The air in the Bronze Sword Tavern was hot and humid and smelt heavily of ale and sweat. There was a constant loud buzz as the occupants of the overfilled room engaged in their alcohol-fueled conversations. The patrons were a mix of sailors, soldiers and independent adventurers. The tavern was in the middle of the city, which made it not only one of the busiest places to eat, but also the one with the most diverse patronage. There was a reason the sailors, soldiers and adventurers tended to stay in the bars of their own districts; they rarely ever got along. If a patron came to the Bronze Sword Tavern it was for the refreshment of food and ale, and the excitement of an inevitable fight.

The rowdiness of the tavern was exactly why Perin L’reias was sitting at a table in the far corner of the large, crowded room. Perin looked up at the male in front of him and was pleased to see that the man was sweating. The man hadn’t given his name, and Perin hadn’t expected him to. They were there on business, and the man’s line of work it was best if identities were kept hidden.

“So how long do you think this will take?” Perin asked in a deep voice that was at odds with his slender yet athletic build.

The man looked at Perin in what he assumed was supposed to be a cool and confident manner, but with sweat beading down his pale face and slicking his black hair to his forehead it was incredibly unconvincing.

“It will be done within three weeks if the price is right.” The man said. It was obvious by his accent that he was from the West. The man lingered a little too long over his i’s and his r’s sounded strange to Perin.

Perin was from deep in the Southern reaches of the kingdom. Down South it was sweltering hot and unbearably humid. Therefore the temperature in the room wasn’t foreign to Perin, the only thing bothering him was the stale stench of ale and too many people with poor hygiene practices. These people in the Middle Kingdom were a lot bulkier than his people; men with more muscles than brains, and skin as pale as fresh milk. Perin’s own people had a deep olive complexion and were built lithe and athletic in order to survive their climate.

“Three weeks is too long.” Perin stated firmly. Surrounded by so many people from the Middle Kingdom, he could hear that his voice was much deeper and more fluid than those around him.

“Any quicker is impossible.”

“For you perhaps, but I have no doubts that there are others that could get the job done quicker.” Perin said, gently fingering the food on his plate with distaste.

“Others?” The man snorted indignantly. “There are no others better than me.”

“Yet you state that three weeks is the best you can do?” Perin pushed his plate away and gave the sweating Westerner a piercing glare.

“You want to talk time yet you have not talked price.” The man said with a grimace.

“I have not yet heard anything impressive enough to warrant talk of a payment.” Perin said with a bored shrug. The man’s eyes flickered with anger and Perin was exceptionally pleased. The hot tavern combined with the typical Western inability to hide emotions meant that this man was as easy to read a child’s book. He was good, Perin would give him that, but he fell far too easily into the habits of his culture.

“What you ask for is very complicated.” The man told him through gritted teeth.

“If you think so then perhaps this is not the job for you.” Perin told him, allowing a hint of derision slither into his tone.

“Two weeks.” The man conceded angrily.


“One and a half, and the pay had better be bloody good.” The man said through gritted teeth.

One and a half weeks was good. Much better than Perin had dared to hope for. To be honest the man’s original quote of three weeks was on par with his expectations. However, Perin had heard that this man was the best, and he was hoping he could better it.

“Name your price.”

The glint in the man’s watery blue eyes told Perin that this was very close to being a done deal. As long as he could effectively negotiate price he and his Charge might just be able to achieve their goal before the end of the month.


Liliene sighed and slumped back in her seat as she watched the exchange from the other side of the crowded tavern. She had told Perin that it would be best if she negotiated this particular contract, but he had adamantly refused. What if she had been recognized? It was dangerous enough that she had to be here in the first place, but putting his Princess at extra risk was something that her Guardian was loathe to do.

Liliene pulled her cloak a little tighter around her despite the heat of the tavern and smiled as she watched Perin negotiating with the Western male. If she were the one striking the deal she would have had a firm contract with nothing but a light batting of her eyelashes and a flash of gold. Perin, however, seemed to have a bit of a harder time. The man was intimidated by him, but he hid it reasonably well.

Perin was attractive by almost anyone’s standards; he had just enough muscle to add an erotic edge to his body, but not so much that he was weighed down by bulk. His jet black hair was smooth and tied back with a thick brown strap, his cerulean eyes were the colour of the exotic Southern oceans and thoroughly at odds with his dark complexion. His eyes were startling, and even Liliene with her confidence and commanding nature often found herself falling uncontrollably into their depths.

The man and Perin seemed to be close to striking a deal. The man, it seemed, was eager to be out of the crowded room and the stench inside of it. He was sweating profusely, and Liliene could only imagine that he was wondering what kind of creature Perin was to be able to remain perspiration free. Liliene watched as Perin’s long slender fingers traced the outline of some shapes on the table, the man watching with as much interest as he would if he were studying a masterpiece.

Their plan, of course, was a masterpiece. A few weeks ago they had left their home city of Heliose in the southern tropics to travel to Linkentrop in the East to negotiate a marriage contract for Liliene. Their party had been attacked and Liliene and Perin had been the only ones kept alive. It hadn’t taken long for the pair to realize that the ambush was set by Liliene’s twin brother, Caris the High Prince of the South. After their parents had died, the twins were both in line to inherit the throne. At their birth the midwives had claimed that Liliene was pulled from her mother first, but Caris was always the louder one- it was his raspy cries that had first filled the spacious room of the palace. It was Caris’s lungs who filled with air and life while the midwives worked hard to bring Liliene back from death’s doorstep.

Liliene, under counsel from her parents most trusted advisors, had agreed to negotiate a marriage contract with the Westerners in order to create a powerful alliance that her brother couldn’t hope to match, thereby solidifying her claim to the throne. There were four other rulers in the land, but there was only one Princess. Her brother would have guessed at her plans as soon as she announced her trip, if some pretty little spy hadn’t gotten around to telling him even before that. Despite the sibling rivalry, Liliene would never consider harming her brother. Clearly, Caris didn’t feel the same.

Liliene and Perin’s assailants had been little more than hired thugs. They had seriously underestimated Perin’s strength due to his lack of extreme muscles, and one night her Guardian had broken free of his bonds and slain all but one of their kidnappers. That night he had questioned the final one until he had gotten everything he needed and done away with him too. The goal of the attack had been to capture Liliene and return her to Heliose, so that she could be married to some minor noble and sent away from court. It was for this reason that Perin planned to do the complete opposite. They had to get to Linkentrop, and they had to do it as quickly as possible. Liliene needed to arrange a marriage and then return home, showing Caris who was really more fit to be ruler.

Liliene had suggested to Perin that they drag the last kidnapper back to Heliose with them to expose Caris’s deeds. After seeing his treachery he would surely be exiled. If they continued with the marriage contract they would still have him in a position of power. However, Perin was utterly convinced that it would be better to keep the High Prince around; it was easier to keep track of an enemy that you could see than one that was far from view.

As Liliene watched Perin negotiate the contract with the Westerner she couldn’t help but think, again, that it would be great to forgo the marriage contract all together. She had no desire to marry some Eastern prince, as powerful as he was. She much preferred her own people to the pale and beefy sorts that the green pastures of the East bred.

Watching Perin winding this Western smuggler around his fingers was something that made her appreciate him that little bit more. Perin had been assigned as Liliene’s Guardian from the moment he learned to wield a sword. Of course he had been in training at the time under the watchful eye of a seasoned warrior, but she had grown up knowing that he would be around her for as long as either one of them would live. She had watched Perin go from a ham-fisted child to one of her country’s most adept warriors.

Perin had always taken his duty seriously, most of the time Liliene thought he took it far too seriously. He had always been distantly polite to her, ever the professional. Liliene, however, had spent most of her teenage years trying to steal his attention and catch him off guard. She was attracted to him, no matter how hard she tried to deny it, it was the truth. There had been one or two very rare occasions where Perin had let his determination waver, and those moments were emblazoned into her mind- the feeling of his lips on hers, the way he looked at her when he thought she wouldn’t notice, a touch that lingered just a little too long.

The last week had been torture for Liliene. After freeing themselves from the clutches of her brother’s paid minions they had spent a week traveling to the Central Kingdom so that they could find a fare to the East. Along the way they had kept off the roads, travelling up and down the Palisade Mountains through the dense forest that surrounded them. The days were crisp in the Central Kingdom but the nights were bitterly cold. That had meant that Perin had broken the boundaries of their official relationship and slept close to her out of necessity. It had been a long while since Liliene had taken a lover to her bed, and the feeling of his hot and warm body against hers, his strong arms wrapped around her protectively, was more than she could handle. She had tried to get his attention on multiple occasions, murmuring that there were much more efficient ways to warm up a sleeping roll than to just cuddle, but he had ignored her.

The look of pure concentration and determination on Perin’s face as he negotiated the deal with the smuggler was intoxicating. Liliene could get lost in his eyes easily on a normal occasion, but when they were so full of passion it was impossible not to drown in the cerulean oceans. They would be spending the night in this city, at an inn on the outskirts of town. To appear less suspicious Perin had claimed that the two were husband and wife, so naturally they had been given a room with only one bed. Liliene knew that he would sleep on the floor, but she would much prefer that they continue the charade and play the role of a married couple inside of their room as well as outside.

With a mischevious half smile Liliene closed her eyes for a moment and whispered the words of a spell that she had learned as a child. It was called the Ghost Hand. In her younger years she had used it to tickle her brother when he had been at his weapon practice, or to tug on her tutor’s beard when his lecture digressed from its topic. This time though, she focused her energy on Perin’s upper thigh. The mischevious smile turned to a grin of triumph when she noticed his legs tense under the table when the Ghost Hand made contact.

For all intents and purposes Perin would feel as though he had a real hand on his thigh, and Liliene would also be able to feel him as though it were her own corporeal hand doing the touching. The spell didn’t create a fake hand as such; instead it broke the limitations of her physical form and allow her to touch things over a long distance.

Liliene had a theory that if she could arouse Perin enough, he would be able to get over his infernally irritating sense of duty and actually enjoy her affection. His unguarded moments had proven that to her. However, it had been difficult for Liliene to find a situation where this was possible. Whilst they were prisoners he was never within her line of sight, and whilst they were traveling to this stinking city all of his concentration had been on keeping her safe. Even waking in the morning, with his erection pressed into her arse, hadn’t convinced him to allow himself a respite from his duties. Every time she had said or done something to encourage him to stray, he had pulled himself away or ignored her comments. Now, though, Perin was in the perfect position to be subject to her will.

Liliene’s ghost fingers traced soft circles on Perin’s firm thighs as he spoke to the smuggler. She watched with satisfaction as his hand clenched on the rough wooden table top. She knew that if she had tried this at any other time he would have reprimanded her harshly for two reasons; her magic was not to be used for such pointless endeavors, nor was it appropriate for her to be soliciting him in such a manner. But as Perin sat in the middle of a crowded tavern, negotiating a very dangerous journey for them, she knew he would never risk turning to glare at her. His duty to keep her safe would come first- he would never risk looking at her and showing any sign that they were connected.

The knowledge that she had a small amount of time left to get his blood hot enough made Liliene edge her ghost fingers further up his thighs. Her index and middle fingers slowly walked towards his inner thigh and she watched as his eyes widened , figuring out her intent.


Perin’s entire body tensed as he felt the phantom fingers stroking the thick fabric of his pants along the crotch seam line. It was a mix of shock and anger that made his blood turn cold. It was Liliene, it had to be. He wanted to yell at her, to tell her that this wasn’t the time for her games, but he wouldn’t risk looking at her just in case the smuggler noticed. He couldn’t afford to give away her position.

She was good, he had to give her that. The Princess had chosen the perfect time to further her pursuit of him. He couldn’t respond, and they both knew that. And his only way of getting away from her assault would be to get out of her line of sight. As Liliene’s ghost fingers gently stroked the bulge of his testicles through his pants he gritted his teeth in determination.

“A separate passage would be safer.” The Smuggler said for the third time. Perin shook his head.

“No, we have to go together.” Perin insisted.

“Your ships would only be a few hours apart.”

“A few hours that I cannot afford.”

“In the span of a week and a half, two hours is but a breath.” The smuggler said with a shrug.

“You want me to trust my wife in the hands of your bribed smugglers?” Perin laughed. His mirth was cut short when Liliene’s Ghost Hand gave his soft manhood a squeeze. It took all of Perin’s concentration not to jump in surprise.

“It would be riskier for you to both travel to together. If we are audited by the Border troops then it will be easier to explain the presence of a whore on one ship and a Southern sailor on another than a Southern couple travelling together.” The Smuggler said through gritted teeth. Though he had taken care to keep his voice to a low whisper it still held a lot of anger.

“My wife is not a whore.” Perin said irritable, despite the fact that Liliene’s Ghost Hand was now gently stroking his manhood and proving her wantonness.

“Nor are you a sailor. But while you are on one of my ships you had best learn to pretend to be what I tell you to be.” The Smuggler said.

Perin would have been angry at the man for his insolence, but the feeling of Liliene’s spelled hand stroking his length distracted him. Right now he was ready to tell the man that he was welcome to have Liliene on a separate ship if he thought he could handle her, but he reigned in his disapproval of her methods and decided that the best plan of action would be to wrap up this conversation and get Liliene to a place where he could give her a severe tongue lashing.

“One ship.” Perin managed to demand, even though the blood was leaving his brain and rushing to his cock. It was getting harder and harder to ignore Liliene’s spell. It had been a long time since he had felt a woman’s hand stroking him so artfully.

“An extra ten gold for the added risk to my crew.” The Smuggler said, disgruntled.

“Five.” Perin negotiated. At this rate he and Liliene would be hard pressed to get to Linkentrop at all. Getting past the border undetected was one thing, but they still needed to get to the capital city of the East.


“Six-” Perin’s sentence ended in a sharp intake of breath as Liliene gave his swelling cock a hard squeeze.

“Eight.” Her entire palm wrapped around his girth.

“Seven.” He managed to splutter as she begun to stroke him.


“Seven.” He bartered, barely able to concentrate as her hand sped up. It was bad enough that he had to sleep with her for the past week, but this was just plain torture.

“Eight, nothing less.”

“Fine, eight, but you will find another role for my wife besides a whore. I will not have her spoken of that way.” Perin said.

Perin understood the need for pretense, especially considering how dire their circumstances had become, but he would never have it said that Princess Liliene was a whore- even if it were just for a disguise. Even if she were a stubborn, rebellious wench at times it was his job to ensure that she be treated with respect. As the pace of her phantom stroked sped up and Perin’s breath came faster he realized that he had to protect her not only from her brother but from herself.

“If you have luggage that will be extra.” The Smuggler said, wiping his sweating face on his sleeve. At first the man had been extremely nervous, but the business talk seemed to mollify him somewhat- this man was clearly more comfortable when talking about his trade.

“We have nothing but the clothes on our back and one small pack each.” Perin said.

“Very well. I will talk to my men and meet you back her tomorrow evening.” The Smuggler told him with a grim now.

“Sounds good.” Perin managed to hiss through carefully controlled breaths. The Smuggler finally seemed to notice Perin’s loss of composure and looked at him curiously.

“Are you well?” The man asked suspiciously “We won’t take on sick people- I’ll not risk the health of my crews.”

