”



Josh slammed both hands on his hips and announced, “I don’t know whether I want to kick his ass or just make love to him until his evil head explodes.” He couldn’t help but join Cody in a very healthy laugh at his supposedly conflicted emotions. Deep down inside, he was doing a happy dance like he had never done one before. His man was home!



Getting checked out was done in record time and after a hug and New Year’s kiss from Cody, Josh literally ran from the shop to his car with his one last delivery of the night. As he started the old Honda up, the radio station began playing hits from the 1990′s and the first one was the 10,000 Maniacs chart buster ‘Because the Night Belongs to Lovers.’ Josh’s tears of happiness wouldn’t stop coming for the next three blocks as he let the words of the song speak to him. As much as he wanted to drive faster than a Blue Angels pilot showing off in an F-18 Hornet, Josh wasn’t about to take any chances and drove slowly and cautiously while taking in every word of the song playing. At one stop light he looked up through his windshield at the mist covered moon, and spoke to it with, “Please let that song be ours tonight.” He kept staring at the twinkling stars and luminous moon and allowed himself to drift into daydreaming about his and Kyle’s live video session again before a honking horn behind him brought him back to reality. As he slowly drove under the now green light, he felt a pleasingly painful hard-on that was once again straining the fabric of his too tight briefs. He snickered as he realized part of his fresh wood came from the vivid memory of the mutual huge explosions he and Kyle had shared by their own hands while camming last night and how they had video cuddled and pillow talked afterwards. He also knew that a bigger reason was the fantasy that was taking more and more space in his mind of what was to come yet tonight. By the time Josh turned into the driveway of the house on the bay, his undies and his mind were both a sticky mess.



He was almost all the way to the front door when he remembered the food that was in the car. ‘Dammit! Kyle is probably actually hungry,’ zinged thru his brain as he did a heel and toe spin, and ran back to grab the two boxes sitting on the passenger seat. An evil smirk crept to his lips as he approached the small covered porch again and he spoke quietly to the warm cardboard in his hands. “He wants to play pizza boy at the door by calling in an order, does he? Couldn’t be bothered to call me and say, ‘Hey I am home,’ could he? Thinks he won this one, does he?” He snickered under his breath as he decided to get even and be ‘just the pizza guy dropping off a freebie.’ Instead of barging through the entry like he wanted to, he rapped the door hard with his knuckles and waited patiently.



When the door opened a moment later, Kyle was standing there in only the same blue and white board shorts he had on the first time they met. “Great! Dinner is finally here,” was all he said as he stuffed a pair of crisp $20′s in Josh’s shirt pocket and snatched the two boxes from his grasp. Before closing the door in his boyfriend’s face, he tacked on, “Thanks and keep the change.”



Josh slid down the wall and sat on the concrete with his arms crossed waiting for the door to reopen. He chuckled as he thought to himself how Kyle thinks he is winning this little game of foreplay chess. He reached down to rub the strange double lump in the large pocket on the right side of his leg. “I still have his extra icing cups for the cinnamon bread in my pocket and that’s called ‘Checkmate bitch!’” But he decided to play it up and pasted the most despondent look he could muster on his face when the door creaked open again.



“Aw come here babe. You know I am just messing with you, ” pierced the night air above him.



Josh started to pull himself to his feet, and tried to not let the excitement of seeing his lover’s nearly naked frame silhouetted by the lights from inside the house get to him, but gave in as Kyle clutched his head and pulled him to his lips. Josh returned the tongue battle as he also snaked his hand down to the pouch of his cargos holding the extra icing containers, and managed to get one out and the top loose without Kyle noticing. Just as he was feeling Kyle’s hand slip behind him and grope his globes, Josh raised his hand to the front of Kyle’s boardies and pulled the waistband out far enough to be able to squeeze the icing down inside them. Kyle jumped back as he felt the semi liquid ooze down over his cock and pubes and yelled, “What the hell Josh?”



Josh grinned wide and pulled out one of the twenty dollar bills Kyle had wedged in his shirt pocket. “Sorry buddy, but I only get bought off by one guy now.” He snickered as he pressed the bill into Kyle’s hand. “But hey…at least you got your dick wet and sticky.” The befuddled look on his face was priceless as Josh knew he had him by the balls now. He sealed that in Kyle’s mind by moving his hand to his crotch and massaging them thru the surfer trunks. “But I am kinda horny, so if you don’t tell him, I won’t either, stud.”



The laughs and embrace they shared then was only finally broken when Kyle said, “Oh what the hell. I have never been able to say ‘no’ to a really cute blond pizza guy.” He laced his fingers with Josh’s and guided him through the doorway before adding with a wink, “Just don’t wear me totally out…my boyfriend is supposed to be here sometime yet tonight.”



Josh angled his face to Kyle’s ear and whispered as he kept rubbing the globs of icing on Kyle’s cock, pubes, and balls through the shorts. “By the time I finish licking off the mess I am making of your crotch, you will forget about any other guys even existing. In fact, by the time this night is over, you won’t even remember your ‘other’ boyfriend’s name.”



Kyle pinned Josh to the foyer wall and kissed him again. He could feel his pre leaking and mixing with the sweet dessert topping. “Okay baby…I’m going to let you win this one only because I have missed you so much and can’t take it anymore.”



The nuzzling that Kyle’s lips began inflicting on Josh’s neck made him quiver and decide that both of them were going to be the winners tonight. He pulled away from Kyle long enough to pick up the food boxes from the hall table and tease him by walking away with it. “Dinner in bed sound good, hunk?” He purposely wiggled his bubble butt and then looked over his shoulder with a seductive smile and a throaty, “Or do you want dessert first?” Not waiting for an answer, he then ran for the bedroom with Kyle in immediate fast pursuit. He came to a screeching halt one foot inside the bedroom door and stared in disbelief at what he saw. Had Kyle not been quick enough, the pizza box would have followed the dessert one and hit the floor too, as they both slowly slipped from Josh’s grasp.



Kyle quickly sat the rescued boxes aside and said, “So much for being able to seduce you first and surprise you.” His arms encircled Josh’s waist from behind and snuggled his boned up crotch to Josh’s round butt cheeks. “You like it baby?”



Josh had to literally dig to find his voice. “Gawd Kyle…it’s…it’s…it’s amazing!” eventually found a way to escape from his lips. He had found out long ago that Kyle had a serious romantic streak, but he had really outdone himself this time. There were scented candles burning everywhere…some red, some white. The TV was on showing the partying in Times Square, but with the sound muted in favor of the Elton John love songs CD playing on the stereo. A new, pure white comforter was adorning the California king waterbed along with four oversized pillows sheathed in white satin cases. Deep red rose petals were scattered all over the bed and the huge Tigger and Pooh stuffed animals were cuddled together in the center…patiently holding the spot for their owners. Josh leaned back into Kyle’s arms and sniffled a little. “You are just too much at times, babe.”



Kyle pulled him back into him tight. He exhaled a hot breath into Josh’s ear and then added the words, “There can never be too much when it comes to you after that stunt with the sign at the airport, lover.” He gently kissed his way across Josh’s cheek and then lightly brushed his lips over the moist ones he found. Kyle could taste the saltiness on Josh’s cheek and spun him around to stare in his eyes while he held him. “Why are you crying baby?”



Josh inhaled deep and in almost a whimper answered, “Because with all the ways I thought of how special I wanted this New Year to start, I never thought it could be like this, Kyle. I love you so much. Sometimes I am scared I can’t be everything you deserve.” He surrendered himself to Kyle’s strong arms and buried his damp face between his bare pecs.



Kyle muzzled the little laugh that was trying to crawl from his throat and simply stroked Josh’s thick blond locks while holding him. He thought to himself, ‘I do stuff like this because I cant always find the words to say how much you mean to me.’ Eventually he tilted Josh’s face upwards and after kissing his nose he softly and sincerely uttered, “All you have to do to be everything I want or need, is to just keep being you. You finished owning my heart ten days ago with that sign at the airport.”



Josh smiled.



Kyle smiled.



The smiles evolved to a passionate kiss and they continued to just hold each other while swaying to the music and words of ‘Can You Feel the Love Tonight’ echoing from the walls. The digital clock in Times Square on the television was showing 11:01 as they sank down to the softness of the bed. There were only fifty-nine more minutes left in what had become a most special year for both of them.



They spent a few long minutes of just laying with their arms and legs entwined…trading tender kisses and finding a lulling peacefulness from the rest of the world while huddling together. Kyle finally broke the silence by propping himself up on his left arm and letting his eyes drill into Josh’s as he declared, “I love you so much, Joshie.”



It was by far the most seductive he had ever heard Kyle’s voice be. Before he could reply back, Josh’s work polo was being rolled up his abs and he let a purr trickle from his lips as he felt Kyle’s fingers dance across them. He sat up slightly and raised his arms to make it easier for Kyle to finish removing the tight pullover. Teeth were tenderly nibbling on his right boy teat before the shirt hit the floor beside the bed. Josh gritted his own pearlies and released a deep moan from his innermost being as he grabbed the thick, dark hair of the head pinned to his chest. “Mmmmm Kylio, my one and only,” seeped from between his lips as he pinched his eye lids shut in pleasure from the combined feelings of the mouth on his pecs and the fingers erotically moving back and forth on his smooth tummy. Kyle had his pinky in Josh’s belly button teasing it, at the same time his thumb and index finger popped the snap on his khakis. He allowed himself the gratification of gliding his hands down Kyle’s firm back and enticingly tug the waistband of his board shorts downward…just far enough to expose Kyle’s hard cheeks and snug the elastic at the bottom of them. It was as much a go-ahead signal to Kyle, as it was a desire to get them off him. The warm, moist lips moved to suckle the small divot at the base of Josh’s neck at the same time he felt the fingers graze his fabric trapped erection as his zipper was being lowered.



“I think somebody has a big hard-on,” accompanied the grinning face that Kyle gave Josh as he finished opening the flaps on his cargos. He bent over to kiss the large damp spot showing near the elastic on the baby blue bikinis he had found once he jockeyed the work shorts lower. Josh was so hypnotized by the movements of Kyle’s lips on his cotton covered cock, that he didn’t even feel his hand slip inside one of the leg pouches and pull out the final dessert icing cup Josh had there. “I think we need to free it before it rips out a seam or two,” came from Kyle just before Josh lifted his hips to allow the shorts to be pushed down to his feet. Kyle smiled as he sat up on his knees and noticed Josh’s oozing mushroom sneaking out from the yielding waistband of the skimpy, well-packed, blue briefs.



As he kicked and freed the khaki shorts from his toes, Josh smiled back and reached up to grab a handful of the bulge that couldn’t have been any more obvious in the blue and white surfer trunks. “I don’t think I am the only one with a massive wood problem right now.” Continuing to clutch and fondle his lover’s crotch, Josh added with a grin, “Feels like you have a petrified Redwood hidden in there, babe.” He pondered for a few seconds on whether to run his hand nonchalantly up inside a leg opening and sensually search for Kyle’s prize, or just let his lust go wild and yank his boardies down and swallow it. Before he could decide, Kyle shifted quickly and dropped a knee on each side of Josh’s stretched out legs and leaned over to grind his tree trunk against Josh’s. The intimacy of their pleasure rods meshing together through the two fabrics of their underwear was almost too much. Josh snapped his eyes closed again to enjoy the gentle thrusts and grinds of his lover. He grasped Kyle’s forearms and let out a moan that was near orgasmic by itself to Kyle’s ears.



Kyle happily smirked as he looked down and saw a growing puddle of pre juice pooling on Josh’s tummy. He sat up on Josh’s thighs again and shifted his fingers to Josh’s hips. He worked his long digits inside the binding elastic at the sides and in almost time-lapse photography fashion, ever so slowly peeled the tight blue bikinis that he would never find sexy on any guy but his Joshie, down his young lover’s still farm-hard thighs. He left the undies hang around Josh’s knees and shimmied his butt back onto his calves. As his hand encircled the base of the standing-at-attention erection, he verbally observed, “Oh yeah baby…looks and feels a whole lot better than it did last night on the cam.” Kyle tacked on a big wink before lowering his face to tease Josh’s nut sac with his tongue tip. His palm gripped tighter around the pulsing flesh and just squeezed it forcefully while Josh’s hips raised to meet Kyle’s tongue. The noises Josh began to make, could have been a soundtrack for a porn movie.



“You don’t have any idea how much I have missed being with you, Kyle,” finally squeaked out in between Josh’s gasps and moans. He tried fruitlessly to grab Kyle’s shoulders and pull him up to his face to make out some more…his hands finding nothing but air as Kyle continued to nurse his cum holders with his mouth and milk his tool with his fist. A major shiver ran up his spine as he felt Kyle drop the grip on his trembling cock and his tongue cruise under his balls to lick at his sweet spot. “Oh fuck me running, babe,” screamed from his lips when Kyle’s teeth took over and he munched just hard enough on the knot to simultaneously make Josh’s legs spread even wider and rise to a half sitting position. Leaning far enough forward to be able to manage latching onto the waist of Kyle’s board shorts, Josh shoved his hands inside them and begin a fumbled search that ran from first pawing at the hard globes, to forcing their way to the front and be able to finally touch the hard as rock flesh he hadn’t for almost two weeks. “I want your fucking dick, lover,” exploded from Josh’s mouth and he snared Kyle’s eight incher and held on as if he would let go, he would never get the chance to touch it again.

Kyle was half laughing as he pulled back from the snacking his mouth had been doing on Josh’s nuts. He sat up and then leaned back on his hands with a devilish smile on his boyish face. “Help me get the hell out of these damn shorts then, baby,” was all he said as he dropped to his back and begin to push the blue and white trunks over his massive boner. Josh said not word one as he slapped Kyle’s hands away and fixated his eyes on the biggest tent he had ever seen Kyle create. His finger tips from both hands locked into the waistband and without bothering to unlace the draw string, he jerked it down over Kyle’s blood engorged flesh. Once the fabric had cleared the head and shaft, Josh was like a wild man as he yanked them down his thighs and calves so fast that it was nothing but a blue and white blur as they came off his ankles and flew across the room. Kyle was biting his tongue to keep from laughing at Josh’s excitement; but was strangely turned on by it also. Kyle was now naked and fully prone on his back with his flag pole pointing to the ceiling. He reached for the icing cup he had sneaked out of Josh’s cargos a few minutes earlier and waved it in Josh’s face as he adopted a slutty but also innocent voice. “Want to add some more before you clean up that mess you made in my pubes when you first got home, baby?”



Josh’s first ideas were to either burst out laughing or to snatch the icing and cover Kyle’s face with it. He allowed his own evil grin to mold his face as he took the container from Kyle and opened it. He dribbled one long rope after another of the white dessert jelly on the twitching pole and squished the last bit out onto his balls. As he used his knees to separate Kyle’s legs and begin to bend down, he gave a hint to what he had planned with, “Oh I am going to do more than just clean you up good, stud.” With nothing more said, Josh’s head dropped fully and he began to lick up all the sweet glaze that was now mixing with the natural cream that was getting coached from the slit of Kyle’s cock.



Kyle alternated from watching Josh lick every square inch of his pubes and family jewels, to closing his eyes and enjoying what was quickly becoming the best tongue bath Josh had ever given him. It felt at times as if Josh had three separate taste organs working him and at least a couple pairs of lips; and at other times that his lover was determined to use them to make him cum long before he wanted to. Sometimes it was as if Josh was wired with 220 and sending electric shocks through his whole body via just his tongue tip. Other times he felt as if Josh was trying to swallow his entire torso as his lips and tongue seemed to be everywhere. At one point, Josh pushed him right to the edge as he slurped his way down his man stick and gulped the head into his throat…and then began to lick the icing from his nut sac while still having his tonsils choked. The blobs of the dessert topping had already been cleaned from Kyle’s well trimmed pubes, but now his balls were churning hard and ready for release if Josh didn’t slow down soon. As much as he was enjoying Josh making love to him this way, he also knew there was something much more important to both of them tonight. He reached down and gently pulled Josh off his cock and up to his face with the whispered caveat, “Not yet baby…don’t make me cum yet…please.”



Josh folded himself into Kyle’s arms and they shared a wet and sticky kiss. Both their tongues enjoyed the strange sweetness of the combination of the sugary gel and Kyle’s pre juice. Josh finally pulled away from Kyle’s lips and lustfully spoke, “I just want you good and ready to cum for me babe.” With the shortest of pauses he sneered and added, “Well, I want us both good and ready actually.” He sprawled his compact body on Kyle’s larger frame and smiled so wide as his eyes twinkled and he squirmed his butt cheeks against the thick rod. “You know what I really want Kyle…” He let the unfinished statement hang with nothing but a pleading sneer and simply waited for the man he loved so much to complete it.



Kyle’s face beamed even bigger and brighter than Josh’s and held him tight. He used a finger tip to trace the outline of Josh’s lips and then kissed them…not intently; not deep; not with any tongue…just in a way that was so seductive, tender, and loving. His arms were draped over Josh’s shoulders and his hands were seesawing from yearningly stroking his bare back, to gingerly digging into the muscles. About the same moment that Josh forced his tongue between Kyle’s lips again, Kyle locked his fingers together at the base of Josh’s spine and ever so effortlessly, rolled him over while sucking on the cat-rough tongue now in his mouth. Now on top, Kyle’s hard bone mashed down against his young lover’s equally stiff shaft and Josh began what could only be described as a rhythmic waltz of his hips. The resulting slow grind caused each to moan deeply in the other’s mouth. Kyle stopped kissing long enough to be able to exclaim happily, “My gawd Joshua…I don’t think I have ever wanted you more than right now.”



Before Josh could reply, Kyle smothered his lips again and returned the slow, methodic gyrations with his own. Their male nectar seeped in an almost constant flow from their slits and after a few minutes of the intense frottage, the squishing noises coming from their waists and tummies was almost as loud as their guttural moans. Suddenly in one swift but flawless motion; and without breaking the lip lock he had on Josh; Kyle shifted his lower body up and wedged his fleshy snake under Josh’s tight sac. It first bumped the hard skin just under the nuts, and then seamlessly slid down along the crack of Josh’s cheeks…trailing pre slime along them like it was marking territory. A happy whimper spewed from Josh as he clamped his upper thighs and butt split around the welcome invasion of his man’s throbbing meat. Even though the patient strokes weren’t making contact with his own cum tube, Kyle continued to thrust slowly and gently so that the top side of his tool was pleasuring his lover’s hot spot.



Josh finally had to tear his lips from Kyle; partially to take in a much needed breath; and partly to utter the words that Kyle was waiting to hear. “I love you so much Kyle. Please make us one tonight. Please!” His finger nails broke the skin on Kyle’s hard back as Josh dug in with uncontrolled passion. “Please make love to me…no…please make love with me…in the one way we still haven’t. Please!”



Kyle stopped the motion of his hips but left his timber stay between the warm, trembling mounds of the young man that had unknowingly taught him how to truly love again. His face was glowing as he placed it against Josh’s; stared more intently into his eyes than he ever had before; and murmured, “I am ready to become one too, my sweet baby.” Before Josh could respond, Kyle added, “One tonight and one forevermore.” The looks they then exchanged said it all…but were quickly coupled with barely audible multiple ‘I love you’s’ as their bodies frenziedly confirmed the words they shared.



Josh gave up his lip grip first and teasingly squeezed his butt cheeks on Kyle’s bone. Kyle grinned but said nothing as he planted kisses along Josh’s face to his neck and then down to his chest. His hardness slipped from between Josh’s quaking buns as Kyle shifted downward more and his moist lips and wet tongue continued to map their way south. By the time he was swirling his tongue in Josh’s man shrubbery, legs were encircling his waist. “You are really gonna drag this out and make me completely crazy aren’t you, Kyle?”



A devilish grin appeared as Kyle lifted his face for a second and gazed up across Josh’s body. He was cupping his ball sac and massaging it gently with his palm as he asked, “You don’t really want ‘Wham! Bam! Thank you Sam!’ do you lover?” Since Josh predictably began to snicker and shake his head no, Kyle returned his to the previous spot and embarked on licking his way over the right side of the pelvic bone and then down to the taut skin where crotch, balls, and thigh all meet. He lifted and pushed aside the leg that was keeping his taster from that piece of sensitive flesh, and nursed in it until his suckling had Josh thrashing the bed with his fists. The begging moan that came from above as he slithered his tongue down the inside of Josh’s thigh a few inches told him he probably shouldn’t continue the foreplay teasing he was giving his man too long. As Kyle kissed his way back up the thigh and let his tongue caress Josh’s nuts a moment; he battled in his mind between wanting to make this first time the most special one ever, and the selfish growing desire to bring both of them to satisfaction in the next ten seconds. He quickly dismissed the latter and moved back under Josh’s balls. As he used his entire mouth on the flesh between cum holders and butt crack, he intentionally kept avoiding Josh’s cock that was spasming on its own against his pubes and tummy. It was far more for fear that even a little glancing touch at this point might make it totally convulse and explode, than it was from lack of wanting to play with it. They smiled at each other with the mind-meld knowledge that Josh also was avoiding touching himself to keep the coming specialness of shared orgasms tonight, from happening prematurely.



“MMMMM Kylioooo,” flowed from Josh’s throat when Kyle’s tongue first wiggled its way down the fissure that separated his soft cheeks. When Kyle grasped one in each hand and pried them wide so his tongue could whisk over the winking pucker, Josh squirmed wildly, anchored his knees to Kyle’s ears, and then locked his ankles together across his back so he could pull the amazing lips tight to his manboy pussy. Soft screams of “OH MY FUCKIN’ GAWD KYLE! Eat it! Get it ready!” filled the room as Kyle shoved his tongue thru the tight ring and began to use his teeth and lips to make Josh’s bung heat up. His fingers corkscrewed into Kyle’s dark hair while his ass was being welcomingly intruded by a curled tongue. “Get it all wet lover. You need it wet so that huge fucking man tool of yours will fit without using a pry bar. I want to make love…not feel like the Washington monument is taking my ass. Get it wet and ready and make us one, my love. Make it beg to be screwed!”



Kyle chortled under his breath at the way Josh was pairing loving thoughts with sexually excited trash talk. More seemingly contradictory thoughts kept flowing from Josh as Kyle rammed his tongue in and out, in and out, in and out…again and again and again. He was also scooting up to his knees and raising Josh’s legs at the same time he was treating the love hole like a buffet. On his final oral attack, Kyle synched grabbing Josh’s waist with pulling him into him while he jammed his face forward. His tongue went in as deep as it could without using a scalpel to make it big enough for his entire head. Kyle’s lips were sucking from the exterior like he was trying to get the first drop of an extra thick milkshake thru a narrow straw, as he also rapid fired his tongue against Josh’s interior nerve endings. That brought Josh’s ass high off the bed and Kyle quickly reached for one of the white satin pillows to stick under him. By the time he backed his face from the puckering flower, Josh’s buns were settling onto the pillow at the perfect height for Kyle to snuggle his bone up against it.



“Now…Kyle…now…puhh~lease!” was all that Josh could muster when he felt the knob glancingly poke him. His words and his breath was coming in rapid, short bursts. His eyes were ablaze.



“Soon baby…very soon…I promise,” was the commitment Kyle gave as he began to rub his oozing head over the spot his mouth had just left. “Let me get that sweet man twat of yours a little more wet so we don’t need lube.” After smearing Josh’s entrance with his own juice, he chanced pushing him over the edge by swiping up into his palm, some of the pre that was leaking from Josh’s mushroom. It was an almost terminal error as Josh shook and quivered uncontrollably, and his balls noticeably drew up extra tight. A quick thumb from Kyle, slapped tight to the base of his cum hose, was all that kept Josh from painting them both at that moment. Kyle kept the pressure on as he felt the fight Josh’s load was making to get free. He leaned over and kissed Josh deeply…hoping to help shift his mind from subconsciously forcing the eruption to happen and so Kyle could concentrate on working a pre soaked finger or two inside Josh. He knew his lover was relaxed and almost ready, but he also knew there was no way either could hold out for the time it would take to work his thick cock inside him without a little more prep. He succeeded in getting the first wet finger in easily and Josh responded by clamping down on it with his ass muscles and sucking hard on Kyle’s tongue at the same time. He felt through his thumb, Josh’s load finally give up and retreat back to his balls as he wiggled the tip of the second finger in. Josh moaned in Kyle’s mouth and alluringly shimmied his rump back onto the new intrusion. Kyle used some more of his own white goo to slick up his lover’s hole and slowly finger fucked him until Josh seemed as relaxed as he could be. Pulling his mouth from Josh’s, and with a few more easy finger pokes he simply asked, “Ready baby?”



“More than you can possibly believe Kyle.” Nothing else verbal came from Josh. The smile on his face was big. The gleam in his eyes was unmistakable. The softness in his voice had been as tender as the hand that was now running to-and-fro on Kyle’s hard pecs. The desire for intense physical love making had replaced the lust for a fuck me hard and quick orgasm.



The legs Josh lifted onto his shoulders finalized the unspoken visual answers for Kyle. His hips drifted lazily forward until the seeping cock tip was pressed to Josh’s most intimate spot. He paused just long enough for Josh to take another breath and then gradually eased forward on his knees.



As he felt Kyle push gently and his willing rosebud start to bloom open, Josh purred with, “Make us one my forever love.” His eyes rolled back. Then the lids slowly closed. He bit down on his upper lip as he felt Kyle finally pierce his ring.



Kyle was holding Josh’s ankles high and wide and he just barely caught the chomp Josh made to his lip thanks to his own eyes snapping shut as the tip of his dick disappeared into his lover’s most special slot for the first time. “mmmMMMMmmm,” poured across Kyle’s tongue, and was followed with, “My baby is soooooo tight,” as the rest of his once again preeing madly cock head cleared Josh’s tight opening. He stopped and let the mushroom lay and throb just inside as he ran his hand over Josh’s cheek and asked, “You OK sweetie?”



Josh opened his eyes and they fluttered a little as he licked his lips and smiled before saying, “Oh yeaaaah…I’m more than OK babe.”



Kyle could tell that Josh was holding back the total truth and even though he was bigger than average, he didn’t consider himself anything huge. But he also knew that it had been months since anything more than his tongue or a finger or two had been in Josh’s warm cavern. He didn’t want to go too fast and chance hurting him. His mind…surprisingly; considering the moment…was also recollecting the night they had folded up together for pillow talk after an intense mutual oral session, and somehow ended up discussing their sexual pasts. Josh was surprised to find that Kyle had been almost virtually celibate for the past three years after being dumped by his high school boyfriend; and simply depending on jerking off in cyber session hook ups from chat rooms, and a little internet porn to handle his basic physical needs. Kyle lovingly told Josh how he understood the wild oats he had been sowing since losing his gay virginity at the start of the semester…but he also got him to accept that not only was it a foolish and possibly fatal risk to keep taking; but that he expected total monogamy if Josh wanted to keep seeing him. He smiled to himself as he realized that was the moment that Josh took the real first step towards where they both were in the present…when he told Kyle that the stipulation was more than fine with him. He knew between school and the pizza job, that Josh was constantly being tempted to break that vow. But he also knew Josh’s word was gold and that he was no good at lying. From that night forward, Kyle gave him…rightfully so…the same total trust Josh gave to him. There had never been any question of faithfulness. The sudden pressure on his joy stick of Josh slowly pushing back into him with his bubble butt brought the instant replay of that night to a quick close.



“MMMmmmMMM, Kylioooo. More babe…now…please,” leaked from Josh’s lips as his quaking loins worked against Kyle’s stiffness. His hands were roaming all over the hard chest and lightly rippled abs above him, as his body was slowly but also instinctively giving up more and more of itself to the one poised above him. He pinched his lips tightly together as he felt Kyle shift into him with a new inch of hard flesh and stared in awe at the man he was yielding himself to so willingly before his eyes closed tight. His mind began racing behind the lids. Even though he found Kyle to be so appealing thanks to his almost Greek-god-like chiseled good looks; he also remembered something that Kyle proffered the first time they voiced their innermost feelings for each other while on the forced holiday separation…how if the words were real, they didn’t come from falling in love with the skin. When he mulled that thought over in his mind then, he knew in his heart that he had fallen in love with much more than a physically beautiful guy…it was what was inside that really counted. He snickered slightly as he knew he would love Kyle no less at this moment…even if he opened his eyes to see a young, Danny DeVito look-alike between his thighs.



Kyle was about to question the half laugh coming from his boyfriend, when another couple of inches of his bone was swallowed up by an abrupt shift of Josh’s hips backwards. The smile on his face and the glittering, again open eyes, told him Josh had composed himself to having Kyle’s thickness inside him and was permitting himself to enjoy it as the initial pain dwindled away. Kyle pulled back an inch or two and then slowly moved three back in as he throatily moaned, “I love you so much.” Josh opened his mouth but his only reply became a firm grasp on Kyle’s hips accompanied by a jungle-like growl as Kyle repeated the pull-back and thrust-in a new extra inch or more again. He paused and let his eyes take in Josh’s expression to make certain he wasn’t going any faster than his lover was prepared for. Just to make sure, he softly asked, “Still OK sweet one?”



Josh spit out an obviously happy, “MMM~HHMMM,” and jolted back against Kyle enough to take almost all of his remaining shaft.



The shiver that ran up Kyle’s spine as Josh’s ass muscles squeezed his rod was a like a sudden bone-chilling, sub-zero, Rochester winter wind and made his balls tingle as if they were frost-bitten finger tips bumping against a steel pole. The wintery feelings were juxtaposed with the Sahara desert like heat of their bodies and the near overpowering warmth he had in his heart at that moment. It was if he had plugged himself into a living machine that was testing every nerve ending in his body to see if it could short out the circuits in his brain as he kept teetering between passionate love and crazed lust. He slowly withdrew all but the tip of his cock from Josh’s butt grasp and with the same unhurried restraint, persuaded it back in almost to the hilt. After repeating the same casual but also deliberate movements a couple more times, he pushed in fully and let Josh’s nut sac rest in his pubes while he literally willed his cock to throb inside him. The wildly erotic scream Josh let out, told him he had bumped his lover’s button. Risking fate, Kyle left his cock head pressed to the G-spot and pinned his body to Josh’s to kiss him deeply again.

Author’s Note (C-Sharp)



This chapter is back to the incest theme at the beginning but finishes with another encounter between Denny and John. Is John secretly aware of these encounters or do you believe that he can sleep through two orgasms? I will be developing that relation more in future chapters.



Chapter 4 will delve into Denny’s father’s history and will focus on his first night in prison as told by Denny. There will be plenty of gay sex in Chapter but we will once again jump out of the incest genre for Chapter 4.



Enjoy!



CHAPTER 3: A FAMILY BREEDING SEEDING



Just 3 days after I turned 28, my mom died. A few days later, my dad and I began having sex together. I was barely an adult yet I was having sex with my own father and my best friend. I was very confused. I did not want to be gay but it felt so very good.



My father instructed me to bring him John’s cum-stained underwear. If I didn’t do as he said, he threatened to wake John up and tell him what had just happened. My father had returned to the cruel man I had always known and he was using blackmail to get his way.



It took nearly five minutes to peel John’s underpants off from him without waking him up and by the time I returned to my dad’s bedroom, I had a raging hard-on.



My dad got to his knees and began licking my own cum-soaked underwear, trying to suck all of the semen from it before it dried.



I hated him but his tongue and mouth felt so good, even with my underpants on, that I put my hand on his head and moaned.



After he got all of the semen licked up than he could, he peeled my underwear off from me and slowly licked the underside of my cock. He went up and down my shaft with his tongue several times then just as I was about to smear his face with my cum, he stopped and made me put John’s underpants on.



He got behind me and began licking the semen that soaked through from my underwear to John’s underwear and I could not believe how much pleasure I got from his tongue licking my ass. My cock throbbed each time his tongue went between my ass cheeks.



“Touch my cock, Dad!” I begged but he just kept licking the cum-stained underpants.



Just when I began really enjoying his tongue on my ass, he shifted so that he was in front of me and told me to smear the front of John’s underwear all over my cock. After I had smeared John’s cum onto my cock, my dad peeled John’s underwear off of me and began licking my cum-covered cock.



I tried to push his head forward to make him take my cock into his mouth but he resisted and just continued licking my cock, tasting John’s semen.



“Tonight is not about your pleasure, son, it is about mine.” He said softly.



He then grabbed me and placed my body so that my head was facing down in a pillow. I tried to resist but he was stronger.



“Just relax, boy and put your pretty ass in the air for me.”



He caressed my ass lovingly, admiring it for several minutes.



“You have a beautiful ass, son. Nice, smooth, milky cheeks, hardly any hair at all. And, small, compared to most men. Those are qualities that many gay men want in their sex partner.”



“But, dad, I’m not gay. I still like girls.” I informed him.



“Yes, boy, so do I. If not for going to jail when I was young, I’d probably only want women. But, I’ve always been very sexual and after being locked up with only men for three years, I gave into sexual pressure and began having sex with other men in prison with me. I will tell you about it some time.”



It became quiet for several minutes while he continued to touch my ass, balls and cock in a loving manner.



He then began to lick my ass and I about passed out at the pleasure he was giving me.



He very lightly touched my cock as he licked my ass, which felt great but not enough to make me cum right away.



Occasionally, he would remove his tongue from my ass and lick very slowly up my balls and the shaft of my cock then down again until his tongue resumed licking my asshole.



After about ten minutes of this, I felt a cold draft where his tongue had just vacated my ass and wondered why he had stopped licking. Before I had a chance to move or say anything, I felt a burning but not unpleasant sensation in my ass and he began to probe my asshole with a lubricated finger.



