california

I want to give a special special SPECIAL shout out to Fa_JF!!!! You made my day. Your words touched me. I loved the advice you gave me. I will definitely take it. Actually, everybody that sent and sends me feedback I love it. I hope you guys don’t think I ignore it; it’s just that sometimes, well most times, you guys send it anonymously so I can’t reply to it. I want you guys to know that means EVERYTHING to me. I seriously mean it. I love when you guys send me stuff that warms my heart lol.



It’s crazy how much I’ve come to love this story. I’ve found comfort in this story. You guys don’t know this but I am a mother. Actually, I’m a young mother at that. I’m only 18 going on 19 (07/25 go Leos). Another thing is I’m a single mother. My boyfriend was killed a couple of months before our daughter Akemi (more Japanese lol) was born in April. It was actually around that time that I submitted my first story. It’s crazy how I was struggling with dealing with that, but writing has been a great outlet for all the pain I’ve felt. I am at peace with his death. Now I’m in a great place. I have a little baby girl, my sophomore year in college is about to start, and I’m just really happy. I need this story just as much as you guys. Writing this is healing me. OMG I’m such a sap lol. Ok enough of this. Thanks for all the support lovelies.




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“What are you?” Marie asked.



I had been woke for not even a whole minute and she was already questioning me. I had no idea what she was even talking about and I had the worst headache. I literally felt banging in my head. I rubbed my eyes and sat up in my bed.



“What are you talking about Marie”? I inquired.



I wasn’t registering what she was saying. The question just didn’t interest me at that moment and I wasn’t thinking about it. She was so blunt and straight forward with her question that it didn’t even make sense. I was surprised she was even still here.



“What are you?” she asked repeating herself.



“How long was I out?”



“2 days. You answered my question with a question. That isn’t how this works.”



“You’re actually really annoying right now. Where are the boys?”



I watched her tilt her head and gather a confused look on her face. She squinted and shook her head. I had no idea what she was doing.



“What boys Natalia?”



“Your brothers. Jimmy and Byron!”



“I don’t have any brothers Natalia! I’m an only child!”



I rubbed my temples and looked her in the face. She was being dead serious and she looked like she had no idea what I was even close to talking about. I was truly losing my mind. I remembered 2 boys. I found them when I found her. I remembered them just like I remembered her. But I didn’t see any little boys. I don’t hear any little boys. I was truly losing my mind. I was going crazy. I was imagining kids that didn’t even exist. Something was wrong with me. I needed to check myself in a mental hospital.



“No I’m just kidding! They’re at our grandparent’s house,” she said laughing.



“That isn’t funny dummy. I thought I was losing my mind. I was seriously considering checking into a mental hospital,” I replied sticking my tongue out at her.



That little joke wasn’t funny, but it did get me thinking. I was a feeling so out of touch with reality lately.



“I didn’t know you had any living relatives left,” I said.



“Me neither. I went to take the boys to the park and a woman stopped me while I was pushing Byron on the swings. To my shock and surprise, it was our grandmother. Of course, we remembered her from the times we would have to sleep in her house because it was too cold to sleep outside, but I was still shocked to see her. Apparently after the last time, she warned my mom that she was going to try to get custody of us. Well my mom didn’t like that so she cut all contact with her parents and we never went back. They had been looking for us ever since. It was quite the emotional scene,” she replied nonchalantly.



“Wow that is actually really crazy. I am glad it all worked out for the best.” I commented.



“We had a long talk after going to her house. I’ve decided to let the boys stay with her.” She said smiling sadly. “She extended the offer to me but I declined. I’ll visit them but I decided I would be being selfish if I kept them with me. They finally have the chance to have a normal childhood and go to school. They wouldn’t be able to do that with me. And before you ask, of course I am sad. But they deserve to be kids.”



I nodded. “I understand the idea of sacrificing your own happiness for the happiness of others. I commend you on your ability to be so strong.”



“It wasn’t easy but it was the right choice. The boys didn’t really make the choice harder. They were ecstatic to live with her,” She laughed.



“Well kids are the easiest creatures alive to please. Sometimes they like you and sometimes they don’t. They can switch up on you in just 2 seconds, but you gotta love them.”



She nodded her agreement. I knew it took a lot of strength to let her brothers go even though it would be best for them. My brothers never thought twice about me. In a way, I didn’t have any brothers. I never saw them; they never called, so they didn’t really exist to me.