Perin wanted to strangle Liliene.

“I’m fine.” Perin snapped. Despite his reassurance the man seemed to notice the small beads of sweat that now dotted his hairline. The feeling of Liliene’s ghost hand on his erection was scratching an itch that he had been suffering from for a long time. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to drag her into the nearest dark alley and do the job properly. He wouldn’t though. He couldn’t- he was her Guardian and she was his Princess. Even thinking of her in that manner was an affront to his vows.

“Very well, I will see you tomorrow. Same place, same time… Except I want a corner table tomorrow.” The Smuggler said before getting to his feet and pushing his way through the wall of bodies to get to the door.

The sudden absence of the man meant that there was very little distraction from Liliene’s ministrations. In between some strokes she would stop and pay attention to the head of his erection, her fingers tracing circles on him through the thick fabric of his pants, before coming back to stroke him harder and faster. Perin had to bite back a groan as he felt his balls tighten eagerly, desperately wanting release. He wanted to let her do this almost as badly as he wanted to reprimand her for her rash behavior. For a moment, he forgot their plan. He was so distracted by Liliene’s Ghost Hand that he couldn’t quite remember the signal he was meant to give her. He was tempted to look over at her, he wanted to see what was going on behind those deep brown eyes of hers, but he knew that it was too dangerous.

It took a few minutes for Perin to break through the lust-induced fog in his mind and remember to scratch his nose. That was the signal they had arranged. Liliene’s hand immediately stopped moving, but lingered over his throbbing erection hesitantly. For a tense moment he thought that she would ignore his signal, however, her Ghost Hand gave his cock one last squeeze before his lap felt painfully empty.

Perin was too distracted by his painful erection to bother looking up to see what other mischief Liliene would cause. However, a few moments later there was a loud roar at bar and one of the sailors turned and punched an adventurer hard in the mouth. The adventurer’s friends cried out in anger before jumping on the sailor. The sailor’s mates decided to join in the scuffle and in an instant the relative order of the tavern turned into utter chaos. As the fight escalated people either got off their seats to dive into the brawl or high tailed it towards the door.

Finally, Perin saw the deep brown wool of Liliene’s travelling cloak rise from a table on the other side of the room and make for the door. With an almost single-minded determination he followed her from the Tavern, desperate to ensure safety- if only so that he could yell at her for her foolishness.


Liliene could hear Perin’s footsteps echoing through the night as she made her way through the maze of cobblestone streets to get back to their Inn. Her heart was beating fast and her face was flushed from the stunt she had pulled. She had done it with the sole purpose of getting his attention, but unsurprisingly the feel of his cock in her hand, even through the fuzzy perception of the Ghost Hand, had made her core throb as it became slick with her desire.

As Liliene walked she could hear Perin pick up his pace. It wasn’t long before he was walking beside her, his entire body tensed, his fists clenched angrily by his side. She snuck a look at him out of the corner of her eyes but he was looking forward, his deep blue eyes glaring off into the night. She reached out and tried to grasp his hand in her own but he snatched it away.

“We are meant to be husband and wife.” She hissed, so low that she wondered if he would hear it.

“We are not at the inn yet.” He snapped. Liliene rolled her eyes but kept her hands to herself.

Unlike the buildings in the middle of the city which were stout structures made of stone, the Inn on the outskirts was made of ageing wood. The structure towered two stories above the other low-lying buildings, and was always busy. It was the place where most travelers stayed on their first night in the city- the place closest to the town gates, yet far enough from the centre of town to avoid the late-night noise

It wasn’t until they were able to make out the words handing on the rickety wooden sign above the door of the Inn that Perin shortened his stride and stepped closer to her. This time when Liliene took his hand in hers he didn’t pull away, but he also didn’t grasp hers properly. His fingers just sat in hers limply like a dead fish. Liliene figured that it was better than nothing.

It was well into the night when they walked into the Inn, but the owner was still bustling around the bar as they did so. He looked up at them and gave them a polite nod before continuing to sweep the floors. Perin and Liliene walked through the open doorway and towards the stairs. Their room was on the second floor, and it took them hardly any time to reach it. Perin jammed the key into the lock angrily and opened the door. The room was wood paneled, with one small window opposite the door, and a rough bed against the wall. There was one table with short candle and a rough wooden chair.

“Perin-” Liliene begun, but stopped abruptly when Perin pushed her into the room none-too-gently.

“Wait.” He orderede, turning to lock the door behind them before turning back to her, his eyes alight with anger. “What the hell do you think you were doing?”

“Perin, relax! It was just a bit of harmless fun.” Liliene said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“A bit of fun? Princess, I was negotiating with a smuggler to get us passage to the East! For the last week and a half have been hunted- they want to kill you! Nothing we do here is for fun!” Perin said, slipping his leather gloves off his hand.

Liliene rolled her eyes and pulled her hood down, allowing her smooth sheet of raven hair to cascade from its folds. Her fingers tingled as she remembered how it felt to hold his rigid cock. She looked up at him and her perfectly manicured black eyebrows furrowed.

“And you think this tension between us is helpful?” Liliene asked, her hands balling into fists. Perin’s posture became rigid and he glared at her.

“There is no tension between us.” He growled defensively, his voice forced and unconvincing. Liliene laughed.

“You kissed me a month ago.” She said matter-of-factly.

“It was an accident. A mistake. I have apologized for that.” Perin said bitterly, looking away from her and crossing his arms over his chest.

“What about the other morning when I woke to feel you pressed against my back?” Liliene asked, raising her eyebrow questioningly.

“It was a cold night, we had no choice but to be close.” He said with a jerky shrug.

“Yes, but the cold doesn’t explain the heat that I felt.” Liliene said evasively, knowing that Perin would know exactly what she meant.

“I couldn’t help that!” Perin said through gritted teeth. “Ask any male- I wake up like that more often than not.” His high cheek bones flushed a deep red and Liliene smiled. It made him look terribly endearing.

“Yes, so I’ve heard, but when you pressed it against me what was I to think?” Liliene asked, stepping closer to him.

“Your Highness, I am going to sleep. We have a long day on the morrow and an even longer night following that. You’d best get some rest.” Perin turned from her quickly and went to his pack that was in the corner of the room. He shrugged off his nondescript brown travelling cloak and undid his sword belt. When he leant over to untie his boots Liliene stepped up behind him and placed her hand on his lower back, feeling the heat of his skin through the rough spun tunic.

“I’ve seen you watching me when you think that I’m not looking.” Liliene whispered. Perin’s body froze beneath her touch. “I don’t see why you are so adamantly against accepting my affection.”

For a few moments Liliene believed that Perin would just ignore her. Much to her surprise he straightened up and turned to face her, his stunning blue eyes dancing with emotion.

“I made a vow to keep you safe from harm.” Perin’s voice was strangled.

“That is your reason?” She asked with a laugh “I know you made a vow Perin, but think about this realistically- can you possibly hope to keep me from every harm? What if I stub my toe when I leave this room? What if I fall of my horse whilst riding?”

“The ambush was different! I was supposed to protect you and instead we got captured!”

“We were overwhelmed.” Liliene said soothingly “You did the best you could and both you and I are alive to tell the tale.” Perin’s blue eyes darted away from hers and she knew he wasn’t convinced by her platitudes. “But Perin, that doesn’t explain why you don’t want me.”

“Don’t want you?” Perin said, eyes going wide. “Oh for the love of-” He stopped, shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. He took a couple of deep breaths before his eyelids fluttered open and she was caught in the torrent of his entrancing eyes. “It isn’t that I don’t want you,” he said, voice resigned “it’s that I can’t want you.”

“Why?” Liliene demanded “Why can’t you want me?” Perin looked at her as though she had slapped him.

“Why? You ask why? Where do you want me to start?” Perin asked angrily. “You are my Princess and I am nothing but your Guardian! Your parents were the King and Queen and mine were naught but peasants. Guardians are not allowed to take lovers.”

“When I am Queen I can change that.” Liliene said, unable to look away from his stormy blue eyes.

“When you are Queen you will be married to the King of the East!” Perin returned. Liliene’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open. “This trip wasn’t a holiday! You and I both know that the party was escorting you to arrange a marriage! You know this yet you ask me why I can’t want you?” His voice was pained and his eyes desperate.

“Perin…” Liliene whispered, reaching out and cupping his cheek in her hand. He closed his eyes for a moment and leant into her touch. When he opened his eyes again he let out a heavy sigh and took a step away from her, her heart ached at the distance.

“Liliene, please don’t make this any harder.” Perin said.

Liliene’s eyes stung as reality hit her hard. She had known that she would be going to arrange a marriage, but her mind had blocked it from her heart. She didn’t want to marry a Easterner. She didn’t want to marry for power. She certainly didn’t want to marry just to spite her brother.

The Princess had spent the past ten years in her Guardian’s company. He had been there to protect her from harm, to counsel her when she was concerned, and to support her through her toughest hours. He was everything she wanted in a husband; smart, fierce, loyal and strong. When she looked into his eyes now she could see her own longing mirrored in his eyes.

When Liliene’s lips fell against Perin’s a bolt of hot desire sizzled through her entire body. In an instant he wrapped his arms around her and she melted into him. Her tongue ran impatiently along his lips and they parted, eagerly allowing her access his mouth. His kiss was just as hungry as hers as his arms tightened around her.

Liliene pulled her lips away from his and rested her forehead against his chin. Her chest was heaving, her breaths rapid and irregular.

“I want you.” The words rolled of his tongue and crashed down upon her like a tidal wave. Years of waiting and needing exploded inside of her and her entire body burnt with the need to feel him inside of her.

Liliene placed her hands on Perin’s firm chest and pushed him back against the closed door. He let out a gasp of shock but she cut it off when her lips slammed against his. Her hands traveled down his chest, skimming over his stomach and thighs to grasp the hem of his tunic. When she had a hold of the fabric she pulled it up desperately. They broke their kiss for just long enough to get the tunic over his head, before resuming with the same desperation and intensity.

When Perin’s hands came up to unclasp her cloak Liliene moaned into his mouth. His hands slipped under the fabric and then pushed it off her shoulders, the cloak pooling on the ground behind her gracefully. His deft fingers then slid to the laces of her leather corset, he plucked at them for a few moments before the item was loose enough for him to slide down over her hips. Next, his fingers slipped under her shirt and lifted it over her head.

The next time that they broke their kiss they weren’t so eager to resume it. Instead, Perin looked down at Liliene’s exposed breasts in awe. Slowly, carefully, he reached up to take her glorious mounds in his hands, allowing her aroused nipples to bite into his palms tantalizingly. Liliene smiled up at him, loving the way that his eyes were filled with awe.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered. His hands moved lower over her pert breasts and he rolled her nipples between his fingers. Liliene moaned as she leant forward, eagerly pressing her naked torso against his. His skin felt like molten gold against her own, his chest burning her body with pure desire.

Liliene kissed Perin again, this time more slowly, as her hands memorized the planes of his back and chest. When she reached the waistband of his breeches she tugged at them impatiently and he groaned, leaning his head back against the door. She could feel his erection pressed against her lower stomach and pushed her body harder against his. His fingers pinched at her nipples almost painfully and she cried out.

Carefully, Liliene pulled away from Perin and took his hands in hers. As she led to the bed all she could think about was the way it had felt when her Ghost Hand had taken his length and stroked it. She knew that the Ghost Hand spell was often very realistic, but she wanted to feel it for certain. Liliene put her hands firmly on Perin’s shoulders and guided him to sit on the bed, and then to lie down. When he was lying before her, his chest heaving with desire, his erection tenting his pants, she smiled and crawled onto the bed, straddling his upper thighs eagerly.

Liliene looked into Perin’s eyes and was caught in them as her fingers pulled at the laces on his breeches. As she did so, she couldn’t help but brush against his length, every time she made contact he sucked a sharp breath in through his teeth and her womanhood flushed with the fluid of her arousal. Finally, the laces were loose enough for her to pull his pants down over his hips.

Liliene had seen Perin half naked before. There were many times where the heat of their home land had meant that he trained without his shirt. She had always admired his body, perfectly toned without being too bulky, lithe and graceful yet undoubtedly strong. As she had watched the sweat dripping down his sculpted chest she had imagined that is he was laboring over her rather than his training. However, when she pulled his breeches down she was now able to admire him on a whole new level. He was stunning. He was the perfect length, his deep brown skin peeling slightly back to reveal a pinkish brown tip that was already moist with his precum.

Unable to restrain herself, Liliene leant forward and pressed her lips against his sensitive tip. Perin gasped and one hand shot down to tangle in her hair. Spurred on by his reaction, Liliene flicked her tongue out to taste him and moaned her appreciation. She eagerly eased his cock into her mouth, desperate to have the first of his seed coat her tongue. She took him in as far as she dared before she pulled away until she was barely holding onto him. Her tongue swirled over his exposed tip and his body stiffened underneath her as his hand gripped the back of her head tighter.

It didn’t take Liliene long to find a rhythm that had Perin bucking his hips and panting desperately. The more she sucked, the more she was rewarded by the taste of his seed eagerly leaking into her mouth. Her entire core was flooded with desire and the need to feel him inside of her was becoming overwhelming.

Unwilling to wait any longer, Liliene reluctantly pulled her mouth of Perin and rolled off the bed. She got to her feet and quickly shed her boots and pants, eager to feel his hot skin pressed against her own. As soon as she removed her last item of clothing she noticed that he was watching her with such intensity that it made her blush. His eyes studied every part of her, drinking her in, consuming her with utter need and desperation. Eager to avoid wasting another moment, she crawled back on top of him, straddling his waist and slowly lowering herself down so that she could feel the hardness of his cock pressing into her dripping folds.


Perin groaned as he felt Liliene’s hot wet womanhood pressing down on him. When she had taken him in her mouth it had been amazing, but he was sure that it would pale in comparison to being able to slide inside of her. After a few moments Liliene begun to grind her hips against him slowly, teasingly, and he took the opportunity to reach up and once more fondle her glorious breasts.

The walk home from the Tavern had been tense; not only because Perin was angry with Liliene, but also because he had been unable to rid himself of the erection she had caused. Even though he knew it was wrong, he had wanted her ever since he had begun wanting women. They spent so much time together, and were so close to one another, that being with her only felt natural. Except for when it came to sex; he had resigned himself to the knowledge that he would never be able to be with his Princess in that way. It was that resignation that had kept him safe from her charms for the last year or so, and his inner acceptance that his role as her Guardian was far more important than his ill-conceived desire for her.

Perin’s breath caught in his throat as Liliene raised her hips away and positioned herself so that his tip was pressed lightly against her entrance. The look in her pretty brown eyes was one of determination, a look that he had seen in her eyes so many times that he had come to believe it was one of the few looks she was capable of. That look brought all of his concerns crashing back down upon him.

“Liliene…” He started. Now that his sensibilities had returned he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t risk ruining their relationship or putting her in danger just so that he could get off. He was about to continue his protest, to tell her that they should stop, when she looked down at him, rolled her eyes, and took sheathed his entire length within herself in one quick movement.