I tried moving away but he held me tightly in his big, strong arms.



“Don’t worry, Denny, my finger hurts more than my cock will.” He said softly and before his words registered in my brain, he mounted my small body and penetrated me with his small but very hard cock.



He was absolutely right about the pain. The pain disappeared when he pulled his finger out and it actually felt good having my father’s small cock inside of me.



Even when he began to fuck me, the pain didn’t come back and the more my ass got used to his cock, the more pleasure I felt.



I could hear and feel his balls slap against my balls. My dad had very large balls but such a small cock.



As he fucked me, I began to wonder about John’s comment about how he wondered why my mom stayed with my dad. I began wondering too.



I had seen them fucking my whole life and my mom seemed to really love getting fucked by my dad’s small cock, just as I was starting to enjoy it now.



My mom was a small woman so maybe guys with big cocks had hurt her pussy.



I was moaning out loud now and my dad began to bang my ass harder and harder. I knew he was about to cum.



Fuck. He doesn’t last very long either.



I had never actually timed my father’s orgasms during the many times they fucked in front of me but mom seemed to cum first most of the time so I didn’t realize until now that he couldn’t last very long.



To my surprise, the big man slowed his pace down.



“I almost came too soon! Your tight ass makes my cock feel so very good, boy!” He said with heavy-breathing.



He suddenly grabbed me by my hair and yanked my head back and kissed me passionately on the lips.



The pain from my head only aroused me even more and I slammed my ass back against him unconsciously as we kissed.



He groaned inside of my mouth then began to fuck me harder again.



Our lips broke from one another’s and he exhaled heavily.



“Fuck! What am I doing? I’m taking your virginity! Naturally, it’s going to be the most thrilling night for me. I may as well enjoy it like I’ve enjoyed taking your brothers and your sister the first time.” He said. Then, he began slamming his cock into my ass even harder than he was before.



I cried out loudly as his huge stomach crashed against my ass cheeks over and over. It felt like nothing I had experienced before. I honestly couldn’t say that my own orgasms ever felt this good before. The wonderful feelings I was experiencing were so very different than simply blowing my wad. Yet, each time he pushed into my body and our balls collided, I became closer and closer to spewing my semen all over my father’s bed.



As if on instinct, he grabbed my arms and pinned them behind my back with one of his large hands as he continued to bang my ass violently. I had been about to jack myself off but he stopped me.



The fact that I had no control over the situation turned me on even more.



“Fuck me harder, daddy! Fuck my ass!!” I begged him. “God, it feels so good!!”



He suddenly pushed himself into me even deeper than before as his body began to tremble.



He was shooting his semen into my ass.



My dad is shooting his sperm into me.



I thought that single thought for several seconds before a single worried thought crept into my brain.



I hope he doesn’t make me pregnant.



My face became hot as I began blushing at my own foolish thought of getting pregnant.



He stayed on top of me for several minutes as he continued to let his balls drain into me.



He had freed my arms during his orgasm and so I began to jack off while his cock was dripping inside of me.



I knew that when he pulled his cock out of me, his semen would probably burst from my ass but it seemed that I wanted to feel his seed inside of me just a little bit longer.



I couldn’t last very long myself tonight as I cried out just as his cock slipped from ass and I felt his semen draining from my ass and I began shooting my own semen all over his bed.



He kissed and caressed my back and my ass while I had my climax.



“I love the smell of semen.” He admitted. “One day soon, I’ll introduce you to the taste and smell of pussy. Your mom and I were members of a very special club and I’ll take you with me the next time we meet.



After about a minute, my body collapsed under his and we fell asleep in that position, with my dad on top of me and both of us were sated.



This time, I didn’t leave my dad’s bed with a sick feeling. Instead, I woke up in a panic that John would wake up and come looking for me.



I couldn’t get out from under my dad so I took a cue from John and began wiggling my ass against my dad’s cock and brought his cock and him back to life.



I didn’t mind, though, because I wanted to see if my second ass-fuck was as good as my first and it was even better. 20 minutes later, my dad shot his load into me and before he could fall asleep on top of me again, I got out from under him.



Before he would let me leave his bedroom, he made me lick his cock clean and I made him cum in my mouth. I still wasn’t used to the bad taste of semen but I figured the more cock I sucked, the better it would be. And, John came to mind when I had those thoughts. I wanted to suck John’s cock more than ever now.



**



When I finally got back to my bedroom, I was completely naked, I had the taste of my dad’s semen in my mouth and my ass was dripping semen and lubricant. I was dead tired and all I wanted was sleep.



To my horror, the sun was starting to come up, so I let the shades down so the sun wouldn’t wake John up.



I got into the sleeping bag with him and was momentarily surprised to feel his naked body but remembered that dad had taken both pairs of our underwear.



My cock got hard as soon as it rubbed against John’s bare, hairy ass.



John shuffled in his sleep and when he turned over, his hard cock poked me in the stomach.



Taking the risk that he might wake up, I peeled the sleeping bag off from his naked body and glanced lovingly at the nude boy.



God, he turns me on so much!



I took my time studying his beautiful naked body.



It was so strange that we were both blondes and even resembled one another but he was taller than I was and his body was hairy, unlike mine.



He had thick blond hair all over his chest and I ran my fingers through it lovingly. In contrast, my chest had no hair.



His head was full of curly blond hair while mine was straight.



We both had a full bush of pubic hair but he had short blond hairs on his legs and ass and my legs and ass were smooth, virtually hairless.



I had seen John’s naked body all of the time as we grew up together but had only been aware of how beautiful he was in the past month, as we played masturbation games in the woods together.



The first time we masturbated together, I began fantasizing about running my hands all over his naked body, especially running my fingers through the tiny hairs on his ass, which I began to call his peach fuzz.



His short, fat cock was just one part of his body that I craved. I wanted to touch and put my mouth all over his wonderful body.



John moaned softly and shifted slightly in his sleep. His cock jumped but he remained hard ad asleep.



I bent down and kissed his cock lovingly, feeling it jump several times in my hand as I kissed it wetly. John parted his lips and moaned.



My hand began caressing his balls as I continued to kiss his cock all over.



I had given my dad two blowjobs in the past 24 hours but I had no idea how to properly please a guy with my mouth. I wanted to give John a good blowjob and make him feel better than he had ever felt before but I worried that he would wake up or that my inexperience would cause me to just frustrate him sexually.



I had read in an article in Forum Magazine that many girls didn’t know how to give a good blowjob and they just frustrated men instead of pleasing them. I learned through articles in the magazine that there was such a thing as giving a bad blowjob and that many men preferred no blowjob at all to getting a bad blowjob.



I didn’t want to give John a bad blowjob and alienate him. I not only wanted to please him now but wanted to learn how to give good head by practicing on him.



Of course, I would be mortified if he woke up and caught me giving him a blowjob, causing him to never want to see me ever again. I loved him too much to ever want that to happen.



John and I had often talked about our fantasies of sneaking into a girl’s bedroom at night and having our way with her sleeping body. The girl we chose to fantasize about changed from time to time but now that we had begun masturbating together, we commonly chose the same girl. Our tastes were that similar.



Neither of us ever talked about doing it to one another, though. The more we masturbated together in the woods, the more I fantasized and wanted my best friend.



I had told him tonight how I felt about him but he was asleep and his sweet ass was making my cock feel so good, so confessing my desire and love to him while he was sleeping was easy for me. He would never really know. I was way too shy and too embarrassed to admit my homosexual feelings for him.



It was one thing to be sexually attracted to another guy as a secret fantasy. It was quite another to actually be in love with another guy as I had admitted to myself tonight.



It was true. I was in love with John. The more time I spent with him with and without our clothes on made my love for him even stronger.



I had never had these feelings for another guy. I had deep crushes on a few girls at school but never for a guy. Until now.



Of course, my fantasy of him being in love with me as well was just that, a fantasy. It was very likely that if he ever found out how I felt about him, he’d never speak to me again.



He smelled so very good to me. I couldn’t quite think of the scent of the soap he used but it was wonderful. Mixed with his musky scent, it turned me on. Until my dad shoved his cock into my face 24 hours ago, I never knew what a man’s scent was like. My nose had never been close enough to my own crotch and certainly never close to another guy’s crotch.



John’s scent was intoxicating to me. I never wanted to move my face away from his cock. I lay there, touching his cock lightly and running my lips all over his beautiful cock, giving him lots of wet kisses of love, just as I’d fantasized ever since I first saw John with an erection.



Looking up at his face in the dimness of the room, I could tell that I was making him feel good with my lips. I moved my lips downward to his balls and inhaled his scent, making my own cock twitch.



I kissed his balls lightly for several minutes. Once again, his fat cock jumped in my hand as I lavished wet kisses all over his balls.



Suddenly, I remembered what it felt like to have my dad’s tongue probing the spot beneath my balls and my ass. I spread John’s legs gently, careful not to awaken him and lowered my head. I placed my tongue beneath his balls and probed, causing John to clench his ass and moan out loud. I froze suddenly, thinking that I may have woken him up but his eyes were still closed. So, I probed him some more with my tongue, slowly trying to put my tongue between his ass cheeks.



I realized that with him on his back, reaching his asshole with my tongue would be impossible so I raised my tongue to just beneath his balls again and began to lick him, causing him to moan again.



I’ll just have to lick his ass later after he confesses to me that he wants me too.



It was easy for me to lie to myself like that as the possibility of John ever having sex with me when he was wake was very small.



Having my face just below his balls allowed me to smell his scent better than any other place on my friend’s naked body. I loved his scent and I loved the way he reacted to my tongue.



After about ten minutes of licking him, I moved my tongue up and all over his balls then up and down the underside of his thick cock. I lathered his thick cock with plenty of saliva as I licked him.



I knew that I’d have to masturbate to get relief for myself after pleasing John but I was OK with that. My only objective tonight was to please my best friend and give him something he’d never experienced before. I wasn’t about to give my dad any more sex tonight so masturbating was my only option.



I want tonight to be special, Johnny Boy, so that you search your entire life for the mouth that made you feel so good this one night.



I didn’t quite know what to do with my mouth to please him so I just kept giving his cock wet kisses and licking it. I expected him to cum after about 15 minutes but he didn’t.



I knew from earlier tonight that I could make him cum by putting pressure on his cock so I decided to squeeze his cock and I kissed and licked it.



His jumped wildly right after I started squeezing the base of his shaft. So, I licked faster.



My kisses turned into soft, wet caresses with my lips and that seemed to make him moan more.



I mouthed his cock like this, alternating with my tongue and within just a few minutes, he clenched his ass cheeks and cried out.



I was so surprised that I just put the head of his cock into my mouth, right as it begin to spurt hot, white, bitter jets of semen.



I grimaced at the taste, like I did with my dad’s cum but I was determined to taste and swallow every precious drop of his cum.



It only took about 30 seconds for his cock to start to go soft in my mouth and about a minute later, his cock was completely limp in my mouth and had stopped shooting semen into my mouth.



I licked up some semen that had spilled from my mouth and landed on his blond pubic hair.



I looked up at his face. He had a small smile on his face but was still sleeping.



While I had been working John over with my mouth, I was jacking off as well but not really concentrating on my own pleasure. But, now that I had tasted his cum, it was time to get my pleasure so I began jacking off faster now.



I brought up an image of his cock exploding with semen and kept it in my mind as I worked over my own cock with my hand then it was time.



I arched my back and began to cry out as my semen splashed against John’s hairy, blond chest. Wads of cum accumulated on his sexy chest and spread to his stomach.



Again, he did not wake up, even though I just now cried out with pleasure and soaked his chest with my hot cum.



I was amazed and delighted that I could show my love to him like this without ever telling him with words and never being rejected. I wouldn’t learn until much later in life that doing something sexual with someone while they slept was morally wrong. For now, I enjoyed my ignorant bliss.



After about ten minutes of enjoying the sight of my cum on his chest and feeling the mild after-effects of my orgasm, I got up and went into the bathroom. I returned with a warm, wet washcloth and cleaned the boy that I loved before drifting off to sleep finally.



**

8===> Storm clouds come with a silver lining



One thing we all quickly learned about Florida was, that especially during the summer months, you could expect at a minimum a short rain shower each day. Whether it was late morning, mid-afternoon, or early evening; some liquid sunshine was almost guaranteed daily. We had only been on the beach for less than an hour, when the daily thunder clouds moved in for a surprise mid-morning appearance. Grabbing our beach towels, mini cooler, frisbees, and tanning lotion bottles, we managed to make the dash across the sand to the motel before the sky opened up.



Once in the room, we dumped everything on the low profile dresser and opened the drapes to watch for when the weather moved on. We had been told sometimes it was only minutes and sometimes it lasted into the night…you just waited it out or changed plans. By the time the rain had been beating on the window for better than an hour, it was becoming painfully obvious that this one was socked in for the rest of the day. That fact was confirmed by the sky being dark in all directions and the weather report on the television.



“So what do we do now?” Trent finally asked. “I don’t feel like being trapped in here all day.”



“Me neither,” Ethan added. He was sitting on the bed scrutinizing the collection of tourist attraction folders he had acquired from the lobby display when we checked in. “Maybe we could hit a museum or drive down to Cape Canaveral?”



Greg and I were sitting at the little round table next to the window. I looked out and then rolled my eyes at the idea of going out in this weather at all. He looked up from the game of solitaire he was playing and quietly offered to me with a wink, “Or we could get rid of them and play strip poker.” I laughed but nodded my head at the idea.



I announced my decision with, “You guys go if you want, but I think I would rather just hang out here and veg to be honest.”



“Me too,” Greg chimed in with. “Maybe order a pizza and find some flicks to watch.”



“What a couple of party animals you two are,” Trent teased. “Maybe if you guys hadn’t been up and running around half the night, doing God knows what, you would have a little more energy.” The smirking look he gave me made me wonder just what all he was really imagining. Turning back to Ethan he added, “Let’s find something fun to do and let those two find a couple of blue-haired ladies to play bridge with.”



“Fuck you,” I joked along with flipping Trent the bird. I felt Greg’s foot brush up against mine along with a grin on his face that said the same thing I was thinking: With any luck, we would be ending up with the room to ourselves soon.



After a few minutes of discussion over the travel folders, Trent and Ethan decided on the Daytona 500 museum and were immediately changing into street clothes for the excursion. Trent announced as he laced up his sneaks, “We will probably be there all afternoon. Sure you guys won’t get bored being here all alone?” Once again, he gave me a sly smirk that I wasn’t certain how to interpret.



“We’ll find something to occupy us,” Greg answered. Along with his comment, his bare toes from both feet trapped the ankle of my left leg and slid up and down the bottom part of my calf in a motion duplicating his hands on our cocks from the night before. The smirk on his face needed no interpretation.



Thankfully our positions at the table hid everything that was going on under it. I boned in a heartbeat and snaked my free foot up to Greg’s thigh in a hopeless attempt at wedging a toe inside the leg opening of his board shorts. “We will be fine, Trent,” I managed to gasp out; hopefully without sounding like I was in heat.



Without any further attempt at getting us to go along, Trent joined Ethan who was already anxiously waiting at the door. “Guess we will see you around dinnertime then. Have fun,” was his parting comment, but it came with a final smirk and a wink also as he stepped over the threshold and pulled the door closed behind him.



* * * * *



The room had abruptly filled with a strange stillness after the door clicked shut. Only the soft background noise from the TV was in the air as Greg and I stared at each other across the small table. The very thing we had wanted…hours of privacy alone…were suddenly ours and neither of us seemed to know how to proceed. I eventually broke the silence with, “So, you wanna order a pizza and eat first or what?”



Greg grinned and stood without speaking. He walked to the door, took the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign and hung it on the outside knob, and then slipped the security chain in place after double checking that the door was locked. When he got back to the chair I was sitting in, he leaned down and finally answered, “I think ‘or what’ first sounds like a very good way to work up an appetite.” His hand went to the bulge in my swim suit and squeezed as he added, “Sound good to you, Kevin?”



My hand worked up into the leg opening of his boardies and cupped the dangling balls it found. “Yeah and maybe finish what we really couldn’t last night?” I queried with hope and a large grin as I rubbed his juice makers.



“We started a couple of things I want to finish if you do too,” he shot back before pulling me up to my feet and folding me into an embrace. “Starting with this,” came next as his mouth moved in to meet mine.



The tentative kiss quickly turned passionate as I opened my lips to his probing tongue tip. My hands began running up and down his back and our hips started to grind together in lust. Greg’s hands slid down inside the back of my swim trunks and massaged my butt cheeks. I started to push his board shorts down while still sucking on his tongue like I had wanted to on the pool deck last night. I felt his fingers tugging at the waistband of my suit forcing it down when he inhaled my tongue into his mouth. We were still in the same embrace and lip lock when we kicked the swimsuits from our ankles and shuffled as one to the bed. We only broke off the long kiss when we fell onto the soft mattress. “Why didn’t you kiss me that way last night?” I asked as we cuddled up naked together.



“I wasn’t sure you wanted me to go that far, Kevin,” was all he said.



“We had just had each other’s cocks in our mouths…why worry about a kiss?” I answered with a snicker.



“Yeah…and speaking of that…”



It was all that was said before I was flipped to my back and Greg repositioned himself between my legs. He looked up across my torso, grinned, and then licked his lips as he held my dick straight up. I smiled back at him and pushed my hips up towards his face. “Suck me again like you did last night,” I pleaded.



“No…it will be better than last night,” he countered just before munching down on my mushroom. For the next five minutes, I watched intently as Greg’s mouth worked me with enthusiasm and a natural talent that made me moan on almost every slurp he took of my shaft.



I finally tapped him on the shoulder and stated, “What about my turn? Get that hot dick of yours up here so we can both enjoy this.”



Greg spit out my cock and stretched out beside me with a wide grin on his face. “If you insist, Kevin,” he joked as he waved his fleshy flagpole at me.



“You will be the one insisting on me not stopping in a few minutes,” I kidded back before leaning over his body. After seeing how large it really was, up close and in the daylight, I took a deep breath before beginning. My lips stretched over the helmet and my tongue teased his preeing slit. Over the next five minutes I was almost mercilessly slow by first casually chewing my way down his long, thick shaft, and then with my rhythmic bobbing on it. I used my hand to rub his nuts while I sucked him and the squirms and whimpers from him told me I was doing most everything right, so I was surprised when he pulled me off.



“Damn can you fuckin’ suck cock, Kevin! You have me almost ready to blow man,” was the explanation he gave before he took me in his arms and shoved his tongue back in my mouth. We stayed entwined together trading spit for several minutes, but the yearnings for more quickly returned. Greg’s only words were, “Let’s sixty-nine,” as he spun around in the bed again and took me back in his mouth without waiting for my agreement.



He didn’t really need it since his huge cock was now bouncing in the air about an inch from my lips. Like I was going to be able to ignore that temptation! I opened wide and took as much of it as I could without triggering my gag reflex too severely. It took no time at all for us to both have a good pace going that was being amplified by hip thrusts. That; along with hands caressing every inch of bare skin from the backs of our thighs, across ass cheeks, and up our backs; had us swiftly giving off the signs of pending eruptions. Just as I was ready to warn Greg how close I was, his knees pinned to my ears and his jabbing grew more pronounced. Deciding that and the increased furor of his mouth working me, meant he wanted to take this the whole way, I began humping his face harder and concentrated on bringing him off while still in me. When the near-simultaneous explosions ripped from our balls, our cries of pleasure were only barely muffled by the flesh and cum that was filling our mouths.



I was the one that made the next move after the final wads splashed over each of our tongues. A quick 180 spin in the bed had me face-to-face with Greg and I offered only “Off the fuckin’ uber chart, uber,” before pasting my mouth to his. We enveloped each other and spent the next couple of minutes making out and mixing our loads as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And at that moment, it was!



* * * * *



After a few minutes of cuddling and basking in the afterglow of satisfaction, the pillow talk turned to satisfying another need…food! Glancing over at the window, we could see the rain still beating against it. “Let’s just order a pizza,” Greg suggested.



“Fine with me. I sure don’t feel like getting dressed and going out in that shit.” I grinned and tacked on while fondling Greg’s wilted, but still very impressive cock, “In fact, I don’t wanna get dressed the rest of the day.” A quick phone call to the shop down the street was made and I was told it would be about 40 minutes for delivery. After hanging up, I crawled back in bed and snuggled up against his naked body.



“So, Kevin…was that really your first time too?” he asked with a combination of caution and confidence in his voice.



“Everything we have done this week has been my first time,” I answered. “Even though I was nervous as hell that first night when we jerked each other, what we have had since makes me so happy that you came along on the road trip. I needed to find someone like you.”



“I did too,” he responded softly as he draped his hand over my bare thigh. “I have had the feelings for so long, but been so afraid of saying it out loud…admitting….being…you know…being gay.”



The hesitations he made while getting that out reminded me all too much of my own internal fears I had fought with for several years. Now that the word was actually out in the open, I felt some of them come back but also felt a wave of relief. “I know what you mean, Greg. I have had a thing for guys as long as I can remember, but was scared to ever act on them,” I confessed.



“So you consider yourself gay too?”



I snickered and squeezed his cock. “Either that or the worst case of being curious that ever happened.” I leaned in and brushed my lips over his. “Jacking each other off and even the blow jobs are one thing, but damn Greg…I get hard as hell just kissing you. I think that says this is more than just a phase or experimenting.”



“Oh I think we have lots more ‘experimenting’ to do, Kevin,” he teased and then licked my lips with his tongue. “That is if you want to,” he added.



I smiled at him and took his jewels in my hand. “Do you?” I asked as I rolled his balls in my palm.



Greg looked down at his crotch and grinned. “Well you are boning me up again, so I guess the answer is a definite ‘yes’, Kevin.”



His hand had strayed from my thigh to my cock and the attention was creating a similar reaction in me. I moved my hand up to his still developing pecs and pinched a nipple. “We’ve only got about 20 minutes, you know,” I warned.



“Until the pizza gets here maybe. We have the rest of the afternoon and this is just good build up while we wait.” A large smile appeared on his face. “Plus I am enjoying just being with you and talking.”



* * * * *



For the next 15 minutes we had snuggled and teased and talked. Dreams and fears. Fantasies and serious plans. The immediacy of college in a few more weeks and the desire for someone to share life with afterwards. When the knock came at the door, we were still talking, naked and twisted together, and both with chubbies that weren’t going to magically vanish. Greg laughed and pushed me out of the bed. “You get it. You can hide yours easier than I can,” he declared with a great deal of truth.



I laughed back and quickly pulled on the board shorts laying on the floor and grabbed my wallet. I was still trying to adjust my obvious boner when I opened the door. The delivery guy was about our age and cute as hell. His eyes looked past me for a fleeting moment and then back to me. “Good number man. Total is $14.69 dude,” he stated along with a grin.



“My favorite one,” I replied with a snicker.



“Mine too,” came from behind me.



I turned my head and blushed as I saw Greg once again letting his exhibitionist fetish out…stretched out on the bed in all his naked glory with a giant smile on his face. Even from across the room, you couldn’t miss that damn big hard dick laying in his happy trail. I knew the pizza guy sure couldn’t have either. When I turned back to him, I noticed his eyes were checking the large lump tenting my swim suit. I handed him a $20 and said, “Keep the change. Thanks for coming out in this garbage weather, man.”



“No problem. Only wish I didn’t have three other deliveries in the car. You guys look like you could be a lot of fun.” The blatant statement was followed with, “Enjoy your pizza when you get around to it.” He added a grope to my crotch and a knowing wink before he spun on his heels and trotted off.



Greg was laughing his ass off when I sat the pizza box on the little round table next to the window. I jumped onto the bed and pinned my body to his. “You fucker! That stunt almost made me lose my hard on!”



“Doesn’t feel like it,” he teased as he humped his crotch up into mine.



I reached between us and squeezed his shaft. “I think you are hungry for something else right now,” I lustfully whispered before shoving my tongue in his mouth. My boardies got pushed down my thighs as we kissed passionately.



“Do you really wanna know what I’m hungry for?” he quizzed when I freed his lips.



“Special sauce that isn’t on the pizza?” I kidded back.



There was a slight hesitation and then, “Actually I was thinking maybe you could find a new place for that sausage of yours.” The grin on his face and sparkle in his eyes said he was being serious.



“You mean…” I let the rest of my supposition trail off wanting him to complete the sentence.



Greg’s hand wrapped around my cock and wedged it between his upper thighs. “Uh huh. I wanna find out what it feels like to have you in me, Kevin.”



Even without his thighs pinching tight on me, at that moment my cock became the hardest it had ever been. I kissed him tenderly and asked, “You sure, Greg?”



“Yeah I am. I want you to fuck my virgin ass, Kevin.” His thighs punctuated the plea with another firm squeeze on my trapped tool.



“But we don’t have any lube.”



“So use some spit and all the pre we are both leaking.”



“You are really sure?”



“Kevin…I am sure! Don’t talk me out of it! Fuck me!” The order came along with a smile and his long legs spreading wide.



I moved to my knees between them and looked down at my friend. As I rubbed the tip of my fat cock between his cheeks wondering if it would really fit, I thought back to the few times I had fingered myself while beating off. That would be the best way to start I decided. After soaking my index and middle fingers with spit, I pried his butt split apart and rubbed at his opening.



“Oh yeah…that’s it…get it good and wet and open it up some,” Greg moaned.



With that direction, I scooped up the puddle of pre above his pubes and smeared it on his puckering boy twat and took a cautious poke at his rosebud with a finger tip. It slipped in much easier than I expected. I dribbled some spit on the rest of my finger and pressed in a little deeper. He was so tight but also yielding to my probing.



Greg bit his upper lip and his hips raised a little. He gently shifted back and took the next inch of my finger all on his own. “Doing good, Kevin. Put in another one now,” he directed.



Instead of asking yet again if he was sure, I moved a second finger to his cave opening and pressed it through the ring. He flinched noticeably and I stopped; just letting both fingers lay inside him. “You OK, Greg?” I paused to ask.



“Yeaaaaah,” was all he answered before using his interior ass muscles to suck both invading digits in further. “More, Kevin,” was the newest demand.



After some wiggling from his ass and my fingers, I was soon in knuckle deep with both fingers. I took up a slow thrusting and leaned over him. “I don’t want to hurt you, Greg,” I whispered to his face.



He grinned at me and raised his head enough to give me kiss on the nose. “Don’t worry babe…you aren’t and won’t. Just another minute or two of what you are doing and then I want the real thing.” The expression on his face was one of pure pleasure.



I worked my fingers back and forth for several more minutes and then decided that his continuous squirming and moans were my go-ahead sign. I pushed his legs high, snugged up to his balls with my cock, and just as soon as I pulled my fingers free, I pinned the tip of it to his entrance. “Hope you are ready cause I sure am,” I announced at the same time I jammed forward enough to pierce him with the head.



Greg shuddered but also cried out, “OH HELL YEAH!” as his rosebud bloomed open for me. He grabbed his erection and started taking strokes as he looked up at me. “Give me a little more now,” he commanded.



“I’m gonna give you as much as you let me take,” I countered with as I pushed another couple of inches in. I was so worked up that I wanted to slam the last few inches in too, but fought the desire for fear of hurting him.



“Take all you want, cause I want it all!” The words were accompanied by a backwards hump from Greg’s butt that swallowed up most of the rest of me. “Now show me what a good fuck you are, stud,” preceded the clenching of his ass on my cock. “Give it to me good and screw the cum out of my balls for me,” followed.



The dirty talk spilling from Greg’s mouth was turning me on almost as much as the physical act was doing. I joined in with, “Oh I am gonna fuck you even better than you can imagine, baby,” flew from my lips. I leaned over his torso again and stared into his eyes. “Fuck you SO good that you will never want anyone else,” I promised as I covered his mouth with mine and increased the tempo of my hip motions.



Greg sucked my tongue into his mouth and chewed on it as his hand began working himself faster. Our hip thrusting kept meshing perfectly and even though we had gotten off just over an hour earlier, I soon felt that happy tingle in my nuts. I pulled my tongue free and murmured, “Getting so close, man.”



“Me. Too. But. Keep. Going,” was the reply said with short, forced breaths.



As I raised back up to my knees, Greg’s legs circled my waist and his ankles locked behind me. His fist continued to yank with fury on his huge cock as he stared into my eyes. My hands fixed on his knees as I began slamming even harder into him. My balls were spanking his ass on every drive now. “I wanna see you splatter your own face with that load,” I challenged.

~~~Jameen~~~



Glacial drops of water rained onto my head from the ceiling of my cavern cell. The rhythmic spattering keeping me focused while searing pain coursed through my body. My daily ritual of flexing my fingers and gritting my teeth did nothing to abate this hellish torture that attempted to split my soul in two. No, it only got worse. So much so, that the groans I had promised myself I would never give ‘them’ the chance to hear; finally left my throat.



The guttural sounds echoed off the walls of this cave-like prison, signaling I had finally given them what they wanted, which I was sure was my complete and utter despair. Every day the separation grew more intense, leaving me weaker, powerless, a failure to my people, and to my love. I rotted away in this dank, shadowy cave, year after year; I became less of a person and more of a body in which they took from. My captors, Lygos and his mistress, of whom I called the Cloak, were the epitome of devilry, nothing more than mindless whores for power.



In the beginning of my stay here, I had tried to escape, using what power I had left after the initial attack against me, to try and flee my confines. But in the end, it was of no use, and I learned that their black magic was stronger in numbers against me. There were no plans to flee anymore, no one was coming to my rescue, and little by little I lost my faith in the Great Mother. Why would she allow this to be? Why would she let my Jillian die? Why would she never let me know the boy that was my own flesh and blood?



The Mother was everything to the world, but suddenly, she became nothing to me. This great and powerful deity, that held every scrap of life in her ancient hands, made no move to help her own child. I had been her warrior, a protector and provider for her people, my heart and soul were with her always, and yet she denied me now. As a warrior, I had been dignified and proud, but now I was hopeless and nothing more than skin and bones. The tears fell and the last of my manhood slipped into the dark void where my heart used to be.



Weeping was beneath what came from me as the pain stopped. I broke apart screaming and writhing, my wrists were raw from the animalistic thrashing. I felt my Jillian’s soul begin to leave this earth, lost to me forever. The mist infused manacles clanked violently away from the rock wall and I howled at the shadowy barrier that sealed this end of the cavern.



Where are you Great One? Why have you forsaken me! I fell to my knees, threw back my head, and screamed the cry of a lost soul. Just kill me! Please! I begged for her to answer me, whisper in my ear, or send me a sign that this was all a mistake. What have I done to deserve this life? A warm breeze stole my hoarse cries, settling around me with the strangest sense of security.



My eyes widened and I whipped my head around the dim earthy room, looking for something out of place. Surely after all this time, it could not be her. The warmth grew stronger, relaxing my shaking body until I was leaning back against the wall.



“Are you there?” I breathed, afraid of what I would hear.



Small footprints appeared in the earth, walking towards me. I held my breath and clutched my knees to my chest. The imprints on the dirty cave floor stopped at my toes. Warm air, in the form of invisible fingers, ran down my cheek and over my drying tears.



A chilling whisper came next to my ear, “Never question the creator of the grass and the sun. Never ponder whether your Mother loves you and watches over you. Your pain is my pain, your heart is my heart, and I carry it with me always. To walk the earth is a gift of which I have given you and I make no mistakes. Things must happen for a reason my child, even if the journey to your answers is a burden you don’t think you can bare. Have faith in yourself and you shall have faith in me. Show me my warrior and I will give you her light.”



“What does that mean?” I answered frantically, searching the air for her with my aching fingers.



Something like a kiss was pressed between my eyes, a heated tingle left on my skin. Be strong my son. All the heat that had built within my confines vanished, replaced with the dreary cold yet again. I flinched at the abrupt change and the footfalls of heavy boots nearing. Taking a deep breath, I stretched, cracking my spine, and rolling my neck. I remained on the floor with my legs in front of me, letting my arms hang at my sides.



The wall of mist parted, creating an opening for Lygos and his cloaked consort. He studied me for a few moments as I looked into the black slits of his eyes. I had seen some Fae that would be considered comparable to a nightmare, but never had I seen a being so ugly. Lygos was completely hairless, his face nothing more than skin pulled tight over ill-sculpted bone. His cheeks were hollow with a flat swine reminiscent nose centering his face. In short he was disgusting, and when he pulled his chapped lips back, showcasing his decaying teeth with a grin, my stomach rolled, the non-existent contents threatening to come up.



“This is rich,” Lygos bellowed, the sound vibrating around the flesh of his pudgy belly.



“The Prince of Fae with tears running down his cheeks like a fucking babe. What happened to…What was it darling?” He turned with a smile to the darkness behind him.



“Oh, yes I remember now. ‘You’ll never break me, you pig faced bastard’,” Lygos ended with a wicked cackle. “What do you say now little babe?” The ogre of a man crouched to my eye level, his leather pants squeaking under his displaced weight.



“Do you remember what I said when I first brought you here, Jameen of Fae?” He cocked his head waiting for my reply, but I didn’t answer him.



“Let me refresh your memory then. I believe I said that when I broke you, I would show you the torment you caused me when you killed my sister,” He licked his grimy teeth.



I couldn’t stand him or his accusations any longer and I jumped at him, landing on my feet in a crouch like a feral cat. Maybe I had no power and I was of a human standard at this point, but I couldn’t give in to him…I just couldn’t. My body was on fire, the countless beatings and daily surges of ‘separation anxiety’ having taken their toll. I stood fast though, never flinching as he brought his face within inches of mine.



“Your sister was greedy. Although her death was not by my hand, I am not sorry for what my people did to her. She abused her gift for power, not to protect those weaker than her. The shadows are created of the darkness, but with the right person, and a pure heart, they can be tamed. She was never going to change and the Fae court knew that. She would never be that right person. Her mind was set on the destruction of my people and I could not stand at her side a minute longer. I hated her and even still, I hate her now…” I seethed.



He slapped me with the back of his hand and blood filled my mouth. I spit it out and hissed like the animal I had become. We stood off, my chains still binding me to the wall, with only the slightest bit of slack to work with.



“Enough,” Cloak’s raspy voice haunted our ears. She was in glamour. That much I knew to be true. Her voice was not the one she was born with, but then again nothing about her was all that met the eye. Even though I was powerless, I still recognized her as Fae, and more importantly a traitor to our kind.



Thick yards of folded velvet flowed across the floor, the slithering sound as she crossed the dirt made me shudder. Her covering was equivalent to something out of a gothic fairy tale, dark greens fading into black, and shimmering like a snake as she passed the lone torch in my cell. The train of her hooded cloak splayed around her small figure, making the garment all the more eerie. One would have the impression that if the hood was pulled off, the face of darkness itself would stare back at you.



Crimson painted lips were visible as she motioned Lygos away from me, “You are so broken little one.” A lone, onyx lacquered nail scraped gently down my jaw. “And now that you have given up, I have my way into your mind and body.”



What is she talking about? My eyes were questioning and she noticed, grasping my chin in her painted clutches, and turning me to face her, “I will remember this moment for the rest of my days. When I sit on the throne of Fae and watch you all suffer at my feet, I will remember this look on your face with joy in my heart.”



With her free hand, she pulled the hood back, letting her glamour slip away. NO! This isn’t real, she’s…It can’t be…



“Traitor…” I whispered in shock, all this time, it was her.



“You cannot be a traitor to someone you never served,” She laughed, her voice smooth now, melodic even.



Skeenji…” It was the only word that I could think of. That’s why they had waited all this time, not to kill me, or use my powers, but to use my body as a puppet and gain access into Fae under their control. This was bad, worse than anything I could have imagined.



“At least you have some intelligence left over after all these years. Now, look into my eyes Jameen…” Her voice soft and inviting, her hands cupped either side of my face.



“No, please,” It was the last thing I remembered saying of my own accord, before she took over my body, and I was left to cower in the dark, within the farthest corner of my mind.