“So what are you?” she said repeating her original question.



I laid back down and rolled over with my back facing her. Maybe she would just go away. I had a serious headache and I didn’t feel like playing 25 questions. I would just figure out what she meant when I woke back up. I yawned and closed my eyes.



“You’re not human,” she said quietly.



In fact she said it so quiet, that I almost missed it. Nobody else would have been able to hear it but somebody with my hearing. It was like she said it only so she could hear it. I sat up and looked at her. I was suddenly very interested in what she had to say. It had finally hit me about what she asked.



“What did you say?” I questioned.



“What are you Natalia? Your secret is safe with me. I know you aren’t human,” She whispered.



“I am human. What do you mean?”



“I saw you.”



“Saw me what Marie?”



“You know…”



“I know what?”



“What you did.”



“What did I do?! Stop with the mind games!”



“You were a wolf, then you were a mouse, then you were a bird. Then you changed back and started floating. It was weird and but you didn’t scare me. I trust that you won’t hurt me.”



“You sound crazy.”



“I sound like a person who saw you,” she pointed at me, “transform 4 times in her living room. Then you transformed into a wolf and wouldn’t let me come near you. You are a very mean wolf. After an hour of inching closer you let me pet you. Finally after 10 minutes you transformed back and fell asleep. Then you talked in your sleep. You answered all the questions I asked. It’s unfortunate what happened to your “mate” by the way.” She made air quotes with her fingers around the word mate. “You were just about to tell me what the hell you were, but you woke up.”



I fell back into the bed. I didn’t remember a thing.



“And don’t think about erasing my memory because I’ve wrote everything down and I will find the paper I hid and reread it. It would be pointless.”



“Marie…”



“No don’t ‘Marie…’ me. Ok? I don’t care that you’re some freaky weird animal transformer. You gave us a home. You made a way for us. I’m sure if you were going to kill me, you could have been did it. So it goes without saying that I trust you. I could’ve left you on that kitchen floor in pain, but I didn’t. You owe me the truth. You wanted me to trust you; I want you to trust me.”



“Why aren’t you freaking out?”



“I told you already. I trust you. Your wolf let me get close to you.”



I groaned. I didn’t want to have this conversation right now. I had a headache and I didn’t know what was wrong with me.



“When are you going to visit the boys?”



“Don’t change the subject. Can you turn into other things? Can you do spells?”



I sighed. No use in denying what she already knew and it was clear she didn’t plan on leaving until she had her answers.



“Yes and yes,” I told her folding my arms.



“That is so cool. What are you?” she asked twirling her hair.



“A witch and a were. You really can’t tell anybody. I’m serious. I like you and I’d hate to have to report you missing,” I said seriously.



She laughed. “Don’t worry about that. I’m as quiet as a mouse.”



I got out the bed. I was wearing a black camisole tank top and a lacey pair of pink boy shorts. My hair was in a tight bun and I had on a pair of pink and black thigh high socks. I was dressed for a Playboy cover. I looked at Marie questionably.



“I had to dress you. You were naked and I figured you would like to wake up stylish. You’re just lucky I got the boys to stay out the living room while you were malfunctioning. Can I ask you a personal question? Don’t get offended,” she warned shrugging.



“Umm sure… I mean what more could you ask?” I asked.



I started walking towards the bathroom. Of course I would feel sick at a time like this. This flu had to go.



“Umm no offense, but umm you’re kind of fat and you’re moody, sick, tired and pale. Umm… are you… umm… you know?” she asked very unsure of herself.



“Am I what?” I asked turning around eyeing her suspiciously.



“Pregnant?” she blurted out.



“No!” I followed up quickly.



I was very offended. Why do people say “no offense” before they say something offensive? Is that a way to soften the wound? It still hurt. I was fat. I frowned at the thought of weighing myself.



“I’m sorry. It’s just that your stomach is a little round and it’s very hard. Way harder than a regular belly. I was just wondering,” she said trying to make me feel better.



I looked at my stomach. Sure I had gained a little weight but not that much. I didn’t know that I looked pregnant. I frowned and rubbed my stomach. I was just a little bloated. I wasn’t pregnant. I am sure I would know if I was pregnant.



“Umm earth to Natalia!” Marie said snapping her fingers in my face.



“Oh huh?” I asked snapping out my thoughts.