The way that Liliene cried out as she fell down upon him was enough to drive his momentary panic from his mind and reawaken his lust. Everything else in his mind faded away into nothingness as his entire consciousness focused on how amazing it felt to be enveloped deep within her core. She was deliciously wet and tight and the way she moved her hips was hypnotic. Every now and again she would moan a little and her core would tighten around him, coaxing his seed a little further and further each time. As she rode him he kneaded her breasts and pinched her nipples.

Time blurred for Perin as his long denied wish came true. Liliene looked glorious in the throes of her passion. Her high cheekbones were coloured with an alluring shade of red, her eyes were closed and her rose red lips slight parted as she moaned in desire. As she gyrated her hips her breasts bounced slightly and her black hair fell forward to hide just enough of her skin so that Perin was left in a constant state of wanting to see more of her.

The only thing that Perin could keep track of was the way that his cock responded to Liliene. It hadn’t taken long for him to reach a point where he could easily spill his side within her. However, after waiting so long for this moment he had no inclination to let it end so soon.

Liliene’s cries intensified, and her core squeezed him with more frequency and intensity. Within a few moments her hands were pressed against his bare chest, her fingernails digging painfully into his skin as she threw her head back and screamed out in rapture. Her womanhood squeezed him with such intensity that he had to bite the inside of his cheek to distract him from the pleasure so that he wouldn’t come inside her.

When Liliene’s cries finally subsided and she collapsed against him, Perin took the opportunity to pepper a trail of kisses along the sensuous curves of her neck and shoulder. After giving her a moment to catch her breath he wrapped his arms around her back and rolled over so that she was now beneath him, her legs spread wide beside his hips and his cock deep within her. Her mouth was open in a perfect circle of surprise and he grinned. She wasn’t the only one that could take control.

copyright ©2009 by A_Satori. All rights reserved.

[Author's note: This story is Part 3, the conclusion of A Prison Break I recommend both previous "chapters" be read prior to reading the story below.]

[Acknowledgments: My thanks to Andrea4328 for her editorial input. Her work on this story is greatly appreciated. Any mistakes remaining in the text are mine alone.]

****************I was glad she had taken off that damn dangling chain from her eyebrow ring when I asked her to do it. I looked at the small group of dancers. It was so crowded in the club, it seemed more like they were just moving up and down, a bubbling area of bodies in the sea of zombies. I figured I could bounce up and down. I exhaled, finished my drink, set the cup on the table, and said, “Fine! One dance!”

Lana grinned and instantly started pulling me towards the undulating circle. We pushed into the group passed a few couples. Lana started dancing, got into it right away, including the theatrical facial expression. On the other hand, even after three drinks, one being a double, I stood there swaying a little, feeling incredibly self-conscious. I just moved my hips and shoulders a bit, hoping there wouldn’t be a burst of laughter from the mob.

I looked around. I hadn’t seen college age people dance in a while. I noticed a couple to our left, the guy was basically dry humping the girl’s ass. I looked to the right. Another couple was doing the same thing. I saw another guy crouch down and his date moved between his spread thighs and virtually shoved her cunt right into his face. I stopped looking when Lana backed her seductive apple ass into my crotch. Her head twisted around.

“Put your hands on my waist!”

I did. Her hands covered mine and held them. She started dry humping my now full erection. I basically just stood there. Tens seconds later she bumped her ass against my throbbing prick a few times.

“C’mon! Move too!”

I obeyed and started dry humping her butt. A half minute later she turned around, put my hands on her shoulders, her hands went to my waist, and as best she could in her miniskirt, she started rhythmically humping my thigh, then moved between my legs, then to my other thigh, the ‘into the music’ expression still painted on her face.

Dancing had really changed since my college days, although I had never paid that much attention to it back then either. Maybe I should have. I was always at the other end of the bar drinking. I smiled when Lana turned around again and her firm bottom pressed against my cock. My hands on her waist pulled her tighter to me. I began envisioning a night of wild lust when we got home. I couldn’t take my eyes off her butt.

We danced, or more accurately, humped through three more songs. We were both sweating when I leaned down and pressed my lips to her ear. “Let’s go home. You’ve made me so fuckin’ horny, honey.”

Lana giggled. “Not yet. C’mon. A few more dances.”

I pulled my head back to look into her eyes. She had her eyebrows raised and the rest of that goddamn cute Oh c’mon pleeeeease for me pleeeease face on. She was learning all my buttons pretty fast. Another song started as my lips went to her ear again. “I need another drink first!”

“No you don’t! Let’s just dance!”

I gripped her hand and shook my head. “Drink first!”

She exhaled. “All right!”

We waded through the crowd to the bar, it was slow going, then another couple minutes before a barmaid come over.

The young woman smiled. “What would you like?!”

I noticed her big tits again. “A double bourbon rocks and a…!” I looked at Lana. Her face was now wearing her I saw you checking her tits out expression. I smiled. “Wha’d'ya want?!”

“Ginger ale!”

I looked at the barmaid again. She nodded then stepped away and started building the drinks. I reached for my wallet. Lana tugged my arm. I dipped my head to her.

“You wish I had bigger boobs, don’t you?!” Her eyes were intense.

I gazed into her blues. I smiled and shook my head. “No! You’re incredibly perfect!”

She exhaled and rolled her eyes.

Our drinks arrived and I paid the young woman. “Keep it!”

We moved towards the wall where there was a better chance of getting a tiny table to stand at and actually have some elbow room. We found an open one. I was dying for a smoke but a city ordinance banning smoking in bars had passed a few months ago. I watched Lana sip her soda. Her body was swaying and turning to the beat of the music. I took a swig of my drink and set the plastic cup down. My hand went to her lower back as I kept watching her little body move and the profile of her pretty face.

She looked at me. “What?!”

I half smiled. “You look so damn hot!”

She nodded then flapped her hand in front of her face fanning herself. “I know! I wished they’d open windows or something!”

I chuckled. She wasn’t kidding. I leaned down to get my lips at her ear. My hand on her lower back drifted down to her ass. The wall was behind us. “I meant you have a very hot body, baby. I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” I gave her bun a firm squeeze, she tensed for a moment. “Why don’t I finish this drink and then we’ll just go home.” I kissed her neck. She tilted her head offering better access. I planted three more kisses on her warm, moist skin.

“We have to dance some more first! But… I’ll speed us up!” She set her soda down and grabbed my drink. She downed nearly all of it, just leaving a tiny sip.

My jaw clenched for a second. “Goddammit! Why did you do that?!”

She grabbed her soda and took a big gulp to wash the taste of whiskey from her mouth. She looked me squarely in the eyes. “You’re drunk enough! I… I wanna be with you, not totally drunk you!”

My jaw loosened. Her simple statement diffused my anger. I was getting pretty loaded. And I was driving. I smiled, my lips went to her ear again. “Fine. I’m actually glad you drank that because I like being with the little bit drunk you better.” I laughed.

“Shut up!” She slapped my arm pretty hard.

“That was a joke! You bitchy little booze thief!” I took her soda and had a large sip.

“Watch it or you may not get any tonight! And give me that!”

I laughed as she took her plastic cup from my hand. She finished it then grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bubbling pool of rhythmic dry humpers.

After three more dances I told Lana if we didn’t leave now, I’d cum in my pants, and I didn’t want to waste it on Fruit of the Looms. Maybe because of the dancing the liquor seemed to have hit her bloodstream really fast. She looked at me with slightly inebriated eyes, then wrapped her hand around the back of my neck and pulled my head down so her lips were at my ear.

“I want you inside me so badly right now. Let’s go.”

We got to the truck as quickly as we could. After a few deep tongue exercising kisses that were about to lead to something more, Lana broke away, breathing heavily and said, “Let’s get going. Just be careful driving. Don’t speed, just… just hurry up.”

I laughed and headed towards the expressway. After we got past the busier city traffic and were nearing the first suburb, I put my right hand on Lana’s thigh, stroking it, moving her miniskirt higher and higher, until my palm cupped the cotton panel covering her pussy. It felt warm and slightly damp. She squirmed in her seat, moving closer to me without removing her seat belt.

“Take your panties off, Lana.” I thought she’d give me some smart remark, but she quickly raised her ass and pulled the little garment down and off her legs. She had taken her pumps off. I looked at her feet. “Put the heels on again.”

She giggled and mumbled, “You perv.” She slipped them on.

My hand went back to her pussy. I worked slit and clit with a couple fingers. She really got slippery. Ten minutes from our exit, she had an orgasm.

At the house we virtually ripped each other’s clothes off. I got the comforter from my bed and spread it out on the living room floor, then got all four pillows from my bed and a small, black plastic bag from the closet shelf. Lana was already lying on the comforter, her little, naked body making my stiff cock throb with increased lust. I put the pillows down then sat and handed her the bag.

“What’s this?” She sat up.

“Little present.”

She pulled out the anal plug ‘training set,’ a string of condom packets, and a new tube of lubricating gel. She held up the plugs. “These… these are new?”

“Yeah. They’re yours now. I washed them already.” I watched her get all three plugs out of the plastic box. “Do… do you still wanna try it?” I saw her smile.

She looked at me. “Yeah. Do… do you?”

I chuckled and she rolled her eyes.

“Do… do I put these in?”

I smiled. “No, I will, but first…” I took everything from her hands and set it to the side. “I need to kiss every square of you.”

I nudged her down to the comforter again. I started with her lips and worked my way down, dallying at her breasts, then much longer at her pussy, my hands holding her luscious bottom, raising her up, and tonguing her to another orgasm. I continued my oral journey all the way down to her toes. I told her to turn over. I began the reverse side trip, up from her heels, both legs, over the curves of her always pouting bubble butt, up her back to her shoulders, down both arms, then returning to her neck, dallying there then down her spine kissing but mostly just drawing a line with the tip of my tongue to her tailbone.

I pulled a couple pillows over. “Raise up.” Her bottom rose and I pushed the two pillows under her hips. “Okay.” She lowered onto them. Her ass looked glorious. I held her hips and smeared my face across her smooth, firm buns. I was breathing faster and deeper than normal. “Ahhh… Lana.”

I gripped her fleshy swells and opened her deep valley. She stiffened for a moment then relaxed. My tongue laved on and around her hot little hole. She tensed again for a few seconds.

“Oh…. ohhhhhgahhhhhd,” she murmured.

My tongue worked as my palms massaged her glutes. I could hear her breathing quickening again, just as it had when my mouth was on her pussy.

She whispered, “I want you inside me there… oh god… mmmhh.” Her hips churned.

I pulled my face away and moved to get the tube and the small and medium plugs. I slid another pillow next to Lana’s shoulder, and told her to raise up into a half doggy position. She knew what I meant. She pulled the pillow under her head and her butt rose as her legs moved into a kneeling position. I lubed the smallest plug and set it down, then my fingertip applied some lube to her hot little hole. She giggled and tensed at the coolness of the gel. As I brought the tip of my middle finger to the apex of her anus, my other hand went under her and cupped her little pussy. My finger found her clit still turgid, still slippery from my earlier oral ministrations. Her hips squirmed for a moment. I wiggled and gently pressed the tip of my finger at the center of her squinting little hole.

I spoke softly, “Anytime you don’t like something, tell me and we’ll stop. Okay?”

“Uh-huh. I want to do this.”

“Relax and push out a little.”

I knew that sounded contradictory but I didn’t know how else to say it. I felt her anus relax. My finger started slowly undulating into her ass.

“Oh god.” Lana’s breathing quickened.

I worked her clit a little faster. “Do you like this?”


Within a minute the entire length of my middle finger was repeatedly slowly sliding forward and retracting within her ass. She started pushing back to meet my probing digit. She reached under herself and grabbed my hand playing with her pussy.

“Don’t… I’ll cum if you keep doing that. I… I don’t want to yet.”

I pulled my hand away and stroked her inner thigh, then her small breasts. I finger fucked her ass for another minute, then brought the smallest plug to her slightly open little hole. I touched the smooth tip to the tiny ‘o’.

“Push out a little like before.”

She was panting. “Okay.”

My other hand cupped her pussy again. I slowly worked the plug into her. The first half slid in easily, then she tensed. “Relax, baby.” I felt her hole loosen. I pushed it all the way in. As the widest part passed her anus, she tensed for a moment until it popped inside. I fingered the base of the plug, pushing forward and side to side. “You okay”"

“Uh-huh. It… it felt big for a second.”

I pulled it out a minute later and repeated the process with the gelled medium size toy. Her breathing turned ragged when it popped inside.

“Uh. That’s… feels… um… bigger.” She moaned when I started diddling her clit again. “Mmmhhhh.” I wiggled the base for a minute or so, then pulled the plug partially out, just passed the widest part, and then pushed it back in. She tensed for a moment.

“Ohgod,” she whispered.

I did it again, then three more times. Her little hole expanding and contracting– o-O-o. “Do you like it?”

“Uh-huh… yessss.” She panted a few breaths. “I want your cock in me there.”

I did too. I pulled the plug out dropped it on the comforter and reached for a condom packet.

“Do you have to use that?”

“I… I think it’s best for… for disease or something.”

“Do you have some STD?”

“No. I think it’s for hepatitis.”

“Do you have that?”


“Then… don’t use it. I… I want to feel you cum in my bottom.”

I wasn’t going to argue with her because I wanted the same thing. I lubed my aching, throbbing cock and reached over her for the pillows. “We’ll start with you on your side, I think that’s the easiest way to… to begin with. Let me pull these pillows out of the way. It’ll be like spooning.”


I moved the pillows out from under her as she rolled onto her side.

“Can you reach back and hold your top bun open?”

“Uh-huh.” She did it.

I saw her anus was dilated, the hole about the size of the neck of the medium plug, about the diameter of a nickel. I didn’t use the largest plug, I thought she’d balk at trying my cock even if she could have taken the largest toy. The widest part of it was slightly smaller than my girth. “Jeezuz, Lana… every inch of you is beautiful.” My hand guided the head of my cock to her hot, now open, hole. I nudged the lubed tip in.


“If you want to stop, just tell me. I’ll stop.”


I firmly and gently started pushing in. “You can push back when you feel like it.”

“Oh god… you feel so big.”

I didn’t argue about that this time. Half the head of my prick was being hugged by her hot ring. I felt my balls tighten. “Urrh… jeezuz… I’m not going to last long, Lana, this… this is too damn hot.”

“Don’t… I… I want you all the way inside.”

I’m not sure how long it took, but with starts and stops, and mostly letting Lana push back when she wanted, my cock finally sunk all the way into her hot ass. Her torrid anus was gripping the base of my prick as if it was holding on for dear life. I was taking ragged breaths, so was she. “Lana… this feels so damn good, so… so incredibly hot. Are… are you okay, baby?”

“Uh-huh… god… but you’re so… big.”

I pulled the pillows over. “Let’s try to turn onto your stomach, so you’re on the pillows again. Tell me to stop if it hurts.”


We slowly rolled into the position, my cock still deep in her ass. “You okay?”


I held my weight off her back with my left elbow as my right hand slid under her. My middle fingertip started diddling her still turgid clit.


“Lana, I want to start moving my cock. Okay?”

“Uh-huh. I… I feel so full of you.”

Even though I was a hair away from shooting my wad, I almost laughed, thinking being full of me was about the same as being full of shit.