~~~Vendish~~~



Jordan was growling in my arms, his back arched with his nails digging into my sides. The sharp pain was nothing to me, my concern for my beloved superseding all else around me. I held him around the waist, keeping his thrashing to a minimum, while his growling turned to small whimpers.



“Hold on my love,” I begged, clutching him to me while lifting his weight to stand.



“Vendish! What are you doing?” Kimella shrieked, still put off by the shadows. I did not care for her sudden prejudice or her nearness. She was becoming more of an irritation than anything. Lucy wiped her eyes on her arm. She took a deep breath and pushed her mother out of the room, slamming the door in her face.



“Tell me what you need my Lord,” She bowed slightly and I nodded.



“I think the water will help him some. While I tend to him, have Rosie make something to eat, and make sure that the King and the other leaders are taken care of when they arrive. Call in others of the court if you need any help. For now, I want no one in this room, not even Guardwin himself. Am I clear Luciana?” I narrowed my eyes and Jordan groaned, the shadows moving down his face to his chest. Hang on my Telija, please…



“Yes, my Lord,” Lucy lifted her head from a short bow. “Please take care of him. We may not get a long all the time, but he is my best friend, and like a brother to me.”



“He is my mate Luciana, I will care for him the best I know how, for he is the most precious thing in the world to me,” I spared her not another word and took my love into the bath room.



Prismatic glass shimmered from above as the last of the fading sun swept over the horizon. My bath was large enough to be considered a small pool, with natural stone and crystals forming the basin. Water filled into the bath the moment I set Jordan onto the floor, his powers subconsciously being called forth. I ripped his wet clothing from his body, gasping at the sight before me.



While his body was smooth and perfect, that was not the reason for my shock. The shadows formed on his skin, stilling their movements into thick tribal patterns around his arms and chest. Vibrant blue vines twisted in between each ribbon of black before finally stopping altogether. Jordan’s eyes faded from black to teal, his body going limp under my fingers.



I was quickly becoming a mess, watching his transformation into something unknown. There wasn’t much I could do for him, except to stay near and comfort him. I know he needed me as much as I needed him, and my thoughts were confirmed when his thin fingers brushed my hand, searching for me. Bending down, I laid a kiss upon his brow, smoothing his damp hair away from his face.



“If you can hear me Jordan, I’m just going to remove these wet clothes, and put you in the water. Don’t try and move alright?” His fingers reached towards my face and I cupped his hand with mine.



“Everything is going to be alright, don’t worry my Telija.” The bath had filled and a light steam rose from the water.



I unbuckled Jordan’s belt and gently tugged his slacks down his legs, avoiding staring at his groin in his helpless state. He whimpered and tried to turn on his side, to hide his naked body from me in shame. Stroking his side in encouragement, I leaned down and whispered in his ear, “You are beautiful Jordan, but now is not the time for that. I just want to take care of you and put you in the bath. Please let me do this.”



My hand moved from his side, stroking over his belly in slow circles until finally he lay on his back. I smiled and pulled his soaking wet socks from his feet, tossing them into the corner, before moving back up to his briefs. Staring into his eyes to distract him, my fingers hooked into the band of material and pulled down.



Jordan swallowed and his bottom lip trembled, but he didn’t pull away. I sat back on my heels to pull the remaining garment off him completely, sighing at his new tattoos. What did this mean? Was he the master of the shadows now and if so, where was his staff? Meeka had a staff, but it disappeared when she died. Jordan tapped my hand, my train of thought lost.



Despite my stress over Jordan, I put on a mask that included a gentle smile to lift him under his back and knees. His body weighed nothing in my arms as I carried him a few feet to the bath. I placed him in the water and for the first time in what seemed an eternity, he sighed with relief. Jordan floated on the surface, like a leaf floated on a lake, and he seemed perfectly at ease. Even if he could speak at the moment, he didn’t. He just relaxed and let his body recover.



The water lapped at him soothingly while I began to strip out of my wet clothing. His eyes were shut, so I didn’t worry about his reaction to what I was doing. With my clothes around my feet, I took a deep breath and joined Jordan in the bath. He startled, swishing his arms around, teal eyes searching for the source of disturbance. I sat down in the water directly behind him and pulled him to me.



“Vendish?” He turned in my embrace, his eyed wide.



I smiled and cupped his face, “How are you feeling?” Jordan flustered, trying his hardest not to look down. Obviously he was conflicted with the fact that we were both entirely nude, but I on the other hand, had no problem with it whatsoever.



“I…um…don’t know,” His eyes roamed my bare chest, flicking back up to my face with a blush.



I grabbed his arm and raised it in front of his face, waiting for him to see his markings and maybe distract him in the process.



“What the hell?” His eyes bugged, making him look even more inhuman. He flipped his arm this way and that. Jordan raised his other arm, giving it the same treatment as the first.



“What is this Vendish? Oh my God, what’s happening to me?” The last words were muffled as he broke into tears and buried his face in my chest. “My mom is gone…She’s gone…”



My heart raced for him, not because he clung to me naked, but because he was so upset. I rocked him gently, watching the water around us start to rise in tiny beads. He had no idea what he was doing with the water, and I didn’t say anything, he would figure it out in time. The little droplets filled the air, attaching themselves to his skin like small kisses. They spread out along his body and connected, causing Jordan to sit up straight and gasp.



It was the last sound he made as the droplets covered his skin completely and he broke apart in a splash of liquid. I sat back and watched while Jordan turned into water with a smile. It was like a parent watching their wee one walk for the first time. He emerged from the bath whole once more, completely stunned and no longer crying.



“Okay whoever the fuck is up there you listen to me!” He shouted at the ceiling. “Just stop it! I can’t handle it anymore. I’m tired, I’m pissed off, and I’ve got black stripes growing on me, so if you could just lay the hell off for a while that would be great!” He turned to me, “Do I say amen or something?”



My lips drew tight to hold back the laugh I wanted to answer him with. I shook my head instead and he sighed heavily, falling back against me. He seemed to have gotten over our state of undress and nuzzled under my chin.



“Jordan, look at me…” I whispered into his ear. His ocean like eyes stared at me and I sighed at his beauty. “I want you to know that I am so sorry about your mother’s passing, that I am here for you in any way you need, and that together we will get through this.” I stroked a thumb over his lips.



He nodded, “You aren’t gonna leave me right? I mean you’ll help me with this?” He motioned at his arms and chest. I nodded and pulled him to me.



“It would take the destruction of the earth to keep me from you my Telija,” His face was inches from mine and he straddled my lap. “Like I said, I will help you in any way I can.”



“Will they go away, theses marks?” He asked and I shook my head.



“I think they are permanent, as are most Fae markings,” I kissed his forehead. “You should be proud to be marked. It is a great honor from the Mother herself.”



“I don’t think so Ven. When I was out, all I could feel was pain, like I was being burned alive. All I could think of was how angry I was, how he hurt her, and how she’s gone. Something inside of me is alive and it wants out. Tell me why the Mother of the earth would give me something so…evil.”



This was new territory for me. It was the first time that I did not possess a sure answer for him. With my education on Fae culture, I figured that I had the upper hand, enough information to keep him safe and share with him what he needed to know. And yet here I was, feeling helpless while he suffered.



I stroked his back, “May I be honest with you?”



“Please…” He gripped my shoulder, his face begging me.



“I’ve never seen markings like these in all my life or in any of our historical references. Jordan, I do not know what they mean exactly, but I do know that they are shadow based. When you were ‘transitioning’ shall we say, the shadows were dancing along your skin, so that much we can say for sure. What’s even stranger is that no one in your family has ever possessed them, actually no one since Meeka has ever controlled the shadows. Before her it had been thousands of years since anyone had heard of them.” I shook my head and looked away.



Jordan turned my face to meet his gaze, “Be straight with me Vendish, am I going to be evil now? Like Meeka? Will I lose control and hurt someone?”



My eyes narrowed and I pulled him flush with my chest, our groins pressed against one another, “You will never be evil my love. Your heart it too pure and the shadows can be controlled. I will not let you lose yourself within them. You are too precious to me to let go.”



Jordan trembled in my embrace, his lip quivered, and a tear slipped out of the corner of his eye. He laid his head on my shoulder and I just held him. He was so overwhelmed, it was all too much, and I cried inside that it had to be this way. No one should ever have to know a day like this.



“What about my Dad? What are they gonna do about him?” Jordan whispered.



Jamie was like a brother to me. We had been born but days apart, forever at each others side. In battle, in friendship, in life we were connected. Yet, now I was divided. Here was my mate, my best friend’s son, mourning because Jamie had left him, only to reappear and attack his own kind? No. Something was wrong, it had to be. Jameen would never hurt his sister. Never would he kill our men, who were his friends and family. It had to be a trick.

“Vendish?” Jordan sat up, his fingers slipping through the damp ends of my hair.



“They will find him Jordan. I don’t pretend to know what is going on, but my instincts lead me to believe, we have been fooled all along where your father is concerned. Do you believe after meeting Guardwin; that any son of his would just leave his mate behind? No. Jameen was a role model to our kind. He was a strong warrior yes, but his heart was bigger than any others. He longed to find his mate, to have wee ones of his own, and to think for a second that he would willingly walk away from all of that is insane.



He was my best friend Jordan. I knew him better than anyone alive and when he disappeared it took everything I had not to lose my mind. The first time I ever saw you, I broke down. You look so much like him, it’s eerie, even more so as a babe. Those big teal eyes stared at me and I wondered, why? Why would he leave something so precious, so beautiful that it makes my heart ache? The answer I believe we both know to be, is that he wouldn’t, not if he could help it.” I swallowed back tears.



“Then why has no one gone after him before? Why did you not try to find him Ven?” Jordan grit his teeth, his grief exhausting him thoroughly.



“We did try, year after year. We looked everywhere, sent scouts all over the world, but nothing ever turned up. It was as if he vanished,” I sighed, working the back of his neck in a gentle massage.



“He’s back though?” He looked uneasy and I couldn’t blame him.



“It would seem so” I brushed some hair off his neck, he needed to relax, he was so tense I could feel him about ready to snap. “Turn around, lean against me.”



He raised a brow, but did as I told him. His back melted into my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair, starting at his forehead and sweeping it back to his neck. I took my time, rubbing the pads of my fingers against his scalp, feeling his head wobble underneath my hands as his muscles began to ease.



I lowered my hands to his neck, kneading his muscles all the way down to his shoulders. His breathing was evening out, his head went back to lie under my chin, and he shut his eyes. I took great pride in the fact that I was comforting him, being able to take care of my mate as he should be. I bent my head to the side of his neck and kissed him slowly. My kiss was tender and sensual, not aggressive.



In his state, he was not ready for what a mating truly involved, but I would give him what he needed. He needed to be loved, to know that he was important, and that his pleasure gave me pleasure.



“Will you let me touch you Telija?” I brought my hand over his shoulder, gliding it down his chest.



Jordan stretched against me like a cat and bared his neck further, allowing me access to his delicious collarbone, “Yes.” It was barely a breath, but I heard his reply.



My other hand slipped around his slim waist, moving over every curve and inch of his stomach. It was flat and smooth, boyish, but not. His body was something to explore, he was a man yes, but I preferred his smaller figure to my more dominant one. Everything about him in my embrace fit perfectly as he was my other half.



His breath rushed out of him as both my hands stopped over his small pink nipples, teasing them with my larger fingers. I rubbed the hardened nubs in circles, leisurely deepening my touch into his skin until he whimpered. The water rippled as he rubbed against me, his backside working my lap intensively. Jordan had my member hard between his cheeks, trapping it between our warm bodies, surrounded by the water.



My palms lay flat, traveling to lower territory on his body, and bypassing his erection. I teased him just a little, sliding my hands up and down his thighs until he pouted with a huff. I chuckled giving his shoulder a soft kiss before he leaned back and settled down.



“I want to touch you there my love, but I don’t want you angry with me for taking advantage of your grief. Never would I do such a thing and I only want to help ease your pain. Mates enjoy close contact when they are upset, because it comforts them. Do you understand?”



His small hand grabbed my own off his leg, pressing onto his erection and squeezing. My palm now held him tightly and he sighed, ending in a shudder, “I won’t hate you Ven. I just…I need this right now okay? Just please…”



I kissed his neck, sucking lightly, while I started to stroke him. His member was perfect, the swollen head peaking out over my fist, disappearing as I pulled up. The tempo with my hand was unhurried, feeling him out for any sign of distress. Jordan just sat there, content and practically purring against my chest.



“Is this alright my love?” I murmured against his skin.



“So good…,” He spoke softly and surprised me by draping his open legs over mine, tilting his head back over my shoulder.



Squeezing gently, I twisted my hand around his shaft, quickening my pace a little. His chest began to rise and fall faster, his slender fingers digging into my arms. What’s more is his power started to manifest, the water around us glowing a clear blue with his rapture. I ground my own length into his slick backside, feeling him roll his hips back to me. He was close to bursting and was frenzied in his need for release. My own needs could be held off, because this was for my mate, for his comfort not mine.



He came with a wordless exclamation, his mouth formed in a perfect ‘o’. His eyes glittered with passion and his grip on my arms released, his hands falling into the water while tiny tremors ran their course. I rubbed Jordan’s arms, keeping him from slinking into the fading glow of water surrounding us.



Telija? Are you feeling better?” I asked after some minutes had ticked by.



“Yeah, thanks,” He ducked his face away from me and untangled his legs from mine. Rising out of the water, he almost tripped trying to get out the bath, in his hurry to get away from me. I will not deny that it hurt my heart. I had tried my best to make him comfortable around me, and had failed miserably.



He looked around and yanked a towel from the rack, wrapping it around himself, and fleeing from the bathroom. I sat there in the water, trying to think of what to do next, but every possible task escaped me. He didn’t want me. It was only this connection we shared causing him to do so. Yes, I understood his trauma and what today had been like for him, but I couldn’t shake this growing doubt inside of me.



Was there something wrong with me? Was I doing this mating incorrectly? I hung my head, watching my inky hair wisp through the water around me. Thinking of mates brought my Mother and Father to mind. They were the epitome of a perfect pair and I envied that with all my heart. I wanted to come home after my duties with the warriors to see Jordan waiting for me. I wanted to share in his growth as a Fae and be there to soothe his troubles away, but in this moment, I couldn’t see it.



Everything about our beginning had been horrible for him and I couldn’t blame him for not wanting a reminder of it. I was currently that reminder to him and I turned my head away from the open door to hide my unshed tears. I sighed and wiped my face, then got out of the bath. Drying myself I looked out the window, to see Fae Court Guards in place around the house. Guardwin and the others were most definitely here.



Jordan would not be up for their company tonight, but I might as well make an appearance. I needed to find out what else had happened and if there was anything I needed to do. I slipped on some black linen pants and a red tunic, slicking my hair back with a leather chord. Rummaging through my wardrobe, I came across a gold tunic that Jordan could wear to sleep in.



I walked into my bed chamber to find Jordan sitting at the table by the fire with Rosie holding a bowl out to him. Rosie, Mother bless her, was the head Dwarf of my household. Like all Dwarfs, she cared for the needs of all occupants of the house, not because they were made too, but because they loved too. It gave a Dwarf great pleasure to care for others and the entire species were very much appreciated and adored among the Fae.



Rosie tried again to push the bowl of soup across the table, her nose barely level with the wood slab. Her fiery red ringlets glinted next to the glowing hearth and her cerulean eyes shone with love for her newest house member. She was the definition of a mother hen and I bit back a smile when she put her hand on her hip and screwed up her button nose.



“Ya gots ta’ eat wee one, a full belly equals a happy heart,” She pushed the bowl back towards my mate, who slumped in his chair and pushed the bowl back to her.



“Oh thas’ it! Ya either eat it, or I feed ya me self. I’m not about to get blamed for ya starvin’ to death. What would ya mate say about that? Prolly throw me in a pit somewhere’s an let the Yukah feed on me bones. I like me bones, thank ya very much.” She narrowed her eyes, her loving sparkle still there, and pushed the bowl back to him.



“Fine,” Jordan sighed. He picked up the spoon and slowly dipped it in the bowl. My mate turned back to Rosie. “Are you really gonna stand there and watch me eat.”



“Every last bite,” She nodded and climbed onto the chair next to him. “So, I think ya wonderin’ what I am, yea?”



Jordan took a spoonful to his lips and closed his eyes, savoring the taste of Rosie’s legendary cooking. He opened his eyes with a small grin and nodded, “I guess I just thought you were a…um…little person?”



Rosie’s shrill laughter lit up the room, “Little person eh? Well that would be correct, but it ain’t all I am. I’m a Dwarf and the woman of the house. So if ya ever need a thing, you let me know.” She wiggled in her chair, sitting up proudly and I smiled, crossing my arms and leaning against the door.



“A Dwarf? So you’re not Fae then?” Jordan took another bite of soup.



“Of course I’m Fae, silly wee one. All of us here is Fae, there is just different kinds. To say you is Fae, is like saying you were human, many types of humans, but all human. Ya understand what I’m sayin?” She smoothed her colorful patchwork skirt.



“I think so. I remember Vendish saying something about there being twelve types of Fae,” He broke a piece of bread away from the loaf on the table.



“Aye, twelve in all, but a lot of mixed breeding and new lines…But that’s a conversation for another time. Eat ya food and we’ll get ya to bed. Ya look tired,” She patted his hand with her tiny one and hopped off her chair.



“Hey Rosie?” Jordan turned in his seat and I slipped against the wall just inside the bathroom.



“Yea?”



“Can I ask you something?” His voice was hushed.



“Anything wee one.”



“Do you think…I mean…Do you really believe he did it?” Jordan’s voice trembled and I palmed the wall to keep from running to him.



“Does me think ya Father a muderer?” Her tone was even. “No. I don’t.”



I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. At least I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. Jameen was a touchy subject to bring up in the Court and I kept my opinions to myself.



“Ya Father was a brilliant man. Kind and charitable he was, and never for a second have I thought he left because he wanted to.”



“Do you think he felt her go? I mean, did it hurt him?” Jordan started to cry, I could hear it in his voice, but I stood still because he needed to talk to her. Rosie was good like that; getting others to tell her things, and making them feel at ease.



“I have no doubt that ya Father felt every last second of her passin’. Mates are connected by the soul and when one is ripped away, the other knows it. He’s most likely mad with grief, but don’t let that make ya mind up about him. He’d never hurt us or you.”



“You need some sleep Jordan. Finish up and climb on in,” I heard the rustle of my heavy covers, followed by the clink of a spoon and bowl.



“Where’s Vendish?” Jordan asked.



I exhaled and grabbed the gold tunic off the counter, “Right here. I was just finishing up and finding you something to wear to bed. Here.” I approached the massive bed, sticking the garment out to him awkwardly.



“Uh thanks,” He gave me a funny look and slipped the tunic over his head, pulling the towel out from underneath. I turned away because he looked exsquisite in gold, and the blue embroidery brought out his eyes.



“It’s nothing. Rosie…would you mind staying with Jordan while I’m gone?” I eyed her and the tiny woman rolled her eyes.



“Not a problem Vendish, don’t be gone to long. It’s yamate’s first night and all,” She scowled at me, making me very aware of the scolding I would receive later.



“He’ll…uh…be fine,” I didn’t meet his eye, but I could see him slipping out of bed. “I have to go.”



Oh Mother! I wanted to touch him so badly, to hold him in our bed, to let him sleep cuddled against me. But the truth was, he was already stressed out, and he didn’t need me as much as I had hoped. I was doomed.



A hand startled me and I looked into questioning teal eyes, “Where are you going?”



I sighed, stepping a pace back from him, “I have things to attend to. The leaders are here and I am sure they’ll want a word with me.”



He frowned, noticing I distanced myself, and wrapped his arms around his chest, “Yeah sure. Whatever.”



“Okay! What is goin on now? Ya two are mates, not whiny little babes. You are not going anywhere,” She pointed a finger at me. “I’ll tell the King o’ Fae me self, that ya couldn’t make it. So sit ya arse down and get comfortable.” Her tiny hand patted the space on the other side of the bed from Jordan.



Only my closest of friends would ever dare talk to me like that, and Rosie was part of that group unfortunately. Well, maybe just in this moment it was unfortunate, for I had no escape from this awkward entrapment.



“Rosie, the King is waiting…” I tried and she rounded the bed and smacked my legs with a rag until I backed up onto the bed. Jordan started to laugh, the sound like a drug to me. I stared at him and still he giggled, until he too was propped against the intricately carved headboard.



“No more I say! Another peep Vendish and I will cut off ya hair while ya sleep. Ya understand ya foolish man?” Her accent thickening as she scolded me. I nodded, pulling the covers over my legs in protection. “Good. I’ll tell Guardwin that the both of ya’s was too tired to come to the table. Ah! Not a word…” She backed out of the room as I opened my mouth to respond.



She slammed the door shut and I heard her little boots run down the hall at full speed. For a small woman, she was eerily fast. I folded my hands in my lap and looked into the fire. I couldn’t look at him right now. I didn’t feel like being rejected in this moment. Suddenly I was not a man, a warrior, or a prince. No. I felt like I was a teenager waiting for the other boy to crush my heart and pull back from my first kiss in horror.



“What’s wrong with you? You’re acting weird…” Jordan whispered, he clutched the covers to him, almost as if he was embarrassed. Why would he be ashamed? I was the one who did something wrong. Didn’t I? Oh…What do I do?



“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was,” Finally I looked at him, only to see his face hidden in his hands, his knees drawn up. See? I couldn’t even say anything right! He just cried at the drop of a hat.



“I don’t know what to do for you Jordan…I am so sorry that I am not what you wanted, I am sorry that you have had the worst day of your life, and I guess tomorrow you will want to move in with Guardwin at the palace. I understand now…” Sucking in a deep breath, I moved off the bed and grabbed a small blanket from the side table.



“What?” He screeched and shot up to his knees, tears wet on his face. “You’re leaving me?”



“Isn’t that why you are so upset? Because I touched you in your time of need? I knew I shouldn’t have done it, oh Great Mother Jordan forgive me,” I dropped to my knees and cried. “I am a terrible person, I have failed you my Telija!”



He scrambled off the bed, his bare legs a blur as he shot towards me. Jordan landed with a thud on his knees in front of me, his arms locking around my neck as he crawled into my lap. “You can’t leave me, please. I’m sorry I ran out earlier. It’s just that I’m so lost here Ven. When you made me feel the way you did, it was so much. I thought I was going to explode out of my skin and it scared me to death how much I liked it. I felt guilty that there I was getting off with you when my mother just died. You did nothing wrong, it was me, it was all me.”



“Do you want to know what the worst part is?” He quivered in my lap, our eyes finally meeting. “After I thought about her death a little more, I wondered why I was so upset. Why am I mourning for someone that didn’t even want to look at me, or touch me, someone who acted like I was the plague? Sure she called and gave me the rare pat on the back, but it was just to survive. Aunt Kim was more of a mother to me, than my own ever was. I am the terrible person, not you, because I’m almost relieved that she’s done suffering. Never again will I have to look into her lifeless face and think…Is this all my fault? Does she even care that I’m here? Does she love me at all? So you see Vendish, it’s me you do want to be with. You deserve better than me…”



~~~Jordan~~~



I was going to be sick. He looked back at me with his unnatural green eyes and I just knew that he was going to reject me. How could he not? Here I was telling him that I’m pretty sure I was glad my Mother was dead and hoping there was a small part of him that wanted to still be my mate. Yeah right Jordan. Now you’re just fucking nuts. He probably had a perfect upbringing and would think all Mother’s were worthy of love. Mine though had had her very soul sucked away from her, resulting in the neglect of her own child.



It was selfish of me to say such things, but it was the way I felt, and people grieve in different ways. Honestly, I would be more upset if he told me to leave him, than about my Mother passing. This bond between us pulled me to him in ways that I couldn’t understand and I knew with certainty that if I left, I might as well just throw myself off a cliff. Love was not on the menu right now, there was no way I could commit myself with those words yet, but it was pretty clear we belonged together.



The fact that I had made the Prince of Fae cry, broke me inside, and I felt my new friends slithering to the surface. My skin was hot and my body shook, the emotions rising to the forefront. Maybe that was what triggered my other half, anger, or sadness…Something brought them out, and I needed to figure it out fast before I accidentally pulled some voodoo power out on Ven. That was the last thing I needed right now.



“You don’t want to leave?” He gulped, a large hand palming the small of my back.



Sweat broke out on my forehead and my hands ached to roam his body, to feel his heart beat so it would calm my own, “No. Please don’t go Ven. I need you here with me. I can’t do this on my own.”



Telija…” He pulled my face to his and kissed me. It wasn’t sweet or gentle. It was full of fire, sending heat throughout my entire body. Vendish pulled my body tight against his when I opened my mouth to let him in. His tongue lapped at mine, sucking it into his mouth, before letting me take over. I craved him something fierce, tasting him for all he was worth, letting his all natural sugary flavor roll across my taste buds. His hands gripped me harder, making sure I didn’t escape, while his mouth made love to mine.



My back felt cool, almost wet, a fine mist spraying from all directions, but I didn’t care about that now. My powers would have to wait, because Vendish was all I wanted in this moment. He made me feel better, my heart ached less, the void being filled with his arms around me. Someone cared for me, he cared so much, that he cried because he touched me. I made him feel like a failure, worthless, and it was time I made up for that. He had done nothing but guide me softly all day, taking into account all my needs, and protecting me from everything he could. I just wanted him near me, forever?

It was at this point that he pulled back, looking down at my brand new erection, and I blushed remembering I didn’t have anything under the linen shirt that hung to my knees,



“We should get you to bed.”



“Right,” I smirked. Surprising even myself, I reached up and kissed him softly, “Thank you.”



His mouth parted a little, his eyes shining with adoration, “No. Thank you.”



“Okay, no more mushy stuff right now. I just want to go to bed and pass out for the next twenty four hours,” I yawned.



Vendish smiled and pulled us up. He stood with me wrapped around his waist. His long strides had us bumped against the bed in no time, and he let me slide down his body until my feet hit the ground, “You are all wet again, as am I.”



“Sorry,” I dropped my gaze.



He lifted my chin with a finger, “There is nothing to be sorry about. It happens to all of us from time to time, although Rosie might not like the mess.” I looked to where we had been sitting and a large circular puddle caught my eye. Both of us were damp again and I shivered at how cold and irritating this was getting.



Vendish chuckled and turned around, “Take off the tunic and get in bed, I will not look I promise.”



“Are you serious? What are you five? You just gave me a hand job in the bath tub and you want to give me privacy?” I busted out laughing, “Ven, you can turn around.” I grinned and threw the wet tunic at his feet. He grumbled something and looked over his shoulder before stripping off his own tunic. I blushed and turned away, the sight of his hard golden body making want to eat him alive.



“Giving me privacy?” He chuckled and threw his pants at my head, pulling the covers over his legs and hips. “I’m just teasing you Jordan.”



“Sure you are,” I rolled my eyes and flopped back onto the bed. The sheets were soft against my skin, the covers nice and thick, as I burrowed within their warmth. I could definitely get used to this bed. The minute my head hit the silk covered pillow, my eyes began to drift shut.



“Sweet dreams my Telija,” Vendish’s heavy rumble came to my ear. His muscled form wrapped around my side, his thick arm went around my bare waist, and his long leg snuggled in between mine. I sighed. This is what heaven must feel like.



~~~~~~~



After yesterday, I had figured I already had seen the most shocking highlights of Fae. I was wrong. Rosie placed a bowl of what seemed to be oatmeal with fruit in front of me with a smile. Her wide blue eyes looked around the table with a warning glare at the others, who either shook their heads or snorted. Vendish sat to my side, darting his gaze around the table then back to me, measuring my reaction.



I kept my mouth shut, only opening it to stick a bite of breakfast inside. The leaders of Fae had spent the night, a ‘Fae slumber party’ apparently. Although, I doubted these particular Fae painted each other’s nails and braided their hair. The thought alone had me choking on my oatmeal. Vendish slapped my back, horror on his face.



Clearing my throat I waved him off and decided to end the big game of staring at each other, “So, I’m Jordan, as you probably already know. I figured I’d introduce myself, seeing as how none of you wanted to go first.”



Vendish’s eyes went wide. A small choked sound came from his mouth, “Jordan…” He hissed and I smiled.



“No, he’s right,” Guardwin mused with a twinkling eye, “I have been a terrible guest, my apologies wee one.” He nodded and I nodded back, was that what I supposed to do?



Vendish rubbed the spot between his eyes and his shoulders slumped. The poor guy was stressed out to his limit. Full blown exhaustion was fast approaching. Without even thinking, I stretched my arm and rubbed his back in small circles. Guardwin smiled wider, obviously pleased with my interaction with Ven. I rolled my eyes, turning to see Vendish leaned back against my hand, his eyes partially closed. Finally, the man started to relax…Hallelujah!



I wasn’t about to deal with this on my own and most certainly not with a giant stress ball at my side. The creature next to me leaned in and sniffed, causing me to practically jump into Ven’s lap. Vendish’s eyes snapped open, his hand shot out and grabbed the thing by the face, “Mine.” He growled and the creature blinked, pulling out of Ven’s harsh grasp.



“Forgive me Prince,” The creature’s hiss returned. “He smells so good, I could not resist. My intentions were not of harm. The Prince’s mate is safe amongst us.” He bowed his scaled head and I shuddered.



His scales were black, but when they caught the light, they shimmered with blues, greens, and purples. They were actually quite beautiful like the colors of a peacock, but in many tiny reflective pieces, almost like a mosaic. A giant lizard is what he really looked like, but in more of a human form. Black eyes blinked at me and I raised a brow, “Jordan.” I stuck my hand out.



He hesitated and I shot Ven a glare. Lizard man slowly extended his scaled fingers, his nails a shimmery silver, “Sena.” Our fingers connected and his skin was surprisingly smooth. I would have thought with all the scales his skin would be rougher, but that was not the case.



A small smile birthed on his face with tiny sharp teeth glowing white against his dark skin. I think he was pleased that I would touch him without fear. Maybe I made a friend after all. I gently took my hand back and he nodded. Guardwin cleared his throat and cocked his head at Ven, who when I turned to look at, was glaring like his eyes were weapons.



I slapped his chest playfully, causing him to look at me, “You good?” My irritation was quite evident.



“Yes,” He snapped his head back to the others and my eyes questioned Guardwin. He sighed heavily.



“I think we’ll get this over with then. You’ve met Sena, the leader of the Yukah. And this is…”



“Hold up! This guy is a Yukah?” I hitched a thumb in Sena’s direction, “The creature everyone is afraid of?”



Every being at the table stiffened, their eyes trained on Sena, “That’s ridiculous. I thought this lot was all like peace and love and blah fucking blah. Now you’re telling me that you’re eating breakfast with the source of your nightmares? That’s such bullshit. Look at your faces! I mean God, it’s a wonder you don’t have caution tape wrapped around him,” I shook my head in disgust. He might look like a lizard, but I could tell he was a lot more gentle mannered than everyone said.



“He is a monster!” A woman with long golden hair scooted out of her chair. “Just this fall he and his others ate a wee one wandering home from the palace.”