“I said show me your magic. Make that door open,” she whispered.



She was right in front of my face so there was no point in yelling but why we she whispering.



“Why are you whispering?” I asked stepping back.



“You still have a headache right?”



“Nope.”



“Well show meeee,” She squealed excitedly.



I rolled my eyes. I guess I would just show her so she could shut up and leave me alone. I pointed at the door and it blew up. We ducked, the door shards barely missing us. I gasped. Why did it do that? I concentrated and focused on the bathroom door. It blew up again.



“What’s wrong?” Marie asked concerned.



“I don’t know Marie. Something is wrong. I guess I’m just not focusing because my headache just went away. Maybe I’m just tired,” I said making excuses.



She nodded sympathetically. “It’ll be ok,” She said hugging me.



“You’ve changed,” I said hugging her back. “You’re open. You’re nicer too. I didn’t know you were this friendly.”



She laughed loudly. “You didn’t know me and I didn’t know you. It’s a mechanism you learn after living on the streets for so long. You can’t be nice to any and every one. It’s everybody for their selves. There is no in between. It’s killed or be killed. Only the strongest survive.”



I nodded. It was clear that she had been through a lot. My stomach growled and we both laughed. I guess after 2 days of sleeping I was hungry. We walked to the kitchen and I sat at the bar. I let my thoughts consume me as I watched her pull out things to cook. I wonder what Eric’s and I kid would have looked like. I almost wished I was pregnant so I would still have a piece of him.



“What ‘cha thinking about girly?” She asked interrupting me from my thoughts.



I sighed and smiled a little smile. “Just wondering if I was pregnant, which I am not, what Eric’s and I child would look like?”



I saw her smile. “Beautiful,” She said winking.



“How do you know?” I asked smiling at her.



“You described him to me while you were sleep. I can tell that you loved him. I can tell that he was very handsome. You 2 were truly meant to be. He was the other half of your soul. The missing piece to your life,” she said dreamily. “Sorry, I am a diehard romantic. I just think it is a great thing you got to find your true love. A lot people never get to experience even a fraction of that love before they die. I can only imagine how many people die without knowing any love. “



I nodded. I did love him. Even if I didn’t show him. I sighed.



“Unfortunately I didn’t deserve him and I treated him like he didn’t deserve me,” I said sadly. “I’ll never get the chance to show him how much I actually loved him. I told him I wish I never met him, that I didn’t want to be with him. One time I told him that I hated him.”



I could feel the tears threatening to escape my eyes.



She turned around and grabbed my hand over the bar. “I know how it feels to say things solely out of anger. The day my mom died, I told her I hated her for ruining our lives. I told her she didn’t deserve to live and she damn sure didn’t deserve to have kids. I told her she was nothing and would never be anything because she couldn’t even stay sober long enough to love her own kids,” she said with tears running down her face. “I watched her smile a sad defeated smile and drop her head. She whispered she was sorry and walked away. I was so damn mad that I didn’t care that I had hurt her. I wanted her to hurt. I was glad she felt that pain. I just got the boys and went to beg for food. When we came back, she was dead.” I felt my own tears running down my face. “The last thing I told my mother was that I hated her. I saw her heart break that day. I saw the hope flood from her eyes, but I didn’t even care. I had killed her before she even killed herself. In a way I am responsible for her death. She purposely killed herself. She overdosed because I took what little life she had left. I killed my own mother!”



She was sobbing and I was sobbing with her. I was speechless and all I could do was cry. I walked around into the kitchen and held her as she cried. She had been the grown up for so long. She was raising her brothers. She was caring for them, but she had nobody to care for her.



“Look at us. Like a bunch of girly girls. I’m sorry for getting my snot and tears all over your shoulder. I had been holding that in for months. I guess my full cup finally tipped over,” She said laughing.



I’m sorry I didn’t have any motivational words for you. I wish I could have comforted you and made you feel better,” I said smiling sadly.



I didn’t have any experience with this. Sam never wanted to hear encouraging words. She just wanted somebody to listen to her.



“You helped me just by listening to me and crying with me. I’m just happy that I finally got all that pain out. Thank you for that,” She said rubbing away my tears.



I responded by rubbing away hers. In my opinion this was gross. It was truly a disgusting thing. I hated tears. I just did. Dirty little drops of salt. That’s what I thought they were.



“I’m glad I met you. I know we met for a reason,” She said.