“I like this… it… it feels hot and… and so weird.” She shivered when I kissed her shoulder. “Your finger… ohgod… I’m getting close.”

I slowly retracted my cock, enjoying each inch creep passed her hugging sphincter.

“Mmmmm… oh… oh yeah.”

I pushed into her again. She tensed. I stopped.

She exhaled. “Keep going.”

I obeyed, slowly my cock sunk into her luscious ass. I squirmed my hips. I almost shot my load when I felt her ass push into my groin and squirm too. Jeezuz… she did like it. If I wasn’t so close to cumming I would have grinned. I pulled back and pushed in again, grinding again when I was fully planted in her. She responded again.

“Oh yeah… do it… do it a little faster.” Her breathing grew more ragged.

I pulled back and pushed in with a bit more speed. She moaned when I grinded for a few seconds. I kept pulling back and pushing in, and my finger continued playing with her pink pearl. A minute or so later, we got into a good rhythm. I was fucking Lana anally. I was fucking Lana’s perfect, hot, apple ass. Just the thought again almost made me shoot. “Honey… I can’t wai…”

She interrupted. “Oh god! Harder… I’m-I’m-I’m gonna…. ooooh.”

I pulled back and did more of a thrust than a push. She shoved her ass up and back, her hot hole gulping my muscle into her bottom. It was a miracle I lasted three more thrusts. After the second one I nearly shouted, “I’m gonna cum!”

“Yes! Now! NOW!” Lana began convulsing, her hand made it to mine at her pussy and she pulled it away.

I thrust into her ass the hardest yet, my groin smacking her bottom – smat! – and that was it. “ARRRRH!” My hips went crazy as if they were trying to get more of my fully engulfed cock up her ass. My body went rigid. I pushed my face into the pillow at her head. “Ahh! Fu-UK!” My rod started pumping in her rectum. It felt like each spasm spewed a lot of jiz. I kept pushing down and she kept pushing up and swaying her hips. Jeezuz… it felt so damn good. Finally I was spent.

I started gasping breaths. Lana already was. I had to take a dozen breaths and swallow a couple times before I could speak. “Honey…” I swallowed and gasped yet again. “… are you okay?” Her head turned towards mine on the pillow. We exhaled and inhaled each other’s breaths.

Lana smiled. “Uh-huh.” She huffed a few more gulps of air. “That was so… so hot and so… god…. I felt so full of you, so… so close to you, like… like the regular way.”

I raised more of my weight off her back. I kissed her lips and smiled. “This is… a little naughty though, isn’t it?”

She released a soft giggle. “You make me naughty.” She took another breath. “Are… there other positions?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, just like the regular way, there’s other positions.”

She took a few deeper breaths. “Which do you like best?”

I glanced at the couch, then gazed into her pretty blue eyes. “Like… you on the couch or on the bed, you know how sometimes I fold your legs up and back?”


“I could enter your sweet bottom that way, facing you. I’d… I’d really like to look at your face when we do it, I want to look into your eyes.” I swear she blushed.

“Can we do it that way tonight?”

“Aren’t you sore… tender?”

“I… I don’t know. No. I’m not tender.”

Incredibly, my softening cock in her ass started growing again.

* * *”Did Barb ever tell you about… ahh… why she’s no longer in contact with them?”

“She told me they had a fight, and they… they really didn’t love her or me at all, and… and I guess she and I were living with them then. They got really angry at Barb about something, they told her to take me and leave and never come back. They said if they ever saw her again, they’d… they’d get the police to take me away from her and… and put me in a foster home. Something like that. I’ve only asked Barb about it a few times, and… the stories were the same, but… but some details were different.”

“Do you know anything about them?”

“No, not really, she never wanted to tell me anything really. I… once I thought about looking them up on the internet, but… I don’t know their names, you know, their first names, and… well, Sullivan is… so common, there’s a lot of Sullivans in the white pages. I’m not even sure what state they live in.”

I gazed at the far wall. I remembered the linen closet photo vividly. Barb’s mother wouldn’t have put Lana in the foster care system. Something Lana just said had my wheels turning. I started to believe they had either threatened or told Barb they were going to take Lana away from her sans the foster care system, because of a different story I was remembering about her parents Barb had told me once when we were both half smashed at some bar. She said it was a couple months after she had finally gotten her high school diploma when her parents left her in the house alone for a week.

They had been invited to some friends’ cottage up in Wisconsin. She said they had surprised her coming home two days early. It had been really rainy at the cottage. She said her parents had walked in on her and her boyfriend of the time, asleep, drunk, naked in the living room. She said they had gotten really angry, she had never seen her father so angry, same for her mother.

When she had told that story, she never mentioned Lana. I hadn’t even thought of Lana when she had told it. Maybe because she was talking about just graduating and even though I knew she had Lana before that, being half smashed at the time, I just didn’t put Lana into my mental picture, especially since Barb didn’t mention her. Where was Lana? I doubted Gramma and Grampa had taken her to the cottage. She must have been with Barb.

Jeezuz… Barb might have forgotten all about Lana, maybe forgetting to feed her half the time, change her diaper, all that stuff. Her parents would have not only gone ballistic, they would have been scared as hell that something could have happened to Lana. They would have threatened, no, not threatened. They might have told her right then, they were going to take Lana away from her.

That had to be it! Barb would have gotten angry, then pleaded they not do it, made all sorts of promises to never screw up like that again. And, then… and then the next day or so, she would have taken Lana and run away.

Jeezuz… that had to be it. At least something like that. They would never have disowned their innocent granddaughter. They might have said they were going to take Lana away from her, even legally, and maybe said they were going to sign commitment papers forcing Barb into rehab. Her parents disowning her and Lana didn’t make sense at all, especially Lana. That woman in the photo would never have done that.

I knew I was inventing a story, but it made sense, especially tying together both the getting caught and the disowning stories. My imagined scenario wasn’t farfetched, it was very possible, especially the time frame. Jeezuz… why didn’t I ask Barb about Lana when she told that story?

Lana looked at me. “What… what are you thinking about?”

I blinked. “Huh? Ahhh… nothing, sorry. I… I just zoned out for a second.”

I looked at Lana. Jeezuz… she had lived all her life thinking her grandparents threw her and Barb out, not caring about nor loving her, believing they would have shoved her into foster care if they had the chance. Jeezuz.

I wondered if I should tell her what I now believed. Was it my place to tell her? Would she believe me? And she’s right, it would be really difficult to find them. I remembered that Barb had told me she grew up in Ohio one time, another time she had said Iowa. I never gave it much thought. I now had a feeling it was somewhere in Illinois… or maybe around Milwaukee or St. Louis? It probably wasn’t Wisconsin, but it had to be close enough to Wisconsin to drive there. She had said ‘up there’ too. We had talked about our childhoods, but she never mentioned the name of the town. Had I ever mentioned the name of the town I lived in when I was a kid? I must have, did she?

Lana raised her eyebrows. “What?”

“Huh? Sorry. Still zoning out.”

“Well… stop doing that.” She smiled.

She looked incredible at that moment, like who the little girl in the photo was meant to be. I cupped her face with my palm and gazed into her pretty blue eyes. “You’re really beautiful. Did you know that?”

Lana lightly blushed. “You don’t have to say that.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I think I do.” I kissed her lips softly.

* * *”Uh-huh… yesssss.” She panted a few deeper breaths too.

“Say it… tell me.”

“I want you to cum… cum in me… I wanna feel it… I wanna feel your cock pum… urh!” Lana’s little body jerked as I started ramming into her again.

All I had needed was to hear her asking. On the fourth plunge I stayed deep, grinding once more. “ARRRRH! FU-UCK!” My body leaned forward a little and stiffened as I felt my nuts tighten and the first dollop of hot jiz shoot up my rod and explode into her depths. Five more thick spurts followed immediately. Lana was squirming wildly again.

“Oh… ohgod I… I feel it!” She raised her feet and pushed her legs back and up then wrapped them around my thighs. I kept holding her hips.

My torso lowered to her back. I was gasping breaths. The anger that seemed to be brewing a few minutes ago had vanished. “Oh… jeezuz… baby.”

I stayed motionless for twenty seconds, still huffing my breaths as I kissed the back of her neck, then her temple, then her ear. I swallowed before speaking. “I think I’m addicted to you, Lana.”

She breathlessly giggled. “Feeling is… mutual.”

I smiled, kissed her neck, then my entire body froze. Even though I was still struggling for air, I stopped breathing. I had said the exact same thing to Barb, in this very position, at this same spot on the table about eight months into our marriage.

“Is… is something wrong?”

I exhaled. “No… nothing, honey.”

Lana turned her head as much as she could to look at me. “Then kiss me.”

I smiled and did.

* * *”You’re… that’s… too rough… Don’t…”

I growled, “You like it rough, Lana… you… told me.” I watched her ass jerk again as I rammed my prick into her. I felt her hand try to grab my hand from her little tits. I grabbed her other little breast.

“Ow! Don’t. Sto… Slow… slow down… not… not so rough… come… c’mon.”

I shut my eyes. I was too fuckin’ close to listen to her.

“Ow! My neck… stop that!”

My eyes shut tighter. I rammed deep again, stayed deep and grinded my cock into her and groin against her ass as hard as I could. “Arrrhh… arrrhh… AH! Fu-UCK!” My body stiffened, but my hips still grinded slightly. My cock started pumping, dollops of thick jiz spewed into her hot, tight, little cunt. I was hoping the fuck would unknot my gut. I guess it did for the most part. I started gasping breaths. I let go of Lana’s tits and the back of her neck. I held her hips.

Lana’s torso rose. She held the top of the head board and jerked her hips forward. My half hard cock popped out of her cunt.

“What the hell did you do that for?” I felt the anger start simmering again.

She didn’t answer me. She slid off the bed and started picking up her clothes around the room. I had nearly ripped them off her. She started towards the door.

I asked, “Where’re you going?” She didn’t answer and disappeared about the jamb into the hall. I exhaled sharply, then muttered, “Now what the fuck?” I lay down on my half of the bed. I mumbled to myself, “Fuck her if she thinks I’m going to run after her. What’s her fuckin’ problem anyway?”

A few minutes later I heard the shower in her bathroom.

I got up and peed, then did a quick wash to get the jiz and cunt juice off my cock. I considered a shower but had just taken one a couple hours ago when I got home from the job. I brushed my teeth and went back to the bed and lay down. I muttered again, “What the fuck is wrong with her? So it was a little rough, so fuckin’ what?”

A few minutes later she came back wearing her longest nightshirt T, the one that nearly went to her knees. She only came into the bedroom a couple steps. Her arms folded over her chest. “I… I didn’t like the way you were tonight. You… you were too rough with me. You weren’t paying attention to me.”

My face tensed. I glared at her. “So… you’re changing your mind about liking it when I get intense, when things get a little rough? You told me a dozen times… hell, two dozen times you like it like that. Now you’re changin’ your fuckin’ tune about it?”

“Okay, yeah, I do like it like that sometimes, but that’s when you’re with me.”

My brow pinched. “What the fuck are you talking about? I was with you. Where the fuck were you?”

“You weren’t with me! You were just fucking. You didn’t care who was in bed with you. It could have been any girl. It didn’t matter to you. I didn’t matter to you.”

“That’s bullshit. I was with you.” I knew she might be right. I didn’t want to think about it.

No you weren’t. You didn’t care about me. I-I told you it was too rough. I told you to stop. You didn’t care. You just kept fucking me, that’s… th-that’s all you cared about… fucking.”

I lied again. “Did you? If you did, I… I didn’t hear you or… or didn’t understand it exactly like that.”

“That’s a lie. You heard me.” She swallowed. Her eyes started welling. “Why… w-why did you d-do that to me?”

Ahhhh… shit. I didn’t need this fuckin’ bullshit tonight. I took a slow breath, then exhaled it just as slowly. “Okay… fine. I’m a jerk. Sorry.”

“You’re not sorry. You’re not s-sorry at all.” One of her folded arms over her chest moved. Her fingers quickly wiped her eyes then her arm returned to her chest.

My jaw clenched again. “How the fuck do you want me to say I’m sorry?”

Her face scrinched. “I… I-I want you t-to mean it.” She coughed or sobbed, I’m not sure which, then quickly wiped her eyes again. “N-nevermind. I… I guess it… I guess it doesn’t m-matter to you.” She turned and started towards the door.

Ahhh FUCK! I jumped out of bed and took two long strides to catch her before the doorway. I wrapped my arms around her. “Wait, Lana.”

“Why? Why should I?” She halfheartedly twisted in my arms.

“Look… I’m… I’m sorry. I really am. I just…”

“I told you to stop and… and you didn’t.”

My brow pinched again. She might have but I honestly didn’t remember that. I had heard her say something about being too rough, but I really couldn’t recall her saying ‘stop.’ I exhaled. Maybe she had. “If… when you did, I didn’t hear you. That’s the truth.”

“You’ve… you’ve said you never wanted to hurt me. Y-you did tonight.”

I actually got a little scared. I had pounded her cunt pretty good. “Are… are you bleeding or something?”

“Not that ki… I’m not bleeding, but yes, that hurt, but… but that’s not what I meant. You… you hurt me… y-you weren’t with me.”

I exhaled again. I made sure my voice was soft, figuring that would make it sound more like the truth, “Okay, I was being selfish, but… but I was with you.” I inhaled. “I’m sorry, Lana. I… I really didn’t mean to hurt you in any way.” Intellectually, I guess I was sorry, but in my gut, I wasn’t. In fact, I was even getting pissed off again.

“Do… do you really mean that?”

“Yeah, I really am sorry, and… and I was with you the whole time. I’ll… I’ll listen closer next time. I… I really didn’t hear you say stop.” I thought about the times she had fucked me like a sex maniac, and had asked me to fuck her the same way. Why the fuck were those times okay, but when… I took another breath. I knew she was right and that tightened my gut a little more. “Will you sleep with me tonight?”

Lana stayed silent for ten seconds. “Are… are you going to be nice?”

I almost laughed. What answer could I give but the one she expected? I grinned then blinked. Something had just happened inside me. The knot was nearly untied and I had no idea why. My sardonic grin softened to a real smile. I kissed her head. “Yeah, I’m gonna be nice. But…”


You have to be nice too.”

“Don’t be an ass. I… I was serious about everything I said.”

My smile vanished. The joke hadn’t worked. “I know you were. Do you want to sleep with me?”

She took a slow breath. She waited ten seconds and two more kisses on her head before she spoke. “Yes.”

* * *”Here, take a dollar in change. It’s not worth more than four.” She kept holding my wrist as she pressed the single into my palm.

I chuckled. “Nah. You keep it. Bargaining with you was at least a dollar’s worth of fun.”

She closed my fingers over the bill and finally let go of my wrist. She started slowly backstepping away. “No. That chair’s not worth more than four. My… my son’s coming home later this evening. He’ll be putting things out tomorrow if… if you want to come back. I think he might have… you know, stereos, music CDs, that sort of thing.” She pushed her hair behind her ear again.

“Okay, well… maybe I’ll come back.”

She smiled. “Good. Do that.” She turned around and walked back to the table area.