I stood, I had no idea why I had to defend this creature, but I did, “You look here Rapunzel , unless you actually saw him,” I nodded my head to Sena, “take a child and put it in his mouth, eat him whole, and spit out the bones….you’re full of shit. Did you ever think the kid went to the other side? Maybe got taken by a hunter.” Gasps filled the table.



“Maybe he found his mate in the mortal realm…”



“Yeah good lot that did your Father…Bloody doomed us all,” The giant of a man sitting next to Guardwin rose, his bare chest covered in dark hair, his face lined in a full beard, and his yellow eyes narrowed.



“Don’t you dare!” I roared and threw my bowl across the room. My temperature skyrocketed and my lungs felt like I was breathing fire. Everyone scraped their chairs and backed away from the table. “My Father loved my Mother you piece of shit. He didn’t have a choice…” The shadows wisped out from under my gauzy tunic, wrapping around my body like dancing arms of inky smoke.



Telija noooo!” Vendish pulled me to his chest, holding me tight, “Let it go, just breathe, and let it go. He didn’t mean it. He didn’t know…”



My teeth were clicked together tightly and I took deep inhales from my nose, letting them go slowly through my teeth. The shadows started to creep back under my shirt and my temperature went from blazing to hot.



Vendish brought both of us to the ground, rocking me back and forth until I started to breathe normally. I looked up to see Guardwin and Sena, kneeling in front me, both of them concerned. A rush of cool air engulfed me, Vendish’s hands splayed over my chest. The wind cooled my skin, taking my headache away, and I relaxed into his chest.



“Jordan? Can you hear me?” He whispered. I nodded my head.



“I’m fine. I’ll be okay… Can I have some water?” My throat was dry. My voice sounded hoarse.



Sena jumped to his feet and returned seconds later with a glass of cold water. I downed the contents and put the glass on the ground. Much better. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”



“Non-sense, don’t apologize. Brutus should have known better than to provoke you,” Guardwin shot an angry glare to the wolf man in the corner. The giant crossed his arms with a huff and turned away.



It was then that a searing pain shot through my wrist and I cried out, bringing my arm to my eyes. Everyone gathered around went wide eyed, as a black and blue pattern began to form like spun lace around my wrist. A roar filled my head. The sound of flapping wings flitted through my mind. Yellow eyes, fire, shadows…Make it stop! As abruptly as it began, the pain ceased, along with the evil slideshow.



“It cannot be, he is the….” Sena hissed, his black eyes searching the mark on my wrist.



Vendish’s large hand took my wrist, turning it over to get a better look. A large blue stone was delicately drawn onto my skin, intertwined with tiny black vines, overlapping over and over until it formed a tattooed bracelet.



