regrets

Kenna jumped as the doorbell rang. Was she really ready for this? She squared her shoulders and checked herself in the mirror one last time. Perfect… short tight jean skirt, tiny black tank top, bed rumpled hair. She took a deep breath and pulled the door open. She could do this, this wasn’t that hard. Take it one moment at a time. As their eyes locked it was as if they had never been apart. There stood Billy in his old ripped up jeans and t-shirt. Looking like he had stepped out of the pages of an Anne Rice novel with his long black hair and seductive eyes. She heard someone clearing their throat and the trance was broken. Looking down she saw a plain girl, standing to the side and slightly behind Billy. Her eyes ran up and down, taking inventory. The girl was short… maybe five two, and chubby. She wasn’t ugly really, just uninspired. Her face was round, her eyes were brown… dark kind of curly hair pulled back. She was wearing jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, and Kenna was amazed that anyone would dress so fully for a California summer. The girl was shifting back and forth from one foot to the other, obviously uncomfortable. Kenna bit the inside of her cheek and thought to herself “Here goes nothing “



She motioned for the two of them to enter the apartment and take a seat on the couch. With a confident smile that she didn’t really feel she asked “Would either of you like something to drink?” Billy shook his head and the girl just looked at the floor.



“Hey babes,” Billie said as he relaxed back into the couch, “This is Lindy.” Kenna smiled and said everything that was polite but she could tell that the girl wasn’t comfortable. Hell, who could blame her. I mean here she is meeting the girl who he was prepared to spend the rest of his life with and they’ve been together for like three months.



As things progressed they just got more awkward. The girl was obviously pissed, and her passive aggressive bullshit was starting to give Kenna headache. Couldn’t this girl just come out and say it already. It was obvious that she didn’t fit. Billy and Kenna knew each other too well. They shard private jokes, they could speak to each other without voicing a word. Of course Lindy didn’t fit. I mean what is three months compared to three years? Even the radio was conspiring against her, playing all of their old songs. Lindy finally spoke up, shocking the hell out of Kenna. “She speaks Who knew?” Kenna snickered to herself.



Looking so painfully uncomfortable that putting her out of her misery almost seemed justified Lindy whispered “I feel like the third wheel on a date.” Kenna and Billy both tried to make her more comfortable. Billy let go of Kenna’s hand and put his arm around Lindy, and Kenna attempted to be nice by telling her that it was only old friendship and that it just took time to get to know people this well. By the time three hours had passed Lindy had to leave for work and she did not look at all happy about leaving Billy alone with Kenna. She offered to call in sick, but Billy assured her that Kenna would take care of him. Kenna shook her head at his choice of words but didn’t say anything.



After Lindy had left for work Kenna suggesting driving around and looking at some of their old haunts. They drove around talking for hours and ended up at an office building. The building was never locked and they had started out using the bathrooms at night when they were out with their friends and didn’t want to drive too far. After discovering that the place was never locked and always empty at night they had started using the bathrooms for something more ummm… involved. As it turned out Kenna needed to get rid of the 44 oz Dr. Pepper she had drank, and so they snuck into the building and up to the third floor.



Kenna wasn’t looking for anything else… she honestly just had to pee… but the memories were all around her. Being there with Billy made it seem as if they had never broken up, as if they had never been apart. Their connection was as strong as ever. When they reached the bathrooms they didn’t speak. They just looked at each other, and as the bathroom door closed behind them their lips locked. Clothes were thrown everywhere as their tongues dueled. It felt so good, so right, to be there with him… to be holding him…. kissing him. In that moment nothing and noone else existed. They were alone in the world, touching and tasting each other. He pushed her down onto the floor and as he came down on top of her she wrapped her legs around him. Her arms went up over her head, hands flat against the wall to brace her body. Their eyes locked as he slid into her and groaned. She threw her head back and began to pump her hips. The entire room went out of focus. They were the only two people on earth, the only thing that mattered was how good she felt. She reached out with her tongue to lick the sweat off of his neck, and her entire body arched off of the floor. She exploded, tightening around him in spasms. She heard him moan once, twice… and then he went still inside of her.



Kenna opened her eyes to see Billy holding his body about an inch above hers. He slowly slid out of her as he sat up and pulled her up with him. Their eyes locked for a moment, and in that moment she knew. This was it… this was all they had for now. She wasn’t going back. He wouldn’t leave. Their lives were separate now. Kenna stood all the way up and began to get dressed. She laughed when she saw the mess he had made of her hair and did her best to straiten it with her fingers. He groaned when he felt the wet spot on his jeans. This had happened, they couldn’t take it back. Kenna didn’t honestly know if she wanted to take it back. Now, well now it was time for damage control. They made their way down to the parking lot and leaned up against the car. Kenna lit up a smoke and Billy joined her. As they stood there in silence a familiar car drove by. “SHIT!” Billy whispered. “Did you see that?”



“Yeah,” Kenna said back, “just relax… she probably didn’t notice us and even if she did… well it isn’t as if we are still naked.” They both heard the screech of brakes. Kenna rolled her eyes and got ready to face the dragon.

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