For some reason I stood there gazing at her ass. It was slightly plump, but looked firm, fairly big tits too. She had that slightly hourglassy, fortyish figure. I’ve often wondered about chicks like that, wondered what it would be like having sex with a woman just like her. She looked over her shoulder and I got caught gawking. She grinned and gave me a little wave. I nodded and decided I should stop daydreaming and get my ass home.

I put the chair in the bed of the truck, got in and continued to the house, thinking about the chair all the way, my cock growing harder with each passing minute. As I pulled into the driveway, I considered leaving the chair in the truck and teasing Lana that I had bought her a new sex toy. I decided to skip the tease. I parked, got my soft cooler and the chair and entered the house through the garage and mud room.

“Hey, Lana?! You home?!” I grinned expecting to hear her shout telling me not to shout in the house. She had done that a couple times. I saw a piece of PC paper folded and tented on the kitchen table. There was printing on it. My grin faded away. I set the chair down and picked up the note. It read:

Dear Dopey,

Cindy called around noon. She wanted me to go to dinner and see a movie. I told her I’d get back to her. I tried for 2 hours to call you! EIGHT TIMES! Your cell was turned off AGAIN! So I’m out with Cindy tonight, you jerk. Don’t you dare get mad at me. You said I should be as normal as possible with friends, so shut up. I really wanted you and me to do something tonight!!! I’ll probably be home around midnight.



My jaw was clenched. I crumpled the paper up into a ball and threw it as hard as I could against the kitchen window. “Fucking SHIT!” I grabbed my cell out of its holster case. I flipped it open. It was off. I pressed the button to turn it on. Nothing. I pushed it again. Shit. I let the charge run out again. “Fucking shit.” I told myself to relax. I was a hair away from tossing the phone as hard as I had the paper. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I muttered, “Shit.” I turned to the chair and mumbled yet again, “Dammit.”

I moved to the cabinet and pulled out the bottle of Comfort. My gut tensed. I put it back then opened the fridge and grabbed a cold beer. I took a few gulps, set the can on the counter, then sat on my new chair to take my boots off. This time I whispered, “Fuckin’ shit.”

I took out the leftover taco meat from the fridge, constructed a burrito sans the refried beans and miked it. I ate, then took a shower. The whole time thinking about Lana, realizing again I was addicted to her or worse. I didn’t want to consider the ‘L’ word. As I soaped my stiff cock, for a few seconds I considered beating off, but really didn’t want to. I wanted to shoot in Lana’s mouth, or cunt, or ass, not onto the bathtub wall.

I then thought of the garage sale lady and I actually smiled. Maybe I should give her a call. I shook my head and chuckled. I turned off the water, dried off, and got dressed. I had done laundry yesterday evening. I put on my jogging shorts, got another beer and turned on the tube. During a commercial, when I was getting another beer, I brought the dining chair into the living room. For the next hour I watched it more then I did the TV. After about four beers, I dozed off, sometime before the ten o’clock news.

I felt something on my lips, my face. I flinched, then jerked my head to the side. I squinted.

Lana smiled. “Hi.”

I cleared my throat. “Hi.” I blinked a couple times.

“Have you been…” She bit her lower lip for a moment. “…sleeping?”

My gut tightened. I knew what she had been about to say. She could undoubtedly smell the beer on my breath and the empties were on the kitchen counter. “No. I haven’t slept a wink.” I felt a little buzz but I wasn’t drunk at all. I let the anger go. She looked very cute, very pretty, except for… “Lana? Would you mind taking that fucking chain off your face?” I saw anger flash in her eyes for a second, then it disappeared.

“Oh… all right.” She sat up and removed the ring and chain. “Happy now?” She leaned over my head to put the damn chain and ring on the end table. I wrapped my arms around her and started smearing my face over her small, pliant mounds.

“Ahhh! What are you doing?” She giggled.

“Mmmm… nice tits, baby.”

Don’t call them tits. They’re my boobs, my boobies.”

I kept nuzzling and stroking my face against them. I really liked them. Small but very firm. “You’re not wearing a bra.”

“So?” Her fingers stroked through my hair.

“Were there guys with you tonight?”

“Yeah, a couple. We met some people at the theater.” She felt my face stop moving. She exhaled sharply. “No guy rubbed his ugly face on my boobies if you’re wondering.”

I hated being jealous. I really hated it, but I couldn’t help it. I tried to let it go. I wanted to try and save the rest of the evening. I arched my neck back so I could see her face. “What about the girls? Did they rub their ugly faces on your tits?”

Lana giggled. “Yes. All of them! And don’t call them tits!”

“Your friends are twits not tits.” I chuckled.

“Shut up! You don’t even know them.” She tried to push away. I held her tighter.

“Jeezuz… relax.” I would have been more jealous if she had been wearing a tank top. She had a loose T on, but was wearing her black miniskirt. The shirt hem reached her hips. I told myself to get a grip again. “How was the movie?”

“It was kind of stupid. Romantic comedy that wasn’t romantic or funny. Why wasn’t your phone on again?”

“It was on, but the charge went dead.”


“You know, you could have waited until I got home.”

Her eyes flashed with anger once more. “Remember? I did that, when we did have plans. Remember? I waited to almost 11PM for you to show up. You blew me off to drink. And then there was the time y…”

I didn’t want her to list all the times I had fucked up or disappointed her, or just got wasted, or screwed her a little too roughly. I cut in, “That time was a friend who had a prob…” I exhaled. Maybe I wouldn’t salvage the evening. “Okay. Yeah, I’m a jerk.”

“Yes, you are… sometimes.” She slowly smiled softly. “And sometimes you’re the opposite.”

For a moment I wondered what the exact opposite of a jerk was.

She turned her face to my purchase. “So what’s this chair doing in here? Did you just get it?”

“It a present for you.”

“A present for me?” Her brow pinched as she faced me again.

“Actually, maybe it’s more a present for me.”

Her eyes grew larger. “Did you get a dining table and chairs? Is it all in the garage?”

“No. It’s just that chair, and it’s… it’s not really a chair.”

She glanced at it again. “Not a chair, huh? What is it?”

“It’s a sex toy.”

Lana smiled. “A sex toy?” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “How does it work?” She softly laughed.

“Well, take my shorts off and then stand up and slowly take your clothes off and I’ll show you.”

“Is this one of your stupid jokes?”

I smiled and shook my head. “No. No joke.” I was already imagining her undressing and my cock in her.

“I think you’re just trying to get me to pull your shorts off and get me naked.”

“Well… if you don’t want to, then don’t. Of course, then you won’t know how the sex toy works.”

She bit her lower lip for a moment. I figured she was trying to think of some smart ass comment or maybe she didn’t want to play tonight. If it was the latter, I was going to be very disappointed. She finally let her lip slip out from under her teeth. She rolled her eyes and exhaled sharply.

“Okay.” She stood up and looked at my shorts. “Do you have a hard-on?”

I smiled. “I don’t know. See for yourself.” I raised my ass off the cushion. Her torso leaned forward and she yanked my shorts below my hips.

“How can you have a hard-on?!”

“I was stroking my face over your ti… boobies. Didn’t your girlfriends get wet when they did it earlier this evening?”

“Shut up.” She roughly pulled my shorts to my ankles then off. She tossed them towards the hallway. “I can’t believe you have a hard-on.”

“It’ll get harder when I watch you seductively strip for me.”

“I didn’t say I was going to do it like that.”

“Oh… okay.” I grabbed my cock and held it vertically. I began slowly stroking it. I smiled when she watched. I remembered the night she seduced me, licking her upper lip like an actress in some cheap porn flick. I closed my eyes. “Mmm… I’m thinking about your girlfriends rubbing their ugly faces on your boobies. God that’s hot.”

“Shut up.”

I looked at her. “Well, you undressing?”

She exhaled sharply. “Okay, but I’m not doing a silly strip show for you.”

“Oh… jeezuz.” I sat up still stroking my cock. “You’re no fun, but… okay. Take it off, baby.”

She slipped out of her sandals. “Do you have to watch?”

I chuckled. “Yeah.” It was something she said periodically, same for my simple response.

She shoved her tight, stretchy miniskirt down and before her long T shirt fell, I saw the left side of her cotton panties get pulled down to her hip by her skirt. I chuckled.

“Shut up.” She stepped out of the little skirt and tossed it on the recliner. She pulled her panties down from under the shirt so I didn’t get a glimpse of her pussy. It was fast but not a bad strip show. She tossed the panties to the chair but they fell short. I didn’t laugh. She waited a moment, then crossed her arms, grabbed the sides of her T and raised it up and over her head. She threw that to the chair.

“Okay, so… what about the chair?”

I was staring at her trimmed cunt. The delicate labs were closed. I looked up at her small, firm breasts. Her nipples were standing up but I had seen them stiffer. I finally met her eyes. “Are you wet?”

She bit her lower lip and giggled briefly. “Um… no.”

I sighed. “Are you horny?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” She smiled.

I really wasn’t in the mood for much foreplay if any. I would have if she had been home earlier. “Come closer.”

I moved my ass to the front edge of the cushion and spread my thighs. Lana stepped between my knees. I held her waist, leaned forward and planted kisses on her breasts. She put her hands on my shoulders. I whispered, “Spread your legs a little more.”

When she complied, I slid my right hand down between her legs. My middle fingertip gently stroked the center of her slit. I felt her labs instantly blossom. Her inner lips were slippery. I pulled my head back. I looked at her eyes. “You’re wet.”

“Well… I’m not… um… that wet.” This time there was a little devilishness laced into her smile.

I slid my middle finger into her tight channel easily.

Lana closed her eyes. “Mmmh.”

“I’d say you’re wet, honey.” Her hips swayed a little as my finger curled and undulated within her.

Her eyes opened. “Well… you were playing with yourself. I liked watching that.” She giggled.

“You little pervert.”

“Me? You.”

I pulled my finger from her channel. “Sit on my lap and I’ll explain the chair.”

“You mean on your cock?”

I thought about it for a second. “No, my lap.” I shifted back on the cushion.

“Oh. Okay.”

I gawked at her ass as she turned, then sighed when she settled onto my thighs. For a few moments I forgot about the chair as my cock grew even stiffer with the new porn vid in my mind, my cock sinking into her tight, torrid, little asshole. She squirmed her bottom until my rod was wedged between her firm, fleshy buns. I had that ‘kid in a candy store’ sensation. My hands slid under her thighs to the backs of her knees. I raised her legs and opened them, setting her little feet on the outside of my knees. One hand went to her firm diminutive breasts as my other slid between her legs. I started playing with her taut nipples and her clit. Her bottom squirmed.

“Mmmhh.” She took a couple quick deep breaths. “Okay, so… the chair’s a sex toy? How does it work?”

I had forgotten all about the chair. I kissed her neck, then looked at my new purchase.

Jeezuz, her pussy was really getting wet. “Uh…” I kissed her neck again. She tilted her head to give me more to caress. I did, then stroked my face into her herbal hair. I felt her tremble and her ass squirmed yet again.

Her words were getting breathless, “So… so the chair?”

I kissed her shoulder, then gave the nape of her neck a little nip. “Lana? I need to be inside you, but I want you to screw me tonight. That’s what the chair’s for. Do you want to? Do you want to fuck me tonight?” I pushed my face through her soft, brunette hair. I felt her nod.


My mouth moved to her delicate ear. My voice was soft and low, “Say it, honey.” My thumb and index finger tugged and twisted her right nipple firmly but not harshly while my fingertip on her clit rubbed faster. “Say it dirty for me.”

“Oh… mmmh… yesss… I want to… to fuck you tonight. I… I want to fuck your cock with my… my cunt.”

I smiled. She wanted to be naughty tonight. She didn’t like me or herself saying ‘cunt.’

“You’re a naughty girl, aren’t you, baby?”


“Let’s move to the chair.” I pulled my hands off her and she slid off my lap. She turned towards me as I stood.

Her eyebrows rose slightly. “Kiss me first.”

I took her in my arms and she pressed her little body against mine. As soon as our lips met, our mouths opened wide in a passionate, nearly animalistic, fencing match of our tongues. My hands slid down to her pouting ass. I gripped her smooth cheeks firmly. She responded as she always did by huffing air into my mouth. I squeezed harder and she moaned. We broke the kiss simultaneously, each of us gasping breaths.

“C’mon.” I took her hand we moved to the chair. I released her hand and sat down. “See the side rungs?”


I grabbed my rod at the base. “Put your feet on the rungs, and hold my shoulders then… come down on this.” My hand wagged my rigid cock.

Her eyes were on my prick as she moved closer. She started to separate her feet wider. “Um… how… um…”

I chuckled. I hadn’t taken into account how petite she was. “Come over to the side, hold my shoulder, step on the rung, then raise your leg over my thighs to get your foot on the other rung.”

“Oh… like a horse.”

I almost made some crack about my cock being a stallion but I didn’t want to break the mood. I wanted her feeling a little naughty. She mounted the chair. She was so petite, with her legs spread to the rungs, her sweet pink slit wasn’t very far from the tip of my cock.

“Wait… I have to turn my left foot outward.” Her hands pressed down on my shoulders harder as she moved her foot. “Okay… so I… I just lower down now?”

I was staring at her little pussy. “Just a little bit, just touch the tip.” I watched her slit descend a couple inches. The tip dipped between her soft, slippery, delicate petals. I murmured, “Jeezuz… Lana.”


“Your… your pussy is… is gorgeous.” My hand directed the head to her pink pearl. I could feel it was firm. I circled around it, rubbed over it slowly, sensually. Lana shivered.


“Do you like that?”


I diddled my dick against her pearl with a little faster. She twitched.

I slid the tip down her slit again, zigzagging a little. I could almost imagine it was her labia moving, not my cock. I had wanted to have crazy animal sex with her earlier, now suddenly I thought I could watch my prick head stroking her buttery slit for the rest of the night. And it felt great. Lana started trembling.

“My… my legs are feeling weak, with… with you doing that.”

I didn’t look at her face, kept my eyes on her twat. “Too bad.”

“C’mon, you jerk. I… I thought I was going to… to fuck you with my… my…” She exhaled. “Fuck you with my… cunt.”

My libido switched gears again. I looked into her eyes. “Is that what you want, baby?”

“Yes.” Her breathing quickened.

I moved the head of my cock to her opening. “Maybe you should go sl…”

Lana slammed downward. “Oh!” The full length of my cock instantly disappeared into wet, extremely tight sheath. She started squirming like a crazy girl.

Jeezuz… Lana!”

“Mmmmhhh… mhhhh.”

I didn’t want her to stop what she was doing but I had to know if it worked on her the way he had on other chicks, including Barb. “This feels really good, but… I’d like it if you’d… raise up, use your legs, push up so just the head of my cock is inside you, then slide down again… slowly. Okay?” She felt so wet, I wondered if that would lessen the effect.

She was breathing hard. Her hips slowed. “Okay… I wanna do that too.” Her hands gripped my shoulders tighter. She used her legs to push up.

I closed my eyes and actually moaned. “Urrrrhhhhh.” Her always tight cunt was like a squeezing tube around my entire length and girth. “Urrh jeezuz.”

“You… you seem bigger than big now.”