“Jordan, this marking only means one thing.” I turned to look at him. “You have been deemed the Master of Shadows.”



~~~~~~



Lucy and Daega sat with me to the side of the stream. All the Fae were gathered in the woods to perform what they called the ‘Rahn Ji’, or the Death Celebration. Daega sat on my shoulder, her tiny fingers braiding a lock of my hair, her touch soothing. Lucy moved her feet back and forth in the cool rush of water, her silver eyes raking over me in concern.



“Are you gonna be okay Jordy?” Her hand squeezed mine.



“I don’t know Lu. Everything is happening so fast,” I murmured.



“After the ceremony things will be better. All Fae, even half, enjoy the festivities. It helps us gain closure and refreshes us for a new day.” Her fingers stroked my arm, over my tattoos, and down to my new marking before squeezing it in reassurance.



“I hope so. I need a break from my life,” I snorted.



“You are doing so well wee one. For all that has passed in such a short time, your strength shines,” Daega sang in my ear and I smiled.



“Yeah not to mention your loooovvveee….” Lucy teased and I batted her arm.



“Knock it off hoe!” I laughed and she busted out in a giggle.



“I’ve missed you,” She tackled me to the ground, her wings fluttering, as we wrestled. She gasped and fell into the water, sputtering her way back to the surface with a gasp. “Oh it’s on lover boy!”



“Better run Lu…” My best maniacal laugh was followed by water spraying from my fingers as I chased her through the trees, Daega soaring in and out of the tall oaks above us. It felt so good, to run and play, to be a kid for just a minute and take my mind off all that had happened. I smiled as other pixies giggled and zipped around us as if joining the game, their multicolored glows creating a rainbow of lights around the forest.



I caught Lucy by the shoulder, misting her with water. She laughed, “I’m it now, so start running Jordy!”



My feet took off, pounding the ground with the soft leather of my ankle boots. She started closing in, a light stream of water hitting me in the head, followed by her shrill giggle. I spotted Ven as I neared the stream again, a smile on his face. “Don’t let her catch me!” I laughed as I ran past him. He bellowed a chuckle and raised his hands just as Lucy sprayed water from her hands. The water turned to ice in mid air, as Ven’s wind wrapped around it.



“Hey!” She pouted, but kept on running. I peeked over my shoulder to see where Vendish was, but in doing so ran smack into someone. I fell on my ass and started to stand and apologize.



I glanced up as Lucy came to a halt next to me and gasped, “Oh Gran, I am so sorry! He didn’t see you there. It was an accident.”



The woman in front of me had ankle length black hair, a silver streak through the front, and silver eyes. A silky blue cape was tied around her neck. It moved in the breeze, giving you the briefest look at her slender bare feet.



“Will you be quiet Luciana? That pitch gives me a headache,” She relayed with distaste.



“I’m sorry Gran,” Lu bowed her head whispering.



“And you must be the half breed I keep hearing about, the reason why my Kimella abandoned her people,” She raised a brow and I swallowed. Oh, I did not like this broad.



“I think what Aunt Kim did was very compassionate. You should feel lucky to have such a caring daughter,” I replied, feeling familiar arms snake around my waist.



“That excuse for Fae is not my daughter. My son left her because he finally grew a pair and realized she was not of worth. Besides they weren’t Ghea, and thank the Mother for that,” She smiled.



“Well it’s nice to see you Rain,” Vendish rumbled.



She slid her gaze from toe to head and raised a brow, “You as well Prince. I see you have found your Ghea in another man.” She snorted, “Your mother will be pleased.” She laughed.



“Actually I’ve already spoken to her and she is over the moon, as is my Father,” I could hear the pride in his voice.



“Pity,” Rain clucked her tongue. “Come Luciana. Running around like a child is not becoming of a true lady.”



“But I just…” Lu hung her head.



“Did you just sass me girl?” Rain’s face twisted in hatred.



“No Gran, never,” She whispered.



“That’s what I thought.” Rain’s lips formed a smug smile, her silver eyes narrowed like a cat that caught its prey.



I had had enough of this bitch talking to my Lu like that, “Excuse me.” I snapped my fingers in her face to get her attention.



“Jordan…” Ven warned and grabbed my hand away from her shocked face.



“Why are you talking to her like that? What the hell is wrong with you people? She is not a dog. She is a person, a great and amazing person at that. If you don’t like her, then fuck off,” I shrugged out of Ven’s embrace and put my hands on my hips. Come on bitch, bring it on.



Her jaw dropped, “You filthy little mongrel! I should drown you where you stand for talking to me like that.” Her eyes went dark and she raised her hands.



“If you touch my mate…I will kill you.” Ven was between me and Cruella so fast, I hadn’t even seen him move. His hand was wrapped around her throat while her arms flailed to her sides. “Do you understand me water Fae? Kill you!”



He dropped her to the ground and grabbed me and Lucy by the arms, dragging us back to the crowd of Fae. No one seemed to care that Rain had just about lost her life. In fact, the others seemed smug about it. Well hell, who wouldn’t?



“Thanks,” I stroked his arm when we stopped just outside the large crowd gathered. He hugged Lu to his side and kissed her head, then did the same to me.



“Luciana is like the annoying little sister I never had and Rain is just a thorn in my side. I was more than happy to remove it for the time being, but you need to stop picking fights with the Leaders,” He warned.



“She’s a Leader?” I scoffed.



“Of the Water Fae no less,” He put a finger to my chest.



“Well hell…I didn’t know, but still she’s a…”



“And no more of that mouth. Great Mother, where did you learn to speak like that?”



Lucy laughed, “The humans are very creative! There was this one time I could hear him from his bedroom, he screamed…”



“Lucy!” I was going to throttle her.



“Okay okay, geez, I was just playing,” She bit her lip. No she wasn’t.



Vendish looked between us, shaking his head, “You two will be my death.”



Guardwin parted through the crowd, leading a gorgeous blonde towards us. Her hair hit just past her chest, falling in soft waves, and was pulled back one side with red and black roses. Small pieces of black netting poked out from the flowers, forming a dark yet beautiful headpiece. Her lips were painted crimson, accenting her porcelain skin, and sky blue eyes. She was slender, with curvy hips that were prominent in the red dress she wore.



Guardwin matched her, wearing black leather pants, and an open faced black tunic with red embroidery. The woman stopped when she was a few feet from us and covered her mouth, tears in her eyes.



“My baby!” She cried and ran to me, pulling my body into her arms.



“Orla! Give him a minute darling,” Guardwin tried to pull her off of me, but she wasn’t letting go.



“Oh my wee one, oh my little baby,” She cried and stroked my hair, kissing every available inch of skin on my face. Orla pulled back, her hands still gripping my shoulders.



“Jordan, this is your Grandmother Orla, the Queen of Fae,” Guardwin chuckled.



She too was youthful like Guardwin, but her eyes were wise and filled with things I had yet to experience. Tears rained down her fair skin. Finally I sighed and hugged her back. Why not? She was a match to Guardwin in every way, radiating that love and warmth that he held. She cooed in my ear, her slender arms going back to my hair, and holding me close.



“You are so beautiful, so handsome. I have imagined many times what you looked like and here you are; a vision in my eyes. There are no words to express how much I truly love you my Jordan…” Orla whispered and I squeezed her tight. Every time I heard those words it calmed my aching heart. Years of going without that simple phrase will do a number on your mind, and my new family was quickly making up for lost time.



She let go of me and Guardwin handed her a small white handkerchief, “Thank you darling. Look at me, such a mess. Forgive me Jordan, the last few days have been trying and to see you here now, just make’s it all worth it.” She dabbed at her eyes with the cloth.



“It’s alright. I don’t mind, honestly,” I smiled and she swooned.



“He is such a gentlemen Guard. He is so perfect. Our baby is home,” She kissed him and he laughed.



“Indeed he is my Queen,” He kissed the side of her neck tenderly and heat crept over her cheeks. “We need to get started though, the sun is setting, and they are about to start the fire.”



“Of course darling,” She wrapped Lu under her arm and kissed her head. Lucy radiated under Orla’s touch, getting the affection she deserved from her other Gran. Ven pulled me along and we followed them into the crowd. They had formed a circle around a large pile of wood that would be the bonfire.



Five people stood around the timber holding torches and waiting for the ceremony to begin. As sad as the reason for us being here was, I couldn’t help but be fascinated by it all. For the first time in my life, I felt a part of something, connected to the people that surrounded me. Then there was the guilt that weaseled in, telling me I should be upset that I was at my Mother’s funeral.



Ven seemed to sense my inner turmoil and hugged me close, kissing my cheek. I squeezed his arm that was slung around my chest and watched Guardwin and Orla step forward. Lucy and Kimella were standing next to us. Kimella hugged Lu close and they too watched.



“Creatures of Fae, we gather here tonight under the protection of the Mother, and the watch of the woods, to say good bye to our loved ones.” Every species began to kneel and I looked around, feeling Vendish push my shoulders down to kneel.



Guardwin continued, “Tonight we honor the souls that perished unto the darkness. Let the Mother take them into her arms and plant them unto the earth so that they may grow tall amongst the trees and watch over us eternally.” He nodded his head and the five men around the timber touched their torches to the bottom, starting the fire.

This series contains male-on-male relationships, some of which are incestuous. If you think this will offend you, please do not read any of the chapters in this series. If you are looking for stories that focus solely on sex, this series is not for you either since love plays a huge part in this series. Otherwise, please enjoy the series and leave a public comment, or send me a private one. I love hearing from my readers and any feedback is sincerely appreciated.



This chapter is for my favorite Serbian fan. Your friendship and support means the world to me.




********



“So what now?”



I laughed hysterically. “I love you, Cody.”



He grinned. “I love you too!”



As if hearing Cody’s exclamation woke him up from his deep slumber, Collin stirred and glanced over at us…and our naked bodies. He grinned. “So you guys finally fucked, huh?”



“No, but Nicolae sucked my cock, and I must say, I have never had a better orgasm.”



Collin laughed. “So tell…” I have no idea where that sentence was going because Collin stopped talking and suddenly frowned and started getting out of bed.



“What’s wrong?” I asked.



“Trey…something’s wrong,” he said, and left the room without another word.



“What the hell was that about?” I asked Cody.



“Remember what I told you last night about how I can sense when you are distressed?”



“Yeah.”



“Well Collin can sense when Trey is distressed too…it’s probably about how you just upped and left him.”



I had asked Trey if we could consider him and I boyfriends now and he laughed at me so I left because I was really pissed off and embarrassed.



“Hey, whose side are you on?!” I asked Cody.



“I will always be on your side…but I think you should have heard Trey out before storming out like that. I know Trey and he wouldn’t hurt you like that intentionally so there must be some sort of misunderstanding.”



“I guess but…” I couldn’t finish my sentence because the door suddenly burst open and Trey stepped in, wearing nothing but boxers. His whole body looked extremely tense and…hell, his muscles looked even more ripped than usual. I looked into his face, expecting to see anger…or jealousy now that I think about. I am naked in Cody’s bed with a naked Cody so he must know we fooled around.



I examined his face and found his face held a variety of emotions. Anger was definitely on his face, however I wouldn’t consider it to be the main emotion right now. I looked more closely and was surprised to find no jealousy as Trey looked at me. I found anger, relief, disappointment, love, even lust, but I found no envy…odd.



“There you are,” Trey said quietly.



“Trey, I…” and before I could register what happened, my body was hanging over Trey’s shoulder. He had bolted across the room and swept me over his shoulder as if I was as light as a feather.



Angry, I shouted, “Trey, what the hell!?”



“Shut up. You and I are going to have a little talk in your room.”



“Cody! Help me!” Cody looked shocked that I asked for his help, but he started getting off the bed to no doubt help me.



Collin entered the room. “Do not let Cody interfere. Keep him in here until I say otherwise,” Trey growled at Collin in a commanding voice and left the room with me draping over his shoulder.



Trey brought me into my room and shut the door with one of his legs before he plopped me onto my bed. I opened my mouth to start yelling at him but Trey pulled off his boxers in a swift move and climbed on top of me and I reached out to push him off of me but he grabbed me by my wrists and pinned my arms down. I tried breaking out of his hold but Trey was so damned strong. I couldn’t break out of his hold even if my life depended on it.



Giving up, I just leaned my head back on my pillow. When I relaxed in his grip, he leaned down and kissed me softly on my nose, then he kissed me gently on my lips. “I love you so much, Nicolae.”



He started kissing me gently on the check and continued kissing down my neck with more gentle kisses. “You don’t love me enough to be my boyfriend though.”



“Huh?”



I wanted to get up and leave, and his hold on my wrists had loosened up so I started to pull away. When Trey noticed the resistance, he pinned my wrists down with more force. “Hell no! There is no fucking way I am just going to let you leave like you did yesterday. Tell me what’s going on in your head.”



I felt tears in my eyes and felt them escape, and felt the warmth of my tears slide down my cheek. “Fuck Nicolae, what is wrong? You have to tell me! You can’t just run and hide!” Trey said, sounding panicked.



“What the hell do you think is wrong? I asked you yesterday if you and I were boyfriends and you laughed at me! If you don’t want to be boyfriends at least find a way to put it nicely instead of being an ass and laughing at me!” I sobbed as more tears came down my face. I fucking hate crying but I couldn’t hold my tears back despite how hard I tried.



“No, Nicky, my heart, my darling Nicky, you don’t understand! I didn’t laugh because I thought the thought of us being in a dating relationship was funny. I laughed because we are so far past the boyfriend part already. I consider you to be my soulmate, my other half. That is the most extreme relationship you could ever have with anyone! You are…everything to me. More than a boyfriend, or fiancé, or even a spouse. Downgrading our relationship to boyfriend status sounded absolutely ridiculous so I laughed. I am so sorry, my heart. It looked like we misunderstood each other.”



Well, I feel stupid now. I should have demanded for him to explain why he was laughing instead of just running and hiding. “I’m sorry, Trey.”



“I am sorry too.” He got off me and lifted me into his arms and held me. Being in his embrace was the most peaceful and best feeling in the world.



“I still owe you a blowjob.”



I laughed, remembering that Trey was going to suck my cock after I had asked him about the blowjob thing. Of course, there was the whole laughing miscommunication thing that prevented that from happening. “Just forget it about it. You don’t owe me anything.”



“Maybe I want to owe you a blowjob,” Trey said, and to my surprise he blushed.



I laughed some more. “So what you are saying is that you don’t want to suck my cock because you want to repay the favor I gave you…you know, the one where I sucked your cock and ate your ass, but you want to suck my cock because you simply want to suck my cock?”



“Yes,” Trey admitted, his flush becoming even redder.



“So you are a true cocksucker, huh? You like sucking my cock?”



“Yes, I like sucking your cock. Is that really such a big deal?”



I laughed some more. “I just thought you did it because you felt you owed me. I mean I could tell you were enjoying yourself while you sucked my dick but I thought it was because you liked hearing and feeling me get off on your cocksucking.”



“Well that is a big reason why I like sucking your dick but I’d be lying if I told you I only did it for your benefit.”



I leaned up and started kissing him. I slid my tongue into his mouth and he accepted my tongue into his mouth and our tongues did a dance. Then I retreated my tongue back into my mouth and it was his turn to send his tongue into my mouth and our tongues danced a little more. After a couple minutes, I pulled back.



“Okay…back to our conversation about how you like sucking dick.”



Trey rolled his eyes.



“We are both cocksuckers but there is a difference between you and me.”



“Besides you being better at it?”



“Well, I have to admit, you have gotten better at it in the past couple months…”



Trey grinned.



“But yes, besides me being better at it.”



“Then how are we different?”



“I like sucking cock more than any other sexual act. I like it more than fucking someone, being fucked by someone, eating someone’s ass, having my ass eaten, or having my own cock sucked. I even like it more than eating pussy.”



“Really?”



“Yeah.”



Trey laughed. “I can’t speak for the being fucked by someone since I have never done it before, but I wouldn’t say I like sucking dick better than the other stuff you mentioned…well, besides eating someone’s ass. I like sucking cock more than I like eating ass. But honestly, nothing feels better than your blowjobs, Nicolae.”



“So I take it you like having me eat your ass more than you like sucking cock?”



“Only a little bit more but yeah.”



I grinned. Trey moans when I eat his ass so if he enjoys receiving rimjobs that much and he said he likes rimjobs only a little bit more than sucking cock he must really enjoy sucking cock…almost to the point where he moans. It is always nice to learn something new about my best friend.



“So since you like having me eat your ass more than you like sucking my dick you wouldn’t be opposed to me giving you a rimjob?”



Trey laughed. “I guess that would be alright.”



“Then lie on the edge of the bed and bring your knees to your chest.”



He did as I instructed, arranging himself so the end of his back was on the very edge of the bed so that his ass was completely off the bed so it could be used for all my rimming glory. It was the most magnificent view of Trey’s ass. Without a doubt, the most perfect ass God has ever sculpted.



Trey laughed. “I remember the first time you looked at my ass like that…it was several years ago.”



My face flushed. “It was not!”



He laughed some more. “It most certainly was. My ass was probably the first thing that ever gave you a boner.”



“Bullshit. It was the second thing that gave me a boner,” I added with a blush.



He laughed. “See? You’ve been checking my ass out for years. I couldn’t count how many times I have seen you check my ass out these past several years…wait a minute. You said it was the second like you know what gave you your first boner. What caused your first boner?”



“You don’t want to know…trust me.”



He frowned, most likely figuring out what caused my first erection. “Figures…but I’m not going to ruin the moment with jealousy. Come and eat.”



I grinned and got on my knees in front of my meal. I reached out and stroked his ass cheeks delicately, loving the feel of his glutes. Knowing Trey would let me do almost whatever I wanted with his ass, I decided to admire his ass some more and I continued stroking it. I then took both hands and grabbed as much of both cheeks as I could, and continued doing so in different locations.



“Making up for all the times you wanted to cop a feel but didn’t?”



“If I was going to make up for all the times I wanted to cop a feel we would be doing this all month.”



Trey laughed and I took my index finger and traced it down his crack. I then grabbed his cheeks and pried them apart, which revealed his pink hole to me. To my surprise, Trey slid his hands over mine, which confused me until I figured out what his intentions were. I let go of his butt cheeks and he left his hands there to keep them pried open. I gave both of his hands a small kiss to show my appreciation then I slowly licked my way up his crack, along his pink hole, along his perineum, and finally his balls. I suckled on both balls for a few seconds then I went back to his pink hole and started licking it.



Trey groaned at the feel of my warm, wet tongue licking his asshole. I then put my index finger in mouth to get it wet then I slid it into Trey’s asshole.



“Ahhh! Nice warning, Nicolae, that hurt…oh…that feels good,” he said as I slowly slid my finger in and out of his ass. I withdrew my finger and forced my tongue in his ass.



“Oh fuck yeah! Tongue fuck me, Nicky!”



I tongue fucked him for a few minutes, enjoying the faint, indescribable taste of his ass. Trey moaned softly as I worked my tongue in and out of him. I removed my tongue and replaced it with two fingers, and slid my index finger and middle finger in and out of him.



“Ahh fuck, why does that feel good,” he asked.



“No, that doesn’t feel good…that feels okay…this feels good,” I said as I found his prostate and ruthlessly stimulated it with my fingers.



“Holy shit! That feels amazing! Aww fuck!”



“Are you ready for a third finger?”



“I don’t know…can you just keep doing what you are doing please?”



“I’ll keep doing this for two more minutes but after that I get to do whatever I want. Do we have a deal?”



“This feels too fucking good to pass up on it. Yes, we have a deal. Two more minutes of this and then you can slip a third finger in or do whatever else you had in mind.”



I grinned. This is too perfect. He might regret making that deal…hell, he probably would have never said yes to what I have in mind unless he had an obligation to fulfill…but I knew he would never break a deal.



“The timer doesn’t start until you actually start doing it…why do I have a feeling I am going to regret making a deal with you?”



“You mean making a deal to get this?” I asked, thrusting my fingers into his ass and finding his prostate. I saw the minute on my alarm clock turn so I knew when his two minutes were up.



“Aww fuck…never mind. It will be worth it no matter what you decide…”he groaned as I stroked his prostate.



For the next two minutes I continued sliding my two fingers in and out of Trey’s ass and occasionally spoiled his prostate with a few additional strokes. I looked up and noticed that two minutes passed so I withdrew my fingers from his ass.



“Damn it, Nicolae! That was not two minutes! I have another thirty seconds so put your fingers in my ass and fuck my prostate with them!”



“Whoa! Calm down, Trey! I’m not ripping you off, I promise. That was two minutes, I swear.”



“I’m a Mathematics Education major, Nicolae. I think that makes me better at math than you. I don’t argue with you about who was the best American poet in the Nineteenth Century because that is your area so why don’t you stop arguing with me in my area of expertise?”



I was a little offended that he thought I was trying to screw him over. I wouldn’t do that to him and he should know that…but what is another thirty seconds. I’ll pretend Trey is right and let him have the win on this.



“Okay Trey. I thought I would let you know that I would never screw you over so it was an honest mistake. Since it is an honest mistake, I will set the timer on my cell phone and give you another full minute. It will beep at me when time is up so we both know for sure when the time is up. Okay?”



Trey grinned. “An extra thirty seconds? Deal! Go get your phone!”



I did.



“Starting…now!” I said, pushing the button on my phone to start the timer and I slipped my two fingers back into Trey’s ass and started sliding them in and out and I stroked his prostate occasionally like I did earlier.



Trey moaned as I continued fingering him like this and I eventually heard the beep on the time but I decided to keep going. “Nicolae?” Trey asked.



“I know…but we can do this a little longer,” I said as I continued fingering him.



“Thanks,” Trey said in between moans. Another beep came from my phone, indicating that it was now two minutes, but I continued sliding my fingers in and out Trey while Trey moaned. The phone beeped again, and still I continued fingering him. Yet another beep came from my phone but I still didn’t want to take my fingers out of him to stop his pleasure. Finally, when the phone beeped again, I reluctantly pulled my fingers out.



“Five minutes on the timer when we agreed on just one…thanks,” Trey said in a voice that was deeper than his usual voice. “You gave me four extra minutes when you didn’t have to so I will not only keep my word but I will not complain about it even one single time. You’ve earned whatever you wanted to do.”



Thank God. I knew what I decided wasn’t going to go over well with Trey but giving him those extra minutes paid off. “I’ll be right back,” I said.



When I returned, Trey noticed the bottle of lube but didn’t say anything. He didn’t say anything as I placed some on my cock and he didn’t say anything when I placed some on his asshole. “Do you really have nothing to say? I think it is obvious what I plan to do.”



“You are obviously going to fuck me. We made a deal and I’m going to keep my word. I told you I wasn’t going to complain so I’m not going to. Just go easy on me, okay?”



“I will. It is going to hurt a little but the pain will go down. If I can take your extremely fat cock into my ass you should be able to take my cock that is only a little above average just fine. I know you are probably nervous and a little scared but relax.” He moved his knees away from his chest and rested his feet on the edge of the bed and moved his knees so they pointed towards the top corners of the walls. “That’s better. There is one thing I want you to know before I stick my cock in you.”



“And what is that?”



“It may not seem to you that you are going to enjoy this but based off everything that has happened in the last twenty minutes I know one thing.”



I positioned my cockhead at his anal entrance.



“What?”



“You are going to love this,” and I slowly penetrated his asshole with my cockhead. I saw his face wince but he didn’t say anything so I continued slowly pushing my cock into his warm, tight ass until my cock was all the way inside him and my balls were resting on his ass.



I just stayed where I was. Trey opened his eyes and looked into mine. “The worst is over,” I told him.



“Good, because that hurt,” he said. I leaned forward and ran my hand along his chest.



“How does it feel to have a cock in you?”



“Like a turkey that has a chef’s hand up its ass.”



I laughed. “I like the feel of having a cock in me. It makes me feel full and complete. It hurts like hell at first but it starts to feel pretty good.”



“I’m still waiting for that feeling good part.”



“You don’t hurt as much anymore, do you?”



“No…my ass is getting used to your girth surprisingly.”



“Do you remember the feeling you had a couple minutes ago when I was fingering?”



“Yes, that fucking felt amazing.”



“Do you want to feel something even better?”



“Of course.”



“Then ask me to fuck you.”



“Fine, if it that is what it takes to make the pain go away and make it feel like it did when you were fingering me I’ll say it. Fuck me.”



I slowly pulled my cock out of him until I just had the tip inside him, then I slowly thrust back in. I repeated this very slow fucking until I felt him relax a little bit…fuck, his asshole was choking my cock like a vise…his warm, tight ass feels even better than Rachel’s pussy.



I began fucking him a little harder, but not quite hard yet…hell, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to control myself for much longer. My cock is begging for more of his wonderful, tight ass and my balls want to unload in him, I don’t know how I’m going to not full on fuck him as hard as I can for much longer…but I kept my pace at a moderately slow pace…fuck my cock feels good now. I thrust my cock a little harder than I intended and it felt incredible…I could get used to this. Trey gave a groan of pleasure, which was the first sound I heard from him since he told me to fuck him. Sounds like I not only could get used this, but I in fact am going to get used to this based off the sound Trey made.



Okay, my cock, you heard Trey groan. You are going to fuck his ass plenty from now on so just be patient for now…am I really talking to my cock right now? I am going crazy apparently.



“How are you doing, Trey? Do you have much pain?”



“No, not much pain, I’m fine….it actually feels pretty good. Do you think you could fuck me a little harder? It will probably feel a little better if you do.”



“Did you ever think you would ever ask me to not only fuck you, but to fuck you harder?”



He laughed. “No, but why not? Fuck me harder, Nicolae? I can take it.”



“You mean like this?” I said, going from a moderately slow pace to a moderate pace.

Readers: Warning. This story takes a definite turn away from happy. Read at your own risk.



*



I woke up the following morning before my alarm clock went off feeling well rested.



I shouldn’t have been surprised really. The Fine Arts Presentation ended before nine, and Jesse’s mother wanted him to go directly home. Without any opportunity to be alone, especially under the gaze of his family, all he and I could do was speak in general terms. I offered my praise for the good work he’d done on stage in his drama presentations and dances. He thanked me for showing up, and even his eyes were silent lest he give any of his feelings away. There was some lingering curiosity from our fellow-students, but neither of us was inclined to further entertain them by displaying our affection publicly. Our stares across the parking lot spoke our regret for us, and then he was gone.



My dad’s house was… no surprise… dark. It was odd being home at this time of night with nothing to do, so I used the occasion to study for my upcoming finals. We seniors had to take them early due to next week’s graduation and all the end-of-year activities. Jesse sent me a good night text, and I went to bed early enough to get a full eight hours of sleep.



So here I was, awake and thinking about Jesse’s dance from last night and wondering if it was going to change my life here in Calberia. Should I worry or be happy about it? For once I had behaved fearlessly without worry over who knew or what the other students had seen or how it was interpreted. Also with Jesse’s family in the audience, it was as if he was announcing his intentions loud and clear to them, and I wished that courage could carry over so I would be able to proudly introduce him as my boyfriend to my family. But… just no.



Not for the first time I reflected how much easier my life would be if Jesse was female. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m glad he’s a man. I adore his lithe body with all its masculine parts as much as I appreciate how we can be dirty and nasty together. Two male friends who don’t have to worry about offending more sensitive ears with our jokes and bullshitting. I enjoy being with him as two men in love, but there’s no getting around the fact that if Jesse had been a girl I wouldn’t need to tiptoe around my father. And it was going to get worse before it got better.



I was in an almost impossible situation where, as my living arrangements stood now, I’d never be able to do anything other than hide my attraction for Jesse and skulk around to see him, all the while afraid of detection. At least Uncle Carl had added me as a full-time employee over the summer so leaving high school in a week would allow me to cram as many hours on his boats as I could get. Jesse was looking for work too, and I might even have to take on a second job to earn enough money to move out. That was the goal, but once college started in the fall, taking a full load of classes, playing football for the Hope Ranch team and working full time was going to be exhausting. Frankly, I couldn’t see how I’d manage, but in order to live openly with my boyfriend, I would have to find a way.



I arrived at school and very little seemed to have changed for Jesse and me, although we caught a few inquisitive glances. I think our classmates were waiting for us to take the first step, and that we didn’t made some of them second guess what they had witnessed at the FAP. Maybe, they rationalized, Jesse had actually been staring at one of the girls sitting behind me, not at me directly. Possibly my intense scrutiny was due to him being my best friend.



It was a quiet day… until I trotted into the parking lot after the bell rang to find Jesse leaning tensely against his Cherokee reading what looked suspiciously like another stalker note. He hadn’t even heard me approach and jumped when I put my hand out to take it from him. He listened sheepishly when I read out loud.



“Haf fun w/Ur faggot boy 4 now but Ur days are #’d.”



I felt myself go pale. Of the twelve or so threats that Jesse had received over the last four and a half months, this was the first one to ever mention me.



“He must have been at the FAP last night,” Jesse whispered in anguish. “He saw me sing to you and that’s why he’s dragging you into my problem now. I’m so sorry, Shane.”



I shook my head and resisted balling the note in my fist because all of them were evidence against this wacko asshole. “I don’t care about that, Baby. What I care about is getting this guy locked up or whatever it takes so he can’t bother you anymore.”



He didn’t answer me, and I pressed him. “Are you scared now?”



I looked into his pale brown eyes and saw it. He was frightened, but not for himself. For me. Good enough, I’d use it if he was finally willing to talk to someone in authority about the harassment.



“Let’s go see Mr. Peabody right now,” I suggested, knowing the principal was still in his office. “Get the ones out of your locker. I’ll back you up, okay?”



“I can’t today,” Jesse answered, taking the note back from me and folding it into his binder. “I promised my sister I’d come home right after school because she needs me to watch my nephew for a few hours. She has to go to Santa Barbara and buy a textbook for a summer class at the university she’s enrolled in.”



I sighed, hoping this wasn’t one of Jesse’s avoiding tactics again. “Can’t she postpone? This is important.”



Jesse paused in thought, and for a fraction of a second I actually believed he might do it. Then his face fell. “No, I don’t want to ask her to put it off. This can wait one more day.”



“Alright, but remember, you promised so we talk to him no later than tomorrow.”



He smiled, and I swear, the look he threw me was self-satisfied, like he’d once again bargained his way out of trouble. I didn’t want to snap at him and start another argument, but even scared about the threats, he wasn’t going to do anything about them unless I forced him. I was tired of it all. Mostly I was tired of being scared too.



Jesse and I had decided not to see each other that evening. Jenna, his sister, was known for changing plans at the last minute, especially if she had a willing babysitter for her son. Her errand of a few hours could magically expand into running into friends on campus and deciding to go out for dinner and a movie. As for me, it was one of the few nights when I didn’t know my father’s plans ahead of time, so he might arrive home right after work or he might spend the night with his girlfriend. Even if he hadn’t been my boyfriend, it wouldn’t be wise to have Jesse in the house alone with me should Dad bother to show up.



It was 7:30 and my mind was fully engaged in studying for a difficult 2nd period Trigonometry final I would be taking on Thursday, two days away. I had solid A’s in every subject except math where my grade was teetering between a B-/C+, and if I got a high score on the exam I might even get an A- because of the extra credit I’d slaved over for two hours after school.



My phone lit up with an incoming call, and of course it was Jesse. “Watcha doing?” he chirped.



“Cramming for my Trig final.” I stretched out the kinks in my back.



“Is your dad home?”



“Hmm, I’m not sure,” I answered, suddenly curious. I stepped into the hall and listened to silence as I made my way to the living room to peer through the blinds. Except for my Impala the driveway was empty.



“No. He must be with Jillian again.” Usually if my father wasn’t home by seven he wouldn’t be here at all.



“Why don’t I come over then and keep you company? Jenna got back an hour ago and I’m bored. Besides, we haven’t had a chance to spend any time together since last Friday.”



He was right about that. I’d worked all weekend for my uncle on the Sorsha Lynn, including a longer-than-usual charter up the Pacific coastline on Saturday where we didn’t put into port until almost nine o’clock. On Sunday he’d spent the evening with his family at some relative’s birthday party, and last night was the FAP. It had been four days since we’d made love.



Still, the day had been exhausting. I was tired and needed to study. “Not tonight, Jesse.”



“Ah, come on, Blondie. Just for a little while?”



We bickered back and forth while I tried to convince him how important the test was for me and why I needed so much study time for it. When we hung up I thought that was it. Fifteen minutes later I heard a knock on the front door at the same time that my phone buzzed again.



“It’s me outside,” Jesse crowed. “Let me in.”



Groaning inwardly I got up and opened the front door to find him lounging on the porch looking smug. “Hiya, Blondie. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to see you, so here I am.”



He tried to pull me into a hug and I stood there stiffly. To tell the truth, I was irritated that he wouldn’t take me seriously. He thought he could just come over when I specifically asked him to stay home.



Jesse pouted at me in fun. “Don’t tell me you’re mad,” he said, letting his voice drop seductively. He lifted his backpack off his shoulder. “See, I brought my books too. We can cram together.”



Yeah, like that was going to work. Except for the Brontë sisters project, every time we tried to get together to study, we ended up fucking or going down on each other. It was like we couldn’t be in the same room and keep our hands off each other without a chaperone.



I brought this up. “You know what will happen, Jesse. I wish you would listen to me when I’m trying to be serious and not override my decisions. I meant what I said about my Trig grade. I have to raise it.”



“I know something else you’re good at raising,” he smirked, looking down at the bulge in his jeans.



“See?” I exclaimed in frustration, turning and marching into my bedroom. “That’s exactly what I was talking about. Thanks, Jesse, you have proven my point.”



He followed on my heels, trying to keep from giggling. “I’m just yanking your chain. But honestly, what’s the deal with your math grade? You’re just going to a community college next year. You don’t need straight A’s.”



I was going to retort that the reason I wasn’t attending a university was because of him until I realized I was the one pushing Hope Ranch, not Jesse, and my mouth snapped shut. Part of what he said made sense, but I had perfectionist tendencies, and getting a good grade in Trig was a challenge to me. It was a personal goal.



I made Jesse sit on the chair in front of my computer stand while I took the bed, and for a little while we did get some work done. Presently Jesse began to act restless.



“Hmm, I was wondering if you would mind waiting to tell the principal about the notes until after we finish finals on Monday. That’s only three extra days, and we’d be done with our testing so however he chooses to handle it won’t interfere with study.”



My head shot up. Okay, here we go again. I guess I should have known better than expect him to simply cave in to my suggestion for being the right thing to do, but seriously, the way he was stringing it out terrified me. Nearly vibrating in anger, I settled for giving Jesse a black look.



“Well hell, why settle for waiting for Monday? Why not until the day we graduate? Or even better, don’t tell anyone at all? Isn’t that what you’re after? Let’s keep this a big secret, and when some ass walks up to you in the parking lot and beats the shit out of you we can pretend like it was a fucking surprise.”



“Shane, that’s not what I meant…”



“Bullshit,” I shouted. “You are so full of it, Jesse. I worry about you every single day. That some whacked out creeper is out there waiting to hurt you, and la-de-da, it’s nothing to you. Just give up some of your macho pride for a change and let someone who has experience with this kind of thing help you instead of carrying it all by yourself.”



“But there is so much going on for the end of school.”



“Not tomorrow there isn’t,” I pointed out. “It’s a normal school day. You can talk to Mr. Peabody either before or after school and get it over with. Just think of how good it’s going to feel to get the weight off your back once you do.”



He nodded but he wasn’t happy. I put my book down and massaged my temples. I hated fighting with him, and with these threats, that’s all we ever did anymore.



“Come here.” I scooted over and patted the bed beside me. Yeah, this was going to lead to make-up sex. Or at least, remind-Jesse-that-I-loved-him-and-convince-him-that-I-knew-what-was-best-for-him sex.



He flew to my side and bounced, landing next to me. He kissed me softly on the lips. I kissed him gently back. Then he crushed me to him tightly, and we shoved our tongues inside open mouths to dance together.



Kissing and touching, we had each other undressed in record time. We stretched out next to each other, our bodies slithering together in joyous abandon, all the parts meshing and creating friction that aroused both of us into sweaty, panting, primitive beings. After the lapse of four days, with the stress of the notes and studying and particularly because of our fighting, I needed to be inside Jesse and show him he was still mine forever.



“I want to suck you,” he husked, tears in his eyes because the need was his own as well. “Please.”



I reached up and gently wiped the tears away, giving him a smile of contentment. Flattening myself on top of the sheets, I spread my legs for him.



His mouth was so wonderfully warm as his lips circled the head of my cock and his tongue lapped at me. He hollowed his cheeks to suck precum from my slit and I swore I saw stars behind my eyelids. Sliding his lips over my balls to pull on them made my groin lift off the bed in rhapsody, and when he began to bob over me, he took the tip almost into his throat before gagging. I could feel his whole mouth stretching for every millimeter of my shaft, and my tingling nuts told me that if he kept this up I was going to cum in his mouth.



“Enough,” I moaned. “It feels too damn good, Baby, and I won’t last much longer.”



Jesse and I exchanged positions, and I fetched the lube and a condom out of my drawer. Even hard and aching as I was, I took time to kiss and nibble all the sensitive parts of his body. That place on his throat just below the hollow and across his collar bones, his brown nipples that shrunk down into such cute little peaks and swirling my tongue in his belly button. He was whimpering and thrashing by the time I reached his ass.



A lubed finger found his rosebud and pushed inside. His channel gripped me in moist silkiness as I opened him up. With two digits I found his prostate and played tag with it, making Jesse moan and the lean muscles of his abdomen clench. I was turning him on with my sly little taps, and his body was humming and taut with anticipation by the time my third finger slipped in.



When Jesse was nearly to the point where the sensations were crashing into him more than he could stand, his eyes would rapidly shift back and forth under his lids and the muscles of his thighs and abdomen would tense. It wasn’t the same as orgasm, but it was a good non-verbal signal that he was tired of me teasing him and needed my dick up inside him.



He was there now, and I unrolled a condom on my erection and lubed up, shivering at my own light touch through the latex. I lifted his ankles to my shoulders and gently pushed against his bud through the muscular guardians into his tight, hot hole.



I knew exactly how long to lie still and allow him to adjust to me, and when he was ready he had a favorite way for me to seat myself. I rolled my hips into him and rotated at the same time.



“Oh god, Shane!” He dug his fingers into my shoulder and moaned once I was fully in.



“What, it doesn’t feel good?” I joked hoarsely, teasing him because I loved hearing the answer. I pushed his blue-black hair out of his sparkling latte eyes.



“Oh shit, Blondie, you know it does… it feels so damn good.”



I pulled his legs down and he wrapped them around my thighs, laying himself open for me to plunder. My hips surged forward, in and out of his velvety soft chute. I stared into his eyes, afraid to lose this contact with him and loving the expression of bliss on his face. Harder I drove into him, each jab raking his prostate as he lifted his hips to meet me. I watched shudders race through him.



I reached between our bodies and took his dick in my hand. Stroking it expertly, I watched Jesse’s eyes roll back in his head. “Oh fuck, ooh, Blondie,” he shouted, and he went off like a geyser, spraying cum all over our torsos. His ass clasped around my dick convulsively, and I rode right over the brink with him, streaming cum into the condom with a crescendo of groans, panting gasps and writhing limbs.



“Are you alright?” Jesse asked me after I tossed the condom in the trash and collapsed next to him. “It got pretty wild at the end.”



“I’m always wild around you,” I wheezed. “You drive me wild.”



He snickered. “Flattery will get you everywhere. But we are pretty good together, aren’t we!”



“Perfect is more like it. I love you Jesse.”



“I love you too, Shane.”



We cuddled and kissed, homework forgotten. As usual, I wished he could spend the night with me, knowing we could make it happen if it weren’t for curfews and parental rules. I didn’t want him to go home because I hated sleeping by myself, but all too soon the point was reached where Jesse was going to get in trouble if he stayed any longer. We redressed and I walked him out to his Jeep. We made out for a few minutes of long, sensuous goodnight kisses that would have to suffice for now, and then I headed in for bed.



~*~~*~




I arrived at school in the morning and Jesse’s Jeep wasn’t parked at the far end of the lot like usual. In fact, I looked around and didn’t see it anywhere. “Damn it,” I cursed, wondering if this was his newest attempt to get out of turning in the notes to an administrator.



I waited for him until the warning bell rang telling us we had ten minutes to get to class, and I didn’t want to be tardy. I was nearly seething, but I tried to calm myself so I could send him a text message free of accusations and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was sick; a late-season flu bug was going around. I hoped whatever was keeping him from school was over quickly because today was the last regular day before senior finals began. There couldn’t be any more delays getting rid of his stalker.



I sent another text after 1st period and one during nutrition. My call to him before the fourth hour went right to voicemail and almost made me late for Physics. Ooh, my baby was going to hear it loud and clear from me about turning off his cell when I next saw him, especially if he missed school so he could avoid his promise.



It was lunch and I was sitting at the table with the rest of Jesse’s friends from the drama department. Another call indicated his mobile was still turned off, so I idly tried to call him on the Capps’ home telephone. Oh good, it was ringing.



“Hello?” Answering was a breathy, feminine voice that I didn’t recognize at first.



“Hi, is Jesse there?” I almost doubted having the right number, but he had programmed it into my phone himself so it must be correct.



“Who is this?” Now the voice was watery, like she was speaking through a very stuffed-up nose. I still wasn’t positive, but she sounded a little like Jesse’s mother with a bad head cold. Yup, Jesse must be sick.



“Shane Elliott, Jesse’s friend. Can I speak to him?”



“Just a second,” she murmured. I waited, hearing background noise coming from her end: the rumble of more than a few vague voices, some close and others farther away. A door slammed, feet walking. Then I picked up her voice again, and it sounded like she was crying. “Chad, you deal with this, it’s Jesse’s friend.”

