In the town of Badonkadonk there lived a man called Chuck Johnson. Chuck was just an average guy. He was twenty one years old and still lived with his parents. He had an older brother, Lance, who’d recently come out as gay and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He also believed he lived in the most boring place on Earth. But Chuck and the rest of the inhabitants of Badonkadonk were about to become embroiled in one of the most amazing events in Earth history! But first our story starts with the misadventures of a young farm hand…

Act I:

The Horny Space Sluts of Caboose IX Arrive!

Rick Everyman had spent all day ploughing his field. He was only nineteen years old but already his whole life had been planned out for him. His pappy had been a farmer and his pappy’s pappy had been a farmer. His pappy’s pappy’s pappy had been a chicken fiddler but they didn’t like to talk about that. Besides that one anomaly, his family had been in the farming trade for generations. He had hoped to break the chain. He had dreams. He wanted to go to college, get a degree and fuck lots of easy girls. But then his pa lost both his legs in a fight with a grizzly bear; after that there was no question of him leaving home- his family needed him. His brother was too busy being a successful hairdresser to come and run a farm so the responsibility fell to Rick. He didn’t enjoy farming. Yeah alright he enjoyed the way the engine of the tractor vibrated his balls when he rode it and milking the cows was like touching a woman’s breasts (or so he thought) but besides that farming just sucked. He looked over the fields he’d spent all day working on and thought “what’s the fucking point?”, but before he could even begin to ponder what the fucking point was something amazing happened. A bright light flew through the night sky like the premature ejaculation of the virgin finally exposed to a willing vagina. Rick couldn’t make out what it was but soon realised it was going to land in his field. He knew he had to investigate as the field didn’t have wheel chair access, so his pa would be completely useless in this situation.

Rick slowly made his way towards the light. His heart was beating so fast he felt sure it would explode before he reached his destination. As he inched closer to the light it began to fade and the enormity of what had landed in his own backyard was finally dawning on him. There was no doubt in his mind as to what he was looking at. It was an alien spaceship. It was beautiful. Majestic. It looked like it had come straight out of Buck Rogers or Flash Gordon. The design was so classic he could almost swear it was a movie prop, but as the doorway opened and a silver stairway slowly lowered he knew this was not from Earth. At the top of the stairway stood the most beautiful alien he had ever seen. Her skin was greener than Kermit the Frog’s scrotum and her hair, long and perfectly straight, was a shade of silver he’d only seen in his dreams. Her lips were red, redder than the reddest red permanent marker pen and her breasts looked huge under her skin tight space suit. She looked at Rick and spoke in a heavenly voice that made his heart flutter and his cock harden.

“Earthman I have travelled many miles to make love to you,” she said.

“The fuck?” exclaimed a rather surprised Rick.

The alien goddess walked down the stairway taking each step one at a time in an almost human manner. It seemed to take forever for her to reach him but Rick didn’t blink once. He drank in her beauty like an alcoholic locked in a brewery over night. They certainly didn’t make girls like this on Earth he thought to himself. He stared into her gorgeous red eyes as she finally reached him and he felt himself fall completely in love with her.

“I am Amidala Sphincter, Queen of the Caboosian empire,” she explained to the randy farm hand. “The men of my planet all died and my people need sexual contact to live, so we have come to your planet as you humans are the closest to us on a biological level. Will you help me Earthman? Will you help me live by making love to me right now?”

Rick began drooling like an idiot and kept tripping over his tongue as he tried desperately to answer her. She gave him a pitying look but was reassured to see his penis was at least in working order.

“We of course knew your people would not be as advanced as us but we had no idea you’d be this useless sexually; I guess I must do the hard part. Just follow my lead Earthman.”

Amidala began to unzip her skin tight space suit. Rick was pleased to see it unzipped at the front so he knew he wouldn’t have too long to wait to see what he imagined were quite epic tits. Time seemed to slow down as she pulled that zip down. The lower it got more pronounced her cleavage became. He was especially pleased to realise she wasn’t wearing a bra. The zip reached her navel and she let the space suit fall to the floor. She stood before him completely naked. She was green all over and her pubic hair was the colour of sapphire. Her body looked human apart from one thing. She has three breasts thought Rick.