I almost laughed again. “You’re squeezing me. It feels fantastic.” I looked at her face as her pussy creeped up my cock. Her eyes finally met mine. She had a blank expression for a moment, then she started grinning.

“The chair… my legs… it’s… it makes me squeeze you.”

I grinned. “Yeah.”

You’re the naughty one, not me.” She stopped when only the top third of my cock was in her vaginal clutches. Her jaw clenched, then her eyes closed, her hips swayed a fraction side to side.

I closed my eyes too. “Oh, mannnnn.” She was really squeezing it. I looked at Lana. Her eyes were open and intense.

“It almost feels like… like I cold yank it off.” She giggled.

I made my eyes go wide. “Well, don’t do that. I wouldn’t like that at all.” I chuckled.

She looked down and rose up a fraction, so just the head was lodged inside her wet warmth. She kept watching as she slowly lowered a couple inches, then rose again, down and up, only the top two inches. Down then up. “Mmmm… I am squeezing you.”


She looked at me, while she kept moving slowly up and down only those two inches. She stopped at the top for a moment, then slowly slid down all the way to my pubic bush. I automatically pushed up and squirmed.

She kept her eyes locked with mine. “Can I ask you something?”

I held her waist. “Yeah, what?” I nudged her when she stopped squirming. She started swaying again.

“I think sometimes we… we make… um… love, and sometimes we… like you said last week we make lust together, most times we mix those two, and… and I think sometimes when we’re doing it, we… we then add fun to it.” A nervous expression covered her face. “Do… do you ever feel that? I mean, the fun part? Sort of like just a minute ago?”

My brow pinched. “Yeah, of course I do. Why? Don’t… don’t you like that?”

“Yeah, I… I like it a lot. I… I just never… I don’t know, I mean, I just never thought that… that would be part of it. Is it… has it always been part of it for you?”

I realized this beautiful petite girl had me on an emotional roller since I stopped at that damn garage sale. From smiling to pissed off to lustful and now I was feeling… well, jeezuz her eyes, that look in them, my damn heart started swelling. I spoke softly, “No, sweetheart, not with every… not with every girl. It’s… it’s…” I took a slow breath.


“It’s a… a special part of making love, I guess. It means…” I stopped speaking. I certainly wasn’t going to tell her the truth.

“It means what?”

I pulled her close and pushed my face into her hair. “It means there’s a lot more going on than… than just two bodies screwing.” I kissed the side of her head and hoped that would suffice. I felt her nod against me. I hoped she didn’t start crying. I ran my hands up and down her back, sometimes one would trace the curves of her seductive ass. She swayed but not much at all. We stayed like that for at least two minutes before she leaned back. She smiled softly. Her eyes were teary but not sad. Her face moved forward and she kissed my lips, her tongue wiggled into my mouth. She knew I preferred it the other way round, my tongue in her mouth. I tried to push hers back. She started giggling. She started squirming harder. My hand slid between her buns, two fingertips caressed her torrid, squinting hole. Her tongue retreated and mine chased it into her mouth. I wiggled the tip of my middle finger into her ass, just to the very first knuckle.

“Mmmmmh,” Lana moaned into my mouth.

Her ass started rising, her cunt tightened around the base of my cock and kept gripping as it slid up the staff. Our kiss broke. Her pussy reached the head of my prick, then she shoved down hard, grinded, then rose again. She kept that up as a fraction more of my finger screwed into her hot bottom. I scrunched down a little more in the chair. My other hand left her waist. I turned it around and placed my palm on her lower abdomen so I could use my thumb on her turgid clit.

“No… no… my waist… on my waist… I’m close… close.”

Instead of moving it to her waist, I reached around and gripped a cheek of her ass. Her up and down and squirming grew more intense. Without giving it much thought I released her bun, raised my hand away and brought it down sharply– smat!

“Oh! Yeah… yeah.”

I gave her three more taps — smat… smat… SMAT! She got even more crazy. I was on the brink. I moved my hand back to her abdomen. My thumb couldn’t have rubbed her clit more then four times, when she shoved down hard and started convulsing on my lap. Her fingernails dug into my shoulder muscles. I moved my hand to her ass.

She screamed, “Oh god! Oh GOD!” She arched her back and leaned forward. I think she was rubbing her firm, big clit on my pubic bone.

I wasn’t paying attention to that though, I was concentrating on the magic her tight cunt was doing around my throbbing cock. “Lana… ah, jeezuz… ah… ah fu-UUUK!” I yanked my finger out of her butt and both my hands gripped her luscious buns. It was now me holding on for dear life as I strained upward with my cock and pumped gob after gob of hot spunk deep into her perfect pussy.

I wanted to stay inside Lana forever.

* * *She didn’t look happy but to be honest, I didn’t really give a shit. She stood at the rear of the tub staring at me. I finished washing my legs and feet, then turned around to rinse off. I faced her again. “So? You just gonna stand there, or are you going to get on your knees and start sucking?”

She looked me in the eyes. I’m not sure but hers may have been tearing a little. She knelt down and wrapped her little hand around the base of my prick. She engulfed the head, her tongue laving it, then she started bobbing.

I gripped a handful of her now damp hair. I started pushing and pulling my cock into her sucking mouth. My voice was a growl, “That’s it, baby, fuck it with your mouth.”

She really was a great little cocksucker. I tried to decide if I would fuck her mouth a little harder and deeper, then make her swallow it, or fuck her mouth harder and deeper, not shoot, then take her to the bed and fuck her good and hard.

My other hand gripped some hair. I pulled her head towards me as I pushed forward with my throbbing prick. “Yeah, that’s it, fuck it with your mouth.” I heard her gag a little. I really didn’t give a shit.

* * *”No, honey, it’ll be a guard, but… really, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about it. I mean… you’re not a prisoner. They know you could make a complaint on them.”

I’m sure she knew that would cause her hell if I did complain. I imagined some rough, gay fuckin’ guard would point that out to me too. “Yeah… ahhh… sure… I mean, it’s no problem.” My mind was reeling and I was so nervous about all of it, including Lana, I didn’t even wonder about Barb getting cavity searches, and if there were lesbian guards doing the fingering so I didn’t think about her saying — You’re not a prisoner, and the implications of that regarding her. “So… ahh… next Sunday.”

“Uh-huh. That’s… all right with you, isn’t it?” Barb looked scared again. “You… you still really… do want to make love with me, don’t you?”

I took a breath. “Yeah, of cour…” I forced a small smile to my mouth. “Yes, I want to make love with you next Sunday. I want to make love with you… every day.” I can’t describe what my gut felt like at that moment, even though I guess it was the truth. I guess I would want to make love to her everyday. I’d also want to make love with Lana everyday. I forced my smile to grow.

She started to smile as her face scrinched and more tears ran down her face. She giggled and softly sobbed simultaneously. Her voice was strained. “I love you so much.” She giggled-sobbed again, then added, “You’re so cute sometimes.”

I felt the fucking complications of my life double. I felt the weight of my guilt and self-hatred skyrocket. My mind was in overdrive, thinking about Lana, Barb, how I had fucked up everything so badly, how weak, stupid, and foolish I was. I don’t know how, but my small smile stayed in place and I said, “And you’re beautiful all the time.” As soon as that passed my lips, it was the lowest I had ever felt in my entire life.

“I guess we should tell Lana now. She’ll…” Barb smiled and wiped her eyes with the napkin. “She’ll probably be happy she won’t have to come next week. She can have a Sunday with her friends.”

“Yeah… yeah, I guess we should… ahh… tell her.”

Barb squeezed my hand as she looked towards the vending machines. I didn’t want to think about Lana’s reaction to the news. I watched Barb smile, really more of a grin, as she waved to her daughter. Again I found it difficult to breathe for a few moments. My gut couldn’t have been more knotted. Barb pulled her hand from mine so she could blow her nose. Before Lana reached the table, her hand was clutching mine again.

Lana sat down. She put three candy bars in the center of the table.

Barb did the talking. She told Lana she had been granted the privilege of having some “private time” with me next Sunday, so even though she really wanted to see Lana too, it wouldn’t be much fun for her waiting around for over an hour all by herself. Barb told her she should make some plans with friends, then said she’d miss her very much, and hoped with all her heart she’d keep coming every week after that. She said she’d not be able to have private time with me all that often, months in between. Barb said that only bad thing about it, would be not seeing her.

At first Lana’s brow pinched, then her face went slack when she understood what “private time” meant. Her jaw clenched for a moment, then she just said, “Okay.” She sipped her soda as she looked at the barred high windows in the cafeteria/visiting room. She didn’t say much for the remaining twenty minutes of the visitation. No one ate the candy bars.

I tried my best to fill in the conversational gaps even though my mind was still reeling and my gut so tight it actually ached. I didn’t want Barb to notice the change in Lana. I felt like a bigger and bigger shithead as the minutes passed. When it was finally time to leave, I was glad to see that when Lana hugged Barb, she at least put her arms loosely around her mother, but not like the squeezing hugs over the past few months.

When I kissed and hugged Barb, she whispered, “I’m really looking forward to next weekend, sweetie.”

She hadn’t called me ‘sweetie’ in a very long time. “Yeah… yeah, me too, Barb.”

Lana and I were both mute as we headed out of the prison. In the parking lot I unlocked and opened her door first, then closed it for her when she climbed in. I walked around the truck. She didn’t lean over to open my door as she had started to do a few months ago. I unlocked it and got in. Her arms were folded over her chest, her jaw was tight. She was blankly staring out the windshield.

“So… you’re going to FUCK her next week! You knew about it! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I didn’t know about it.”

“That’s a lie! You knew! You’d have to know!”

“I didn’t know!” I told myself to cool down. “Barb… Barb never mentioned it and… I never asked.

“No, you didn’t ask because…. because you were getting your fun with me! You… you were using me! You… you don’t care about me at all! And… and now you’re going to be back fucking HER!”

“I do care about you. You have to know I care about you. Jeezuz, Lana, I-I told you I wasn’t going to leave Barb, what… what the hell can I do about the visits, these conjugal visits? She wants them. I am her husband. I told you that. I told you I wasn’t going to divorce her. You knew th…”

She interrupted, “Yeah, but… but you didn’t tell me you’d be fucking her! You didn’t mention that very often when… when you were fucking… FUCKING ME! I never would have let you fuck me if I knew you were going to go back to fucking HER!”

My jaw clenched. She seemed to have forgotten it had been her making the first move, her teasing me, her propositioning me like a cheap whore, so she could fuck me. I told myself again to keep my head. “Lana…” I wasn’t sure what to say. I took a slow breath and kept my voice soft, “I care about you. I don’t want to hurt you, but I did tell you that I wasn’t going to divorce Barb. I didn’t know about this conjugal visit thing until today, until after Barb asked to talk to me alone. That’s the truth.” I looked at her. Her arms seemed tighter across her chest. She was staring out the side window.

“Maybe… maybe I should fuck someone else too next Sunday. How would you like that, huh?!”

I was surprised that hadn’t crossed my mind. “I… I wouldn’t like it.”

“Well… I don’t like you fucking her! So…. So tell her you can’t do it!”

I exhaled slowly. My voice was soft and low, “Lana… I can’t do that. You know I can’t.”

“Then… then-then you’re never going to fuck me again! I-I-I’m not ever going to let you touch me again! Never!”

“Lana… come on. Let’s… let’s not… not get pissed at each other. I… I don’t want this to hurt you, and I…”

“I’m not hurt! I’m not hurt at all! And… and there isn’t anything to talk about. You’re going to fuck her. So… so SHUT UP and-and-and leave me alone! I-I don’t wanna talk to you anymore!”

I leaned towards her and cupped her upper arm. “Lana, listen…”

She jerked her arm away from my grasp and verbally cut me off, “I don’t wanna listen! I jus’… Just take me home! I wanna go HOME!”

I sat straight and gazed at the prison as I started the engine. I guess I knew everything was going blow up in my face all along. I guess I just didn’t expect it to be so soon. I twisted to look out the rear window as I slowly pulled out of the parking slot.

*My anxiety was growing with every heartbeat. “Barb? Are you nervous?”

She held me tighter and snuggled her body against mine. “I don’t know, maybe a little. Should we… should we take our clothes off?”

I forced a chuckle out. “Yeah, I guess that’d be a good start.” We released each other. She wanted to get the show on the road, incredibly my anxiety grew even more intense.

I think she was blushing. “Don’t laugh at my underwear.”

I smiled, still in an anxiety mode. “If you don’t laugh at mine.” I watched her start on her zipper. “Wait. Let me do that.”

Barb definitely blushed. “All right.”

I unzipped the front of her jumpsuit, then nudged it off her shoulders. She was right, her bra looked institutional. I was surprised a bra could be that unappealing. Same with her “full cut” granny underpants. I told her to sit on the edge of the bed and I took off her shoes, socks, then pulled the jumpsuit down and off. She removed her bra, then I slowly pulled the panties down her still slender and toned legs. Barb giggled like a nervous school girl. I smiled looking calm but I was a thousand times more nervous than her. I put her clothes on one of the molded plastic chairs.

“Okay, now I’ll undress you.”

I watched Barb as she reciprocated. She was gorgeous, stunning really, considering everything. Her breasts were slightly smaller than before, but still looked very firm, not large, but much larger than Lana’s. She looked years younger than the day she was incarcerated. She was thinner, more toned now. No one would guess she was thirty-four, no one would say older than twenty-five. Her giggly mood started to wane when she was kneeling on the floor and I was sitting on the edge of the mattress. She saw I didn’t have an erection.

“Okay, now these.” She pulled the waistband and I raised my ass from the sheet. Her waning smile disappeared as she pulled my shorts passed my feet. She rose, turned her back to me, stepped to the chair, and for some reason slowly folded my briefs and set them on top of my other clothes on the chair next to the one with her clothes.

By the time I stood up, moved behind her and wrapped my arms around her, she was crying softly. I kissed her neck and shoulder then her head. I held her tightly to me. My limp dick pressed against her right bun.

“Y-You don’t… think I’m… a-attractive… anymore.”

“Barb, that’s not true.” I felt her tremble as she tried to cry silently. “Barb, stop that. You’re beautiful, hot… sexy. Prettier than the night I first saw you.”

“Then… why… w-why… why aren’t you excited?”

I could easily tell her all the reasons why, the least of which was being locked up in a jiz smeared concrete room within a prison. “Let’s lie on the bed, okay?”

She sniffled. “Do you have any… tissues?”

“Yeah, I’ve got something. Go ahead and lie down.” I glanced at the roll of cheap toilet paper next to the metal toilet as I picked up my jeans and got the handkerchief from the back pocket. It was clean and large. I made sure I had two clean, large ones on every visitation day, even though most of the time Barb used napkins. When I turned around I was somewhat surprised Barb had crawled under the top sheet. I handed her the handkerchief and slid under the sheet. She held onto it when I moved closer and put my arm around her shoulders. She put her head on my shoulder.

I sense her about to start crying. I wasn’t wrong.

“Is… is there some other woman?”

No. There’s no other woman, there’s… just you, Barbara.” I rarely called her by her full name. I usually saved that for when I was trying to be romantic. “I love you. I… I think you know I love you. Jeezuz… I’m here every week. I only missed once in the past year and that was to go to Lana’s graduation. You’re my wife. I love you.” I was trying my best to believe everything I said was actually true. At that moment, I wished it all was true.