I knew who Chad was. Jesse’s favorite cousin, the one who knew he was gay and bought us the beer for our second-month anniversary. “Hello?” he asked, and I could hear the strain in his voice too. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and suddenly I could barely swallow.



“My name is Shane,” I whispered, “Jesse’s best friend. Is he there? He didn’t show up for school this morning.”



Something close to a sob caught in Chad’s throat. “Shane… uh, there’s been an… uh…”



More background interference, and an unfamiliar male voice called, “Chad, the cops want to ask you a few…” The rest of the sentence was cut off by the sudden chatter of a walky-talky radio, the kind the police wear.



Police at Jesse’s house? All of a sudden suspicion punched me in the gut and filled me with dread. I think I yelled something like, “Tell me what happened to him,” into my cell phone. Jesse! I was only peripherally aware of kids in my end of the quad coming to a standstill to stare at me.



I was running. Running and crying. I remembered to pick up my backpack from the lunch table and I was out the gate, tearing across the asphalt to my Chevy and then speeding through town to the Capps’ house. Something awful had happened to my baby there and I wasn’t going to wait around until after school to find out. I started to shake and I kept passing the back of my arm over my eyes to brush the tears away but it was useless and they just kept coming. I couldn’t stop the hopeless panic filling my heart.



Nobody noticed me immediately when I brought my car to a stop next to the neighbor’s hydrangea bushes and killed the engine. In front of Jesse’s house the street was bedlam. Crime scene tape all around the edge of the yard, four Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s cars sitting at weird angles at the curb, one from the Highway Patrol, and people everywhere including more cops than I’d ever seen outside of a television program. A group of sobbing relatives huddled around Jesse’s mother sitting stoically dry-eyed on a lawn chair on the porch.



Jesse’s Jeep was parked on the dirt driveway with the driver’s door gaping wide open, and I sprinted towards it. “Son,” I heard someone say as I ducked under the yellow plastic tape. “You can’t go through there.”



I didn’t acknowledge him. My focus was on the Cherokee surrounded by several police officers but their bulk couldn’t obscure the swaths of black-red flung against the silver paint and the side windows. More of it was puddled on the ground next to the open door. Lots more. It pulled me like a magnet. Oh my god, Jesse.



“Son, stop,” the man shouted.



I heard rapid movement behind me and then I was abruptly tackled to the ground by a burly officer in khaki green. I didn’t really feel any pain on impact, just the rapid whoosh of air being knocked out of me and the agony of trying to suck more in. I was aware of flailing in the cop’s arms, of painful pressure in my chest and being told to lie still. Crying hysterically as I called for Jesse.



In my dimming vision I stared at two pair of black boots approach me. The knot of people had rushed into the yard from the porch. One of the nearby deputies asked, “Ms Capps, do you know him?”



A male in his early twenties answered for her. “That’s Shane Elliott, Jesse’s boyfriend.” I presumed this was his cousin Chad, and if I could have breathed, I would have giggled over how Jesse hadn’t kept his secret very well. He was going to be so stunned to discover his family already knew he was gay and didn’t seem to care. But then darkness swirled in to tug at me, and I passed out.



~*~~*~




I regained consciousness to find myself strapped to a paramedic’s gurney with a handcuff on my wrist. Before I even opened my eyes I heard Jesse’s sister, Jenna, pleading with the deputies. “Shane called at lunch asking to speak to Jesse, and Chad talked to him. Didn’t anyone telephone the school and tell them what happened?”



“No, we’ve had a busy morning, Jenna.” The voice was familiar from a faraway memory of a night at the ball park when Jesse and I were doing something illegal in public. “We were hoping to avoid leaking the news until we had a clearer grasp of the situation. If the suspect is a student we didn’t want to alert him or her.”



“But surely, you can understand how much of a shock this must have been to him. Mom says he’s a nice kid and devoted to Jesse.”



“He should have stopped when he was told to,” Deputy Erickson said.



They continued to haggle for a short while longer. I guess it’s a big deal to stumble into a crime scene and not obey the cops when they warn you to stay out. However, Jesse’s family finally prevailed upon the Sheriff’s office to let me go and not file charges.



Honestly, by the time their conversation ended I could’ve cared less whether I went to jail or not. Listening to them made my insides turn to ice, and I felt like I was being crushed. All I could do was sob and count my inhales and exhales as I tried to keep breathing.



Jesse was dead.



Last night after returning home he had been approached by someone with a blade. In the gloom of the front yard he either got caught up in an altercation or was taken by surprise. Or maybe he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. There were no witnesses. It was so eerily quiet way out here in the boonies at night, so totally black around his house because of the broken porch lamp. As usual his family had slept soundly, mindless of the assault until his body had been discovered by his sister early this morning when she was leaving for work.



Jesse had been stabbed four times in the chest. The deputies, perhaps to make it less traumatic for the family and me, said it appeared that he had died almost instantaneously. Talking of how one wound must have passed through his ribs directly into his heart. The assailant was unknown, and they were collecting evidence and asking for information from family and friends. They hoped the perp had left something of himself behind to process DNA from and promised there would be an arrest.



Once I came to and one of the detectives assigned to the case found out that I was the last person to see Jesse alive, they were all over me with questions. Where we’d been, if Jesse had seemed concerned, what time he departed. I was numb. I must have been in shock because I had no problem telling these officers, strangers all except for Mr. Erickson, that Jesse had shown up at my house around 8:15 and we spent two hours alone in my bedroom studying and fucking.



I answered every single invasive query like a robot. I never felt I was a suspect—my breakdown made it evident that I was oblivious to the tragedy here—and the men were very respectful towards me and probed carefully. They gave me a few minutes to collect myself each time they sensed I was going to fall apart. Someone pushed a cold can of Dr. Pepper into my hands that I couldn’t even open. It’s Jesse’s favorite soft drink.



I brought up the threatening notes Jesse had been receiving and they were keenly attentive. I talked of why he initially suspected me because of the coincidence of my starting week of school, the distinctly homophobic flavor of them and how often they appeared. I asked about his backpack because the last note was inside and said that Jesse had it with him the night before. One of the deputies found it on the floor of his Jeep.



The sight of Jesse’s binder made me start crying again, made it all too real. Latex-gloved hands withdrew the latest printed threat just where I’d seen him place it yesterday, and the officer carefully opened it. “That’s the last one,” I sobbed. “There are lots more in Jesse’s locker at school.”



It was all too late to matter anymore, but pushing through my daze was that by letting Jesse persuade me to keep the notes a secret made me somehow to blame. I couldn’t bear it if this was partially my fault but it sure felt like it was. I should have told somebody months ago. I should have stood my ground after spring break when we realize the stalker wasn’t going to quit. Or last month after I discovered he was hiding them from me. One fucking day! It all boiled down to Jesse having to babysit his nephew yesterday afternoon.



A deputy asked his mother about the notes, and she said Jesse had talked to her in April about being harassed but claimed it wasn’t a big deal. He hadn’t mentioned it recently. My mouth dropped open in astonishment, but I guess I should have expected it. He had just shined me on, lied to all of us and did it to shut me up. I shook my head, disagreeing with what Jesse had told her. No, there were at least a dozen warnings spanning five months. The family totally crumpled in on themselves recognizing too late that Jesse had kept so much vital information to himself.



This all seemed to be happening to somebody else. Maybe my brain was trying to protect me from overload by shunting my pain aside and burying it so I couldn’t feel. I didn’t want to imagine Jesse alone in the dark, in pain and bleeding out. What were his last thoughts of… probably of his family, maybe of me too? Did he regret not taking my advice or were they pleasant ones of how much we loved each other? It felt too raw to wonder if he’d known he was going to die.



But helping the deputies provided me a temporary strength. I discovered deep rage too, fueling the urgency to avenge Jesse by catching his killer. The animal who had stolen something precious from me. I gave the officers everything I could think of about the particularities of finding each note. What I could recall of people like Mark Butler and his gang who had tormented Jesse at school.



Two of the detectives took me to Calberia High to retrieve the threats from Jesse’s locker, and wouldn’t you know it, class had just been dismissed. There’s a certain amount of infamy involved in walking through the main gates of a high school trailed by two uniformed officers, and I tried to ignore the stares. Students quickly shuffled out of the way to make room for us and I could only imagine their conclusions.



We passed two of Jesse’s drama friends who made startled eye contact with me. That was all it took; I started blubbering again and faltered on a crack in the sidewalk. One of the cops kindly put his arm around my shoulders to shield me from everyone else’s observation and make sure I stayed upright, and the other deputy announced, “Nothing to see here, kids.”



We disappeared into the main office, and the principal was called out of his cubicle. Upon hearing the tragic state of affairs, Mr. Peabody gave immediate permission to open Jesse’s locker but we had to wait for a secretary. Fidgeting impatiently, I watched three senior girls who had overheard the request glance between my drawn, wet eyes and the cops’ grim expressions, and at that point the truth must have slapped them across the face. Distressed, they slipped out of the room.



The secretary finally arrived with her list of combinations to the lockers, and I sighed because I could have supplied this without the delay. All things had to go through the proper channels I suppose. En masse, the principal, secretary, cops and I headed outside to find almost as many students still milling around as before. No one had left.



Bad news brings out the curiosity in people. Lots of the girls were crying; even some of Jesse’s male friends had tears in their eyes, and oh my god, the whispering. Jesse’s name was on the wind. My face turned mutinous, and I felt a definite urge to slug someone and tell them to shut the fuck up and stop talking about my boyfriend.



Another set of latex gloves came out, and I wasn’t allowed to touch anything. The cops and principal talked about preserving fingerprints and keeping the chain of evidence intact. I pointed to the zip-lock bag under the hoody in the back of the locker. It was now bulging with notes. When I brought up the fact that some of them had been passed through the locker vent, the detectives asked the principal if he’d allow a fingerprint team in. I wondered what they hoped to find with seven hundred students floating through these halls every day?



I looked at Mr. Peabody who seemed to have aged twenty years in one afternoon. “I’ve tried to get Jesse to take them seriously,” I hiccupped, tears pouring down my cheeks. “But he won’t. Wouldn’t.” He touched my arm and told me I wasn’t responsible, but who else was there? Jesse would still be alive if…



It suddenly hit me full force that there was no more Jesse. No. More. Jesse. All he had been to me, all we had lived for as a couple was gone except for memories. I wanted to collapse against the pillar holding up the roof overhang and give in to bawling like a baby. But I mostly held it together, cognizant of still being watched by students who kept their distance but couldn’t help circling like vultures. It didn’t even bother me how my misery was virtually announcing that we had been lovers. What did it matter now that Jesse was gone?



The sheriff’s car took me back to the Capp’s neighborhood to retrieve my Chevy. I think the shock had begun to wear off because I started sobbing in the back seat of the patrol car. Yesterday I had a boyfriend; today I didn’t. Yesterday at this time we were arguing about the intimidating note on his car; today it appeared that Jesse’s procrastination, and mine, I might add, had cost him his life. I felt traumatized and helpless, and I wished I could curl up into a ball and die too.



The cops were concerned about me and advised me to get checked out by a doctor and get some kind of medication to help me cope. I told them I just needed to process what happened and, while I wasn’t fine by a long shot, I would rather work this out on my own. I know they disagreed, but there was nothing they could force me to do. They asked me about parents and I lied and said there was someone sympathetic at home I could discuss my grief with.



Once we returned to Jesse’s, a detective asked if I would mind stopping by the substation and answering more questions to which I agreed. Jesse’s mother walked up and held me a tight hug before I left for downtown. It was only natural that being consoled by someone who loved him as I did and had lost just as much as me set me off again.



“I’m so sorry,” I sobbed on her shoulder. “So sorry. This is my fault. I begged him to tell you and when I asked him later, he acted weird and wouldn’t discuss it. I should have known he was lying and followed up.”



“No, no honey.” She pulled me back to look me in the face, and I saw her own sorrow etched in tears and the deep lines around her eyes and mouth. “Don’t blame yourself or it will make you crazy with guilt.”



I looked for recrimination and found none, but I wasn’t going to let myself off the hook that easily. “But there are so many things I should have done. Forced him to go to the authorities from the beginning or stolen the letters out of his locker or…”



“Nobody is to blame here except the person who killed Jesse,” Sandra stated firmly, her mouth set. “Nobody.”



“If only…”



“Shane, listen to me,” she said, and she commanded my attention by gently grabbing my upper arms and giving me a little shake. “Until you entered my son’s life Jesse was living behind a false smile. He has always been a good boy, but he had this secret, and it burdened him. The past four months were the happiest he’s been since he was little. He adored you. From the joy I saw every day in his eyes, I know you loved him too.



“I found out he was gay when he was sixteen,” she stated, wiping her face. “Maybe I should have told him then. But I wanted Jesse to be ready to share it with me, not feel forced.”



“He was getting ready… getting ready to tell you,” I choked out. “He worried only about his grandpa finding out because he didn’t want him to be angry.” It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t seen his grandfather anywhere around.



Sandra saw the question in my eyes. “My father went to pieces this morning once Jenna… once…” She shook her head, clearing the violence seen. “He’s resting at my nephew’s house because this has been such a strain on his heart. But he already knew just like I did. And then we saw Jesse’s dance on Monday.” She smiled.



I smiled too, remembering with all the joy I could drum up the sultry routine he’d sung just for me. How could Monday night, not even forty-eight hours past, feel like so long ago?



“We always had each other’s back,” I agreed quietly, “because our love together was the one thing we could count on. He was helping me because I’ve been so scared to come out, but Jesse… he was making me brave. My parents… my mom and dad…” I cleared my throat, unable to verbalize how much being rejected hurt. “He was everything to me. What will I do without him?”



She hugged me hard again. “You will find a way to go on and make him proud of you. We all will. We have to.”



I was suddenly surrounded by Jesse’s sister, Jenna, cousin Chad and other family members, all holding on to each other and crying, like a group grief session with everyone comforting each other. His family was so different than mine, willing to let their feelings show without shame and so accepting. If only Jesse had been aware that they knew he was gay and still loved him. Would it have made a difference?



I spent two hours downtown with the detectives answering their questions, trying to remember every little detail about the threats or anyone that Jesse might have mentioned that hated him, but nothing more came to mind. I cried through most of it. They were alarmed by my anguish and repeatedly asked if anyone was at home I could talk to. Having no idea what my father’s plans were, their worry made me uncomfortable, so I told them I would be alright. It was six o’clock when I left the station, and as I walked to my car, my cell phone chimed. It was Uncle Carl.



“Shane,” he shouted and I had to pull the phone away from my ear. “I just heard about Jesse. Are you okay?”



His voice was, while excited, was empathetic, and I almost broke down again. “Yeah, I’m hanging in there.”



“Do you need anything? To come over? Elaine will make you dinner, and you can talk… or be silent, whatever helps you the most.”



What I wanted most was to be alone. To gather my thoughts and let the events of the past six hours wash over me so I could make some sense of it. My loss was unimaginable, and I had to regroup.



“I’d rather not, Uncle Carl, but thanks. I’m on my way home, and I’ll be okay. I have to study for finals.”



I bit my lip, knowing that was the most lame-ass excuse on the planet, but it was true. Finals began the next day, although I had no idea how I was going to get through school in my condition.



“If you’re sure.” Carl sounded doubtful with my decision. “You shouldn’t be by yourself, Shane.”



“I won’t be,” I lied. “Dad will be home soon. Really.”



We chatted a few minutes longer while I reassured him that I was managing and I needed rest more than anything. Convinced that I had no intention of going off the deep end, he eventually said goodbye.



The house was predictably vacant when I unlocked the door. Dad would be at Jillian’s, although he, like everyone else in Calberia, had probably heard of the murder by now. It was on all the television channels, at least the local ones. In this close a town, every single person should be affected by the tragedy in some way. Despite that, I seriously doubted it would cause the smallest wrinkle in my father’s life because he didn’t have any empathy or the capacity to be bothered with my reaction. He probably didn’t even remember me saying that Jesse was my friend.



I stripped off my clothes and fell into bed, the same bed that Jesse and I had made love on last night. I could still smell him… his shampoo and a trace of his cologne on the pillow. I let the tears come as I wrapped my arms around it and drew it close. Imagining it was Jesse beside me, I cried myself to sleep.

~*~~*~




I don’t know how I got through the next couple of weeks.



Thursday was the first day of finals. I tried to force myself to go to school but I broke down in first period. My teacher sent me to the office, and Mr. Peabody ushered me into his cubicle for a talk. The school psychologist was buzzed in too. Half an hour later I was told to go home and not worry about my tests. They would square them away with all my teachers.



I went home, undressed and went back to bed. It gave me comfort to be here and even now the sweetness of our union lingered. I awoke hours later to my father screaming at me. He said the principal had phoned him to verify that I was exempt from my finals.



“What the hell is this bullshit about you going through some fucking hardship and being too overwhelmed by personal issues to sit through exams?”



“Huh?” For those blessed few milliseconds before wakefulness I’d had peace, but Dad’s query brought it all back. He and Jillian were standing in my bedroom which shocked me because this was the first time she’d ever been in the house. I wanted to rage at him for his insensitivity and tears flooded my eyes.



“Mr. Peabody sent me home,” I stated, pulling my quilt up to cover myself to the chin. I was naked under the sheets and I didn’t want Jillian to see me. Dad’s expression added puzzlement to annoyance. “Didn’t you hear anything about the murder yesterday?”



“Oh, the Capps boy,” Jillian clarified slowly. “You knew him?”



Duh! What a stupid question considering the size of the school. But I wasn’t going to act rude because she was trying to be nice, even helping me out by reporting to my clueless father the news that had ignited fear and concern throughout the western valley. This was the first murder in Calberia in eighteen years. Every resident had learned of it except for him, obviously.



“Jesse was my best friend,” I said simply. I turned my head to the wall. Talking about him hurt too much.



Dad left me alone after that. It was both good and bad. He didn’t ask a bunch of useless questions about my feelings or harp on me for hiding or try to put two and two together on why I was so devastated over the death of someone who was just a friend. On the other hand, he didn’t come home any more often than before and nobody took care of me. I didn’t mind whether I ate or not. Showered or didn’t. Slept or couldn’t. I guess it didn’t matter to him that my world had fallen apart.



I was busy at first even if I never went back to school. I spent another two hours at the station speaking to the detectives on Jesse’s case, and they said to contact them if something came to mind. It was getting to the point where I wasn’t sure if the answers I gave were real or part of the nightmares that troubled me nightly.



Chad called me a couple of times to discuss his cousin, mostly to demand if Jesse had been happy. Of that I was positive, and I always answered yes. Chad talked as if he’d done something wrong, and I assured him that if Jesse wouldn’t listen to my advice he wouldn’t have taken his either. Sandra also called to check up on me. I kept my feelings more or less to myself because I couldn’t stop the self-blaming and I missed Jesse so much. The only help for me was… well, there was no help for me.



My emotions skittered widely from day to day, one moment to the next. Every morning I had a rare few seconds of peace before my memory kicked in to remind me that my lover was gone. A memory would come out of nowhere and level me, and guilt over the notes ate me alive. Sometimes the feelings were so physical, like the stony heat in my eyes when I couldn’t cry anymore or the giant lump sitting in my throat that I could barely swallow around. The only people I could have talked to who understood were Jesse’s family, and they were dealing with their own grief. It probably wasn’t healthy that I was on my own so much but I was getting used to it.



My high school graduation was the evening of June 14, nine days after Jesse’s death. It was also our four-month anniversary, but there was no longer a reason to celebrate or the person to share it with. The evening was supposed to be wonderful for Jesse and me with a big ceremony in the football stadium where we would be exiting high school and figuratively becoming adults. I had invited everyone in the family from both Calberia and Rancho Martinez. Jesse and I were looking forward to going to Grad Nite at Disneyland afterwards and wandering the theme park while I showed him all the newest rides. For once there would’ve been no fear of Calberia classmates knowing about us.



Instead, I went through the motions. The eighty-something seniors welcomed me, and everyone, even Mark Butler, was sporting navy blue ‘Justice 4 Jesse’ armbands. His killer hadn’t been caught yet… Mark had been thoroughly investigated for the crime but had an ironclad alibi that night… and Jesse’s friends didn’t want people to forget about him.



I didn’t think I was going to make it through the ceremony except that Jasmine, one of my English classmates, gave me half a Xanax tablet because she said I was probably going nuts with stress and half a tab would take the edge off without putting me to sleep. She and another girl ran me through a quick rehearsal of how to walk and when to sit and stand because I missed all the practices. By that time the Xanax was kicking in, and it actually felt good to just dump the pain for awhile. I probably would have sailed through if the school hadn’t made such a big deal about Jesse not being alive to get his diploma.



Speeches by the principal, his dance teacher and some student Jesse didn’t even spend time with on what a great leader he’d been and how hard he worked. What a nice, respectful boy he was, and how students looked up to him and teachers enjoyed having him in class. Praising Jesse’s talent as a dancer and actor and why the world was a better place for him being in it, even for a short while. Everyone’s attention was drawn to the ‘Justice 4 Jesse’ bands to remind them that the criminal was still at large.



By the time his tearful sister came forward to accept his posthumous diploma, my overwhelmed emotions were climbing up my throat. Every sentiment repeatedly pounded into my brain that Jesse was dead. I must have looked as if I was having a nervous breakdown. Wanting to escape, all I could do was put my head down so no one would see me crying. My fellow students were not only grieving over Jesse themselves but freaking out over my bereavement, and I was suddenly in the middle of a large knot of hugs and words of comfort.



Other than finally graduating the only thing I noticed was my guests. Dad and Jillian, Carl and Elaine, of course, but much to my amazement, my mother actually showed up. Without informing me, she flew in at two and spent the afternoon with my uncle— her brother— giving me no chance to talk to her other than a quick hello after the ceremony ended. She left for the airport before the ink was dry on my diploma, airily claiming that she had to get back to Rancho Martinez because Roxie and Suzie were having a huge end-of-school overnight the following evening. So much planning to do and so many things to buy, but it was going to be the party of parties for her girls. She kissed me on the cheek and told me to have fun at college.



Carl saw her off to her car and returned fifteen minutes later. “Some people never change, I guess.” He meant it as an apology, maybe for being related.



“Yeah, well, at least she showed up.”



“Did she?” he scoffed. “I’m surprised she found it in her heart to even make the effort.”



I gasped. That was probably the harshest thing he’d ever said about his sister.



“I’m sorry,” he apologized, walking up and giving me a gentle hug. “Are you okay? You look like shit.”



No, I was never going to be okay. But I faked a smile and tried to joke, “Sure, Uncle Carl. It’s all the pomp and circumstance and realizing I’m out of high school. I’m still coming to terms with this being alone crap.”



Alone. Forever without my baby.



Jesse’s funeral was held on Saturday afternoon, two days later. We met at the Eternal Valley mortuary, because only an outside venue was large enough to handle the crowds. The whole school was there. Hell, almost the entire population of Calberia was there.



Everyone was bubbling with the news. Jesse’s killer had been caught.



It was Mitchell Butler, Mark’s older brother, who murdered Jesse. For some reason that only mental illness and drug abuse could explain, Mitchell had been fixated on the younger boy all through high school. He’d been Jesse’s chief bully up until our junior year, the same year Mitchell had graduated. But with his departure, Jesse had made the vow to himself to stop letting people push him around.



No, he couldn’t stop the words that jerks like the Butler brothers used against him, but he could control how he reacted. His first mistake, if you will, was ignoring the bullying, and when Mark complained to Mitchell that Jesse didn’t care what he said anymore, the older boy decided to make him care. But just as Jesse wouldn’t pay attention to verbal threats, he didn’t pay attention to the written ones either. By the time June rolled around, Mitchell was enraged enough to become dangerous. He decided that Jesse needed to learn a lesson.



Unfortunately, what was supposed to be a simple threat with a knife went too far. We would never know why Mitchell became so frenzied that he plunged the blade into Jesse’s chest. Afraid that he was going to start yelling and wake people up, Mitchell stabbed Jesse again and again and again, leaving him to die in the dirt.



I stood silent and tearless as I heard the tale from Kwan and Mi Kyong Park. I thanked them for telling me and made my way across the grass to where a brushed-steel casket sat on a bier surrounded by flowers. Jesse’s framed senior portrait was on a tripod next to the coffin with more flowers. I couldn’t look at it.



What difference did knowing who killed Jesse make other than to assure the killer was punished? Nothing would bring Jesse back. Mitchell was just another homophobic bastard who had used deadly force against his gay victim. Lots of people died from gay bashing. Jesse was the only one who mattered to me.



Crowds began to arrive. I was hanging back alone and scanning groups of attendees, recognizing many from school. Jenna Capps saw me and pointed me out to her mother. The next thing I knew, they were drawing me forward and telling me to sit with them in their row.



The ceremony was short and sad, but I wasn’t listening. I don’t think I cried one tear. Perhaps I was all dried out or my crying was done by the hundreds of others who couldn’t stop. I stared at the little memorandum in my hand that put Jesse’s life into a series of statistics. Date of birth, date of death, his picture and a poem about death. He was so much more than that, but how could I make anyone understand?



The time came when the pastor asked people to say a few words about him, and I couldn’t. I wanted to but I knew nothing I’d utter would make Jesse real to them in the way he was to me. I wasn’t able to explain the strangled words of longing that were in my heart. At the end, people walked forward to give their condolences and I heard a thousand versions of “I’m sorry” until I wanted to scream.



I returned home in the late afternoon, and my father was there with Jillian. She was biting her lip but I saw sympathy and anxiety on her face. Dad just looked angry as usual.



“I have been getting quite a few comments from people around the area whom I respect,” he huffed. “They say you have been carrying on obsessively over the Capps boy’s death.”



“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked sullenly. “I’m not allowed to mourn Jesse?”



Jillian put a hand on Dad’s arm. “Perhaps this isn’t the best time to discuss this,” she said, her voice placating and compassionate. “It’s been a rough week and a half for Shane, Ken.”



He wasn’t paying attention. “There is nothing wrong with mourning when it’s done quietly, in a way that doesn’t draw attention. Crying and falling apart at a public ceremony reflects badly on you and me.”



“Dad, I wish you would try to understand. Please just listen.”



I felt wrung out. The person I loved with all my being was now rotting in a grave, and all he was worried about was morals and his standing in the community. Just for once I needed him to see things from my point of view.



Jillian tried to intervene again and turned to Dad with a warning in her voice. “It would be best if you backed off. Let it go for now before you say something you’ll both regret.”



My dad was obstinate if anything and he glared at me. “No, I want to hear what he has to say. Explain.”



“Jesse meant the world to me, Dad,” I whispered. “He was my best friend… well actually, my only real friend here in Calberia. You have no idea how lonely I’ve been since Mom kicked me out and made me move up here. Took me away from my old life and forced into a strange school five fucking months before graduation. And now Jesse is dead because of some asshole kid with a grudge and a knife.”



“He was your boyfriend,” Dad snapped. “Don’t lie.”



“Ken, don’t,” Jillian warned again. Her eyes pleaded with me to stay quiet, but I was done with lying and hiding.



“Yes, he was my boyfriend, Dad. I loved him. What do you want me to say?”



“I want you to tell me why you’re fucking around with some gay kid when I explicitly told you I wouldn’t stand for it when you moved in,” he raged.



I trembled in my shoes before his fury, but I was at the edge of my endurance. My eyes stung with exhausted tears and my heart felt like lead in my chest. I was so tired of being judged by ignorant people and found lacking. The worst was when it came from those who were supposed to care about me.



“Fucking around? I’m bi, Dad. That’s all. I’m not sick, I’m not perverted and I didn’t do anything to make myself this way. What is the matter with all of you? Loving Jesse isn’t a crime any more than being bisexual means I’m a monster, so why does everyone hate on us so much? People like you and Mom are no better than Mitchell inside, you just hide it better. Instead of threats and violence, you call me names and criticize, and not once since Jesse died have you even tried to understand how I feel.”



My breathing was coming out in harsh gasps, and my voice was squeaking several octaves higher than I normally spoke, but I was on a roll. All the pain and loneliness, the despair over being dumped in Calberia with nobody in my corner, I had been holding inside of me for way too long. How it felt to find someone at last who loved me for who I was, and then to have him cruelly stolen from me came pouring out. I couldn’t stop it.



“So what if I was in love with another boy. I was committed to Jesse and he was the only one I’ve been with since I moved here. He was the only one in this world who truly appreciated me for who I am. Jesse was the kindest, most loving person I have ever met, and we weren’t hurting anybody. I can’t help who I fall for. It’s biological, just like you love Jillian and Mom loves Whit. He was…”



My explanation ended in a roar from my father’s open mouth, and I cringed, afraid of his wrath. Like some kind of wild man, he regarded me with bulging eyes and his mouth in a snarl, and I knew enough to shut up. He really was no better than Jesse’s murderer. Like having blinders pulled from my eyes, I knew Dad would never appreciate how hard this was, how empty my life had become since Jesse’s death. I felt like my whole world was imploding.



“Never mind, forget it,” I said in a low voice and turned away to slump off to my bedroom.



“Come back here, Shane.” And when I kept moving, his tone became demanding. “I said, get the hell back here.”



My ass was saved by Jillian who grabbed her purse and stormed out the door a second later. I only heard her angry, muffled voice yelling, “I can’t believe how insensitive you are to your own son, Ken,” the slam of the door and then my dad going after her to plead his case. They were outside for a good ten minutes of loud arguing before she backed out of the driveway with a squeal of tires and took off down the street. It must have distracted him enough because when he came back inside he left me alone.



I sat in my dark bedroom, moving around in nonsense circles of emotion, aimless and aching for Jesse. I had given up everything for our future, and now it was over. I had even dreamed about it, apart from my nightly nightmares of Jesse’s death. Seeing myself, standing on the end of a long plank over a black pit where every foot represented a loss in my life. Mom, Dad, Jesse.



My conversation with Dad made it painfully obvious that I wasn’t going to be welcomed at my father’s for much longer. My secret was out; I had clearly been ‘fucking around’ with a boy for awhile, and Dad had to realize that part of it was his lack of supervision. What was he going to do? Babysit me to keep me on the straight and narrow? No, I had graduated from high school, so it was a matter of time before he used our relationship as the reason to kick me out like my mother had done five months earlier.



That left me with one unenviable solution which was to try to convince Mom to let me move back in. I didn’t want to, not really, and I wasn’t sure how I would manage it with her lack of concern and evident disapproval of me. I desperately needed to get away from Calberia because everywhere I went was a place I had shared life with Jesse, and it hurt so bad to be reminded of it. I didn’t want to appear desperate but I might even have to throw myself on her mercy.



I called her Sunday evening around 7:30.



“Shane,” Mom squawked in uneasy surprise when she answered her cell for a change. “Where are you?”



Thinking at first it was an odd question right off the bat, it suddenly clicked that she must not be at home and was afraid I was back in town. “Still in Calberia at Dad’s.”



“Oh… good.” She didn’t have to act so relieved. “So what do you need?”



My mouth went dry. I knew she was going to refuse me. But what other choice was there but to ask.



“Listen, Shane,” she interrupted impatiently. “I’m expected an important call from Whit any second. You need to tell me what you want.” Her attitude made me angry because I could tell she didn’t want to talk to me. She never did.



“Um, Mom, I don’t know if you were listening at my graduation. Well, maybe you were… You know, what was said… About what happened to that kid who went to school up here and died. Jesse Capps.”



“Well, yes, Shane, I did listen,” she replied calmly. “It even made the news down here after they caught the killer. An older brother of a classmate, right?”



I decided to get it done with. “Mom, Jesse was my best friend. I can’t stand living up here anymore. It’s all too much. Can I please come home?”



There was a moment of complete silence, and I almost thought she’d hung up. “According to your father, you and this Jesse boy were more than just friends. Didn’t we talk about this in January? That was the whole reason you moved to Calberia. Why would I want you back here after that?”



Damn, I was crying again. “Because… I, uh… Mom, it’s complicated… I wish you…”



The more I tried to plod through an answer, the more I sounded like a whiny kid. I gathered my wits about me to work at sounding lucid. “Because I’m your son, and you’re supposed to love me, even when I mess up.”



She gasped angrily at that, but just like with Dad, I needed to speak up in my defense. “I know you hate that I’m bi. It’s not like I moved up to Calberia with some devious plan to go against you, but I loved Jesse. I met him and fell in love with him. Now he’s gone, I’m stuck here and I can’t stand it.”

“What about college in three months?” she hedged. “You never did tell me what college you’ll be playing for.”



“I’m not going to a four-year college.” I held my breath, waiting for the yelling to start. I hadn’t wanted Mom to ever know of my change in plans, but at this point I was incapable of delaying the admission, even as a ruse to get me into her house.



“Why not, young man? You had better have kept up your grades…”



Oh my god, really? I’m having a mental crisis and she wanted to discuss grades. It was as if neither of my parents had a compassionate bone in their bodies. For fuck’s sake, my boyfriend was dead. Was it all about outward show with them or did they even love me in the slightest?



I was weary of backpedaling so why not spill my guts and give up all my dirty little secrets. I talked about my loneliness and how tough moving in the middle of the year had been, not that I hadn’t told her the same thing ten times already. I said my grades were excellent, straight A’s in fact, and despite the confusion with forms and addresses, I had been scouted. I had simply chosen to give up my scholarship.



“And of course this was all about your boyfriend, I’ll bet,” Mom scoffed. “So now he’s…”



“Mom,” I interrupted, defeated. “I don’t need your self-righteousness or another lecture. I’ve already heard them all. From coaches and scouts, my guidance counselor at school and Uncle Carl alike. All I want to know is whether I can move back home for awhile.”



“No. No, you can’t,” she yelled. “I thought I raised an intelligent young man but I guess not. I raised an idiot. Now that you have no scholarship or any way to go to a university next year, you will have to make due. I’m certainly not paying for you. It’s time you grew up even if it means learning from your mistakes the hard way.”



With that she hung up on me. I stood there for the longest time staring through my bedroom window as the sun went down, not seeing anything.



~*~~*~




On the following Tuesday I went back to work for my uncle. It was my first weekday out on the boats, and I threw myself into doing my best. The crews must have learned that Jesse was special to me and gave me condolences like he was family. He was. My family. Except for Carl and Elaine, my only family.



Staying busy kept my mind off my loss, at least temporarily. It all sneaked up on me at times when Jesse’s face would skim across my brain and the grief would overpower me, bringing me to tears. It seemed like I was crying all the time but I couldn’t stop. I knew it made those around me uncomfortable, and several times Carl sidled up to me and asked if I was alright. I wiped my eyes and nodded, and he would ruffle my hair or put his arm around me in a reassuring way. He was giving me time, and I appreciated it.



Another couple of days went by, and I was feeling a deep need for closure. Honestly, there would never be real closure where Jesse was concerned. Mitchell would go to trial and probably be convicted. Years could pass and my life would slowly muddle on. But I would never forget Jesse or stop loving him. I didn’t want to forget him. I wanted to love him forever.



What I needed was something I couldn’t find wandering around Calberia. I wanted a chance to say goodbye in my own way. In a place that was special to both of us, aboard the Sorsha Lynn where we’d first made love more than two months ago. I knew all I had to do was ask Carl, and he’d probably let me take the boat out for an evening.



“Tomorrow night?” he asked when I made my request. “After the Santa Cruz diving charter?”



“Just for a couple hours,” I pleaded. “I’ll give you money for fuel, make sure she’s locked down tight and bring the keys by your house when I’m done. Please?”



Carl looked at me sharply, and I knew what he saw. I was a wreck, emotionally and physically. I couldn’t keep food down, and I’d lost a lot of weight in the past two weeks. My cheeks were hollowed out and my clothes didn’t fit right. I had no energy, and the only reason I was working was to get me out of the house and away from Dad. My eyes were dull and always burning, and my whole body shook in exhaustion and anguish because I only slept in short naps where longer periods of sleep eluded me. I’m sure Carl thought I was losing my mind.



He looked a little abashed and rubbed his ear. “Has your dad said anything about taking you to a therapist or psychologist? You have to be depressed with everything you’ve gone through.” I stared at him defensively. “No, Shane, listen to me. I know Ken doesn’t pay as much attention to you as he should, but you need to speak to someone professionally about Jesse.”



I wiped my eyes and tried to smile. “Let me think about it, Uncle Carl. I know you mean well. You’re probably right, and I’ll talk to Dad. But what about tomorrow night?”



“Okay, Shane,” he finally said in his slow drawl. “Tomorrow after we finish with the charter you can take the Sorsha Lynn out for a couple of hours. But remember we have a very busy day on Saturday with a large group of fishermen. I don’t want any delays. Understand?”



I nodded and smiled, thankful he trusted me. “I promise I won’t leave a mess.”



He slapped my shoulder in affection. “You’re a good kid, Shane. Remember that.”



The next day I had a hard time holding in my impatience to get the workday over. I was polite to the clients and crew, but there was this air of expectancy that buoyed me through the long hours. I think what fueled my anticipation was the belief that in our most intimate place I would finally be alone with Jesse for the first time since he left me.



It was eight o’clock and the pier where the Bayliner was tied, empty except for the birds and a few crabs on the pilings. I was almost ready to sail, having retrieved a backpack of essentials that were vital to tonight from my car. Surprisingly enough, all the accessories I’d taken on our special cruise two months before had been sitting in a satchel in my closet, untouched. I don’t know why I never unpacked it, but I guess it didn’t matter as long as I could use the same candles, listen to the same playlist and drink the Blue Moon beer that Jesse had bought for us.



Ninety minutes later I cut the boat’s engines and listened to the silence surrounding me. It was peaceful out here alone on the ocean. The trawler rocked gently in the water, and I could hear the faint slap of the current against the gunwales. The air smelled strongly of fish, salt and damp. I felt the sogginess of the mist blowing in the wind on my face, and I was cold standing on deck even though it was the first night of summer.



I was far beyond the shoreline, and tonight through the swirling fog I couldn’t see the distant lights coming on in the homes up in the hills above town. No stars either. Or maybe it was the tears spilling out of my eyes that kept blurring my vision. Not that I missed the twinkling points. Not that I wanted their cheer, it was just in passing that I noted the absence of any signs of life except me. Me and the Sorsha Lynn creaking in the swells.



I didn’t throw out an anchor. It was an odd thought. My anchor was missing, my Jesse. The boat didn’t need one either. If I could go rudderless for the night, so could my uncle’s ship. This was a special place for us and I had to be here. Like nobody would ever understand, this was where I felt closest to him. Where we’d first made love more than two months ago. I could surrender myself to his ghost—talk to him, cry for him, live with him without anyone judging me.



I wondered if Jesse was watching me shut down the engine and listen in the darkness for the stillness I knew would engulf me. If he would sustain me through the oncoming ordeal as I sought to remember and forget at the same time. Did he feel the agony of my loss inside me and know how I had cried for him every day since his murder? I even cried in my sleep, finding no peace in my dreams. Jesse, oh Jesse…



I stepped down into the galley, crossed it and quickly entered the stateroom. The scene of the crime, so to speak, if falling in love could be considered that. I guess to people like Mitchell and my parents it was. I thought of the pack of items from April and it felt like eons ago. I remembered thinking that the candles, the rose and the music would woo Jesse and entice him to know that I was his forever. That he was mine. Funny how forever had such a short fuse.



Digging into the bag I came up with a handful of dried rose petals. I was not aware that the rose I gave Jesse ended up inside, but it felt like a deeper sense of déjà vu. I set the candles all around the berth, using the drips of candle wax on the surfaces to guide me. I guess Uncle Carl had not been in the stateroom since Jesse and I took the trawler out or he didn’t notice the leftover drops of wax. I set up my iPod and brought up my favorite playlist, including the songs Jesse and I loved by The Offspring. The first loaded song, Want You Bad, Jesse’s favorite, wailed from the speakers.



If you could only read my mind…



The sheet we’d used to cover the bed was still in a wad in the bottom of the bag and I brought it out in amazement and then felt stupid at my surprise, as if I’d forgotten its existence. Spreading it out over the bed, my fingers touched the stiffness of the semen stains, and I nearly lost it in paroxysms of grief. My Jesse and me, our mixed essence spotting the fabric like a gift to remember us by. I held the roughness against my cheek. I cried harder, if that was even possible, wetting the cotton with my tears.



Checking the bag again, searching frantically, no? Yes, Jesse’s brown t-shirt that we had used to wipe our bodies down after we made love, the one from the Broken Wings tour, was at my fingertips. Bunched up and enclosed in the tiny, airless space of the bag, the musky mingling of Jesse’s sweat and his sweet scent wafted around me when I shook it out, and I almost screamed in delightful relief. I lifted the shirt to my nose and inhaled sharply. If I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly, letting the music rise and swell around me, I could almost imagine…



