SEX: cock, tits, pussy, fucking, boner, wang, boob, A-hole, crack, sweat, fur, rub, tease, smack, squeal, beg, please, grind, throb, probe, junk, mound, stroke, jack, boobs, hard on, turn offs, face fuck, butt fuck, tittie fuck, finger fuck, vagi-fuck. Sink, tweak, lips, flaps, melons, curves, finger, push, pull, groan, moan, explode, caress, swallow, squeeze. Insert, cover, pearl necklace, rim job, fry the eggs. Wax, strip, slip, kiss, fondle, poke, kneel, bow, slap, red, white, ache. Cunt, clit, lick, flick, pick, tongue, balls, testes, vagina, anus, breasts, ass, penis, tickle, pickle, jump, humping, dancing, bumpin’ uglies, screw, blew, swollen, buttocks. Open, pry, spread, force, ease, drip, wet, drool, pour, jet, shoot, wad, cum, sperm, glob, sticky-icky goop. That pretty much sums it up, right? No? well let me try this a different way.

So I was hiding in a bathroom handicap stall in the middle of Silly Sallie’s Dingo Adventure park. At this particular moment it is 2:17 (in the pm) and I got Jazzy Jess the mascot giving my cock a little suckle-suckle. If you were wondering, yes I made her take off the fucking dragon head, but I had second thoughts once I saw her face. Ah fuck it! A blow is a blow, so I let her practice away…. No actually it was 1:43 (in the pm). Yeah okay, so moving on.

So I got this half dragon gobbling away at my man meat. Oh she tries so hard it’s almost cute. At first she just sucked away at it like it was a fucking lollipop. I almost had to get my Give Em Head 101 book out and teach her how to ‘blow a pole.’ But as I said, fuck it! Just close your eyes, Frankie. Think of something that gets you mojo bouncing. That’s when it hits me.

The dragon chick. That’s when she hits me right upside the head with her fucking tail. I didn’t even feel her stop on my schlong, she was that ‘impressive’.

“What the fuck, Max?!?” she asks still holding the pink not-so-fluffy tail… I ‘aint about to tell no theme park ho my real name by the way. “What the fuck you doing?!? You’re lighting up while I’m going down on you?”

“What? Oh baby hell no!” I reply as I slip my weed back in the bag… how the fuck did she see? “You were doing so good, Sexy. Why’d you stop?”

“I need help getting out of this suit.” She said hoping to her feet.

So now I got this fine ass honey riding my meat, right?… Actually it’s the same chick, I just made her put the dragon head back on. Turns out she’s got a smoking body but dear god she must have planted the damn ugly tree.

I gots my hands right under her and giving that extra lift. You know the one I’m talking bout right? Where ya lift her up and then drop her right down. Yeah you know. The trick is to punch into her with your monster there right as she falls. So it’s like BAMM! You know what I’m saying? Drives ‘em wild fellas. Write that shit down.

So anyways, I’m like BAMM BAMM, right. When all of the sudden, some dick-weed walks into the bathroom shouting something like “Jenny? Jenny you in here?”

God what a fucking mood killer. And here I was being all romantic and shit. So Dragon bitch starts freaking out, right. But I aint stopping. Fuck no! I gots her hips in my hands and I’ve turned into a fucking machine just BAMMBAMMBAMMBAMM!

Oh she’s loving it! She’s screaming my name! She keeps saying

“Oh Shit! JERRY! OH JERRY I’M SORRY BABY! DON’T COME IN HERE! NO!” Did I say I was Jerry this time?…. Yeah, I must have.

So she suddenly loves this role playin’ thing and I don’t even give a fuck. I start playing along.

“Yeah, that’s right! Coming in there…. Veronica. Yeah Veronica Here I come!”

Suddenly this fucking bathroom clown thinks this is anyone’s game. Fucker starts joining in!

“Who is that Jenny?!? Who the fuck you got in there?!? I’m gonna’ break this fucking door down!” This asshole can’t even get the right role. God what and annoying prick… No it was definitely 2:17… Yeah cause I was with Sara at 1. yeah so anyways…

So then, much to my surprise, this horny little bitch jumps up to the door. I get what she wants and sink my meat into her from behind right away. She acts all surprised as she leans forward thrusting that sweet round booty back.

Then fucking Johnny-interuptus starts pounding against the door. The fucking lock is broken already so every time her slams it, we get pushed back some. Luckily I’m slamming this chick from the other side so it’s kinda cool still.

So this keeps up for another ten or so minutes. I’m ready to blow at any moment but this dragon headed bitch is one great fuck, I gotta tell ya. I’m holding out for the long haul. So then, she like loses her footing or something and falls to the ground on all fours. Me, I get right up behind her and mount that ass as I start banging her again. Oh it’s fucking good.

So now, this fucking ass goblin starts reaching under the wall. You know how those damn stalls are. For some reason, they think it’s a good idea to leave space below incase someone feels like crawling from one stall to the next. Fucking gross.

Anyways, this dick weed is trying to reach out and grab me. Fucking A, I don’t swing like that! I keep slapping his hands away trying to be polite at first but this dude must really want my ass.

“Dude! Fucking quit it man!” I shout as I swat at his hands. I’m just trying to squirt some cum here, after all.

Speaking of cum… I got a story about this one time in Mexico, but anyways, so I’m bouts’ to bust a major nut here. This bitch’s tight twat is just squeeeeeezing my pole. She’s fucking milking me good man, I tell ya. So I’m getting close and I tell her, “I’m getting close.”

I keep pumping, and pumping, and swatting at this fucking dill hole who keeps trying to grab at my junk. Oh here it comes. I can feel it! It’s getting close! I’m all excited and shit as I pull my cock from this sweet honey pot. I grab my dick and go to work.

Not a second later the fucking Tweaker breaks through the door and trips over this Betty. He falls down and lands on the toilet. It shatters as water goes everywhere. In the mean time I’m watching this shit laughing my ass off as I blast my jizz across this chicks fine grade A slab of beef. I empty my balls and tuck in the goods.

Good times…. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, so no officer, I haven’t had anything to drink tonight. Why do you ask?

September 2018
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