There was a couple minutes of silence. I was about to tell her I was going to lick her to orgasm when she spoke. I knew she was on the verge of crying yet again.

“Aren’t you attracted to me anymore? I… Don’t you like the way I loo…”

I broke in, “I just said a few minutes ago that you’re beautiful.” I took a slow breath. “Barb, I’m so damn sorry and embarrassed. But… come on, cut me a little slack. It’s… it’s been a year. I’m sober. There’s a time clock running on this. I’m nervous as hell about it, about it being good for you, for… both of us. It’s like… like it’s my first time all over again. Aren’t you nervous?”

“I… I was nervous about… about you being nervous and about… about you not liking me… that way… anymore.”

I hugged her to me. “Jeezuz, Barb. You were beautiful and hot before, and you still are. Of course I like you… want you that way. God… you’ve lost weight and toned up more, hell… you look healthier than ever, and younger… jeezuz, you look like a teenager.” My gut knotted. She didn’t quite look like a teenager, but as I thought when she first was naked, no one would have guessed older than twenty-five. For some reason I vividly recalled the small framed photo of her in Lana’s linen closet. Barb, Lana, and Gramma.

Barb started crying again. Her voice was high pitched and whiny, just like Lana when she cried, “I… I wanted this to be… be special, because… I waited, because… because I thought you might… that you’d find someone else, and… an’ I… I didn’t want to… to stop you because… because it’s… it’s so l-long t-to wait for m-me. But… but I don’t wanna l-lose you either. I wan’… w-wan’ you stay with m-me… stay for me… me and Lana. I don’… don’t know wha’… wha’ I’d do w-without y-you. B-but I… don’ wanna m-make your l-life… aw-awf-ful either. Y-you’re… it’s… l-like… I’m putting y-you in p-prison t-too. I’m… s-s-so s-sorry. I’m s-so sorry.” Barb began crying harder, then some sobbing.

I held her closer. When she settled down some, I spoke softly, “Barb we went over all that last Sunday. I love you, there is no other woman, I don’t… I’m doing this… I mean, I come here every week because I love you, because you’re my wife, because I can’t wait for you to be released. But, this today… I… I-I just feel really pressured. I’m the one who should be sorry. I am sorry. This… my lack of an erection, has nothing to do with you, how you look, or how much I love you and know you love me. I… I feel like a goddamn failure most of the time and now I can’t even get a goddamn hard-on with the woman I love. I’m sorry. I’m very sorry, sweetheart.”

I felt like scum, no, lower than that. I was lying to her constantly now, yet, I did love her, I knew I loved her. Maybe my love had never been good enough or strong enough. Maybe it had always been missing some essential element and I’ve never been able to figure out what that element is. How could I love Barb, and be fucking her daughter at the same time? How could I love Lana, yet still love Barb? I knew if I wasn’t so goddamn nervous, no, not nervous. I know if I wasn’t feeling so fucking guilty and anxious about cheating on Barb, and fucking up Lana’s life, and cheating on Lana now too, I wouldn’t have any problem, even being sober and locked up in a cinder block room, getting a goddamn erection right now.

Why the hell do either of these chicks want to have anything to do with me?! What the fuck do they see in me? I’m nothing but selfish prick, a drunk, a self-centered asshole. If Barb had met some other guy instead of me, I bet she could have kicked the booze, could have gotten sober. Whenever we’ve quit together, I was always the one pulling her down again– C’mon, just one drink, baby. I don’ wanna drink alone, jus’ a li’l one– either that or coming home pissed off and wasted, then Barb saying hell with it too. She would never have killed that kid if she hadn’t met me. She’d never have been in this prison. She never would have been in this goddamn ‘fucking room.’ All of this shit was my fault. ALL OF IT!

I held Barb closer. She was still crying a little, and sniffling a lot. “I’ve got another handkerchief in my jeans. Want it?”

“Yes, please. And… an’ then… will you just keep holding me?”

That’s what I did. I was going to say I wanted to lick her pussy, but I knew that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted me hard, she wanted to make love or at least screw a guy with a full, hard, erection. That was the only thing on her list. Holding her was all I was capable of doing in that small, awful room.

Near the end of our 50 minute conjugal period, before the timer went off, we got dressed. I helped Barb strip the bed. We even folded the sheets. Before I could help her with spraying the cleaner/disinfectant and wiping everything down, two guards opened the door. The female bitch watched Barb clean, and the same fuckin’ prick who had escorted me in, walked me down the hall. Another guard escorted me back to the main building. I went through another check-in and waited for Barb in the cafeteria.

When Barb finally arrived, we had a little over a half hour left to visitation. I think Barb interpreted my quietness and not meeting her eyes very often as embarrassment, not guilt, remorse, and feeling worse than scum. Whenever I did look into her pretty blue eyes I saw both love and something like fear in them. I didn’t look into them very long. I knew if I did, I’d either spill my guts about me and Lana, or just start bawling like a fuckin’ little kid.

About every five minutes when the conversation would dry up I’d say, “Barb, I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.”

She’d say something like, “Honey, don’t worry about it. I… I know you… we both were under a lot of pressure.” She had taken my invented excuse as fact and adopted it too.

She didn’t know that most if not all of my repeated apology was for fucking her daughter, shitting on my marriage vows, cheating on her, and not because I couldn’t get it up. I was scared to death I’d not be able to get hard for the next conjugal visit.

“Barb, I’ll… I’ll do better next time. When will that be? You said the wait is a couple months?”

“Uh-huh. Two to three months.”

“Will you put us on the list?”

She smiled sadly and nodded. “Uh-huh.”

I looked into her eyes a little too long. I started to lose it. Mine welled up and my throat tightened. My voice cracked as I said, “Barbara, I… I love you. I really d-do. You truly are beautiful and a g-good woman. I’m glad you’re m-my wife. I’m so damn lucky that… that you married me. I love you, sweetheart. Please believe that. And… and I’m so damn sorry about the room today.” Among all the other crap I was feeling, I added ‘wimp’ to the list.

She smiled with trembling lips as her face scrinched and her eyes welled even more than mine, so much so that tears ran down each cheek of her pretty face.

I put my arm around her shoulders and kissed her head.

Her voice was squeaky, “I… I love you so much.”

When the visitation period was over, I warmly kissed Barb and hugged her close. She held me very tightly. Before I had a chance to say my normal line at the end, she said a variation of it to me, “Don’t worry, honey, I really have a feeling everything’s going to get better for you, me, Lana, all of us very soon. I really feel that.”

Of course, I couldn’t see how that was possible. I gave her head a quick kiss. “I think so too, sweetheart.”

“Tell Lana I love her, and that I missed her very much today.”

My guilt expanded again. “Yeah. Yeah, I will.”

“I better go now.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll see ya next week, Barbara.”

I pulled my arms from around her and smiled. She was teary eyed again but put a brave smile on her face. She started towards the door where she’d be searched, halfway there she turned her head around and saw me watching her. It made her smile, a real smile. She gave me a cupped hand little wave, which was very cute and reminded me of the few times Lana had done the same thing. She turned and I watched her until she disappear into the other room.

I wanted to run after her, grab her and kiss her passionately, tell her again I really did love her, tell her I’d be the best damn husband ever, tell her I’d never even look at another woman again. I really wanted all of that to be true, wanted it with all my heart and soul. I also hoped with all my heart that Lana wouldn’t have anything to do with me again. And if she wanted to start it again. I’d refuse. I loved Barb. I wanted to be a good husband to her. I wanted to be with my wife, with Barbara.

I stood there staring at the now closed steel door. I was on the verge crying again. I was the last free person to leave the cafeteria.

As I started driving home, I couldn’t have felt like a bigger fucking asshole or a worse excuse for a man, nor could I have hated and despised myself more. As I drove through the now beige and brown harvested cornfields, I wondered how two pretty women, well, at least one woman and one teenage girl, how in hell could they both love me? I was a cheating husband to one, and a cheating boyfriend to the other. I was a drunk, and a mean son-of-a-bitch sometimes. I was a guy who was always a few words away from losing his goddamn job. Not only could I not keep my marriage vows, I couldn’t even get my ass to work on time consistently, no matter how many times I promised Jim I would.

Did I truly love Barb? My eyes welled up so much at posing that question to myself again, I had to wipe them to see. Yeah, most of the time I did think I loved her. Then again, did I even know what the hell love was? If I really loved her would I have fucked her daughter? If I really loved her wouldn’t I have been able to quit drinking? Before I met her, for years before I met her, I really thought when I found the right chick, really loved her, got married, I would be able to quit. What the hell happened to that? Yes, I loved her. I loved her as much as an asshole like me could love someone. What the hell did that mean though?

I loved her but it was all right to cheat on her? I loved her but it was all right to lie to her every time I saw her? Not only lie but put on the whole charade, the street theater of me and Lana just being friends now? That we were just getting along better now, nothing more than that? Barb wasn’t stupid, sooner or later she was going to see there was something more there. I was trying to save more money to help Lana go away to college, but the bills were still eating up most of my paycheck, a good chunk of that was still paying the goddamn lawyer and the fucking community college bills.

Was I hoping that was the answer to all this shit I had gotten myself into? That Lana would go away to school and find some other guy? Did I love her too? Did she dump me this past week but neglected to actually say the words to me? She did say she didn’t want to fuck me, but was that just in anger? Why did I feel even more like I was cheating when I was with Barb in the fuck room today, than when I was with Lana screwing her at home? How ass backwards was that?

What the hell did I feel for Lana? How could I love two women at the same time? How is that even possible? It had always been nearly impossible to find one to love, in fact, until Barb, I probably never loved any chick, at least not until they dumped me, then I loved them or thought I did. They’d finally get fed up with my drinking, with me being an asshole, then when it was too late, I’d vow to clean up my act and would beg them to give me another chance. It had always been too late then.

I had always thought that it was bullshit stereotyping that chicks would constantly change their minds. Maybe they took longer to make up their minds about something, but once they did, that decision was set in concrete. It was guys who changed their minds more. Or, maybe it was just me who couldn’t stick to any decision, not even my marriage vows.

The only thing I knew for sure was that I needed a drink, more than one drink.

I kept mulling it over, spinning my mental wheels as the miles slipped by under the truck. Finally I slowed to angle onto the exit ramp that led to home or to Sully’s. At the end of the ramp I stopped for the red traffic light. When it switched to green I turned right not left. I guess the ramp led to Sully’s. Five minutes later I pulled into the parking lot, got out of truck and went inside.

There was some football game on the big TV, most everyone was at the tables watching it. The bar was nearly empty, just a couple of real drunks, like me. Greg wasn’t working. I couldn’t recall the name of the guy who was. I said hello and ordered a draft, finished that off pretty quickly, then order another. Took a sip, said hell with it to myself, and called the guy over again and ordered a double bourbon rocks. I figured I’d drink both slowly. It was my usual lie to myself. I surprised myself though, I actually started out drinking that bourbon pretty slow, little sips.

I thought about the situation again. I guess it was less the situation and more about Barb and Lana. Actually it was probably both. Even though it wasn’t the same, I had a similar sensation inside me like all the times before Barb was in the slam, when both Barb and Lana were pissed off at me. I had hurt both of them this week. Why couldn’t I make anyone happy? Yet, why did they both say they loved me? Well, Lana hadn’t actually said it, but I thought she felt it. She would have said it if I had let her.

Why did they love me? Were they both just scared of being alone? Don’t they realize, even Barb when she gets out and if she can stay sober, that both her and Lana can get almost any guy they wanted, a guy not like me, not a drunk, not a self-centered prick?

And how in hell can I feel and believe I love them both, yet I’m cheating on Barb and if I can get it up, I’ll soon be cheating on Lana. How can I love them both? Is it that I don’t know what the hell love really is? What the hell is love anyway? Does anyone really know what it is? You love a person if you’d give up your life for them? Soldiers do that for guys they don’t even know. Would I give up my life for Barb? For Lana? I shook my head. It was a silly assed question. Okay, yeah… if I saw a bus coming at either one of them, I’d push them out of the way knowing I’d get smacked and killed. But… was that because I loved them, or because I knew if I didn’t, I’d never be able to live with the guilt of not doing it?

For a moment I wondered if anyone else ever had thoughts like I was having.

An image of Lana appeared in my mind. I wondered if it was over with her. She was really angry about me seeing Barb today. I wondered if I should tell her I didn’t screw Barb, then she’d probably ask why, and what would I tell her? The truth? That I couldn’t get it up mainly because I felt guilty about fucking her, fucking Lana? That I was feeling guilty about every goddamn thing? What if Lana comes back to me, and then in a couple months or whenever Barb can get another conjugal visit, will Lana and I go through this whole fucking thing again? What if we go through it all a second time, and I still can’t get it up with Barb? What the hell was the title of that play by Sartre? No Exit? Was that it? Our lives would become a repetitive hell?

I had to figure out what to say and do. I kept thinking and mulling and ordering double bourbons. Barb and Lana. Lana and Barb. I loved both of them as well as I could love. Was that the real truth? Was it also true that Lana had dumped me? That it was over between us because I had gone to fuck my wife and even if I couldn’t get it up it was still over between Lana and me? Was I spinning mental wheels for no reason? Maybe she had made my decision about what to do plain and simple, because her decision was already set in concrete.

But, I didn’t want it to end with Lana, did I? She hadn’t really dumped me, had she? Saying she would never let me touch her again was just anger speaking, wasn’t it? But, didn’t I more or less promise myself as I drove away from the prison, that I was going to cut it off with Lana no matter what and really become a good husband, maybe even a good man? What if I actually loved Lana more than Barb? What if Lana and I are the ‘true love’ in all of this?

I suddenly felt I had to pick one of them, then a moment later asked myself why I had to do that. I couldn’t give myself a good answer. Maybe the first thing to do was to find out if Lana had really dumped me. Maybe I should have gone straight home and asked her that before stopping here. Yeah, that would have been the smart thing to do, but I probably would have needed a bit of liquid courage to do that anyway.

I looked at the old fashion electric bar clock on the bottle shelf behind the bar. It had a red neon tube around its circumference. I couldn’t believe it was 9:20PM. I had been sitting at the fuckin’ bar for hours. I figured it was time to face the fuckin’ music. I finished off the remnants of my beer, then the last drops of my fourth or was it my fifth, bourbon rocks. I glanced at bartender as I placed a few bucks on the bar but he didn’t see me. I put my empty glass on the bills. I took a slow deep breath then slid off the stool. I felt dizzy for a moment. I wasn’t looking forward to facing Lana. I walked outside and got into the truck.

Thoughts of Barb, how much I loved her, how I was her husband and had made vows to her the day we married, all of those thoughts were waning. Lana started filling my mind more and more. I had gotten angry when she had gotten mad about me going to Barb today. What did she expect would happen if conjugal visits were possible? Should I have mentioned the possibility to her? Hell, it shocked me almost as much as it had her when Barb mentioned it last week. Maybe Lana hadn’t known it was possible? Hell, I wasn’t even sure it was possible.