I smoked a blunt one of my crewmates had given to me on Monday to calm my nerves and took my time drinking three of the last Blue Moons, Jesse’s favorite beer. Vaguely I heard Denial, Revisited blasting in the background. A piece of me felt like I was floating and I welcomed the sensation. It allowed all the good times to come back like the favorite melody of a song on our playlist.



My first glimpse of Jesse’s magnificence across the patio at the high school five months ago, and the day he first talked to me with his beautiful voice and learned I wasn’t his stalker. How we gazed at each other with joy and excitement from across that table in the library. The feel of his muscular body in my arms that same night when he came over to my house. The wonder of undressing his golden brilliance, the way the light emphasized every single pore until I was lost in him. Making love over and over and over, different days, different locations but each one a masterpiece. The plans we’d made to go to Hope Ranch and transfer to a university where I could take him with me before living the rest of our lives and be together always.



And if you go I won’t believe that it’s forever. And you can go, but I’ll never leave ’cause it’s not over.



There were the not-so-pleasant memories too, ones that made me cringe. How afraid I was at school to show him affection because I didn’t want news to get back to my father that I was sleeping with a guy. I remembered him wanting to go to prom with me as his date, and the sadness in his eyes when I said no, again because of my selfishness. I refused to acknowledge his pride in me or allow him to give me the strength I needed. I left him to bear the stalker burden alone except for making demands and getting angry at him. And then that final night when we wasted all that time fighting about his insistence in seeing me; a moot point since he was already there. Had I just shut up and let it go, maybe he would have left earlier, and maybe he never would have encountered Mitchell.



My throat ached, and my eyes felt shriveled up, feverish with torment. Stripped down to my bare skin to lay back against our sheet covering the bed, my mind just spinning from one dream to the next and feeding myself on the best memories of him. Michael Buble’s I’m Your Man started up in the iPod, and I smiled in recollection. The night of the Fine Arts Presentation at school when Jesse had danced and lip-synced this song directly to me, showing the world that he was my man and I was his.



If you want a lover I’ll do anything you ask me to. And if you want another kind of love I’ll wear a mask for you. If you want a partner take my hand, or if you want to strike me down in anger, here I stand… I’m your man.



Slowly at first, then frantically, I began to jack off to the song, my nose pressed against the softness of his shirt as I drank in his scent. The Cool Water cologne that was uniquely Jesse and smelled so much better on him. I felt the pull of my hand against my rigid, slick cock and recalled Jesse’s soft lips taking me into heaven, the way he knew exactly how hard to suck and his gentle fingers sliding around my balls. I could believe he was there, could feel him all around me, and I wanted to live in a universe where Jesse was my lover and we would always be together.



His lips, his wet, sucking mouth, those golden eyes that would look up at me in adoration as he blew me and the black hair falling into his face that I’d smooth back and run my fingers through. Holding onto his face tightly when I could no longer stop the orgasm that crested over me in fierce waves, and he’d drink me down like I was the essence of life he needed for survival.



Just as now as I felt my balls lifting, the roiling of my burning seed inside traveling up my shaft. Like catching the tail end of an emotional comet riding high before plunging into obliteration. With uncontrollable snaps of my hips, I was spurting all over myself and crying out.



“Jesse,” I sobbed over and over, my heart tearing from my chest in miserable ecstasy. “Jesse.”



Then it was done, and the rapture was gone, leaving the desolation. I hated him for leaving me, and I hated that his death made me angry and for blaming him. I knew it was Mitchell’s fault but at the same time, it was all so senseless how Jesse didn’t have to die. If he’d only listened to me he might still be alive. If only I had obeyed that tiny voice inside me whispering that this would end tragically.



Ah, the moon’s too bright, the chain’s too tight, the beast won’t go to sleep. I’ve been running through these promises to you that I made and I could not keep…



On top of everything, I had to ask why? Why Jesse? Why us? For the first time in my life I had someone to care for who cherished me back. I was finally in love and happy. Understood and protected by this man who wasn’t afraid to adore me and made me believe in a forever commitment. He listened to me and made me feel important, and I appreciated him in the same way because we complimented each other.



But amid the love and acceptance he gave me, self-loathing bloomed. I felt such deep guilt that I had done nothing about the threatening letters until it was too late. I wasn’t there to protect Jesse from Mitchell, and I was furious over the fucking unfairness of it all. I wished it had been me who died. Why not me instead of Jesse, my shining star? Why, when I couldn’t live without him?



His death left me hollow inside. Just empty with no way to fill the void.



I used a clean corner of the sheet to wipe the drying cum from my chest and stomach and then put Jesse’s shirt back over my nose so that every breath I took in was of him. The Offspring’s Gone Away switched on, and in anguish I turned my wet eyes to stare at a glowing candle as it melted its way into my eye sockets.



I reach to the sky and call out your name, and if I could trade I would. And it feels, and it feels like heaven’s so far away. And it stings, yeah it stings now. The world is so cold now that you’ve gone away.



~*~~*~




The next morning…



“Base?”



An earnest young man with close cropped brown hair and an eager-to-please attitude sat at his radio console, his headset in place. He was a seaman with the US Coast Guard in a cutter off the coast of California, and his hard-boiled captain stood over him listening intently. The kid was still learning.



“Base,” the radioman repeated. “This is the USS Coast Guard Cutter Bayonne, WYP51429 out of Santa Barbara, come in?”



“Go ahead, Bayonne, over.”



“Base, we are approximately ten nautical miles north by northwest of your position. We received a report at 0-seven-thirty this morning about a missing trawler, a Bayliner 3388, vessel number YHSG4916, the Sorsha Lynn out of Calberia. The vessel has been located, drifting and unoccupied at our position.”



“Say again, Bayonne.”



“Bayliner 3388, vessel number YHSG4916, stated as the Sorsha Lynn is at our position. It was drifting and appears to be abandoned. Vessel has been searched, showing signs of recent occupation, but no violence noted. The dinghy is still attached.”



“Stand by, Bayonne.”



“Standing by.”



The young radioman sat back in his chair and looked up at his captain who nodded at him, pleased by his responses.



“Sir?” A midshipman appeared next to the two military men waiting for permission to speak. The captain nodded at him.



“Sir,” the midshipman stated. “One of the weighted buoyancy control devices is missing.”



The captain looked at the two men sadly and sighed, his heart heavy with regret. He didn’t want to say what he was thinking to his subordinates, but in his long military experience certain signs stood out sometimes, and this was one of them.



The radio squawked.



“Bayonne, addition information received on the Sorsha Lynn, Bayliner 3388 YHSG4916 out of Calberia. Owner Carl Weatherby reports vessel was allegedly taken with permission by his nephew, Shane Elliott, age eighteen, at approximately twenty hundred hours last night. Mr. Elliott was supposed to return the vessel to port and return the keys to him. He has not been heard from since. Mr. Weatherby says he has been despondent over the recent death of a close friend, and the family is concerned about him.”



The seaman got back on the horn. “Base, I repeat, Mr. Elliott is not on board the Sorsha Lynn but we have reason to believe he was. Would advise that a search and recovery dive team be sent to our location…”



~*~~*~




To my readers: not every story has a happy ending, and some of you are probably angry with me right now for doing this to the boys. Believe me, it made me cry as the author to write the scenes of Jesse’s death and afterwards, so I know how you’re feeling. Thinking about how hatred and intolerance shapes our world I hope one day we find a better way. If you need that HEA and believe in an afterlife, keep reading.



Beyond the Cosmos…



“Shane, what are you doing here?”



The inquisitive voice came from off to my right and behind me and, while the speaker was so far invisible, I knew who it was. I was in a warm place where although there was no bright, white light like I’d been taught as a child, I could still see. I felt at peace, with no hunger or thirst, none of the terror or pain of my final moments on earth. Up until now I had been a little overwhelmed, but hearing Jesse speaking calmed me down considerably. I smiled, feeling lighthearted and tranquil now that he had found me.



Even as an idea of creating some answer that wouldn’t make me sound fucking pathetic flickered randomly through me, I found that I had no option but to be completely truthful. There’s no lying in the afterlife.

I received so much feedback from readers upset by the death of my main characters that I decided to write this alternate ending for those of you who wanted a live Happy Ever After for Jesse and Shane. I apologize to anyone who was shocked by my first ending, although I stand by it since tragedy is a part of our lives. This is for you and takes up where Chapter 4 ends so some of it was covered in the original Chapter 5. Enjoy.



~*~~*~




I woke up the following morning before my alarm clock went off feeling well rested.



I shouldn’t have been surprised really. The Fine Arts Presentation ended before nine, and Jesse’s mother wanted him to go directly home. Without any opportunity to be alone, especially under the gaze of his family, all he and I could do was speak in general terms. I offered my praise for the good work he’d done on stage in his drama presentations and dances. He thanked me for showing up, and even his eyes were silent lest he give any of his feelings away. There was some lingering curiosity from our fellow-students, but neither of us was inclined to further entertain them by displaying our affection publicly. Our stares across the parking lot spoke our regret for us, and then he was gone.



My dad’s house was… no surprise… dark. It was odd being home at this time of night with nothing to do, so I used the occasion to study for my upcoming finals. We seniors had to take them early due to next week’s graduation and all the end-of-year activities. Jesse sent me a good night text, and I went to bed early enough to get a full eight hours of sleep.



So here I was, awake and thinking about Jesse’s dance from last night and wondering if it was going to change my life here in Calberia. Should I worry or be happy about it? For once I had behaved fearlessly and didn’t worry over who knew or what the other students had seen and interpreted. Also with Jesse’s family in the audience, it was as if he was announcing his intentions loud and clear, and I wished that courage could carry over so that I was able to proudly introduce him as my boyfriend to my family. But… just no.



Not for the first time I reflected how much easier my life would be if Jesse was female. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m glad he’s a man. I adore his lithe body with all its masculine parts as much as I appreciate how we can be dirty and nasty together. Two male friends who don’t have to worry about offending more sensitive ears with our jokes and bullshitting. I enjoy being with him as two men in love, but there’s no getting around the fact that if Jesse had been a girl I wouldn’t need to tiptoe around my father. And it was going to get worse before it got better.



I was in an almost impossible situation where, as my living arrangements stood now, I’d probably never be able to do anything other than hide my attraction for Jesse and skulk around to see him, all the while afraid of detection. At least Uncle Carl had added me as a full-time employee over the summer so leaving high school in a week would allow me to cram as many hours on his boats as I could get. Jesse was looking for work too, and I might even have to take on a second job to earn enough money to move out. That was the goal, but once college started in the fall, taking a full load of classes, playing football for the Hope Ranch team and working full time was going to be exhausting. Frankly, I couldn’t see how I’d manage, but in order to live openly with my boyfriend, I would have to find a way.



I arrived at school and very little seemed to have changed for Jesse and me, although we caught a few inquisitive glances. I think our classmates were waiting for us to take the first step, and that we didn’t made some of them second guess what they had witnessed at the FAP. Maybe, they rationalized, Jesse had been actually staring at one of the girls sitting behind me, not at me directly. Possibly my intense scrutiny was due to him being my best friend.



It was a quiet day… until I trotted into the parking lot after the bell rang to find Jesse leaning tensely against his Cherokee reading what looked suspiciously like another stalker note. He hadn’t even heard me approach and jumped when I put my hand out to take it from him. He listened sheepishly when I read out loud.



“Haf fun w/Ur faggot boy 4 now but Ur days are #’d.”



I felt myself go pale. Of the twelve or so threats that Jesse had received over the last four and a half months, this was the first one to ever mention me.



“He must have been at the FAP last night,” Jesse whispered in anguish. “He saw me sing to you and that’s why he’s dragging you into my problem now. I’m so sorry, Shane.”



I shook my head and resisted balling the note in my fist because all of them were evidence against this wacko asshole. “I don’t care about that, Baby. What I care about is getting this guy locked up or whatever it takes so he can’t bother you anymore.”



He didn’t answer me, and I pressed him. “Are you scared now?”



I looked into his pale brown eyes and saw it. He was frightened, but not for himself. For me. Good enough, I’d use it if he was finally willing to talk to someone in authority about the harassment.



“Let’s go see Mr. Peabody right now,” I suggested, knowing the principal was still in his office. “Get the ones out of your locker. I’ll back you up, okay?”



“I can’t today,” Jesse answered, taking the note back from me and folding it into his binder. “I promised my sister I’d come home right after school because she needs me to watch my nephew for a few hours. She has to go to Santa Barbara and buy a textbook for a summer class at the university she’s enrolled in.”



I sighed, hoping this wasn’t one of Jesse’s avoiding tactics again. “Can’t she postpone? This is important.”



Jesse paused in thought, and for a fraction of a second I actually believed he might do it. Then his face fell. “No, I don’t want to ask her to put it off. This can wait one more day.”



“Alright, but remember, you promised so we talk to him no later than tomorrow.”



He smiled, and I swear, the look he threw me was self-satisfied, like he’d once again bargained his way out of trouble. I didn’t want to snap at him and start another argument, but even scared about the threats, he wasn’t going to do anything about them unless I forced him. I was tired of it all. Mostly I was tired of being scared too.



Jesse and I had decided not to see each other that evening. Jenna, his sister, was known for changing plans at the last minute, especially if she had a willing babysitter for her son. Her errand of a few hours could magically expand into running into friends on campus and deciding to go out for dinner and a movie. As for me, it was one of the few nights when I didn’t know my father’s plans ahead of time, so he might arrive home right after work or he might spend the night with his girlfriend. Even if he hadn’t been my boyfriend, it wouldn’t be wise to have Jesse in the house alone with me should Dad bother to show up.



It was 7:30 and my mind was fully engaged in studying for a difficult 2nd period Trigonometry final I would be taking on Thursday, two days away. I had solid A’s in every subject except math where my grade was teetering between a B-/C+, and if I got a high score on the exam I might even get an A- because of the extra credit I’d slaved over for two hours after school.



My phone lit up with an incoming call, and of course it was Jesse. “Watcha doing?” he chirped.



“Cramming for my Trig final.” I stretched out the kinks in my back.



“Is your dad home?”



“Hmm, I’m not sure,” I answered, suddenly curious. I stepped into the hall and listened to silence as I made my way to the living room to look through the blinds. Except for my Impala the driveway was empty.



“No. He must be with Jillian again.” Usually if my father wasn’t home by seven he wouldn’t be here at all.



“Why don’t I come over then and keep you company? Jenna got back an hour ago and I’m bored. Besides, we haven’t had a chance to spend any time together since last Friday.”



He was right about that. I’d worked all weekend for my uncle on the Sorsha Lynn, including a longer-than-usual charter up the Pacific coastline on Saturday where we didn’t put into port until almost nine o’clock. On Sunday he’d spent the evening with his family at some relative’s birthday party, and last night was the FAP. It had been four days since we’d made love.



Still, the day had been exhausting. I was tired and needed to study. “Not tonight, Jesse.”



“Ah, come on, Blondie. Just for a little while?”



We bickered back and forth while I tried to convince him how important the test was for me and why I needed so much study time for it. When we hung up I thought that was it. Fifteen minutes later I heard a knock on the front door at the same time that my phone buzzed again.



“It’s me outside,” Jesse crowed. “Let me in.”



Groaning inwardly I got up and opened the front door to find him lounging on the porch looking smug. “Hiya, Blondie. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to see you, so here I am.”



He tried to pull me into a hug and I stood there stiffly. To tell the truth, I was irritated that he wouldn’t take me seriously. He thought he could just come over when I specifically asked him to stay home.



Jesse pouted at me in fun. “Don’t tell me you’re mad,” he said, letting his voice drop seductively. He lifted his backpack off his shoulder. “See, I brought my books too. We can cram together.”



Yeah, like that was going to work. Except for the Brontë sisters project, every time we tried to get together to study, we ended up fucking or going down on each other. It was like we couldn’t be in the same room and keep our hands off each other without a chaperone.



I brought this up. “You know what will happen, Jesse. I wish you would listen to me when I’m trying to be serious and not override my decisions. I meant what I said about my Trig grade. I have to raise it.”



“I know something else you’re good at raising,” he smirked, looking down at the bulge in his jeans.



“See?” I exclaimed in frustration, turning and marching into my bedroom. “That’s exactly what I was talking about. Thanks, Jesse, you have proven my point.”



He followed on my heels, trying to keep from giggling. “I’m just yanking your chain. But honestly, what’s the deal with your math grade? You’re just going to a community college next year. You don’t need straight A’s.”



I was going to retort that the reason I wasn’t attending a university was because of him until I realized I was the one pushing Hope Ranch, not Jesse. My mouth snapped shut. Part of what he said made sense, but I had perfectionist tendencies, and getting a good grade in Trig was a challenge to me. It was a personal goal.



I made Jesse sit on the chair in front of my computer stand while I took the bed, and for a little while we did get some work done. Presently Jesse began to act restless.



“Hmm, I was wondering if you would mind waiting to tell the principal about the notes until after we finish finals on Monday. That’s only three extra days, and we’d be done with our testing so however he chooses to handle it won’t interfere with study.”



My head shot up. Okay, here we go again. I guess I should have known better than expect him to simply cave in to my suggestion for being the right thing to do, but seriously, the way he was stringing it out terrified me. Nearly vibrating in anger, I settled for giving Jesse a black look.



“Well hell, why settle for waiting for Monday? Why not until the day we graduate? Or even better, don’t tell anyone at all? Isn’t that what you’re after? Let’s keep this a big secret, and when some ass walks up to you in the parking lot and beats the shit out of you we can pretend like it was a fucking surprise.”



“Shane, that’s not what I meant…”



“Bullshit,” I shouted. “You are so full of it, Jesse. I worry about you every single day. That some whacked out creeper is out there waiting to hurt you, and la-de-da, it’s nothing to you. Just give up some of your macho pride for a change and let someone who has experience with this kind of thing help you instead of carrying it by yourself.”



“But there is so much going on for the end of school.”



“Not tomorrow there isn’t,” I pointed out. “It’s a normal school day. You can talk to Mr. Peabody either before or after school and get it over with. Just think of how good it’s going to feel to get the weight off your back once you do.”



He nodded but he wasn’t happy. I put my book down and massaged my temples. I hated fighting with him, and with these threats, that’s all we ever did anymore.



“Come here.” I scooted over and patted the bed beside me. Yeah, this was going to lead to make-up sex. Or at least, remind-Jesse-that-I-loved-him-and-convince-him-that-I-knew-what-was-best-for-him sex.



He flew to my side and bounced, landing next to me. He kissed me softly on the lips. I kissed him gently back. Then he crushed me to him tightly, and we shoved our tongues inside open mouths to dance together.



Kissing and touching, we had each other undressed in record time. We stretched out next to each other, our bodies slithering together in joyous abandon, all the parts meshing and creating friction that aroused both of us into sweaty, panting, primitive beings. After the lapse of four days, after the stress of the notes and studying and particularly after fighting, I needed to be inside Jesse and show him he was still mine forever.



“I want to suck you,” he husked, tears in his eyes because the need was his own as well. “Please.”



I reached up and gently wiped the tears away, giving him a smile of contentment. Flattening myself on top of the sheets, I spread my legs for him.



His mouth was so wonderfully warm as his lips circled the head of my cock and his tongue lapped at me. He hollowed his cheeks to suck precum from my slit and I swore I saw stars behind my eyelids. Sliding his lips over my balls to pull on them made my groin lift off the bed in rhapsody, and when he began to bob over me, he took the tip almost into his throat before gagging. I could feel his whole mouth stretching for every millimeter of my shaft, and my tingling nuts told me that if he kept this up I was going to cum in his mouth.



“Enough,” I moaned. “It feels too damn good, Baby, and I won’t last much longer.”



Jesse and I exchanged positions, and I fetched the lube and a condom out of my drawer. Even hard and aching as I was, I took time to kiss and nibble all the sensitive parts of his body. That place on his throat just below the hollow and across his collar bones, his brown nipples that shrunk down into such cute little peaks and swirling my tongue in his belly button. He was whimpering and thrashing by the time I reached his ass.



A lubed finger found his rosebud and pushed inside. His channel gripped me in moist silkiness as I opened him up. With two digits I found his prostate and played tag with it, making Jesse moan and the lean muscles of his abdomen clench. I was turning him on with my sly little taps, and his body was humming and taut with anticipation by the time my third finger slipped in.



When Jesse was nearly to the point where the sensations were crashing into him more than he could stand, his eyes would rapidly shift back and forth under his lids and the muscles of his thighs and abdomen would tense. It wasn’t the same as orgasm, but it was a good non-verbal signal that he was tired of me teasing him and needed my dick up inside him.



He was there now, and I unrolled a condom on my erection and lubed up, shivering at my own light touch through the latex. I lifted his ankles to my shoulders and gently pushed against his bud through the muscular guardians into his tight, hot hole.



I knew exactly how long to lie still and allow him to adjust to me, and when he was ready he had a favorite way for me to seat myself. I rolled my hips into him and rotated at the same time.



“Oh god, Shane!” He dug his fingers into my shoulder and moaned once I was fully in.



“What, it doesn’t feel good?” I joked hoarsely, teasing him because I loved hearing the answer. I pushed his blue-black hair out of his sparkling latte eyes.



“Oh shit, Blondie, you know it does… it feels so damn good.”



I pulled his legs down and he wrapped them around my thighs, laying himself open for me to plunder. My hips surged forward, in and out of his velvety soft chute. I stared into his eyes, afraid to lose this contact with him and loving the expression of bliss on his face. Harder I drove into him, each jab raking his prostate as he lifted his hips to meet me. I watched shudders race through him.



I reached between our bodies and took his dick in my hand. Stroking it expertly, I watched Jesse’s eyes roll back in his head. “Oh fuck, ooh, Blondie,” he shouted, and he went off like a geyser, spraying cum all over our torsos. His ass clasped around my dick convulsively, and I rode right over the edge with him, streaming cum into the condom with a crescendo of groans, panting gasps and writhing limbs.



“Are you alright?” Jesse asked me after I tossed the condom in the trash and collapsed next to him. “It got pretty wild at the end.”



“I’m always wild around you,” I wheezed. “You drive me wild.”



He snickered. “Flattery will get you everywhere. But we are pretty good together, aren’t we!”



“Perfect is more like it. I love you Jesse.”



“I love you too, Shane.”



We cuddled and kissed, homework forgotten. As usual, I wished he could spend the night with me, knowing we could make it happen if it weren’t for curfews and parental rules. I didn’t want him to go home because I hated sleeping by myself, but all too soon the point was reached where Jesse was going to get in trouble if he stayed any longer. We redressed and I walked him out to his Jeep. We made out for a few minutes of long, sensuous goodnight kisses that would have to suffice for now, and then I headed in for bed.



~*~~*~




By the time school started the next day I was no longer angry at Jesse for visiting me the night before. It was pointless to hold a grudge and stay mad. We also continued to pretend like his performance at the FAP was just that… an act. I really think the students were much too busy getting ready for finals and the end of the school year to bother with us, and that suited me just fine. The upcoming week was going to be stressful.



Jesse was subdued for most of the day, and I was waiting at his Jeep when he strolled across the parking lot. Before he even had a chance to greet me I spoke up. “Grab the notes and let’s go.”



With a discontented sigh he reached into his backpack and pulled out the zip-lock bag. “I already have them.”



We went to the administration office. Mr. Peabody’s secretary was tidying up her desk, looking as if she was preparing to leave. “We’d like to see the principal please,” I spoke up when Jesse didn’t.



“He’s in an important meeting,” she said, smiling as she continued to shuffle paperwork. She grabbed a notepad. “I can set up an appointment for you tomorrow if you’d like.” She pursed her lips as if trying to place us. “You’re seniors, aren’t you? How about right after your 2nd period final?”



Jesse was just about to agree when I broke in. “Look, this is really important. Can we wait until he’s done?”



“Well, I don’t know…”



Between the almost grateful look on my boyfriend’s face, thinking he’d freed himself from my influence, and the predicament of more waiting I was ready to explode. “My friend here has a whole baggie full of harassing notes that have been left in his locker and car since the beginning of the semester. Some homophobic creeper is threatening to hurt him. We can’t wait until tomorrow.”



Now the woman was paying attention. “Let me see them,” she ordered, and Jesse reluctantly withdrew the bag from his bag. She sorted through them, reading several, and her face turned pale. “Have a seat, boys.”



She picked up her telephone, pressed a button and quietly said, “Mr. Peabody, I’m sorry but I need to interrupt you. We have a situation you need to deal with immediately.”



Leaving us in the waiting area she disappeared through a door behind her. A few minutes later she emerged with the principal who also looked agitated. Several teachers stepped around him, eying us carefully before heading off in various directions. “Boys,” the administrator said, sweeping up his arm to encompass us. “Please come into my office.”



Jesse was still acting like this was a waste of his time, so when we were finally seated in front of the principal I took the lead in explaining the letters. I told him everything: how Jesse had originally suspected me because of the timing of my starting week of school coinciding with the first note and how worried I was that this wasn’t an innocent hoax. By the expression on Mr. Peabody’s face, he didn’t think so either, and presently we were joined by two County sheriff’s deputies, Officer Erickson of the near-arrest fame being one of them.



He smirked at us as he walked in, and I gulped loudly, hoping our case wouldn’t be diminished due to our prior contact. I could hear Jesse’s teeth chattering even though it wasn’t cold in the office. But Erickson, like the other officer, became deadly serious when he learned of the situation and read the notes. Shortly later we were joined by a detective who announced he was in charge of the case. So it was a case now. Thank God.



“This last message,” Erickson said, looking up at Jesse and me. “The one referring to the ‘faggot boy’; is he referring to you?” He stared at me expecting an answer even though he already knew it.



Even though my stomach clenched in anxiety, I had to face up to it. “Yes sir, Jesse’s my boy.”



They conferred. “Do you think both boys are in danger?” the detective questioned his cohorts calmly.



Oh shit. The principal had already called Jesse’s mother and she was on her way to school. The last thing I needed was for them to contact my dad too. “You can’t get my father involved,” I begged. “Focus on Jesse. They aren’t after me.”



The other cop was staring at me and I think he understood the meaning behind my words. “Okay, Shane, but if you notice anything strange or you start getting notes, you must let us know immediately.” I nodded in relief.



Of course, when Jesse’s mother arrived she was fully informed and allowed to examine the warnings in all their homophobic glory. She didn’t make one negative remark about Jesse gay and didn’t even act surprised. It was exactly as he claimed after the prom; it was like she already knew.



“I found out you were gay when you were sixteen,” she addressed Jesse, wiping a smudge of dirt off his face. “Maybe I should have told you then, but I wanted you to be ready to share it with me, not feel forced.”



“I thought you knew last month when Shane picked me up for prom and you insisted on taking our picture,” he smiled. “I was getting ready to tell you. I was worried about Grampa finding out and getting mad.”



Sandra laughed. “He knows too. You can’t hide that sort of stuff from him, Jesse. His body might not work the way it should but his mind is as sharp as a tack. And it’s okay; as you can see he isn’t angry either.”



His mother addressed me with a loving grin. “So you are Jesse’s boyfriend. Even if I didn’t know he was gay, I knew he had someone important in his life. The past four months are the happiest he’s been since he was little. I see joy every day in his eyes so I know you two love each other.”



Both Jesse and I blushed in embarrassment at her enthusiastic affirmation, and I nodded, delighted over the way his family accepted him. In fact, I was a little jealous, but now was not the time to reflect on what my parents didn’t give me that his did. I was enveloped in a big hug from her, and her eyes so much like Jesse’s told me everything. She was happy for us.



Ms Capps had explained that Jesse had talked to her in April about the notes but didn’t seem overly upset by them. She was somewhat irritated that he’d hidden the extent of the threat from her, but everyone agreed how it being out in the open made Jesse a lot safer. Hopefully less of a target too, although nobody could guarantee it yet. Another definite benefit was how the cops’ direct questions and demeanor finally impressed upon Jesse that maybe he shouldn’t have been so nonchalant over them. Whatever. I was just happy that someone would be watching out for him in the future. Maybe now they’d catch the bastard.



Three hours later we were released with a series of instructions of what to do and not to do. A cop was going to the Capps’ home to look into security, and a deputy would be swinging by on a regular basis to stake out the area in case someone was hanging around. Jesse was advised not to go anywhere without a companion, and I volunteered to take him back and forth to school. Mark Butler and his friends were going to be questioned, and of course, if he received another note he was to let someone know immediately.



Officer Erickson said for us to go about our lives as normally as possible. If one of our classmates approached us about the notes, it was fine for us to acknowledge their existence and tell a detective. Maybe one of them had information that would prove useful. Above all, he told Jesse, don’t take chances and pay attention to his surroundings.



“I told you so,” was all I said as I passed through the door. I knew that mocking him would hurt his feelings, and where was triumph in that? I followed my words with a quick kiss, knowing that the campus was empty of students and I was safe. Separating in the parking lot where a deputy waited to escort him home, I headed out in the opposite direction to eat dinner and study. We texted each other all evening.



‘I’m sorry for doubting you,’ he sent me along with a smiley face.



‘It’s okay’, I messaged back. ‘You’re safe- that’s what matters.’



Our first two finals were the following morning, and we seniors only had half a day of school. We were strolling out to my car at noon when Mark Butler put himself in our path.



“What the fuck, Capps,” he demanded. “You sent the cops after me? You really are a…”



Jesse’s normal self-normal self-confidence failed him right then and he backed up in fear. I immediately jumped in to defend him. “Jesse has been getting threatening notes in his locker and on his car. The cops asked if anyone was harassing him and your name came up. If you don’t have anything to hide…”



Mark’s mouth dropped open in shock. It was the way that he looked at the both of us, like this news was the last thing he expected. However, a second emotion quickly passed through his eyes that was inscrutable and I was immediately wary, particularly when his guard went back up in a way that reminded me of a hunted animal.



“Come on,” I told Jesse. “Let’s go.” I could feel Mark’s eyes on our backs as we walked away.



“What’s that about?” he asked, half turning around.



I grabbed his arm. “Don’t look at him,” I ordered. “Call the detective when you get home.”



We drove into Santa Barbara and got tacos for lunch before I went back with Jesse to his house. Now that he was out to his family we didn’t have to hide our relationship, and I spent the afternoon watching a DVD with him in his living room. Half an hour after I arrived his grandfather shuffled out of his bedroom.



“Hi, Grampa,” Jesse greeted him in a level tone of voice, but I could see his mouth tighten as if he expected to be scolded. “How are you feeling today?”



“Fine, Jesse-boy,” he said. The tall man gazed at me without expression. “So this is your friend.”



“This is Shane,” Jesse corrected. “He’s my best friend and my…”



“Boyfriend,” Mr. Capps smiled. “I don’t mean to be rude, but whatever you are, be proud of it, Jesse.” He stared at me again, and I saw a grin edging his mouth. “I don’t bite.”



“Boyfriend,” I confirmed, hopping up to shake his hand. He pumped mine warmly in both hands.



We talked a little while longer as Jesse’s grandfather asked me about classes and graduation. He was happy to hear I played football and would be going to the same college as Jesse. After about half an hour he looked tired and Jesse helped him back to bed.



I ended up staying for dinner, but we had another day of finals the following morning so I left at seven. As I pulled away from the Capps home a police cruiser appeared and stopped at the house. The sheriff’s office was doing its job keeping Jesse safe.



Friday was all about our second set of finals and graduation practice in the afternoon. I worked for Uncle Carl over the weekend, and Jesse and I were only able to stay in touch by cell phone, too busy to see each other. Monday was a duplicate day of Friday.



Jesse was never without me or a family member by his side except when he was in class where he wasn’t exactly alone either. Still, after five days, there had been no break on the case, but then, Jesse hadn’t received another note either.



Dad was supposed to go to Jillian’s after work on Monday night, and Jesse got permission to come over to my house after our rehearsal. I made him pasta for dinner and we talked about our graduation in three days. Classes were over for the both of us, and it was like a load off our shoulders. I couldn’t wait for Thursday when we left high school forever and celebrated with a night at Disneyland.



We were cleaning up dinner when I heard a car door slam outside. Looking through the living room window I saw my father and Jillian approach the front door. Shit!



“What do I do?” Jesse asked, a an expression of dread gracing his face.



There was no time for any deception on my part and I shrugged. Dad knew Jesse was my best friend if he remembered me mentioning his name, and I could only hope for the best.



Dad appeared startled by Jesse’s presence. I tried to play it cool. We were both fully dressed, and the Xbox and two of my video games were on the living room floor, indicating the innocuous way we’d spent our afternoon. There shouldn’t have been any trouble unless Dad chose to be an asshole.



Unfortunately…



He glared at the both of us. “Is this the boyfriend?” he demanded angrily.



My eyes flew open wide, and Jesse backed up before his wrath. Jillian glanced at the three of us uncertainly.



What. The. Hell.



“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, a drop of sweat trickling down my spine.



“Don’t lie to me,” my father scoffed, taking a menacing step towards me. “I have friends in the sheriff’s substation who informed me that some kid at your high school is being harassed because he’s gay. Your name came up in the report, Shane. So I want the truth. Is this your boyfriend?”



I took a big breath and let it out slowly. There didn’t seem to be any way out of this, and my father wouldn’t believe me even if Jesse wasn’t my lover. I might as well get it out in the open.



“Yeah, he is. This is Jesse.”



My father moved in my direction and I saw him raise his fist as if he was going to strike me. “Ken,” Jillian screeched, lunging at him desperately and grabbing his hand. “Don’t you dare hit Shane. Use our head and think about the repercussions.”



He struggled against her for a few minutes before giving up. “Repercussions?” he jeered. “Okay, try this, Shane. As of tomorrow you find a new place to live.”



Embarrassed at being scolded in front of Jesse and distressed over being kicked out… again… by a parent, I bristled and I could feel how close I was to losing my cool. “Oh, that’s just great. I graduate in three days and you’re kicking me out with no place to go. What the hell is wrong with you people?”



Dad pulled against Jillian’s restraining grip, and she flashed me a look that said I was pushing it to engage my father in an argument. She didn’t agree with him but they had been together long enough for her to recognize the warning signs of a full-blown temper tantrum.



“Wrong with us?” Dad glared at me as if I’d grown a second head. “What the hell is wrong with you? How many times have I told you not to fuck around like this in my house?”



“Fuck around?” I asked, heedless of his anger, keeping my anger cloaked in a deadly calm tone. “All we’re doing is eating dinner and playing video games.”



“Don’t be stupid. You know perfectly well what I mean. Do you honestly think I don’t know what goes on here when I’m not home? You and your cocksucking boyfriend…”



Jillian gasped, and Jesse’s eyes went wide as he began to tremble. I took two steps sideways to place myself between them. If Dad got a notion to start hitting again I didn’t want Jesse to bear the brunt of his anger.



“Jesus, Dad,” I shouted. “I’m bi. That’s all. I’m not sick, I’m not perverted, and I didn’t do anything to make myself this way. So what if I’m in love with Jesse. We aren’t hurting anybody. Why do you have act so ignorant? You and Mom both.”



“Why you…” He tried to interrupt, but I refused to let him say anything. My breathing was coming out in harsh gasps, and I could feel my eyes begin to water. My voice was squeaking several octaves higher than I normally spoke, but I was on a roll.



All the pain, loneliness and despair over being dumped in Calberia with nobody in my corner that I had been holding inside of me for way too long needed release. And then to be treated as if I should worship my father and deny myself the love that Jesse was willing to give me was absurd. I was already getting kicked out of the house, so I had nothing to lose.



“Loving Jesse isn’t a crime any more than being bisexual means I’m a monster, so why does everyone hate on us so much? I’m committed to him and he’s the only one I’ve been with since I moved here.” I grabbed his hand, and I saw my father’s eyes bulge. “He loves me which is more than I can say about you and Mom. He is the kindest, most loving person I have ever met.”



“Well, you can take your boy-loving, faggoty ass out of here, do you understand?” Dad raged. “Grab whatever you need for tonight and leave the rest of your stuff. You can collect it later. Just get out.”



“Ken, don’t,” Jillian warned, but he wasn’t listening. In tears I dragged Jesse back to my bedroom to pack up a few items I knew I’d need over the next couple of days.



“Are you alright,” he asked, hugging me tenderly while I cried on his shoulder.



“Yeah,” I sniffed. I wrapped my arms around him and let go for a few minutes, allowing my tears to rid myself of every fucking thing my father had said and done to me over the past half a year.



Time was wasting. I raised my head to smile at Jesse tentatively and dried my eyes. He was worth every single drop of water, and we were going to be together. That was what mattered, and I didn’t have to hide anymore. I could live my life in the daylight and be proud to be Jesse’s boyfriend. Fuck my dad!



Ten minutes later I was ready to go. I passed Dad and Jillian, and her arms were crossed over her chest angrily. My father was doing everything possible to ignore her resentment. I didn’t even give him more than a glance as we rushed by, slamming the front door behind us. Part of me was even glad to leave. This house had never been a home. Not a real one.



“Oh my god,” Jesse breathed as soon as we rushed to my Chevy. “What are you going to do now?”



“I have no fucking idea,” I muttered, wiping my face. “I guess the first thing is to get you home.”



We drove across town with Jesse on his cell phone. I was in a daze and not paying much attention to him. We were turning on to his street when he spoke to me next.



“Mom says you can sleep on the living room couch for tonight,” he chirped. “Tomorrow we’ll figure out something else.”



I sighed, grateful for at least a temporary bed. Tomorrow I’d go see my uncle and see if he had any ideas.



It was fully dark when we pulled up to Jesse’s house and black as pitch in his front yard. Jesse sprang from my car before it even came to a complete stop, and I heard movement from nearby. Thoroughly unnerved already because of my father’s behavior, I turned off the ignition just as I became aware of a second person outside my vehicle.



“Hi, Jesse,” a garbled voice said from the passenger side. I screwed up my eyes to try to see the speaker but there wasn’t enough light.



“Mitchell,” Jesse drawled in surprise. “What are you doing here?”



As I reached for the door handle everything that Jesse had told me about this stranger coalesced in my mind. Mitchell Butler was Mark’s older brother who had enjoyed tormenting my boyfriend last year before he graduated. What the hell was he doing in Jesse’s front yard in the middle of the night?



“Delivering a message in person since you’re too stupid to take the ones I wrote seriously.”



The ones he wrote. The messages Mitchell wrote. With instant clarity I realized that Mitchell was the penman of Jesse’s threatening letters. I spilled out of my car as fast as I could move, nearly tripping on the uneven dirt driveway in my haste to protect my boy.



“Get away from him,” I shouted wildly. “Leave Jesse alone.”



For some strange reason, Mitchell was not paying attention to the fact that my car had to have a driver. Like Jesse had been transported home by some kind of space-age auto-navigation device. At the sound of my voice he pivoted, stunned into suspension and giving us precious seconds.



At the same time my cry had been heard and alerted the occupants of the house because the front door of the house crashed open. There stood Jesse’s mother bathed in the light of the living room accompanied by a stocky young man a couple of years older than us. He pushed past her, slamming his body against the screen door on a dead run towards us.



Jesse took a longer time to digest the meaning behind Mitchell’s threat, but at last it dawned on him that his safety was at stake and he moved back a few paces from the older boy just in time. I was already on their side of the Chevy about four yards away when I saw the flash of a knife in Mitchell’s hand.



“Run Jesse,” I yelled, and he bolted around me.



It was just enough to distract Mitchell. Less than a second later, the sturdy person from the house tackled him, taking him to the ground easily. Caught off guard, he dropped the knife and I kicked it away before I leapt on him too. In rage, my fists gave way and I pummeled him thoroughly, all the pent up anxiety of five months of terror behind them.



“Whoa, Superman,” the other man cautioned with a grin, capturing my hands. “I think you got him.”



I looked down and Mitchell was out cold. Already my adrenaline rush was dissipating; my knuckles had blood on them and were beginning to ache. Shit, I didn’t care, not if this was the maniac who had been threatening Jesse all this time, not if the ordeal was finally over.



As we sat on Mitchell and kept watch to make sure he didn’t threaten Jesse, Ms Capps’ telephone call connected her with the 911 operator. We were told a sheriff’s car would be dispatched right away. It was only a matter of minutes when a cruiser pulled up to investigate, and in the meantime I discovered the man who had valiantly thrown himself into protecting my boyfriend was his cousin, Chad.



So that was how Jesse’s stalker ended up getting arrested. Mitchell had some mental illness and drug use in his background, and he had been fixated on the younger boy all through high school. Upon graduation, he could no longer directly monitor what happened at school on a day-to-day basis, but he received enough information from his brother, Mark, who didn’t take kindly to Jesse’s vow to himself to stop letting people push him around.

BLAKE:



I was swimming alone in when I noticed he jumped in the lake and was slowly paddled toward me with his prefect white smile and beautiful brown eyes that were fixed directly on mine. I realized in that moment that I was in love with my friend. How it happened, I didn’t really know. Here we were on the Fourth of July with all of our close friends, swimming in a State Park lake when everything changed. No one else seemed to notice. I felt like my entire body was going to explode. It was the summer after graduation and I was suddenly head over heels in love….with Ashley? After what I did when we first dated, there is no way he will love me. What am I going to do? I want him to love me back! He is giving me a really odd look and a giant smile. He knows. I think he is feeling this too. Oh God, I think he may take me right here in public. I hope I don’t mess this up!