“You have three breasts,” he said to her forming the first sentence ever spoken to alien life by the human race.

“Yes I do,” she replied “I’ve also six clitorises so even a layman like you should be able to bring me to orgasm.”

“That’s a relief,” replied Rick “I’ve never had sex with an alien before. Or a human. Or anything in fact, unless you count my right hand which I wouldn’t if I was you because it’s not very good…”

She put her finger to his lips to silence him.

“Worry not Earthman I will teach you all you need to know about pleasuring a woman and I’ll make you feel things you’ve never felt before.”

She kissed him. His first kiss ever. His first kiss ever was with a triple breasted space goddess- even the letters page of Penthouse wouldn’t believe this one. Her tongue slid into his virgin mouth and he tried his best to react like a cool guy would. He began to wrestle her tongue with his own. The two tongues danced the dance of lust darting into each other’s eager mouths. As the tongue waltz continued Rick grew more confident and more erect. His hands began to probe Amidala’s body. Mainly the boobies for these were what interested him the most. He’d often fantasised about touching actual female breasts and now he had three of them at once. He was pleased to feel her nipples harden as he caressed them. Even this farm boy virgin knew that was a good sign. She released the occasional moan as he tweaked her bright red nipples. He felt like a proper stud. Having spent a great deal of time enjoying her breasts he allowed his hands to wander further afield, spending several seconds groping her almost perfect bottom. It was like God had spent ten years admiring the most perfect buttocks and then sculpted a loving tribute that surpassed the original in every way. Next his hands visited the place that made him most nervous. His fingers took their first trip around her lady garden and he feared his lack of experience with the ladies would really let him down but she appeared to enjoy the feel of his fingers in her most special of areas.

As much as Amidala was enjoying the enthusiastic, if slightly misguided, fingering she was receiving from her human lover it would take more than that to restore her life force. She quickly unbuttoned his dungarees and made him step out of them. She was thrilled to see his little chap standing at full attention within his boxer shorts.

“Take them off,” she demanded.

Rick was shy and nervous but knew he couldn’t say no to his space vixen. He had nothing to be ashamed of. He may not have had the biggest wang in town but it could do the job and it could do the job pretty well. He dropped his boxers and let his member spring free in the night air. Amidala dropped to her knees before him and enveloped his stiff rod with her anxious mouth. Rick had never felt anything like it in his life. Yeah sure he’d use lube whilst jacking off over his erotic materials but it was never the same as actually finding a woman willing to pop his penis in her mouth. Amidala seemed most skilled with her mouth. He wondered how many space men had fucked the moist cavern his dick was currently receiving a tongue bath in. “Ah well,” he thought “they’re all dead now anyway!” He enjoyed the feel of her tongue as she slid it slowly from base to tip. He enjoyed the sensation of her tongue darting across the tip and the way she used her fingers to tickle his balls. It reminded him of those lonely days he drove his tractor round town when the vibrations of the engine were enough to bring him to climax.

Oh shit! He was going to cum. This space slut was just too good for his virgin cock and he could feel his love spuds begin to tingle with his impending orgasm. What was the etiquette for this situation? Should he alert her his cock was about to explode like Vesuvius, or was she so skilled she’d be able to tell when it was about to happen? In the end he opted just to grunt like a monkey that’s had a carrot shoved up its bottom unexpectedly and unleash his huge load in the vacuum of her mouth. She clearly wasn’t expecting it and choked slightly before regaining control of the situation after the second spurt of chunky dick snot, swallowing the whole load like a pro.

“I am disappointed you came so quickly,” she announced “I hope you’ve got another load in you because it’s no good in my tummy I need it in my vagina if I hope to continue living.”

Rick’s face turned redder than her nipples and he mumbled his apologies.

“No matter Earthman you will learn to last longer with practice. Now I demand you return the favour. Use your tongue to bring me to orgasm whilst we await the return of your erection.”