I nodded. This was such an emotional setting. It was too much for me. I still hadn’t come to terms with Eric’s death. I was just avoiding it and not dealing with it.



“Wanna go shopping?” I asked her changing the subject.



“Hell yea!” she said jumping up.



I watched her run out the room and smiled. She was surely growing on me. I felt a pain in my stomach and fell to my knees. I needed to go to the doctors.



“Hey you alright?”



I looked up and saw Marie standing in the doorway with concern in her eyes. She walked over to me and helped me to my feet.



“Ignoring the obvious would be a fool’s move. You’re pale, you’re having pains, you’re sick and you can’t control your… you know,” She said whispering the last part. “To the doctors we go.



*************************************************************************



“Have you found the girl yet?”



“Not yet sir! We know she is somewhere in New York.”



Jake slammed his hand on the table in anger.



“We need to find her before the wolf does. I want that power Jeffery. I WANT IT NOW!” He roared.



“With all due respect sir, we need more time. She doesn’t want to be found. She isn’t making this easy for us,” Jeffery trembled.



“I DON’T CARE. FIND HER!” he yelled.



“Sir I don’t mean to overstep, but I’m sure Samantha knows. Why not ask her?” He whispered.



Jake flipped his hand and the man fell to his knees gasping in pain.



“How dare you question me? You insolent fool. I am your master. My mate is currently unavailable. If it was that easy, I would have just asked her. I wouldn’t have armies looking for the girl! I WOULDN’T NEED YOUR WORTHLESS ASS!” He yelled.



He flipped his wrist again and Jeffrey grabbed his throat in relief.



“Yes master. I am sorry the disrespect,” He choked out.



“Go. Find her,” He said dismissing the weak man.



*************************************************************************



The doctor’s office made me sick to my stomach. The smell, look, sound, all of it made me want to throw up. I didn’t want to be here.



“Natalia Miyoko,” the nurse yelled looking around. I stood up and she looked at me. “The doctor will see you now.”



I looked down at Marie. I surely didn’t want to go alone. She got up and we walked to the back. It was a narrow hallway filled with pictures of happy clients I’m guessing.



“How depressing,” Marie whispered.



I nodded. It was indeed a morbid setting. The nurse led us in a room and closed the door. I guess the doctor would be with us in a minute. I sat on the table and waited.



“I’m scared…” I admitted.



“Relax doll, you’ll be fine. You have me here don’t you?” She said winking.



The doctor entered the room. I couldn’t make out his face because of his face mask, but I could tell he was an older man.



“What seems the problem Ms. Miyoko?” he asked in a deep voice.



“Well I’ve been feeling sick and I’ve been in a lot of pain,” I answered.



“Ok before I start I need you to answer some questions,” he explained.



“Ok,” I said nodding.



“Are you sexually active?”



“Yes.”



“When was your last menstrual cycle?”



“I’m irregular. So it comes and goes. Sometimes I get it, sometimes I don’t. Most time I don’t.”



“Are you on any type of birth control?”



“No.”



“That’s strange. Any alcohol or drugs?”



“No.”



“Ok. Lie back and let’s get started.”



I laid back and watched him pull out his stethoscope. He pulled the side of my shirt over and listened to my heart. He walked over and wrote something down. I wonder what it was. He came back and pulled my shirt up exposing my stomach. I shuddered at the cold metal on the bottom of my stomach. He looked at his wrist and went to write something else down. He walked back to me and had me stand on a scale. I was shocked. I hadn’t gained a thing! Maybe 2 or 3 pounds! After he checked my weight and my blood pressure, took a urine sample, and gave me a blood test, he pressed hardly on the bottom of my stomach with 2 fingers.



“Oww!” I yelped.



“Umhm. Come with me,” he said.



Marie helped me off the table and we followed the doctor to a room. I walked in and saw a woman in white and table like chair thing waiting for me. Next to that I saw a monitor. I turned around to walk back out but Marie pushed me in.



I groaned. “I’m not pregnant Doctor.”



“Well don’t you want to be certain Natalia? Here. Go get undressed,”



I walked to the bathroom and quickly stripped down. I would just find out to bury my worries. Better safe, than sorry. I sighed and slid the dress on and went and laid on the table. I put my feet in the stirrups and waited. The nurse handed the doctor a wand looking device and a condom. He held up the stick that now was covered in a condom and pointed it at me.

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