I wanted to be with Lana. I didn’t want to give that up, give her up. I wanted us to continue making love, and continue fucking too. I wanted us to go back to sleeping together. I wasn’t able to sleep much without her this past week. I did feel I loved her. And I felt I loved Barb too. But… how can you love two women at the same time? If that isn’t impossible, it should be. Am I lying to one of them? If I am, which one is it? Or am I really lying to myself? Today, Barb crying, me holding her, I truly loved her. I knew I loved her because I felt so awful, so fuckin’ guilty. I couldn’t have hated myself more while I held her. My life had been a chain of fuckups. Fuckups that not only screwed me, but hurt people who I supposedly cared about, who I supposedly loved.

I did love Lana. I did want to be with her. What the hell was I going to do with Barb in prison for at least a couple more years? Was it really that bad to want to sleep with and screw Lana, even if she was Barb’s daughter? Had Lana dumped me? Are things going to be like they were before that night she hooked me, like the way things have been this past week? I didn’t want it to be like that.

I hurt Barb today because I couldn’t get it up, but next time I would. Jeezuz, I must have been really fuckin’ mental today, she looked incredibly hot. What was wrong with loving two women? What was wrong with screwing two women if you loved them both? Why was everything always my responsibility? What was wrong with fucking both of them if they both wanted to fuck me? Did Lana still want to screw me? Want to sleep with me? I wanted her. I wanted her a lot.

I came to a stoplight at the grocery store strip mall. Without much thought, I made the right turn into the lot and parked. I would buy Lana some flowers not just as a peace offering, but because I love her, and then I’d try to talk to her, even if I had to sit on the floor in the hallway and talk to her through the door like that other time. I needed her. I wanted her back. I wanted her with me, in my bed, in my arms. Maybe I really did love her, maybe I really loved both of them. Maybe it really was possible to truly love two women at the same time and have no one get hurt.

I walked into the store and then into its little flower shop. There wasn’t much of a selection late on a Sunday night. I decided to get a bunch of miniature roses for her because they looked the freshest. I liked the miniature aspect, but not the flowers. I paid for them and quickly walked outside to the truck. I really hated roses, they smelled like all the fuckin’ wakes my parents dragged me to as a kid. Since then roses have always smelled like fuckin’ death to me. What is that called? A memento mori? Can an odor be that?

I got in the truck and continued driving to the house, never breaching the speed limit and glancing side to side ahead looking for fuckin’ drunk motherfucking sixteen year old shitheads riding bikes. As I turned into the driveway, I saw an unknown car almost too late. I had to brake hard or I would have rammed the back of it. It was black, one of those sporty looking, newer, cheap, compact cars that supposedly got good mileage. It was undoubtedly one of Lana’s stupid girlfriends. Maybe Lana was breaking her promise and spilling the whole fucking story to her. I pulled back then over to the side of it, parking half on the grass so the stupid bitch could drive out later.

I headed to the front door, holding the flowers, trying to decide if giving them to Lana in front of a friend or two would be really stupid. I had hurt her. I didn’t want her pissed at me. I had hurt Barb too. I had to talk to Lana about everything again. I’d figure everything out when we talked. Just like that other time. I did love her. I really did.

I shook my head as I reached for the handle of the front door. I couldn’t believe I failed to get it up with Barb. She actually looked the best she ever had. She had lost weight, toned up, her face had even looked younger, at least it had until she had started crying. She had virtually looked like that eighteen year old girl in the photo in Lana’s linen closet. Both Barb and Lana were beautiful. As I pushed the door open, I found myself thinking there must be a ‘younger looking’ gene, because both Barb and Lana had it.

I stepped inside the little foyer and quietly closed the entry door behind me. I was surprised I didn’t hear music or the TV on. I thought that was odd as I took my jacket off and hung it on knob of the entry closet door. For some reason, I just stood there and listened. I did hear something. Noises. Human noises.

I moved to the hallway and looked towards Lana’s room. That’s where the sounds were coming from. I could see some soft light spilling into the darkened hall from her open doorway. My jaw was already clenched as my gut did likewise. Yeah, human sounds but it wasn’t talking. My hand tightened around the stems of the roses, my other balled into a fist.

I quietly walked down the hall. I stepped to her open door and looked inside her room. I saw them on the bed. A dark haired guy was on top of Lana, more like over Lana, her hands were holding the back of his neck. I saw the glint of a couple face piercings on him. The guy was taller than me, thin but obviously somewhat muscular and in shape. He was almost in a pushup exercise position over her, not exercising, but thrusting his fucking prick into her cunt. Lana’s thighs were spread, her legs partly folded so her knees were up and the soles of her little feet were flat on the sheet. Her hips pushed up to meet each of the motherfucker’s thrusts.

I didn’t get angry, it was something beyond that. Something primeval snapped within me and I wanted to beat him bloody, beat him to death, kill the filthy son-of-a-bitch who was fucking MY WOMAN. My hand released the roses and they fell to the hallway floor. I rushed headlong into the room going straight for the son-of-a-bitch on the bed. I guess he saw me enter, because he yanked his fuckin’ dick out of Lana’s cunt and looked me in the eyes, his own were probably larger than normal. His mouth was open, maybe to breathe faster and deeper, breathless from fucking the little bitch on the bed.

Lana started screaming something at me as my right fist hit him in the mouth. I cut my knuckles and got pissed at myself for forgetting not to punch teeth. Even in my enraged state, I knew I should be tossing my fists at the motherfucker’s nose, jaw, eyes, and especially the throat. I threw two more punches as he rolled trying to protect himself, and get up at least to his knees. One connected with his cheekbone, the next hit his shoulder when he turned. I tried to grab his long hair but he quickly jerked his head back. He was able to get into a crouch.

Lana shouted, “Get out! Leave us alone! GET OUT!” She pulled her legs up and moved towards the headboard. “GET OUT OF HERE!”

I had to lean over the bed as I tried to grab the fucker’s throat with my left hand while my right arm cocked back to throw another punch. I gripped his neck. He used both his arms to bat and push my arm with the hand choking him away. I landed a punch above his left eye. His head snapped back and his shoulders traveled the short distance over the gap between the bed and the wall. I put my knee on the mattress to reach him. He thrust his foot at me which rammed into my abdomen, just below my solar plexus. It took the wind out of me as my fist missed him completely.

He bounded off the bed and grabbed his leather jacket, jeans, and boots. I sucked breaths as I lunged at him. I grabbed him, shoved him hard against the wall, then swung at him as he pushed himself off the wall. My knuckles smacked his head just above and to the back of his ear. It made his head jerk to his far shoulder. He stumbled, then turned towards me as I was rearing back with my arm. He shoved me back towards the bed, then leaped for the doorway, still holding the clothes he had picked up. I kicked his shin. He stumbled and fell to the floor, his knee taking all his weight. I thought I heard something pop but I wasn’t sure. He dropped his clothes and grab his knee. I was about to jump on him, knowing I could kick him in the balls and then stomp him, kick the living fucking shit out of him, but Lana must have stood up on the bed, because it seemed when she jumped on me, she was coming from above. Her slender arms wrapped around my throat, her legs around my waist.

She screamed, “You fucking asshole! Stop it! It’s all YOUR fault he’s here! You went and fucked her! Why shou…”

She continued shouting but I wasn’t listening. She was really choking me with her arms. I tried to pull them off but couldn’t. If I had any clarity of thought before that moment, it vanished. I became insane, crazed, a rabid animal. I think I rasped out, “You fuckin’ goddamn bitch.” I saw the motherfucker crawl into the hallway.

I kept trying to pull Lana’s arms off and failing. I turned and twisted and made my way to an open area of wall. I turned my back to it, then lunged backwards, smashing Lana’s back and head against the wall. I kept pushing back as I tried to yank her arms off my neck.

Lana was now sobbing and screaming, “You’re hurting me! Stop it! Stop it! I don’ care about him! I hate you! You fucked her today! OW! You’re hurting me! STOP IT!”

I took one step farther away from the wall, then virtually jumped backwards as hard as I could, ramming her little body against the wall. I heard a loud thud, then some picture frame crashed to the floor, sounds of broken glass. Lana’s arms loosened. I peeled them off and stepped away from the wall. I heard her head hit the wall again as she fell backwards. I frantically turned and twisted and finally started getting her legs loosened from around my waist. One of her hands grabbed my shirt at my shoulder, the other started slapping the back of my head. She was still shouting words. I pulled my arm away, then my elbow punched backwards as hard as I could.

“URGH!” Lana yelped, her legs dropped from around my waist. She fell to the floor. I jumped towards the door and ran down the hall. I saw the pierced face prick, now in his black jeans, pulling on a black engineer boot in the kitchen. He was wearing both of them now. He was leaning against the table. Maybe his knee was injured. His chest was still naked. His nose and mouth were bleeding, maybe from that dumb first punch.

He shouted at me. “Fuck it, dude! I don’t give a shit about her! She called me! She wanted to fuck! It was all her fuckin’ idea! Jus’ let me fuckin’ leave!”

I heard him but didn’t listen to a word. He backed up against the kitchen counter. I charged at him. He moved quickly, my fist landed on his shoulder. I wasn’t really thinking at all. My only goal in life was to beat him to death. That’s all that mattered to me. It was my meaning for existence.

He tried to kick me in the balls but hit my thigh. I landed a punch to his solar plexus that almost doubled him over, then another to his ear which jerked his head to the side, but when I tried to grab his trachea and close my hand like a vise to rip his throat open, he brought a knee up and did at least partially connect with my testicles. I let go of him. We were both bent over then, each of us trying to suck air in. He shuffled away from me, sliding his fucking ass along the edge of the countertop, he stopped shy of the refrigerator. He straightened up, almost fully, his hands went behind him flat on the countertop, propping him up, as he kept trying to get his wind back.

I swallowed a couple times. I started to straighten up too, still trying to suck air deep to get the pain out of my groin. I spoke between gasps of air. “I gonna fuckin’… rip your fuckin’ head off… you motherfuckin’… prick. I’m gonna… fuckin’ kill you!” In my peripheral vision, I saw movement. Lana must have caught her breath and run in from her bedroom. She was still naked.

She stood at the entryway of the kitchen. She started shouting, “Stop it! Both of you STOP IT! Don’t fight! STOP IT!” She looked at the son-of-a-bitch. “Richie! Just leave! Just get out of here!”

I gulped more air. I was blocking his exit by way of the mud room, and the front door was too far for him to get to fast unless he was faking the injured knee. I’d be able to grab him no matter which exit he picked. I think he knew that. I growled at him, “I’m fuckin’ gonna kill you, motherfucker.”

Once more I charged the son-of-a-bitch, my left hand an open claw for his throat, my right in a fist cocked back. I saw his right arm start to move from behind his back. I knew he’d not be able to get a fist very high before I connected with one of my hands. My abs tensed to receive a stomach punch.

I’m pretty sure Lana released an extremely high pitched scream before it felt like my lower left chest had been rammed with the top end of a baseball bat. It stopped me dead in my tracks. Again the wind was knocked out of me. Maybe he pushed me back a little with it. It hurt like hell, excruciating pain really, maybe he broke one of my fuckin’ ribs. I looked down and saw it, the large kitchen knife, the one with the nine inch blade, the one I used for virtually everything. I always kept it sharpened.

The side of the blade was angled about 45 degrees, only a couple inches of steel showing, the rest buried inside me. The fucker’s hand was still on the wooden handle. For a moment I wondered if he was going to pull it out so we could keep fighting, then all my strength seemed to evaporate. The room became pin drop quiet for two seconds, then Lana shrieked even louder and higher pitched. The noise was grating, irritating to me.

Everything began moving in slow motion. I saw the son-of-a-bitch’s hand let go of the knife, then his knee coming up again. I think I tried to lean back, maybe I was already falling back, maybe I had started crumpling straight down. I’m not sure which. His knee connected, missed my balls but hit my pubic bone with force. I then was definitely falling backwards, still in slow motion. I didn’t have the strength or the wits to throw my arms out to the sides or twist a little to break the fall. My back then my head hit the tile floor hard. I think my head bounced. It disoriented my alcohol clouded brain for a few seconds.

I then heard Lana screaming words again. “You stupid FUCKING ASSHOLE! Why did you DO that?! You stupid ass!”

I think she started slapping the motherfucker. I heard smacking sounds.

“Fuck you, bitch! He was gonna kill me! I’m gettin’ the fuck out’a here! You crazy fuckin’ bitch!”

I didn’t want the bastard to leave. I did want to kill him. Then I thought I was going to vomit, but it was a cough. My mouth filled with blood. I turned my head to the side and coughed again, expelling it onto the floor. I thought I was drowning for a moment. I started taking faster breaths. I don’t know why or how, maybe my adrenaline switched gears or something, but I suddenly felt nearly sober. My mind started racing, trying to figure out what had just happened, why it had happened, whipping through more and more thoughts and memories, like I was going through a filing cabinet searching for something extremely important. Lana’s shitkickers on the truck dash? I heard an odd gurgling sound in the background.

A moment later, Lana dropped to her knees beside me, naked, her face contorted, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her hands were hovering over my chest. They were shaking. So was her body. Her mouth was open like she was screaming but I only heard a whimpering sound. Her lower lip curved inward over her teeth, like you see little kids do when they’re getting ready to start bawling really loud and hard. I wanted to say something to calm her down but I couldn’t think of a thing to say. I tried to raise my hand to hold one of her trembling hands, but I didn’t have the strength.

For some reason, I thought of that Saturday, just a couple months ago, maybe early August, when I had finally taken Lana to that Thai restaurant in the city, for lunch, not dinner. A few days before, I had given her a dress, similar to the one she wore to her high school graduation, except it was pastel blue, and along with that, I gave her a pair of thin strapped, medium brown, leather sandals. I asked her to wear the things on our date. She did. At the time I had been sober for twelve days.

She looked so beautiful that day. She even took out the ring from her eyebrow piercing. The lunch was very nice, pleasant, we talked nearly non-stop. That dry period was when I started truly understanding she knew things, like current events, cultural history, that sort of thing. She was intelligent and bright. I fell in love with her that day, or something like love, maybe it was only that day, maybe only until I had my next drink a few days later. But that day, beginning at the restaurant, then when we walked hand in hand along the lakefront, I was madly in love with her, yet… the day had eventually been stained with sadness and guilt for me.

On that walk, I remembered another Saturday, during another dry period for both me and Barb, six or so months into our marriage. It was our nineteenth sober day. I had recalled saying to Barb, “We’re going to make it this time.”

Barb had gripped my hand tighter and said, “I hope you’re right. I really want you to be right.”

Barbara had been incredibly beautiful that day too, and on our slow stroll along the lakefront it really did seem to me that everything was possible. I realized that day that I truly did love her. The booze just always got in the way, although I knew it was more than the drinking. Sometimes it was just me getting in the way of that love. Holding her hand I turned off the concrete sidewalk onto the grass and headed into the trees where we sat on a shaded bench. I told her what I had realized, I mean the part about truly loving her. She said she truly loved me too. We talked about what we really wanted in our lives, in our life together, in our marriage, what we felt were the most important things. Neither of us mentioned stuff like ‘a lot of money’ or ‘fancy cars.’

June 2018
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