Rick was nervous. He didn’t know what to do. The last time he’d come face to face with a vagina his mum was pushing him out of it. But he knew it would be the height of rudeness not to return the favour after the exquisite blow job he’d just received. Amidala lay down on the dry earth of his field and opened her legs so far he could have fallen into the vast black hole he perceived her pussy to be. He fell to his knees and slowly lowered his face towards the glowing warmth of her sex hole. He did his best but he was no Casanova. His tongue seemed to find all the wrong places.

“I just can’t do this right,” he whined at his disappointed lover.

Her hands moved to his head and he felt a sudden warmth.

“Remember the dog you had as a boy, Sparky, remember the way he’d lick the peanut butter off your fingers when you’d secretly feed him under the table?” she asked.

“Erm yeah…”

“Well same basic principal here. My clitoris is the peanut butter and you’re Sparky now eat my pussy like it’s the last dollop of peanut butter left on Earth!”

Rick tried to get the image of his dead dog out of his mind but felt a bit more confident now. His tongue gave her clit the tonguing of a life time and he could tell he was finally doing a good job as she began to moan loudly.

“Yes Earthman. Keep going. Keep going. Oh yes! YES! YES! YES EARTHMAN I’M CUMMING!” she roared in sexual delight. He knew he’d finally done a good job as his mouth flooded with her sex juices that tasted just like ice cold Cherry Coke.

The busty space vixen collapsed in a heap of sexual ecstasy and panted like a fat guy that had run up a flight of stairs.

“You did well Earthman,” she said between gasps.

“Thank you,” replied Rick looking smug.

“Now fuck me you glorious bastard. Fill my love tunnel with your seed!”

“Eh alright then.”

Rick wasn’t quite sure how to describe sex. It was like the blow job but somehow even better. His throbbing cock slid easily into Amidala’s glistening love tunnel. She was wetter than a British summer and he felt no resistance to his invading member. Amidala grunted like a rutting farm animal as he entered her. The noise filled the evening air and made the moment even sexier for the former virgin. Here he was losing his virginity to a space alien outside, where anyone could see. You couldn’t make this stuff up. He began to really pound her snatch. Harder, faster. Harder, faster. He pounded her with nineteen years of sexual frustration. He was a ball of lust. He was the pistons of a sex train that wasn’t stopping until it reached the end of the line. He pounded that space pussy and he pounded it good. He slid his cock as deep as it would go feeling his scrotal sac bouncing against her pert bottom as he fucked her missionary style.

Amidala was having the time of her life. Her lover’s lack of experience was made up for by his eagerness to please. He was fucking her for all she was worth and she loved it. She knew this man wanted her more than anything else in his life. She was special to him and always would be as his first lover from outer space. She took control and rolled him on to his back. She teased him by rubbing her pussy over the tip of his cock but not letting him enter. The pleading look in his eyes drove her wild with desire then when he least suspected it she dropped on to his throbbing love rod, cumming as she felt the full force of his wang. She began to bounce up and down, making her three huge breasts bounce which was pretty damn awesome as far as Rick was concerned. They made mad passionate love out in the moonlight for what felt like hours. With every thrust of his cock Rick grew in confidence. He pulled her off his cock and turned her over. He knew he had to take her from behind. He had to do it doggy style. They were animals ruled by their instincts and they should fuck like animals he thought. He slid his cock between her legs and she squealed in delight. He fucked her harder and harder. He knew his orgasm was fast approaching and he was fairly sure she had had more than a few of her own.

“Are you ready to cum for me big boy?” she asked sluttily.

Rick just groaned.

“Let’s see if I can speed things up a little shall we?”

Rick felt her arms sliding behind him. They seemed to get longer. Surely she shouldn’t be able to reach that far. He felt her warm hands begin to caress his buttocks. Just what was she doing? He felt his arse cheeks part as her fingers began to probe his anal regions.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked.

“Relax and enjoy the moment,” she purred as she slid a finger into his tight anus.

“Uh, uh, uh,” he groaned before exploding in orgasm flooding her eager pussy with his own personal man milk.

Rick collapsed in exhaustion and confusion. What the hell had just happened to him?

To be continued…

September 2018
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