ASHLEY:



For the past few weeks I can’t stop thinking about Blake. Blake is one of my best friends. The truth is, with our history I never really thought I would think of him romantically ever again. Sure, he is really cute and his blue eyes are magical. But, it is Blake. One of the six friends I hang out with everyday. He and Nathan have been fucking for years and even after Nathan moved, I just never really thought about Blake other than as my friend. I do remember a fuckfest weekend with him after we first met but, that was ancient history. Really, he is my smart friend that was accepted in a Masters Degree program who likes politics and loves NPR. I just can’t stop looking at him.



Jason was in town for the holiday. At his suggestion, we all came to this State Park for the Fourth of July. I sat next to Blake on the drive down and I know I kept making my leg touch his. I have been flirting with him. What the hell is wrong with me? Thank God he is so clueless! Then there he was in the middle of the lake, all alone, in one of those stupid innertubes (blown up plastic rings) that Jason brought. I grabbed another innertube and paddled toward him. I can’t help but stare. Damn that boy is cute. His blond hair, perfectly straight smile, killer blue eyes and that is just what is above the water. I am staring at him and must look like a stupid fool. Is he really looking at me like that? I think he wants me too. I must be dreaming. No, he wants me and this connection is strong. Oh My God, Blake loves me! I smile so big, I can’t help it. I am actually in love with Blake!



BLAKE:



Ashley and I dated for about a month when we first met at college a few years earlier. I remember my roommate Nathan and I walking across campus checking out all the hot guys. This was our primary activity when not in class or fucking each other. When I spotted him coming down the library steps I nudged Nathan and said, “Look at that!” We both ogled the 6′ 2″ tall mixed race hottie and said a silent prayer that he was gay. A few days later, Nathan and I ran into him and his friend outside the Student Union. Our pray was answered as our collective gaydars were screaming at full alert. The four of us sat down on the luscious green grass and chatted. I was drawn to Ashley’s wide smile and near flawless lightly tanned skin. The only exception was a light scar just above his eyebrow. The imperfection was somehow sexy. After only a few minutes, I knew I wanted this guy to take me. Knowing Nathan, so did he. The question was who was going to get him?



The other problem was the fourth member setting on the grass. We had learned that Jason was Ashley’s best friend and on-again, off-again bisexual boyfriend from his hometown. At the moment, they were off-again. However, Jason clearly exhibited a subtle possession of Ashley when he saw how both Nathan and I were looking at him. In another situation, I am sure both Nathan and I would be fawning all over Jason. He was an attractive guy in the military with a tight body and taming a bisexual was a challenge either of us would enjoy. However next to Ashley, it was impossible for Jason to garner any more attention than politeness required.



After a few minutes, both Jason and Nathan had to leave for class. Both men were clearly displeased with the idea of leaving Ashley and I alone. When Jason stood he was the first to voice this displeasure when he said to Ashley “Weren’t you going to talk to your professor? She is in the building next to my class so we can walk together.”



Seemingly unaware of Jason’s true intention, Ashley looked up and said, “That’s ok, her office hours don’t start for another hour.”



Seeing that Jason’s attempt didn’t work, a still sitting Nathan cocked his head and said to me, “Blake, don’t you have a book that you need to return to the bookstore? You said today is the return deadline so I bet the line is going to be really long. I don’t want you to forget.”



I narrowed my eyes and saidsarcastically, “Thanks for your concern Nathan. I will make sure it gets returned.” I knew full well that my book return was the least of Nathan’s worries; he just wanted to make sure I didn’t get any private time with the new hottie.



Sharply turning his head to me Ashley excitedly responded, “Hey Blake, I have a few books to return too. I dropped this stupid Math class and want the money back. My parent’s paid cash so I can pocket it. Can I go with you?” Jason glared down at Nathan for providing me this great opportunity.



“Of course, that will make standing in line much more enjoyable.” I said with a huge smile as I shot a quick look at Nathan.



Stammering at the situation Nathan suggested, “We should all get together later. Why don’t you to come over to our apartment tonight?” Desperately trying to make sure he had another opportunity to bed Ashley.



“Sure, I would like to see your place.” Ashley said as he looked at me to answer Nathan’s question.



“Sound great. I have to go to class or I am going to be late.” Jason said with very little enthusiasm. There was no way he was letting Ashley go to our apartment alone.



With much regret, Nathan stood up to leave with Jason. He gave me a look that I knew meant ‘don’t you fucking touch him until I get a chance’. I just smiled feeling like a giddy schoolgirl and said, “See you guys later.”



As the two young men headed off to class, I smiled and looked at Ashley. He was staring at me and said, “You have a really beautiful smile and your eyes are so blue.” Without any control blood rushed to my face as I blushed. This exquisite man was complementing me. My smile grew larger as I looked into his slightly almond shaped brown eyes. I swear he had the perfect combination of every feature on Earth.



“I am not sure my smile or eyes can compete with yours.” I flirted back. With that, his smile widened until I could see every perfectly white tooth. This man had me.



Ashley stood up and offered his hand to help me stand. It was the first time I touched the beautiful man and electricity shot thru me. I actually needed his assistance since my knees went weak. Once I was standing, I hated that he broke our contact. When he released my hand, I knew my life would not be complete if I did not touch him again. We smiled and started walking across campus to the overpriced bookstore. We talked about our childhood and coming to terms with being gay. He asked how long Nathan and I had been together and I laughed. “Oh, we are just friends.” He showed me another wide smile and I felt my knees go week again. As we talked, I learned that Jason joined the Air Force and that had caused the problems between Ashley and Jason. Ashley wanted to live his life as an openly gay man and Jason could not. He explained that he and Jason talked about “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, the repressive policy was a compromise that first allowed gay people to serve in the military. It said Jason could “be gay” but Jason could not actually do anything that let others know he was gay. Ashley was tired of the secrecy and wanted to be openly loved. When I listened to Ashley talk, I started to have some compassion for Jason. His dream was to serve his country but the rules prevented him from openly being with Ashley. I, thankfully, was not bound by those rules.



Within an hour of talking to the beautiful man, I was captivated. When we stood in line at the bookstore, I could not resist asking him about the scar. I reached over and gently brushed it with my finger and asked, “How did you get that scar? It is so sexy.” Electricity shot thru my body as I touched the stunning man again. I blushed when I realized how forward I was being.



Ashley laughed then looked shy before he said,”It is really embarrassing. When I was 16 my 11 year old sister told me she was ‘in love’ with Jason; I got angry and I told her he was my friend and he would never be in love with her. She thru her Ken doll at me and it cut me right above the eyebrow. I started bleeding like crazy. My parents freaked out and took me to the emergency room. Turned out, I didn’t even need stitches. It was just a superficial cut. So I am a gay man with a scar on his head from a Ken doll. Embarrassing, don’t you think?”



“Thank God she didn’t throw an Easy Bake Oven, you might not be so hot today.” I joked.



Ashley smiled as he roughly said, “You think I am hot?”



Again my body betrayed me as I blushed every shade of red possible. “Yes, I do.” I said softly.



“You are pretty hot yourself. Would you like to go out with me?” Ashley said in a confident voice.



“Yes.” It was the only word I was allowed to say before the pushy cashier called for me as I was at the front of the return line. I returned my textbook and received money back on my debit card. I noticed Ashley was next to me talking to another cashier as he received a few hundred dollars in return for his books. I looked and him and wondered how I managed to get this sexy man to flirt with me. He smiled and winked at me. My knees went weak knowing he wanted me.



As we walked out of the bookstore, Ashley leaned over and kissed me for the very first time. My cock got rock hard. I thought “this is so fucking hot!” Although I was out, I was shocked at his public act. Once I felt those lips on mine, I wanted more.



Ashley and I said goodbye; he headed back to his dorm and I went back to my apartment with Nathan. When I drove home, I thought about how much fun I had with Ashley. Standing in line to return something is never fun but, today I wish the line would have been longer. I could not wait to see him again. Thankfully, Nathan has invited Ashley and Jason over that night. The two of them were not going to be happy that Ashley asked me out on a date.



When I got home, Nathan was already there. He was sitting on the couch watching TV. We did our usual thing, talked about the news and our favorite shows. Nathan said he was horny and wanted to fuck. This was our relationship, very direct and non-emotional. I thought for a second about Ashley but the truth is that Nathan and I have been fucking almost daily for years. It had just been part of my daily life. He was my best friend and fuck buddy. So, I told him how hot I think Ashley was as that I got a date. Although a little disappointed that he didn’t get Ashley, he told me about a new guy he met named Jeff. They planned to go out the next day. Nathan had stripped off all his clothes and was stroking his 9 ½ dick. “Are you ready to get fucked?” Within seconds Nathan had me on my back and taking his large bare member into me. My legs were wrapped around his back as he trust his large cock into me. Nathan and I fucked regularly so we had worked out a rhythm that allowed both of us to cum simultaneously. No man has every found a way to massage my prostate like Nathan. Moments later he screamed “now” as we both had cum shooting out of our bodies. When I was in the bathroom wiping away Nathan’s cum as it dripped out of me down my leg, I told myself that Ashley was great but we were far from committed. Most likely, he and Jason were doing the same thing just across town. Young gay men are all about sex and I have to say I loved it! At least I had not fucked an anonymous guy I met at a glory hole.



Later that evening, Ashley and Jason arrived at our door. Ashley was wearing a blue vintage t-shirt and shorts. The t-shirt clung tightly to his body forming a perfect V. My mouth watered and I may have actually drooled. Ashley held a bottle of wine and said a little formally, “thank you for inviting us over”. He handed the wine to me even though Nathan was the one that made the invitation. When I took the bottle, my fingers touched Ashley’s. The same shock struck me just like every time I had touched him. I felt a little odd holding the wine since I knew none of us were twenty-one. How did Ashley get the wine? I smiled and invited them both in.



The night was fun. The wine had loosened us all up. We learned more about each other and found that we were becoming friends. Jason was actually a nice guy that I would like to have as a friend. Ashley and I were flirty but not inappropriate. Nathan had tried to flirt with Ashley a few times but was quickly and appropriately rebuffed. I knew that Ashley was mine. That night we made plans to go on our first date the next day.



Ashley and I had started dating. We kissed at every available opportunity and the sex was fantastic. I learned that Ashley was a swimmer in high school. The boy could bend and contort his body in a way that I had never encountered. I remember vividly the weekend he came over to my apartment for us to spend together. Nathan had gone home to visit his parents so we had the place to ourselves. The minute I closed the door he pushed me against the wall and took my mouth. The kisses were passionate and demanding. Our hard cocks were grinding into each other thru our tight jeans. When he pulled back both of us panted for air breathing like we just ran a marathon. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the sofa. “I guess dinner is out.” he joked. Then frantically our mouths reconnected. At the same time, we were both desperately trying to remove the other man’s clothes as if they were on fire. Our hard bodies crashed against each other as we stood naked in the living room. I started kissing my way down his firm body until I reached his 7 ½ inch hard cock. As I kissed my way to his hip I gently blew hot air around his shaft. He let out a moan and I knew I had him. I gently nibbled at his balls and then continued kissing my way down his sculpted legs. Thanks to Jason, I had learned that Ashley had a major foot fetish. It wasn’t really my thing but I knew how to turn him on. As I kissed his tight calf muscle, I worked my way toward his pleasure zone. When I reached his right foot I gently touched the tip of my tongue to the soft skin. His body jerked in response. I slowly worked my tongue across the bridge of his foot toward his big toe. In a quick motion I surrounded it with my lips and began my best cock sucking replication. Ashley’s body was lashing around the sofa loudly moaning incoherent noises. He looked and sounded like a man possessed by a demon. Finally, he screamed, “Blake stop it’s too much!!” Rapping my tongue around the large toe one last time, I sucked hard before hearing a loud pop as my mouth pulled away.



“Like that?” I asked with a naughty smile.



Half dazed, he looked at me and said, “If you can do that to me with just my toe I may die when you suck my dick.”



“Let’s find out.” I said as I swallowed his cock. His upper body shot up from the sofa unable to control his movements. I worked my way down his hard shaft until my nose was buried in his pubic hair. He had the most fragrant masculine scent that that made me ravenous. I used my tongue to wrap around his shaft and lick at the place his shaft met his balls. Then pulling back, my head began to bob on the full length.



Ashley breathlessly panted, “Blake stop..huhuh… or …huhh..I am going to..huuuh..cum.” I stopped. His breathing still heavy, I lowered my face to my real target. His tight little hole was so magnificent. I had to taste him, to claim him. Moving slowly toward the target I gently blew at his opening. It twitched in response. The corners of my mouth turned slightly up as I lowered my head. Licking very lightly around the outer edges of his precious hole, I heard him moan again. Working my tongue in a circular motion ever closer to my ultimate goal, I finally plunged my tongue in as hard and strong as possible. Again, Ashley’s back bolted from the sofa and he let out a noise that was obscene. I fucked my mouth into him over and over. He tasted like Burberry body wash laced with thousands of pheromones. His body was now under my control. “Blake, fuck me, I can’t take this anymore! I have to have you inside me. ” Ashley screamed. “Please fuck me!” he begged.



Working my way up his body so our faces were sided by side, I grabbed my hard cock and placed it at his entrance. Snapping open a small bottle of lube, I coated my cock with it and fingered some in his slightly dilated hole. Pressing the head of my cock into his opening he gasped as it breached his tight ring. “Are you OK?” I asked in a quiet voice. He nodded. “Tell me if it hurts. I don’t want to hurt you.” I said.



“No, it feels good. Just go slow. I want this!” Ashley countered.



My seven inches slid into him and soon I could feel my balls flush with his hard ass. I leaned down and kissed his luscious lips. “Fuck me!” Ashley said in a deep demanding tone. With that, I happily obliged by beginning to move in and out of his tight grip.



“Damn, you are so tight.” I said. He smiled at me and then squeezed the muscles surrounding my dick. It was so strong I thought he might pull my dick from my body.



“Aaawww” this noise came from deep within me. My thrusts into him became more forceful and fast. I wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer. “Ashley, I am about to cum.” When I said this, I reached to stroke his hard member.



“Don’t, I’m too close.” he pleaded. I stopped before touching his throbbing dick. I continued to pump into him with my cock pounded his prostrate. After a few more thrusts he began to orgasm. He shot his first load well past the sofa and onto a nearby wall. His spasms caused me to near the point of no return.



“I am going to cum!” I screamed.



“Cum in me!” he begged. Normally, I am not so reckless but with Ashley I was enraptured. I thrust a few more times and then exploded inside him. The world turned nearly black and I lost control of my body. I could feel my dick releasing my seed into him. Each release made me loose even more of my motor skills. I collapsed onto his sweaty cum soaked chest and breathed hard unable to move. When the haze slowly lifted, I looked into his beautiful brown eyes and smiled.



“You are amazing.” I said.



He gave me that beautiful white smile and said, “I never shot without touching it before. You are amazing.”



I pulled myself from him and felt a rush of my white fluid leave his body and deposit itself on the leather sofa. “Shit, we need to clean up our mess.” I laughed. Getting up, I went to the laundry room and came back with a spring scented towel. Before cleaning him up, I leaned over and licked some of his cum from his coated chest. “No point in wasting it.” I said with a slight smile. He laughed. I then cleaned the rest of his hard stomach and chest then moved to his well used opening. He looked at me shyly but I said, “I made the mess, the least I can do is help clean it up.” He shrugged and laughed softly. I rubbed the towel around his precious opening and then cleaned the leather couch.



“Don’t forget the wall.” Ashley said with a huge smile.



When I walked a few steps to the wall and started to wipe up the dripping juice I said, “I have never seen anyone shoot so far.”



“Me either.” He replied with a slight grin.



That was the start of a sex crazed weekend. Before it was over, I had cum inside Ashley eight times. Once I took him with his head and shoulders on the floor and back nearly straight in the air while I was standing up. I received plenty of his dick in my ass as well. Between the cuddling and kissing, he released his seed inside me at least six times that weekend. That doesn’t even count all the blow jobs and mutual masturbation. We were two horned up college guys in our prime. I had even sprayed some air freshener before Nathan got home because I was certain the apartment reeked of cum. That was without question our best weekend, the first time we dated.

After a few weeks, it became obvious that this was only going to last for a short time. Ashley and Jason seemed closer and Nathan and I started fucking like crazy. Both of us were bailing on plans and our kissing sessions were less frequent and less passionate. Like most of the gay guys at our school, Ashley and I were happily screwing our way thru the population and ours was just another in a long line of short flings. After a few weeks, we were at a campus hangout when he told me, “We need to talk.” These are words that to every American, especially young gay men, mean one thing. Disappointed that he was going to dump me, I left the establishment to join Ashley in the parking lot near his car.



Before he could say anything, I had looked at him and said, “I don’t think this is working. We need to move on.” I was not going to be the one that got dumped. Nathan would have given me so much shit if that had happened.



Looking somewhat shocked, Ashley said, “I was thinking the same thing.”



Seeing his expression I wanted to take back my words but, it was too late. Did he want to tell me something else besides “it is over”? After everything, I still don’t know. It was a great few weeks. I always liked Ashley and we had remained friendly after our spilt. At the time, there were many more beautiful young men on campus whose bodies I also wanted to enjoy, and I did.



ASHLEY:



My freshman year in college had been an exciting new experience. When I was accepted to the large state university, I was excited. Then Jason told me he was accepted to the same school. I could not have been happier. I thought maybe we would be together free from the BS of our hometown. Those plans were crushed when Jason told me he had decided to join the Air Force. I guess I should not have been surprised since he was in the Air Force JROTC since 10th grade. I had hoped that he would pick me over the Air Force. Who was I kidding, that had always been Jason’s dream. But I was mad, no mad it too kind, I was pissed the fuck off. That bastard had been dating with me for years but still chose the Air Force over me! I was done with him. I want to be with a guy that is out and proud. I was not looking for a flamer mind you, just a guy that was comfortable with his sexuality.



I had noticed these two guys walking around campus. One was this 5′ 10″ cute blond guy. I assumed the other was his boyfriend. They were always together and I jacked off more than once thinking about them fucking. When I came out of the library one day I noticed they were staring at me. I knew I was hot so let them look.



Later that week, Jason and I had lunch in the Student Union. He was trying to convince me that we could still be together but that we just had to keep it between us. I told him he could go fuck himself because I wasn’t hiding for anyone.



After we calmed down, we left to walk around campus. It was then I spotted the couple I had been fanaticizing about. They both stopped and introduced themselves. This first one to speak was Nathan. He oozed sexual energy and seemed to be a big flirt. Then Blake introduced himself. It was then that I saw his eyes. They were so blue it was like looking into the Caribbean Sea. My cock twitched when he looked at me and smiled. God, could there be a more perfect creature? We sat down and all talked for half an hour. Then Jason and Nathan both had a class. Jason reminded me that I was planning to visit with one of my professors about my lab assignment. I told him that her office hours weren’t until later that day. For some reason, he seemed really pissed off.



After that, Nathan reminded Blake that he needed to return a book. I was so glad he mentioned that it was the last day for returns because it completely slipped my mind. Blake was a little rude when he said he would make sure the book was returned but, I just assumed that there was something going on between them I didn’t understand. I turned to Blake and said, “Hey Blake, I have a few books to return too. I dropped this stupid Math class and want the money back. My parent’s paid cash so I can pocket it. Can I go with you?” After I had said it, I was really embarrassed. I was hoping that Nathan wouldn’t get mad that I asked to go with his boyfriend. Blake smiled at me and nothing else mattered. When Nathan invited Jason and I to their house that evening I thought everything must be ok. Looking at Blake, I was quick to agree just so it didn’t seem like I was trying to take Nathan’s man. Even thought I was! Jason agreed to go but seemed pissed off; I was used to that. There was no way he wanted me anywhere near these two hot out guys.



After that Jason and Nathan walked away, I stood up. Blake was a little weak kneed from sitting so long. When I reached down to help him up I was surprised to feel a jolt of lighting from touching him. “You have a really beautiful smile and your eyes are so blue.” I said without thinking of the consequences. I told myself that I had to stop. He had a boyfriend and I didn’t want to be that kind of guy.



“I am not sure my smile or eyes can compete with yours.” Blake said to me. I wasn’t sure what to make of him. Was he trying to have an affair with me? I could deal with that!



As we walked, Blake was riddling me with questions. He was so cute! I asked him how long he and Nathan had been together and was shocked when he started laughing. “Oh, we are just friends.” The hot blond responded. I thought my heart might jump out of my chest. They weren’t boyfriends? They weren’t boyfriends!!! He was mine now!



“What about you and Jason?” He asked in a sober voice. I explained that we were together at one time but Jason decided that the Air Force was more important than I was. I talked about how miserable “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” made our lives. I just wasn’t willing to be in a relationship like that.



We were waiting in line when Blake reached over and ran his finger just above my eyebrow. Shivers went thru my entire body. Why was this cute boy touching my forehead? “How did you get that scar? It is so sexy.” Blake said then his face turned red. Did he just say I was sexy?



I was stammering, oh my God, this was so embarrassing. Please, I didn’t want to tell the hot boy about my Ken doll scar. I wanted the ground to open and swallow me. There is no way he was ever going to see me as sexy again. I was going to tell him, oh God no. “It is really embarrassing. When I was 16 my 11 year old sister told me she was ‘in love’ with Jason; I got angry and I told her he was my friend and he would never be in love with her. She thru her Ken doll at me and it cut me right above the eyebrow. I started bleeding like crazy. My parents freaked out and took me to the emergency room. Turned out, I didn’t even need stitches. It was just a superficial cut. So I am a gay man with a scar on his head from a Ken doll. Embarrassing, don’t you think?” I was trying to be as self deprecating as possible. Why did he want the Ken doll story? His face looked amused. Maybe it wasn’t that bad, I had hope.



“Thank God she didn’t throw an Easy Bake Oven, you might not be so hot today.” His words made me stop breathing. Oh My God, he just said I was hot!!! My head was reeling. He thinks I am hot!!! He thinks I am hot!!! Was I brave enough to call him out?



I willed all the strength I had inside me and smiled when I said, “You think I am hot?”



His reaction was spectacular. He turned so many shades of red I thought he might bolt for the door. His voice shaking he said, “Yes, I do”.



In my head I was screaming, “OH MY GOD!”, when I was in control of myself I put on my strongest voice and said, “You are pretty hot yourself. Would you like to go out with me?” I was so shocked that I actually did that. I my head I yelled, ‘Go Ashley!’



Just then the cashier called him forward; he was looked at me and said only one word, “Yes!” I wanted to scream and do a little dance. I tried to control myself but it was hard. This little hottie was mine. When the next cashier called me forward I was standing next to Blake. He looked so serious. The lady handed me my cash and I winked at him. He looked like he was about to fall over. It made me laugh. I wanted to kiss him so bad.



We walked out of the bookstore together and I wasn’t willing to wait any longer. I grabbed him and kissed him with everything I had. Blake seemed shocked but I could tell he was pleased.



Walking back to my dorm I was so excited about the day. When I got to our room Jason was waiting a little pissed off but clearly horny as hell. He was only wearing tight bikini underwear that showed his entire hard length. I was never able to resist him with his shirt off and dick hard. There was a part of me that felt wrong for wanting Jason so soon after leaving Blake. I just met this guy; I didn’t make any commitment to him my mind rationalized. When Jason lunged for me I did not resist. He had me on my back with my legs in the air within seconds. Jason wasn’t into foreplay. He just took me. His cock rammed into my body as he forcefully fucked me. There was no romance anymore, this was pure sex. My body responded like it always had. Pleasure rushed over me as Jason thrust his cock into me. I was panting like a dog in the hot sun. “I am about to cum baby!” Jason moaned. He grabbed my cock and started pumping in time with his thrusts. My cum exploded from deep with my body as I heard him groan as he released his load inside me. He pulled out and went to the bathroom without a word.



“You still want to go to those fags house?” He said from the bathroom. My blood was boiling. Why the hell did I let this guy fuck me?



“Yes and their names are Blake and Nathan. Since you just had your dick in my ass, you really are in no position to call anyone a fag.” I angrily screamed.



“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” Jason said with a contrite grin. “So, you really want to go over there?”



“Yes, I am going and since you were invited, I guess you can too.” I replied. “Only if you can get one of your Air Force ROTC buddies to get us some wine. I am not going over there empty handed.” My anger was palpable.



“Ashley, I am really sorry. I was wrong for what I said. Let me see if I can get someone to hook us up. Give me 20 minutes.” Jason said with an honest tone.



“Ok.” I let the anger drain from my body. All I really wanted was to impress Blake. Bringing a bottle of wine would make me seem sophisticated.



After a few minutes, Jason burst thru the door and said, “See, I always come thru for you.” I smiled but was hardly impressed. Jason’s stupid friends could always get what he wanted. Too bad they couldn’t accept him for who he really was. The bitterness of that consumed me again but only for a minute. I thought of Blake and a smile came back to my face. That pretty boy and I were going to fuck if it was the last thing I did!



When we were on the way to Blake’s apartment I looked at Jason and said as firmly as possible, “Do not fucking embarrass me or be rude to them. Seriously, you will jeopardize our friendship if you act like an ass tonight. I like this guy and you are not going to get in the way.”



“Damn, dude! Calm the fuck down. I know how to behave myself. I am not a child.” Jason spat back. “I am not going to do anything to piss off your new little girlfriend.”



“Fuck you, he is two inches taller than you and judging from the bulge in his pants his dick is probably that much longer too. Pretty sure he is all man!” I couldn’t resist attacking Jason’s manhood. It was his source of pride.



Jason didn’t say another word. We drove in silence as we crossed the cozy college town. When we arrived, I turned to Jason and said, “I am sorry. I just really like Blake and want to make a good impression.”



“Ashley, it’s fine. I said a few things too. It’s kinda hard for me to see you chasing some other guy. I know I made choices you can’t live with. Believe me, I am sorry. Let’s just go have fun and see if we can’t make some new friends tonight.” Jason said in a serious but resigned tone.



When I knocked on the door, Blake opened it. Standing there he was wearing some loose fitting running shorts and a tight t-shirt that showed off his magnificent chest. ‘Would it be wrong to touch his chest?’ I thought briefly before pulling myself together and handing him the wine. I felt that same rush thru my body as our fingers touched. Words had come out of my mouth but I have no idea what they were. He looks slightly puzzled but smiled widely and invited us in.



We had fun! I sat next to Blake and noticed our knees kept touching. We would smile at each other and keep talked. Nathan, I learned, was a big flirt. Not just with me but with everyone. It seemed like he couldn’t help himself. Jason was laughing and I could tell that we could all be friends. The only time Jason embarrassed me was when he mentioned I had a foot fetish. I nearly died. It was ok though; Blake looked at me with a crooked smile and said, “That sounds interesting.” I hoped it meant that I would find out just how interesting he found it.



When the evening ended, I pulled Blake aside and asked, “So you still want to go out with me sometime?”



He smiled and said, “Why don’t we have lunch tomorrow at the Student Union and spend the day together? If that works for you?”



“Hell yes that works for me.” I replied like an idiot before I could think.



He just laughed and said, “I get out of class at 12:30. Want to meet around 12:45?”



“See you then sexy.” I replied as he had another cute blush across his pale skin.



The next day I couldn’t concentrate on anything. I was watching the clock counting the minutes until 12:45. When the excruciating wait was finally over, I bolted to the Student Union. After a few minutes Blake arrived. We grabbed some pizza and found a quiet corner table to talk. From the moment we sat down the conversation flowed smoothly. We both seemed to want to know everything about the other man. It was almost 3:00 before either of us realized the time. “Hey, I have a book to drop off at the library then maybe we can walk around the park. I am really having fun just getting to know you.” Blake said with a sweet smile and heartfelt tone.



“Sounds great, I haven’t been to the park yet.” I said as we gathered our belonging and headed out the closest exit. We walked the short distance to the massive library. I had only been there a few times and mentioned that to Blake.



“Oh, let me show you around. There are some really beautiful reading rooms if you know where to look.” Blake said as we walked thru the entry toward the return counter. He dropped his book and look at me, “Follow me.” He reached out his hand and I willingly held it. It was so nice to be with someone that wasn’t hiding his attraction to me. We crossed the main floor toward a set of staircases I only vaguely recalled. He bolted us up one of the staircases and opened the door into this massive three story room that ran the length of the library. It was covered in dark wood paneling and had rows of wood tables. There were only a few people in the room. He turned to me and said quietly, “Isn’t this beautiful”.



“Yes, I had no idea this was even here.” I replied in honest surprise.



“I have more to show you.” We moved down the hall toward another small staircase. It looked nearly abandoned and rarely used. After climbing only a few stairs, he turned and pushed thru a tiny door. I had to duck to avoid hitting my head. When I got thru the door we were standing in this space crammed with books that seemed to go on forever. “These are the ‘stacks’. I guess they are books that are rarely used. I had to come in here one time to find a really old political science book. Other than that, I have never needed anything from here. It was a little creepy coming alone. I am pretty sure most people have no idea they are here. Follow me.” He said as we walked to the center of the area and found a metal staircase. We climbed four more flights until we were at the top. The whole time we never saw or heard another person. It was weird. He walked me to the corner by a stain glass window. Expecting him to tell me about the window I was shocked when he pressed me against the wall. He had the dirtiest look on his face as he reached for my belt. Quickly, he managed to have my jeans and underwear around my knees. This blushing beauty turned into a cock whore as he enveloped my length. He was bobbing back and forth and using his tongue to encircle the shaft. It was so much better than anything I ever experienced with Jason. I tried desperately not to moan, afraid we would be discovered. Before long, I was unable to prevent a massive orgasm from overtaking my body.



“I am going to cum.” I said as quietly as possible. This seemed to encourage him as his rhythm increased. My knees went week as I coated his throat and tongue with my seed. I had never done anything in a public place before; Blake certainly knew how to create memories.



“I have wanted to do that since I first discovered this place. I almost forgot about it until I was giving you the little tour. Hope you don’t mind.” He smiled wickedly.



“God Blake, that was fucking amazing. Can I try you?” With that he unzipped his fly and let his beautiful 7 inch thick cock out of its restraint and into my mouth. I worked him with all the skills I had learned. It didn’t take long before he exploded inside my mouth. His cum tasted slightly sweet. I was in heaven.



Post orgasm, we both heard voices in the maze below. We realized we better zip up and get out of there before we got caught. It was fun but, explaining it to the Dean and our parents wouldn’t be. We rushed out of the stacks back to the main floor and out the door. When we were outside we both burst out laughing.



The first few weeks were a blast. I even spent a whole weekend with Blake where we released so much cum I was surprised that both of our balls had not shrunk to the size of green peas. Even at 19, I never imagined my body could produce that much seed.



As the weeks passed, things kept coming up that caused plans with Blake to get cancelled. I was a little disappointed but Jason was happy to help me out in the sex department. From what Nathan was proudly telling anyone that would listen, it seemed Blake and I dating had not stopped the continual fuck session that was Blake and Nathan. Believe me, I was not really upset by this. Blake was great but the electric shocks from his touch had diminished to only a week pulse. Even our make-out sessions seemed to have lost some of luster.



When I saw Blake at a local hangout, I was surprised he hadn’t invited me to come with him. I decided to confront him. If we were dating then the least he could do was acknowledge me when I was in the room with more than just a smile. Walking over, mad but planned on seeing if he was free this weekend and wanted us to make plans. I walked over and said, “We need to talk.” His face looked like I had just slapped him. What the hell was his problem?



As we walked to the back parking lot before I could say a word he looked at me and said, “I don’t think this is working. We need to move on.” When he saw the complete shock register on my face his features softened and he looked almost like he wanted to take it back.



Stammering to not look like a fool, I replied, “I was thinking the same thing.” My brain was reeling. That mother fucker just broke-up with me! I walked away still in shock. It wasn’t like I was in love with him. Our eyes had never met expressing undying love like in some cheesy romance movie. But still, the fucker didn’t have to dump me. We were having fun, at least I was. Oh well, I guess that was that!



Considering the size of our town and the limited gay population, I ran into both Nathan and Blake frequently. After a few weeks, it was pretty much all forgotten and we would acknowledge each other and chat as friends. We didn’t really hang out one-on-one but in a group we were always pleasant. I had quickly realized that if I stopped talking to every gay guy I slept with my circle of available friends would soon dry up.

Hey,



Just a quick note, this is a stand-alone story. There are no sequels, no chapters, just this. Hope you like it.



Thanks,



Night



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Casey walked into Black Vinyl, his old stomping ground. The place where he’d spent countless hours browsing for his favorite CDs and rare vinyl classics. It had been a while since he’d been back, but the owner Tom waved a hand at him as he approached the counter.



“Haven’t seen you around in ages, Casey. What have you up to?” Tom leaned over the counter. His big frame made the service desk look small.



Casey shrugged. “Oh you know college and what not.”



“You finally graduate?” Tom grinned.



“Yeah, moved back here, got a job. Became an adult or I’m trying to.”



That earned him a laugh from Tom. “You’ll never grow up, Case. Just like me, always young at heart.”



“Nah, you’re just old.” Casey busted up laughing when Tom shook his fist teasingly.



“I’m classic, not old. You’re still young. You’ll understand when you’re my age. Get out of my hair Peter Pan. Got a new shipment of that German crap you like so much.”



“If it’s such crap, why do you buy it?” Casey jumped back as Tom went to swat him.



“Hopeful wishing that you’ll come back to harass me.”



“Uh huh, I’m so sure.”



Casey chuckled, leaving Tom to go look at the CDs in question. Loud German Rock had always called to him. He was one of three people that he knew of that even bought the stuff. As Casey touched the first album, the front door bell sounded, and he looked up.



The most beautiful guy he had ever seen walked in. Short dark hair, killer blue eyes that landed on Casey before going up to Tom. Casey blushed with a hidden smile. Acting like he hadn’t seen the guy, he went back to browsing.



“German Rock? You gotta be kidding me.” Tom laughed above the sound of The Strokes playing over the speakers. “Over there with that trouble maker.”



“Hey,” Casey protested. The dark haired man seemed to find it amusing, even bit his lip, flicking his eyes to the ground.



A group of high school kids that had dipped themselves in Hot Topic entered the store. Tom growled as they started to wander around.



“You steal anything and I take fingers as payment.” The owner smiled as they walked by him. The kids looked at one another before settling in over at the Industrial section. Tom had never found a soft spot for the youth of today. Only Casey had managed to weasel his way in.



“Hi.” Casey was startled a bit as the dark haired man joined him.



“Hey,” Casey replied with a shy glance.



The stranger’s hand reached out, grabbed an album off the rack. “Tokio Hotel is German Rock? We need to get this guy some help.”



“Yeah, they’re pretty mainstream, pop if you ask me. Tom doesn’t really care much about correctly placing albums unless you’re talking eighties hair bands or classic punk. He’s a big Twisted Sister fan.”



“Ugh,” the other man replied, putting the album down quickly. “You seem to know your way around here.”



“I swear I used to live here during high school. It’s the best place to get your music fix for miles around. Plus Tom over there and his partner Dell are awesome.”



“Partner?” Dark hair leaned up against the shelf, his eyes boring into Casey.



“Yeah, partner. Dell’s a guy.” Casey smiled.



The stranger nodded his head with a grin. “Nothing wrong with that.”



“Nope.” Casey crouched down, grabbing an old Scorpions album. “Don’t tell Tom, but I think he might need some help after all.”



“Oh my God, I remember my dad listening to ‘Rock You Like A Hurricane’ over and over. He’s so tone deaf.” Dark hair shook his head. “I guess Tom tried though. They are German.”



“Seems like you know your stuff too.” Casey couldn’t keep the creep of flirtation from his voice. This guy was smoking hot, funny, and he smelled like a wet dream.



“Only on occasion, I’m no expert. I just like music.” The guy gently took the album out of Casey’s hand and put it on the shelf. “Is there a bathroom around here?”



“Uh yeah.” Casey shook the moment off. Damn this guy was intense. “Over there in the corner, past the life sized cut out of Stevie Nicks.”



“Why don’t you show me? I’m not very good with directions.” The intensity was back. Casey felt his dick respond below. A mad heat flushed his neck, a sure sign that his body was all for it.



“Sure,” Casey said.



They stood up, Casey leading the way. His palms shaky, his eyes attempting to avoid Tom’s knowing smile. The bathroom was for employees only, but Tom knew Casey well enough that it didn’t matter. The owner knew from being young once himself what was going down in a minute or less in the lavatory. Tom smiled looking around the shop before narrowing his eyes at the kid unzipping his hoodie.



“You yank anything and you know the rules, you razor blade wearing dipshit.”



“Yeah, man. I hear you.” The kid with the Mohawk nodded in fear, putting a CD bag on the table.



The bathroom was sprayed painted, band stickers, old flyers covering the wall. A diner green tile was the only pure color left in the small room. A dirty light fixture above the sink seemed to beckon Casey forward as the The Japandroids blared over the speakers with Heart Sweats.



The second the door closed behind the pair, Casey was shoved up against the graffiti smothered wall. His lips were covered with another pair. Hands went under Casey’s shirt, seeking his blazing hot skin. The other man’s fingers played over his body quickly, but with purpose. Casey tried to breathe, tried to think, but the stranger pushed him against the wall harder—grinding, feeling, tasting his mouth.



Lost in a dream, he tugged at the man’s shirt. A lean chest covered in tattoos was revealed. Casey shuddered—his hands gripping into the guy’s skin. Tongue sucked into another’s mouth, Casey moaned. His one hand found its way through short dark hair, clenching thick chunks between his fingers.



“Suck me,” the man gasped, flipping them around until he was against the wall.



Casey sank to his knees no problem—fingers working the thick belt buckle, buttons loose, pulling down the jeans and underwear until his prize was revealed. Hungry for more, his lips made quick work of the cock presented. Sheathing the head into his mouth, he yearned to hear the man above him moan.



Fuck,” the stranger’s curse bounced around the room. A hot mouth engulfed his cock over and over, taking him like he was the only man alive in the world. The little brunette hottie below knew what he was doing, just how he liked it.



“More,” he pushed the guy’s head down on his cock. Listening to the slick sounds of his dick being swallowed, satisfaction called a groan from his throat. The pleasure took him like a good song he hadn’t heard in a long time.



Obedient to service, Casey worked the cock in his mouth until his eyes watered. The other man was close. He could feel the body under his hands tensing, tiny tremors in his clenched thighs.



“Yeah, yeah, oh fuck.” The man bit his fist before pulling his sucking beauty to his feet. He went to his knees, not ready to cum just yet.



Casey helped the man along, tugging his jeans down over his skinny hips. His own cock jutted up into the air, but the guy pushed it into his stomach with the heel of one palm and sucked on his balls instead. Heavenly angels were singing somewhere as a greedy tongue licked, swollen lips sucked on him.



“I love this store.” Casey put his head back his loud laugh weaved into a moan. Flicking his eyes back down, he knew wasn’t going to last much longer. Blue eyes smiled up at him before the man’s lips took him to the root.



“Jesus!” Casey hissed. His knees held to the wall by this stranger. He was shaking. The knowledge they could be caught at any minute such a turn on, the lock still unlatched next to them.



The man grabbed his own cock, working himself while his mouth worked Casey. With a pop of his lips, he groaned. “So good.”



“Yeah, almost there, a little more,” Casey pleaded with a frown as the man stood. His frown was short lived when the man fisted both their shafts in his hands and kissed him.



The twist of both their flavors lit up Casey’s mouth, the dominant stranger’s hand going a mile a minute below. One flick of those blue eyes at him with their dark lashes and Casey came undone.



Slapping a palm to the wall, the other man moaned into Casey’s neck. Sticky in his hand, both their releases dripped over his fingers with a smile on his lips.



“Fuck,” Casey murmured, trying to breathe again.



“Hell yeah,” the stranger whispered, pressing a kiss to Casey’s neck.



“I don’t think I can go back out there just yet.”



The dark haired man grinned. “It’s not high school, you can’t live here anymore.”



That got a laugh from Casey. “You know what I mean.”



A few paper towels and some more kissing did the trick. Flushed cheeks, a bit of sweat running down his back, and Casey was good to go.



Walking out onto the store floor was a little bit embarrassing, but Tom did nothing more than shoot him a sly grin with an even slicker goodbye.



“Good to have you back, Case. Come and visit any time.”



“Bye, Tom.” Casey blushed on his way out.



The cool evening air did wonders for his flushed skin, the sweat drying up a bit as his mystery bathroom date sidled up beside him.



“My place or yours?” Dark hair chuckled.



“Funny,” Casey grabbed for the man’s hand as soon as they were around the block.



“I thought so. I liked the bathroom. I could hear you moan louder than normal. Good acoustics.”



“Bryson!” Casey laughed. “Shut up.”



“Whatever, you like it.” Bryson tossed the keys to his boyfriend. “Where to next?”



They loaded into the jeep, Bryson grabbing the list from the floorboard. Penthouse’s Check List: Spice Things Up In Your Relationship.



“We can check off role play. I was pretty good huh?” Bryson bit the pen cap off and checked the box with a smile.



“Yes, you are the master of role play.” Jamie pulled out of the spot, a huge grin on his face. “So what are we up for next, master?”



Bryson looked at him with a cheesy grin. “Ever been tied up?”



THE END

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