Before you read this and possibly take offense, please keep in mind that this is meant to be funny. So chill out!

A lot of people have a hard time understanding concepts that relate to computers. If you don’t have this problem, you probably know someone who does. On the other hand, most people understand sex. So, maybe you can learn something about computers by thinking about sex!

Hell, it’s worth a try!

Below is a list of computer terms. With each one you’ll see a description defining what it means in regards to computers and then a description defining the same thing in regards to sex.

Daisy Chain:

In computer terms:

A daisy chain is the effect of linking multiple devices together by plugging one into the computer, another into the first device, another into the second, and so on. This allows the user to hook up lots of devices to one computer.

In sexual terms:

Imagine a couple lying on the floor, and the woman is sucking on the man’s cock. You could daisy chain this by getting another woman and having her eat out the first woman. You could continue to add woman onto this line quite a ways before things became impractical.

Software design process:

In computer terms:

The software design process is the creation of new programs. This involves designing the program, writing the program, testing the program, and maintaining the program. All stages can cycle backwards.

In sexual terms:

The software design process is like eating out a woman. First, you have to figure out how to use your mouth to give her pleasure. Then, you have to actually start doing it. During and after, you should check to see if it’s working or not. If she’s not enjoying it, you should make changes. Once you’ve figured it out and you know you can do it, start trying to improve it because you know she’s going to want more pleasure the next time.

Different types of computers:

In computer terms:

We often only deal with three main groups of computers: Macs, PCs, and Linux machines. Macs are great but you’re limited to some standard things and what ever you can come up with. Linux machines have lots of options, but it’s hard to get them to do what you want unless you are experienced. PC’s are very common and have lots of options, but are plagued by viruses and unwanted effects.

In sexual terms:

Macs are like masturbating. You can get a few common toys, but you’ll largely left to your own ingenuity to get what you want. The plus side is, it’s hard to get and STD from masturbating and you still get the job done.

Linux machines are like marriage. It sounds good at first because of all the possibilities, but you soon realize that you’ll need to put in a lot of effort to make it work right. Much like masturbating, if you’re married to a loyal partner it’s not likely you’ll catch an STD but you’ll spend more time making them happy then if you just played with yourself.

PC’s are like hookers. They are cheap, unless you want them to do something out of the ordinary, they are easy to use, and it’s easy to find another one when you’re bored with the one you have. Still, if you are not extremely careful, you’re going to get lots diseases and your married friends will make fun of you for needing one.

Disks/disk drives:

In computer terms:

Disks are small objects that store data. You can take your disk from one machine to another without any problems. If you use the disk on a machine that has a virus, it might be transmitted via the disk to other machines.

In sexual terms:

This is just like fucking, at least from the male perspective. You stick your cock into a girl and if everything goes write, you send out your “data.” If data doesn’t get sent the first time, you pull your cock out of her and put it in her again and again until it works. The only difference between the two is you want things to work right on the first insertion with a computer where as with a girl if you shot off a load of data on the first insertion she’s going to be very disappointed.

Error messages:

In computer terms:

Almost anyone who has used a computer has seen an error message. “Java error 104″ is a good example. If you are an expert with computers and know a fair deal about the machine you’re dealing with, you might know how to fix this error. If you’re not, then this error means nothing and you can’t fix it.

In sexual terms:

A computer is like a woman. She’ll give you subtle or not so subtle hints that she’s not happy. If you have lots of experience with women and know a lot about this girl in particular, you might be able to solve her problem. If not, you’ll have to sleep on the couch.

Server-Client VS. Adhoc networking:

In computer terms:

A network is multiple machines hooked up together so that they can share data or resources. Two common types of network models are Server-Client and adhoc. The server client model means that all computers hook up to one centralized machine whose purpose it is to facilitate all the other machines, both computer and accessories, working together. An adhoc network is one in which machines just randomly group together without anyone centrally telling them how to connect. The first method has better control while the second requires less hardware.

In sexual terms:

Imagine a room with one guy, some sex toys, and a large number of extremely horny women. In the server-client model, all of the women are straight. They are more then willing to use the sex toys but they will only have sex with the man. This means that the only connection the women will have each other is through him.

In the adhoc model, all of the women are lesbians. They are all willing to use the toys and maybe even willing to share the toys directly with another woman. Since they are all lesbians, the man is ignored and the women can group up together in any random arrangement that they want.

Hopefully, you learned something from these comparisons. If not, hopefully, you at least thought that they were funny.

Either way though, if you are ever in a conversation in which one of these computer terms comes up, you know you’ll start thinking about sex. So try not to giggle if a coworker is having problems with his disk drive.

April 2017
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